(Last updated: 1-24-2026)

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Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.

If you want to know who the hell I am and why I spent my hard-earned $21.99 to register this domain and to share my thoughts with the world then you can click here to find out. I have no update schedule so if you don't like it then you can ggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttt oooooooouuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt!

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Why are you still here? Chances are pretty damn good that I WILL insult you in some fashion if you choose to continue beyond this point. The purpose of this site is to entertain me, and I am often entertained at the expense of others. Therefore, prepare to be slandered. A lot. It's still not to late to leave with your feelings intact!

Saturday, 1-24-26: Okay, now I'm "mostly" ready for tax season after a kinda-day off. WTF IS ONE DRIVE?!
I stayed home all day with my awesome wife, but it wasn't really a day her and I hung out all the time. She had karaoke files to update and stuff to work on for the restaurant, and this is her only about 24 hours after her heart surgery from yesterday:

^Yeah, women > men. Most women are nuts and drive me crazy, but I wouldn't want to live without them in this world. I barely want to live in this world anyway, and Microsoft "One Drive" just about made me want to check out earlier today. All I wanna know is why? Why do they basically force that stupid shit on people? I guess it's some weather thing where your data lives in the clouds, but I do not want my precious... precious data in the sky. I would prefer it stay buried in an old coffee can in the yard or something like that hehe.

I bought a new tax-office computer, and I REALLY did not want to do that. However, I knew I had to do that because the one I have now is roughly 8 years old and that is ancient for what I do. My older one was getting too slow and that seems hard to fathom since I only do taxes, use the web some, and update spreadsheets on the thing. I do have a ton of client files, though. Sadly when I put all those files on this new HP computer they also ended up in the cloud on this shitty thing called ONE DRIVE. Sadly I did not know this until a couple hours later when I was on email and it said my hotmail was too full. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

So I poked around some and I realized my new compter connected to the Microsoft sky-god who does not really exist so I had to find my way into that bootleg thing and delete EVERYTHING. I wanted to cancel all things Microsoft, but Apple is just as bad so there is no viable good option. Gods damn it! Plus if I cancel Microsoft I lose Hotmail, and I've had that email forever and I still need it. Fucking asteriod, where are you please come put me out of my misery.

It's FUCKING COLD. Like, stupid-cold. Oh, we have a foot of snow coming tomorrow night lasting into Monday. My wife is mad at me because I told her I'm not all-in on the restaurant and putting her speakers up was NOT my priority Thursday. She said I broke a pinky-promise to do it and I don't even remember doing a pinky-promise because those are for teenage girls and they are FUCKING LAME. However, I probably did it but I wish I hadn't done it and who knows maybe I really didn't do it? Sometimes women remember things wrong. Men do as well because humans suck, but women do it more and I'll die on that hill. She said she was all mad at me because I didn't do her speakers, but fuck that I was too busy working FOR FREE on her gods damned restaurant that I only half-want to be involved with.

We still have these dumbass birds and I'm the guy who has to give them food and water, at least for a few days. I should just roast them all and we have supper for a few days, but I'm not quite that demented. It's around -30 with wind chills so we had ice in the shower earlier. Literal ice, too. It looked like a little shot glass from a slow drip, but the pipes never froze and I thank the gods who do not exist for that. I realized the problem, and it's kinda dumb. I boxed in all the plumbing from below last summer and early fall so cold air can hang out in that space. Solution? Move one ceiling tile so some heat can get there hehehe.

Getting the birds was FUCKING STOOPID. Getting the dogs was kinda dumb, too. However, the birds were the bigger of the two. Sometimes I do love the dogs, but mostly I wish they lived happily somewhere else. I love seeming them run around and play in the snow, but they eat shit so that sucks. A lot. Not only do they eat their own poop-sicles but they also eat deer and other animal feces that they find all over the yard. What a bunch of crap! It was too cold to even play with them outside today.

I will work at least some at the restaurant tomorrow and I'm hoping to play racquetball. I got the new tax-office compter set up this PM so I can bring that to the office tomorrow. I have in-person clients Tuesday wow! I actually worked on a couple tax returns today, but they were easy. I had to get the software working and then I found out that Microsoft is evil for the bogus "One Drive" crap they pulled. I might actually just hire a computer-person to take care of my software stuff once a year because it has nearly passed my AARP-eligible ass up. The technology evolves was faster than I do. What a bunch of crap!

