9-04 10-04 11-04 12-04 1-05 2-05 3-05 4-05 5-05 6-05 7-05 8-05 9-05 10-05 11-05 12-05 1-06 2-06 3-06
4-06 5-06 6-06 7-06 8-06 9-06 10-06 11-06 12-06 1-07 2/07 3-07 4-07 5-07 6-07 7-07 8-07 9-07 10-07 11-07 12-07 1-08 2-08 3-08 4-08 5-08 6-08 7-08 8-08 9-08 10-08 11-08 12-08 1-09 2-09 3-09 4-09 5-09 6-09 7-09 8-09 9-09 10-09 11-09 12-09 1-10 2-10 3-10 4-10 5-10 6-10 7-10 8-10 9-10 10-10 11-10 12-10 1-11 2-11 3-11 4-11 5-11 6-11 7-11 8-11 9-11 10-11 11-11 12-11 1-12 2-12 3-12 4-12 5-12 6-12 7-12 8-12 9-12 10-12 11-12 12-12 1-13 2-13 3-13 4-13 5-13 6-13 7-13 8-13 9-13 10-13 11-13 12-13 1-14 2-14 3-14 4-14 5-14 6-14 7-14 8-14 9-14 10-14 11-14 12-14 1-15 2-15 3-15 4-15 5-15 6-15 7-15 8-15 9-15 10-15 11-15 12-15 1-16

“These are guys with the name D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty — these types of guys, they come from Connecticut and New York, they come up here, they sell their heroin, then they go back home. Incidentally, half the time they impregnate a young white girl before they leave, which is a real sad thing because then we have another issue that we’ve got to deal with down the road.” –Maine governor Paul Lepage last month offending people yet again with his hilariously politically incorrect comments.

Monday, 2-29-16: I got into trouble again, and Doug was a dink to me. Puppies!
I failed for the second week in a row to be a great husband. What a bunch of crap! I wasn't planning to drink any beer last Friday night, but it happened.

I had a later client Friday night at the tax office so I didn't get out until 1920 instead of the usual 1900. That gave me just barely enough time to get home in time to help Kat load up for her Jester's karaoke show and go down with her to help set up. I left Jester's around 2040 and headed home to eat a late supper, and I planned to bivouac after that because I was damn tired (I went to Tag's with Kat the night before and we got home late as usual.) However, as I was shovelling in some chow my plans changed. Dillon came into the kitchen with a beer for him and a beer for me. I told him thanks but I was not gonna drink; I was tired and wanted to go to bed. He sat down at the bar with me as I finished off my grub, he set the beer right by my side, and he and I started chatting it up.

I'm no alcoholic and I don't need beer to exist in this world, but damnit that beer looked better and better the more it sat there. I could tell Dillon wanted to hang out, and he and I have never ever had the chance to hang out when it's just been us two at the house so I finally gave in and took my beer. I really didn't think it would offend Kat at all, and I was glad to spend some time with my stepson and even more glad that he wanted to hang out. One beer turned into a couple beers, and we had a blast hanging out and listening to 80s music for a couple hours in the living room. Finally it was time to go down to Jester's, and I was ok with Dillon coming with me. In hindsight that was unwise because Kat was pretty pissed when we showed up and she saw how drunk he was. By around midnight when we arrived he was completely plowed, and even though he was hilarious at the bar it's not good when I let her boy get wasted and then come to the bar. My bad.

I was all proud of myself, thinking my lovely wife would be happy because her son and I finally spent some quality time together. (We had a blast!) Unfortunately, she was mad because I said I wouldn't drink and then I drank again. Plus I brought her drunk son down to the bar. Epic fail. Dillon is a fine young man and a hilariously fun drunk. He's all happy and full of love, and in many ways he reminds me of what I was like when I was in my low 20s two decades ago.

On Saturday afternoon I told Kat of a story that popped into my head as an analogy of what happened Friday night. When we were kids our family pet was Dynamite, a wonderful black lab. One day we were all outside when Dyna took off into the woods for a bit. She returned not long later with a dead baby rabbit, and she was so excited that she caught that rabbit she literally was tossing it in the air like a prize won. Dyna was able to show a bit of a dog-smile when happy and a dog-grimace when she was in trouble, and she was all dog-smiles when she came out of the woods from the side yard. She seemed jubilated in anticipation of the praise and adulation she would surely receive from all of us for a job well done. Unfortunately and I am sure much to her shock, she was met the the opposite from Dad. Pop was PISSED, and he turned that dog-smile into a dog-grimace in no time. He regulated on her in a major way, and she got scolded and hauled back into the house.

Dyna was an amazing dog; sadly I don't have any photos of her handy. She was alive way before the era of digital cameras so I'm sure the only was I could get a photo would be by borrowing one from Mom and Pop's old photo album(s.) Hopefully she is enjoying Doggie-heaven and playing lovingly with Shadow, Onyx, Nitro, Maggie, and Dende.

So on Friday night I was Dyna when I showed up at the bar with Dillon. Kat was gonna be so happy that he and I hung out and were having fun! Then I saw how upset she was and I was the bad dog who needed the scolding and the dragging back to the house. My well-intended deed was actually a bad deed. What a bunch of crap! I told Kat I'm sorry I broke my word again, but that was a deal I should not have made because I want to drink on Friday night when she does her Jester's show. I told her I was sorry that I brought Dillon down to the bar with me, too. When you have to apologize to your wife two times for the same thing in a week then you have failed. What a bunch of crap!

In other news, Doug sent me a text message Saturday. I thought it would be a friendly reply to the "Happy Birthday" text that I sent him on Thursday, but unfortunately it was venemous and uncalled for. He wrote "I only want one gift: for you to never talk to me again. Oh, and whilst I'm feeling so generous... eat a plate of tepid shit. My server didn't get shut off for non payment. It got hacked. But talk more shit about me while you're at it. In sumnation: DIE (Post that on your little faggot website that I hosted for you for too long.)"

