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"I like some vegetables on my sandwich" -Me
"I like bread on my sandwich" -Kat (who had a sandwich I gave to her and had to remove the bread for her gluten-restricted diet.)

Sunday, 3-29-20: Yoga, lift, run.
I watched some news this morning as I usually do, Covid-19 updates, weather, a little politics, and more Covid-19 talk. 95% of the news lately has all been about Coronavirus, aka Covid-19. Over 120,000 people in the USA officially have it, and over 2,000 people have died in the USA. Most of the cases and deaths are in New York, but here in Maine our confirmed cases are rising with each daily update. 211 confirmed as of yesterday PM with one death here in Maine. Unfortunately the testing capacity in our state is pathetic so the real numbers must be way higher.

It has now been 11 days since my awesome wife got a Covid-19 test and still she has no results. What a bunch of crap! She has exhibited most of the coronavirus symptoms so I'd guess chances are better than not she does have it, but there is no way to know at all. Thankfully her fever is not so bad lately, but she still feels like ten pounds of crap stuffed into a five pound bag. That is why there is no God. Here I am writing on this bootleg blog that almost no one will ever read, and I feel great. I did yoga, I lifted weights, and I just jogged 2.33 miles. I did walk a bit during the jog, but I did better than I had done the past couple times. I won't jog again for a couple days because we have wet snow incomg for tonight and all of tomorrow. What a bunch of crap! They say 1-3" so hopefully no plowing needed. Tuesday looks crappy, too.

It is nice going to my gym and looking at my ceiling that I finally finished a few days ago. It is really nice having my own gym, especially now that all the public gyms are closed due to Covid-19. Gold's has been closed for a couple weeks, madated closed by government, so there will be no raccquetball for a while. I don't mind a break from r-ball because it will give my slight tennis elbow a chance to 100% recover (I hope!); what I do mind is the fact that my awesome wife can't get her test results back. Gods damn it!

^Still needs a little paint in the far corner where I boxed in pipes, but overall it looks pretty good. RAMBO posters in that corner like a boss.

My gym is awesome. I even boxed out an area for pullups and chinups so my head doesn't hit the ceiling:

I better never move that rack because boxing in a different area would suck. A lot. I have an badass Goonies flag that I still need to hang, and eventually a couple more mirrors would be great to have. Mirrors make the space seem larger than what it actually is. I'm very lucky to have that gym; it has been a lot of work over the years getting it upgraded to where I want it to be. A few other people use it, tenants who live there and Deno, but overall it is quite private and I intend to keep it that way. No pumpkin-headed dipshit allowed! (Chris Jericho wrestling insult, one the best ever.)

Last week I worked a total of 9.25 hours at Gavin's place. I did great Thursday and put in 6 hours, but Friday I only got 3.25 because I had a tax client and a couple other things to do. Hopefully this coming week I can get all his insulation done for his upstairs area, and I can have it prepped and ready for sheetrock. Next time I update this bootleg piece of shit site I will hopefully post photos of that job.

Alright turds, all two of you, I'm out of here. Time to shower, eat lunch, and hang out with my awesome wife. Half the world is still on lockdown thanks to coronavirus so it would be nice for my next update to have better news. Maybe? Hopefully...

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Wednesday, 3-25-20: Gym ceiling done since Coronavirus put a skid to my tax office schedule.
I finally finished my bootleg gym ceiling today a little after lunch. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I started that friggin' thing almost two years ago. Taking so long to get it all done = what a bunch of crap!

^Such a small portion left to do.

^I had to box in that pipe-area bullshit. I started that yesterday and finished it today, too.

I also did some cleaning in the gym, and I can easily spend a few more hours in that space organizing and cleaning even more. Plus some edges could use 1/4 round trim that I might never get around to doing. It looks okay without the trim. The ceiling is not perfectly level, but it is good enough gods damn it. The recessed lights = awesome I win.

^That area as well as a few other areas not pictured need to be squared away. I'll get to it eventually!

I thought I might finish that gym ceiling earlier in the week, but I had more tax business and tax work than anticipated. Each day Monday, yesterday, and today I have finished one tax return so that is awesome because each finished tax return = precious... precious money that will really be good to have since Covid-19 has half-shut down the entire damn world. My tax business is still "by appointment only" but Monday I had four different tax clients call me over the course of the day for various reasons.

I have no tax appointments for any future day so for the time being my schedule is wide open. I know more tax clients will reach out in the coming weeks, especially a couple who will be wanting their refunds. After I cleaned the gym today I met with Gavin next door at his soon-to-be "penthouse" new upstairs apartment. He wants me to start working for him as soon as it is convenient for me so tomorrow it shall be! I'll start by installing rockwool insulation and prepping for sheetrock install. I could install sheetrock in a few places now, but insulating first makes more sense so Bruce and Ben can get more plumbing and electrical done. I was not planning to start working for G until after tax season, later in April, so it's like a bonus for him that I can start early. It helps me, too. A lot.

My poor wife, what a shit-show she has been stuck dealing with. She got tested for Covid-19 a week ago and there are still no results. A FUCKING WEEK OMG WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! All I wanna know is why? Why does that have to happen? No one who can do anything about it really gives a fuck so her phone calls fall on deaf ears. At this point even if it turns out she does have it she will be recovered. She still feels sick and has a fever, but thankfully she can rest here at home and not have to worry about doing any gigs since her job is canceled until further notice.

I am not even joking about my awesome wife's job. The state Governor Mills ordered all "nonessentail" businesses closed so there are no open bars or other places of leisure to hang out at anymore. The Nothing took them all away like it once took away the beautiful lake from the Rock Biters in the North in The Neverending Story. I wish The Nothing would take Covid-19! Gold's gym has been closed for at least a week as are hair salons and a shitload of other businesses. Want Chinese food from the North Brewer Shopping Plaza? Forget it, closed. Same for City Side restaurant where Kat does her karaoke shows on Friday nights. (Jester's connects to City Side, same owner, same leased space.) Restaurants can be open for takeout only but I guess the two restaurants in that plaza don't think it's worthwhile to be open just for takeout. Can't say I blame them there at all. Only essential businesses can be open, places like grocery stores, doctors, and banks. Want to deposit a check at the bank? You gotta use that tube thing at the drive thru. I friggin' hate the bank drive thru!

