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"I'm gonna give you three seconds. Exactly three fucking seconds to wipe that stupid-looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skullfuck you!" -Gunnery Sgt. Hartman to Private Pyle in Full Metal Jacket

Friday, 10-30-15: I'm a woman!
I put a dress on yesterday for the first time in my life. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I looked sexy, too. Just kidding about that last part, but I really did try on a dress. My Halloween costume this year is inexpensive and effective. Kat bought a red wig for around $10, and I am borrowing an older dress from Katherine to wear with my wig. I've never dressed up as a woman before so it will be fun. WalMart bags will stuff my bra so I will have boobs, too. Tonight is the annual Jester's Halloween party so after I lose at racquetball I will help Kat set up some of her lights and speakers before her and I both head home to get dolled up. Her costume is SEXY. Of course she could wear a tarp and I would still think it's sexy because that's how she rolls.

I'm leaving in about 10 minutes to go play racquetball so I just drank some of a Monster Energy drink. The last few times it's just been Mike and I 1v1 and I usually get crushed. Still get a good workout, just don't win. However, last week I actually won two of our 5 games. Nice! He wasn't 100% so I caught a break. This time Gav is joining us so he will be over to the office in a few minutes. We ride over together most times that we play since we live so near each other now. His place is just as torn apart as my place. We're both doing massive renovations, although his began 1.5 years ago so saying he is behind schedule at this point would be an understatement. He doesn't even have a schedule anymore at this point.

I need to make some changes in my life next year. I'm sick of being this frigging busy. It's about to be November, and I've only gone deer hunting once and lifted weights 3 times this month. What a bunch of crap! Thankfully I have jogged 42 miles and played racquetball a few times so I am getting plenty of cardio exercise. Plus the carpentry and earth work does help keep me in shape. Nevertheless not having enough time to get the things done that I want to get done each week is annoying so it needs to stop ASAP.

I have little hope of getting more precious... precious free time anytime soon either. I'm pretty much booked until the spring of 2016. What a bunch of crap! I will use what time I do have this weekend to tie up some loose ends and make a supply run in advance of Monday morning when I start replacing the roof of the property that I manage. The owners and I agreed to terms last night on the phone and through email; if all goes as planned I will make $1000-$1500 for myself after expenses. Sounds pretty good, but it's not that much for what will be a couple weeks worth of work on a very steep roof. However, I am not complaining because they need a break after getting royally fucked over by David Watson Sr. I am going to post his contact info on this bootleg site so you can avoid his loser ass like the plague, all two of you who actually read this crap.

David Watson, Watson's Home Repair and Demolition, 3 Benjamin Way Madison Maine is a total scumbag, puke, piece of shit. He bid on the roof job at that property for $4600, had his son and a helper do about 1/2 day's worth of work, and then shut down the work in demand of more money for various bogus reasons. Now he won't even talk to the owners, and he has a lot of their money still. He will not issue a refund so it looks like he will end up in court. What a bunch of crap!

Thursday, 10-29-15: OMG A BUNCH OF CRAP... LITERALY (PART II FROM EARLIER)
I started writing about this mess earlier today, but I didn't have time to finish because I had to take off to go do more cleaning in the creepiest basement I've ever seen. Now it's later at night here at tag's in Ellsworth, and I am on my laptop PC watching drunk people sing karaoke as I finish complaining about my shit-filled day.

The cellar at one of my bootleg rentals here in town has some issues. Those issues were made worse by a massive sewer blowout that I had to fucking wade through both yesterday afternoon and again this morning. It was horrible. It was a giant bunch of crap! The sewer line must have plugged up at least a week ago, perhaps several weeks ago, and as a result all the water had nowhere to drain so it just spewed out of a little 1.5” PVC connection. Why is that PVC piece there in the first place? That cannot be explained. Why did it not have a cap on the top? Again, that cannot be explained. Maybe it was capped but the cap blew off with the gas pressure. This frigging building had a sewer backup once already earlier this year and shit did not blow out of that pipe. Gods damn it. What a literal bunch of crap!

^That white powder is lime that I dumped down all over the floor, but underneath was a solid layer of raw, stinky, goopy sewage. The lime helped for sanitary purposes, but it was pure mush to walk through. My precious... precious pair of rubber boots will need to spend some serious time out in the rain so they can slowly decontaminate.

I had to pick and choose the photos that I could post because it was fucking disgusting. I could see corn kernals on the floor down there. Did someone crap out the corn or was it something that they washed down the drain? I did not see peanuts, but maybe they were there but camoflauged due to the darkness. There are a few lights down there, but most of the creepy cellar is shrouded in shadows.

The sewage blowout ranks as the #1 most disgusting thing I have ever had to deal with in the bootleg apartment business. It might be the grossest thing I’ve ever had to deal with, ever. One time several years ago I had to gut out a deer that had been half-frozen with shit in its guts and that was pretty gross, but no this was worse. (Salvaged all the meat from that deer!) I do not know how the tenants didn’t notice the rank smell coming up from the heating vents sooner. Thankfully they did notice it and they called me before the raw sewage could really soak into the cellar, although it was already soaked in pretty good by the point I arrived.
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I filled two 5-gallon drywall buckets literally full of shit earlier today during cleanup. Thankfully the shit was mixed with lime so it wasn’t as gross, but still it was “only” a 9 instead o a 10 on the grody-scale. I took a picture of my limeshit concoction and be forewarned it is fucked up. Actually, nevermind it is too disgusting to even post onto this bootleg site. You know it's all bad when even I won't post it! That shit was heavy, too. Probably weighed 80 goddamn pounds, as much as a full pail of joint compound and/or paint. I capped those two pails and into the dumpster they went. Let’s hope the lids stay on securely until they can make it to the dump/landfill.

In addition to the raw shit all over the place I had to clean up old pieces of insulation and other debris that had become SOAKED. A scrap piece of insulation that should have weighed less than a pound weighed several pounds, and shit-water dripped from each piece when I picked each one up. What a bunch of crap! Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse they kinda did, but hopefully not really. Let me explain. I was in this corner digging out fucking rancid sludge mixed with mystery slime when I heard water gurgling and the puddle there started to disappear. Hey great I want the standing water to disappear. Unfortunately, I realized it was draining right near where the old cast iron sewer main drain line goes into the ground, outside the house, and into the great city abyss [cough:PenobscotRiver:cough] Oh no! A caved in sewer line there would be all bad. I fished around for a while through the mud, shit, slime, etc. and eventually came to the conclusion that the pipe is mostly if not entirely intact there so for now I will hope it’s ok.

^You can sorta see the pipe there before it elbows down into the unknown earthly abyss. I have a feeling this will be a costly repair so hopefully it holds up until next year or even longer. What a bunch of crap!

For sure I will need to do some work at that house next year. Perhaps sooner if I do have some sewer line issues that reappear. Snaking the line at a few hundred bucks a pop plus the added cherry on top of having to clean up shit from all over the floor is not my idea of good times. Earlier this year a clog was caused by roots, but this time it’s not known for sure. The guy had his little camera with a screen so I got to take a visual trip into the bowels of the pipe all the way to the city main, but we did not see roots. There is a spot where my pipe dips down some so perhaps that is where stuff catches up? Even the guy couldn’t be certain.

The cellar of this house is fucked. First, it has a very low ceiling. Perfect for a midget but not so great for me. Second, it’s very damp. So damp that in only 6 years a brand new outlet looks like this:

What a rusty bunch of crap! I need to get that under control or else everything down there will rot away including the furnace. Already some of the overhead beams seem a little punky in spots. Not good. Having this frigging former Silence of the Lambs pit down there is not good, either. Check out this shit:

OMG. It’s mostly filled in with stones, but at some point did Buffalo Bill keep people down there and say “It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. It puts the lotion on its skin. PUT THE FUCKING LOTION ON!” (I think I wrote about this creepy pit on this bootleg site years ago? Or I am having some déjà ,vu.) A horror movie scene or hell, an entire horror movie itself could easily be filmed down there. Thankfully I did not get eaten by the sewer CHUDS so I can still blog about my terrible experience!

I need to get that horror-movie-pit cemented over so water can no longer collect there. I have a feeling that is the main source of my moisture issues. I did shop-vac a lot of the water out, but I am sure it will come back like a turd that does not flush. When it rains outside I think the cellar takes on some water, and the frigging furnace drains into that pit so that doesn't help either. It's just a slow drip, but it adds up. What a bunch of crap!

The Greatriots just finished crushing Miami, 36-7, and God Brady went 24-38 with 356 yards and 4 touchdowns. So far this season The Pats are 7-0, and Brady is totally dominating. 20 touchdowns, and only one interception that wasn’t even his fault. Not bad for someone who is 38 years old now and borderline ancient in terms of NFL tenure. Tom Brady > Jesus.