OMG OUCH YOU MAD BRO? WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

At this point I just feel pity. He doesn't seem to be able to save himself from his downward spiral, and that is sad. Once upon a time he and I were very close and best of friends. We had all kinds of fun times whether it was playing Mario Kart and old NES/SNES games, watching Monday Night RAW, going to IWE (wrestling) shows, or boozing at the apartment. In hindsight I'm at least part of the reason he is failing at life because I enabled him for all those years. Mom hs told me that in the past, but she enables him now in other ways that don't need to be fleshed out on this bootleg shit-heap of a site.

I hope he can find himself, find his niche in this world, and find a lasting source of happiness.

This update needs more positivity. We don't need NEW DAY unicorns, but a pitcure of my beautiful wife and our adorable puppy would help:

We took Copperpot to the park for the first time in his life last Sunday 8 days ago. It was chilly outside, but not unbearable. He did GREAT at the park, and since then he's been back a couple more times but without his harness. Just the leash is suffieient for the little pup because he doesn't pull ahead or act like a dink at all. He stays close and doesn't wander off too much when off leash either, and that is great. He even sorta knows how to play fetch! (A retriever, duh.) He can retrieve the tennis ball and bring it back when he wants to, but in the photo above he was distracted and didn't know Kat had lobbed the ball in my direction.

Copper is very fast; I can't outrun him at all. My only chance at a lead is to take off running when he isn't looking at me. We are very fortunate to be able to take him to the park at all. Last winter at this time the world was a frozen tundra buried deep in snow. Thankfully this winter is shaping up to have been one of the most mild since records were kept, at least a top 5 warmest (Dec-Feb) for Bangor and warmest ever in Caribou. Oh Jesus hell ya!

It's a leap year so I might not update this bootleg site on Feb 29 ever again. Or maybe in 4 years, we'll see. Got up to 50 degrees outside today and set another record. Awesome!

Wednesday, 2-24-16: A very boring day at work.
This office was a nice, steady busy the last couple days. However, today has been a toilet. What a bunch of crap! We got a couple inches of snow this morning that caused schools to close, and the roads were garbage when I came in so I’m sure that is a contributing factor. It’s up to 33 outside now with some light rain, but roads probably are slick in some spots still. Oh well, it happens.

Today is Doug’s 36th birthday; my youngest brother and I aren’t really on speaking terms anymore, but I did send him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY text message because it was the right thing to do. I doubt he will even bother to write back. Doug has never been good at keeping in touch with the family, not unless he wants something, but I can’t fault him too much for that because I’ve only talked to Mom on the phone once all year. Epic fail! I’d call more often, but I really don’t want to do that so nevermind. I hope one day Doug and I can reconcile our differences, but right now there is a large gap.

Gavin helped me switch this bootleg site, my rental property site, and Kat’s DJ site over to my GoDaddy account on Monday. Doug has been hosting all my sites for years on his servers, but sometimes he doesn’t pay his bills or whatever so the sites go down. If this site goes down not a big deal because no one reads it, but Kat’s DJ site needs to work gods damn it. I actually paid $93 for a year’s worth of GoDaddy hosing last April, but I never learned how to use it so I gave up. Since then our sites have mostly been working on Doug’s server so I just left it alone.
Seeing the sites all down over the weekend prompted me to action, and I kinda learned some about how to do it. Unfortunately, I didn’t know how to do it all so thankfully Gavin hooked me up. I didn’t know how to redirect the name servers. Now most of my bootleg Crap site still isn’t on the Interweb, but it mostly is. I still have to fix some of Kat’s DJ site as well, but thankfully most of that page is working. I don’t know if my bootleg rental site is working or not, but it doesn’t matter right now because I have no vacancies to post. Thank the gods who do not exist for that because this tax job takes up most of my precious… precious time.

I’m updating this steaming turd of a site from my laptop computer at work. I am bored so after this I will read and do a crossword puzzle. I do have an 1800 appointment so I ain’t getting out early tonight. Oh well, it happens. I normally work 1000-1900 during the week, but sometimes I can get out a little early in the evening if it’s slow and Jenn comes in. Tonight there’s an appointment and no Jenn so I am pwned. What a bunch of crap!

Monday, 2-22-16: Husbanding fail.
My bad as a husband. Over the past year or so I have developed a bad habit of tossing and turning in my sleep after I drink alcohol. I crash right out and don’t notice a thing most of the time, but poor Kat has to be kept awake as I move about. Sometimes I even do weird things like pretend to be running and talking. What a bunch of crap!
I don’t know why I do this, but I suspect it is because I am more tired at night now than I ever have been. I don’t get enough sleep on most nights so it catches up. I don’t even have to drink that much booze for the kicking, moving, and talking to occur in the sleep anymore. A couple or three drinks is often enough to make me a sleep-partner-fail. Not good.

So last week I told Kat I wouldn’t drink as much, and I wouldn’t drink at Jester’s. However, I pretty much forgot I made that promise and come Friday night I wound a few drinks right down my gullet and got boozed up. What a bunch of crap! Of course she was pissed that I didn’t keep my word (that I actually forgot I even made) and to make matters worse when we bivouaced I passed out and then started talking about standard deductions and personal exemptions in my sleep. OMG. When that happens I know I have seen way too many 1040 tax forms this year. Epic fail.


^I had a few drinks and thought I could do taxes in my sleep. Aloud. At 0200. What a bunch of crap!

I promised my wife I would not drink and then, just a few days later at most, I drank. What a bunch of crap! I am conflicted about the whole thing because I have fun when I drink at Jester’s, and I would never have fun if I don’t drink. She works at Jester’s every Friday night and I go to help her set up and break down the gear, something I’ve done ever since her and I started dating. Therefore, at this point it’s expected that I go with her and usually I go help set up, leave for a couple hours and have a drink or two, and then I return to finish out the last couple hours of the night with her there at the bar. Once I return I will usually have a couple more alcoholic beverages so by last call I am feeling great.

