(Last updated: 8-21-2026)

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR ME AS A PERSON THEN I ADVISE YOU TO TURN AWAY NOW. CLICK THE 'X' IN THE TOP CORNER OF YOUR SCREEN! RUN, FLEE, ESCAPE. IF YOU ARE A FAMILY MEMBER THEN YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ENTER BEYOND THIS POINT!

Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.

If you want to know who the hell I am and why I spent my hard-earned $21.99 to register this domain and to share my thoughts with the world then you can click here to find out. I have no update schedule so if you don't like it then you can ggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttt oooooooouuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt!

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Why are you still here? Chances are pretty damn good that I WILL insult you in some fashion if you choose to continue beyond this point. The purpose of this site is to entertain me, and I am often entertained at the expense of others. Therefore, prepare to be slandered. A lot. It's still not to late to leave with your feelings intact!

Friday: 8-21-26: I need a living room floor. I need a vacation. NO VACATION FOR ME! Sorry, no money.
I had a living room floor, but I started to cancel it this week. I took up some of the old, bootleg hardwood flooring a few days ago and that sucked. A lot. Today I took up a lot more of it and I also ripped out the ancient boards below to expose nothing but the 2x8 joists below:

^I probably should not hang out in that room tonight hehe. I haven't had a living room here yet because the place has been under construction. I used the space for storage, but I should have a living room this fall. Maybe? Hopefully! After Gavin and I replace that floor we have to do the ceiling, I have to rebuild a wall, replace two windows, insulate, sheetrock, etc. Yeah, gonna be a while. It's gonna take several more hours just to rip out the rest of that floor. What a bunch of crap! I have about 4.5 feet opened up now, and it's 12 x15, give or take a little. Gavin took today off from work to help some, and he focused downstairs moving wires and everything. We made a plan then I was able to go to the dump to get rid of a half-ton of crap and buy some Advanteck and 2x8x16 lumber at Lowe's. We will work on it this weekend.

All this carpentry work is exhausting. Ripping up that floor is very arduous, and on top of that I have sheetrock work to do not only here in this unfinished place but also at that huge garage job. I have tax stuff to catch up up as well. I need a vacation gods damn it. However, I will not be doing that anytime soon. What a bunch of crap! I'm severely jammed up with work and that will push me well into October before I even have a glimmer of hope to be caught up. However, I won't get caught up because I need to take care of some stuff at the house in Eddington still. I left and things aren't done and I can't leave Kat with that. There is a bootleg kitchen leak to fix and some cleanup, etc.

I am looking forward to being able to sit at the desk for a few days and focus more on the tax business. I should stop the carpentry for a bit and get on that, but it seems I never make enough precious... precious time for it. What a bunch of crap! The tax office isn't even 100% done yet because I'm all over the map. Gods damn it! I have to get the final Mad Kat bills and pay them off so I can do final statements of the epic fail. One of the investors texted me congratulations on the sale earlier and he's wondering when he'll get his money back. HAHAHAHAHA. SORRY MY FRIEND THE PLACE CRASHED AND BURNED AND FINANCIALLY EVERYTHING RELATED TO THAT IS THIS:

^Star Wars Sarlacc-Pit where everything that goes in dies a slow, horrible death. Except somehow Bobba Fett because Disney bought the franchise and brought his ass back to life in a series that wasn't half-bad, but that I barely remember. If you are an investor in the failed restaurant then this is the situation right now:

I am very sorry we failed, and it destroyed my ass. I'm starting to slowly recover from it mentally, but only slowly and financially see above. If I get more money I'll work on paying some investor money back. Maybe? Hopefully! I owe tens of thousands still myself so there is no meat on the financial bone. What a bunch of crap! The guilt I feel is like a black cloud that follows my dumb, loser-ass everywhere in my life. I could fly away a billion light-years away to a utopia planet and that black cloud would be there waiting for me. Fuck!

I should thank the gods who do not even exist that my loser-ass is so busy with the carpentry becuse if I had more precious... precious free time I'd sit there and marinate more on my epic fails and, even though I don't have an addictive personality, I'd probably drink a lot more and it would be a slippery slope I'd slide right down into something that looks like a cross between what we think of hell, the ending scene of a shitty Star Wars movie, and the lava levels in Super Mario Bros games...

^It's all-bad when you're dancing across the lava, and yes that is a metaphor for playing with fire and getting burned. Sometimes I feel like I'm Mario in that photo and I would die 99 out of 100 times if I was playing the game right there, especially after 3 drinks on a Friday night. I want to play video games again, but that will have to wait and I'm not even good at them anymore so what's the point? I can find easy ones I guess, maybe something rated for a 6-year old hehehe.

My nice little peaceful porch and 80s music help me. A lot. However, my little peaceful porch smells like a truck stop because Gavin spilled 2 gallons of gas earlier and all I wanna know is why? Why does the gas smell still linger? It was a beautiful, sunny day, low humidity, perfect, so why didn't the gas just evaporate? This house is probably built on an old burial ground so it's cursed. I'm just making that up of course hehehe. The gas-smell doesn't bother me that much and I'm gonna go sit on the porch again soon before I bivouac because it's a beautiful night and there is a half-moom and I can open the window some and rip out 80s music some more. Sox are on, 6-4 good guys in the top of the 9th at Fenway, Champan is on the bump with an 0-2 count and one out, runner at 1st. Strikeout let's go, one more out and Sox will be 68-58, remarkable since in early June they were a TERRIBLE team in last place.

Sox win! I need to smoke a bit from my new vape that I'm still learning to use and get baked enough to sleep most of the night. Maybe? Hopefully! I don't sleep great, and tennis elbow wakes my dumb ass up sometimes and it takes a while to get back to sleep. What a bunch of crap! I fail.

