(Last updated: 1-09-2026)

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR ME AS A PERSON THEN I ADVISE YOU TO TURN AWAY NOW. CLICK THE 'X' IN THE TOP CORNER OF YOUR SCREEN! RUN, FLEE, ESCAPE. IF YOU ARE A FAMILY MEMBER THEN YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ENTER BEYOND THIS POINT!

Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.

If you want to know who the hell I am and why I spent my hard-earned $21.99 to register this domain and to share my thoughts with the world then you can click here to find out. I have no update schedule so if you don't like it then you can ggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttt oooooooouuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt!

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Why are you still here? Chances are pretty damn good that I WILL insult you in some fashion if you choose to continue beyond this point. The purpose of this site is to entertain me, and I am often entertained at the expense of others. Therefore, prepare to be slandered. A lot. It's still not to late to leave with your feelings intact!

Friday, 1-09-26: This fuckin' roof...
All I wanna know is why? Why does the roof at the restaurant gotta be totally pwned? It has several leaks, and two of them are in mission-critical spots that might prevent us from opening until the problems are resolved. This winter has been BRUTAL so far, and over the last few days we've had some "warmer" weather that should be a win. Sadly it's a loss because all the snow and ice on the roof is melting and leaking right into the restaurant space. One huge leak is where we plan to install a brand new beer cooler and the other leak is by the new stage where thousand of dollars' worth of TVs and audio/lights will be located. What a bunch of crap!

I called and texted the landlord and got no reply so we are just taking matters into our own hands. Kat put out feelers on Failbook and we have some help. Two guys were up there for several hours shovelling and trying to get it cleared because there will be NO repairs with snow and ice everywhere. FUCK YOU WINTER. So I had to get there by 0800 and we get up early so that's fine, but not really because we've been working later so I don't want to roll out at 0730 when I could be doing a little house-cleaning, checking emails, and doing yoga before we leave. I like to allocate a few minutes for the dogs as well so they can run around, and they totally live for it. We don't even deserve dogs and I am embarassed we have them. I would 100% advocate for re-homing them, but Tiger Lily is 9.5 years old, Groot is a bit over 8, so that's not fair. They need each other and who would take them? If someone offered and it was the right fit I would be all over it, but my awesome wife would be pissed so nevermind.

After our dogs check out (which will be incredibly sad by the way) I don't want dogs anymore, not unless our life gets really easy and I actually have precious... precious time.

I'm actually pretty fucked right now. 2026 is off to a bad start, and it needs to get better or else I will totally lose the will to live and that is dangerous this time of year when, on most days, I can get wasted and go freeze in the woods. Well tonight I can't since it's 42 degrees with rain showers, but that is far from the norm and that will make the restaurant flood even more. Fuck my dog-shit life.

I have too many things going on so I am accomplishing nothing in a hurry. I can't focus anymore so I need a day off, but how can I get one when we have contrators and helpers coming tomorrow and Sunday? If I don't take a day off soon I might snap and end up in a mental ward or dead so that will be my priority maybe not in the next few days but possibly within the next week or so. Maybe? Hopefully. I fucking hate my life again and that is very dangerous.

I did mostly finish the bar-top:

^Very plain-looking now, but it should look badass with stain, records, CDs, and engravings. The bar-rail is only tacked into place for now. Bar is mostly level now so that's a big win as compared to the first one from five years ago. I didn't do that bar-top, I was focused elsewhere, but I would have screwed it up if I had done it.

I just don't have precious... precious time. I was wasted like Doc-J and 8-Ball from Full Metal Jacket by around 1730 today. I was supposed to quit at 1600 but there was too much going on and that really pissed me off. I got back on the roof and it was 40 degrees but very windy so I got cold. Then I had to do a showing at a vacant space in that plaza and there is no heat there so that was cold so I was in bad shape before I left. I needed to warm up and get food in me. I actually got dizzy anf felt a little sick as I left. I got home a bit before Kat, I made a coffee brandy and milk with my food, and she got home and gave me shit for having a drink and that was the last thing I fuckin' needed. Not like I'm an alcoholic how about a fuckin' thank you for working for free for HER restaurant. It's not mine, I don't even want it, I am just doing it because I feel guilty that I took it away from her and from the other loyal staff just over a year ago. We had staff stay right until the actual last-minute how cool is that? A couple of them quit before we closed so they are NOT getting rehired even though they've asked to come back. HAHAHA.

