1-26-21: Bathrooms almost done.
^Women's bathroom. The female head used to be a one-at-a-time small room so we found a way to break through the sketchy unused employee-only area and expand both the men's and the women's. Now both can be two-at-a-time instead of just one. Hopefully I can do the epoxy floor tomorrow and Thursday o Bruce and Kevin can hook up the toilets and sinks this coming weekend.
I've had more time lately than I thought I would have to work on the bar. I expected my tax business to get busy, but so far it hasn't been too bad. Some text messages and a quick call today from clients but nothing taking up more than a small portion of my day. I don't have any tax clients scheduled until next Monday, but I expect at least a couple later this week. People will drop stuff off to me and trickle in. Next month for sure I will be much busier in the tax office.
We still don't have an opening date for the bar because we have a lot left to do. Hopefully a month for a grand open to the public? Most likely that will be March. However, I do think we are on track for a soft open to friends and family later next month. Maybe? Hopefully! We will go bankrupt if we don't get open at some point this winter.
Kat and I have been doing much better so that is a huge relief. I really don't want to get divorced. Her and I still have a lot to figure out, but I'm not quitting yet. I come close sometimes (not the past few days thankfully) and tonight I kinda wanted to work on some ordering and have a little peace and quiet. However, life is about compromise and she' had a few drinks and wants to keep me company in between singing some karaoke songs so I am out of here for the night to be at least a mediocre husband. No drinking for my ass tonight, F that. I'll drink later in the week!
I did drink some Saturday night and it was great. Kat went out with friends for a while so I had the house to myself. The first thing I did was clean the place. Then I did laundry, but I left my wallet in my pocket so it got all wet and I had to take everything out and dry it. What a bunch of crap! I also gave myself a haircut then had coffee brandy and milk and played video games. I played some Super Metroid. I just played that game a year ago, but I missed half the hidden stuff so I'll play it again and see if I do better. I probably will not do better, though. What a bunch of crap!
Thursday 1-21-21: Stupid hard video games.
^LEVEL FUCKIN' 3 it sucks. A lot. I failed at level 1 about 50 times before I beat it, and then I failed at level 2 about 75 times before I won. Actually calling it a win is a misnomer because I jsut fumbled my stupid way through it. I put the setting on BEGINNER and with maximum lives, too. I suck! There was a raft and a tide in level 2 and it was ridiculous. There is hidden green and golden armor along the way, and if you can make it through with one of those it is awesome. However, one hit from a bad guy makes you fight in your friggin' underwears. Seriously! In the photo above the guy has the good armor, but man is it easy to lose.
I suck at the old video games, but it is even worse when I am half in the bag or maybe even 100% drunk. Those fire-shooting bad guy can eat the peanuts out of my sssssssssshhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt! I guess I could beat level 3 if I was sober and people were not interrupting me. Kat has some friends over, and they want to talk to me from time to time. I'm pretty sure everyone in this house is boozed up right now, myself included. I quit the video game because I am bad at it. I need an easier video game so next time I should play Kirby's Dreamland or something like that. Hell, I can't even get past SNES Mario level 3. What a bunch of crap!
I am exhaused so I think I will bivouac. It is not late, but I have to work a full day tomorrow doing things. I work full days every day, but at least this week I feel productive and I see the end of the big carpentry down at the bar. There is a lot left to do, but the demolition, sheetrock, mud/tape will be over in no time. After that it's time for cleaning, touh-ups, trim, etc.
I am too drunk to keep writing so I am going to bivouac now. Goonies never say die!
Wednesday 1-20-21: A political epic failer and
a bar-top epic failer.
America might be pwned. Like, all your base are balong to us old style level 6-2 Ninja Gaiden Ghost N Goblins level 3 pwned. The new regime is already undoing what good Trump did and soon this country will be badly in debt when taxes go up and businesses move back overseas. Trump is a piece of shit human being, but at least he cared about the economy and he ran this nation like a business. What the hell is Biden gonna do? Probably reinstate Failbamacare (health plan) and make rich people pay way too many taxes. I'm not even close to rich and I think taxes are too high for the wealthy already.