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Friday, 1-23-26: A stent, a desk, cold and snow.
My awesome wife had heart surgery this morning, and we had to get to Northern Light (EMMC) by 0530 so she could get checked in and prepped.  We weren't sure what to expect, but the vibe we got beforehand is no open-heart surgery, camera and amazing technology through a vein in her arm, stent, bye bye.  We knew there was a chance the camera might show something worse, though.  Thankfully the camera showed what was expected, a partially blocked artery, and they did a stent and had her in recovery by 0900.  OMG FAST!  That is a huge relief because I have been very worried about her.

We don't really know why she had such a blockage in her artery because she's not fat.  Genetics?  My wife has terrible medical luck.  What a bunch of crap!  I can't imagine what it feels like to be less than 100% pretty much all the time.  I'm really never 100%, but I'd say compared to her I'm lucky.  We are close to the same age, only five months apart, and yes I married an older woman hehehe.  I got the hot karaoke chick back in 2014 and here we are on this crazy roller-coaster life that barely makes sense at times.

I knew my awesome wife would be in prep and surgery for a while so I took care of a few quick errands.  Off to Lowe's to buy pellets then to the restaurant office to set up the tax desk then quickly to that garage job to ensure it's ready for extreme winter cold.  He only has one heat pump in that area and it won't get the job done when we hit -30 with wind chills.  Yup, temps are plummeting right now and by tomorrow morning we are around -5 with bigtime wind.  Stays bitter cold all weekend with high temps not getting to 10 and lows -10 or so.  Then we get 8-12" of snow Sunday night and Monday from a HUGE winter storm that is crushing most of the continental USA. Fuckin' winter.  What a bunch of crap!

^Bookcase unit almost done, but those bottom sliding doors have given be a little grief.  I only have a few hours left there, but I can't quite seem to finish.  I get pulled in too many directions gods damn it.  Right now this is my life:

Yesterday kinda sucked because Kat was mad at me for not helping her put up speakers.  I was epic busy, I had a few things to finish at that garage, then Jason came up with his worker to do our A/V.  Jason is REALLY good at his job, but he's coming from 1.5-hours away one-way so his time with us is very valuable.  He needed my help pulling wire and setting up cameras so I didn't have time to help my wife with her speakers.  She got PISSED OFF and was all mad because I broke a promise, but I don't give a fuck I don't even get paid helping at that restaurant I'm just doing it because I feel guilty about how it ended just over a year ago.  I don't even remember promising to help her put up speakers either but I'm sure I did because I forget things.  A lot.

So I took most of today off to hang out with my wife.  It was nice just being home with her.  I'll stay home tomorrow as well and I'll try to get set up for tax season.  When Kat was off-limits at the hospital I read some tax updates so I can be more prepared for next week.  I have several clients coming starting Tuesday morning, and with Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill" there are lots of tax changes that will impact most if not all of my clients.  Most of the changes should be really good for them, but it does make a bit more work for my loser-ass.  Hey, I'll probably make a few more bucks as I find "extra" deductions and credits for people.  Maybe?  Hopefully!

I was watching the Celtics - Nets game that just ended in a total epic failer for the Celtics.  They blew a late lead and lost to the 10-30 Nets.  What a bunch of crap!  They actually were losing for most of the game, they came back and seemed to have it on lockdown, and then they melted down.  No excuse.  I hope Tatum can get back before the playoffs.  Celtics are good, but not great. Wait nevermind they didn't lose they found magic to tie it up for double OT, but I'm all done time for bed bye bye.

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Saturday, 1-17-26: Tax season?
I need to get my ass ready for tax season ASAP.  I did all my training courses already, I bought my software, but the office isn't set up and I don't have my desk in place yet.  What a bunch of crap!  I need to install the 2025 Drake program and brush up on updates to that comprehensive program.  I really like Drake and I've used it for all my 8 or 9 years being on my own, but it's doubled in price.  I guess everything has doubled in price since then.  What a bunch of crap!  I just got my spreadsheet ready for 2026.  That Excel spreadsheet will track income and expenses as well as returning vs. new clients.  I have all this data yet I never really use it hahaha.  One day when I'm not so busy I'll be glad I have it, though.  Maybe?  Hopefully!

