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"I'll punch her in the face so hard it will turn her back into a man." -Kat (while referencing a transgender person who was heckling one of her friends at Jester's.)

Monday, 4-30-18: How will the latest comic book movies stand the test of time?
Last night we watched The Princess Bride here at home, and today we went to the movie theater for the first showing of the day at 1130 to see Avengers: Infinity Wars. The Princess Bride is a fantastic movie that is one of our all-time favorites. I asked Kat last night where she would place it on her top list, and she said top 5 of all-time. For me I'd go all-time top ten. The Princess Bride is no cinematic masterpiece, but it is so damn fun and infinitely quotable. It's made to be taken lightly.

^"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

^Another classic line. Tommy bought Kat and I two magnets for the fridge a few years ago, and each one is a replica of the lines in the photos above.

What really takes the movie to revered status in my eyes is the perfect casting of Andre the Giant as Fezzik. He's great! Seeing interviews of the cast talk about how great Andre was (RIP) really makes it special. Robin Wright cried in one interview that I saw because she loved him so much.

All the actors in The Princess Bride really seem to be having a great time, and they all did an amazing job. There is a perfect mix of comedy and nostalgia; even some of the bad guys are likeable (Inconceivable!)

Now on to the newest movie available for mass-consumption:

^Avengers: Infinity Wars. Contains a gaggle of superheros, and a very good movie overall. Lots happens, the head bad guy (Thanos) does lots of heelish things, and he proves to be worth of the "final enemy boss" status in the series. So far Infinity Wars has set records for money earned, and it is predicted to become one of the top-grossing movies of all-time worldwide. Not sure it will beat Avatar here in the USA, but maybe. A lot of people seem to dislike Avatar, but I think it's damn good. More Avatar movies are coming at some point, or so James Cameron has stated.

I commend Marvel for building up to Infinity Wars. The plan required a long-term outlook, and it appears to have paid off bigtime for them. Stan Lee must be worth over a billion dollars at this point. I have never been a comic book fan, and for a while I was getting sick of all the comic movies being made. A lot of comic book movies still out there are a bunch of crap. However, after Infinity Wars I am excited to see what comes next. I won't spoil any of the happenings from the movie, but I do recommend it. I'd give it an 8/10. The last few Marvel comic movies have all been really good.

For the first time in many years we saw the movie at the Hoyt's in Bangor. Normally we drive up to Spotlight in Orono, but I think Orono has been rendered obsolete after yesterday. (DELETE DELETE DELETE wrestling reference hehehe) The Hoyts did some major remodeling since the last time we were there, and it is awesome in there. They have really comfy reclining seats that are spaced apart enough to not feel claustrophobic at all. Well done, Hoyts. You earned our business moving forward for the handful of times a year we actually go to the theater.

This bootleg update that no one will ever read is not my comparing The Princess Bride to The Avengers Infinity Wars. There is no right way to compare the two films, and even trying to do so would be a bunch of crap. The Princess Bride 100% stands the test of time, and in a way it is like a fine wine because it gets better with age. Every time I watch it I see things I hadn't noticed before. Princess Bride is a rare 10/10 for me.

I feel like there are a lot of neat little things happening in Infinity Wars that I missed at first viewing because A LOT is happening throughout. Marvel kicked ass at creating characters worth caring about, and some of my favorites include the entire Guardians of the Galaxy gang (who all play a part in Infinity Wars), Iron Man, Thor, and Black Panter. Even most of the secondary characters are awesome in the Marvel movies. I do think most of the new Marvel movies will stand the test of time because they have been great, but I don't think any of them can ever reach into my all-time top 10 list. Only time will tell.

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Sunday, 4-29-18: Siding needs install.
Last November/December I canceled a window in the living room. The window was useless, especially since I did the addition to the house and put a window nearby a couple years ago. In order to cancel the window I had to remove a section of siding and plywood the opening. This is what it looked like a half a year ago:

^In that photo you can see how close the new window is to the one I removed. I planned to reinstall all the siding in December before tax season started, but I blew it and never got it done. What a bunch of crap! Once winter hit I had no chance anyway since snow buried all my spare siding pieces.

So the siding never got reinstalled, and the house has had a ghetto look on that section for several months. Epic fail me. The weather was sneaky-nice for a while around midday today so I spent a couple hours outside. First was a walk to the park with the dogs, and then I dug through all the spare siding pieces, hosed off the dirt and leaves that were ground into a lot of the scraps, and I installed a few chunks back onto the side of the house. I could have reinstalled it all this afternoon, but F that I lost my motivation. I'll do it this week. Maybe. Hopefully!

I lifted weights and played racquetball this morning, and it was a good workout. I also did my first 3-mile jog of the year yesterday afternoon. 25:16, beotches. An 8:25 per mile pace is not that good, but I've done worse and bonus for me I made it the whole way without having to walk any of it. Nicer weather makes a huge difference. I got a lot of exercise last week, and I hope to get a lot of exercise this week as well because the following week I think I'll be busy. I'll spend a couple days in the midcoast turkey hunting around the 7th-8th, and then I might be helping Jason rough-in wiring for a high-end audio and video job on the coast. No plans are 100% concrete yet, but hopefully I can firm it up soon.

I have a lot of little things to do this coming week. First, I have new tenants moving into my old apartment on Wednesday. I took a couple hours yesterday doing some touch-up painting, and I will spend a couple more hours in there tomorrow/Tuesday. Overall I am very pleased with the condition of the apartment. The tenant who moved out has some rogue cat supposedly living in the cellar that he plans to come get, but I have not seen the damn thing yet. He left some food and a litter box so the cat won't die. I'm not even sure the cat is even in the basement. Hopefully he can swing by Tuesday and find the frigging thing because I don't want to deal with it.

I have to put fresh oil and gas into the mower, and I think by the end of this week I'll need to do a little mowing. Finally things are getting green. I also should sharpen the mower blade or just replace it. I have to do some raking and yard cleanup, and I have some brush to drag to the street from this epic fail last fall:

^What a bunch of crap! I still have all the brush from that fallen tree in a pile at that property.