Trump did NOT bow out of the presidency gracefully. He claimed the election was stolen, and he sorta encouraged people to do this stupid shit a couple weeks ago on Capitol Hill:
People broke right into congress. One guy sat at Pelosi's desk and read her mail. All the reps and senators were evacuated, but a couple people did end up dying. I believe there was a lot of foul play for the dems to take over the country, but I don't think that was the right way to go about showing support for Trump.
This country is FUCKED. Good thing I at least got close to half a life out of the place, maybe 2/3. Maybe 4/5? Maybe 99% if I check out in the near future. I was planning to live a few more decades, but we'll see. I might get sick of things and check out sooner. No way to know right now.
Our bar top at the restaurant = WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! That thing is the worst failer, ever. It has taken an unbelieveble amount of time to try and fix. Yesterday I paid Hawk to chisel at if before he and I went over to Gavin's to do more sheetrock work:
We tried sanding and scraping by hand, but Neil and I finally agreed more agressing tactics were needed to get the sticky and goopy stuff totally gone. Unfortunatly that did some damage all the way down to the plywood below the records in some areas, but we hope to get it fixed. Working on that fuckin' bar top has taken days, literally days worth of man-hours between Neil, Hawk, and I. Neil has done most of it because I don't have the patience to keep at it that long.
Today we did get a couple test areas ready, and I took a picture of one of the pours that we did:
^If that can cure to 100% solid then we *should* be able to fix the bar. Maybe? Hopefully! The new epoxy brings the shine back. Maybe it will cloud over or not dry at all, though. The cloudy appearance of everything outside of the BAR AND GRILL part is due to us sanding the entire thing over and over again.
We should know by tomorrow, Friday at the latest, if we can save it or not. If not we are in big trouble and might lose a week rebuilding the entire bar top. That would be a bunch of crap!
I put in a full day at the bar today, something I can't do all that often due to other work. I didn't take a picture of my work area today, but I spent most of my day working in the men's and women's bathrooms. Those two areas are in need of the most carpentry but in a few days all the FRP will be up, sheetrock areas will be ready for paint, and we can mostly check those two important rooms off the list.
Sunday 1-17-21: Tax season for my ass.
I have my first two clients of the season tomorrow morning, and after that maybe I can work at the restaurant some. However, I also have to fix a couple ceiling tiles that got wet and fell down in the kitchen in the apartment above the tax office. What a bunch of crap! Stupid ice dam on the roof caused meltwater to back right up and find its way into that apartment. I might need a new roof on that building this year. [sigh] I have so much work to do this year it is ridiculous. It's a bunch of crap!
The IRS does not even officially start accepting tax returns until February 12th this year. OMG EPIC LATE. The pandemic is responsible for that, or so they say. Maybe that is a good thing for me, though? Maybe I won't be too busy at the tax office for the rest of this month so I can spend more time at the bar/restaurant trying to get it ready. Over the weekend Neil and I spent a lot of precious... precious time trying to get the uncured expoxy scraped off the top of our epic fail bar...
^WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP IT SHOULD NOT LOOK LIKE THAT.
That epoxy is so sticky. I'm not even sure we can save that bar top, but hey at least we have more heat now thanks to the heat pump we had installed. Too bad we had to pay $5000 for the thing including the permit and wiring it needed.
Bruce and Kevin spent the weekend at the place doing plumbing, and the dishwash area is partly done. However, turning this into something respectable is going to take a while more:
^Needs new walls, new plumbing, a new floor drain, pretty much everything. What a bunch of crap!
In addition to having to get that place up and running and doing taxes I still have several hours or more left to do at Gavin's place for his sheetrock. I am just totally buried, and it sucks. A lot. Top that with a failed marriage and it is all-bad for me. Oh well at least I never, ever get bored...
Tuesday 1-12-21: Enjoy the Silence.
Everything is weird and wrong yet I keep going on with my life as usual in the physical sense. I eat, I sleep, I exercise, I work. My marriage is all but over and somehow I am not really physically affected. Does that make me a sociopath? Or when I have been called emotionall impotent in the past perhaps that is incredibly accurate? Probably a combination of both. That and I just naturally put up walls to keep all the emotional crap out of my core. Writing that does not really make much sense, but I think it's at least partially true.