Will it be a good tax season?  Last year was my best one of all-time, and I didn't have the stress of being a landlord or owning a restaurant for the first time, ever.  However, our house was a mess with no kitchen so I did have the stress of getting this house put back together and that was a MASSIVE task.  Rewarding for sure, but tons of work. This house isn't even done yet, but it's good enough until the spring.  I would like to set up more of the gym before spring, but we'll see.  I don't really need to lift weights since I've been so active, but once the carpentry wraps up both at that garage job and at the restaurant I'll spend more time at the desk.

I do plan to set up the desk this coming week, and I've done it several times so it doesn't take too long.  Putting everything else in place will take longer, but some of the same screws are in the wall that were there 13 months ago so I can just reuse them for the same photos that were there before.  Some family stuff, some Navy stuff, a couple credentials, good enough.  It's really funny my office is going BACK to the restaurant hahaha!  My life is totally bonkers and I don't know if it's good or bad, but lately it's been more good than bad.  This past week wasn't too shabby and we made a lot of progress on the restaurant.  We really crushed it today, and it was a very good day overall.  The kids all showed up at the restaurant to help, and we got the entire new beer cooler set up in only about two total hours.  OH JESUS HELL YA!  Remy was there with the laser-etcher for the bar, Via painted, Katie cleaned, and we really made it happen.

^New beer cooler!  Contractors did repair the roof, but they got cut short due to snow.  We didn't get a blizzard, but I bet we got 4-5" overall and it just ended this evening.  Plow guy just came a little while ago so bye bye $100 for that.  We have a BIG dooryard and a long driveway so that price is totally fine.  We split it with Debbie and Dillon so it's really $50 each time for us.  I figure if we average 12 plows a year $600 is worth my ass not having to deal with it.  I don't really know what the average will be, but I don't think I'm too far off.  Including today it's been 6 total plows with winter about half-over so that tracks.  We've had several "storms" that have dumped between 3-6" but nothing HUGE yet.  I hope when we open Mad Kat next month winter is very close to over, and by later next month that's usually what happens.  March snow doesn't last and it melts off the roads REALLY fast.

Not only did I help with the beer cooler but I also got the floor done in the front bathroom, I got a huge load of trash to the dump, I got supplies at Lowe's including our new water heater for the place, and we were still home by 1630.  Roads were pretty bad for the drive home because of the snow, but I didn't mind going 25-30MPH in a 40MPH zone for most of the drive since I had the trailer on and I wasn't really in a hurry.

So for the past 3 nights I've had 2 or 3 drinks, I've updated this bootleg site that almost no one ever reads, I've watched some sports, and I've listened to some 80s tunes.  What's wrong with that?  NOTHING!  I've bivouaced early-ish, and tonight will be no different since I feel tired and it's just now 2200 and taps, taps, lights out.  I have the Seahawks vs. 49ers NFL playoff game on.  I was watching the Celtics, but that wasn't even a game since they DEMOLISHED Atlanta final score 132-106.  The Patriots play at 1500 tomorrow, but I won't watch much of that game due to family stuff.

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Friday, 1-16-26: Just finished work e-mails at 2215.
All I wanna know is why?  Why am I working still when it's 2215 and it's past taps, taps, lights out? I had to reply to an email about our work tee shirts and I had to send an email to the liquor inspector.  Get this, Brewer isn't having a town meeting about our business until Feb 10th.  WTF, over?  We did the applications and paid over a month ago.  Fucking bullshit Christmas no one does anything for a couple weeks and it gets all jammed up.  I FUCKING HATE CHRISTMAS.  I fuckin' hate this time of year in general, but we did get a win when we had relatively warm air for a few days with high temps around 40.

I gotta bust out a bunch of stuff at that restaurant this weekend.  I haven't done too much there this week because I had to give that huge garage job one final massive push.  It was a very productive week at that garage, and the "warm" weather helped.  I got stairs in place leading into what will be their office and hangout room, painting in that room is done, bookcase unit is done and half-stained, and most of the recessed lights are installed.  Outlets are live, all-good.  Via finished the painting Tuesday and did all the cleaning and staining today, and it all looks really good.  Homeowner brought his daughter and grandkids up this morning for a tour and it was nice seeing how amazed they all were.  Now that they have access from the house they can all see it.