I feel badly that I toss and turn when I drink, but going to hang out at Jester’s sober is not an option. I’d seriously rather shovel shit. It’s a tiny little place and it’s boring and annoying to be there sober. Most of the people there are Giblets, but they are fun once the booze starts flowing. I have had many AWESOME nights at Jester’s over the years, and the alcohol helps fuel that positive energy. Time drags there when I’m not liquored up at least a little.
Oh one hand I agree it’s not fair to her that she can’t sleep well when I get liquored up and toss and turn, but on the other it’s not fair to me to have to suffer at the bar with no booze. I’ll sleep on the couch if I have to. I’m a dick for telling her I wouldn’t drink and then going back on my word, that is a fair point indeed, but I don’t want to put away the booze forever. Hopefully when our puppy gets older and when Katherine doesn’t need rides to and from school on most days I can actually sleep more. Hopefully getting more sleep will keep me from tossing and turning so much. Now I am totally fucked because Copperpot ALWAYS gets up around 0600-0630. That’s fine if we go to bed at a normal time, but not so much when we go to bed at 0200 because Kat just finished work.

If I had a drinking problem, if I were an alcoholic, then I would have to quit for sure. However, I don’t have an addictive personality and I only drink a few each week on average. Most nights I don’t even touch alcohol. My wife works at various bars across the region and I’ve gone with her a lot so overall considering my surroundings I think I’ve done great. If I drink at the other bars, which isn’t that often, I will only have one or two early in the night then I stop so I can drive us home.


^My sexy wife at Jester's hosting the karaoke show back in 2014. Hot stuff!

I met Kat at the bar, and we met when I was liquored up. I used to go to Jester’s and drink way before we ever met, and back then I would often get REALLY drunk. Now I don’t drink as much when I do drink. Maybe I should drink more so I pass out harder! Hehehehe. I feel like I shouldn’t have to stop drinking because I’m not out of control. I don’t get violent and I’m no woman-beater. I just have some fun, maybe sing a karaoke song out of tune, and at the end of the night I can still function well enough to help Kat break down the gear and unload it all at the house before we go to bed.

I upset Kat when I told her on Saturday morning that I was sorry I drank and I had a solution. I just won’t go to Jester’s anymore because it’s no fun being there sober. It’s hard, perhaps a bit black and white, but it’s my reality. Much as I love my wife I ain’t going to hang out at Jester’s and not drink. F that. I’d rather stay home, go to bed, and then just wake up and help her unload when she is done.

I told Kat again Saturday night that I was sorry I drank when I said I wouldn’t drink, and she replied “No you’re not.” She’s right. I’m not really sorry. I’m sorry I broke my word, but I’m not sorry that I drank. So I just shut up and went to sleep. Not good. If I keep it up I will get hauled on and then I will really get drunk. If Kat hauls on me I will become an alcoholic and just do what Nicholas Cage did in Leaving Las Vegas. However, I wouldn’t hire a stripper or actually go to Vegas so nevermind.

Hopefully Kat and I can reach a compromise, some common ground, because I seriously am not hanging out at Jester’s without any booze. Maybe I will just have to sleep on the couch. I dunno. It’s frustrating me because I feel like the reason I am so fucking tired is because we have so much going on. I just want to do nothing for about a month and then see how things look, but that ain’t happening this year. Gods damn it!

Friday, 2-19-16: I need to do better here.
Gods damn it! I have so many different usernames and passwords for things that it's hard to keep them all straight. I have most of them written down on a piece of paper, but some of the ones for which I have signed up recently I didn't write down. My bad. I just signed up for online banking with my TD Bank account last month, but I already forgot my username and password so now I am pwned. I cannot log in. What a bunch of crap! I must have written it down somewhere. Maybe? Hell if I know, but I need to figure it out.

Oh well, for now I can just guess. I have a pretty good idea what is in the account now, and I got a paper statement last month so I know I'm in the ballpark. However, the paper statements will stop because I signed up for the online banking. The only reason I signed up for the online banking is to avoid a new $2 monthly fee for their cost of mailing paper statements. What a bunch of crap!

^I SUCK AT LIFE!

I'm almost always in a hurry when I do things these days, and that needs to stop. Sometimes being in a hurry is unaviodable, but I need to slow it down whenever possible and not try to cram so much in. I have the JH job, the rentals, the home renovation, and I often times don't feel like there is enough time in the day to take care of all my stuff so I rush. That leads to stupid mistakes like not being able to log into my own friggin bank account because I don't know my username and password. Epic fail!

All I wanna know it why? Why isn't my username my email and my usual Rambo password (with numbers at the end.) I seriously use Rambo for most of my passwords, but sometimes I don't because requirements are not met without special characters, etc. When I worked at UPS my password for all their crap was AAaa11!!. I used that because it was easy to type fast. The A is right by the shift key and the 1 isn't too far away either. Unfortunately, they would make me change it every few weeks so I had to get creative. Reason #235,864 why I don't miss working at this shithole.

I guess I don't need to log in this morning. Fuck it! I'll just quit and go use the gym instead. I'm a little sore because I used the gym yesterday morning plus I played racquetball last night. I got out of work a little early so I could play, and I got home to my wife being mad at me because I played racquetball instead of coming home to hang out with her. What a bunch of crap! I got a little boozed up last Saturday night and complained to her about having to go mop up suicide aftermath so I'm a hypocrite for telling her we don't spend enough time together and then leaving work early to play racquetball instead of coming home. I guess. The ends of the weeks are hard for us because I get home in the evening from work and she is just about to leave for work so we don't see each other much at all. What a bunch of crap!

It's hard to make time to hang out with the wife when we have som much going on. I'll have more free time in two months, but for now we are pwned. I don't think it's selfish to want to play racquetball once a week on average, not at all. I keep track in my exercise log, and I've only played 6 times all year. That's not even a once per week average. Racquetball only takes 1.5 to 2 hours so it's not like I'm gone all day. Other than that I just want to use the gym here and there for an hour or so, but I can do that when she sleeps in the morning (she sleeps in later than me because she gets home late a lot of nights.) so that doesn't cut into the time her and I have together.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder anyway, right? Hehehehe.

I gave up on this online banking crap for now. I need to go use the gym and then go to work all day. I was gonna do a bicep and leg workout this morning, but my legs are sore so I think I will do just arms (both bicep and triceps), and a light workout at that. I will listen to Ratt's Detonator album and get my swell on. First I gotta drink this half a can of Monster Energy drink so I can really get the blood flowing through the veins.