^Awarded to myself yet again. A recurring theme...

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Wednesday: 8-19-26: RIP Frank Beard. Weird 80s video like a boss featuring the ZZ Top Eliminator-car. Epic!
Frank Beard from ZZ Top died yesterday. I'm not a huge ZZ Top fan, but they have a lot of great songs and their music videos from the 80s are generally awesome, at least the ones I've seen. In a weird twist of irony Frank Beard was the one without the signature long beard. HAHAHA! Were they trolling us before trolling became a "real" word? I think their 1983 album Elininator was their best and the one that featured the coolest music videos. That album had good songs like Sharp Dressed Man, Gimme All your Lovin, Legs, Got me Under Pressure, and the bizzare yet entertaining TV Dinners. I really like the song Sleeping Bag, and I thought that was also from Eliminator because of the famous car, but I was wrong. That one, probably my favorite ZZ Top song, was actually from 1985, Afterburner album. I watched the video last week after I had a couple drinks, and it was epic and confusing. I loved it! I watched it again a couple times since then including tonight, and it's a bizarre, shit-show, masterpiece.

^Video starts off with a Freddy Krueger-looking dude breaking in and stealing the chick's money. Somehow he knew where the money was located, under the floorboard, but she slammed the winder on his hand and from the video comments she's the chick from A Nightmare on Elm Street. HAHAHAHA! This video is a trip to the unreal, and in a hurry. ZZ Top is there, three hot chicks are there, the bad guy seems to chase the chick and some guy, ZZ Top created a magic tent, there is not really a sleeping bag anywhere 99.9% of the time, and all I wanna know is why? Why did they make this? It rocks!

Later in the video after ZZ Top uses magic to help the chick and dude escape the bad guys get a monster truck, they run over cars because... of course it's the 80s hahaha! Then there is a spaceship that ZZ Top pilots, and they wind up launching from the Great Pyramid in Egypt. I swear to the gods who do not exist they must have used a lot of drugs when they came up with this. A LOT.

^1985 "CGI" or whatever, launching their spaceship and flying around like three of the coolest guys ever. The three hot chicks appear randomly here and there as well, but they add nothing other than well, 1980s, bootleg special effects, a monster truck, inept bad guys, hot chicks. Somehow it all works! If you don't like this song or the video then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.

Frank Beard lived to be 77. Not bad for an old rocker who probably did a lot of drugs.

My tennis elbow has flared up a bit recently. What a bunch of crap! It's not unexpected considering all the sheetrock work I'm doing. Somehow things worked out where I am doing two different sheetrock jobs at once, but here at my new apartment it's just the bathroom that I FINALLY got 100% sheetrocked. Well, not 100% but just don't tell Gavin to go into the laundry closet and look above where the doors will go. Hehehe. That fuckin' bathroom, nothing easy there with venting, nooks, etc. What a bunch of crap! I hung the last piece of sheetrock there this afternoon before I read my book for a bit. This morning I was mudding in there at 0700 like a boss. I wanted the bathroom done this week, but that is impossible and oh well.

This garage job is also epic sheetrock, mud, tape, etc:

^That photo is from Friday last week and since then I've gotte a lot more done. I have staging planks all over the place it looks ghetto, but it's safe (Maybe? Hopefully!) and it helps my dumb ass reach everything without feeling like I'm about to tumble off the ladder. I am working carefully, mostly. Today I spent 4.25 hours doing mud, tape, and more mud:

I actually feel a little ahead of schedule there, but I know I'm really not because I still hae to sheetrock a lot of the back end and the right. I have to work around that stupid pool pump as well, but at least that will be at and under 8 feet because I'm trying to taclke the top, the hardest part, first on that end. I'm gonna be doing a lot of sheetrock work from now through most if not all of September and definitely into October. What a bunch of crap! I want that garage sheetrock done by the end of September, but here at my new apartment I'm sure I'll still be working on the living room and then the second bedroom in October. I just hope I'm not still doing it in November because I might go get a seasonal job at FedEx or the Post office around then, but I'm not entirely sure about that yet. I want to deer hunt with Dad and Jason before I do that, if I do it at all.

The owners of that huge "Garage-Mahal" as the neighbors call it, will probably find other work for my loser-ass after I finish that thing. I think it will be done in October including final trim, cleanup, etc. Maybe? Hopefully!

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Monday: 8-17-26: Unacceptable conditions on our sister-ship. Trump, really?!
All I wanna know is why? Why does our self-centered, obtuse, arrogant president treat the military this way? I love some of the things he does, but other things cannot be explained by normal people. A recent story broke regarding conditions aboard CVN-72, the USS Abraham Lincoln, our sister-ship from a lifetime ago when I was barely a legal adult and very much still a kid, mid-90s, stationed in Alameda, California. Our USS Carl Vinson (CVN-70) bethred on the right side, and the Lincoln berthed on the left. However, we weren't both in-port too often. I actually had a friend on the Lincoln, but that ws 30 years ago now OMG. I remeber the Lincoln came back from a deployment with a big dent because I believe it collided with the on-rep ship while at sea. HAHAHAHA. I shouldn't laugh that probably cost the taxpayers a billion 1995 dollars to fix, give or take. What a bunch of crap!

So the Lincoln and Vinson are both still in-service, active, and the Lincoln has been deployed since November 21, 2025. Due to the shit-show in the Persian Gulf area (it never changes over there, does it?) the Lincoln has been deployed ever since then, and there are reports of deteriorating morale and conditions aboard the ship. Supply-shortages, shitty food, etc. Food often sucks when deployed, but I guess it's exceptionally terrible lately. I saw a headline news story about it a couple days ago, and today there is this story:

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/17/trump-uss-abraham-lincoln-strait-of-hormuz

At the White House on Monday, the president berated a CNN reporter at a press availability, insisting that she “be quiet” and describing the reporting as fake news...