^Will look A LOT different when it's all stained. The Dark Walnut is great so far.

I plan to finish what I can next week then tap out until the second part of April.  However, if the restaurant opening gets delayed I might work a little more on the second room at that garage-job.  However, I already have five tax appointments with lots of other clients reaching out so that last sentence is probably not happening.  My first tax appointment is Tuesday, Jan 27th and it will only snowball from there.  My ass will be BUSY for the next three months, but I think there is a good chance to bank more than a few bucks.  Mad Kat 2.0 (MK 2.0) will probably be slammed for the first few weeks, and we think we can offer something people really will love so we are cautiously optimistic we can make money this time.  Not huge money, we won't get rich, but enough to be comfortable works for me!

I gotta get back to work.  I haven't updated my spreadsheets yet for my exercise, garage-job, and MK 2.0.  I'm a total spreadsheet-dork what a bunch of crap!  I did yoga and lost to Deno 3 games at rball today.  The games were fun, but that friggin' guy is like the Terminator and I called him that last week and it's sorta stuck.  Gavin can't play for a bit since he dove and busted himself up some.  I know the feeling, it sucks, but thankfully I'm relatively healthy now.  Maybe?  Hopefully!  I feel good so that's at least something positive.

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Thursday, 1-15-26: My first VA appointment. Am I healthy? Stairs and a throne.
I had my initial appointment at the Bangor VA yesterday at 0815, and it went very well. They only kept my loser-ass there for about an hour. I wenghed 145.3 with my boots and jacket on, and that's the first time in many weeks if not months I've been weighed. I'm certainly not fat hehe! Vitals all good the doc said I'm healthy and he wished he had more people like me because it's easy. They are going to do bloodwork, but not until May due to being short-staffed and I'm not a priority. No worries all good I have a tax season to survive and a restaurant to restart so this winter will be BUSY for my loser-ass.

They asked if I wanted to schedule a colonoscopy and the only acceptable answer to that question is HELL NO. I'd rather die than have my ass probed and I'm not even joking about that. If I get ass-cancer then I guess that's how I check out, but I won't know I have it since I'm not getting screened so what happens there? I guess if I get sick enough any bloodwork would show cancer. I also guess this topic is now closed for discussion because I'm all-good... for now.

Sadly my awesome wife is not all good. She needs heart surgery in a week because she has a partial blockage in her artery that feeds the heart so not enough oxygen happens and that makes her very weary. What a bunch of crap! I worry about her, but I eat my edible and still sleep. Without that edible forget it I'd never sleep. She sleeps poorly, but edibles don't seem to work on her. She had a rough day today but she was able to work from home. She has a lot to do on the computer. A LOT. She needs to program all the food and drinks into the computer, price the menu, actually make the menu, etc. I couldn't do it that's for sure.

^My awesome wife sits atop her throne at Mad Kat. HAHAHAHA! I was in the office, and that toilet goes back into the handicap front-bathroom when I get that put back together. The floor was in really bad shape, but I made fantastic progress on that floor today and I should have it put back together this weekend. Maybe? Hopefully! I should take a day off this weekend as I badly need one, but F that I'll work every day until Kat has her surgery next Friday the 23rd then I'll take some time off to be with her.

That photo is epic since she's literally the ruler of that place. It is like a throne just don't try to poop in it hehehe.

We had to install grease-traps for two of the sinks because this was the sewer line not long ago:

^OMG DISGUSTING WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! It doesn't even look real wow! The city had that photo so they gave me permission to take my own picture of that picture. It's been cleaned since then, but I don't know by how much. The sewer-guy, really cool guy by the way and fellow Navy veteran, was saying a plaza in Wisconsin was totally shut down due to a plugged/broken sewer line so I thought he was implying our plaza was going to be shut down, but he assured me it was not. If the plaza gets shut down we are obviously pwned and that would be epic failer.

I don't know how many years' worth of grease that is. We tried to be squared away, Mack's didn't seem very on the ball with that stuff, but who knows it sure looks like more than 8 months of grease and that's how long Mack's was there.

I've put more hours into that garage job than I have the restaurant this week, and that sucks but it's necesary. I need to get that garage job tied off until the second part of April, and that needs to happen next week. Thankfully I got the stairs leading from the main home into the garage and addition yesterday and today. The stairs were a little easier than I expected, but I wouldn't say it was a walk in the park. Lots of cuts with the sawzall, lots of planning, and lots of math.

