9-04 10-04 11-04 12-04 1-05 2-05 3-05 4-05 5-05 6-05 7-05 8-05 9-05 10-05 11-05 12-05 1-06 2-06 3-06
4-06 5-06 6-06 7-06 8-06 9-06 10-06 11-06 12-06 1-07 2/07 3-07 4-07 5-07 6-07 7-07 8-07 9-07 10-07 11-07 12-07 1-08 2-08 3-08 4-08 5-08 6-08 7-08 8-08 9-08 10-08 11-08 12-08 1-09 2-09 3-09 4-09 5-09 6-09 7-09 8-09 9-09 10-09 11-09 12-09 1-10 2-10 3-10 4-10 5-10 6-10 7-10 8-10 9-10 10-10 11-10 12-10 1-11 2-11 3-11 4-11 5-11 6-11 7-11 8-11 9-11 10-11 11-11 12-11 1-12 2-12 3-12 4-12 5-12 6-12 7-12 8-12 9-12 10-12 11-12 12-12 1-13 2-13 3-13 4-13 5-13 6-13 7-13 8-13 9-13 10-13 11-13 12-13 1-14 2-14 3-14 4-14 5-14 6-14 7-14 8-14 9-14 10-14 11-14 12-14 1-15 2-15 3-15 4-15 5-15 6-15 7-15 8-15 9-15 10-15 11-15 12-15 1-16 2-16 3-16 4-16 5-16 6-16 7-16 8-16 9-16 10-16 11-16 12-16 1-17 2-17 3-17 4-17 5-17 6-17 7-17 8-17 9-17 10-17 11-17 12-17 1-18 2-18


"I boned her gay.. Ha Ha!" -Gavin (whose ex-girlfriend announced she is gay)

Friday, 3-30-18: Almost time to go to Jester's.
I just finished playing a little Super Mario Wii, I ate a snack, and then I watched the end of the Red Sox vs. Tampa Bay Rays game. The MLB season started early this year, about a week before what I consider to be normal. I don't think I can ever recall opening day being in March. However, I missed some years due to other obligations like being a sailor. I heard the baseball season was starting earlier this year so there could be more off days or something like that. Or maybe they don't want to have World Series games in November? Hell I dunno, and to quote the infamous Morla from The Neverending Story:

Thank you giant fake turtle. I don't even care... whether or not I care. I'm just glad the season has started.

It would be cool to have a Morla living in the mini-Swamps of Sadness that we have beyond the fence in the back yard. Then I could go out there and ask the great shellback-sage for life advice. I wonder if Morla would hibernate in the winter? I would assume so, but Morla is made of magic so maybe that opens up a whole subset of other rules? It would be nice to have 24/7 access to a giant magical advice-giving turtle. However, Morla gives shitty advice so maybe nevermind. All I wanna know is why? Why do I drink coffee brandy and have these conversations with myself about giant imaginary turtles? What a bunch of crap!

I have channel 1928 on right now, the 80s channel, and Survivor's Burning Heart just came on. Oh Jesus, hell ya! Rocky IV like a boss. Choosing the best Rocky movie is like choosing among a cheeseburger, a slice of well-made pizza, a fresh donut, Boston Creme Pie, or a piece of plain bread. Rocky V is obviously the plain bread because it is the weakest movie, but all the others are fucking awesome. Actually, even part V is not totally horrible. Maybe part V is more like a plain cookie than a slice of plan bread. Even plain cookies are good. I'm not sure what a plain cookie is, but I am imagining something like a chocolate chip cookie with no chocolate chips. ROCKY IS AWESOME. If you disagree with me then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.

Tommy sent me a text earlier with his 80s song of the day. Midnight Oil Power and the Passion. Hmmm... I don't know this song. The only Midnight Oil song I know is Beds are Burning, and that is a great 80s tune. After Billy Ocean finishes Get Out of my Dreams, Get into my Car I'll hop onto YouTube and check it out. If Tommy likes it then it must be good. Too bad Tommy is 3000 miles away or we could hang out and go to Jester's tonight. We miss hanging out with Tommy.

The Red Sox won tonight. Awesome! The season opener was actually yesterday afternoon, but I was at work and could not catch any of the game. The Sox had a 4-0 lead yesterday, but they blew it late. What a bunch of crap! Thankfully today the pitching was ace and the Sox earned a narrow 1-0 win. Two games down, 160 to go. I'm not sure how the Sox will fare this season, but considering all the young talent they are expected to do well. They have a payroll as high as the Yankees these days so MLB really does need a salary cap. It really feels like spring has arrived when MLB begins its season. However, there is still a lot of snow on the ground so nevermind.

Hmmm... that Midnight Oil song is interesting. It's from 1982, and I don't know it at all. Rare is the day when there is an 80s song that got actual radio play in the 80s that I don't know. I don't love the song, but it is catchy and I certainly don't hate it. Right now Irene Cara is singing Flashdance, and this is a superior song so I shall listen to it. Probably the movie this song was about was a turd in a punch bowl of 80s awesomeness, but I dunno I don't think I have ever seen the Flashdance movie. Musical movies can kiss my ass.

^Musical movies sucks and are all turds in the punch bowls of life. Sadly even 80s musicals can F off.

I'm about done on this bootleg piece of shit that no one will ever read. Probably this is my last March, 2018 update. Tomorrow is the last day of the month, and overall I can't complain too much about how March is ending. I got plenty of exercise in my gym, Kat is slowly improving since her heart ablation (although today's outcome for her is questionable at best yet she still goes to work.), Dad's health is improving since his hip replacement a week ago, and work at JH has been busier the past 3 days. 15 done in 3 days since my last turd-hep update, and tomorrow looks busy. Look out 301, here I come. Only 42 more to goal with plenty of time left. Oh Jesus hell ya!

I think I only have 13 actual work days left before the season ends. Oh Jesus, hell ya!