I even sold off most of my ownership so I am "only" going to be a 17% owner and I'll sell another 14% to drop down to 3% if I can find another investor. I'm not even joking either. I will help there a lot, but it will be on my terms and if I get put on the schedule too often I will just leave. By leave I mean my ass is GONE. Maybe alive, maybe dead, that remains to be seen, but I will not live in Penobscot County anymore that is for sure. I'll start over somewhere else and probably somewhere warmer.

To be clear I do NOT want that to happen, but it will have to happen if I don't get my life-schedule back on track. I don't even need much in this life just a little time here and there for me and for the things I like. Racquetball, a gym, deer hunting, maybe read a book, good enough.

Another problem is this garage-job that I won't finish until much later this year. I accidentally fooled the homeowner into thinking I'm a good carpenter even though one wall is 1.5 inches out of square on NEW CONSTRUCTION. What a bunch of crap! He's already taking about hiring me for other stuff, and I gotta shut that shit down because moving forward the tax business and that restanrant will keep me plenty busy. I'm just trying to get one office-room done, but it keeps taking longer than I want because I'm so busy. I really do hate my life again.

^Not much left now; I was going to start the floor but there was a leak from the exterior deck area off to the right, far wall, under the heat pump. As I said earlier this winter has been a shit-show. There aren't gutters yet so that will help, but I have to pull up some deck boards to seal it better. I am pretty sure I know what went wrong, but bye bye a couple more precious... precious hours dealing with that stupid shit. It's my own fault and I made my own luck. What a bunch of crap!

Via did the painting and she's a good painter, but she's not very reliable. She said she'd come at 1000 yesterday and I didn't see her until 1515. I guess going to karaoke at the Pour House was more important for her the night prior and I should fire her ass for that, but I'm down to my last few days needing her help there so I'm just going to let it slide. She's a good person she's just busy and I need her more for the soon-to-be restaurant anyway.

I REALLY want to take tomorrow off, but I can't. What a bunch of crap! I'm thinking the next day off I might get will be in a week, and even that is quite unlikely. I still have to set up the tax office as well so I am just totally pwned and it's really not fair. I should quit everything and just go get a "real" M-F job working 9-5 or something like that. I wouldn't even need to make a lot of money just enough to get by. Having two days off each week would be a gift from the gods who do not really exist.

^I am 50 years old and bad at life. Whose fault is that?! Where's my psychologist? Oh he's in Costa Rica now and he is a she. Fantastic human being, but an example of how fucked we all are as a society...

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Wednesday, 1-07-26: A vortex of thoughts, but eerily calm right now.
I don't sleep well unless I eat a pot-cookie (or some form of edible) so that sucks. A lot. I was tired a couple nights ago so I bivouaced without one, but I was up 1.5 hours later and I couldn't get back to sleep without one. What a bunch of crap! I generally can't sleep because my mind is this:

^From Poltergeist hehe. Everything just flies around all the time inside my bootleg and undersized brain. Maybe this is a better image/meme:

You can't turn off a vortex, but you can escape it by finding some calm. There is always calm around but often times it's hidden and needs to be sought out.

I'm trying to compare my thoughts now as compared to 25 years ago (half my life) but I can't. I don't think I was this scattered, no way, but maybe I was to some degree? I think a major part is I had less to worry about. I don't really worry about money anymore (As Pet Shop Boys plays in the background, Opportunities Let's Make Lots of Money. HAHAHAHA!) but I worry about my wife. She needs a heart surgery on the 23rd of this month and she's scared. I've been with her for a few other surgeries since we've been together, and she's never ever seemed scared before one.