Covid-19 is still hitting the world hard, and here in the USA things are getting worse. New York City is really hurting. Nationwide there are over 63,000 confirmed cases and 900-ish deaths. Half of those are in NYC. Doesn't seem like a lot, the flu affects more each year, but projections are bad and a higher percentage of people die from Coronavirus than the flu. I really hope Kat doesn't have this bullshit, but I guess we will never know since the Maine CDC FUCKING SUCKS ASS CHUNKS. I feel great; I am in shit cardio shape (outdoor jog today was not pretty at all) but how can I complain about that at a time like this? There were A LOT of people out and about today walking around when I jogged. Half the town is probably laid off, out of work. Kids are done with school for at least a month more and possibly until the fall. It wasn't a great day, 47 degrees with a chilly east wind, but overall no complaints. We got 7 inches of snow Tuesday night (what a bunch of crap bye bye $145 for plowing) and now it is mostly gone 36 hours later. Bring on spring!

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Sunday, 3-22-20: Random photos that I recently took.
My awesome wife and I are just sitting on the couch here on a slow Sunday afternoon. Poor Kat was tested for COVID-19 almost four days ago, and we still don't know if she has it or not. What a bunch of crap! She is not feeling well, but thankfully she is able to be at home. The last place anyone wants her to be is in a hospital.

It was recommended that Kat stays away from me. Sleep in different beds, if possible use different bathrooms, she wears a mask in the house. However, my counter-recommendation is this; FUCK THAT. I'm not hiding from my wife, and I don't care if she gives me a cold or a virus. I don't want to get sick, no one does, but I'm never going to hide from my wife. Right now I feel great, but I know that can change fast. We don't even know if she has COVID-19 or not because everything is pwned.

I guess tomorrow I will do some work. Maybe this PM I will do a few things here at the house like square this side yard away some:

^What a messy bunch of crap! Once last year I think I might have almost gotten our side yard looking decent. Maybe? It is cold outside today so I might wait on that. Probably not a good day to chop wood today.

We clean the house again and again, but it is neverending with the pets. They track in mud, but then they do cute things like this:

^Tiger Lily and Simba. Simba is 18-ish years old, and sadly she is not all there mentally anymore. She kinda wanders around and is mostly if not totally blind.

Even though Kat is sick she still decided to clean the bedroom like a boss Friday AM. It took her a long time because there was a lot of dust.

I worked on the floors while my awesome wife cleaned in the bedroom. We clean, and the dogs bring it right back in. Spring is always the worst with mud. Today is not bad because everything is frozen out there.

At some point I need to make that light disappear. I hate that gods damned thing. It is too low so even my 5-8" head hits it from time to time. What a bunch of crap! I'd like to do recessed lights not only in that area but also across to the right and into the kitchen.

There should be no excuse for me to not get a lot of things done now that I have about a month's worth of extra time. I hate to say "free time" because it's not really free. It comes at a great cost. The last 3 weeks of tax season are essentially canceled, at least from the perspective of my being in the tax office 1000-1700 M-F. I'll guess the tax business will only take up a few hours of my ample available time at most in any given week from now through the new filing deadline of July 15th. I can keep cleaning around the house, I can tackle some projects like my bootleg gym ceiling, and most likely I can start working for Gavin as early as this week doing some insulating and sheetrock.

Jester's is obviously closed, but we still did some karaoke here at the house Friday night. I actually got pretty drunk, but not to the point of having a hangover yesterday. For the first time in my life I heard Katherine sing, and holy crap she is really good. Both Kat and Katherine are great singers so it's better for me to be a spectator. I did sing "King Lawnchair" Friday night, though. I don't know why since I've never sung that song before, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. The real name of the song is Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode. Great song from around 1989, one of my all-time favorites. We didn't get MTV at the house when we were kids, but one time we stayed with Grammy and Papa and watched the hell out of that music video. In the video a guy dressed up like a king roams around with a lawnchair. You could say he is finding quiet, scenic places and is enjoying the silence.

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Saturday, 3-21-20: No more regular office hours until 2021. Tax deadline officially extended.
Yesterday the federal government officially extended the tax filing deadline to July 15th. For a few days prior there had been some confusion with the filing deadline staying April 15 but the deadline to pay any tax due being July 15th. I am actually okay with the tax deadline; I think it was the right thing to do.

What does this mean for my tax business? I don't know for sure, but I figure I will get a trickle of people here and there from now through the deadline. I am NOT going to have regular hours anymore, F that. I'll do appointments with people, and I did sign up for an online portal so my clients and I can send documents back and forth via the Interweb. I don't know how many people will want to use the portal, but I think it will be worth having for $10 a month. (Half my clients won't know how to use it haha.) Right now I have had a few clinets attach photos and pdf files to email, and I know that is not too secure from hackers. Some of those forms like w2s have SSNs on them, names, addresses, etc so that is risky. I have emailed my own personal documents in the past for various reasons such as bank loans so I am not against doing it. I just want to be the best I can be for my customers and email attachments is not the best at all.

Everything is fucked. Kat is not feeling great and we still don't know if she has COVID-19 or not. We know it is NOT the flu or RSV so we play the waiting game. Officially there are "only" 56 confirmed cases here in Maine, but I think that number is an outdated bunch of crap. Nationwide the number is close to 20k here on Saturday morning. Entire states are on lockdown now including all of New York state and California. International travel is cancelled until further notice, borders closed. What a bunch of crap! Obviously our Mexico vacation planned for early May is not going to happen now.