^That was a weird triangle-shaped closet that is obviously no longer a closet.

I would've taken a better picture, but that space is tight because their stuff is all over the place so I couldn't take a better picture. What a bunch of crap!

Homeowner and his wife have taken turns telling me about railings and other finish-stuff so I told the homeowner he has me for about a week then I'm done until after tax season so some things are NOT getting done. He is fine with that, or so he seems, but a reminder here and there seems mission-critical so he doesn't keep trying to add more work onto my already overflowing plate. Every friggin' day I'm there he has a new plan and stuff that he springs on me. Just getting him to decide on stain for his bookcase unit turned into more work than I expected. He has a new desk coming and he wants the stain to match that desk. Great! Problem: desk not arriving until the 22nd in one week. I told him stain is happening tomorrow or else not until the spring so that got him more focused on picking a color. Via should start that tomorrow. Maybe? Hopefully! Getting her there isn't always easy since I'm probably her 5th work-priority right now. Oh well I'd rather have her at the restaurant most days anyway.

Alright turds, all two of you, I'm gonna watch a little more of the Celtics game before I bivouac. Celtics are 24-15, but they've lost 3 in a row and are down 74-66 now in Miami. What a bunch of crap! Oh, the Patriots locked up the #2 seed in the AFC and they beat the Chargers last Sunday evening to advance. I don't think they're expected to make it to the Superbowl but they do have a good team so there's more than a slim chance they do.

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Friday, 1-09-26: This fuckin' roof...
All I wanna know is why? Why does the roof at the restaurant gotta be totally pwned? It has several leaks, and two of them are in mission-critical spots that might prevent us from opening until the problems are resolved. This winter has been BRUTAL so far, and over the last few days we've had some "warmer" weather that should be a win. Sadly it's a loss because all the snow and ice on the roof is melting and leaking right into the restaurant space. One huge leak is where we plan to install a brand new beer cooler and the other leak is by the new stage where thousand of dollars' worth of TVs and audio/lights will be located. What a bunch of crap!

I called and texted the landlord and got no reply so we are just taking matters into our own hands. Kat put out feelers on Failbook and we have some help. Two guys were up there for several hours shovelling and trying to get it cleared because there will be NO repairs with snow and ice everywhere. FUCK YOU WINTER. So I had to get there by 0800 and we get up early so that's fine, but not really because we've been working later so I don't want to roll out at 0730 when I could be doing a little house-cleaning, checking emails, and doing yoga before we leave. I like to allocate a few minutes for the dogs as well so they can run around, and they totally live for it. We don't even deserve dogs and I am embarassed we have them. I would 100% advocate for re-homing them, but Tiger Lily is 9.5 years old, Groot is a bit over 8, so that's not fair. They need each other and who would take them? If someone offered and it was the right fit I would be all over it, but my awesome wife would be pissed so nevermind.

After our dogs check out (which will be incredibly sad by the way) I don't want dogs anymore, not unless our life gets really easy and I actually have precious... precious time.

I'm actually pretty fucked right now. 2026 is off to a bad start, and it needs to get better or else I will totally lose the will to live and that is dangerous this time of year when, on most days, I can get wasted and go freeze in the woods. Well tonight I can't since it's 42 degrees with rain showers, but that is far from the norm and that will make the restaurant flood even more. Fuck my dog-shit life.

I have too many things going on so I am accomplishing nothing in a hurry. I can't focus anymore so I need a day off, but how can I get one when we have contrators and helpers coming tomorrow and Sunday? If I don't take a day off soon I might snap and end up in a mental ward or dead so that will be my priority maybe not in the next few days but possibly within the next week or so. Maybe? Hopefully. I fucking hate my life again and that is very dangerous.

I did mostly finish the bar-top:

^Very plain-looking now, but it should look badass with stain, records, CDs, and engravings. The bar-rail is only tacked into place for now. Bar is mostly level now so that's a big win as compared to the first one from five years ago. I didn't do that bar-top, I was focused elsewhere, but I would have screwed it up if I had done it.