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Tuesday, 3-27-18: Day off from work.
I'm in danger of falling behind my last year's pace at work. What a bunch of crap! After exceeding the mark I set last year for the entire season I have had a very slow March. However, I do have a bunch of files on hold that will be finishing up before the deadline in three weeks. I did zero paid completed tax returns yesterday at work, but I found myself occupied for the entire day. First was a minister who bought a house, had itemized deductions, etc. Social security tax is treated differently for nonprofit church employees, and I had a few options so a lot of research was required. After that I had nonresident F-1 visa-status people from China who have two children born in America and as US citizens so I had to spend all kinds of time researching that one. Seems the IRS would not let them claim the kids and file as resident aliens (5-year test not yet met since they arrived in Aug, 2013.) However, our JH software said go for it claim the kids and get EITC and CTC. Seems questionable to me at best, but after conferring with another senior preparer I guess I'll roll with it. Both of those ones will most likely finish up later this week. The minister one was a fun one because he came in thinking he was going to owe in $11,000 based on his own incorrect calculations using Interweb software, and I have him getting a refund. Score! Those ones are always the best ones to do.

I have to bring the truck into the shop shortly for my annual inspection sticker and an oil change. The truck is 7.5 years old so I know they will find things that need doing before they slap a sticker on it. The driver-side rear door is not opening anymore, it is stuck shut, so hopefully that is an easy fix. If they have to tear it all apart it will be costly and a bunch of crap. I'll have a better idea how screwed I am a little later this morning.*

The new Star Wars movie, The Last Jedi, is out on DVD/BLUE-RAY today. Oh Jesus, hell ya! Kat and I rewatched part 7, The Force Awakens, on Sunday evening as a refresher. I'm glad we watched that one because I had forgotten a lot of the little parts of the story. The Force Awakens is a good movie; I'd probably give it a 7.5 on a scale of 1-10. I hated that Han Solo died, but I understand why and don't dislike the movie because of it. The new bad guy, emo-Vader 2.0, doesn't really strike fear like Vader once did so that hurts the movie a little bit. Plus he was the dink who murdered Han Solo so F him!

The original Star Wars movies from 1977, 1980, and 1983 were among the best movies ever made. 10/10 for all. Han Solo and Chewbacca were a huge part of the success, and moving forward it just won't be the same without Han. Leia, portrayed by Carrie Fisher, will also no longer be a part of the Star Wars universe since she passed away last year. I think Leia is in part 8 still, though. I'll know later when we watch it.

A new Han Solo movie is actually coming out this spring. It is a spinoff story about Han's younger years. Presumably about how he met Chewbacca, Lando, and how he got the Millenium Falcon. Obviously Harrison Ford won't be in the movie since he is too old. I wonder if Peter Mayhew still dons the Chewbacca suit? If not maybe they can hire The Undertaker since he is nearly 7 feet tall. Hehehehe. Then he can roar and give bad guys Tombstone Piledrivers. It would make no sense, but it would be awesome. Things don't always have to make sense to be awesome. As an example I present once more:

GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE.

I am looking forward to the Han Solo origin movie, but not as much as the one we plan to watch today. So far there hasn't been a bad Star Wars movie since the horrible pieces of dump that George Lucas made 15 or so years ago. However, the only two I have seen are The Force Awakens and Rogue One so that is a small sample size. Hopefully we can actually get The Last Jedi. I doubt it will sell out since I bet WalMart has a huge center-aisle display of 10000 copies of the movie. They better not price gouge us gods damn it. Anything over 25 bucks would be a bunch of crap! I could look it up online, but we'll just find out later when we go. We need some groceries and pet supplies as well so getting Star Wars is like an added bonus.

*Okay I'm back, I just went for a "jog", and it's a sunny 45-degree midafternoon. I went 2.25 miles, and it was all bad as expected. I was a slow 20:22, and I had to stop and walk a few times. What a bunch of crap! Winter was tougher than normal so this is only my second jog of the year. I went a pathetic 2 miles at the end of February before we got tons more snow. Oh well, I'll keep at it and get myself up to 3 miles at some point next month. I hope!

Speaking of a bunch of crap, we are leaving shortly to go get the truck. I ended up having to leave it at the shop this morning so they could work on the stuck rear driver-side door. I'll pay $367, but I'll have the truck stickered and ready to roll for hopefully quite a while more. the truck has about 71,500 miles on it now. Not bad the age of the thing. Overall it has been a great truck for me since I got it new in September, 2010.

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Friday, 3-23-18: I'm in the mood for some Neverending Story.
Several years ago I bought and read the book The Neverending Story by Michael Ende. The book is quite a bit different than the 1984 classic movie, but both are fantastic in their own ways. The movie is one of my all-time favorites, ranking I would say (although sometimes it changes) #2 on my all-time list only slightly behind The Goonies. I really like the book, and I am reading it here and there during slow periods at work. The boss wants us chasing customers all around when it is slow, but sometimes even that gets old so there is nothing else to do but read my book. This week has been VERY slow at work so I've read quite a bit.

Even though I have read the book before I am glad to be re-reading it. Much like a great movie, a great book is worth revisiting every now and then. In the book Bastian has all kinds of adventures, and things go way more in-depth than any of the movies. Reading the book actually makes me yearn for a movie version of the story that more closely follows the book. The original movie actually only covers the first part of the book, and it leaves parts out because of time and budget constraints. Plus limitations of technologies at that time. Funny I read online that Michael Ende hated the movie version of the story so much that he filed a lawsuit. OMG. HEY MICHAEL ENDE THE MOVIE IS FUCKING AWESOME SO STFU. A remake would never outdo the original, but it could still totally rock. Too bad the Neverending Story movie sequels were a bunch of crap.

I think a new 3-part movie series with a big budget and a great director (and of course a director who is a fan of the book) would be epic and potentially awesome. Hire Peter Jackson, give it the Lord of the Ring Dings special effect, but unlike LOTR make it more than just elves and hobbits walking for 10 hours. LOTR fans must hate me, but that is okay because I don't hate the LOTR movies, I just think they're are too long. A remade Neverending Story done right would make a lot of money, and it would make me very happy.