I need more quiet like this in the coming days and weeks. Possibly months? The rest of my life? Before this week there was never much quiet. Some here and there on nights I woke up at 0300 feeling wide awake, but when I am awake at 0300 because I cannot sleep it is a different kind of quiet. At that hour I am usually at least a little annoyed because I should be sleeping.
I dunno what will happen when Kat comes back, but I am not looking forward to it. The silence will end, and we will have to talk. I don't hate my wife, I am just done. There is nothing more I care to discuss with her so I am hitting the RESET button on that part of my life. For the past weeks and months we have talked about our problems, and it always comes back to the same disagreements so I have quit. She thinks I stole her dream by letting our business partners have so much say in the restaurant, I think she is not a team player and is selfish. End of conversation. The end. Fin.
Except not really because she will want to talk. A lot. Maybe she will hit me and/or yell at me? I will find out later this week. I really just want to help her haul on me, but I won't resort to being nasty in order to do it. I just need to be alone emotionally for quite a while and I hope I can not go too (more) crazy while I do so. I might just stay single for the rest of my life because if I do that I can enjoy the silence and not feel guilty about it. I actually don't feel guilty about the peace and quiet I have right now. Does that make me a bad person?
Speaking of bad people, the fucking Democrats are taking over and that worthless pile of civilian shit, Nancy Pelosi (Democratic Speaker of the House) is trying to impeach president Trump again. Last week rioters broke into the capitol building and a couple people died so now half the world is blaming Trump for it. Trump lost the election to Biden, but it was close and probably rigged so the Dems would win. Trump has a week left in office before Biden and his shit-show take over, but still Pelosi and her cronies want to publicly haul on Trump.
OMG HE HAS A FUCKING WEEK LEFT ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!
^FAIL TROPHY BOTH FOR MYSELF FOR FAILING AT MARRIAGE AND FOR WASHINGTON DEMOCRATS FOR WASTING FUCKING TIME ON TRUMP WHEN HE IS DONE IN A WEEK.
Trump has handled things incredibly poorly, but the Dems have handled things even worse and big business is really showing their true colors in recent days. Social media platforms like Failbook and Twitter have booted Trump right off. OMG! Amazon shut down some other social media platform altogether. They took it away like The Nothing took away the beautiful lake in the north in The Neverending Story.
I should watch The Neverending Story before Kat comes home. I won't do it tonight, but maybe I will drink and watch it later this week. It is the second-best movie of all-time and if you disagree with me then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more. No booze tonight, maybe tomorrow. The alcohol definitely helps. A lot. Is it the right thing to do? I honestly don't know. I would say it is not, but I haven't gotten so wasted that I wake up the next day hungover. I still get up and go to work. I work every day now. Days off are canceled until maybe April or May. However, I want to work every day and that will be good for me. Maybe working a lot will help me fix my shit-show life.
Sunday 1-10-21: Why I drink about 50% of the
evening so far in 2021...
Ok that is not Morla the Ancient one, it is the Sarlaac Pit from Star Wars. I will throw myself into that thing if I don't get my shit together.
Thankfully I drink. I thank the gods who do not exist for alcohol. I don't need booze all the time, but man it sure is handy every so often. My life is pwned, but I can un-pwn it woth liquor. The entire term of PWNED is hilarous and might need a back-story. Guy gets on the Interweb to find the back-story because guy forgot.
i can tell you people were using it in 1994/5 , i started my online gaming "career" that year , and i heard it plenty , in quake 2 (action quake) and quake 3 arena ... i always heard it pronounced "pawned" , and i suppose its a typo that stuck .... btw anyone remembre the old "all your base are belong to us" expression ? its an oldie too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfMC2aVhYuo
From old video games Oh Jesus Hell ya!
I am going to get FUCKING DRUNK tonight because I can. All your base are belong to us = incredible classic!
"All your base are belong to us" is a popular Internet meme based on a phrase found in the opening cutscene of the European release of the 1992 Mega Drive/Genesis port of the 1989 arcade video game Zero Wing, which is subtitled and poorly translated."