I just tried to log into my PNC bank account to see that statement for one of the rental property mortgages, but I cann't access that one either. Gods damn it! After three failed attempts it locked me out. I have that username written down, too. Maybe it made me change the password and I forgot to write that down? Epic fail.

In conclusion, most days I feel like 24 hours in a day is not enough. What a bunch of crap! Come spring/summer I need to haul on a property so I can have a little more free time on average each week. I already have the property to haul on picked out, too. I'm looking at you, Bangor duplex...

Thursday, 2-18-16: Bootleg Properties 2015 totals.
Today at the tax office I had some slow time when no customers were around so I was able to finish totaling all the 2015 Bootleg Properties records. I still may have a few receipts kicking around, but I did get most of them accounted for already. 2015 started out rough when I went way over budget on heating and plowing, but it ended well so overall 2015 was not a bad year for the business.

My vacancies/discounts/bad debts for 2015 totaled $1410, and I budget for $5275. Almost $4000 in my favor. Thank you sir, may I have another? Last couple years my vacancies and related have been way in my favor. However, there is a law of averages so I have no plans to change that projected $5275 number by any sizeable amount. Better to err on the side of caution with all my numbers, and especially with that one.

^Not only did they move out owing my ass some rent in 2015, but they also left the place in a state of relative disrepair including major water damage underneath the bathroom sink. What a bunch of crap!

My heating and furnace bills totaled a bit over $16,000 for 2015. My budget is $15,100 so I went over, but not by as much as I figured. A relatively mild fall with lower gas prices saved me from major damage on that front, and so far for the winter this year I am way under budget for heating costs. Thank you sir, may I have another?

I budget $6100 for repairs and maintenances, and I spent $10,113. What a bunch of crap! Oh well, I made up for that in the bad debt surplus. I always spend more than I budget on repairs and upgrades because I am trying to improve the properties so I can rent to awesome tenants. Shit rentals = shit tenants. Sometimes good rentals still = shit tenants, but odds favor better tenants when places have desirable things like newer appliances, fresh paint, good flooring, porches that aren’t rotting, etc. I may have some older and bootleg properties, but I sure as hell ain’t a scumlord!

^Remodeled kitchen from last July. Nicer kitchen = more rent for me!

^New porch from last summer. Nicer deck = more money for me!

I budgeted $7000 for water and sewer, and I “only” spent $5289. Thank you sir, may I have another? That also includes $500 I had to pay because the Giblet-Head tenants at one of my houses (the one in the photos above in fact) left a massive bill that I still have to finish paying. I could sue them for it, but fuck it the cops are already looking for them so I’m probably pwned. The cops seriously are looking for them, too. I got a call from a sheriff two days ago asking if I knew their whereabouts. AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAA. Epic fail.

Snow removal was $2450, and I budget $2250 so that is not as bad as I expected. I budget on the high side for snow plowing so hopefully this year I will win. Last winter was ridiculous; we got lambasted with storm after storm. It was a bunch of crap!

Most of my other numbers were close to my projections, give or take a little, so in total I ended up only a few hundred dollars below my projected profits for the year. On the scale of my operation that is not bad at all. Can’t complain really. Not only did I make decent money (not TRUMP money, not even close!) but I also was able to do some nifty upgrades such as those pictured above. If I can do that every year then it’s a win.

I had a few tenants move in and move out in 2015, nothing extraordinary there, and for the most part I was able to do a quick turnover with at most a few days of loist rent for painting and the normal types of upkeep. However, in July last year I did eat a shit sandwich when the tenants at the house pictured above moved out owing some rent and a large water/sewer bill. That was a bunch of crap! They had lived in the house about 4.5 years so it was time for some upgrades like new windows, a new kitchen, paint, etc. However, they were hard on the place so that was my "get fucked over" business loss of last year. Hey, it happens. I don't like it, but that's why I err on the side of caution with my budgets.

^They let their 6-year old daughter paint cult-grafitti all over her bedroom walls. What a bunch of crap! For God-squatters they absolutely sucked as tenants of mine in 2015. Good riddance to them at the end. Too bad because they were decent in the beginning.

Every year I owe more and more taxes to the IRS and the state from the rental business because less of my mortgages is interest and more is principal. Depreciation has been constant the last few years so on paper my rentals look better than what the cash flow actually is. That hurts when it’s time to pay the IRS, but it’s a small price to pay to earn a bigger piece of the pie each year. Last year my mortgage payments for the rentals totaled a bit over $42k, and close to $24k of that was principal. Not bad! Sure beats the return you’d get from a savings account, CD, or even from Wall Street investments most years. I’ll take it!

So I’m not 100% finalized on the rental numbers, but I think it’s about there. Last year when I filed as single I owed the IRS $3046 and the state $597. What a bunch of crap! I didn't even finish paying off my IRS bill until December last year gods damn it. This year, for the first time ever, I get to file as married with my lovely wife so we should “only” owe the IRS $1500 and the state $200. That’s half of what we owed last year. Score! I 100% followed my heart when I asked Kat to marry me, but the benefits come tax time are a nice little perk of being married to my best friend.

Sunday, 2-14-16: Suicide cleanup crew.
I got out of work early yesterday so I could go clean up blood, brains, and pieces of skull. What a bunch of crap! I’m tired, I’m frustrated, and I’m sick of having so much on my life plate. It’s time to clear off some of the bullshit.

Kat has bronchitis; her and I have been sick for most of the last week. I am feeling better and have been ok the last couple days, but she is still not feeling so great. We skipped the Jester’s gig Friday night so Kat and I went to bed at a more “normal” time. We were almost asleep when Katherine texted to say she needed a ride home from babysitting even though she already had a ride lined up from her brother so bye bye sleep time for that. We finally got to sleep only to be awoken just before 0100 by Dillon. He had some very bad news, his friend Doug had shot himself in the head and his other friend watched it happen. Not good. Thankfully Dillon lives here with us now so he didn’t actually watch it happen.