I hope I don’t have to clean up any more sewage from that property. If the main line needs to be replaced that will not be cheap so my fingers are crossed that things work from now on, or at least until next year when I will have more time and money and can get it all replaced. It won’t be cheap, that’s for sure. What a bunch of crap!
I am pwned as far as free time goes. Game over, man. (Paxton voice from Aliens.) I will be helping Kat with her gigs tomorrow and Saturday, I have to do some work on the house, and I have to start a roof on Monday. Opening day of rifle season for deer hunting is Saturday, but I can forget about that. I did want to go hunting with Pop for a couple days next week, but this roof will use up my precious… precious time so nevermind. Maybe mid-month when the roof is done I can go down for a couple days, if Pop isn’t tagged out by then. He’s an awesome hunter so he probably will get a buck soon. (No doe tags this year. What a bunch of crap!) Jason is already done. Last week or the week before he shot a 4-pointer with his bow. Jason and Pop > me when it comes to hunting. Oh well, Me > Jason and Pop when it comes to cleaning up shit in a horror-movie cellar. What a bunch of crap!

Thursday, 10-29-15: OMG A BUNCH OF CRAP... LITERALY!
I was plugging away on the home renovation, putting the finishing touches on a door install and the last of the sheetrock for Kat's soon-to-be studio yesterday just after lunch when I got a phone call from one of my tenants. They smelled what they thought was gas in the house so they wanted me to come check it out. Thankfully the house is close to most of the bootleg rentals here in Brewer so I was there in only a few minutes. I didn't smell any gas smell when I was upstairs in the kitchen so I headed down into the basement to take a peek. Uh oh.

It was gas they smelled, no doubt about it, but it wasn't natural gas from the heating system like they thought. Nope, it was methane, shit, gross, nasty gas from a FUCKING SEWER LEAK. SHIT WAS ALL OVER THE FUCKING FLOOR DOWN THERE AND IT HAD RUN LIKE A RIVER ACROSS HALF THE FRIGGING FLOOR. GROSS. It stank, too. Thankfully I have a good stomach or else it would have made me puke. Probably if I didn't have this bootleg site to post crap like this onto then it would have been a lot worse.

When I was down there one of the tenants flushed the toilet and I could see where water and sewage was gushing out of a pipe. It spewed right out! Thankfully none spewed onto my ass, but it was closer that I would have liked. The main line had backed up, and a cap must have popped off a short piece of 1.5" PVC that connects to the main line so that was the source of the shit-ejections. If not for that missing cap then the pipes would have backed up all the way into the house.

I had to get Nichols Plumbing over to the house again since Bruce doesn't do that kind of plumbing work. Bye bye $187.50, but money well spent to clear the clog. Nichols Plumbing has treated me well, but I hate to use them because I know it ain't gonna be cheap. Not complaining too much about the price because I'm sure their price isn't much different from Roto Rooter or any of the others, but man it sucks. They deserve to be paid well for wading around in shit unclogging drains.

Monday, 10-26-15: The first of the sheetrock. 8 down, roughly 92 pieces to go.
I installed some sheetrock in what will soon be my lovely wife’s studio today. My original schedule had me installing the sheetrock 2.5 weeks ago, but better late than never, eh? My original schedule is hauled on because it was unreasonable. I did manage to stay on track for the first 1.5 months, but since then not so much. I figure I will have a total of about 100 pieces of 4x8 sheetrock to install all total for the entire house renovation and so far I've installed 8.

^The studio will require about 14 full sheets and a few scraps for some edges and above the door, and the ceiling will be a suspended ceiling installed after all the wall mudding, taping, sanding, and painting is done.. So far I have 7 pieces of 4x8' sheetrock installed in that room. The rear wall needs insulation still. All that stuff in the foreground is piled in the middle of the room; it will look a lot bigger once the room is 100% done and we move that pile of belongings, tools, and supplies.

Starting the sheetrock is a great milestone for the project because that’s when the rooms really take shape. I actually installed my very first piece of sheetrock yesterday afternoon upstairs, just one piece, so I could frame a closet. Doing the closets is often easier if you install some sheetrock before you do the framing. Less sheetrock cutting.
I keep track of the hours that I work on the home renovation, and yesterday I passed 300 total hours mark. I’m sure I will need at least another 200 hours to finish the entire job, maybe even another 300 hours, so I’m near or a tad past the halfway point. I had plumbers, electricians, and my new heating contractor over here yesterday so it was busy. Thankfully I did find a little time to watch the Greatriots beat the Jets to improve to 6-0 on the season. I also had time to go for a jog. Nice! Sometimes I just don’t have enough time to make it all happen.

^The first piece of sheetrock went upstairs yesterday. That slider was very frosty when I took the picture this morning. 27 degrees outside and probably close to the same inside out there. No heat yet in the new space, but that is coming soon.

I’m more than likely going to have to take a break from the renovation here at the house for a couple weeks to do this roof:

^About 1/2 day's worth of "work" was done earlier this month before they disappeared. What a bunch of crap!

As the two of you who actually read this crap know all too well it’s been an epic fail trying to get the “contractor” whom they hired to do any work on that roof. He has excuse after excuse and now I don’t even think he is communicating with them at all. What a bunch of crap! That means they need someone else, and since I am not gonna be working at the USPS this year I will have time to do it. I’ll even make a few bucks in the process, precious… precious money that will help make up for the lost income of not doing the seasonal USPS job.

The owners emailed me a rough draft of a contract to review this evening so they appear to be pretty serious about getting my ass to work on their house. I don’t want to start too soon in case the other Giblet-Head decided to get his pathetic shitbag ass back to work on the place, but I think the deadline for his completion as spelled out in his contract has expired. I’ll give it another day or two at least, just to be sure, and rain is coming tomorrow night into Thursday so the soonest I would start is Friday. I might even wait until next week because this weekend will be busy for us all. Kat has gigs Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. Friday is the annual Jester’s Halloween party and Saturday is Tag’s Halloween party. I have part of a costume, but not all of it yet.

Friday, 10-23-15: A few funny photos that have accumulated.
Sometimes I just need to use this bootleg site as a dumping ground of sorts for the funny things that I happen to save up, and tonight is a perfect night for such an occasion. Kat is at Jester's, I just finished my rent invoices for next month, and I am finishing up a $1.49 Bud Light Lemon-Ade beer "Margarita with a twist." Thank you, Tim's Little Big Store in Old Town. This drink probably passed its expiration, if it even has one, but drinking expired booze never killed anyone I ever knew. Right? Hehehehe.

^The bottom of my can says 15241 VE13. All I wanna know is why? Why do they gotta put that gibberish on there? The price was cheap and I am not dead yet so let's call it a win for the time being.

Man, for some reason all I wanna do right now is listen to Huey Lewis and the News. I have that song "Back in Time" stuck in my head, but at the moment it's "I Want a New Drug." Funny considering I don't ever want a drug. However, I have decided that lately some caffine gives me a little extra boost. I got 3.5 hours of sleep last night (a little more than Kat) so I drank one of those Monster Energy Drinks before I played racquetball. That shit will kill me, but probably the atmosphere itself will kill me so oh well. The energy drinks do help me lose a little less at racquetball. I think. Maybe?

Walking on a Thin Line, one of if not the best Huey Lewis and the News songs. If you don't like it then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I will hate you just a little less if you agree with me.

First is a little political humor. Donald Trump is running for president in 2016, and right now I am slightly inclined to vote for the guy. He has problems, mainly a huge frigging ego, but he does know how to run a business and he is not afraid to speak his mind. The nation needs that in the White House. Unfortunately, this might be the new White House if Trump gets elected:

^AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Nice one, Interweb.

Next is this gem in an email FWD from Pop, the same one that had Trump's White House in it:

^AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Funny because Obama is like a Stooge. He is woefully inept, but unlike the Stooges he isn't even funny. Moving on...

Over the summer the tenant at my old apartment mentioned that he's seen some bees when he went up and down his porch steps, and his dog even got stung. OMG THAT THING IS HUGE. About 1000 bees (wasps I think?) lived in that hive so I eliminated it with some bee killer spray. I hate to do that, but there really is no other option. You can't just politely ask a hive of bees to move to a new home. You get stung a lot if you try. A lot.

^Back in 2008 I impolitely asked a massive hive of wasps to move when I blueberry raked into them, and that was my bad because I got stung in the face and my eye swelled shut. What a bunch of crap!

Next on the funny failure list is the last wedding that Kat and I did a couple weeks ago. Look at this shit! It truly was a white trash wedding. Their home was so gross that neither Kat and I would even use their bathroom. The place was DISGUSTING. I don't even know how they afforded a DJ for the wedding. Kat gave them a break on the price because it was friends of friends sorta thing, but still holy crap that was one for the ages. Most bootleg wedding, ever. The bride was saying how she had a crush on some other guy who was there, a co-worker of the groom. She said that to Kat ON HER FUCKING WEDDING DAY. Different kids, different fathers, check. That's a union doomed to failure. What a bunch of crap!