I was surfing around on the Interweb looking up stories of a potential Neverending Story remake. I found a couple, but they were spoof articles that gave me false hope. What a bunch of crap! Stupid fake news and joke articles. However, I did find a great little article that made me laugh out loud. Here it is:

http://www.syfy.com/syfywire/chosen-one-of-the-day-falkor-from-the-neverending-story-0

It's called "Chosen One of the Day: Falkor from The Neverending Story." and it is hilarious. Here is the funniest written part of the article:

"To this day, I’m fairly positive every '80s kid still secretly wishes they could ride their own luck dragon through the city streets and bowl over bullies and, mostly, avoid traffic. Both of those would be worth the cost of feeding him and picking up his luck dragon poop. Actually, he probably just eats horrible people and his poop is made of magic, so you could just sell it on Etsy or the Black Market. Be a hero with a luck dragon AND an entrepreneur."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wordsmithing at its finest. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

The end of the article contains one of the best treasures that I have ever found on the Internet that was not a naked woman.*

"Since the 80s are forever the best decade because it was loaded with kids acting a fool because parental supervision was a joke at best, here’s Chunk doing the Truffle Shuffle while riding Falkor. Come to think of it, this gif is the real Chosen One of the Day."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG IT IS CHUNK RIDING FALKOR WHILE DOING THE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN ON THE INTERWEB, EVER. THANK YOU PEOPLE WHO INVENTED THE INTERWEB SCREW USING IT FOR PORN AND EMAIL THIS IS 100000 TIMES BETTER.

Whomever made this is a genius. I would give credit, but I don't know who created it. Thank you infinity to whomever did. Combining my two favorite movies into one hilarious meme = brightens my day considerably.

I found some other very funny Neverending Story memes online including more Falkor jokes:

HAHAHAHAHA! I have a couple friends who could take lesson from that one above.

^AHAHAHAHAHAA! He did have unlimited wishes, though...

Next is Morla the Ancient One with an expression that I use on this bootleg site all too often:

^GREAT! I'll definitely use that one plenty of times in future crappy updates that no one will ever read.

In conclusion, both the book and movie versions of The Neverending Story are great in their own ways. The book really is a great story that expands greatly on the entire Fantasia universe. Fun fact, in the book it is called Fantastica not Fantasia. If you don't like the movie then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.

Man, the 1980s were epic.

*I have a hot wife so I have not searched for naked wommens on the Interweb for many years. Lucky me!

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Thursday, 3-22-18: No customers at all.
I have zero appointments schedued for today at JH, and even worse it is snowing pretty hard. What a bunch of crap! The forecast was very back and forth, and never exactly locked in. First last week they said look out, huge potential storm. Then they said nevermind it will go out to sea close but no cigar. Even as recent as yesterday they waffled between a forecast of 1-3 and 3-6" for us. Then I got up this morning to see no snow at all. AWESOME. Todd Gutner on channel 3 WLBZ said Bangor area was looking at an inch or less, and radar showed not much snow at all. Unfortunately, by around 0900 the snow started picking up and it was coming down hard when I drove to work. Epic fail.

Now they say 1-3" with it ending early PM. They better be right because F paying for more plowing. I'll tell the tenants to shovel! However, if we get a few inches I will just have to eat a metaphorical turd and have things plowed. The radar shows this pretty solid band of snow over us still, and that sucks. A lot. It's spring now so it's time for winter to make a retreat gods damn it.

^BETTER END SOON OR ELSE!

This extended winter has been a serious bunch of crap. I went for one jog at the end of Feb when we had false hope that winter was letting go, but since then the snow has piled on and we still have a shitload of snow on the ground. I feel like I could climb some of the snowpiles here at the WM and see the ocean. Thankfully I have stayed motivated with my exercising including plenty of weightlifting, some racquetball, and my elliptical. The elliptical sucks compared to jogging outside, though. Overall I feel pretty healthy, and it seems unfair considering how some others have fared lately.

I need to go to the midcoast this weekend to visit Dad. He's getting a hip replacement tomorrow, and at minimum he will need an overnight in the hospital. Depending on how things go he might even stay all weekend at PenBay. I don't really understand my family at times, and this hip-thing is one of those times. Mom keeps trying to talk me out of coming down, she wants me to wait until Dad is out of the hospital and home. I can understand why she might want me to visit because probably it sucks ass for Dad to be laying in some hospital bed and to be seen when uncomfortable and in pain, but F that I still think if I don't at least pop in for a short visit then I have failed as a son.

Speaking of having failed as a son, Jason will be out of town this weekend going snowmobiling so I guess it's up to me to represent since Doug is in Tucson. Jason wants me to stop by his house to get a gift for Dad and drop it off so hey at least that is a nice thought. I think I will go down to visit Saturday afternoon, but I might wait until Sunday depending on how things go. I plan to talk to Mom tomorrow evening after the surgery so we can pin stuff down at that point. Hopefully the surgery is a success, but poor Dad will have to be laid up for a while at home during his recovery. Kat knows all too well how that feel since she just had her left knee replaced a few months ago. Hopefully Dad recovers quickly, but alas we fear it could take a while since his hip has not been his only hurdle concerning health.

I have 242 tax returns done for bonus considerations. 59 more needed to reach my personal goal of 301. I am still slightly ahead of my pace from last year, but only barely so. The gap has closed because March has been a very slow month overall. The nor'easters don't help business. Hopefully after this bit more of snow coming today we get no more winter weather. After today I only have 18 more work days (assuming 5 days a week to the end) left of the season. Working M-F these past couple weeks has been great because I have had weekends off. Oh Jesus hell ya to that! Maybe I'll work one or two more Saturdays before the season ends, but I am perfectly okay with not. Tomorrow is payday, and it will be my lowest amount of the season. I "only" worked about 58 hours over the 2-week period, in part due to winter weather closing the place and in part due to scheduled off-time for Kat's heart ablation earlier this month. With each passing day I grow a little more excited for the season to end because I know with that comes warmer weather and the freedom to be my own boss again for most of the rest of the year.

I really hope like hell that come spring both Kat and Dad are doing great and are healthy. Poor Kat is still a long way from where she personally wants to be, but she is working hard to get there. Here I am lifting weights and using my elliptical, at times she has a hard time just walking across the house. Totally unfair. Thankfully her knee is much, much better. I told her she should work for JH next year, but maybe that won't really be a viable option. It would be cool, though. We both worked for JH in the winter of 2015, and on the one day her and I worked together here at the Bangor WM we totally crushed it and did HUGE business for the company.