He said, ‘I’ve been on ships that are out there much longer than that, sir. And I know people on the Lincoln, they say it’s beautifully maintained and beautifully taken care of.’ And other people went out and they found out that to be true,” said Trump. “It was fake news reporting from CNN.”

The Lincoln, a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier capable of long deployments without refueling, left port from San Diego on 21 November 2025 and has now set a modern record for the longest time at sea without a port call. It has been more than 250 days since it has touched land.

The publications described shortages of supplies and water and plumbing problems. Several sailors have attempted to leap from the ship according to their reports, prompting Democratic lawmakers to demand answers from the Pentagon."

TRUMP YOU ARE A DICK! WHAT A PATHETIC BUNCH OF CRAP! Guy never served a day in his life and he's way too big for his britches talking about long depolyments like that. LONG DEPLOYMENTS FUCKING SUCK A BAG OF DICKS, AND THAT'S ALL-BAD WHEN YOU'RE NOT GAY GODS DAMN YOUZ.

I feel badly for everyone on the Lincoln, and thankfully they are heading home. We did a long deployment in 1996 and after being at-sea for something like 60 consecutive days we got two free beers. What a fuckin' joke! They gave us little ticket-things for them and I gave mine away. Our depolyment was "only" six months, but that felt really long and we had several port-calls along the way. Japan, Singapore, Oman, some bootleg sand tent setup in the gulf (What a bunch of crap that was!), Australia, Hawaii, etc. Being at sea for even 60 days in a row is hard. You lose track of days, they all blend together, and you're stuck with 5000 other people. The AC went out a lot back in 1996 because the Persian Gulf was something like 98 degrees and how the hell does technology invented in the 70s or 80s convert that to cool air? It wouldn't shock me at all if the Lincoln still has that same technology since it was out sister-ship. Very similar if not almost identical to the ship I was on. We did endless circles in the gulf IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! I guess it's always summer over there, but it must be worse in July than in January since it's north of the equator.

On the bright side for them they get a ton of nontaxable combat pay. I got some of that, but my taxable income was probably $5000 so did it really matter?! Hehehehe. Pretty sad when sailors are jumping off the ship. Man-overboard sucks. A lot. Everyone has to get up and muster so they can try to figure out who took the plunge. The ship posts lookouts, but when a lookout sees someone jump they don't usually say "Oh hey, there goes Petty Officer Bob from Air Ops." No one knows who it is with a crew of over 5,000 when fully depoloyed with air-wing aboard, and who knows these days maybe there are motion detectors and robots that do the lookouts?

I'd love to go aboard the Vinson to see how it's all changed since I requested permission to go ashore for good early August, 1998. I don't think my job exists anymore. I had 1000 jobs so of course most of them exist, but the primary one where I stood behind a plexiglass board with sound-powered headphones on and updated aircraft status is most likely long-gone to LED screens and computers. We had to write backwards, too! I wonder if I can still do that? I remember some of the signs for bolter, waveoff, a lot of that stuff.

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Saturday: 8-15-26: How much cash can fit into my briefcase?
I failed to take a picture, but my briefcase was chocked-full of cash yesterday morning. $99,000 OMG! It took up a little more space than this, but not by much:

^From February, 2025. My life is such a crazy-train I can't even fit it all in on this bootleg site that no one ever reads. Back then we took a $30,000 down payment and the buyer's cash-management system was an epic fail and a bunch of crap all rolled up into one. It's almost certain that was illegal drug-money, just one step away from "dirty-whore money" and I love the hell out of that expression. I got it from Jody Hammond probably 20 years ago when Doug ran porn sites and I was buying a rental property. Hahah. I don't even know what dirty-whore money is, but the term is fantastic.

$99,000 fit in with a little room to spare. $30k in $100 bills, $30k in $50 bills, $49k in $20 bills. I think? If it was more maybe an epic vacation instead of paying debt?! Hehehehe. Kat said throw it on the bed and have a party or something like that. HAHAHAHAHAHA EPIC. Tempting for sure, but the crazy life that follows would end me.

The payment we got yesterday morning around 0900 was also drug money, but I think it was "legal drug money." Maybe? Hopefully! The guy owns a bunch of marijuana stores so that is very much a cash business, and it's a bunch of crap banks won't do business with them because the federal government is borderline inept. I did NOT want to take a $99,000 cash payment, but even worse I did not want to lose the chance to dump the shit-show epic failer restaurant. Kat and Katherine also helped count, and the guy brought a machine that made me think of the great movie Scarface. However, in that movie when they were using the machine to count the cocaine money the feds busted in hahahaha. We locked the door to keep out the feds, thank you, Katherine. She's very fast at counting money, and I'm very slow.

Kat and Katherine were a huge help in getting this thing done, and I feel very badly for Kat because her dream went up in smoke and I checked out of everything. The guilt is almost off the scale on my end. Selfishly I am VERY relieved to be done with that restaurant, and even better we paid off a business loan that would have SUCKED to have hanging over us for years to come. I still owe a bunch from another loan, but the biggest loan is paid off. I coordinated with the bank in advance so they were ready with another Scarface-movie-like couunting machine when I arrived with my drug-money briefcase. HAHAHAHA. What a funny term, but it's 100% true that was the literal definition of drug money HAHAHAHA. This buyer is one of the most interesting people whom I've ever met, and he's all over the map. He just rolls in with a duffel bag full of cash just like in the movies, his dog hanging out in his truck, dressed like someone from Miami Vice from the 80s, just can't even make this shit up. I didn't have time to ask Kat what she thought of the guy because I had $99,000 in my briefcase and getting robbed would have sucked. A lot. So I boogied my dumb ass to the bank to get rid of it ASAP.