Man, I actually look forward to the rest of 2021 because I am going to fix my shit. I can't 100% fix it, but I can make a lot of progress in the right direction.
I love to play old video games, but this level in Super Mario World can eat the peanuts out of my sssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt:
^THAT FUCKING WIZARD APPEARS AND PWNS MY ASS! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!
I played that level for a bit a couple nights ago after I got liquored up, and I lost all of my lives in about 3 minutes. It was all-bad. So I drank more and went upstairs and essentially passed out for the night.
I don't know how to talk about my failed marriage so I will try to sum it up. However, it is quiet in here so I will find music first. Guy wants to hear Stranger in a Strange Land. Iron Maiden's bet song and if you disagree with me then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I will hate you a little more...
It sounds so tinny on my bootleg computer speakers epic failer! I hate my life I failed at it.
I had to pause for a minute because I am almost wasted like Doc-J and 8-Ball from Full Metal Jacket. I forgot what I was writing about. Oh Yeah, I am going to get divorced this year. I don't want to do that, but I have to. My wife doesn't reallt give a shit about me so I quit. It is a 3-ring circus and I have not even written half of all the bullshit. I quit. The end. Fin.
I am looking forward to being single. I don't want other chicks. FUCK THAT. I just want to be by myself for a while or until the zombie apocalypse. I can read books, get drunk, go hunting (NOT while drunk), watch the Red Sox, try to beat level 3 castle in SNES, etc. I really do want to fix my ridiculous life, and I am going to do so.
I don't know what will happen when I get divorced and am single again. I won't be trying to find a chick because I can't do that, but will I get bored and/or lonely? I don't think I will because I a=have lots of things I can do. The old video games are too hard to beat, but I will still play them. I can hang out at the restaurant that I never wanted to own but that I have to own now, I can go do carpentry, etc. I don't think i will get bored.
Human League I'm only Human. Great 80s song! It ended and my phone is almost dead. I should go to bed because I am pretty drunk. However, does it matter? I can still spell like a boss ut I do have to rewind and fix things. I might also have asthma because sometimes it is har to breathe. Or I am just strssed out. I am getting bad at spelling because I am a piece of shit. Whar a buneech of crap! I reallt do thing I am too drunk to keep writing and no one even reads this shit show anywa. The end. Fin.
Saturday 1-09-21: Back of the house getting done.
^A brand new 8x10 walk-in fridge that Neil and I put together. The thing shipped on a large pallet, and bringing it all in was a chore. We actually received the fridge over a week ago, but we just got around to installing it today while Bruce and Kevin (plumbers) finished the kitchen sinks and while Jim (beer tap expert) installed a lot of our keg-line and beer technology. A lot got done down at the bar today. Doing the fridge took a few hours, but we are damn proud of it. Bruce and Kevin even took a brief time-out from the plumbing to help get the heavy motor/coil unit on the top.
The fridge is not going to work until sparkies wire it up and until our HVAC guy can get to it, but the hardest work for us is over in that department. Oh Jesus, hell ya!
I have been working in the kitchen installing FRP, and we also received the gas range/griddle unit yesterday so now we can call our expert who can tie in our cooking line. I'll call him Monday, and hopefully at some point this coming week he can make time to get all that connected for us. On Thursday Jason and his guys installed our speakers and a sound test that afternoon was awesome to hear. Each and every day we make progress, but I know we are not 100% efficient with our time and we still have lots left to do.
Not having enough heat = what a bunch of crap! Thankfully this winter has been easy so far with most days seeing 30-35 degrees lately and no below-zero nights. No brutal cold, and this coming week looks decent as well. No snow and continued above average. Oh Jesus hell ya! My December heat bill for the rental properties was the lowest, ever. Even the restaurant only cost $255 for the furnace natural gas. Not bad at all since the furnace has to constantly run most of the time. We set it at 70 and end up around 60 on most days. Gods damn it!
Thankfully we have a potential solution to the heat problem in the works. Looks like we are going to get a heat pump installed this coming week for the dining area, and after that we can try to fix this epic failer bar top that never properly cured.