Alright turd-nuggets, all two of youz, I gotta get off this bootleg site that no one ever reads so I can make a bank deposit. Goonies never say die!

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Monday, 3-19-18: Movies coming out this year. Bye Sears. Bye mall?
The weekend wasn't too shabby. Pretty quiet, relaxing at times, and it was nice not having a lot of things that needed doing. Kat and I decided to go to Sears to pick over what is left, and that worked out well for us. Sadly Sears is going out of business; that used to be my favorite store many years ago. Most stuff left now is 50-70% off, and we got some clothes and a new bed for a great deal. RIP Sears, I will miss you. The entire mall is in a world of shit these days. It looks worn, dated, and borderline obsolete. Hopefully the new owners who recently bought it can make it something respectable again. The mall "anchor" stores here used to be Sears, Macy's, JC Penny, and Dicks. Macy's is gone, Dick's is supposedly relocating from the mall, and JC Penny is also supposedly not doing so well. All bad for the mall. In general all malls across the USA are struggling. Shoppers are more likely to go online or come to a place like WalMart these days I guess. (Myself included!)

^RIP, Sears.

Saturday evening around suppertime we decided to go to the theater for the first time in 2018. The last movie we saw in the theater was Thor: Ragnarok (great movie) way back in November. Since then a few good-looking movies have come out, but between Kat's knee replacement and the JH job we just haven't been able to make it a priority. The last movie we saw together in the theater was a Marvel comic-book movie, and the one we saw this weekend was also a Marvel comic-book movie. Black Panther actually was released last month, but it has made a shitload and is still in theaters. I read it could be the 3rd highest-grossing movie in the USA of all-time behind Avatar and Star Wars 7. Wow! Black Panther was actually a decent movie so I am glad we went to see it.

I've never considered myself to be a comic-book movie fan, and I never had a comic collection when I was a little turd. Doug had comics, Jason had gadgets (anything electronic how fitting he owns his own A/V business now), and I had coins. Yeah, no one beat me at Monopoly back then either. I never got no tail either. What a bunch of crap! Oh well, if I had to do things all over again I would still have ridden my bootleg used bike to the Money Tree Coin Shoppe and built a collection. I don't think coin collecting is in vogue these days so probably my collection has little value above and beyond face value. One day I will dig it out and see... I never did buy that 1909-S-VDB Wheat Penny.

^One of the most valuable Wheat Pennies that I do not possess. According to my half-assed Google search it is worth at least a few hundred bucks even if it is in only fair condition. Mint conditions would = serious $$$$$$$$$$.

Some of the comic-book movies that I have seen over the years have greatly underwhelmed me, but these past few years it seems there have been more good than bad. Even the "bad" ones aren't terrible, though. Marvel seems to have the edge when it comes to making a GOOD comic movie, and their recent Thor, Guardians of the Galaxy, and now Black Panther movies have all been good to great. DC makes comic movies as well, but Justice League was not so good to me. Neither was Batman vs. Superman. Marvel > DC it seems. However, DC did make Wonder Woman and that was a good flick.

I knew Marvel was planning to release a much-anticipated movie this spring called Avengers: Infinity War. However, I was not excited for it and I almost didn't even care... whether or not I cared. This weekend changed that. Now that I've seen Black Panther and rewatched Captain America: Civil War I feel like I actually know what is going on in the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) and it *mostly* makes sense to me. I did need my Sweet Pea to explain a bunch of things to me over the weekend. The first time I watched Captain America: Civil War I didn't really know wtf other than a bunch of superheros fighting about shit, and some random dude who wore a black "panther" suit appeared every once in a while. I didn't like the movie because I didn't get the whole story, and now things make more sense so I am excited to see the new Avengers flick.

I think Infinity Wars will be the top-grossing MCU movie of all-time. Presale tickets sold out in record time, and I would guess there will be long lines in the theaters at the end of next month. Going on opening weekend = F that. Too many people. However, I do expect to go at some point in early May. Between now and then maybe we will go see something else in the theater, but most likely not. Pacific Rim: Uprising comes out next week, but I think that one can wait for home release. It doesn't look as good as the original anyway.

Will Infinity War be the best movie of 2018? Maybe. Just because something makes a bazillion dollars doesn't make it good. I see there is a new Predator movie coming in September so Oh Jesus hell ya to that! Also coming is a new Star Wars movie called Solo about the origins of Han Solo. It looks decent, but not epic. I feel like I have failed because I haven't even see the last Star Wars that came out around Christmas last year. What a bunch of crap! Other movies that might be decent to come include Jurassic World: Fallen Empire and Wreck-it Ralph 2. I'm sure there are a few others I didn't mention, but those are ones I saw in a quick Google search and I am not digging deeper.

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Saturday, 3-17-18: Happy St. Patrick's Day you droolbuckets.
Hey look, a holiday that I don't care about. Morla the ancient one from The Neverending Story would say "We don't even care... whether or not we care." Right now at this relatively early hour on St. Patrick's Day (0800) I'm sure some dedicated people are strolling into bars and getting their drink on. Huge booze holiday today, and maybe a decade or two ago I cared more about the drinking holiday(s.) Now not so much. Normally at this hour on a Saturday I would be bivouaced or just getting up, but for the second consecutive Friday Kat had the other DJ do karaoke at Jester's while she recovers from her heart ablation so we were asleep at our "normal" time of around 2200 last night.

I have the weekend off from JH again. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I thought I might play some racquetball, but Gav is out of town and Deno is sick so I guess it's my gym or nothing. Ah well, maybe I will play tomorrow if Deno feels better. For the first weekend in what seems like forever I really don't have much on the "to do" list. At least nothing that needs urgent attention. The last week at work was relatively slow, and getting a giant nor'easter midweek did not help business at all. We got a massive 23" of heavy, wet snow Tuesday PM into Wednesday. What a bunch of crap! The dogs loved it, but me not so much. I haven't gotten the plow bill for that one yet, but it will be a big bill. I'm guessing I'll get charged for 3 plows for that one storm.