OK, I am out of Huey Lewis (I need to download more!) so for now it's onto Iron Maiden, Stranger in a Strange Land. I love this song, it truly rocks. If you don't like it then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I will hate you a little more if you disagree with me.

Next in line for a posting on this bootleg site that almost no one reads is this photo:

I got that statement in the mail a couple months ago from the Social Security Administration. I made $41,987 in 2002. 2003 wasn't too shabby either. However, fast-forward to 2011-2012 and it was a total joke. I was a pauper! I guess those years I blew all my money on the rentals. And beer. However, I drink cheap beer so I don't think I wasted that much. Plus beer expenses don't show up on a W-2 at tax time. Booze should be a write-off, though. I made more in 1994 as an E-2 or whatever in the Navy than I made three years ago. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The one thing that statement doesn't show is the Bootleg Properties income since that goes on a Schedule E so I'm really not as bad off as that thing indicates. Good thing I'm not planning on Social Insecurity for my retirement or else I would be pwned. Bigtime. Probably by then the government will be toast anyway when I am 67 years old because we will fail so I will just have to buy more silver, booze, bullets, and arrows from now until then.

Next, from last year I believe Kat took this picture here in the neighborhood. It was broad daylight, early afternoon, and one of the kids was dancing on a chair:

^HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He was just hanging out, ripping out tunes on a radio and dancing on that gross chair/couch/thing. Those people always have some bootleg crap for sale out front at their place, and they used to rent off me years ago. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Love how you can see my Goonies shirt in the mirror. I think his dad was boozing it up already, and it wasn't even late in the day. What a bunch of crap! This neighborhood, what a place. It really cannot be explained.

Finally in my collection is this funny They Live movie spoof. They Live is a great movie, and if you disagree then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I will hate you a little more...

"I have come here to chew gum and kick ass, and I am all out of bubble gum." Classic quote! RIP, Rowdy Roddy Piper. This is another fantastic Interweb creation from someone who is probably a scumbag in real life, but at least online something positive came of it.

Jane's Addiction, Jane Says (Steel Drums version) is their best song.

Alright scumbags, all two of youz, I need to get off this bootleg thing so I can head on down to Jester's and see my awesome wife. Maybe I will have a beer and attempt to karaoke a Huey Lewis and the News song. However, I do society a disservice when I drunkenly sing songs so nevermind. Goonies never say die!

Thursday, 10-22-15: My final USPS decision and more on the roof fiasco.
My first update was early this monrning, and now it's late at Tag's in Ellsworth. There are a lot of drunk singers tonight. Poor Kat, she feels like 10 pounds of shit stuffed into a 5 pound bagI won’t be working at the USPS as a seasonal mail beotch this fall. I had the opportunity, but I pissed it away when I flew through my online application and didn’t put some stupid little 2005 misdemeanor on the thing. I did the application quickly because I worked there last year, and they were the ones who wanted my ass to come back, so I thought the paperwork would be just for show. They sent me a letter that said “Dear Steve we all love you in a man-crush sorta way so please come back and work with us again this coming November and December.” Of course that sentence is a blatant lie, but they really did invite me back.

So I fucked away my application and I got some generic “DENIED” email because I blew it. However, the local HR guy called me and said we can maybe fix it if I come in and do a little write-up explaining why I was a Giblet. I said okay great I will come in, but then I thought about it more, Kat and I talked it out, and we both agreed the right thing for our family now is a thanks but no thanks to the USPS. I don’t have enough free time now and I don’t even have a “real” job so screw taking on some seasonal job that will pull me away for 50-55 hours a week for 6 grueling weeks between around Thanksgiving and Christmas. F that!

^I made my own luck. Oh well, it happens.

No USPS for me. Maybe I screwed myself for future years, but hopefully I will get my financial shit in a pile and not need to work there anymore, ever. Hopefully I can make enough off the bootleg rentals and the winter tax job to make ends meet. Then I can have more free time to do fun things like hang out with my awesome wife, exercise, hang out with my awesome wife, go hunting, hang out with my awesome wife, play racquetball, hang out with my awesome wife, etc.

Work to live, not live to work gods damn it. This year I have been a financial Giblet-Head, but we’re not in the hole and we are building a ton of equity that should reward us in future years.

I might have a chance to make extra money replacing the roof at the property I manage. The droolbucket whom they hired off Craigslist, what a bunch of crap that situation is. I have wasted tons of my precious… precious time already dealing with that mess. Since I wrote about it last we’ve had the "wonderful" opportunity to email a few more times. Check out what this assface “contractor” has to say:

From Sunday evening in an email directed at me:
The add did not say anything about a 3rd layer of shingles and there are 3 layers dumb ass. Also I miss read the add. There are 3 layers and I did not give a contract on 3 layer dumb ass. I am tired of arguing about this, I need another $800.00 for the 3rd layer of shingles. I will consider the 2nd layer as part of the contract, but I need the $800.00 up front for the 3rd layer of shingles, before we do anymore work. I have given an estimate on another job and I am waiting for their answer and if I get it, before I get the $800.00 on this job, this job will be waiting until spring. Richard called me today and left a message, against me saying I did not want him or you calling me.I am just going to ignore his and your calls. We can take care of this rite on here.

AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG HE CALLED ME A DUMB ASS YET WE CAN ONLY TAKE CARE OF IT “rite on here.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Of course we owned his pathetic loser ass with this reply:

Please note the important following part of the original ad that pertains to your dispute: "On the main roof , there is one layer of asphalt shingles, covering another layer of about 60-year-old shingles that are crumbling. I do not know the condition of the bare wood under all the shingles; but know there have been no leaks to date. We recommend you visit the House and see the roof, from inside the attic, and see the outside layers of roofing."

The owners even disclosed in their craigslist ad that there were two layers of shingles! I also sent him a photo after I climbed my ass up onto the roof along with this email “There are only two layers of shingles. Please see attached photo. You misread the ad and I am the "dumb ass?" Real professional attitude you have. Please call or email the owners since I know you prefer not to deal with me.”

He was owned, and he knew it so all he could reply was this to the owners:

Dear Richard, I talked to my workers and found out, that they thought the upside down shingles counted as a layer, so I told them they were wrong and told them the difference. So Steve is right, there is only 2 layers of shingles like he said. The way there is only 2 layers, the contract covers them. But we have another problem, while I was talking to my men I found out the main roof is sagging and drooping in places. The whole roof is going to need under layment, not just part of it. I will not touch the roof unless you have us put down under layment. I will charge you an extra $1,300.00 to do the under layment, to be paid up front. If you disagree with this arrangement, keep in mind we will not be doing anymore work until we have a deal. Keep in mind, that if you want to contact me, please do it on here. Thanks.

OMG IT NEVER ENDS WITH THIS FUCK-TARD. “So Steve is right.” GOOD. Nice job calling me a dumbass in your prior email. How professional is it to call someone a dumbass in an email in a supposed professional setting? This shit is reason #876,345 why I sometimes root for an asteroid to just hit the planet and reboot society. I just want this fucking guy to get shot in the face and die. After he issues a refund of course.

“But we have another problem… I will charge you an extra $1300 to do the underlayment to be paid up front.” WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! The underlayment is just fine, and there is really no way to tell WHILE FUCKING SHINGLES ARE STILL ON THE FUCKING ROOF. Thankfully the owners have told the guy it is time for his “dumb ass” to issue a refund and GTFO. The latest email to the owners from Mr. Giblet:

We are going to finish the job in the spring. It's getting to late in the season to finish the job. I don't want my workers and myself to fall off an frosty or wet roof. There is frost on the roofs in the morning and then that changes to the roofs being wet. You say the under layment is fine, I believe you. So I will not be charging for under layment . But the job is going to have to be completed in the spring. I would say probably March or April 2016. I promise you, that we will finish the job in the spring. There is snow in the forecast for next week, from what I heard. We are not going to take any chances of getting on any roof. You will just have to deal with it. It's our lives not yours. Remember don't call me period. We can talk on here. There is no reason why we can't.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HE IS A TURD THAT WILL NOT FLUSH. He can’t even correctly use the English language, but that’s a flame for another day. There is no excuse for this crap, none at all. All I wanna know is why? Why did he start the job in the first place if he thought this time of year was too late? His contract said the job would take two weeks “Two weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkssssssssssssssssssss” so this flimsy see-through excuse is worthless, too. He is going to get absolutely CRUSHED in court if it goes that far, which I hope it does. Maybe he will just issue a refund as the owners have demanded, but I doubt it.
It’s not too fucking late in the year to do roofing work. I’ve done roofing in frigging December, January, and February. It totally sucked, but it can be done. Back in 2007-2008 check this out:

^It snowed something like 54 inches that December. What a bunch of crap! I remember things were ok until about the end of November and then a switch got flipped and it was instant winter. A lot of years that happens, although 54 inches of snow in one month is quite unusual [cough:Feb2015:cough]

To complicate the issue further, the owners are talking to some other “contractor” who replied to their Craigslist ad so I hope they don’t get burned once more. I plan to offer them a price of about $5200 to do the entire job for them, and I can get it done end of this month and into early next month. If they don’t want to do that then no problem, but it’s a very good price considering my original bid was $5800. I actually think they would have accepted my $5800 price, but when I gave them that bid I said I can’t do it until the spring because I thought I would be going back to work at the USPS. Obviously now that I won’t be returning to the USPS I will have the time to do it for them.