We got bits and pieces of the full story over the course of Friday night and yesterday, and apparently Doug and his friend Dan were drinking over at their place. Doug had talked about the ills of the world and how he should just kill himself many times in the past, and last night he started doing the same thing. Doug had a loaded .45 sitting on the coffee table so drunk Dan handed the pistol to drunk Doug and said “Why don’t you just do it then?” Doug put the gun to his head and, at point blank, pulled the trigger. He blew his fucking brains out right there in their living room, and Dan had to call 911 and try to hold what was left of Doug’s exit-wound head together as paramedics and police arrived and the blood flowed.

Needless to say Dan was a shaken up young man. He went with the cops down to the station, and the ambulance took a brain-dead Doug to EMMC where he is currently on life support and is only alive in body because he is 100% brain dead with no chance of recovery. Doug will die, he really already has died, and that is unfortunate. I didn’t know Doug much at all, but he seemed likeable from what I did know of him. We took him with us last summer on a camping trip down to Donnell pond, and Doug was most helpful getting the gear from the truck to the campsite and then from the campsite to the truck when we were leaving. Doug and I had a chance to chat some about life and the world in general, and I could tell he had an abundance of intelligence with a lot to potentially offer to the world. Sadly that was never to be.

Dillon went down to the police station Friday night to bring Dan back to here, and he stayed the night and a good part of yesterday with us at our house. I worked yesterday, but I got out a bit early so I could come home and be helpful. Dan had decided he wanted to go back to their house and stay there, a decision I personally found baffling, but hey man it’s your call so go for it. No way if my best friend blew his brains out in front of me and I had to hold his dying body while EMTs arrived I would want to go back to the scene, but he really has nowhere else to go so maybe that’s why? He could have stayed here with us for the time being of course, but he preferred to go back to his “home” instead.

Dan is a lost man in this world, at least from what I can tell. He doesn’t work, he has no wheels, he is flat broke, and I don’t know how he was ever able to exist. I guess he is the type of person who just mooches? I don’t know him well enough to make a difinitive comment one way or the other, but the house they were living in belongs to Doug’s father. Doug’s father is a trucker who is rarely ever there, and the house is fucking disgusting. Their furnace doesn’t work so the place is freezing cold, it’s a pig sty because they never bother to clean, and in essence they live like white trash in squalor. Daniel was actually living over there with them until he moved in with us last summer, and we are both very thankful he wasn’t there last night to bear witness to the horror that unfolded.

So last early evening Kat and I had to go clean up Doug’s suicide aftermath off of the floor of their house. I was not happy about doing it, but I love my wife so of course I would never refuse. However, a part of me did want to stop and ask “Why the FUCK are we doing this?” Another part of me wanted to ask “Dan, why the FUCK are we here at this house right now?” Nevertheless I kept my mouth shut and did what needed to be done. We had to make a trip to Hannaford to buy paper towels, latex gloves, and cleaning solution because they had none of that stuff there at their house. What a bunch of crap!

I had thought I was just there to be the chauffer, to drop Katherine off at her friend’s house and then to drop Dan off at the house, but nope. Kat planned to actually go inside with him, and I was surprised when we opened the door, stepped inside, and had to see a giant blood pool with bits of brain and skull mixed in. Dan seemed to be in ok spirits considering he handed his best friend a loaded pistol and told him to shoot himself only 19 hours prior, but I guess he was still in shock? Either that or truly emotionally impotent. I told Dan to go into the other room and Kat and I would clean up the mess, but he insisted he would help and it was okay because he had a friend die in his arms in the past so he can handle it. Um… ok dude whatever you say.

Am I a selfish assbag for thinking Kat and I shouldn’t be the ones on our hands and knees in a disgusting, freezing cold house cleaning up the remnants of a kid whom we barely knew? Maybe. Poor life decisions by not only Doug but also his friends (DAN) and more importantly his own family led to his demise. Doug’s own father allowed him to live in squalor, in a barely functional house, surrounded by booze, smokes, and firearms. Just last winter one of their own nincompoop friends shot himself in the leg when they were all drinking and screwing around with firearms at that very house. What a bunch of crap! Daniel was living there at the time, but thankfully he did not get shot or shoot anyone. That was when we really started pushing him to get the hell out and live somewhere that was safe and clean and not filled with Giblet-Heads.

I hope I never have to clean up someone’s suicide aftermath again, ever. It didn’t gross me out because I’ve seen plenty of blood in the past. Gutting a deer is messier than the mess we had to clean up last night. The whole situation is horrible and so tragic, and I hope Dan and all their low to mid 20-something year old friends can learn from this and take a more positive turn in life. It is so sad how things ended for Doug. Dan will bear that burden for the rest of his life.

So because we had to be the suicide cleanup crew last night I haven't even had time to get Kat a Valentine's Day box of chocolates and some flowers. I am just overhwhelmed right now and I'll do it later. Maybe. I ordered her the ring pictured below on Friday 9 days ago, it was supposed to have arrived already, but nothing is here yet. What a bunch of crap! I suck, but in my defense it's not every Valentine's Day even that you have to go clean up a large nearly frozen and congealed puddle of human blood.

^I had to show my wife a picture of this on my computer's Interweb because I don't even have it yet. Gods damn it! I fucking hate this time of year. It's cold and I always get sick. Valentine's Day should be in the summer.

Thursday, 2-11-16: Online banking hilarity.
I use online banking for most of my stuff. I signed up for online banking for TD Bank a few weeks ago, but I already forgot my username and password. What a bunch of crap! I've had online banking for years with Bangor Savings, my primary bank, and I must admit it is quite useful. (I only have TD bank for a couple mortgages, but I do use that business acount as well for some monthly transactions.)

Here is a peek at my online business Bootleg Properties account from last night:


I have Time Warner for cable super-turbo Interweb here at the office and for the apartment above so that comes out automatically on the 5th of each month, $64.99. I was balancing the checkbook when I noticed they put an ad for DirecTV right on my bank statement. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG I'm sure Time Warner loves that! All I wanna know is why? Why does that even happen? Who makes profit from that? Maybe Bangor Savings Bank? I don't know and I already don't even care... whether or not I care.