^Wednesday morning the 14th. When we get that much snow at once the dogs kinda look to be swimming in it until they can stomp it enough to pack it down. When I put them out first thing that morning they both stopped right outside the door for a moment and I felt like I could see them thinking "WTF IS THIS?! Oh wait it is almost 2 feet of snow let's go playyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

It took me about two hours to clean up the snow. Our driveway, with Dillon, Debbie, and Katherine's help, took over an hour then I had to shovel some around my office/gym rentals. The snowblower was a HUGE help for our own driveway, but it still took a very long time.

^The dogs get tired and need to take naps after they play so hard outside. So funny they both ended up squeezed together like that on the couch. It didn't last long; a few seconds after I took the picture they got up because they knew I was getting ready to leave for work. Every time I get my coat and/or put my shoes on they get their hopes up that maybe they can come with me. Taking them with me to the gym every now and then has them conditioned to be excited for a potential little doggie-adventure. Sadly there is now too much snow on the ground so taking them to the park doesn't work too well. However, our own back yard is the perfect place for them to burn all kinds of energy. They love being out there in the fresh snow.

There is now only one month left of tax season. I'll most likely work 5 days a week for the next four weeks then the final Monday and Tuesday April 16th and 17th. That's 22 potential work days left, and I need to do 65 more to reach my personal goal of 301. Three per day should be do-able; I just looked at my tally from last year (did 308, but was paid bonus for 322 so my own count was a tad low) and I did 89 in the final month of the season. If I do that again then Oh Jesus hell ya! Our own taxes are done and filed as of a week or two ago, and we owe $1445 to the IRS and $328 to Maine. The balance due would have been more, but a pending IRA contribution will offset our taxable income.

For at least the past few years I haven't paid what I owe to the IRS until a day or two before the deadline. Actually, there were a couple or three years that I didn't even pay the total amount due until the summer. One year I don't think I paid my entire balance due until late in the fall. What a bunch of crap that was! Thankfully this year, thanks to the sale of my bootleg Bangor duplex, I can afford to pay it a month early. It is a good feeling being caught up on the bills. I hope to keep it that way.

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Tuesday, 3-13-18: Major blizzard. Again. Epic fail.
It is early afternoon today, and I am at work during the onset of what will be a major snowstorm. Blizzard warnings are up for the coast, and here inland a bit we are "only" under a Winter Storm Warning. It's all just semantics at this point because both us and the coast are expecting whiteout conditions later and a total of 14-24 inches of snow. What a bunch of crap! Latest radar as of about 1400:

When I got to work at 1100 there was no snow yet. I didn't expect to have jack friggin' shit for customers today, but I have actually done two tax returns and had a guy come in with some questions. Katherine is off work at 1530 so I'll pick her up in a bit; my shift here in my bootleg tax office will end around 1515. Right now there is already an inch or more of snow so I'm thinking the drive to Hannaford to pick her up and then to home will suck. Thankfully it's only a few miles of in-town driving.

The storm is expected to slowly meander north before it blows itself apart during the day tomorrow; we could still be getting acumulating snow tomorrow during the day. What a bunch of crap! I really hope we don't get two feet of snow because that much snow sucks to deal with. We got a 2-footer February of last year, and that was a bunch of crap. Back then I didn't have a snowblower so we had to epic shovel. Kat also had to get one of our neighbors to help plow because it was too much to shovel. I was gonna have my plow guy do it for us, but he no-showed. (He got terminated and I have a new, better plow company this season.)

I guess at this point half my wintertime bootleg updates that no one ever reads are my bitching about the weather. What a bunch of crap! I saw in the news we've already had 87" of snow this season, and after this one I guess we'll be over 100" with time left to tally more. Our average for a season is around 75-80" so needless to say my plow bills are excessive. Pwned. Rents will go up this spring/summer.

Including the two I did today I am up to about 230 paid bonus tax returns done for the season. That is slightly ahead of where I was a year ago, and I think as long as I work at least 4 days a week from here on out I will get to my goal of 301. Last year I finished at 322 so less than that is really a failure of sorts, but I'll be fine with "only" 301. The 300+ number is important because it marks a substantial bonus level reached. If I stay on my current track I think I'll get to 330-350. Not bad! I'll probably end up working 5 days a week for most of the 5 remaining weeks because the boss somehow thinks having me on duty is what is best for business. I sure fooled her! Hehehehe.

This week looks like I'll finish at 4.5 days because staying here til close would just be stupid. It will be NASTY outside later, especially from about suppertime into the night.

Poor Dad, he was supposed to have a hip replacement surgery today, but it was cancelled due to the blizzard and pushed all the way back to April 10th. What a bunch of crap! That really messes up their plans because Mom has a good chunk of this month off from work (toy store in Camden, season hours not much winter business this time of year) so the logistics of keeping and eye on Dad after his surgery will be a challenge. No doubt I will spend some time down there after tax season visiting and/or helping as needed.

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Sunday, 3-11-18: FOR RENT.
My old apartment, the one where I lived with a variety of different roommates/family/friends from about 1998-2012, will be available soon. The current tenant has lived there for almost two years, and he is buying a house with a closing date set for the end of next month. He was living there with his chick, but she pulled chocks at the beginning of the year because they had a massive falling out. She texted me to tell me he is a crack-head who is mentally unstable, and she was in fear for her life. What a bunch of crap! So far since she has been gone the guy has been great. No evidence of drugs, no riff-raff, no neighbor complaints, he pays rent on time, and he keeps a clean place. According to him she is the one with issues. Three sides to every story, right? Hehehe.

^The apartment has a bar, a gym, and a badass exclusive deck. It's my best apartment. It rents now for $960 monthly heat included, and like every single one of my properties it has an electric hot water heater. However, I have been researching upgraded hot water systems because all four of the hot water heaters at that property are 13 or 14 years old, installed shortly before I bought the place. For water heaters that is ancient, and two of them are leaking a bit right now:

^Two tanks themselves leaking a bit. What a bunch of crap! The leaks have not gotten worse so I am holding the line, but it needs to be fixed ASAP. In a perfect scenario it can wait until after tax season ends, and that is only five weeks away. The tenant closes on his house April 26th so I really would like to wait until he moves and take care of it all then. However, I'll most likely get it done before the end of April. Each day I wait is a risk that things get worse in a major way (tank blowout?)