For a minute we might have had over $100k in the bank account, but we owed on that loan so almost all of it disappeared faster than the epic and great INXS song Disappear that just played a few minutes ago on my 80s killer YouTube playlist. Yeah, that's how I roll. There still is a few grand in the business bank account, but we owe more bills so it will also disappear. What a bunch of crap!

I NO LONGER CO-OWN A RESTAURANT OH JESUS HELL YA! I would work at one again as a server or host or some shit, maybe, and only if the vibe is right, possibly one day a week. NOT AS AN OWNER, THOUGH. Being a server isn't that hard really and I accidentally was pretty good at it. However, I tried to avoid doing it at all costs. Sometimes there would be callouts or we would be too busy so I'd have to jump in. Bartending was the worst because other than basic cocktails, draft beers (that I often still fucked up and poured too foamy), and shots I sucked. I was good with the people, though. FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT. Kat was good as well, but she never seemed to have confidence and since she was the CEO it took her away from other, more important duties.

It's a Saturday evening and I am all by my fucking self. It's GREAT. No one is here at all in this entire place. Gavin went to his Mom's to finish a deck, his tenants in the small front 1BR apt are gone, and even if they were here it wouldn't matter because the back part where I live is separated enough and usually quiet. I just put the Red Sox on, and I updated my spreadsheets for the day. Two trips to the dump and several hours of demolition work was enough of a workout to finish off what was another very busy and physically-taxing week. I got a lot of the living room cleared of plaster and lath:

^That $6 cheapo mirror and sink in the corner = HAHAHAHA. My entire life = what a bunch of crap! It's a fuckin' train wreck still, but somehow I don't hate it. That's where I brush my teeth, do a few dishes, etc. I have a ghetto little blue table that I moved aside and I put it back next to the sink. That table should go to the dump as well hehehe.

I left some of the laths on that back wall because I needed to get a second trip to the dump before they closed. First trip was early, 0730, and being there right when they opened was awesome because it wasn't busy so I could shoot the shit with the guys who work there for a bit. I like those guys and they treat me well. I dumped what was easily 3000-4000 total pounds today for under $100. AWESOME! That also included three old air conditioners Gavin wanted to haul on and a bunch of heavier-than-expected metal chain-link old fencing from that big garage job.

I focused more on getting as much plaster as possible into the dump trailer because that's heavy and the landfill doesn't charge by weight like the other Brewer dump does. I don't mind paying by weight, but when it's plaster or roof shingles paying by weight SUCKS. A lot. It gets expensive in a hurry. What a bunch of crap! Brewer landfill is only open the first the third Saturdays each month so it will be three weeks before I can use it again for construction debris so I figure if I have to use the pay-per-pound dump at least most of the heavy stuff is atop Brewer's fantastic Trash Mountain.

The people who built this place back when Custer was alive, OMG. All I wanna know is why? Why did they make some of their decisions? How do you explain this?

There's a setion with no insulation at all. What a bunch of crap! How do you miss that?! It's not stuff that just didn't settle either, it's clearly human-error. Oh well it's a win for me because that loose-fill insulation is awful. It's floats all over the place and leaves dust everywhere. I wear a mask and googles, but the googles get dusty and it's just nasty work. Somehow I also found time to do a 2-mile slow jog later PM, and I almost didn't but I'm glad I did because the weather was great. I read a little bit while I sat on the porch, can't beat a great summer weather-day. Too bad I worked inside all day, but at least it wasn't too hot.

I wonder when I'll finish this place? I have 177.5 logged hours into it now, but I'm rounding down a lot. I'd guess it's 40% done. Maybe? Hopefully! Demolition work is thankfully mostly done now, but not really because the living room floor and ceiling have to be replaced. That's easier to rip out than all the plaster, laths, and loose-fill insulation, though. I hope to get the bathroom done in about a week, but on my timeline that really means a couple weeks hehehe. I should not work on the place at all tomorrow so I can physically recover, but I probably will do a little work. I have to get more of my stuff from Eddington and I'm not looking forward to that at all, but it's the right thing to do.

Alright turds, all two of you who read this pathetic excuse for a website, I should get off this thing and do other stuff now. I'm pretty beat so I hope I sleep better tonight, but I probably won't. What a bunch of crap! Solution? A fourth drink hehehe.

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Thursday: 8-13-26: I'm friggin' BEAT. Are we finally selling this thing?
This gods damned carpentry is a love-hate situation. I enjoy (okay, love is a word too strong for my emotionally-impotent ass) doing the work and seeing it come to fruition, but holy jesus it's got me just about maxed-out physically. I haven't weighed my dumb, loser-ass since before raking and I was only 138 then so who knows, did I lose more weight? I've been trying to eat more calories so I'm hoping I'm no lighter. I burn so many calories my bootleg body can't keep up so I should probably start eating like a sumo-wrestler. However, I don't think I could do that without feeling like this:

HAHAHAHA. WHAT A DISGUSTING BUNCH OF CRAP!

I did get smarter, to a point, and that is an incredibly low-bar to clear. I had been eating a lot of those LEAN CUISINE things for supper, but they say LEAN in the title for a reason. 250 calories?! GTFO that's not enough! I usually eat more than just that, but not by enough. So I started getting ones that have more calories so I don't waste away to nothing.