I’m sick of writing about this gods damned roof. It’s a thorn in my side gods damn it. The end.

Thursday, 10-22-15: The USPS wants me still... I think.
I've hardly been able to work on the house renovation at all since midweek last week because I've had all kinds of apartment work to do. Having turnover at two different apartments kept my ass very busy. Neither apartment needed any major work done between tenants besides some basic cleaning and painting, but there was this rot over at my Bangor duplex that needed to be dealt with:

^What a bunch of crap! That was way worse than it looked, too. It's on the back side of the house so in the winter when there is snow on the roof ice starts to build up in that corner as the snow slowly melts then re-freezes in the shade. Then, when the ice build-up would start to melt water would find its way into the building. Every year it got a little worse and last winter I had some minor water damage. It dripped into the downstairs front bedroom and left some stains on the ceiling so I repaired that as well. No major outlay of money for the work, just a few hours of my precious... precious time including the exterior repairs. I should have fixed it sooner in the year, but at least now it's pretty much done. All I have left on the exterior is some more caulking and painting. That shouldn't take long at all.

Ed from the USPS called me yesterday, and he told me why I got this email last week:

...A review of your application for this position determined that you do not meet
the eligibility or suitability requirements listed on the vacancy announcement.
Therefore, you will not receive further consideration for this vacancy.

Apparently when I did my application online I didn't indicate that I have a class D (or E?) misdemeanor on my record from way back in 2005. Oops, my bad. Since I worked there last year I figured getting hired back would be pretty easy so I just flew through the application, and I didn't really read through it all. Some of my info was already in there from last year so I just missed that part. What a bunch of crap! My bad there. He said I can write up a statement and they can try to fix it so I can still work there, I said okay I will come in today at noon to get it taken care of. However, after he and I talked I began thinking about it more as I shot a few arrows from my bow out back. Then I thought about it more as I shoveled the dog shit over the fence (having a swampy area out back in the woods behind the fence is great. Bye bye dog shit!), and I really don't want to go back to work there. I didn't hate the job last year and the pay was great. However, my time is very precious this fall because I want to mostly finish the house renovation, at least to the point that the studio, bathroom, and one of the bedrooms is functional. I'm already behind schedule by a couple weeks on this home expansion, and there is no way I will finish it by the time that USPS job would start on November 16.

The con of the USPS job is the lost time for sure. I'd work 50-55 hours a week most weeks there. Not only would I lose time to work on this house, but I would also lose time to spend with the family (Thanksgiving and Christmas eve I would work), to go deer hunting, to play racquetball, etc. However, we really could use the money so the obvious huge plus is financial. The pay is damn good for the work that I would be doing so in about 6 weeks I could make close to $5000 (probably $3500 after taxes.)

There is no guarantee that if I go in there and try to fix the error I will even get hired. Ed said my chances are 50/50 at this point. I know they all want me back at the local plant, but so much of their hiring system is controlled by their higher government power. My guess is they would find a way to get me back there, but now I have to decide what the right thing to do for the family is. I need to decide fast, too. My meeting with Ed is supposed to be at noon, and it's almost 0700 now so I am down to only a few hours. Right now I am thinking I will talk to Kat about it one more time and, if she agrees with me, I can call Ed and tell him thanks but no thanks I already lined up other work. It won't be a lie because I do have other work to do. Plus I might end up doing the roof over at the property I manage. That situation has taken another zany turn, and hopefully I can write about that twist next update.

I assumed the USPS wasn't gonna hire me this year because I owe the IRS a few hundred dollars still. I had no idea it was because of that stupid misdemeanor from 10.5 years ago. I remember getting that as a result of some party we had at the house. Doug was there for part of it, and he ended up punching some underage guy out in the street. That caused a ruckus, the cops came, and I got charged with providing a place for minors to get drunk since I am the owner. Both Phil and I were supposed to get summoned to court for that crap, but I called the DA and ate the penalty all alone. The DA lowered the charge to a disorderly conduct, and Phil paid the ~$300 fine. No big deal, but now it is a little bit of a bummer because it's still on my record. Thanks, Doug. What a bunch of crap!

I really don't give a fuck about that being on my record. I allowed underage people to drink at my house many times when I was younger so I made my own luck. Part of life. It didn't even cost me the job; if I put it on my application there would have been no worries. I guess I did put it on there last year, but I just forgot to put it on again this year. What a bunch of crap!

In other news, the Cubs got swept by the Mets in the NLCS so the Back to the Future II prophecy ain't happening. In that movie Marty McFly went to the future and arrived at 1629 on October 21, 2015. In that version of the future the Cubs won the World Series. Yesterday was sort-of a "Back to the Future" day because, obviously, it was Oct. 21, 2015.

^Sorry Gav, no luck for the Cubs again this year. I was rooting for them since the Red Sox sucked this year. What a bunch of crap!

Sunday, 10-18-15: The rest of the roof fiasco story.
I didn’t have time last night to finish writing about the property that I manage so hopefully this morning I can finish the tale of woe and deceit. However, Bruce and his helper are here doing my plumbing work so maybe I will get pulled away before I can finish.

The owners and I have been trying since late August to find a decent contractor to re-roof their property, but we have either gotten no responses, prices that are too steep, or Giblet-Heads who have obvious issues and who get DENIED quickly. Finally we did find someone who had potential, the owners hired him, and they paid him his 50% down payment last week so he can start the job. He had his son and some other guy start working on the porch roof Thursday:

Great, forward progress. Unfortunately, on Friday we got this email from the guy:

We have a problem people. While my son and one of my other workers were roofing the porch roof, they noticed, that the main roof of the house has 3 layers of shingles and Steve had told me there was one layer of shingles on the main roof. That causes a big problem. With 3 layers of shingles instead of one, it will cost you and extra $1,200.00 on top of what you are already paying for the job, with the $1,200.00 up front. It will take us longer to complete the job also, about a week longer. You people should have told me there was 3 layers of shingles. As soon as I receive the additional $1,200.00, we will go back to work. Steve should have been honest with me and told me there was 3 layers of shingles.Let me know when you deposit the money. If you wait to long, snow will be on the ground and we will have to wait until spring. Let me know. Please email me with any responses, as I don't want to tie up my phone, as I am expecting phone calls on my wife, who just had a stroke last weekend, so no phone calls please. The same goes for Steve. Thanks.

OMG YOU LYING PINKO PIECE OF SHIT! I NEVER TOLD HIM THERE WAS ONLY ONE LAYER OF SHINGLES ON THAT ROOF. HE IS USING THAT AS A BARGAINING TOOL TO TRY AND RIP OFF THE OWNERS. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

Red flag, he doesn’t want to use the phone. This guy, what a piece of dump he is. He gave them the quote before I even knew that he existed, and it’s on him to look at the roof beforehand and then make a quote. I would never have told him there was only one layer of shingles on the roof, ever. The owners and I are in agreement that he will not be reveiving another dime from them. He is to get back to work and do the job as contracted. I wrote this to him:

David, this is totally unacceptable. I never, ever told you there was only one layer of shingles on the roof. My guess is the main part of the house does not have three layers, but I have no clue. Don't ever put words in my mouth or try to use me as a bargaining chip for more money. My word is my bond, and I don't lie. It is YOUR responsibility to give a quote based upon your inspection of the roof, and you did just that. Perhaps the porch has three layers and the rest of the roof has one or two? I own a duplex in Bangor, and that porch roof had literally 6-7 layers of shingles! However, the rest of the roof had one, maybe two (did the roof several years ago so I can't recall exactly.)

You will NOT be receiving an additional $1200 from anyone for overages. If you want to refund the monies already paid and cancel the job then please let us know ASAP. Thanks and I hope to hear from you soon.