The health inspector also received our application, and we are scheduled for a "Facetime" thing with him on Friday the 22nd. If we can give it a good push to the finish line we can get all the sinks working, the dish area operational, the fridge/freezers all on to prove they work and can maintain temperature, and *hopefully* I can finish the men's and women's bathrooms. Right now we have one working shitter, but we will need more than that to keep customers happy.
When we do open most likely we will be limited to a 50-person maximum due to Covid-19. We will likely also have to close by 2100. What a bunch of crap! We might not open for close to two months to the general public so by then the Covid-rules might change. Whether or not they change for the better or for the worse remains to be seen...
Thursday 1-07-21: My plan to sleep better tonight
I feel like I slept a little too much last night, and I am under a tremendous amount of stress so I knew hours ago that I had to put some booze into my body tonight. So far I am only on my third drink, and I will probably end the night with 4. Maybe 5 if I do a shot. 6? Any more than that is unwise. I won't get shitfaced because I don't want to. If I get liquored up enough I will sleep well-ish. However, it is a fine line to walk. If I get too wasted I'll have regrets and if I don't drink enough I won't fall asleep. What a bunch of crap!
I still wish I didn't have to do this restaurant/bar, but things are too far along now to bail without ruining everything. By ruining everything I mean that is a real sense, too. If I let that thing fail now then I guess I have failed in this entire area and I will sell out and disappear. No more living on Parkway North in Brewer, Maine. No more living in Penobscot County in Maine. The entire geographic area will be ruined for me forever so hopefully that does NOT happen. Failing = what a bunch of crap!
It is not all hopeless. Today Jason and his guys got the sound system up and running, and that was awesome to hear. We also finally got my heating guys there, the ones who had ghosted my ass months ago because they were too overworked. I got a quote for adding heat to the dining area. We need more heat in there ASAP. The quote is a plan A ($3200), plan B ($4600), and plan C ($7400) so most likely we will do plan B. However, I need to talk to the landlord to see if we can get some help with the cost. However, the landlord's phone went straight to voiccemail earlier. What a bunch of crap!
I don't often wish I could have a time machine because everything good and bad so far in my life in years past has led me to an overall good place. However, lately I do wish I had a way to travel back in time to August 12, 2020. That is the day I wrote this:
"We all know the space well, but the back areas needed a little more inspection and we needed to talk to the owner about our proposed plans for the space. After some back and forth on numbers and whether or not to take the Jester's space as well as the city Side space we were able to come to an agreement that we all think is fair, he got a deposit check, we found a way to swap out the Jester's lock, and the space is now ours!"
^MY FUCKIN' BAD.
Would I still have leased the space? Hopefully a year from now I would say hell yeah, but right now I am not convinced at all that I did the right thing.
Tuesday 1-05-21: Fuck this fucking bar.
Our gods damned restaurant, what a shit-show things have been at times lately. We don't have enough heat so that is a huge problem, especially since real harsh winter has not happened yet. I shudder to think what happens when we wake up to a -10 degree morning with wind chills down into the -30s. That heat problem might not be so terrible when we have a functioning kitchen, but we won't know that for a while more to come.
Having inadequate heat was most likely our downfall when it came to pouring the bar top last Friday. At first things were going great, and over the weekend we had hope things would come out looking really nice. I took pictures of Neil and Kat doing the first coat of epoxy while I did some mixing...
The records wanted to slide around some so Elmer's Glue didn't quite hold them in place. That sucked a little. The epoxy manufacturer requires the temperature to be at least 75 degrees for the product to properly cure so we put on a badass propane heater when we were there and used electric space heaters at night. The furnace we do have can get the place up to 60-ish so that ain't gonna get it done. We did seem to stay close to that 75 number during the day with extra heat pumping, but at night we dropped closer to 70. Nevertheless the epoxy seemed to cure and on Sunday, nearly two days after the last pour we did Friday evening, it seemed mostly solid. I hated leaving the electric heaters on overnight with no one there so Sunday night I turned them off and the temperature dropped down to 58 by Monday early AM.
Kat got to the bar before me Monday morning (I did yoga), and she was the first to see the bad news. During the night massive areas of the bar top softenen up and even appeared to run in spots. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! It was bad, all-bad. She put the heat back on and we kept the heat back on all day and all night. Sadly this morning the bar top seemed even worse, even more sticky and less solid, so we are officially pwned.