The city does a spring cleanup every May where they go around and collect all brush and white goods (stoves, water heaters, etc) so I want to take advantage of that. I already had a little white goods pile of an old range and four water heaters, but someone scarfed those up within about a day. Seeing them disappear = awesome! I can't imagine they were worth very much in scrap value, but my trash was someone else's treasure so score one there.

In all prior years that I can remember the city also has a free dump week. Many years ago it was actually a free dump month, but they scaled it back to just a week. Hey, no problem a week is fine. Unfortunately, this year there is no free dump week at all. The landfill will be open extended hours, but it will cost money to haul on all my junk. OMG FUCKERS. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

I like Brewer, it seems like a decent little city, but this place is getting gods damned expensive and that pisses me off. Our property taxes on this house are about $4000 per year, and it's far from the Ritz here. Quarter acre, nothing super fancy, pwned. Trash is pay-as-you-throw, but thankfully I use the dumpster over at my gym/office property. If not for that dumpster we'd have to buy orange bags and I guess that would be a few bucks a week.

I wish we could pay less property taxes to Brewer since I don't give a crispy crap about the schools. People with kids who go to school should pay more gods damn it. Kids get people a lot more tax refund so I say just take the child tax credit/EIC and pump it right into the school systems. Unfortunately, my idea though perfect in my own eyes is epic fail in the eyes of the masses. People like it when others bear the cost of things. That is why something like 49% of the populace take more than they give. What a bunch of crap!

Maybe years from now we will haul on Brewer and live in a cheaper town. Being close to everything is awesome, but paying $350 a month in property taxes sucks. A lot. Oh, city water/sewer is about $1000 a year for this house, too. A house with a well and a septic system would most likely be cheaper than city utilities in the long-run. How much does a well-pump cost? I know a new leach-field for septic is epic costly so maybe that $1000-ish a year for water/sewer isn't that bad. Also being in town gives us access to gas heat. Bangor Gas does fuck its customers by doubling (tripling!) rates in the winter, but gas is still cheaper than oil.

It kinda sucks knowing that one year in the future when this house is paid off (26 years to go!) it will still cost several hundred a month just to operate with property taxes, water/sewer, electricity, and heat. What a bunch of crap that is! Oh well, life is all about making money and then seeing it all disappear.

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Friday, 4-27-18: A few photos of things I have been working on over the past week.
This has been my first full week "off" since tax season ended. However, I have had plenty of things on the list to work on so it hasn't been a vacation. I spent several hours working on the new ceiling for the gym. Here is what it looked like this morning:

The first step in the new ceiling install, and the step that takes the longest, is putting in all of those furring strips 12" on center. It would be easier if things were level, but unfurtunately they are not so I have to make it work. I also have to install new recessed lighting, and it will take many more hours just to complete the prep work before I can even install my first ceiling tile. I doubt I'll have it done before June. Thankfully it is not a time-sensitive project.

The rest of the ceiling still looks like this:

Bruce and Kevin finished installing my new hot water system for that building last Saturday, and so far it is working like a boss. I had Jeremy help me install a range at a nearby property and remove the old water heaters a couple days ago; I bought a used oven for $150 for the property that I manage since their oven has not been working correctly. I had it repaired a few months ago, but more issues recently arose and it was to the point where replacement > more repairs. We pulled the old stove out, and I needed to use the power cord from the old unit so when I took the housing cover off I was dumbfounded to discover this:

From a distance it does not look too horrible, and it is hard to tell what that that thing to the right of the cords is. However, up close it becomes very obvious and it is not for the squeamish.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PHOTO IS A DISGUSTING BUNCH OF CRAP SO DO NOT LOOK AT IT IF YOU CANNOT TAKE THE PRESSA.

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IT IS A DEAD, DRIED-UP CORPSE OF A MOUSE/RAT:

^OMG WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! All I wanna know is why? Why did that happen? There is a metal cover over those wires so that little rodent had to crawl up into a quarter-sized access hole and wedge itself in there. I do feel badly because that poor little bugger no doubt suffered greatly while stuck in there. I hope it actually just got electrocuted and died fast, but I'm not so sure. Would not surprise me if it got hopelessly stuck and just died.

So some dead mouse or rat (it's big might have been a rat but no way to tell for sure) decided to try and live in the kitchen oven. All I wanna know is why? Why did it do that? What was its end-game when it made that decision? Did it think it was gonna find a rodent version of El Dorado? Epic fail and what a bunch of crap all rolled up into one.

I had the tenant who lived in the apartment above the gym, my old apartment, move out yesterday. He left the place pretty clean and not needing much work. I spackled all the little tack and nail-holes from his pictures and other personal belongings today, and I also made a trip to Lowe's to buy some supplies. I'll do some painting there, but overall I think I can have it ready for the new tenants in just a few hours. Maybe tomorrow I will paint. All depends on how much booze I drink tonight! Heheh.

This is a catchy song that I'm not familiar with. Kool and the Gang: Misled. I was watching the Red Sox vs. the Tampa Bay Rays, but that game ended a few minutes ago with a 4-3 Sox loss. What a bunch of crap! So now I am on channel 1928 ripping out some 80s tunes before I finish this bootleg update that no one will ever read and go to Jester's.

I tried DDP Yoga this morning. Yeah, Yoga. I don't really know what Yoga is, and I am not so sure I want to do it on a regular basis. DDP (Diamond Dallas Page) is a former pro-wrestler turned motivational inspirer so Kat bought his yoga DVD a couple months ago and has been using it to help her surgically-repaired left knee recover. I just want to play racquetball, lift weights, and go jogging. F yoga. However, I don't want to be an old set-in-my-ways fuckin' dink just yet (not 100% anyway) and because I love my wife I decided to give it a try. It was hard! I could not even do a couple of the things in that 30-minute training session. What a bunch of crap!

From what I can tell this yoga is just a bunch of stretching. I guess that is a good thing because I don't stretch for shit and I probably should. I did the yoga and then I went to my bootleg gym to get my swell on. I was not sure if the yoga would wear my loser ass out, but I still felt pretty good in my gym. In fact this has been my best week of exercise all year. I can jog outside without freezing so that is awesome. I guess winter is all done now. Finally! F winter up its gods damned ass. Unfortunately my cardio is poor so I cna't jog very well right now. What a bunch of crap! Oh well, I'll do better.