Yesterday I drafted a letter to tenants. Here it is below. I plan to drop it off to everyone Monday; I'm just waiting for Kat's results to come back so we know whether or not she has COVID-19:

Dear all tenants,

My COVID-19 priority response: EVICTIONS ARE CANCELED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

As of today every bill for your essential services is 100% paid (heat, water, sewer, etc) and the property tax and mortgage payments are current. I have reserves in the bank to cover any emergencies that may arise in the near future such as furnace failure, plumbing leaks, etc. Some or maybe even all of you may be wondering what happens if you cannot pay your April rent due to work layoffs and/or other coronavirus-related problems so I want the above in bold to resonate. If you cannot pay your April rent I will not post an eviction notice, ask you to leave, or turn off any utility. (I legally can’t turn off utils anyway but some shady landlords around town have been known to do really dumb things.)

I am not offering free rent to anyone; any unpaid rent will eventually be due. If not one person pays rent for April I will be seriously crippled from a revenue standpoint, but I will persevere. Any rent I can collect for April will greatly help keep me from going into big debt, but rent is not required. For those of you who can pay April rent in full by April 7th I will be offering a $100 discount on your rent for the month. That means if your rent is normally $1000 you can pay $900 by April 7th and we are square.

If you cannot pay rent for April all I ask if you please call, text, or email me as soon as possible. For those of you who cannot pay I will charge no late fees or interest, and I will offer some other incentive for April that will be more than fair for when you eventually can pay. Right now let’s not even worry about May. My first and foremost concern is keeping the services you need running as usual so you can be as comfortable as possible at home while you weather this virus-storm.

Please know my wife, Kat, is immune-compromised and out of work right now (unpaid) so we have personally taken a financial hit as well. I will not be shaking hands or standing too close until this passes for obvious reasons. I can’t afford to get her sick. Right now I feel well and I hope you do, too.

You will see me puttering some around the properties, cleaning and maybe doing some work. I can put supplies and materials on my Lowe’s or Home Depot cards (if those stores stay open.) I had a good list of work scheduled this year after tax season ended, but now everything is more screwed up than a soup sandwich (I love that expression it makes no sense) so I have to take things day by day. Normally in March and April I am full-time as a tax preparer but all of the sudden I have a lot more free time so if you do need me for anything please reach out anytime.

Most importantly, I hope you and everyone whom you care about are doing well, are healthy, and are not getting too bored. Thank you.

So I plan to not get a lot of April rent in April. What a bunch of crap! For those who are not out of work I do hope to get something so that is why I am offering a discount. Nationwide there are already huge concessions such as suspending student loan payments and interest for 60 days. Bank of America will suspend all mortgage payments for 90 days, interest and penalty-free, to be paid on the back end of the loan in the future. Other banks are doing the same thing, but not all of them just yet.

Essentially if things really get bad I can stop paying the mortgages for a while. I presume the same will be true for heat and electric, but I don't know for sure and I obviously don't want to have to find out.

^THE TURD IS CORONAVIRUS IN THE PUNCH BOWL OF LIFE. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

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Thursday, 3-19-20: A weekday update NOT from my tax office reception area as COVID-19 gets worse.
Since January I've pretty much updated this bootleg site that almost no one ever reads during the week from my tax office reception area. I sit there when I don't have clients and/or things to work on, and I hang out. Surf the web, read a book, do a crossowrd puzzle, tax train, etc. (Friday nights and most of the time on weekends my bootleg updates are from home still.) Unfortunately, today I am updating my useless blog from the house when normally I would be packing a lunch and getting ready to go to the office. It is 0939, and I was at the office maybe 30 minutes ago. I took the dogs to the park for the first time all year, and I stopped into the office after just to check the answering machine. No new messages yet today.

^Where I normally sit when I update this turd-heap, but not today thanks to COVID-19 gods damn it.

Yesterday I made the decision to change my office hours to "By appointment only." until further notice and/or possibly until 2021. As of now the tax filing deadline is still April 15th, but the deadline to pay any taxes owed without interest or penalties is extended until July 15th. There is no sense for me to be over there just hanging out for walk-in regular hours with so much bad shit going on in the world. I do have a 1300 appointment today (unless she no-shows or cancels) and I will have other clients reaching out, but I live so close to the office that I can come and go as I please based on the needs of clients and potential clients. I changed the answering machine message, and I changed the sign on the door. I closed for the day around 1500 yesterday instead of the usual 1700 because I had no more appointments for the day.

It is a good thing I did close early yesterday because my awesome wife is not feeling well. She started taking a turn for the worse a couple days ago, and yesterday her doc advised her to get a COVID-19 test. Unfortunately there was no place for her to go at first so she had to wait. What a bunch of crap! Finally by later in the day they scheduled her for a 1620 test over in Bangor so I drove her over and waited in the car. The test takes 72 hours to come back.

Hopefully Kat does not have COVID-19, but her symptoms do align with what infected people have been experiencing. Fever of 102, feeling weak and sick, some shortness of breath, etc. I don't think she is on the verge of needing hospitalization, but I am concerned and plan to be near her more often than not just in case. After I update this turd I'll go to the store to buy her a couple things and then go for a jog, eat, shower, and go to "work" for a couple hours. Even if that 1300 appointment does cancel or no-show I have other things I can do over at the tax office today. I need to get my secure portal set up 100% so people can safely send me digital versions of tax forms and I can do more tax prep remotely. Less face-to-face contact with clients = win for all.

This Coronavirus, COVID-19, is changing the entire world. Italy is pwned with bodies piling up faster than they can be buried or cremated. That is awful. Europe as a whole is in bad shape, much worse than us here in the USA, and China is not doing so well either. Here in Maine there are "only" 42 cases, but that number is a bunch of crap that is sure to spike up as testing becomes available. There wasn't even anywhere to get tested around here for a long time. What a bunch of crap! Nationwide we are about to surpass 10,000 confirmed cases if we haven't already. So far somethng like 131 deaths, but again that number is going to shyrocket now that we have the capability to test more and more sick people.