What really kicks my ass is the 5/8 sheetrock going up to the ceiling. I almost fucked it up a couple times this week at this job:

^Photo from Monday. Since then I started the back section, and I almost lost control of a couple of the 5/8, 4x4-foot panels. I'm 14-feet in the air and if I fall I'm landing on concrete so my only wish would be to just die fast because being mangled and still alive would be torture. I smartened up and started using more of the staging, and I turned that back right corner into a lego-looking thing that I will post in the near future. Maybe? Hopeufully! I can't wait to finish that job, but it won't end because they always have other stuff for me to work on. However, this past week they've let me do that garage and I think the homeowner really wants his RV in there instead of in his driveway so no more epic shelves for his wife's 1000 pairs of shoes and 10,000 photos of the family hehehe. They are a fascinating family, and I can't even explain it. They have a pool and all summer the guy has fought his pumps and drains and shit so the pool was only available for like two days that I saw. In-ground pools are too expensive for this area, but that's just a theory since my dumb, pathetic ass is poor hehehe.

If all goes as planned we will sell the restaurant in 13 hours. 0900 tomorrow, meet up, do the deal, done. Maybe? Hopefully! I'll still be poor, but at little less poor and my wife and I can wipe off the biggest debt, a loan with the bank that we probably can't pay until 2040 if we don't sell everything as a package. I'll post about that next time, I guess, whenever that may be. Probably Saturday because my plan Sat is to have a couple drinks, sit on the porch and read, and enjoy some quiet. That won't be until later in the day, though. I have to make two trips to the dump, if possible. The trailer is already mostly loaded for trip 1 that I plan to make around 0715-0730. Then I'll do some demolition, make another trip midday-ish, then go to Eddington to get the last of my stuff. Kat is a savaant when it comes to organization so she has it all in one spot, but I want to give her some of the tools and whatnot. She even put some kitchen stuff in a tote for me. How cool is that? She's a good person, but I have to be all by myself now.

I am totally, physically beat up. After doing that garage I had to fight with this shit-show bathroom vent before I could do more sheetrock:

Connecting that thing = what a bunch of crap! I fucking hate duct work and all of that. The bathroom is a very arduous room to do, and it is impossible to move quickly. I try to be efficient, but at times I feel like I'm just working in circles so I quit and sit outside for a bit. Last night Sparkies were here until dark so I did some demolition-work until they left and I fell asleep fast but then tossed and turned a lot in the night. What a bunch of crap! I was up for good at 0515 so let's see how fast I bivouac tonight. I need to take a year off gods damn it, but I can't because two things would happen. First, I'd run out of precious... precious money. Second, I'd probably get bored after a while because I'm built to be on the move, to a point at least.

Having TV is nice, but I've only used it a few total hours in the week since it's been installed. I guess I get HBO-PLUS and Paramount, but I am too dumb to set it up. What a bunch of crap! Oh well, for now I'll just settle for the Red Sox, some news, and educational stuff like a show about the Inca empire and the silk road and some lost city in the sand. I did watch WWE Smackdown Friday last week, but I was half-drunk at the time hahahaa. I used FF and got through it quickly.

Okay, this song is fantastic but the video is a mind-fuck. Suburbia, Pet Shop Boys. This one scene where they watch TV with a dog is just... I dunno it's epic in its own weird way:

^The guy on the right looks like his chick just left him hahaha! Then the dog just leaves and it's bizarro-world, bigtime. Where did they get that couch?! My playlist is awesome and if you don't like it I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.

I guess I should go shop kitchen cabinets and do an invoice before I bivouac. I really hope this restaurant sale happens tomorrow morning becuse it's been a HUGE road-block in my worthless life. I need it gone ASAP. The new owner plans to do a bar of some kind, but I don't have the details. He's already started applying for permits and stuff so I am cautiously optimistic it will actually happen. Maybe? Hopefully!

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Sunday: 8-09-26: I got a vape-thing. Judge me and get stabbed.
Yesterday around suppertime I went to Lowe's to buy a few things for the apartment and I stopped into one of the 5,000 weed stores in this area on my way back to see what they had besides edibles. The guy suggested a little disposable vape-thing so that's what I bought. $40 after my military price and some points I guess I had on-file from prior purchases. It looks like this:

^ISLAND-TIME! It's called Frosted Flakes so all I wanna know is why? Why isn't Tony the Tiger on the package somewhere? I guess that's a bad look for Kellogg's hehehe. The guy said it doesn't taste like Frosted Flakes it's just the strain, and I'm too dumb to even wrap my head around that.

I actually didn't use it last night. I didn't sleep great, but it was the first night in a VERY long time I didn't try to sleep without an edible. I slept better than I thought I would so that's encouraging. Maybe I won't need drugs to sleep for the rest of my life? Hopefully! I was still awake in the middle of the night for an hour or two so I got up and ate a snack and surfed the Interweb a bit before I racked back out. I'll definitely try the vape-thingie tonight. Funny thing is I don't even know how to use it so I had to use Google. What a bunch of crap! I don't think I need to take much, but who knows? I sure don't want to overdo it and feel like ten pounds of shit stuffed into a five pouund bag tomorrow morning.

I did more demolition work on the apartment yesterday, and there is no easy/clean way to do that. Gods damned loose-fill insulation everywhere. I got one wall mostly done in a few hours after lunch, and I was covered in grime:

^The soon-to-be living room. I have 2/3 of the ceiling in the 12x15 room and two more walls. I should have that all done by later this month. Maybe? Hopefully!