I have a lot of things on my "to do " list, but I feel like I have it well in hand. New tenants for that vacant apartment move in next Wednesday so I have plenty of time to get it ready for them. I'll pick away at that gym ceiling, and next month during good weather days we will work on getting our back yard looking mint. We plan to add a second raised garden, and we already did a bunch of yard work out there during two nice weather days earlier in the week. Next Wednesday is forecast to be 77 so that will be AWESOME. Today was not bad, 64 and some sun before evening rain moved in. When I went for my fail-jog there was no rain and the weather was about perfect for it. I'm a pussy so any weather outside of a range of roughly 50-75 is either too cold or too hot for a good jog. What a bunch of crap!

I will be busy for a few stretches of time next month. First, Mom flies out west with Aunt Susie (RIP Uncle Dave) in a week so around the 7th-8th of May I plan to be down in the midcoast to spend some time with Dad and to do some turkey hunting. I talked to Mom tonight for a while as I do on many Friday nights, and she said Dad is recovering well from his hip replacement surgery from a month ago. Jason wants me to help him on a job in Stockton Springs around May 10th for some time (a few days?) and then we take our family vacation from May 19-25. Kat also has a couple bigger gigs next month that I will help her with, a prom and a party. I have a feeling May will fly right by, but I hope it does not fly by too quickly.

I am so glad that I sold my Bangor duplex earlier this year. No regrets about that at all. ZERO. I make a tad less money now, but I feel very in control of my time management for the near future. I have no other tenants who have given me notice of intent to move, and I have not had to chase people for rent, so if that keeps up then I *might* have a very easy summer. I'd love to have an easy summer and fall before I get busy again doing taxes, but it is way too soon to know for sure how things that far in advance will go. I have plenty on my list to stave off boredom, but most of what is on my list is not on a deadline so Oh Jesus Hell ya to that!

I should head down to the bar now. Hopefully the place is not too mobbed becasue F being there when it is packed full. If I am smart I won't drink too much, but that is a 50/50 proposition at this point. What a bunch of crap!

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Friday, 4-20-18: A nice anniversary day.
Yesterday was our 3-year anniversary, and it was a very nice day overall. We watched some Westworld on HBO (great show so far; we're working through season one), we had a nice dinner at Las Palapas, and we watched Rampage at the movies. Rampage was not a good movie, but it was not a bad movie. Plotlines and many characters that seemed very far-fetched, good special effects, saved from being a total piece of shit because The Rock was the star actor. The Rock is great, and most of his movies are watchable at least. However, the Fast and Furious movies kinda suck despite the fact that it has likeable actors in it.

I worked for about 3 hours today on apartment stuff. Had a new range delivered to my Chamberlain St duplex and stowed most of the old ceiling tiles from my gym over there, too. Tomorrow I'll work on my gym area while Bruce and Kevin work on my new hot water system for that building. I'm hoping coverting to natural gas with one cental unit for the four apartments there makes financial sense not only for me but also for the tenants. Time will tell on that decision, but I spent a lot of time on it (and money!) so hopefully in the end it is the right decision.

The Red Sox are in Oakland tonight playing against the A's. Since it is a west coast game it was a 2200 start time, much past my bedtime on most nights except for Kat's karaoke Friday nights at Jester's. The Red Sox are losing 1-0, but it is only the 1st inning now. The Sox have been dominant so far in the early part of the season. They are 16-2 so far. OMG!

A 4-game lead in the division this early is great, but the season is only about 10% done so there is a lot of time for corrections in those standings. Hopefully this Red Sox team can stay healthy and crush everyone this season. They have loads of young talent and a very bloated payroll so basically half the success is just bought. Years ago I used to lament how the Yankees seemingly had unlimited payroll, but now the Red Sox are in the same boat as the Yankees in terms of money spent. What a bunch of crap!

I'm looking forward to early next week when the weather improves into the upper 50s and low to mid 60s. It will finally be spring! This cool weather is a giant turd. Most days this month hae been in the 30s and 40s. The canoe race is tomorrow, but because the weather has sucked so much and because of tax season I don't even care... whether or not I care, and I won't be doing the race. Maybe I will do the race again one year in the future, but maybe not. I do enjoy doing the thing, but it is a lot of work and a full day of my precious... preecious time when I could be doing other things like hanging out with my awesome wife.

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Wednesday, 4-18-18: TAX SEASON IS OVER.
I did 5 tax returns yesterday, my final day, and that put my final tally up to 320 for the season. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I would have done a few more, but Lynn worked with me for the final two days so she also did a few. The last couple seasons people have quit so I've been all by myself; it was nice to have the help with me at the end because once I hit my personal goal of 301 I lost the drive to do a shitload more. Last year my tally was 322 so I actually ended up a tad lower this year, but the difference is minute. Who knows, maybe one or two of my "on hold" files will come to the office and finish up later this month and I will end up at 322.

I don't think my goal will be 301 next season. However, maybe after 8 months "off" I will rekindle my drive and want to do a shitload of taxes again. Doing over 300 tax returns in one season entails some brutal days. If I do too many returns in one day I risk making mistakes, and I get a little burned out. Next season I think anything over 200 would be good. I did a lot more support for others this year, too. Many of the newer employees reached out to me for help, and I had to fix mistakes made by some, so it was a very busy season for me overall.

My season doing taxes is over, but I still agreed to work a couple or three hours this afternoon breaking down the little office in my Walmart. This office will be nothing but an empty "FOR LEASE" space by the end of today:

The IRS computers crashed out hard for a good chunk of yesterday so the IRS extended the filing deadline to today. What a bunch of crap! However, I don't think it will affect me. As far as I know we're still breaking down in all the Walmart locations today.