That got him all fired up, and he wrote this back to me:

Steve you told me the roofs only had one layer of shingles and you know it. I am not using you for a bargaining tool. I told Richard, that I need another $1,200.00 for the job and up front. There are no refunds. You people told me wrong on the amount of layers of shingles, that are on the main roof, I cannot tell from the ground how many layers of shingles are on the main roof. The contract is for the removal of 1 layer of shingles.The way it turns out, that there are 3 layers of shingles, the owners need to pay an extra $1,200.00. We are on strike until we get more money. Keep in mind, that winter is coming on fast. My workers checked to see how many layers of shingles were on the roof, while they were on the porch roof and they cam up with 3 layers. Why don't you try doing the same thing and you will see we are right.

“We are on strike until we get more money.” OMG YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. REFUND THE MONEY YOU COCK-SUCKING PILE OF CIVILIAN SHIT. HE IS A GODS DAMNED LIAR AND IT PISSES ME OFF AND I WANT HIM TO GET A TUMOR ON HIS PENIS SO THAT WHENEVER HE HAS TO PEE IT FEELS LIKE RAZORS ARE STABBING HIM IN THE BALLS.

I replied to him as follows:

David, ultimately the decision will fall with the owners as it is their money, but you know all too well that I never told you that roof only has one layer of shingles on it. Even if you were told that why wouldn't you have gotten up on the thing to see for yourself before you submitted a bid for the job? You submitted a bid before I even met you! At this point I am recommending the owners start the process of legal action against you unless you return to work. If I owned the building I would fire you in a second, file a complaint with the better business bureau, and then call my lawyer. In court you would get crushed and not only be required to issue a refund, but you would also be required to pay for legal fees and any damage rain causes to the exposed part of the roof.

Please call me when you can to discuss your immediate return to work. Thank you in advance,

He did not like getting that email from me so I got this back from him yesterday after I asked him if we could arrange a time to talk on the phone:

Let me tell you something, you have a bad attitude and I am not talking to you on the phone, because we would get no where and I would end up hanging up on you. Your right, I did talk to you after my bid, but I had not looked at the roofs, before I had talked to you and was was going by what the owners had told me, when I gave my bid, but you did tell me, that the roof had 1 layer of shingled, when I met with you and there was no contract yet, so I believe what you had told me and stuck with the bid and did not change it and the owners and I did the contract and if I new there was 3 layers of shingles, I would have changed my Bid/Estimate. I trusted you and your word. You people can go ahead and take me to court, but you will lose and I will crush you.You need to change your attitude. If the owners and I make a deal where we can go back to work, I don't want you at the job site while we are there. If we have to we will have a Harassment Order against you.There are no refunds. Keep in mind, that we are not starting or finishing anymore jobs after October 31,2015 and any that are left will have to be finished in the spring. The clock is ticking. Your job is going to take a couple of weeks. If we land another job and there is no final deal on this job, it will have to wait until spring.

I have a bad attitude?! OMG what a bunch of crap! There are no refunds. HAHAHAHA. He doesn’t want me there if he goes back to work, and he will file a harassment order against me?! Oh wow, this guy is truly fucked in the head. We have all the email evidence, and the owners even have the original Craigslist ad that states there was more than one layer of shingles. Furthermore, his contract states he will remove all existing layers of shingles. Layers, as in plural.

This shit actually really upsets me because, even though it is not my money at stake, it is still not right. Plus he is being a dick to me and accusing me of lying. I really want to drive to his house and kick his ass, but of course that would be a terrible idea from a business point of view. Things like this make me lose my faith in humanity and in our society. he is clearly in the wrong but now we will have to work a miracle to make it right. What a bunch of crap!

When you take a step back from the bullshit drama he is creating and look at the big picture you realize how stupid his demand really is. First, there are only two layers of shingles on the house and not three. Second, a third layer of shingles should not cost an extra $1200 to remove and dispose of. At most that would be an extra ton of weight so let’s say $90 extra disposal fee. Stripping an extra layer is no big deal, might add up to a few total extra hours of work, so his extra price is pure gouging, plain and simple. I told him that, too.

I think he spent all the up-front money and now he needs more so he can get materials. He might never have intended to do the work, who knows? I am very upset about this because it’s just nor right. Thankfully the owners know the guy is a piece of shit and they don’t seem to hold it against me. In the end it’s not my money on the line, but I want this assface to burn so I might tell the owners to keep my management fee for the next couple months so we can hire a lawyer and get his ass in court. He shouldn’t be allowed to pull this crap.

It looks more and more like he won’t be finishing this roof so I guess I will have to do it. I definitely won’t do it for free, but I will give them a very fair price if it does fall into my lap. I don’t want to do it, I want the fucking guy whom they hired to do it, but that seems quite unlikely at this point. Gods damn it!

We are still all emailing back and forth so I’m sure there will be more drama to follow. This sucks! What a bunch of crap!

Saturday, 10-17-15: THIS FUCKIN' PISSES ME OFF.
God damn I hate shady people who lie. The owners of the property that I manage have been wanting to have the roof replaced so I have been helping them along in the process of selecting a contractor to do the work. That has been a struggle from the get-go. It's been a bunch of crap!

^Has needed a new roof for years.

First, I called a local guy who did the roof at this bootleg building back in 2006. He lives right up the road, has a little sign on his fence, and I've seen him around over the years. He did a decent job for me at a fair price back then, and I was hoping to have him take a look at the roof and give me a price. I talked to him, he sounded busy, but he wrote down the info and said he would get back to me. Great, thanks! Unfortunately, he never called me back so I guess he was too busy. You snooze, you lose.

So I called another company, they sent someone to do a quote, it was supposed to be emailed to me, but I never got a damn thing. Fuckers! I even called them back, but I still got nothing. I called a couple other people, too, but no one could ever be bothered to even give a quote. GODS DAMN IT. Bob, my foundation contact who recently found Jesus or something, said he could do it for around $8000. F that! The owners also got a quote from a guy for $8000 that is again too costly.

I gave the owners a quote for a very fair price of $5800, but I told them I can't do the roof until the spring and they want it done this fall. They posted an ad on Craigsist that got them sone interest and a couple quotes in the $4600 range. OMG that is cheap! Too cheap really. The first guy to quote that low could not type correct English. He butchered it! Check out his email:

Hello my name is robert i had emailed few times to you and rich about roof.i was able to get measurement today.my price is 4675.00$.i am going to email a itemized quote tomorrow.i noticed chimney needs to b re pointed wich i will do at no cost.i replac any decking no larger than. 2By3. Foot free of cost.i use painted drip edge paint flashings.this is just some things.me and my partner value customers and there investments.we offer five year written warranty on any of our work.we use 30 year shingles.ice and water on any perimmeter edge and valleys.this is just brief description.i will send u the quote tomorrow i thank u for ur conzideration in this project hope to hear from u

OMG RED FLAG! To make matters worse, not only did he butcher the English language but he also apparently butchered his chick with his fists at some point. Seriously. He's in the news from a couple months ago:

A Burnham man is being held without bail at the Waldo County Correctional Center in Belfast after allegedly violating a protection order during a domestic argument, police said. Robert is charged with domestic assault, criminal restraint, obstructing the report of a crime and violation of a protection order, according to a news release Thursday from the Waldo County Sheriff’s Office.

WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! YOUR QUOTE IS DENIED ASSFACE.

The second guy to quote around $4600, he had potential. Seemed much more professional, met me at the property to discuss the job, and he ended up geting hired. The owners even agreed to pay him a tad more to re-point the chimneys. Great, they can get the roof and chimneys taken care of for a tad under $5000. AWESOME. I can't touch that price because it's a big roof with dormers, some steep pitches, etc. Unfortunately, it was probably too good to be true... the rest of this story will have to wait because I have other things to write about and to do before my day ends.

Fuck, I am in my office at 2015, worked all gods damned day, and I am drinking a beer because I am very upset about the whole roof situation a the property that I manage. I don't have any of my money at stake, but I am still dragged into the mess and the owners are probably out over $2000 in the process. That is a lot of money!

Motley Crue, Kickstart My Heart. Great tune! They are coming to Bangor tomorrow for their farewell tour with Alice Cooper and I would LOVE to go. However, the cheapest tickets are $113 so nevermind. Oh, cool little fact. yesterday morning after I dropped Katherine off at school I changed the channel from that awful piece of shit Z107.3 morning show (she likes it, 10-12 min to school, I can deal with it.) to 95.7. I prefer 100.3WKIT, but around 0720-0730 they do ads and other shit so I know I can get classic rock on I95 at that time. I only had the station on for a minute when the DJ came on and said the first caller to name the song wins two movie passes. Then he played a 2-second clip from the song, and on impulse I called the number because I immediately knew the song, Alice Cooper's Poison. His best song! I was the winner so sweet, Kat and I can go to the movies for free. We're been trying to have a date night for 3 fucking weeks so perfect timing. Hopefully we can atcually get that date night in this coming week.

I've never won anything from a radio station before. Oh Jesus, hell ya!