I do worry a lot that Kat has COVID-19. It has taken me longer than usual to fall asleep all week, but I don't feel too sleep deprived right now. I think when I have fallen asleep I have slept well enough. The whole quality vs quantity thing? Hell if I know. It is not fair to my awesome wife that we live in the same house and I feel great (physically) while she suffers. I hope she just has a flu or cold, nothing serious, and I do hope that if she does have the virus it does not take a serious toll. Many people have gotten the thing and just been sick without needing to go to a hospital or a morgue...

Stock markets are pwned, things are shut down everywhere, and this is going to be our new normal for quite some time. Here in Maine Governor Janet Mills ordered all bars/restaurants closed, takeout only, no gatherings of 10 or more, and most nonessential businesses are to close. I was not planning to play racquetball for the rest of the month anyway, but even if I did want to play I could not because Gold's Gym and the other gyms are all shut down. Game over man, game over! (RIP Bill Paxton.)

Financially I expect to get pwned hard, but that is a topic for another bootleg update on another day. Thankfully we do have some money in the bank. How many tenants are going to pay rent next month? Kat's DJ income = ZERO. My tax business is still going to make some money, but exactly how much is questionable. If Kat does test positive then I don't think I can do anything or go anywhere that involves human-to-human contact. Maybe? I just don't know and there is no way to know for now.

Thankfully many of my friends can work remotely and from home. Sadly some of my other friends are out of work and wondering how they are going to make ends meet. The federal government is going to do some kind of relief/help package, but no one knows what that will be yet. Every day the news gets more and more bleak. Thankfully we still have plenty of food, water, shelter, and even bonus things like TV and Internet. It could be worse...

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Tuesday, 3-17-20: Okay this is weird and unsettling. Do I stay open regular hours?
Coronavirus, aka COVID-19, is a definite pandemic that is rapidly shutting down the world. Here in the USA there are only 4500 or so confirmed cases, but the projections are not good. The virus is very contageous and fatal for a high percentage of older and immune-compromised folks. Around here things are either shut down or will be soon. Schools are done for a while, and now bars, theaters, casinos, restaurants, and shops are all closed. Kat's doc called yesterday AM and told her to self-quarantine for at least the next couple weeks so she is all done working for the rest of the month.

Poor Kat, she is getting sick today. As of now she does not have a fever so hopefully it is a cold or something little. If she gets COVID-19 she might die. Seriously. Same for my Dad so I texted Mom last night and told her to keep him home and to stop going to work herself. Mom only works 2-3 days a week this time of year, but it is at a toy store so she is not urgently needed to keep the wheels of commerce in motion.

Yesterday late afternoon this was the Fox News business section of their webpage:

^EPIC MARKET FAIL WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

Today is St. Patrick's Day, but that is canceled. No one is going to go out and celebrate. Maybe people will go shopping in the hopes of finding toilet paper hehe. Thankfully we have plenty of shit-paper at home still. All I wanna know is why? Why did the toilet paper get hoarded so much?

I don't know exactly what to do with the tax business. My thoughts last night were to wind it down to "by appointment only" until things start to improve, but I have been fairly busy. Rumors were strong that the April 15th filing deadling was going to be extended possibly as far as into July, but the latest is the filing deadline will not be extended; however, the deadline to pay any tax due is pushed into the summer. Places like the Library AARP and other free tax prep services for the elderly are closed now so yesterday that got me business and today looks to do the same. Old people can't go get their stuff done for free so that sucks for them. I have two older people coming today just before I close who would have used one of the free nonprofits, but who now cannot do so.

Starting yesterday I am taking precautions. No more shaking hands, and I wipe down my desk, pens, and door handles with Clorox Bleach wipes after each client comes in. Thankfully I had a full, brand new container of those wipes in the supply closet here at my office that I bought last year and never used. Score! I bet I can't go buy those in the store right now. Same for soap and hand sanitizers. I also plan to stop playing racquetball for now, and when I use my own bootleg gym I will wipe it down before and after. Not many people use that private gym, but all it takes is one infected tenant to leave some virus there. People can be infected with COVID-19 and show no symptoms for up to 12 days. OMG.

I do worry about my awesome wife. For sure she will not be working, even if she wanted to work. Local government has ordered things shut down other than food takeout. McDs and my bank are drive-thru only. I hate using the bank drive-thru gods damn it. That suction tube thing is not for me. I would not need to go to the bank, but a client paid me with a check this AM so now I do. Maybe I can figure out how to make an ATM deposit. Don't ATMs do that? I usually just walk into the bank when they are open so I don't know. What a bunch of crap!

So the tax office has been doing steady business. Not crazy busy, but enough to justify my being here from 1000-1700 so far. If it dies down later in the week or if things get worse around town then I will make adjustments. Gotta take it day by day, and even hour by hour. If I do reduce hours I can spend time working on the house and taking care of other projects like finishing my frigging gym ceiling that I started nearly two years ago. Either way I won't be bored. I just want to do what's best for my awesome wife. I have one appointment tomorrow, one Thursday, and none Friday. However, for yesterday and today I have had a few calls and people stopping in. I also have drop-off stuff to plug away at as people get back to me with more info.

Hopefully people stop freaking out about this pandemic soon and we can very slowly push towards some kind of normalcy that does not involve toilet paper hoarding and mass panic. One of my tenants just sent me a text message that she is done with work with no pay for the rest of this month so bye bye April rent from her. What a bunch of crap! I won't give anyone free rent because of COVID-19, but I will of course allow late rent.

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Sunday, 3-15-20: Our new theme song plays (lol jk)
I have it on channel 1928, and I drank some coffee brandy and milk tonight. Not a whole lot, just enough to get myself feeling pretty good and ready to write on this bootleg site that no one will ever read. Tom Petty is on now, Don't Come Around Here No More. FUCKING AWESOME SONG AND IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME THEN I HATE YOU. (I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.) Tom Petty is great, may he rest in peace. This is one of his best songs; Running Down a Dream and I Won't Back Down are also on my favorites list from Mr. Petty.