GODS DAMNED THIS FUCKING BAR ALL I WANNA KNOW IS WHY? WHY DID I START THIS FUCKING THING IN THE FIRST PLACE? WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!
Kat did email the manufacturer and got a potential solution that sucks. A lot. We have to scrape off the soft areas (90% of the fuckin' bar) and sand it down, get the heat way up, and try to do another pour to fill it all back in. If we do it exactly right we can have an awesome bar top. If not we are fucked up the ass with no lube and are out a tremendous amount of precious... precious time and money.
I am serioulsy considering shutting this entire project down and just writing off our life savings and starting over. At least we still have our house, Allen Rd, and the tax office building. I don't really want to write off $200k because that took me for-fucking-ever to amass, but it is a shit-show right now so it might happen.
^I dealt with this type of shit, literally shit in some of that photo, on and off for many, many years to build up for the future and if this restaurant fails all that is gone in a matter of months.
Having inadequate heat at the place is a huge problem. When it is 30 degrees outside and only 60 inside that epic failer. Plus I lost my drive to finish things. I wish I hauled on the rental properties and just paid off the house and bought another timeshare, given a lot of money to Make a Wish and the VFW. Bought a truckload of booze to have on hand for those "just in case" scenarios like impending asteroid and/or zombie wasteland. We could live off a ridiculously low income with this house paid off. Probably $24k a year would be good enough with anything above that a bonus for vacations and more fun. Our house isn't that costly, but property taxes alone are $4000 a year (basic ranch house 1/4 acre lot) so nevermind. What a bunch of crap!
Sunday 1-03-21: Bad start to 2021.
Actually, regarding that last sentence I don't think that is true. Since I am old and since I get drunk half the time when I actually play old video games there is a tremendous replay value. I played Super Mario World only last year, but as I play it now I have forgotten half of the levels. I suck! I'm gonna go play more while I listen to Kat sing karaoke in the other room. The sound carries well into the living room. I think my life is pwned? I dunno really, but after I drink some more I can come back and me, myself, and I can sort things out a little more.
Ok shitheads, I am back after a couple more drinks. I defeated level 2 in Super Mario World. Kat came out to talk to me, but I just played video games instead. She seemed more drunk than me, though. Where's my psychologist? I think 2021 might be a shit-show? 2020 was... weird. It sucked for millions of people due to Covid-19, but for me it wasn't the 'rona virus that made it a whirwind of epic activity. I downsized the rental properties and decided to open a frigging restaurant. I also had a lot of carpentry to do. I was always busy. What a bunch of crap!
Drunk Kat is singing Shadows of the Night by Pat Benetar. Benetar is awesome and if you disagree with me then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a litte more.
We are both boozed up on a Sunday night, the third day out of 365 days in 2021. How bad is that? I did not plan to drink tonight, but we are not on the same page so booze helps. A lot. I won't get so wasted that I am hungover tomorrow, F that shit. Maybe? Hopefully. OMG A DOG JUST FARTED THIS IS HORRIBLE. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!
Let's talk about the dogs for a minute. We have three dogs, and getting a third dog was fucking stupid. Like, really dumb. I used to be a pussy-ass husband who did whatever his chick wanted, but no more. I told Kat on more than one occasion that I didn't want to get a third dog, but she was pushy about it and kept chipping away. This didn't happen yesterday by the way, this was 1.5 or two years ago. I said "NO" a bunch of times, but then I gave in and agreed and now we have three dogs. Groot was our third canine addition to the family, and if I had a time machine I would go back and trade her ass in. She is not a terrible dog, but she is like Pig Pen from The Peanuts.
I would totally haul on Groot, but Tiger Lily seems to have bonded with her filthy ass so I guess she has to stay? My marriage might very well end in 2021 (75% chance?), but I would like to keep all three dogs together for their sake. They do seem to play well together. Copper does his own thing and just wants to play fetch 24/7, but Tiger Lily and Groot chase each other around the yard and rumble around and shit. Copper will play with them some, but then he gets tired of it and he just wants to play fetch some more with a human.