My choices are to either just replace all four electric water tanks with brand new ones or to do a single-unit natural gas tank to feed the whole building. Replacing the four tanks with new ones would cost about $1600, and tenants would continue to pay for their own hot water. If I install a larger 75-gallon natural gas tank then I pay for the hot water, and I have to pay Bruce a few hundred or more for upgraded plumbing and venting. However, I can get a single tank for as low as $900 so that leaves $700 for Bruce and for B-venting. Plus I can raise rents since tenants will no longer be paying for their relatively expensive hot water. Gas hot water is cheaper than electric by a lot.

Edit: I am back and I actually met with Bruce around lunchtime! I texted him to see when we could meet, and things fell into place perfectly because he had some time at lunch so he took a look and gave me a few suggestions. I wasn't even expecting to meet with him until much later this month so score for me. He also was able to connect with Gavin since he and I both have a lot of work to do at our neighboring properties. I think I'll have Bruce start things for me at the very end of this month or early April, and I will hope like hell I don't have a blowout between now and then.

There are two water heaters that I am considering. First is an atmospheric vent 75-gallon unit that sells for $879.99 plus tax. I like the price of the water heater, but the atmospheric venting means I would have to spend $200-$300 on B-venting and run it from the basement up through two closets and out the roof. That's at least 30, maybe 40 feet of B vent. F that! I could do it myself (mostly), but it would be very labor-intensive.

The second water heater, and the one that I am most likely going to order, is this one:

Both units are sold at Lowe's, but the one pictured above is a power-vented unit that does not require such extensive B-venting. Bruce can run a PVC vent right out the side of the building, just a few feet, and he already suggested the best place to run it. Bruce can do that much quicker, and at a lower materials cost than B-venting with the first option. Seems like a no-brainer, right?

Not necessarily. I have been doing reading at various spurts on the difference in operating costs between the atmospheric and the power-vented units. There is no difinitive answer online about which one costs less to operate annually, but in general the atmospheric would cost less because it requires no electricity and no fan. However, there is a flip side to the atmospheric. Air can back-draft down the vent and compromise the air quality inside. Plus cold air can infiltrate. Lowe's actually lists the atmospheric annual cost at $400, and the power-vent one at $351. All I wanna know is why? Why does the power vent one cost less? I think it should be the other way around, but I guess the $49 per year, $4 per month, is not a huge difference overall. Since the power-vented unit has more moving parts it could fail sooner than an atmospheric unit, too. It also won't work in a power outage, but oh well to that because the ones there now also don't heat water in a power outage since they are electric.

The operating costs per year posted online means almost nothing to me because fuel costs vary. It is good to have a benchmark number, though. Bottom line is one single gas unit will cost a lot less for the entire building than will four separate electric units, one for each of the four apartments there now. The electric units cost several hundred a year each to run so that savings to tenants will offset my planned rent increases. If I do $30 more per month per apartment then that is $120 more a month for me. That is $1440 a year. Not bad! Even if it does cost me half that just in operating costs (very likely could) then I still end up ahead, and the entire upgrade will pay for itself in under three years. ($1200 for the unit, $800 for Bruce give or take.)

Getting back to my old apartment, the run-down and dumpy-looking place was $545 a month with heat included way back in September, 1998 when Doug, Jon, and I moved in. I'm renting it now for $960 a month, and I am advertising it at $1045 a month (with $25 off for timely rent payments so really $1020 for a responsible tenant.) Not quite double what it was from almost 20 years ago, but close. I actually think I will have several parties interested when I do give it a good advertising push, too. Over the years it has become a very nice apartment thanks to all the upgrades that I have done. Plus the current tenant is great about taking care of things and keeping it very clean. That helps for showings that I will schedule in the very near future.

I was going to advertise the apartment at $1015 with $25 off for timely rent payment so $990, but with the planned water heater upgrade I think the $30 more is quite fair. I hope! It is all just projecting, and I have to do it well or else it financially pwns me in the end. I have checked what other places are going for, and I feel like I am ok on my asking price.

Speaking of financially pwned in the end, here is another $400 plowing bill. $100 of that is for Gavin, though. He was in Atlanta for work last week when the last big snowstorm hit so he had to pay my plow people to plow his driveway. What a bunch of crap! I could have snowblowed it for him, but F that it would have taken a long time and I had my best friend/awesome wife in the hospital so that was the least of my worries.

Another big storm is coming Tuesday. Epic fail winter. Thank the gods who do not really exist that I hauled on my Bangor duplex so I actually have money to pay for all this stuff.

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Saturday, 3-10-18: A surgery and a snowstorm.
I only worked three days this week at JH because Kat had a very important and necessary heart surgery on Wednesday that required an overnight stay at EMMC that night. My Sweet Pea had been having a large number of PVCs (premature ventricular contractions), irregular heartbeats. Most people have at least some PVCs and that is okay, but when PVCs exceed a certain percentage of overall heartbeats then that is all bad. At times her PVC percent was as high as 25. OMG. When the heart has that many PVCs and does not get fixed then it means you do not live a long and healthy life because the heart will eventually fail.

Wednesday was a very long day because we had to report to the nearby hospital at 0530 to get checked in. The surgery started around 0800, and it took 5.5 hours to do the "ablation." Thankfully modern medical technology is a wonder so they did not need to cut her open. They inserted tubes through her femoral artery right up into her heart, and they essentially burned the part of the heart that was causing the PVCs. Sounds all bad to me, but they know what they are doing. Unfortunately for Kat, she had to be awake for most of the surgery so her heart would actually keep having the PVCs and they could identify the problem area. Needless to say that was not comfortable for her at all, and I feel badly that she had to go through it.

I finally got to see my best friend/wife around 1430 Wednesday, and thankfully at the time there were no PVCs. Unfortunately, some PVCs started sneaking back in so she is not 100% PVC-free yet. Poor Kat was very tired and overall beat from the very long, arduous surgery. I think the doctors did their best to be helpful and to fix her heart 100%, but from the way they described the process it tends to be somewhat of a guessing game because the heart is a very complex organ with lots of nodes and other highly functional moving parts. The heart is a fascinating organ.