I think this song could be our 2020 national theme song, at least based on how Coronavirus (Covid-19) is treating the world. We are shutting shit down left and right so don't come around no more. No more public schools, no more colleges, nighttime curfew in Hoboken, NJ, bars and resraurants ordered closed except for takeout and drive-thru orders in a few states. Here in Maine we are up to 7 confirmed COVID-19 cases and there is still no toilet paper in the stores. What a bunch of crap! No chicken or bread, but lots of canned foods. Fuck society it can't even get this right.

Tonight is my awesome wife's last night of work for a while. I'd guess at least two weeks (two weeeeeeeeekkkkkkkksssssssssss!) but that is purely speculative. With local schools closing and with other states closing bars and shit the writing is on the proverbial wall here. Plus she is immune-compromised so what's the sense in having her work when some karaoke-singing simp could be a carrier and not even know it. So far in Maine all the known cases of COVID-19 are well south of here, but we know that will change. As of now my tax office is going to be open, but who knows I have to take it day by day and maybe at this time tomorrow I will feel differently about it.

I watched some of the presidential debate tonight, Sanders vs. Biden, but then I gave up because both of those old fuckers are busted and are in no way qualified to serve as our next president. They want free healthcare for all, so do I, but who the fuck pays for it? Their plan is a bunch of crap. Trump is a busted president as well, but he has done a lot of good things and he doesn't want to piss away America's precious... precious money so I give him credit and most likely my vote in November because of that. Trump has done a piss-poor job with this COVID-19 bullshit, but no leader would have handled it well because it is 10 pounds of shit stuffed into a 5 pound bag. What a bunch of crap!

So I turned off the debate and played SNES Mario. I got to this level and knew there was special access to some magical back door to Bowser, but I could not find it by myself so I went to YouTube and just watched the solution:

THANKS INTERWEB! Now I know what to do the next time I play. Unfortunately I might not actually be able to do it because I am an uncoordinated hack.

I seriously do think this is my awesome wife's last karaoke show for the month. She did work Friday at Jester's, and that was fun. We only had about half the crowd as usual (and that's with other karaoke locally being canceled) but we made the most of it. I got wrecked, and Gavin actually hung out with us for most of the night. I introduced him to a girl whom I have known for a long time and they seemed to hit it off, but we'll see if that was the booze or if there is a real connection. Poor G got screwed over by his last chick so I think he'll be cautious with her. She did say she liked him so we'll see...

I put it on Fox News, and the pundits are talking about the debate. I think Fox wants Trump to win so they probably took a crap on both of them. The Fed dropped the funds rate to 0-0.25% so there is not much more the government can do to boost our economy. We're actually doing great as a nation as compared to places like Italy and Spain where things are shut down hard. COVID-19 = world pwned let's hope Aliens don't show up to take over now or we'll be ripe for the pickin'. Or it will be like War of the World and we will get them sick so they all die hehe.

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Friday, 3-13-20: A sober Friday afternoon bootleg site update (that almost no one will ever read.)
Rain is falling, it just started to get heavy, so my sandwich-board sign is not going to be out at all today. I don't really mind a wet sign since it's designed to sit outdoors, but winds over 30MPH are coming soon so the thing would just tip over. Instead I hung up my large OPEN sign-flag in the window and I moved my little lighted OPEN sign to the other window. Jason suggested better signage when he was here 1.5 weeks ago so I took his advice and ordered this large flag that arrived yesterday:

^From amazon.com, $7.99 plus tax. Free shipping because I ordered a couple filters along with it to get a total order price over $35. Or something like that. I can't remember, but there is a minimum purchase sum when shipping becomes free. I don't have Amazon Prime because F it. Prime is an annual fee but comes with TV shows and free 2-day shipping, give or take.

I probably should order another big OPEN sign, maybe two, because I can find a place to hang them outside as well. I do think getting more signs up will help with walk-in business; right now I have plenty of capacity for more business. I've done 52 paid tax returns and have 7 more in the queue. There is a month left of the season (for now let's hope there are no coronavirus delays) so I think I can do another 20-30. Assuming I finish most of the ones in the queue then that's conservatively 78. At that pace I've at least broken even for the season as far as meeting costs and overhead. Maybe? Hopefully! I think a profit is a long-shot for this time around. Next year I will promote more and try to actually make a profit above and beyond operation costs.

I really like this huge OPEN sign, and it fits well into the window. Kat stopped by not long ago and said she liked it, too. She actually suggested another OPEN sign and an American flag so her idea wins by far. A U.S. flag hanging outside will help drive business, and anyone who does not appreciate our flag can geeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttttttttt oooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttt!

Normally I update this piece of crap site on a Friday night and not from the office on a Friday afternoon, but I think I'll stay down at Jester's tonight. My Friday night routine often consists of helping my awesome wife set up for her karaoke show around 1945-2030. Then I go home for a couple hours to booze and watch TV/play Nintendo. Sometimes I talk to Mom on the phone on Friday evening, too. Usually I get liquored up, update this turd, then go get even more drunk at the bar. Saturday is the "recovery" day even though I haven't been too hungover on any day so far this year.

The nationwide panic over COVID-19 is still growing with each passing day. Yeterday the stock markets got decimated, down 9.5-10%. What a bunch of crap! They said it was the worst one-day fall for the DOW since 1987. Now all pro sports are shut down, Disneyland is closed, and some movies aren't coming out anymore. For some reason that is hard to explain at all toilet paper is scarce yet food is still available en-mass. All I wanna know is why? Why are people doomsday prepping by purchasing up mass quantities of shit paper instead of mass quantities of canned foods? Fucking idiots in this world. Reason #597,211 why a giant asteroid really should just come reboot this shit-show society of ours.