Normally I am NOT in my office on a Sat night, but for the second week in a row Kat has a gig. I go with her on most of her gigs, but tonight she is doing a birthday party right across the street at City Side so I am taking care of some stuff. All day today I had to prep my old apartment and help Dillon, Debbie, and Mandy move in. The were renting over at my Bangor duplex, but they are coming over to this building because, quite frankly, it's better. Seriously. I actually spent a good part of yesterday getting the apartment ready for them, too. The old tenant left it in GREAT condition, likely the cleanest it has ever been (no joke), but some painting and other things needed to be done so last night at 2200 I was still steam cleaning carpets, etc. (old tenant agreed to some deposit deduction if I did the rugs.)

Tomorrow, Monday, and probably Tuesday I will have very busy days as well because Bruce is coming tomorrow to work on the house and I also have to get my Bangor apartment ready for new tenants. That place isn't horrible, but it needs some paint and the usual TLC. I'm hoping that by Wednesday I can finally focus on the home renovation again, but who knows I might be doing a roof for the owners of that property I manage. Gods damn it!

I need to go, I had a "no hot water" issue earlier that needs a follow-up. Next time I will write about why the owners of the property that I manage are getting screwed and why I am so upset about it.

Thursday, 10-15-15: Definitely didn't see this coming.
I got an email from some automated bureaucratic government bullshit yesterday late afternoon that said I am not qualified to work at the USPS. Here is the exact letter:

Subject: United States Postal Service Employment Application
Recipient: bootlegproperties@hotmail.com

Dear Slapnut,

Thank you for expressing interest in employment with the U.S. Postal Service
by applying for:

Job Posting Number and Title: PSE MAIL PROCESSING CLERK (HOLIDAY
TERM) - HAMPDEN ME NC90424027

A review of your application for this position determined that you do not meet
the eligibility or suitability requirements listed on the vacancy announcement.
Therefore, you will not receive further consideration for this vacancy.

We encourage you to apply for other vacancies that may provide the career
advancement and growth that you are seeking.

Sincerely,

Human Resources

OMG. All I wanna know is why? Why did I fail? I sometimes fail at life, most people do, but when it comes to work I am on it like stink on shit. I never show up late, I do the best I can, and I am not a drama queen sissy-Mary. I can more than hold my own. Last year they wanted me to stay because they said I was the best of the bunch. I said thanks but no thanks it's a great big world and I gots places to go with my hot wife. That last sentence is obviously a stretch (my wife is hot, no lie there), but I declined their offer to stay because I'd rather work seasonally and then be free from the corporate chains for the majority of the year. The said no prob we still love you please come back next year to help us before Christmas. I said ok, bye and thanks for the memories.

In August they sent me a letter inviting me to come back. I applied, I did the piss test, they did a background check, and I even went over there for an "interview" that was basically the same HR guy from last year telling me I am hired. He gave me my work hours, told me a start date, and I said thanks see ya soon. I WAS HIRED SO WHAT CHANGED BETWEEN NOW AND THEN? WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

Did someone steal my identity? Is it because I owe the IRS a few hundred bucks still? I haven't made paying off the IRS a top priority because they only charge 3% or something like that as a late fee, and I have it paid down from $3000 in April to only a few hundred now. Maybe that's not it? Maybe I failed the piss test even though I have never even tried drugs. Does a Monster Energy drink count? Nothing has changed from this year as compared to last so I am seriously perplexed. If someone thinks I am a scumbag I should probably know.

I was gonna call them today, but then I blew it off to do other things like go into the woods to set up my trail cam. I was at Supertree, midday, when I jumped a couple small-looking deer. Of course I didn't have my bow, but even if I did have it there was no shot opportunity. Not gonna send an arrow at a flag 50 yards away and on the run through the bushes. F that. Hopefully I can go hunting early next week, and I might have more time to actually enjoy myself in the woods since the USPS apparently hauled on me.

At first when I got that generic email I was a little upset. Feeling like you failed is not good. However, I got to thinking about it more and Kat and I talked about it. Not having to work at the USPS this November-December will free up A LOT of my precious... precious time. I can take care of some apartment work, get a lot more of the home renovation done, and spend more time with my fun and beautiful wife. The more I think about it the more I like the idea of not working until tax season. We will lose about $3000-$3500 income after taxes, but fuck it work to live not live to work. I've done a LOT of work so far this year. A lot. Like, too much. A lot of the work has been in building a more secure future for our family, but that doesn't make it good times right now. Sometimes I don't even know how I get so busy. I need to screw off more gods damn it.

So I didn't call the USPS local facility today to ask if they had more info on my rejection because part of me doesn't want to call. Part of me wants to use that as a reason to bail on the 6 weeks of 40-55 hour work weeks there so I can focus on other, more important things. However, another part of me wants to know why they think I am an epic fail. Being a failure is not good for the psyche. Thankfully I can come to my bootleg site and cry about it. Hehehehe.

God damn this bartendette made my drink strong. They sell $2 margaritas here at Tag's on Thursdays, but normally a couple drinks don't even give me much of a buzz because of all the ice and water. I don't even want to get drunk down here because I drive us home. Thankfully we don't leave for 3 hours and I am not gonna get wrecked off this one drink. I do wish it was weaker, though. I'm a whiny little bitch complaining about my drink being too strong. What a bunch of crap!

At some point I should call the USPS and see if they know what happened. They probably won't be able to tell me jack shit since it's so bureaucratic, but no harm in asking. Right? It would kinda suck if I call and they say "Oh, our bad that email was meant for someone else you're working here." when now I don't want to work there. I want the money, but we can make ends meet without it. At this point I value the time more than the money.

In other news, I did some good work on the house for the first three days of this week, but the last two days I've had apartment work to do. Yesterday I installed this floor like a boss:

^Old shitty floor that was covered with carpet tiles for years, but the carpet tiles were bootleg pieces of shit. I've had the same tenants in that apartment since I bought this bootleg property over 10 years ago. Wow!

^Nice, shiny new floor. Hopefully they like it, and if they do not then they can ggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttt ooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!

As an added bonus my materials cost was 0 dollars and 0 cents because I re-used some of all the old flooring that I saved from the house last year. I had some transition strips kicking around, and the tenants there even moved their crap and the baseboards so the subfloor was nice and prepped. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I got the entire job done in about 6.5 hours including loading up flooring, tools, cleanup, etc. That floor has been on my list for a while to it's nice to have it done.

The puppies got their balls chopped off on Tuesday, and Castiel is wearing a plastic cone because he wants to lick his surgical scar. He's 64 pounds, and his brother is 52 pounds. I'm amazed there is a 12 pound difference between the two of them. Crowley definitely looks smaller, but he holds his own just fine against his bigger (yet not older) brother. We had considered hauling on the puppies, but it looks more like we will keep them because it's the right thing to do. We might still find them new homes, but if I don't work at the USPS then I will have more free time so I can help out with them more. They are still quite the handful, no doubt, and they will be for some time to come until they finally grow up and stop trying to eat rocks, sticks, shoes, flooring, bath mats, etc.

^He needs a cone or else he will keep trying to lick his removed gonads. Dogs are great, but sometimes all I wanna know is why? Why do they act like 'tards? Oh well, people often act like 'tards, too.

I'm out of here, time to research B-vents for my furnace and hot water tank for the home renovation. Goonies never say die!

Saturday, 10-10-15: Wow, that was an awesome "rented."
I am playing some musical apartments of sorts in the coming week or so. First, I have the tenant in the apartment above my bootleg office (my old apartment!) moving out around the 15th. Second, I have Dillon, Debbie, and Mandy moving from my Bangor duplex into my old apartment. Finally, I have new people lined up to move into that Bangor apartment around roughly the 20th.

Getting that Bangor apartment rented was actually pretty easy. Much easier than I expected. I stuck a FOR RENT sign in the lawn about a week ago, and I also reached out to Jody to explore the possibility of selling the entire building. I normally post an ad on Craigslist when I have an upcoming vacancy, but since I was mulling over just hauling on the entire property I didn't push the FOR RENT option too hard. Normally a sign on the lawn doesn't draw more than a couple phone calls, but much to my surprise I've gotten about a half a dozen calls from people interested in the place since I stuck that sign out front over there.