I just don't have precious... precious time. I was wasted like Doc-J and 8-Ball from Full Metal Jacket by around 1730 today. I was supposed to quit at 1600 but there was too much going on and that really pissed me off. I got back on the roof and it was 40 degrees but very windy so I got cold. Then I had to do a showing at a vacant space in that plaza and there is no heat there so that was cold so I was in bad shape before I left. I needed to warm up and get food in me. I actually got dizzy anf felt a little sick as I left. I got home a bit before Kat, I made a coffee brandy and milk with my food, and she got home and gave me shit for having a drink and that was the last thing I fuckin' needed. Not like I'm an alcoholic how about a fuckin' thank you for working for free for HER restaurant. It's not mine, I don't even want it, I am just doing it because I feel guilty that I took it away from her and from the other loyal staff just over a year ago. We had staff stay right until the actual last-minute how cool is that? A couple of them quit before we closed so they are NOT getting rehired even though they've asked to come back. HAHAHA.

I even sold off most of my ownership so I am "only" going to be a 17% owner and I'll sell another 14% to drop down to 3% if I can find another investor. I'm not even joking either. I will help there a lot, but it will be on my terms and if I get put on the schedule too often I will just leave. By leave I mean my ass is GONE. Maybe alive, maybe dead, that remains to be seen, but I will not live in Penobscot County anymore that is for sure. I'll start over somewhere else and probably somewhere warmer.

To be clear I do NOT want that to happen, but it will have to happen if I don't get my life-schedule back on track. I don't even need much in this life just a little time here and there for me and for the things I like. Racquetball, a gym, deer hunting, maybe read a book, good enough.

Another problem is this garage-job that I won't finish until much later this year. I accidentally fooled the homeowner into thinking I'm a good carpenter even though one wall is 1.5 inches out of square on NEW CONSTRUCTION. What a bunch of crap! He's already taking about hiring me for other stuff, and I gotta shut that shit down because moving forward the tax business and that restanrant will keep me plenty busy. I'm just trying to get one office-room done, but it keeps taking longer than I want because I'm so busy. I really do hate my life again.

^Not much left now; I was going to start the floor but there was a leak from the exterior deck area off to the right, far wall, under the heat pump. As I said earlier this winter has been a shit-show. There aren't gutters yet so that will help, but I have to pull up some deck boards to seal it better. I am pretty sure I know what went wrong, but bye bye a couple more precious... precious hours dealing with that stupid shit. It's my own fault and I made my own luck. What a bunch of crap!

Via did the painting and she's a good painter, but she's not very reliable. She said she'd come at 1000 yesterday and I didn't see her until 1515. I guess going to karaoke at the Pour House was more important for her the night prior and I should fire her ass for that, but I'm down to my last few days needing her help there so I'm just going to let it slide. She's a good person she's just busy and I need her more for the soon-to-be restaurant anyway.

I REALLY want to take tomorrow off, but I can't. What a bunch of crap! I'm thinking the next day off I might get will be in a week, and even that is quite unlikely. I still have to set up the tax office as well so I am just totally pwned and it's really not fair. I should quit everything and just go get a "real" M-F job working 9-5 or something like that. I wouldn't even need to make a lot of money just enough to get by. Having two days off each week would be a gift from the gods who do not really exist.

^I am 50 years old and bad at life. Whose fault is that?! Where's my psychologist? Oh he's in Costa Rica now and he is a she. Fantastic human being, but an example of how fucked we all are as a society...

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Wednesday, 1-07-26: A vortex of thoughts, but eerily calm right now.
I don't sleep well unless I eat a pot-cookie (or some form of edible) so that sucks. A lot. I was tired a couple nights ago so I bivouaced without one, but I was up 1.5 hours later and I couldn't get back to sleep without one. What a bunch of crap! I generally can't sleep because my mind is this:

^From Poltergeist hehe. Everything just flies around all the time inside my bootleg and undersized brain. Maybe this is a better image/meme:

You can't turn off a vortex, but you can escape it by finding some calm. There is always calm around but often times it's hidden and needs to be sought out.

I'm trying to compare my thoughts now as compared to 25 years ago (half my life) but I can't. I don't think I was this scattered, no way, but maybe I was to some degree? I think a major part is I had less to worry about. I don't really worry about money anymore (As Pet Shop Boys plays in the background, Opportunities Let's Make Lots of Money. HAHAHAHA!) but I worry about my wife. She needs a heart surgery on the 23rd of this month and she's scared. I've been with her for a few other surgeries since we've been together, and she's never ever seemed scared before one.