I ordered new business checks a couple weeks ago because I was almost out, and they raped my ass raw on that cost. $92.08. OMG WTF, OVER? IT SHOULD NOT COST 92 FUCKING DOLLARS FOR SOME BASIC CHECKS THAT SAY BOOTLEG PROPERTIES AND THAT HAVE CARBONS. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! I ordered checks from TD Bank as well because I was almost out of those as well, and they charged my ass $36. Maybe I got more checks from Bangor Savings? I could look but I already gave up. I guess Deluxe Check company can go fuck itself, and maybe my bank can go fuck itself as well if they made profit off that sale. Those whores!

I actually do like Bangor Savings Bank, but this shit makes me like them a little less. Gods damn it.

My gas bills for this month are a lot lower than they were at this time last year during "Snowmageddon" or whatever you want to call it. I personally call it frozen hell on Earth, and it literally would have made me suicidal if I didn't love my wife. This winter has been much more tolerable and generally above average so my gas bills were $2185 total as compared to $3224 last year. Oh Jesus, hell ya! A savings of over $1000 is awesome. However, I got screwed last winter in a major way so this winter is more in line with how things should be. Mother nature owes us a good one, thank you El Nino weather year.

Wednesday, 2-10-16: Bonus time used wisely.
I’ve been sick all friggin’ week. What a bunch of crap! I’ve been worn down and very congested, but I have still gone to work because that is how I roll. Work has been busy this week, but not as bad as last week and I actually had a co-worker in there with me today so I hit the road early. Awesome! I was supposed to work 1000-1900, but I spread out of there just after 1300 because I was not needed. I did not get approval from a boss; I just did it. Oh well, it was a good call and what is right for business.

Yesterday my "boss" came in for a bit to print some checks and to give me great news. [sarcasm] We are supposed to beg our customers to do the surveys that JH emails to them a day or two after we file their taxes, and we even bribe those customers with a chance to win $500. Awesome! I tell my customers to do the surveys, and according to my boss I have gotten perfect feedback from all the surveys that my clients have done. No fails. Awesome! Perfect survey feedback = job security. That's the reason the upper management wants the surveys done, so they can tell who is good and who totally sucks. I am good so I can keep my job.

Unfortunately, everyone else in our region apparently sucks. Like, bad. Some locations are so bad that the survey results are way in the red. I know this because she showed me some of the survey results by using her login, and I saw the scores literally turn red. It's bad when that happens. Some of the preparers whom they have hired this year are 100% terrible. What a bunch of crap! It makes our company look bad and it creates extra work for me when an occasional customer will ask me why something is screwed up, but the fails at the other locations don't affect me too much because I am rocking it in my Bangor Walmart location. Business is up from last year, and customers are overall happy. A win for me, time for a pay raise!

I was pleased to hear that I am their top-rated weapon of choice, and not only that but I also do a LOT of tax returns so they make a lot of money when I work. I can close a lot of "sales" that other preparers can't close. Often times a person will pop in and ask a question, and if you can answer it in the right way then you can start to reel that person in. A less experienced preparer, or a preparer who just doesn't have the right personality for the job, will scare most of those people off. Not good. Because so many of my co-workers have been receiving horrible scores we have some locations at the bottom of the corporate barrel, and my "boss" is freaking out about it. Hey, not my problem boss I do my thing and I do it well. Normally I am humble, but it's the truth. I know what I am doing because I have had years of experience and because I actually give a shit and try. I know how to talk to people, and I know how to get the job done.

I keep putting the term "boss" in quotations because she is not really my true boss. She is a tax preparer who has worked for JH for 3 prior years, and this year they made her a "lead." That means she bounces around some and makes sure there is ink and paper, she can take care of some service issues, and she makes our schedules. So far this year she has been good with my schedule, but yesterday she threw a giant turd my way when she told me the only way she can get survey scores up across the board is to start whoring me out to the other locations. (Term "whoring me out" not actually used, but that is her plan.)

HEY SLAPNUT CHICK WITH MINIMAL AUTHORITY WHO IS NOT EVEN A GOOD TAX PREPARER BUT WHO THINKS SHE IS A GOOD TAX PREPARER, DO NOT PULL ME FROM A GOOD LOCATION THAT IS NOT FILLED WITH THE STENCH OF SUCK AND PUT ME IN SHIT LOCATIONS THAT STINK OF INCOMPETENCE SOLELY BECAUSE YOU NEED A FEW GOOD SURVEY RESULTS. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

^Thanks, boss. You win the fail trophy for trying to fuck me over so you can get a good grade. Gods damn it!

If my pay was entirely hourly and nothing more then I would not care so much, but I get hourly plus a bonus at the end based upon what I do. I am in the second busiest location in the entire frigging state, and I have earned that right because everyone else is new and I have worked for the company longer. Plus that was agreed upon to start the season. Plus I do not suck. I do not want to go to slower locations that other people have fucked all up so some new suckwad can get some of the gravy at my store. FUCK THAT. I told my "boss" that, too. I told her by doing that I am taking a pay cut and yeah, she might get good ratings elsewhere a few times, but then she will get the same shit ratings at my current location so how is that a win? It's like trading a turd for a turd, and it makes no sense. She kept saying sorry she has no choice she needs me, but fuck that I am not taking a pay cut (by lost bonus) to go clean up messes that other preparers have made.

Next week's schedule will be telling. If she does start to whore me out to all the other places then I will have to call Jim, and Jim will fix it because Jim knows that I bring in A LOT of business and I keep people mostly happy. That last part is critical for following years because unhappty people who do file with us definitely won't return again if we piss them off. I don't want to call Jim, but I don't want to get screwed over either so I have no problems going over her Giblet-sized head if I have to. Gods damn it!