Hang on, I gotta go change a light bulb. Seriously. Sometimes I love this job!*

I had four showings lined up for yesterday, but one no-showed so I ended up doing three. No-shows happen approximately one out of every 4 or 5 times so I don't let it bother me, but it does suck. The first people loved the place and said they would do the application soon. The second person was an older lady, seemed nice, and she liked it as well. She took an application with her and disappeared back into the world. The third person also loved it, did an application right then and there, but she is DECLINED because her income is about $1600 a month, she has no job, 3 kids from different fathers, and rent there is $890. When your rent is over a maximum of 40% of your income your ass is

That last appointment was 1230, and I got Katherine from school after that and received a phone call on the drive back to home at around 1330. I kinda like having Katherine drive to and from school every day because it's like I have a chauffer so I can text, call, etc. The call was from the people who saw the apartment earlier in the day, and they were dropping off the application in my BOOTLEG PROPERTIES drop-box along with a check for the security deposit. OMG! Dropping off money is awesome, but I told them they ain't even approved yet so they didn't have to put in a check. They just wanted to do it in case they were approved to save time so I said OH JESUS HELL YA! Of course I didn't deposit the check; it is on my desk now. However, I did check them out and approve their application so I finalized that with them today. The place is rented!

My plan was to rent the apartment and keep the buliding if the right people came along and, if not, I would throw up a FOR SALE sign and see what happened. Renting the apartment is a better scenario for the business at this point than selling the building so I am happy I fould people for the place. I was a little concerned that if I tried to sell I would have to keep the apartment vacant for a month or two, do some renovations (cough:newkitchen:cough), and maybe even scare the tenants in the back apartment into moving out. Eventually I will sell that building, maybe next year, but not now.

^Floor is pretty good; I did that in 2010. The cabinets are old and could use a replacement, though. A kitchen remodel would definitely make the place more marketable.

I'm very happy that I only had to show that place three times before I found people to rent it. Even better, they are ready to move in soon and they already paid the security deposit. Awesome! I got really lucky on that one because I was thinking I might have to take a couple weeks off from the home renovation to go do some remodeling over there. The place could use a remodel, but it's not horrible now so any larger work can wait until next year.

I tried to do the math to figure out how much money I've actually made off that building since I bought it in May of 2004, but I failed. I have all the data, but it gets complicated because I did a refinance in 2009 and used that money to buy and remodel another property. Ever since that refinance my mortgage is higher, but a portion of that really should go to the other property. I can figure it out to the penny if I want, but screw that I have too much else going on. One thing I do know for sure, there have been a lot of years in the red at that property. What a bunch of crap!

Kat is at a gig down in Ellsworth tonight with a DJ friend, and they are splitting the work and profit. It's her second gig today; I went with her on the first one. What an adventure that gig was! She had a wedding abot a half hour away at a disgusting trailer for some serious white trash. The trailer was GROSS. We're talking flies all over the place, peeling paint, etc. The wedding was right there at their trailer in the yard, and it was cold. Windy and barely 50 degrees. My vote is no more outdoor gigs this time of year, ever. They were supposed to have tents up, but The Nothing came and took them like it once took the beautiful lake from the Rock Biters in the North. What a bunch of crap! Of course that last sentence is not true, but all joking aside it was windy last night so the wind blew the tents away.

So I am flying solo tonight, hanging out in my office. Instead of going with Kat to Ellsworth I fixed a toilet and now here I am. I might lift a few weights before I head home. Don't wanna leave the puppies in the crate too much. I called Pop to see how he's doing, and he emailed me a photo of the two turkeys that he shot earlier today at the Prison Farm. Mom has been out west this week visiting family so Pop and Amos, their young black lab puppy, are living the life of bachelors. Or something like that. For years Mom has flown out west twice a year for a week in May and a week early October so it's nothing new for Pop. I really need to get down there to do some hunting before I go back to work at the USPS, but we will see. My free time is scace these days. I could make time, but then I feel guilty if I don't work on the house addition enough. What a bunch of crap! In 5 weeks I will really be working once the USPS job begins.

Crowley and Castiel are exactly 6 months old today. That means they are old enough to get their weiners cut off. We will take them Tuesday for that unfortunate and necessary surgery. I would not want my pecker removed, but I am not a dog and I have never tried to do this to my own frigging brother:


^Hahahahaha. Yeah, the weiners should go. They are not qualified to use them properly. They do not deserve to own a penis if that it what they will eventually do with it.

The Red Sox finished their baseball season in last place. Epic fail and what a bunch of crap all rolled into one. The Yankees made the playoffs, but they lost and are washed out just as fast as a turd washes down a hopper. Disappear, scumbag Yankees!

^Oh well, at least David Ortiz hit his 500th career home run this season and they have some very promising young talent on the team. The end.

*Katherine is babysitting at the house across the street so I am helping her out by giving her more light. Hehehe.

Thursday, 10-08-15: Roof's done!
I finally finished the roof on the house addition. The roof has been mostly done for over a week, but today I spent 2.5 hours installing the last few shingles at the peak, the ridge vent, and the cap shingles. Oh Jesus, hell ya! Perfect timing because rain is coming tomorrow. I owe Phil a thanks because he gave me some useful information as far as venting the space. I need to allow the roof to breathe or else I could have a moisture buildup and eventual mold and rot on the sheating.

^Breathe that precious... precious air my precious...precious house. [Demented, evil Gollum voice from the most epic walking movies, ever. Lord of the Ring Dings.]

Yesterday I finished the sheathing so the addition should be mostly waterproof. A couple windows aren't in yet, and the slider for the upstairs patio (that hasn't been built yet) is not in so a wind will push some rain in, but not much. Home Depot delivered me a 6-foot install kit for the slider when I need a 5-foot so I had to exchange that one, and then the one I got had been returned once (last one there) and was missing the hardware so I had to go back to get that. What a bunch of crap! Thankfully I was already going so I didn't waste a trip. I haven't even installed that yet. A little bit of moisture on the floor around those openings should be no big deal. I have 80 pieces of 1/2" sheetrock in the driveway, but that is tarped pretty well and not sitting directly on the ground so I think that will be okay, too.

^Since I took that photo I have the front wrapped, the front windows and the door in, and another tarp over all that sheetrock.

^The rear is about ready for windows, the slider, and vinyl siding now. Nice! I probably won't get to the siding until next spring since that Zip System is rated for 500 days of exposure and it's sealed up now.

According to the bootleg schedule that I made back in August I was supposed to install my first pieces of sheetrock tomorrow, but no way that's happening. I still have to insulate and get those windows installed. Thankfully Ben came with his two boys on Tuesday, and in 6 hours time they totally roughed in the electrical for the entire upstairs. Nice! If all goes as planned Ben will be back tomorrow AM to rough in Kat's studio. Then next week I can get the windows in, insulate, and hopefully do some sheetrock installs. I still need a heating system installed so I won't be mudding and taping anytime soon, but that's okay because I still have plenty of other things to keep me busy.

I started to install some vinyl siding on the front (driveway) side of the addition. In a freak stroke of fortune Home Depot has some khaki colored siding that almost perfectly matches the existing siding on the house. I thought khaki was brown, but the stuff looks more grey to me. Oh well, I don't give a shit I'm just happy to have a match. It's actually not a 100% match, but it looks damn close. So close it works for me, let's call it 97%. In DNA terms that is the difference between a monkey and a human, but in the world of vinly siding it's out-frigging-standing. I actually do have a brand and item number for the existing siding of the house because the previous owners had a spare box of extra siding stowed in the rafters of the garage, but I figured getting it at Home Depot is a better option than trying to special order the stuff. Plus I'm sure the existing siding has faded some due to weathering so if I ordered the same stuff it wouldn't 100% match anyway.

^New siding in foreground, old siding on house in background. Notice how I installed that window crooked? What a bunch of crap! I had to take it out and level it. My bad there. The siding is all level so far.

I bought my $30 electric and $40 plumbing permits a couple days ago, and when I was at the code office I scheduled my framing inspection. That went about as well as I expected; they found a couple things I screwed up. I knew they would find something because I am not a master carpenter so I took it in stride, but it still sucks. My bad using 8" rafters for the roof becasuse code requires R38 insulation up there. R38 is 12" thick so it cannot physically fit into a 7.25" space (8" lumber is really 7.25" because they cheat. Same reason a 2x4 is really a 1.5x3.5. What a bunch of crap!) So now I have to thicken the space with 2x4s. Not a huge expense, maybe an extra $100, but a waste of my precious... precious time. Gods damn it!

The inspectors pointed out one other glaring flaw in my design. My 32x38 windows in the second bedroom are not suitable for egress in an emergency. Code requires an egress window in an upstairs bedroom, and an egress window (for emergency escape) needs to open to a minimum of 5.7 square feet to comply with code. Of course I just installed the basic single-hung Pella windows so those are definitely NOT egress windows. What a bunch of crap! All I wanna know is why? Why do I need that shit? I have frigging stairs and a gods damned sliding glass door in the other room so there are two exits. Those fuckers! To add insult to injury I had just installed the windows the day before so now I have to uninstall one of them and try to get a 32x38 'egress" window in case a fatass needs to escape and cannot fit out of the regular one. Too bad in case of emergency whomever might be up in that spare room can't just say "Oh Shit!" and Kool-Aid-Man through the wall in order to escape. Hehehehe.