The surgery came up really unexpectedly, as I'm sure many surgeries do. This isn't "Your knee is pwned let's plan for a new one.", though. Not cosmetic, nope it's the ticker. She had a "Stress test" that she didn't do so well on a couple weeks ago so they found a partial blockage that needs to get un-blocked in a hurry. Hopefully it is a quick fix and they don't have to do anything drastic. The technology is amazing because they have cameras and stuff that can go into veins. Amazing yet sad because we are so creative yet our medical system is a total train-wreck.

Speaking of medical stuff, I have my first VA appointment next week at 0830. Part of me wants to bail on it because I feel fine and it uses up precious... precious time I could be using to work on the restaurant. However, I won't bail on it because I need to get my loser-ass into their system and who knows, I might suffer a really bad injury that would cost a ton if I didn't get set up with the VA. I would rather die than be all maimed, but some asshole might find my mangled bootleg body and try to save it before I could stop it.

I'm hoping when we finish the restaurant remodel and I finish the huge garage job that I started in 2024 the thought-vortex will ease up some. Now I'm always trying to solve little carpentry "puzzles" in my mind before I rack out. For that garage, how can I drop the soon-to-be stairs through a weird closet that has an unusual turn? How can I get the bar-top at Mad Kat just right? What supplies do I need to grab at Lowe's tomorrow? It never ends until I get a little baked and dull it down then fall asleep. What a bunch of crap!

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Friday, 1-02-26: I'm tired of the "Chinese Fire Drill." that is my bootleg life.
I had a rough day today. I just got overwhelmed because I had too much going on. What a bunch of crap! Not a great start to 2026, but hey at least yesterday wasn't horrible. It truly felt like my life is a Chinese Fire Drill today. I don't even know what one of those is so I should find a meme for this bootleg site that no one ever reads...

Well I just accidentally closed out of this turd program so bye bye a few paragraphs that I can never get back. What a bunch of crap! I was writing about how 2025 ended pretty swell when my awesome wife and I decided to play SNES Classic, Super Mario World. We had our feet up and it was glorious even though the final-boss level in world 3 is FUCKIN' BULLSHIT.

^We died. A lot. Then we bivouaced well before midnight. I woke up at 1203 to take a piss and I didn't even care... whether or not I cared that it was now 2026. Why would I care? It's just one step closer to my ultimate demise because no one lives forever and living forever would REALLY suck.

I need to stop doing everything all the gods damned time. I can't stop being so busy, but on some level I know how I just don't actually do it. The fact my bootleg life is a Chinese Fire Drill is my own friggin' fault. I'm really struggling to do both the garage-job and the restaurant remodel. I knew it would be tough, but my helper flaked out a bit so that really sucked. Thankfully she was back today and she crushed it so we are almost ready for paint. Sadly it's been COLD. Like, stupid-cold and these cold snaps do put me in a worse mood because it sucks when you step outside and your entire face goes numb.

^39 degrees INSIDE and with a heat pump running when it's -5 outside. What a bunch of crap! Heat pumps kinda suck when it's really cold. Thankfully by the end of next week we should get to around 40 for a few days and that will seem glorious compared to where we've been. I'll put in extra work at that garage next week because having it loom over my head is really all-bad for my loser-ass. I'm sick of doing 25 different things in one day. It's not boring, that's for sure, but it's overwhelming.

All the brutally-cold days and snow so far this winter have absolutely negatively impacted my work-life balance. I've wasted precious... precious hours shovelling snow, scraping frost, digging out the trailer, etc. Gotta warm up the vehicles longer when it's -7, too. Frost, wind, power-outages, fuck you Maine this time of year. I don't think living here in the winter makes any sense at all, but there is no viable other option in the ear future, especially with the tax business still gaining steam.

Alright turds, all two of you who read this bootleg crap, I'm getting tired and my edible is kicking in. I wish I didn't have to eat a pot-cookie to help me sleep but when I turned my dog-shit life into a Chinese Fire Drill that is the price I had to pay. Can't sleep anymore without one because I made poor life decisions. What a bunch of crap!

I was just thinking I should listen to The Pet SHop Boys It's Alright before I rack out. That song fits in some weird way right now...

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