It feels pretty good knowing that I *mostly* get to be my own boss for the next 8 months. I don't feel overwhelmed with the amount of work on my schedule, and that is a fantastic feeling. It seems most of the recent years when tax season ends I have a big buildup of apartment stuff to do so I have to dive right in and do a lot of work. Hauling on my bootleg Bangor duplex helps a lot. I do have tenant turnover happening at the end of next week, but I don't expect that to be a major investment of my precious... precious time. Maybe a few days at most, and hopefully not even full days. Some painting will be needed there, but as far as I can tell everything else in that apartment is in great shape.

A massive water heater install/upgrade is half to 2/3 complete, and this weekend Bruce will finish that for me. Bruce plans to spend Saturday on it, and Saturday is the day of the Kenduskeag Stream Canoe Race so it seems unlikely I will do the race. Maybe if there is very high water I would want do do it in my little raft... I still have a couple days to finalize that decision.

^The new water heater is mostly installed. Bruce needed a part for the cast iron connection, and he should have that Saturday. Once the new one is working we can shut down all the old ones and rip them out.

I also started taking down the old gym ceiling last weekend while Bruce and Kevin worked on the new water heater install. I wanted to stay mostly out of their way so I stayed close and did some of that in between a trip to Home Depot for supplies, paying some bills, and playing racquetball with Deno. The ceiling in the gym looks like this now:

I installed the suspended ceiling that was there at least 10 years ago. Maybe 12 or 13 years back? I know it was very shortly after I bought the building. It was one of the first suspended ceilings that I ever did, and overall it was a fair install. Not the best, but far from horrible. I know suspended ceilings are supposed to have around a 4" clearance to the joists and beams above, and I only left a couple inches. What a bunch of crap! The suspended ceiling was incomplete on the far side in that last photo, and I want to replace those fluorescent lights and entire ceiling with something akin to this:

^From November or December of last year. Cat not included in the gym remodel!

The ceiling will take a long time to do because nothing above is truly level. Oh well, I have 8 more months before I am back at work for JH so I should be able to make it happen. I want to do it this spring, and I plan to work on it some this Friday and this weekend while Bruce finishes the water heater. Early next week is forecast for some spring weather with highs of 60+ on Monday and Tuesday so those will be the days I spend taking care of some exterior projects. Nice days = work outside. Mediorce or crummy weather days = do that ceiling.

Spring is long overdue. The first part of this month has been several degrees below normal cold. What a bunch of crap! I went for a jog earlier, and it was pathetic. 2 miles of some jog, some walk, 43 degrees with a raw breeze, and it took me about 18 minutes. Cardio conditioning = worst since I was in my 20s. Epic fail. If I was in decent shape I'd be able to do that in under 16 minutes. However, I am getting old so maybe my "best" days are behind me already. I struggle to jog when it is cold. I also struggle when it is too hot. I'm just not a good runner. What a bunch of crap!

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Tuesday, 4-17-18: RIP Gunnery Sgt. Hartman.
R. Lee Ermy, better known as Gunnery Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket, passed away Sunday. What a bunch of crap! Hartman was fucking awesome. I used to quote him quite often on this bootleg site of mine, and I appreciate his excellence. I still quote him from time to time both on this turd-heap and in life.

^I WILL MOTIVATE YOU PRIVATE PYLE, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL IN THE CONGO!

Hartman borderline made the first half hour of Full Metal Jacket a comedy with his drill-instructor barrage of insults. Full Metal Jacket is a dark movie overall and in no way a comedy, but the Hartman parts of the movie are epic. I remember watching the movie when I was younger, probably a teenager, and Dad said the boot camp scenes in the movie were very realistic as compared to what he experienced. Full Metal Jacket is a Vietman War flick, and in my opinion it is the best war movie ever made.

I still quote Hartman to this day, especially with my DISAPPEAR, SCUMBAG. Several years ago I taught Kelly's 8-year old son that line, and he would hilariously go around saying "Disappear, stumpback." Every time he said it I laughed, and of course that encouraged him to say it even more. Kelly seemed less than impressed. God that seems like ancient history now to me. Hopefully the kid, who must now be a teenager, still uses that line!

^Inspired entirely by Hartman's Full Metal Jacket quotes on this bootleg piece of dump site. True story, half of the insults that he hurled in that movie were improv. No script, no lines, just him being awesome. He legit was a Marine and a drill instructor during the Vietman era.

I still have two Gunnery Sgt. Hartman dolls in the closet. Yeah, actual dolls. They're definitely not dolls for kids, though. You can push a button on the back of the things and various insults are broadcast. I would guess by now the batteries have died on both since it has been so many years.

RIP R. Lee Ermy, you will be missed by many. Thank you for your awesome acting career and for your actual service to this country back in 'nam.

Drop and give me 25, and wipe that stupid-looking grin off your face.

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Sunday, 4-15-18: Two nights at the bar, and the last one was epic.
What a weekend it has been. I started it off on kind-of a sour note Friday evening. The tax office was crazy busy during the day Friday so I was feeling mentally beat, and then I had to help one of Kat's friends that night with his taxes so I was really beat. I was tired of looking at numbers and I was feeling like just staying home. Jester's was packed full so I did play a little bit of Super Mario Wii as I drank some coffee brandy and milk, but I died 10000 times and made no progress. What a bunch of crap! Being half in the bag and playing the higher levels in that game = epic fail.

I finally got to Jester's around 2330, and the place was still PACKED. It was a good crowd, lots of great people there, but I just could not get myself into the HAVE FUN zone that I need in order to survive a night in that place. I love Jester's, but sometimes I just don't feel like being there. Seems to me there is a relationship of the amount of work I have scheduled vs the amount of free time that I have. Making things worse was the fact that Bruce was going to show up at my gym rental property the next morning at 0800 to start a major hot water system upgrade. I should have been in a celebratory mood since I surpassed my 301 season goal, but I was just too beat by the end of the day.

Jester's stayed busy up until the end, and it took us forever to break down and to go home. By then I was grumpy because I was exhausted and just wanted to bivouac. I didn't drink too much Friday night so I could wake up and be fully functional yesterday morning. My plan worked out great because I got a lot done yesterday, and I even played some great Rball games against Mike. Brue and his helper, Kevin, made good progress on the new water heater all day yesterday. Kat spent the afternoon with some of her friends so we were both busy, but by evening we were free and we decided to go out on the town. We checked out the new Cap's Tavern for the first time (nice-looking place but feels more like a cafeteria than a bar. Too white, too sterile as compared to the old Cap's.) before we ended up at Jester's.