Since I got out of work 6 hours early (bonus time!) I made good use of my afternoon by sanding out in the new renovation area, the stairwell and some upstairs. I also met up with Joe, my newest heating contractor, to pay him $1800. Parts and labor for most of the furnace install, beotches. I have $4205 into that heating system out there now, and I budgeted $3000. What a bunch of crap! Oh well, I am under budget in other areas so hopefully in the end I wind up close to my projected $25k for the entire addition/remodel. (LOTS OF SPECIAL FINANCING OFFERS FROM LOWE’S AND HOME DEPOT!)


^Precious... precious 54,000 BTU forced hot air Century brand furnace. The furnace cost $500 at Marden's. Not bad! Unfortunately, everything else to get it going was $3700. Hehehe. Heating guys are not cheap, at least not ones who know what they are doing. That thing should easily head about 1000 square feet, 500 downstairs and 500 upstairs.

Dillon is actually living out there now, and we have had the thing up to 70-ish degrees ever since Monday afternoon. He broke up with his chick and moved into here in the span of only a couple days, but since then he and his chick seem to be on good terms. They took a step back for the time being and hopefully that can help them decide if they are right for each other. He’s 20 and she’s 21 so they both have a lot of time left to sort it all out before they officially get old. They’ve been together for a couple years already.

If all goes as planned I will have the stairwell and bathroom 100% painted by Sunday morning so I can have some more electrical work done. Maybe Bruce can even come to finish some of the plumbing. Getting that bathroom 100% operational will be fantastic, but in reality I do expect that to take a couple more weeks. It’s hard because I am working full time doing taxes so there is never enough time. Even getting a full night's sleep is a challenge on many nights. Tonight Katherine babysits until 2200, maybe 2230, and I can't pick her up and dive straight into bed and immediately fall asleep. Revielle comes too early because either Copperpot stirs or Katherine needs to go to school. Can't wait til next week when she is on school break!

Being sick fuckin’ sucks. A lot. I need to get better ASAP. I was a little sick last week for a day or two, but then I got better. Unfortunately, I went through a stretch of days where I didn’t get enough sleep and I think that was my undoing. Kat is also sick with pretty much the same thing that I have, and she has to work tonight so I hope she can sleep a little before she goes. It’s 1700 now and she is trying to catch a little nap so I am hanging out with Coperpot and Cheza. I’m about to warm up some leftovers, and for some strange reason the leftover broccoli that I cooked is frozen. All I wanna know is why? Why does that happen? Sometimes stuff in the fridge will freeze a little, but not that often. It’s weird.

Broccoli is pretty gross, but if you mask it with other food and/or cheese it becomes tolerable. In theory if I eat veggies I will be healthy. Right? So far this week not so much. What a bunch of crap!

Sunday, 2-07-16: I need more sleep gods damn it.
I haven’t gotten enough sleep lately. What a bunch of crap! It’s starting to catch up with me, but hopefully today I can take a nap and make up for at least a little lost ground. However, I need to work on the house for several hours today so maybe I won’t take a nap. I also have to collect a couple rents still and hopefully book some plane tickets online later as Kat and I try to finalize our family late April/early May vacation plans.

Today is my only day off from JH until next Sunday; I work every single day this coming week Mon-Sat 1000-1900. 50+ hours, beotches! If there is any slow time in the evening I can leave early as I do have a coworker who arrives at 1715. However, lately the place has been very busy so even getting out at 1900 is not always feasible. I did get out at 1800 yesterday and 1800 Friday. Score! On Friday we got a big snowstorm, 11”, so I closed an hour early. It actually snowed all damn day, but despite the horrible roads the office was busy. I even had to turn a lady away at the end of the day. She was bummed out about that, but too bad for her because I was out of there like a fat kid in dodge ball
.
Friday’s storm was a bunch of crap. On Wednesday they said the storm might just graze the coast with a little snow and nothing inland. Thursday they revised it to 1-3” for our area, and by Friday morning they were guessing we would see 4-6”. Nope! We got pwned and now the world is a frozen tundra again. We did have some record warmth a couple times last week and I went for three jogs outside during that span, but now it’s back to the elliptical for the foreseeable future. What a bunch of crap!

I need to go finish the downstairs room here for the home renovation. I should be able to get it 100% done today, and we finally have heat out there so oh Jesus hell ya to that! The downstairs room was going to be Kat’s studio for her thriving DJ business, but unfortunately Dillon hauled on his chick so he moved in with no notice a couple days ago. So for now he will use that room as his bedroom, and when I finish the upstairs (May?) he will move up to the right-side bedroom and Kat can finally have her studio downstairs like we've been planning for close to a year now.

^Finally have the frigging furnace working out there. Awesome!

^I electrocuted myself when I was screwing around with the switch for that overhead light. What a bunch of crap! Oh well, 110v doesn't really hurt. Hehehehe. Today I should have that room cleaned up and looking good.

The home renovation is way behind schedule and has been for months now, but I have several things really close to the completion mark. If I had an uninterrupted week straight I could have the downstairs 100% done and the upstairs hall/stairwell, bathroom, and Katherine’s bedroom done. Unfortunately, I work a shitload at JH this time of year so I just don’t have the time. I did work out there in the room pictured above from 0400-0800 Thursday morning and a few hours during the day on Wednesday, but I haven’t been able to take a full day and focus solely on our own house in a long time. What a bunch of crap!

Copperpot is playing with the cats and trying to steal some of our shoes. He's doing great lately; it's funny watching him bound around in the fresh snow out back. I just took his picture a few minutes ago:

Copperpot is one of the smartest dogs I've ever seen, and we think within the week we won't even need to put him in his crate when we bivouac at night. He was house trained within a week of living with us. Awesome!

Tonight is Superbowl 50, the Denver Broncos vs. the Carolina Panthers. The Panthers are favored to win as they were easily the best team in the NFL this season. However, the Broncos have an awesome defense and Peyton Manning as their quarterback so you never know. The Broncos beat the Patriots two weeks ago in Denver in a close game. What a bunch of crap! I don’t care that much who wins and I might not even watch the whole game, but I would root for Carolina because it’s in my blood to want anyone with a last name of Manning to fail. Brady > Manning. The end.