^To everyone buying toilet fucking paper instead of food. And not just buying a few rolls, cleaning the gods damned stores out. Fuck that you can wipe your ass with pine needles and at least after you do that your ass smells good! I have done that it is not fun or particularly sanitary, but when you are in the woods deer hunting and feel a power-dump coming on you gotta make it work. Plus the pine does smell good after! (Where is my psychologist?)

My awesome wife is allergis to pine so for her that might suck. When we get down to our last roll she can have the shit paper and I'll go harvest pine. Then if we do run out of paper she can use maple leaves!

I already got my exercise for the week, second consecutive week of success in my bootleg gym and with cardio and yoga. Tonight after work we'll play racquetball so that's just a bonus. I feel great lately, and that is weird since COVID-19 is looming. Is that some kind of perverse foreshadowing that things are going to get rough? Even more bizarre, I started reading a book called Mount Dragon about a secret research facility working on the X-Flu. The microbiologists are working on a deadly pathogen, trying to mutate it and splice it to make humans flu-immune. Unfortunately things go wrong and there are a lot of deaths. Or something like that. I dunno I am not quite halfway through it, but I did read it many years ago so I vaguely recall how parts of it go.

I'm old enough now I can reread books, rewatch movies, and replay old video games and it is in a way like I'm doing it for the first time. Some of these books, movies, and games I have not explored in a decade, two decades, or sometimes over three decades so that is one bonus of getting older. You forget a lot of stuff so you can do it all over again and enjoy it! Some things I think will be good turn out to suck, though. For example: The Last Unicorn movie. What a bunch of crap that piece of shit was! Remembering something fondly from youth then having it shit all over you as an adult = epic failer.

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Thursday, 3-12-20: Okay this is getting really serious now. Hey, memes!
This Coronavirus is turning into a real scare all over the place. Italy is on lockdown, and last night a grave-looking president Trump addressed the nation to talk about it. 30-day travel ban from Europe, done. Emergency financial aid, check. Blame foreign countries for how bad things are getting, yup. So far there are no reported Coronavirus (COVID-19) cases here in Maine, but it is only a matter of time. Seems incredibly likely that, even though only 1200 people nationwide have the thing, the number of infected is going to skyrocket soon. What a bunch of crap!

The CDC says don't touch your face and use social distancing to help prevent the spread of the mostly non-lethal virus. Time for a meme:

^HAHAHA. I do touh my face a lot so I guess I am pwned! All joking aside, the mortality rate is still unknown but is more likely to be somewhere between 1-3% of those infected. A nursning home in Washington state had an outbreak a week or two ago, and the end result of that was many deaths. Old people who get it are very likely to die, and sadly my awesome wife falls into the "immune system compromised" category so we need to be extra cautious that she doesn't get this bullshit.

I just saw Kat, she stopped into the office to say hello and to chat for a bit. She is supposed to host karaoke tonight at the Eagles, and we are considering shutting that shit down. Not only does she not feel so great (not sick just sore muscles) but also what if someone there has this COVID-19 virus? Here in our own state UMaine is closing campuses down after spring break so obviously it is coming to our state if it is not already here. She just headed on down to the grocery store to buy some supplies. I gave her some cash and suggesting grabbing a few extra canned goods, just in case. There are parts of the country where store shelves are nearly bare and that might happen here very soon. Need to buy toilet paper? Forget it most of our big stores in this area are already sold out. Hand sanitizer? Forget it. What a bunch of crap!

So yesterday the NBA canceled its games for the time being, Tom Hanks and his wife announced they have COVID-19, and many other gatherings and events are no longer happening. Today Wall Street is getting obliterated again with the DOW down something like 8.5%. Now is a great time to be a stock buyer, but I don't think I want to spend our precious... precious money on stocks when we might have more pressing issues. Kat might not be making much if any money from her DJ business soon because no one is going to sing karaoke during a pandemic. I might have issues with the tax business if people around here do get sick. Can I count on the tenants to pay their rents on time if they can't work? We're not at that point yet around here, but these are things we need to plan for in case they do come to fruition.

Also announced on the news yesterday is the possibility of the tax filing due date getting extended beyond the April 15th deadline. What a bunch of crap! I still have some clients on the schedule, but that might change in a hurry. Yesterday Mom and Dad came up so we had a nice visit and I got their taxes done. Today I have Bruce coming, tomorrow some nice long-term clients, and then beyond that we'll see what this pandemic does to our neck of the woods. Maybe by later this month I won't even have my tax office open if people here are sick and infected...

I do worry about my wife getting COVID-19. I've been thinking about it often over the past couple days. I don't want to get it myself, but odds are I would live if I do get the thing. (And if I die oh well it's been a great life.) However, if I do catch it then it's a gurantee I'd spread it to my awesome wife. Her odds are not good so I really want to just lock her up for a month in isolation as a preventative measure. However, that sounds like something a serial killer would do so nevermind! Plus she would get bored and start to go crazy because that's what I would do. I don't want her to get sick anymore, ever again, but sadly she is often sick and that is not fair. Keeping her as far away from this Coronavirus is priority 1 no matter what we lose in household income.

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Sunday, 3-08-20: First outdoor jog of 2020.
I got great exercise today. First was DDP Yoga, second was some weightlifting over in my bootleg gym, and finally this midafternoon was a jog that I only finished 20 minutes ago. I went 2.25 miles, 19:12, pace of 8:31. Not fast at all, but better than a lot of people could do at my age. I went at a decent, sorta-slow pace and didn't have to walk even once. Definitely having the treadmill this winter helped keep me in okay cardio shape.

^Not quite tee-shirt weather yet, but not too far from it.

I am supposed to be doing this floor today:

It's only been on the list for a year or so. What a bunch of crap! Sadly it will probably only take me 2-3 hours to do, but I did want to wait until things warmed up some. That floor does get pretty cold in mid-winter and I don't think putting a vinyl floor that adheres with glue down on that is wise.