The Saturday crowd at Jester's was a good one. Nowhere near as busy as Friday, but still pretty happening. There was an IWE show so many of the wrestlers were there, too. I almost was going to go to the IWE show because ODB was the featured wrestler, but in the end we decided to skip it and go to Cap's. We were hopeful that we night meet ODB, but I didn't have any expectations of such since we did not even go to the wrestling show.

We had some Fireball shots, and I had some Cider beer, so I was feeling pretty damn good later in the night when all of the sudden there was this lady in front of me waiting to get a drink at the bar and I KNEW right away who it was. ODB! OMG AWESOME. However, I didn't talk to her because F that she was off duty and I wanted to be polite. Thankfully Kat was hitting major booze-warp due to several of her friends buying her shots, so she was plenty willing to chat it up with the best female wrestler of all time. I did tell ODB she would not have to pay for her drinks (she was waiting to order and pay for a drink at first) and it would be on our tab so guess what she did? She bought PBR, one of the cheapest beers they have. OMG AWESOME.

ODB is a hilarious wrestler who has a "white trash" gimmick where she brings a flask to the ring and wrestles "half in the bag." Obviously it's all for show, but she is very good at what she does and she always made me laugh when I watched her wrestle on TNA Impact Wrestling.

^From a few years back.

We don't watch Impact Wrestling anymore because it left Spike TV and went to some low-grade network called POP TV. Plus they lost most of their most entertaining wrestlers like ODB, AJ Styles, Kurt Angle, Sting, Bobby Roode, etc. Many of those listed are now in the WWE, and that is what we watch. Monday night RAW and Tuesday Smackdown. ODB never went to the WWE, I guess she just wound down her career and focused on other things after she left TNA.

When ODB came into Jester's I was shocked, amazed, and happy to just get to see her in person. I didn't expect to actually talk to her, but thanks to Kat's enthusiasm ODB got her drink and sat at our table with us. OMG THE BEST FEMALE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER OF ALL-TIME* DECIDED TO SIT AT OUR LITTLE BAR-TABLE WITH US AND THEN SHE ACTUALLY STARTED TALKING TO US AND IT WAS EPIC IN EVERY SINGLE WAY. ODB was very easy to talk to, and she was super cool about being there. I don't think most of the bar patrons gave a shit that a pro-wrestler who has been featured on a national wrestling TV show was at Jester's, but Kat and I loved every minute of it.

ODB actually hung out with us for a long time. At least an hour I'd say. During that time her, Kat, and I talked at length. ODB was totally cool about talking wrestling, and she even talked about other interesting stuff like where she is from, her food truck, online dating, and where she is in her life. Seems like pro wrestling isn't something she does regularly anymore, but she still seems to love it all. We talked about watching Wrestlemania, too. Overall she was totally cool, and by the time she left it felt like she was more a new friend than a semi-famous wrestler. Kat actually even asked her to do photos with us, to which she happily obliged. I told her I would pay her the going rate to have a pic taken with a famous person, but she would not let us pay. AWESOME. I guess most famous people don't charge a fee for photos, but plenty of them do and I am glad she did not.

^The boob-grab is part of her wrestling persona.

Laat night ended up being one of the best nights I've had in a very long time. Even before ODB came to hang out with us we were having a really good time. Huge difference for me from one night to the next! On Friday night I was miserable and just wanted to go home and go to bed, but then last night, at the same bar and with many of the same people, I was having all kinds of fun. We went to bed close to 0200 for the second night in a row, and we did not get enough sleep because we were both up relatively early both days. I'll probably crash hard tonight, but right now I feel pretty good. Even though I did get liquored up last night I stopped at the end so I am not hungover at all, and I even played Rball again today. Bruce worked for 1/2 of the day on the new water heater before he was forced to stop because Lowe's does not carry the specific 1" fitting he needs to adapt the cast iron to the water heater. What a bunch of crap! Oh well I don't mind I am happy with what he got done this weekend. Next weekend we can hopefully finish it all up.

*Opinions vary on who the best female wrestler of all-time is. Most would choose a female who is capable of putting on a ***** athletic competition, but I think ODB is the best just because she is hilarous and totally believable in her "white trash" persona. Pro wrestling is a fake sport so to be being entertaining > being a talented athlete.

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Thursday, 4-12-18: Wow I'm not doing taxes.
I actually have a lunch break at work today. Often times when the tax filing deadline is mere days away I get busy, but today is a friggin' joke. On busy days I don't take a lunch break because I'd rather be working. I can shovel in a sandwich in 5 minutes if need-be. This place was busy the last two days, though. So far today I haven't done much at all, and I'm all caught up. Being caught up is a great feeling, but I would like to have a couple more customers before the day ends so I can make it to my 301 goal. I'm at 299 now, and I have four appointments scheduled for tomorrow, so I'm in good shape to make it. After today I am only scheduled to work tomorrow, next Monday, and next Tuesday. 3 days left. Awesome! However, I will work for a couple hours next Wednesday helping to break down this little bootleg office. We spread out of all the Walmarts fast once the season ends.

Since there are no customers I checked out the Interweb a bit, read a few articles on how to do a will. I don't necessarily trust the 'web for something so important, but it is a good place to start. I don't have a plan in place for if I die so that needs to change post-haste. Legal Zoom offers some package for $149, but I don't know enough about it and it seems like a bad idea overall to make a will on a website. From what I read it seems that if I do die then Kat gets my stuff by default since I don't have any kids. Thank the gods who do not exist for that because this is what I still think of kids:

^I totally agree, Mama Fratelli. Kids to suck. Goonies never say die!