^If I ever have a round pink... thing living in that room it might be time for me to call Stephen King, Ghostbusters, and a psychologist. Hehehe.

It's definitely fall now. The mornings have been in the 30s and low 40s so I've had to wear my sweatshirt, sometimes a jacket, and my knit hat, at least until it warms up into the 50s and/or low 60s. Today was chilly on the roof in the shade from our massive maple tree in the back yard. It wasn't bad in the sun, but I had my sweatshirt on the whole time even in the sun. A far cry from sweating buckets up there just a couple weeks ago. Bye bye hot weather for about half a year. Grrrrrrrr...

I want to go hunting. I've had my bow at Old Town Archery for 5 frigging weeks for a tune-up. I will go get it tomorrow. Maybe. I need to get into the woods because this time of year is getting closer to prime-time for hunting. Later this month and November is actually the best time, but I haven't even scouted. What a bunch of crap! I won't go that much this year, but I do want to go once or twice a week from mid-month until I start work at the post office on November 16.

Jim from Jackson Hewitt called me earlier this week. He wanted to hire me as a manager for all kinds of locations. OMG. he wanted me in charge of a geographical area from Ellsworth all the way to Skowhegan. He wanted to give me a company car, too. I did consider it, but I quickly shut the idea down for a couple reasons. First, my being a manager completely closes the door for a potential Kat return. My wife > everything else. She can't be a tax preparer again if I am the boss. Second, the job would have started next month. NEXT MONTH?! Sorry Jim, but I already shook hands with Ed at the USPS and accepted their seasonal position so I can't back out of that now without being a huge jerkey. Not gonna do that to them because it's not the right thing to do. Finally, I don't want to work 90 friggin' hours a week. F that! I saw how stressed our manager was last season. She couldn't take the pressa. My phone would constantly be ringing, and I would have no free time. Jim assured me no more than about 55 hours a week, but I laughed inside at that. No way I can be in charge of 7-10 locations and work that few hours. I worked that many as a preparer some weeks last year!

I told Kat I might have accepted the position had it paid like $30k for half a year's worth of work, but Jim wouldn't tell me how much it paid unless I said I wanted it. WTF, over?! How can I make a decision if I don't know how much it pays? My guess is probably $15k with bonus money pushing me slightly above $20k. Not terrible for 5 months of work, but I made $8k last year (pretax) for just over 3 months of work, and I didn't have the headaches of being the boss. Nope, I'd rather prepare taxes than run the show. I have way too much else going on with the apartments, home renovations, helping Kat with her DJ business, the puppies, etc. It would take a LOT of money for me to give up what little time I already have to spend relaxing with the family to take that position.

Saturday, 10-03-15: Wrestling tonight!
The WWE is coming to Bangor tonight, and we have ringside tickets. Oh Jesus, hell ya! For over $100 a ticket they better be damn good seats or I will open up a can of whop-ass on someone. I went to a WWE "house" show back in the late 90s or early 2000s in Bangor, but I've not been since. Back then I remember seeing Edge and Christian and the young rookie who hadn't even been on WWE TV then, Brock Lesnar. This time around we will see Ryback, Cesaro, Dean Anbrose, Roman Reigns, the Wyatt Family (boooo) and some of the "Divas." I don't give a shit about the Divas, and I don't give a shit about the Wyatt guys. However, Braun Strowman looks like he could hang out with Paul Bunyon out front of the Cross Center...

^Braun Strowman's great, great, great, great, great grandfather?

I dug out my old wrestlign fansign that I made for an IWE show years ago, and I was all proud of it. However, both Kat and Katherine looked at me like I'm a chromosome or two short of the normal 46, and they said they'd be embarassed to be seen in public with me if I had it. What a bunch of crap! Katherine is 17 so her Mom and I embarass her a lot, but it's rare when even my own wife says I should reign it in so I listened. The sign shall not go... Sigh, it was a good one.

DISAPPEAR, SCUMBAG on one side

YOU'RE A TURD on the other (with a taped-on photo of a toilet, full color. Hehehehe.)

The sign is a total bootleg piece of shit made on a hunk of cardboard. I wish I had a picture of it, but alas I do not and I ain't wasting my precious... precious time to dig out the camera, the cheesy sign, the cables to connect the camera to the computer, etc.

Friday, 10-02-15: Officially behind schedule.
My official home remodel schedule had me finishing the roof today, but that did not happen. What a bunch of crap! I did most of the roof on Tuesday, and then we got an astounding 5.5" of rain on Wednesday so that shut me right down. Five and a half inches of rain is massive. Perhaps the most I've ever seen in one storm, and a definite top five. Stillwater Ave and Broadway both flooded to the point they became impassable. Katherine and I finished up a large Home Depot order and had to detour around Stillwater on the way home due to the epic flooding.

Thankfully the bootleg apartments survived the deluge with minimal impact. I did have a small drip at Holyoke so I went up onto the roof yesterday morning after the storm had ended and used up a whole tube of caulking, mostly around the chimney flashing. The roof over there is in pretty good shape; it might only be 10 years old (was relatively new when I bought the place in 2009, but exact install date unknown because the house was a vacant foreclosure at the time.) Hopefully it doesn't leak anymore, but it never has leaked in the past. I don't think we will see 5.5" of rain in one day again anytime soon. Hopefully anytime ever.

At home in the remodel area things got drenched. The wind was from the north, and that is the one side I have not sheathed yet so all kinds of water got pushed in. Plus I don't have the roof 100% done yet, and water came in from the ridge vent area. I did tack some shingles over that ridge gap, but the winds sent them all flying. What a bunch of crap! Thankfully no tools or belongings appear to have been damaged. Here is what the north side of the roof looked like on Tuesday evening before the rains hit:

I still have to finish the sheating, tape the seams, and install the windows and entry door so the thing will then be 100% water tight. Thankfully there's no rain in the forecast for the next several days. That friggin' hurricane in the Bahamas better stay offshore or else we are pwned. A couple days ago they said it was gonna hit the east coast and give us a ton of rain, but thankfully the models all listened to their big brother, the Euro, and now the storm is getting sent packing straight out to sea.

The south side of the new addition roof didn't get finished because I never have enough time. Oh well, it's close:

You can see where I half-assed the shingles at the peak, and the wind took them out. What a bunch of crap! Oh well, it happens. I got my arse up onto the roof yesterday afternoon to try and finish, but after less than a minute I got my ass right back down because there was a stiff north wind and it was cold. Screw doing roofing when it's a gale. So I hauled on a bunch of dirt and puttered around on other things instead. My bootleg apartments have been taking up some of my precious... precious time this week so I haven't worked on the house too much. Hopefully next week I can work on it more because this week has been pathetic.

Even though we got a deluge of rain on the last day of September the month overall was pretty good. It was above average warm, near an all-time record in fact, and that saved me a few bucks on heat. Last September my heating bills for the apartments was $144, and this year it was about at the minimum, $74. Yeah, there is a minimum charge. Even if I use zero therms those pinko pricks charge a $15-ish fee per building. What a bunch of crap! I fucking hate Bangor Gas Company. I HATE THEM. They price gouge and make all kinds of profit and fuck me so in turn I have to raise rents and they fuck over my tenants. I should have stayed with oil, and I would have had I known heating oil would fall to well under $2 a gallon again. When I switched to gas three years ago oil was over $4 a gallon and gas was cheap.

The thing that sucks about Bangor Gas is natural gas prices nation-wide have been low, but there is not enough piping because they oversold so in the northeast we got 100% fucked. Fuck the northeast in the winter. I'm hoping this coming winter will be my last one in this state. There is no reason to be here from January-March. I wish I could just hibernate like a frigging bear for those three terrible months...

It sucks knowing winter is coming. I don't hate this time of year because I can go hunting and watch football. Plus 55 degrees is tolerable. Not great, but a lot better than 15 degrees. I haven't even done any scouting yet for hunting so I need to do that ASAP. I might just cancel my hunting season, but screw that I want to go because I enjoy it. Even if I only go a few times it is nice to sit in the woods and watch nature. Maybe Sunday I can get out there for a couple hours and put up my trail camera. Hopefully a big huge buck like "Krueger" is in the local woods again.

^From fall of 2012. Sadly we're pretty sure he got shot that season, but holy crap what a sight to behold. If I am hunting and I see a deer like that in these woods I might poop a little. I already married the woman of my dreams so I won at life, but shooting a deer like that would be a bonus-level win. I bet I could get 80 pounds of meat off a deer that size. (My wife still has a better rack. Hehehehe.)

I only have a few packages of deer meat left in the chest freezer so I should not cancel my hunting season because I want more meat. My bow has been in the shop for 4 weeks now so I need to go get it before I can hunt. Maybe early next week I can get it and then my mid-month I can sneak out and do a little hunting...