The dogs were behind me being all curious and excited:

^A little out of focus thanks to Copper in the foreground moving some. Groot is back by the bar, and Tiger Lily was visible in the frame until the last minute when Groot moved and blocked my view of her. I'll definitely have to keep the dogs out of that little area when I do start that floor or it will be all bad. When I get down on the floor they think it's time to play.

I could have had that floor done already, but we decided to start Westworld Season 1 yesterday and finish it today. I bought my awesome wife both seasons as a Christmas gift yet I get to enjoy it as well. Selfish gift? Well she did ask Santa for it after all...

Season 3 comes out in about a week, and we have already seen both seasons 1 and 2 on HBO. However, it is a show that can get very confusing with time jumps and interwoven storylines. Plus I am a borderline simp so for about half, maybe up to 3/4 of the first two seasons of Westworld I was confused and enthralled at the same time. Now that we rewatched season 1 it makes so much more sense and it is totally fantastic. Great show and if you disagree with me then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.

Westworld is a show set in the future where technology has advanced to the point that robots can be made to look and act the same as humans. The robots are in a theme park (Westworld) and humans can go to the park to act out various fantasies including deplorable behavior such as murder and infidelity. Yeah, you can pokerize the robots and the robot chicks are all hot chicks whom, I can only assume as inferred by the show, can totally convince you they are not robots because they are so realistic.

As you can imagine things start to unravel at the park when the robot-people get more and more aware and decide to rebel. Season one ends beautifully and ties everything together in an incredibly satisfying arc. I remember season 2 being even more confusing than season 1 was so hopefully rewatching that will prime us up nicely for season 3. Season 2 came out 1.5 or 2 years ago so it has been quite a while since we watched the show.

^Christmas gift that I can also enjoy = win!

I don't have a lot on the schedule this week. The weather looks good with no snow expected and the next two days up into the 50s. We did daylight savings shit last night so it is really only 1511 in my mind and not 1611 like the clock says. I'm totally okay with the time change because now it won't get dark until close to 1900. Broad daylight when I get off work = GIMME MOAR OF THAT. Mom and Dad are coming up Wednesday to visit and to have me do their taxes, but other than that I have no firm appointments on the books. I'm sure people will call and stop by, though. In only 5.5 weeks my regular-hours of tax season are over!

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Friday, 3-06-20: Cinamon Teddy Grahams and an asshole enemy boss.
It is 2227, and I am going to the bar very soon. First I gotta eat a little snack including some cinamon Teddy Grahams. Unfortunately I can't even spell cinnamon right because I suck. What a bunch of crap! I would not know how to do it right, but the box is right here next to me so I see that I fucked up.

Teddy Grahams are awesome and if you disagree with me then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I will hate you a little more. Once when I was in the Navy back in the mid-90s I bought probably a dozen boxes of Teddy Grahams from the ship's store and I stashed them all over the place. Behind my rack, in the fan room, etc. I probably spent $40 on those things, but maybe I spent more or maybe I spent less. I just totally made up that number based on no evidence, no receipt, and only a foggy memory of what my douchebag self was like 25 frigging years ago.

^The big four in the Teddy Graham world are Honey, Chocolate, Cinnamon, and Chocolatey-Chip. I whore myself around as far as which one is the best, but in general the Honey ones get my vote and end up in my cupboard more often than not. Plus when my awesome wife and I first hung out I had honey Teddy Grahams so of course those ones are the best!

I played more SNES Mario tonight, but I could not beat this mother fucker:

^A couple times I got to the point where the whore beotch threw me a mushroom, but after I got that thing it turned all bad in a hurry. I got pwned fast. What a bunch of crap!

So I did what average citizen would do. I quit and went to other levels! There were star levels that warp to various places, but I did not have the talent to warp to anywhere cool. Most of the places where I warped to sucked. A lot. I think I need an easier game gods damn it.

I'm gonna head on down to the bar in a few minutes. I drank some here at the house as usual, and it was awesome. I don't have much work to do this weekend, but tomorrow I will take a load of trash to the dump. I haven't had a tax client wanting a Saturday appointment with me in a month or so. Oh Jesus hell ya! I might also stop by Gavin's place this weekend and see how his framing work is coming along. He has Bruce coming Sunday to rough in some more of his new apartment that is not done yet. I think I'll be sheetrocking there in 6 weeks, but nothing is for sure just yet.

I think I'll shut this shit down and get out of here. It's booze o'clock! Just kidding it was booze o'clock around 2030, just over two hours ago. Hopefully I don't waste too much precious... precious money at the bar, but if I do then oh well you only live once so might as well have fun spending it before you die. One day we might be paying $9000 a month to live in some old folks home that will then become a petri dish for Coronavirus. F that I'd rather just die!

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Thursday, 3-05-20: Another down stock market day.
The stock markets have been on a roller coaster ride lately, ever since people started getting worried about this Corona virus. Virus named after a beer = less people now buying that beer. I bet the people who work at the Corona beer company are not impressed.

^Markets doing pretty damn good until the end of last month. Things tanked out pretty hard but then rebounded some. Today it is all-bad again with a DOW drop of close to 900 points on this early afternoon. People are too worried about this frigging virus. What a bunch of crap! So far it has a low mortality rate, but fear is driving the markets and I'm sure there are a lot of people around who think it is somehow Trump's fault. "Dow dropping economy falling let's vote for a new president this fall!" I personally don't blame Trump for this shit-show, but I do credit him for the good economy prior to this bootleg China-made (allegedly) virus.

At this point I give our trip to Mexico a 50% chance of not happening. If we can't go on vacation because of a global pandemic then my worthless site theme applies, 100%: WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

^Corona virus is the turd in the metaphorical punch bowl of life. Bernie Sanders is also a turd in another punch bowl. Fuck that guy! All I wanna know is why? Why are the leading candidates for president so far Trump, Biden, and Sanders? Fuck all three of them, but especially fuck you Sanders. That guy calls himself a "Democratic Socialist" whose proposed budget would bankrupt the entire nation. SOCIALISM IS TERRIBLE YOU SENILE OLD MAN.