I started mud and tape in the bathroom today, but I only worked on it for about three hours. We played cutthroat racquetball, I had a few things to do in the tax office, and I read my book for a bit. It was another hot day, close to 90, but at least now that it's later in the day the humidity is dropping some. It was stupid-humid yesterday, especially during some morning rain. What a bunch of crap! Oh, I don't think I posted it yet but I have a picture of my bedroom. I bought a $99 bed frame at Marden's Thursday evening so my bed came from Marden's. It's actually fairly comfy and the reason why I don't sleep well isn't the bed. I just have too much on my mind and I still feel guilty about leaving my wife. What a bunch of crap! I shouldn't feel guilty, but she wants my loser-ass to come back to her so of course that makes me feel badly. I wish she would tell me to fuck off forever because that would be easier.

I think I can get my bathroom done in about 10 days. Maybe? Hopefully! I still have to put a little sheetrock on the wall by the door and I haven't done any ceiling sheetrock yet, but yesterday morning I did some ceiling insulation (Safe N Sound Rockwool, 3", for noise reduction) and I started drilling and cutting vent holes for the bath exhaust fan and for the oven range hood. If I don't vent the kitchen now while the bathroom ceiling is open I can never do it. I'm using 3.25" x 10" duct and working with that duct sucks. A lot. However, it's an important part of the process. If I was more motivated I would have gone outside and finished the vent holes, but I focused on mud and tape instead and I'm glad I did.

Alright turds, all two of you who read this bootleg site, I need to call my parents and see how they're doing. Then I'll fold up some laundry (I used the restaurant washer for one last time so I didn't have to go to a laundrymat or mooch off Gavin), do some reding on vapor barrier for exterior walls, maybe listen to more 80s music, then try that vape-thing and see if I can get it right. Judge my dumb ass all you want, but if you can't sleep what would you do? At lest I'm trying something different and if it works great then that's a huge win for me in life. I don't want to smoke pot forever, but a little hit off a vape isn't too bad. Right? I don't even know anymore. What a bunch of crap!

It's not that I don't sleep at all, but I wake up in the night for an hour or two and I toss and turn a lot. A LOT. I'd rather sleep then I can have that hour or two to get more done during the day. We'll see how it goes...

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Friday: 8-07-26: I hit the sweet-spot, and it's glorious. I should be pissed, but it's all-good.
It was pretty gods damned hot today, heat advisory posted from 1300-1800, high temps in the low 90s with very high humidity. What a bunch of crap! I think I'm sort-of getting used to it, though. Maybe it's because my dumb, pathetic ass only weighs 138 so there is little body-fat to absorb the heat? It seems to me in years past the heat waves hit me harder and I became a slug, but summers never seemed so hot until recently either. We actually got a couple weeks of average or slightly below average temps and that was fan-fuckin-tastic for this time of year. Nighttime temps 50-55 with a lot of days in the 70s = PERFECT. This heat can't last too much longer anyway because we are losing summer in a hurry now. Days getting shorter, football preseson looms, etc.

I worked all morning at that garagr job, and I was going to take a couple pictures before I decided I can do that next week. I'm putting in 20-25 hrs a week there, and I'm putting in a few hours a week at the tax office with the rest here at my new apt. I actually didn't work on the apartment much today because I had other stuff I wanted to do. Plus it was fuckin' HOT. I cleaned here some and went through some of my old stuff. I'm low-key looking for my birth certificate so I can get a new passport, and I have no idea where the thing is. What a bunch of crap! I have no vacations planned, but I would like to help Phil move to AK next month if I can pull it off. That will certainly NOT be a vacation, it will be work, but without a passport it ain't happening. I know I had my birth certificate in 2011 when I got my first passport, but my life is a shit-show so who knows where it is? What a bunch of crap!

Hey, as an added bonus I found $220 cash in with some other papers. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I was going to buy the Las Palapas Burrito with $20 of it, but then I decided it was too hot and I never left. Instead I cleaned some and sat on the porch and read Stephen King for a while. That was fucking awesome, and for a while I hit the sweet-spot. What is that exactly? I dunno, can't really define it, but in general it's when I get a little drunk but not totally wasted. It doesn't always happen after a couple drinks, but tonight it definitely did.

^This porch is 100% awesome, and as an added bonus that window on the left is my bedroom window and since it's so warm I can leave the window open and put on YouTube music. After I read for a while (Black House) I ate a frozen dinner, I read some more, it was peaceful and quiet, and it was glorious. I put in music and just sat there in peace, and that's what I've needed for years but I never got it because I turned my life into a total shit-show. Hell, if I hadn't pulled the plug on the disaster reastaurant (we would have needed another investor, but I could have pushed for one if I wanted) I'd be working there right now FOR NO FUCKING PAY. It's evening so people would be coming in for karaoke, we'd probably have a server or cook who was complaining or making some dumb mistake, and this new life is infinitely better. I even feel less badly about leaving Kat, and I'll explain right now.

Last fall I bought a $5,000 generator for the house, we had it wired about a month later by Madden Generators (Dakota Madden, did a great job), but we never got propane tanks or hooked up gas so it's brand new, never used at all. Kat sold it today for $4300, but she couldn't unhook some wire shit so she asked for my help. Think she offered my loser-ass any money from the sale? NOPE! SELFISH MUCH?! I FUCKIN' PAID FOR THAT GENERATOR, 100% ON MY TAB, ON THE LOWE'S CARD AND IT'S STILL NOT PAID OFF WITH SPECIAL NO-INTEREST FINANCING. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

From the CAPS you could infer I'm mad, but I'm not. I'm actually a little relieved because that's one of the many reasons why I pulled the plug on that shit-show life. I give, I give, I give, and I don't get back what I give. In fairness Kat did put $1500 into the Mad Kat account after I asked her for some help because we still owe a SHITLOAD of back-debt and bills. So basically she sold the generator I paid for, and she didn't even offer to help with debt, I had to ask. She said she has health issues and her husband left her so she needs the money. Funny thing is she sure could work 70 hours a week when we had the restaurant. Fuck that.