I got tired of looking at death stuff, it makes my head spin, so I'll get back to it at some point. I don't think I'm dying anytime soon, but I could fall off a roof or get cancer like what happened to poor Uncle Dave recently. Speaking of falling off a roof, I do need to get my arse up on one of my rental property roofs again ASAP. I was up there last Saturday for a bit trying to do some patching. A flat section of the bootleg thing leaks, and I can't find the exact spot where the leak is occurring so I plan to paste about 20 gallons of this stuff all over the most likely area of fail:

^It cost $45 per 5-gallon at Lowe's, but score one for me when I was there last week they had four damaged ones for sale for only $5 each. Oh Jesus hell ya! They were in plastic because the containers had ruptured, but seems to me almost all of the product is still there. $20 bucks for all? Me thinks hell ya! 20 gallons is way more than I need, but I'd rather overdo it then underdo it.

The roof is new as of only a few years ago so all I wanna know is why? Why have I had issues with the thing? Well since I was the carpenter I suppose that question requires no thoughtful answer. I obviously screwed it up. What a bunch of crap! When did I do that roof? Guy looks...

^It was 2011, and the area that flattens out is having all the issues. Gods damn it! At first I thought some of the issues were related to ice-damming because over the years that area is very prone to it, but lately even with no snow and ice up there when it rains it leaks into the kitchen below. Last year I threw a tarp up there as a temporary fix, but the tarp no longer serves its intended temporary purpose. I removed it Saturday because it had a bunch of holes in it. Tarps do NOT work as a long-term solution on roofs!

I hope my master-bootleg plan of using a shitload of roof repair product works because if not then I will have to rip it all up and redo the entire section. That will SUCK. I used ice and water shield over the entire flatter area underneath back in 2011 so I must have had some sub plywood warp a bit. Hell I dunno for sure, but it does piss me off. I could see a few areas where the roof shingles appear to have buckled a bit so I'll focus there. Would be nice to not have to do extensive and costly repairs.

This month has been 5.1 degrees colder than average. What a bunch of crap! When I was doing some patching last Saturday it was only in the low 40s so the stuff did not spread well. I might be able to do a little tomorrow morning before work when we are warmer, but most likely it will have to wait until after tax season because this coming weekend and early nex week are forecast to be pretty cold. Upper 30s, low 40s. Epic mother nature fail. Plus it looks like we might get a big rain storm Monday. What a bunch of crap!

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Wednesday, 4-11-18: RIP Uncle Dave.
Poor Aunt Susie. her husband, my Uncle Dave passed away yesterday. I feel badly for my cousins David and Michael, too. I never really knew Uncle Dave too well, but I remember him from we were kids and would go hang out at their house on Cape Cod. We had many fun times there as kids playing with our cousins and the other kids whom Aunt Susie babysat. Uncle Dave was a bigtime Boston sports fan so I'm glad he passed away knowing the Red Sox are playing awesome ball right now (crushed the Yankees last night at Fenway and now off to a 9-1 start) and knowing the Celtics and Bruins are both playoff-bound.

Aunt Susie and Uncle Dave were married for a long time. I don't know the exact year, but I recall being a kid at the wedding. There was a walnut tree there. Must've been in the mid 80s because I barely remember it. Then at some point in the 80s I remember we were on Cape Cod, we planned to go back to Maine, but we stayed extra because David was born. Or maybe that was Michael. Sadly I don't talk to my two cousins anymore, but I hear through the grapevine that they are doing well.

Anut Susie is as cool as the other side of the pillow. She's easygoing and compassionate. She doesn't take a crap on us because we have "too many pets" like Mom does. [Mom take lessons on how to chill the fuck out please] I really feel badly for her. She had to watch her husband of 30+ years take his last breath yesterday. What a bunch of crap that is. He was diagnosed with cancer, and only a few short weeks later his body was ravaged. Mom and Susie are very close so I know they are both not taking it well at all. Mom and Susie have had to deal with some shit and that is unfortunate. Two of their brothers have already passed away, Uncle Chippy and Uncle Mark. Mom said last night that Mark's widow lost the house after Mark passed away so that is incredibly sad. There already is concern that Aunt Susie will struggle financially since her husband is now gone. It actually made me think about what would happen to my family if I died. I'm not afraid to check out, we all have to die, but I don't want my family to be in a world of shit when and if I do kick the can too soon so it's time to start making arrangements ASAP.

I don't have a will. I just guessed that my awesome wife would get my crap if I do croak, but what if my assumption is way off? The expression goes something like "assuming makes an ass out of you and me" and I don't want to be maggot-food while the bank takes the house and the rental properties. Thankfully I did already put Kat on the IRA, but there is not that much money in the IRA so it would not go far. I don't have life insurance either. Hell I don't even have health insurance. What a bunch of crap! Shhhh don't tell the IRS that last part, though. I don't want to pay the "no health insurance" penalty on my taxes. F that!

So this month I plan to figure out how to do a will or some other locked-in legal documents that ensure if I die that my family gets the rental properties and this house. I don't want all that stuff to go to the state and/or to the bank. I don't really know where to start, but I'm sure I can figure it out easily enough. I'll just head on over to Google and start doing some reading. Then I can call some local place and pay to have it done up correctly. I'll also properly document it on this bootleg site that no one will ever read after I am long gone:

IF I DIE MY AWESOME WIFE GETS ALL MY STUFF. THE END.

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Sunday, 4-08-18: 600 square feet.
I got my swell on in my bootleg gym a while ago, and I took some measurements while I was over there. The gym area is roughly 600 square feet; I never measured the gym before, and the only reason why I did so today is to plan for one of my upcoming projects. I will be replacing the ceiling and installing recessed lighting hopefully this spring. I actually want to start working on that later this month after tax-season ends, but other more pressing projects might pull me away. Thankfully the gym ceiling is not something I need to do on a tight schedule so I can fit it in anytime.

^From Sep, 2016. The ceiling in that area is still not done. What a bunch of crap! I need Bruce to move some piping so I can get a good-looking ceiling installed throughout. I also have some trim to install in that basement gym-area, and I want everything to be neat and tidy. Maybe I'll find space for a few more shelves,and definitely posters and hooks for the bars. My gym is already pretty great, but I want it to be even better. I am very lucky to have my gym. I just about have it exactly as I want it to be, and even now despite the fact it needs some finish work I feel like I have everything I need to get a good workout.