The race for the Democratic nomination is now unofficially down to two candidates, Biden and Sanders. All the others washed out like a turd washes down a toilet bowl. (Or hangs out in a punch bowl!) Too bad because I actually liked a couple of them at least a little. Buttigeig and Klobuchar didn't seem terrible. They would have been wasteful with our collective precious... precious money, but they would have done some good along the way. Maybe? We'll never know this time around because they are fin.

I should start making plans for after tax season since that date is less than six weeks away. Gavin has recently joked that on April 17th I am starting his sheetrock work so that seems to be my most likely first project. I also have work to do at the rental properties, especially at my Chamberlain duplex. I also want a roughly 24x24 slab here at the tax office building so I can build a new, smaller garage. When the slab is done I also want earth work here, grass seeding, landscaping, etc. I dunno if I will hire that all out or do it myself; my price quote will help me decide on that one.

Yesterday was a very slow day at the tax office and today is the same. I did have a 1000 client for a half-hour for a consult regarding quarterly taxes. Not all of my meetings are to actually file taxes, but most of them are. I don't charge for a consult, only to file taxes, but if someone wanted to spend half a day with me going over things and not actually doing taxes then I would likely present some kind of a bill. That has not happened yet, though.

I have two appointments tomorrow and Mom and Pop will probably come next week. I also have a few of my regular clients in the queue for later this month. Some of my other regulars always wait until April, too. The weather has been warming up lately so I am starting to get a little itch to go work outside. Just a slight tug at this point, but as each week passes by I will have more and more of an urge to be outside and not here in my tax office. Par for the course as they say since I get the same feeling every year. This year is different, though. This year I have my huge front window that I sit by so I can see people out walking and getting ice cream at Jimmy's. When I was at JH my bootleg little WalMart office didn't even have windows so I didn't see the outside world at all when I was at work.

Jimmy's has been busy at times during this kinda-nice weather. Hopefully people over there getting their late-winter ice cream and takeout food see my sign and come in between now and April 15th! I still think I'm on pace to do about 75 paid tax returns. Maybe? I'm at 42 now with another 7 on hold waiting for people to come pay and finish. I'm ahead of last year by a good sum so that is the most important stat of all.

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Tuesday, 3-03-20: Awesome low gas bills.
The gas and water/sewer bills came in for the rental properties, and the gas bills all total up to $410 under budget. Oh Jesus hell ya! I always budget on the high side with the gas and water bills because it is good to plan for the worse, etc. Plus it helps my psyche to come in under budget because then I can fool myself into thinking I have a modicum of talent with my business income and expenses. Yeah, I fool myself sometimes. COming in a few hundred dollars less than this time last year is awesome! Unfortunately the water bills came in about as expected, no savings there, but hey I'll take staying at budget instead of going over.

This winter has been so easy, relatively speaking. Bangor area had its 12th-warmest Dec-Feb on record, and Portland was 4th all-time. Most of the USA was above average, and the cost of natural gas and other fuels has been pretty low. Gas is only around $2.30 a gallon right now so who can complain about that? The price of gas might drop more, who knows. Oil was down to $45-ish a barrel last Friday until it bounced back some this week. Cheap gas, cheap heat = making up for the revenue I am not collecting from the tax business.

The tax business does make some money; yesterday I had Jason here for a few hours. His taxes took all kinds of time since he has business and personal taxes to prepare. This was the first tax year where I did my brother's taxes; his other tax guy can't do S-corps and has other personal obligations. It was nice that Jason drove the 1.5 hours one-way to see me in my newer office. Not only did I finish his taxes but we also got to visit. He would love to hire me to work for him, but I have too much going on up here. He was singing the blues about how hard it has been for him to find good help and I can relate to that. He had a guy show up on a bicycle to an interview last week, and his job entails driving around in work vans to various job sites. HAHAHA. When you bike to a job interview that requires at least some driving in work vehicles you are epic fail and what a bunch of crap all rolled up into one.

Today I had a nice older lady walk in so I have one tax return done as of early PM. I got another drop-off to work on, too. Just over 6 weeks now until the filing deadline. It is 52 degrees outside, give or take, so after I write this bootleg update that almost no one will ever read I should install this drop-box on the outside of the building somewhere:

^5-star rating! It's not the FOrt Knox of drop-boxes, but I don't think it will get used a lot and it will be placed in view of the security cameras.

I don't have a good drop-box and if I want to be a real tax business I need to have one. I should also have a fax machine set up, but I am too dumb to figure that part of it out. I guess these days faxing is nearly obsolete anyway. I did have an older client who wanted to fax something to me yesterday, but he is okay with just bringing it in later. Well, I hope he is okay with it because that is the only option! Most clients just email me pdf files and stuff.

Today is the nicest weather day so far of 2020, and it is kind-of a bummer that I am at work. I'd love to close up and go for my first outdoor jog of the year, but by 1700 when I close I won't want to jog. Plus it will be getting darker and colder outside. More importantly by then I'll want to just eat supper and hang out with my awesome wife. We have The Walking Dead on the DVR from Sunday so maybe we can watch that. That show has been around for 10 seasons, and its best seasons are long gone. I don't really care about the show that much anymore, but it is something to pass the time. The zombie genre is getting played out these days...

So after tax season ends I have a couple free weeks before our scheduled trip to Mexico. During those couple weeks I'll most likely start doing some sheetrock work for Gavin, and who knows our May 2-8 trip to Mexico might not even happen if this Corona virus keeps spreading. 6 dead Americans stateside in Washington state already. What a bunch of crap! In some areas people are already stocking up on water and other supplies so yesterday we ordered a months' worth of dog food. I have a freezer full of venison for us and we have a swamp out back for water. Drinking gross swamp water = what a bunch of crap! Thankfully we have a good supply of firewood so we can just boil it before we drink it. Maybe? Let's hope we never have to find out.