I'm seriously not mad at all, and I'm actually happier because it proves my wife was more selfish than I thought I just didn't realize it for all these years. So I sat on the porch at my new, very unfinished apartment, and I read a book then listened to one of the best 80s music playlists of all-time, and now here I am about three drinks in and still in the sweet-spot. I've been ripping out awesome artists like The Pet Shop Boys, Icehouse, Crowded House, Ah-Ha, Sisters of Mercy, and even a really cool Chris DeBurg song called Don't Pay the Ferryman. That one is new to my YouTube playlist, but I've heard it before (100.3WKIT probably) and it's awesome. YouTube makes the best playlists, but the ads do suck a bit. When I get more precious... precious money I should pay for the ad-free plan.

I can't stress enough how glorious it was to sit on that deck for 2-3 hours this evening. I really needed it, and it was incredibly peaceful. I know soon enough it will be too cold to enjoy that little porch so I plan to use it as much as possible while it's still summer. After yesterday this place feels even more like my new home, and I'm sorry to you Kat if you read this because I don't hate you at all, I'll always love you, but I did what I had to do so I could be me again. Spectrum came and set up Interweb, and I now have TV and I watched some last night before I bivouaced and it was fantastic. Red Sox, some news, rack out and sleep poorly. I wish I could sleep better so I need more edibles or perhaps something I can smoke. I don't want to be a pot-head, but I need to fuckin' sleep. I know it was 100 degrees last night so that didn't help either. What a bunch of crap! The little gummies I take now don't work as well as Andrea's edibles, but I can't ask Kat's older sister to make me edibles anymore because she probably hates me for leaving her sister. Even worse is I'm her neighbor, but at least I rarely see her and Bill, her husband. I actually like them both, but it's awkward and I don't blame them if they hate me since I was the one who left.

Since I have TV now I can watch WWE Smackdown! I feel badly watching it without Kat, but I watched it for years without her. I haven't watched any TV in weeks so last night I watched some and tonight I'll watch some before I bivouac. Who knows, I might come back here and write more? It's too hot to sleep haha. Still early, though. Crowded House plays Don't Dream It's Over, and this song is 100% great. One of the 80s best, really. Sadly from what I've heard Crowded House only has two good songs, this one and another called Something so Strong. Other bands like the Pet Shop Boys and Icehouse have a lot of good ones. Ah-Ha has a few great ones as well, but of course my all-time top two are still Def Leppard and Ratt.

The Psychadellic Furs are really great, too. Heaven just came on, but a while ago The Ghost in You played and I think that one is their best. GOD BLESS THE 80s! (There is no god. What a bunch of crap!)

I really like my new home, and being able to rip out 80s tunes is a huge bonus. Gavin, other good friends, my biological family (who have supported my dumb ass a lot lately by being encouraging), and 1980s music might have saved my worthless life. I wish I was joking, but I'm on my 4th drink and it's time to be brutally honest.

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Wednesday: 8-05-26: Bathroom progress, back to the sort-of routine.
I'm sort-of, mostly back into the routine I had before blueberry-raking 2026. Work some at that garage job, work a little in the tax office, and work as much as I can here at my soon-to-be (hopefully) badass apartment. Sit on the porch and read a little and use the computer in the evening for a bit before I bivouac, and there is a lot of reading and researh to do for the place that I tackle later in the day or very early AM before I go work at that garage. This place still needs a lot more work. A LOT. The bathroom is the most challenging room because I have to ensure my venting is correct before I do the ceiling. Plus it will have the laundry-room and the breaker-box is on one of the walls near the bathroom door. There are quite a few angles, nooks, etc. I did start using the shower a couple days ago so that's a huge step forward for my loser-ass!

Lovely view into what will be the kitchen hehehe. I can get some privacy, but I really don't even care... whether or not I care. I obviously don't want to piss off the neighbors with my pasty white ass so I put a scrap piece of tarp up over the window where the toilet will be, and it's private enough. It's a luxury shower after using the dinky little bootleg thing upstairs on the mid-level. I still use the toilet up there, though. I think I won't have a working toilet down here in my apartment for a couple more weeks. Maybe? Hopefully!

^This will be the laundry closet, and off to the left not in the photo will be the shower and bathroom vanity. The pic might not show right because my setup is bootleg when I turn the phone for a vertical photo, and I am too dumb to fix it. What a bunch of crap! Before I finish the bathroom I have to do three vents. First is the oven range-hood (microwave) vent that must run through the bathroom ceiling. Second is the bathroom exhaust fan. Finally is the dryer vent, and since there are double-walls the math on the studs taxes extra precious... precious time. I have it figured out now, though. Maybe? Hopefully!

^This is my sort-of kitchen now, and eventually it'll be the living room. The bathroom is behind the wall on the right, and you can barely see the back of the tub/shower. I bought one of those dish-putter-inner things at WalMart a couple days ago, and it took me longer than it should to find it. I almost quit and just ordered from Amazon hahaha. No wonder so many people just use Amazon these days; sometimes finding stuff at the store is a bunch of crap, and the employees there don't give a shit they'd rather push around those bootleg carts for people who shop online. I should stop shopping at WalMart, but I hate going to Bangor and I'm sure shopping anywhere sucks just as badly. Kohl's only has dumb crap and a lot of expensive pillows. Too many hehehe. I still paid $60 for one last month that I don't even use for sleeping. What a bunch of crap! I do like it to prop my head up when I read or play my dumb little Wooduko game before I bivouac, though. If all goes as planned at this time tomorrow I can watch actual TV because Spectrum is coming to set up Interweb and TV tomorrow. Oh Jesus, hell ya!