I think that photo above (that I mooched from a basic Google search) is simple compared to all the actual stuff that is in a heart.

Kat spent the night in the CCU convalescing, and I spent as much time with her as possible. Unfortunately she had a "semi-private" room with just a curtain between her and some other lady so that kinda sucked. Plus the other lady was loud and stayed up late making noise so my poor wife got jack shit for sleep. What a bunch of crap! I actually slept at home Wednesday night because I felt there wasn't much room for me there, and plus we had a huge nor'easter incoming. It started snowing around bedtime Wednesday night with 12-18" total forecast snow. What a bunch of crap! I thought I'd wake up Thursday morning to a foot of snow, but thankfully there was "only" about a half a foot. Still enough to need to snowblow and shovel before I left to go back to the hospital. Thursday morning was a whiteout with very heavy snow so the 2-mile drive to the hospital was a bunch of crap. Thankfully EMMC is very close to the house, just across the Penobscot. As the crow would fly it's probably less than one mile away.

Kat was discharged from the hospital around noon, and by then the snow had let up a bit. We actually didn't get too much snow during the day Thursday after about 0830, but the storm lingered all day and gave us a few more inches into the evening so I'd say we ended up with a foot of heavy, wet snow. It was a big storm with a long duration so I'm nearly certain I'll be charged for two plows. What a bunch of crap! Another storm is possible Tuesday, too. This winter has been like a turd that will not flush, but thankfully lately there has been no brutally extreme cold air. Just overall way too much snow so the plowing bill is outrageous. Gods damn it.

I have the weekend off so I can spend some time hanging out with my awesome wife. I'll step out for a bit to lift some weights and to play racquetball, but I plan to be home for the majority of the time. Then next week it's back to the grind, M-F for a scheduled 40 hours at JH. There are only about five weeks left in the tax season. Even though I do like the tax job I'll be happy when it is over. The end of tax season is also the end of winter. Oh Jesus hell ya to that!

Hopefully Kat starts improving this weekend. She is still feeling beat from the entire surgery. They want her to take more meds, and that is a bunch of crap so she will try to recover without them and see how it goes. It is a letdown that she has had some PVCs still, but so far the frequency of them seems less. I am grateful to the doctors and the staff for the ablation because, even though the outcome is not ideal so far, the alternative was much worse in the long-run.

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Saturday, 3-03-18: Almost time to go to the bar.
Kat doesn't work at Jester's on Saturdays very often, but she agreed to work tonight in place of Eric because he is a professional wrestler, and he has a show in VT tonight. I just finished doing a decent little 30-minute workout in my bootleg gym, and I just shovelled in a little bit of food before I update this piece of crap site that almost no one will ever read.

Kat also worked last night, but I did not spend much time at the bar. After I helped her set up I went over to Gavin's to hang out for a bit and to help him do his taxes. He could probably just throw it all together himself on the Interweb, but sadly I talked him into buying his own personal money pit so because of the rental property stuff his is more complex. That building, what a financial black hole is has been for him since he bought it about four years ago. I still feel a little guilty and I feel like I owe him because I talked him into buying it. What a bunch of crap!

Gavin is such a good guy. He bought me a $230 racquet for helping him do his taxes so now I feel like I owe him even more. It only takes an hour or two to do his taxes so he always gives me more than I deserve because that is how he rolls. Hopefully in the spring and summer he will let me work on his house with him for free because I feel I owe him a lot. He plans to do a new roof as well as tons of interior work in the coming months. The building is a 3-unit, but the back apartment has been vacant for most of the time that he has owned the place because of extensive renovations. Doesn't help that our foundation contractor died last year either. What a bunch of crap that was! I still dunno how Bob died, but my guess is he was doing something really dumb.

^From July, 2014. Kat and I had just recently started dating then, and Bob had also done some foundation work for me at my Chamberlain St duplex. I said this of Bob during that bootleg crappy update:

"Bob, our foundation "contractor" is such a jiblet-head! Gavin and I have hired him for about $27,000 worth of work in the past year+. I've had him do $12,000 and Gavin is around $15,000. OMG! Plus the guy has had other work so all I wanna know is why? Why is he always broke? His van died/got repoed/whatever so lately he's been conducting his "empire" out of a rented UHaul truck. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He was driving around some old, half-rusted out Subaru wagon but then the brakes on that car died while he was driving around in Bangor. He was telling us how "He almost fucking died!" HAHAHHAA! He also gouged the hell out of the side of that car when he was texting and driving and drove into a guard rail. HAHAHAHAHA! Epic fail!"

Okay now that Bob did die that last paragraph seems somehow morbid and wrong. He died in a vehicle crash, too. No joke. Poor Bob, he was a collossal fuck-up in many ways, but he did a great job on the foundation work at our own house in 2015 so he seemed to be heading in the right direction in life.

^Also from around that same time, July 2014. Bob used a mini-excavator to rip off the back section of Gavin's house money pit. Since then Gav has rebuilt that part with a nice garage and a soon-to-be awesome huge deck. I helped for a few hours during that day back in 2014, and probably it all shortened our lifespans with all the asbestos-dust. That blown-in-insulation was all over the damn place. I am not really sure if there was asbestos, but I'm sure there was some unhealthy stuff in that debris that went into our bodies. The building is old so back in the day all bets are off as far as what nasty stuff went into the building materials. Not to mention mouse and rat shit, etc. What a bunch of crap!

The entire back section of Gavin's house was pwned back then. There were rotting boards and the entire thing was sinking into the ground. Now is looks great even though it is still unfinished.

I was telling Kat earlier about how long Gav and I have been friends and about how when we were seniors in high school I would ride to and from school with Gav in his red Oldsmobile (Cutlass Supreme?) and occasionally chip in for gas. After school Gav would come to the house, Mom would have snacks for us, and we would play video games. Mostly we played Bases Loaded for the NES and I would be LA. Wales was a beast. I won like 99% of the time, but we had fun. Now Gav wins 99% of the time when we play Rball so what goes around comes around!