I think today will be my last easy day off for a while to come. Hopefully Kat and I can have a nice day together with no work on our anniversary come the 19th of this month. Between now and then will be 11 days of WORK. It is pushing the final crunch at the JH tax job so I know I'll be busy for my final 7 or 8 work days there. On top of that I have Bruce lined to to start a major water-heater install in the same building where my gym is located so any days off I do have at JH will be tied up in that project. I got the new water heater for the place, and it looks HUGE. Weighs 300 pounds and is currently sitting in the corner of my gym area just waiting to be hooked up. The new system is far from plug-and-play so I'll actually be amazed if Bruce can do it all in one weekend. Needs gas lines, exhaust-venting, and lots of new piping.

I am eyeing my brand new SNES classic that is sitting here on the bar right next to me. I opened it and marvelled at it this morning. I might hook it up and play a bit before suppertime, but who knows maybe not. I really want to play it, but I'm not going to cancel other things for it. I still have to review this rental application and stew on it a bit. I had four showings at my old apartment yesterday, and I have two completed applications for the place. Thankfully I have a really good tenant there now who keeps the place looking great so that helped. Right now I'm leaning towards approval of some college girls. Overall I have had decent luck renting to the college crowd in the past, and I hope if I do rent to these girls that trend continues. Overall they impressed me with their respectful enthusiasm for the place and for the fact they are vetting places they have been looking at. Nice to see people actually give a shit and want a good place, not just the first place that is open and available.

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Friday, 4-06-18: Good patience.
I have owned my SNES classic for about 8 hours, but I have not even opened it yet. I was afraid that if I started playing it tonight I might not want to stop. However, I have pretty good personal discipline so I could have stopped. I really just didn't want to screw around with hooking it up to the TV. In theory connecting electronics is easy, but in my world it is very difficult. I just don't have an eye for it so I'm sure something would have gone wrong. Hell, the Wii doesn't even have sound because it is not connected properly... or something like that. What a bunch of crap!

Speaking of a bunch of crap, I just had to blow a bunch of snot out of my nose. All week long I have not been 100%, and I didn't even use my bootleg gym until yesterday because my body was fighting off some kind of illness. I was stuffy and a bit run-down, but I would not say I was ever totally sick. Just enough to be annoying. Early week I didn't have the energy for my gym, but the last two days have been better. Unfortunately I still have plenty of mucus in my system so that sucks. A lot.

My badass new SNES Classic is sitting right next to me here on the bar and it is still factory-sealed in the box. I decided to watch some of the Celtics and to play a bit of Super Mario Wii tonight. The SNES Classic games can wait. I died a lot tonight in Mario. A LOT. What a bunch of crap! Some castle in level 7, the first mini-boss, was a beotch. These litte fucker bomber-guys shoot out at you as you are on some moving ramp/pulley, and they explode and cause all kinds of mayhem. I knew I was doing poorly when the green ! appeared like if I needed the guided tour. Epic fail. I did eventually beat the level, but only barely so.

I made it to level 8 via some warp-thing so tonight I beat level 8-1, and that was a miracle because I died a lot before I did it. Level 8-1... F that level! I think all of level 8 is very hard, and soon enough I will find out. In 8-1 there is lava and falling debris, all bad. Plus if you take too long some acid-cloud sneaks up and fucks you in the ass. However, the game is probably rated PG or G so there is really not rape.

^That screenshot could have been my guy about to be getting fucked up the ass by that lava, but nevermind because my guy never made it that far as fireball-Mario. Normally in that level I was a tiny little turd-nugget-Mario on the verge of death for 90% of the time. What a bunch of crap!

I think my hand-eye coordination is severely underdeveloped because a lot of the times when I die in this game I am trying to make the controller do my bidding, but it does not do so. Doesn't help that you have to shake the controller and move it around and whatnot. F that! I am excited to play my new SNES classic becasuse I know all I have to do is push buttons. Unfortunately I will still die a lot because I am a borderline old man now and video games are a young man's sport. (Sorry young person's sport lots of chicks play video games these days.)

I have beaten Super Mario Wii before, but I'm pretty sure I did it with Doug's help not quite a decade ago. We played 2-player, a great feature of the game. I also played it when I lived with Kelly because she had a Wii. Her kids played it with me some, but I also did some solo gaming. I can't remember if I beat it when I was with her, but doubtful because her kids died even more than I did. I don't even want to think about it anymore because it seems like a lifetime ago.

I don't think I can beat Bowser unless Kat learns how to play the game and we team up. I just die too much. Probably I can win it all myself if I am willing to die 10000 times, but by then I will be mentally beaten. Hey, this is a good song that I do not possess. INXS Never tear Us Apart. man the 80s channel rocks gives me access to some good songs that I would not have otherwise known. Even to this day there are still plenty of classic 80s songs that I don't know so well.

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Friday, 4-06-18: OMG GREAT TIMING!
I now own a SNES Classic. Oh Jesus hell ya! A couple hours ago I was about to log off my computer, but at the last minute I decided to Google SNES CLASSIC once again. I have been occasionally checking online for availability, and so far this year everyone has been sold out. What a bunch of crap! There have been some amazon.com sellers, but at inflated prices and with some reviews claiming sellers are sending bootleg versions. All set with that bullshit. I want the real thing gods damn it.

Best Buy came up as one of the first sellers, and I saw the "CLICK TO BUY" icon so of course I was on that like stink on shit. Even better when I was checking out it said there was store availability and I could pick it up in about an hour. OMG AWESOME. I never expected them to actually have one at our local Bangor Best Buy. I thought I would order it and have to wait weeks for it to come in. Shortly after I placed my order I got a text saying it was ready to pick up so I took my lunch break, and I went over to Best Buy and got right in and got right out in no time. It helps that Best Buy is only about 1/2 mile from my JH office. In all the whole thing, including a quick bank deposit of some rents, took about 15 minutes. Oh Jesus hell ya!

^I FINALLY HAVE A SNES CLASSIC THIS IS AWESOME THANK YOU BEST BUY!