The surgery came up really unexpectedly, as I'm sure many surgeries do. This isn't "Your knee is pwned let's plan for a new one.", though. Not cosmetic, nope it's the ticker. She had a "Stress test" that she didn't do so well on a couple weeks ago so they found a partial blockage that needs to get un-blocked in a hurry. Hopefully it is a quick fix and they don't have to do anything drastic. The technology is amazing because they have cameras and stuff that can go into veins. Amazing yet sad because we are so creative yet our medical system is a total train-wreck.

Speaking of medical stuff, I have my first VA appointment next week at 0830. Part of me wants to bail on it because I feel fine and it uses up precious... precious time I could be using to work on the restaurant. However, I won't bail on it because I need to get my loser-ass into their system and who knows, I might suffer a really bad injury that would cost a ton if I didn't get set up with the VA. I would rather die than be all maimed, but some asshole might find my mangled bootleg body and try to save it before I could stop it.

I'm hoping when we finish the restaurant remodel and I finish the huge garage job that I started in 2024 the thought-vortex will ease up some. Now I'm always trying to solve little carpentry "puzzles" in my mind before I rack out. For that garage, how can I drop the soon-to-be stairs through a weird closet that has an unusual turn? How can I get the bar-top at Mad Kat just right? What supplies do I need to grab at Lowe's tomorrow? It never ends until I get a little baked and dull it down then fall asleep. What a bunch of crap!

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Friday, 1-02-26: I'm tired of the "Chinese Fire Drill." that is my bootleg life.
I had a rough day today. I just got overwhelmed because I had too much going on. What a bunch of crap! Not a great start to 2026, but hey at least yesterday wasn't horrible. It truly felt like my life is a Chinese Fire Drill today. I don't even know what one of those is so I should find a meme for this bootleg site that no one ever reads...

Well I just accidentally closed out of this turd program so bye bye a few paragraphs that I can never get back. What a bunch of crap! I was writing about how 2025 ended pretty swell when my awesome wife and I decided to play SNES Classic, Super Mario World. We had our feet up and it was glorious even though the final-boss level in world 3 is FUCKIN' BULLSHIT.

^We died. A lot. Then we bivouaced well before midnight. I woke up at 1203 to take a piss and I didn't even care... whether or not I cared that it was now 2026. Why would I care? It's just one step closer to my ultimate demise because no one lives forever and living forever would REALLY suck.

I need to stop doing everything all the gods damned time. I can't stop being so busy, but on some level I know how I just don't actually do it. The fact my bootleg life is a Chinese Fire Drill is my own friggin' fault. I'm really struggling to do both the garage-job and the restaurant remodel. I knew it would be tough, but my helper flaked out a bit so that really sucked. Thankfully she was back today and she crushed it so we are almost ready for paint. Sadly it's been COLD. Like, stupid-cold and these cold snaps do put me in a worse mood because it sucks when you step outside and your entire face goes numb.

^39 degrees INSIDE and with a heat pump running when it's -5 outside. What a bunch of crap! Heat pumps kinda suck when it's really cold. Thankfully by the end of next week we should get to around 40 for a few days and that will seem glorious compared to where we've been. I'll put in extra work at that garage next week because having it loom over my head is really all-bad for my loser-ass. I'm sick of doing 25 different things in one day. It's not boring, that's for sure, but it's overwhelming.

All the brutally-cold days and snow so far this winter have absolutely negatively impacted my work-life balance. I've wasted precious... precious hours shovelling snow, scraping frost, digging out the trailer, etc. Gotta warm up the vehicles longer when it's -7, too. Frost, wind, power-outages, fuck you Maine this time of year. I don't think living here in the winter makes any sense at all, but there is no viable other option in the ear future, especially with the tax business still gaining steam.

Alright turds, all two of you who read this bootleg crap, I'm getting tired and my edible is kicking in. I wish I didn't have to eat a pot-cookie to help me sleep but when I turned my dog-shit life into a Chinese Fire Drill that is the price I had to pay. Can't sleep anymore without one because I made poor life decisions. What a bunch of crap!

I was just thinking I should listen to The Pet SHop Boys It's Alright before I rack out. That song fits in some weird way right now...

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