^God I loved Bases Loaded. I dominated that game. It was innovative because I think it was one of the first Nintendo games that had voices. The ump would say things like ball, strike, out. They made a Bases Loaded II and I believe also a Bases Loaded III, but F those games the original is the boss. The players in the field looked like little pixelated bean bags. It was the best!

By today's standards the graphics were terrible, but for me they were great and still are great. If you think 80s video game graphics are too crappy then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.

Wales was the cleanup hitter for LA and hit home runs like a boss.

I was talking to my Sweet Pea earlier about our childhood. We had such a great childhood. If I believed in God I would say we were blessed, but F that religion is for simps. We were not rich, we were very middle-class if not lower-middle class. Mom and Pop lived paycheck to paycheck and when overtime started to dry up at the prison in the late 80s and/or early 90s due to state budget cuts Mom had to go to work at Oakside Video. That job of hers got us access to so many great NES and later SNES games. Not to mention all the movies... I miss video stores but not that much because on demand is pretty sweet.

Mom worked in the video-store industry for maybe two decades. Hell, it might have been closer to 30 years total because she was the manager of Harbor Audio Video in Camden until that business went under just last year. Now Mom works at some toy store in Camden, a neat little place if you have kids. I went in there once I didn't even care... whether or not I cared about the place. I hate kids so that is probably why I don't belong in a toy store. I like some toy stuff like model trains, but the store she works in looks like it is aimed at kids under 10 and tourists. F that!

Last night Jester's was jammed so full of people that I had to leave and come home for a bit. I didn't even get to the bar until a bit before midnight, and I stuck around for a few before I came home. The place was mobbed and I'm sure the owner is happy because they must have had a decent profit. Hopefully tonight the bar makes money, but for selfish reasons I don't want it to be too full because it sucks when there is hardly room to move. I know half the people there so I always have someone to talk to, but it is a small place and being that crowded sucks.

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Thursday, 3-01-18: New month, new outlook, fresh goals.
I just finished updating some of my Bootleg Properties Excel spreadsheets. I have a friggin' spreadsheet for just about everything. Does that make me a loser-ass? [Rhetorical question does not require answering.] As far as the apartments go, there won't be much financial meat on the bone over the next couple months because I still have heat to pay for. The Feb heat bill should be lower than the ass-fucking that I got in January, but I will not know for sure until the bills come in the mail. February was a few degrees ABOVE average for temp, but it was also above average for snow so I got hosed on plowing. What a bunch of crap!

The water bills all came in today, and nothing on those bills is too terrible. Brewer water and sewer is gods damned expensive, but thankfully the bill for our own house is "only" $200. It is a lot, but it is a steal compared to the $400+ we were paying a half a year ago. In additon to heat and water bills, I still have to pay the second half of the annual property tax bill for my old apartment and office/gym property so bye bye $3110 for that. What a bunch of crap! I just paid the $1253 semi-annual bill for the house across the street from my gym a couple weeks ago. Heat, water, and taxes always usurp my precious... precious money late winter and early spring and this year is no different. Thankfully I have the JH money coming in so we can get by okay.

This year so far I am ahead of the game, so to speak. Last year at this time I think I owed $5000 in property taxes, and I didn't pay those all off until the city threw a lien on a property and I got my final JH bonus pay in early June. I know there was a year in the recent past where I didn't even pay off one of my property tax bills until July. Epic fail there! For the past few years the city has had to lien a property because I have paid property taxes late so if all goes as planned this will be the first year in a long time where I pay my shit *mostly* on time. Awesome!

I still have some money set aside from the sale of my bootleg Bangor duplex, but it will go fast if I am stupid with it. The only big purchase we made since that sale was for a much-needed newer vehicle for my Sweet Pea. So far the 2015 GMC Acadia is doing just fine, but unfortunately Kat doesn't get to drive it too much because Katherine takes it to work. Katherine got her tax refund and wants to use it for a down payment on a car for herself, but we have to wait until the snow melts because right now with the GMC, my truck, Debbie's car, and Dillon's car there is no room for a 5th vehicle. Once tax season ends I can make more room by expanding the driveway so Katherine can get her own wheels and have a place to park.

The snow is melting fast. The sidewalks are mostly clear now, and it was a "balmy" 40 degrees yesterday morning so before I worked I went for a 2-mile jog. I had to stop and walk some of it because I am not in cardio shape at all. Plus my stupid right toe hurt so I limped along. I got brand new running sneakers, but they are not broken in yet. I hurt that foot way back in 2007 when Phil and I epic failed in the canoe while practing for the Soudabscook Canoe Race. We swamped the canoe and had to go to shore, but there was still a shitload of ice along shore. A huge piece of ice broke off and squashed that toe. The thing turned all black and blue, it was all bad. I remember that weekend I got drunk and tried to go bowling. I could not bowl because it hurt like hell. Pretty sure the beotch bar-wench there booted my drunk ass out that night, too. What a bunch of crap!

I probably wrote about that so maybe I can find it in the achives of this bootleg site that no one ever reads...

April 4, 2007:
Why does my foot hurt? It hurts because a giant slab of ice broke off from the edge of the Soundabascook Stream (Sou) yesterday and landed right on my hoof when Phil and I were trying to survive the rapids. It was a bit painful at the time, but I was pretty cold so I guess that numbed the pain quickly. In fact, after the initial sting wore off my stomper did not even hurt until later in the day when we were eating dinner. In hindsight, it was unwise to stand at the edge of the ice while both Phil and the canoe were perched atop it. However, I didn't realize it was overhanging and would land on me if it broke. What a bunch of crap!

^From nearly 11 years ago. Only one toe tends to hurt on occasion now, and it sucks when it hurts because it messes up my rythm gods damn it. The only times I feel pain is sometimes when I jog and sometimes when I do seated calves in my bootleg gym. It seemed for years it was not a bother, but in recent years it has been more noticeable. I guess now that I am older a little arthritis has set in. Oh well, there are two things I can do about it: nothing and like it.

I'm glad I went for a half-assed jog yesterday. Hopefully the weather is decent enough this month so I can jog a little here and there, bump up the cardio. I was sick for half of Feb so that sucked. A lot. March will be better.