Monday, 2-01-16: Star Wars revisited.
I'm fighting off a cold. What a bunch of crap! I haven't been 100% over the past couple days, but thankfully I'm not so sick that I'm stuck in bed. It's more of an annoyance than anything, some coughing, a bit of a runny nose, and a run down feeling. I haven't had the strength to use the gym and I had to cancel racquetball yesterday. Gods damn it! Thankfully today I feel somewhat better; I'm hoping I can muster the energy later today to go for a jog outside since it's supposed to be 50 degrees. Average temp for today is 28 so we're gonna smoke-check that number. In fact at 0815 it's already about 40 out there. Oh Jesus, hell ya!

Every frigging year around this time of year I get a little (or in some years a lot) sick. I can pretty much throw it on my life schedule for at least a few days in the middle of winter. I wonder if the winter weather has something to do with it? I almost never get sick in the summer so I'll roll with that theory. Not getting enough sun? Hell if I know. Reason #458,765 why leaving this state for the winter months is a life goal.

One of the awesome Christmas gifts that my beautiful wife got for me 5 weeks ago was the Star Wars 6-disc DVD set. (or Blue Ray? I don't have a clue but I know it ain't VHS. Hehehehe.) Oh Jesus, hell ya! It's been a while since I saw a Star Wars movie so over the past couple weeks we've been watching them in order. I hate the prequals, the ones Lucas butchered 10-15 years ago, but the originals are masterpieces.

I did watch part I, The Phantom Menace, with Katherine and Kat 1.5 or 2 weeks ago. I never really loved that movie; let me see what I wrote about it all those years ago when we saw it in the movie theater... guy digs deep into the archives of this bootleg site... guy first looks up when it actually came out... okay it was 1999. I didn't even possess this bootleg site back then so nevermind. What a bunch of crap!

^There are a lot of things wrong with this movie. A lot. So many that I can't write about them all at length because I have to go to work at 1000 today. Let me make a bullet point list of some of the most glaring fails.

-Tons of CGI. Way too much use of computer-animated special effects. Despite the fact that this movie took place before the originals the spaceships all look more advanced in their technology, too. Epic fail.

-That little runt who played Anakin Skywalker. Young little turd future Darth Vader was a terrible actor. Maybe not his fault; when I was 8 I couldn't act. I'm 40 now and I have no talent. What a bunch of crap! Plus the budding friendship/romance he had with the princess was fucking gross. She was like 18 and he was 8. Epic fail.

-Mitochlorians. They fucking measured his force-levels by taking a blood sample. OMG THE FORCE IS SOMETHING THAT CANNOT BE MEASURED VIA A TEST TUBE. Way to shit on the concept to wonderfully fleshed out in the originals, George Lucas. Epic fail.

-Jar Jar fucking Binks. Seriously. WTF, over? All I wanna know is why? Why was he put into this movie. This supposed "comic relief" character fails on every single level of the fail-scale. When I see this retarded-looking thing on the screen I just want to watch it die a slow death. Why couldn't he be thrown into the Sarlaac Pit on Tattoine?


^Literally the worst movie character ever. I cannot think of a more lame movie character in any movie that I have ever seen. (Not counting purposely bad or no-budget movies like the ones spoofed on Mystery Science Theather 3000.) For a movie made on this bugetary scale there is no excuse. Fuck you for this, George Lucas. Fuck you very much. Epic fail.

I bet some people sat around a boardroom table and cooked up this bullshit character just to appeal to the kids and to sell toys. I weep for society. The Pod racing scenes can kiss my hairy ass, too. Another attempt to sell toys and to show off CGI. What a bunch of crap!

There really isn't anything I like about this movie. I can tolerate parts of the thing, but it is mostly 10 pounds of shit stuffed into a 5 pound bag. I rate it a 2 on a scale of 1-10, down from probaby the 5 I would have given the thing years ago. Yeah, every time I see it now I hate it more and more.

Despite the fact that I think The Phantom Menace is a terrible fucking movie I still rate it higher than it's sequal, Attack of the Clones. I FUCKING HATE THAT MOVIE. I hate it so much that I didn't even watch it with the ladies. I told them last week to watch both parts II and III when I was at work because I didn't even care... whether or not I cared. Part III isn't as bad (it still kinda sucks!) but I can't stand part II. The "romance" between future Darth Vader and Paddamene is terrible. R2D2 can fly in one scene. Yeah, that's when the movie pulls a Happy Days and jumps the shark.

So I skipped out on parts II and III, but no way I was missing the originals, parts 4-6. I haven't actually sat down and watched the originals in several years so it was nice to revisit some of my favorite movies of all time. We watched Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back last week, and yesterday we finished the series with Return of the Jedi. When I read articles online about Star Wars I see a lot of people saying that Return of the Jedi is the weakest of the three originals, but I say no way man. I love Jedi! For years it was my favorite movie of all time, but it's long since been bumped down to about #2-3 behind The Goonies and maybe The Neverending Story. The Ewoks are awesome, Admiral Ackbar is awesome, the Emporer is a great heel, and the final battle rocks. If you don't think Return of the Jedi is the best Star Wars movie ever made then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.


^BEST STAR WARS MOVIE OF ALL TIME.

Star Wars part 7 came out several weeks ago and has shattered box office records. It's sitting at close to $900 million for US revenue, and that is #1 of all-time and well above Avatar's $760 million. Worlwide it's close to $2 billion. Wow! We haven't seen the movie yet; if all goes as planned we will go see it next Sunday afternoon. I am excited to see part 7, but after the epic fails of parts I-III I'm not super-excited. Thankfully George Lucas didn't make part 7. He sold the franchise to Disney a few years back for something like $4 billion.

I should hop off this bootleg thing so I can buy a couple things at the grocery store and get ready for work. I only work about 3 hours today, just filling in for a bit until I get Katherine from school later. They originally had me scheduled for 3 days off this week, yesterday, today, and Wed. However, being on the schedule for only 36 hours total (1000-1900 Tues, Thurs, Fri, and Sat) isn't something that really works when it's busy and they are short-staffed. I'll work a few hrs today, no prob. I won't work Wed, though. I'll spend that day working on the house.

I'm out of here turds, all two of youz. Goonies never say die!