I do owe Best Buy congratulations, and I think this is the first time in my life I have complimented them on this bootleg turd-heap. Strangely enough Kat just ordered a brand new computer from them two days ago, she got a good price, and even better it was supposed to ship on the 9th but it came in today for her. BEST BUY IS AWESOME NOW I DON'T THINK THEY SUCK ANYMORE. Kat's computer actually overnight shipped and was in yesterday, but UPS sucks so we didn't get it. Just got the "sorry we missed you" tag on the door with no tracking and no number to call to ask them to hold it. FU UPS!

I used to post things like this about Best Buy:

There was a website actually called bestbuysucks.com or something like that, but I don't think that site exists anymore. I could check to see if it does exist, but I already stopped caring. I don't even care... whether or not I care. Hehehe. I have an old screenshot of that site from many years past, the same place where I got that hilarious little image of a person-ghost-thing pissing on the company logo:

^Wow, looks to be from 2005. I have been doing this bootleg site way too long. What a bunch of crap!

Part of the reason why I used to shit on best Buy is the fact that they put my former employer, Circuit City, right the hell under. I used to enjoy working at CC, and I made great money there, but in the end I am glad I got done and moved on. After CC came FedEx, the apartments, various other jobs like doing taxes and raking for Cliff, and all kinds of awesome and sometimes crazy life adventures that ultimately led me to my wife.

I just looked at my next-week work schedule, and I'm on 1100-1900 M-F. I am off this weekend, but I have to do five showings tomorrow at my old apartment. Next week will be my final full week at JH; the week after is a half-week. I only have 7 work days left after today. Awesome! However, there is a chance I work Sunday the 15th. I don't want to work and the boss is not making me work that day, but they really want me here. I told them I would work if the appointment calendar starts to fill up, but I have lots of other things I could be doing. We'll see.

Next week they actually suggested expanding hours to 1000-2000, but I respectfully objected to that. I will come in for earlier appts as needed, and I will stay late as needed, but if there are no customers I just don't want to be here. As of right now I only need to do 18 more to meet my 301 goal. I think next week I'll get there and then the final 2-3 days will all just be like icing on the cake. I hope!

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Tuesday, 4-03-18: I need to advertise this apartment.
I am on Craigslist, and I am looking at other apartments in the area before I post mine as available. If all goes as planned then I will need new tenants for my old apartment, the one above my bootleg gym, in about one month. The guy who lives there now is still on track for an April 26th closing on a house he is buying, and he said he plans to be all moved out that very same day. I love his optimism, I really do, but in my experience it takes more than a day to move. Best case for him he does his closing first thing in the morning and spends all afternoon moving. He can do it in a day, but he'll need lots of help from others. He is planning to hire a moving company, but the cleaning takes longer than planned for almost everyone and I don't see it happening all in one day.

If the closing does not get delayed (which they often do) then he can start moving right on the 26th, and if he is fast I have no doubt he can be out by the 27th. However, I am planning on him being there right up to the end of the month. The apartment looks great now and hopefully won't need much. Some spackle, a little paint maybe. No way to 100% determine all that until he is all moved out and I can see it without all his furniture in there. Furnishings do tend to hide flaws.

In a perfect scenario I will have the apartment 100% ready by May 1st, but my ad will say "Available early May" just in case. Lowe's called this morning and my new 75-gallon natural gas hot water heater FINALLY came in so oh Jesus hell ya to that. The new water heater weighs close to 300 pounds so wtf, does it come pre-filled with water? That is goddamn heavy. What a bunch of crap! No way I'll be lugging that thing myself. I did spend part of Saturday night cleaning the cellar over there while Kat was at Jester's so I at least have a place to put it. Bruce will hopefully start the install the weekend after next, the 14th-15th. Boss wants me to work on the 15th, but F that the 15th is a Sunday and it won't be that busy.

Speaking of work, I think I only have 10 work days left after today for my season. I "only" need to do 30 more to ge to my goal so I think I am on track for a win. I guess if the 15th does come closer and I need more to reach my goal I would work, but I don't want to work I'd rather be helping Bruce to install my badass and very expensive new water heater. Once that install is done I will be paying for all the hot water in that 4-unit building, but if my math is correct then my rent increases should offset that cost. I hope.

So let's see what the competition is up to. Here is a 2-bedroom listed at 800 square feet for $900 a month. OMG. That is fairly pricey. Kitchen looks nice enough, pretty small, but not as small as this:

^What a bunch of crap! All I wanna know is why? Why does someone think posting that photo is a good idea? A great big person can't even take a power dump without his or her knees hitting the wall. A fatso would have epic fail in there and would not be able to squeeze past the hopper to even make it to the shower. Epic fail, especially at a $900 monthly price point.

Here is a 3BR, comparable to mine in several ways:

Large 3BR - 1BA apartment in Brewer. 5 Minutes from 395 - ...Very large apartment and bedrooms with over 1050sq/ft of total space. New floors, cabinets, countertops, bathroom and paint throughout. Very large backyard with a private porch. Washer/Dryer hook up available in the apartment. Plenty of off street parking available. Landlord pays for heat, water, sewer, snow removal and lawn maintenance. Tenant responsible for electric (hot water tied to electric). Must have first months rent and $1250 security deposit at time of moving in. 1 Year lease preferred. Some animals allowed on a case by case basis. A majority of dogs will not be considered.

*Sorry no Pits, Rotties, Terriers, Shepherd or mixes of these breeds.
*Rent of $1250 is calculated on family of 4 - additional $50/person over 4.

Hmmm... I'm pretty sure my 3BR is around 1000 square feet so mine is a tad smaller, but I will be paying for hot water, I am more liberal with my pet policy, and my price is $1045 so I'm asking $200 per month less. Good god rents in this area are getting expensive. I could go up a lot on some of mine and still keep many of the tenants, but F that I prefer to be lower and have long-term tenants who generally don't cause problems for me.

^The bathroom for that $1250 apartment does not look too big, but in all fairness it looks bigger than the one in my old apartment. Plus it looks nicer. I lose, they win on that photo. Is it worth $200 more per month to have a nicer bathroom and a "large back yard'? Me thinks NOT.