I'm still using paper plates, but I have started using real silverware more often than not. A major upgrade! That sink area was also my bootleg little medical-zone because I had another armpit boil/tumor that looked really ugly so I put the medical alcohol right to it plus the Neosporin. That fuckin' Neosporin was $7.49 for a tiny little tube OMG ALL I WANNA KNOW IS WHY? WHY DOES IT COST THAT MUCH?! What a bunch of crap! I guess it's worth it because my boil-thing settled down and I feel okay. I also took a bunch of asprin. A real doctor would stand agape looking at my dumb ass, but I was trying at all costs to avoid a trip to the doc. I am such a shit-show it's ridiculous.

I should retire from blueberry raking because obviously the raking-motion and the sweat causes issues there, and it sucks. It's a bunch of crap! How did this shit start happening? That's what I get for becoming borderline old hehehe. I think hot weather and sweat is the catalyst for the irritations. It wasn't really hot during raking most days, but even unlimited sun and 80 in the field feels like 100. What a bunch of crap! Saturday felt really hot so that must have made it worse.

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Sunday: 8-02-26: Raking season kinda fail?
Every year for the past few years Gavin and I finish raking and think our career is over, but then Cliff keeps doing it and we are gluttons for punishment so we roll on down to the midcoast for another ride. This one feels like the last ride, though, at least the way we've done it for well over 20 years. I don't think I want to camp out for an entire week and mostly rake each day. It's too hard and I suck.

This season was a bit of a bust. It wasn't horrible, I'd give it a C- on the classic A-F grading scale. However, we both made less money than we wanted and money is a huge part of the entire gig. We both hoped to earn $2000, but the raking was too sparse and arduous so I "only" made $1430 this season. What a bunch of crap! Gavin made a bit more because he stayed longer today, but he fell well short of his goal as well.

The field in Palermo is beautiful, and the area is stunning:

We had a crew of five, and not all five of us were there at the same time very often. Cliff, the boss, raking like a true badass at age 76 and WITH A BLOOD CLOT AND STAGE TWO CANCER HOLY FUCKING SHIT. He just finished chemo for the cancer a few weeks ago, too. That guy is a wonder. He's basically awesome, and he's the best to work for as well. Very fair, easy-going, and he seems genuinely excited to be on a blueberry field.

Phil is a legend and has raked for Cliff since the beginning of time. Of course Gavin and I are doing it every year, and this season Bill showed up to rake some. Bill used to have some kind of record for raking a ton. Scratch that, at 300+ buckets raked in one day, 25 pound buckets (I guess), that's close to four tons raked IN ONE DAY. Epic. That's all but impossible now with machines raking the best fields and a lot of fields just gone fallow or turned to housing. The most I've ever done in my life is 83 boxes, 22lb boxes, so that's not even one ton. What a bunch of crap! However, I was certainly capable of doing well over a ton in one day but I've never had that great raking and I've never put in a 12-hour day trying to set a record I don't care about.

^Not the best quality, but that's Phil on the left, Cliff raking at center, and Gavin coming out of his row to be done for the day.

I'm 50 years old and I was the youngest raker on the crew this year. OMG! Kids don't rake anymore, I guess, at least not for Cliff. Cliff would tell stories of the bus picking up kids and dropping them off in the blueberry fields for most of August back when it was a huge industry. Gavin is a year older than me, Phil and Bill are 54, and of course the legend himself is well past retirement age.

Raking is harder for me now, and I feel like I keep myself in pretty good physical shape still. I started to get another armpit boil so I had to shut it down today after only 7 boxes. I was beat up, I didn't sleep very well, and I'm a pussy. What a bunch of crap! I don't enjoy raking like I used to because it's fuckin' hard and because there is no good raking anymore. I'd rather get less pay and be able to rake more boxes per hour than to scratch around in mediocre/poor raking and feel like I'm not progressing. Cliff adjusted the pay way up to account for the crap raking, but it doesn't work for me as well. Not his fault at all, he's great and goes above and beyond, but the best raking is long gone, a distant memory, and I do really miss that.

I figure raking cost us each $300 so at least, after expenses, we made over $1000. I could only average about 4 boxes per hour so $40/hr isn't horrible, but really it's closer to $30 after all the expenses. Gas, camp fee, ice, etc. There is enjoyment from camping, but even that's not as much fun for me as it used to be. What a bunch of crap!

I told Cliff if he needed me next year I'd rake, but only for a few days and not for most of an entire week like we've been doing since probably 2003. I told him I could help one more day this season as well, but I don't think I'm needed thanks to Bill raking and thanks to Cliff being a machine. His goal for the 15-arce parcel ws 20,000 pounds and he achieved that today. The field is 80% done as far as real-estate covered so I think he will get around 24k, above goal, so I'm happy for him. Sadly I only raked 143 boxes all season (25lb boxes now, not 22) so I think that's my lowest total since I was a kid raking a little for Art. What a bunch of crap! We do work less now than we did before, though. We're old so we take naps when we get back to camp hahahaha!

For the first time ever we camped at Lake St. George in Liberty, just a few miles from the Palermo field, and that's a nice spot. I like it more than Mic Mac, but I hate how close Route 3 is to some of the sites. All night I heard vehicles and some of them are loud. Even with some booze and edible in me I never slept great. What a bunch of crap! I took a nap today when I got back around noon because I was wiped out. Then I worked on this place some in between unpacking and settling back in. I used my shower in the apartment for the first time. Oh Jesus, hell ya!

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