9-04 10-04 11-04 12-04 1-05 2-05 3-05 4-05 5-05 6-05 7-05 8-05 9-05 10-05 11-05 12-05 1-06 2-06 3-06
4-06 5-06 6-06 7-06 8-06 9-06 10-06 11-06 12-06 1-07 2/07 3-07 4-07 5-07 6-07 7-07 8-07 9-07 10-07 11-07 12-07 1-08 2-08 3-08 4-08 5-08 6-08 7-08 8-08 9-08 10-08 11-08 12-08 1-09 2-09 3-09 4-09 5-09 6-09 7-09 8-09 9-09 10-09 11-09 12-09 1-10 2-10
3-10 4-10 5-10 6-10 7-10 8-10 9-10 10-10 11-10 12-10 1-11 2-11 3-11 4-11 5-11 6-11 7-11 8-11 9-11 10-11 11-11 12-11 1-12 2-12 3-12 4-12 5-12 6-12 7-12 8-12 9-12 10-12 11-12 12-12 1-13 2-13 3-13 4-13 5-13 6-13 7-13 8-13 9-13 10-13 11-13 12-13 1-14 2-14 3-14 4-14 5-14 6-14 7-14 8-14 9-14 10-14 11-14 12-14 1-15 2-15 3-15 4-15 5-15 6-15 7-15 8-15 9-15 10-15 11-15 12-15 1-16 2-16 3-16 4-16 5-16 6-16 7-16 8-16 9-16 10-16 11-16 12-16 1-17 2-17 3-17 4-17 5-17 6-17 7-17 8-17 9-17 10-17 11-17 12-17 1-18 2-18 3-18 4-18 5-18 6-18 7-18 8-18 9-18 10-18 11-18 12-18 1-19
2-19 3-19

"Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery." -Cavin Coolidge


Sunday, 4-28-19: I FUCKIN SUCK!
I worked for free today gods damn it. Actually scratch that I lost money, and it was not even close. I worked a long day, too. Dakota and I crushed it down at Phil and Danielle’s house installing shingles all day. Dakota is doing great down there. At the end of today we had this much done:

It was cold for most of the day with a stiff breeze, clouds, and temps in the 40s. Early in the afternoon I considered quitting a bit early, but then the sun came out and it was fairly nice out in their back yard so we stayed on. In hindsight I should have left early because us quitting when we did set of a chain of events that led to epic fail and what a bunch of crap all rolled up into one.

When we work down in the Waterville area we listed to 102.9, a local station. It plays today’s music as well as a lot of great older 80s songs, and the two of you who actually read this pathetic excuse of a site know how much I love my 80s tunes. On the drive home the radio station was playing some softer music, and I decided I wanted rock and roll so I put it on my personal favorite station of all-time, 100.3WKIT. Not long after I changed the channel a newer song called Dance Macabre by Ghost came on. I love that song! So I was rocking out and not 100% noticing the vehicles pulled off to the side of the highway.

From a distance it looked like two vans off on the shoulder, and I was in the right lane with cruise control set at an easy 72MPH (Speed limit 70 no big deal, right?) I didn’t pay it that much mind, but in hindsight that was unwise because when we got really close I realized the SUV in the rear was actually an unmarked state trooper with small blue lights flashing in the rear window. The trooper was on the passenger side and walking across to his driver-side door when I drove right on by, and as soon as he looked at me I knew it was game over. Sure enough he jumped into his SUV with blue lights flashing and pulled my loser ass over in no time. He was not happy with me because I didn’t move over into the left lane or even slow down, and that is the state law to move over when there is a trooper pulled off onto the shoulder. My bad there, bigtime. My dumb ass got a $326 ticket. OMG WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! Phil pays well, but not that damn well so it totally sucks to be me.

^Fuck off Dance Macabre now I hate you, song*

I feel like I partly deserve that ticket, like 30%, but wtf that SUV did NOT have clearly visible flashing lights that you could see from a distance. I wish the proceeds from that fine would go to families of fallen police and rescue personnel, but alas it will get wasted on $10 rolls of toilet paper or some shit. I know I got hammered down upon because of the horrible accident from a few weeks back that cost a trooper his life. Poor guy was helping some lady when a truck lost its wheels and one of the wheels hit and killed the trooper. I swear to the gods who do not exist that I am not making that up. A fuckin’ tire fell off a truck and killed a cop on the highway. The guy had what looks like a perfect family, too. My $326 should go to his widow gods damn it
Oh well on the plus side of things I got a criminal check on Dakota, and he passed just fine. The officer checked Dakota’s ID also, and if Dakota had and arrest warrants I would have found out pretty damn fast. Good to know that my stepdaughter’s boyfriend is not a wanted killer or something like that.

I need to bivouac. I am fuckin’ exhausted, and now I am fuckin’ broke. Just kidding about that last part that ticket doesn’t get paid today. I dunno how long I have to pay it, but hopefully a long time. I am actually at North Main draining out the cellar because it was full of water again after tons of rain Friday and Sat. Gods damn it! I have been draining this cellar for 50 minutes now and it is still a lake. I don’t think I can finish it tonight because I am tired. I am going to take a nap and get up around 1230 so I can go help my awesome wife (who is also working for free now thanks to my ticket) break down her karaoke gear. Then it’s time for episode 3 of GOT late-night!

I am tired and cranky. This sucks. A lot. I need to be doing less work and I need to be getting more sleep.


*Just kidding it is still a great song that sounds like something The Scorpions would have produced in the late 80s or early 90s.


Saturday, 4-27-19: Past bedtime?
My sleep schedule is pwned, and I won't get a full night's sleep until hopefully Monday night. What a bunch of crap! Kat is working 4 consecutive nights so that means game over as far as normal bedtimes go. I think her days of working a few nights in a row need to end ASAP because it sucks. A lot. At first it is fun, but then it gets to be too much. I have my other work to do so staying up late to help her is okay on a limited basis, but when it becomes my third job then F that. Last night I didn't bivouac until 0245. I don't really even want to be awake right now at this late 2300 hour, but there is not much of a choice because if I did go to sleep now then I'd have to get back up shortly. Ah well at least I did take a nap earlier.

The shit-cherry on top of the FU schedule is all the work that needs to be done down at Phil's. Revielle for my ass tomorrow morning is 0700 so we can hit the road and get a full day in down there. That is if it ever stops fucking raining. I didn't have to go work at Phil's tomorrow, but it is the right thing to do because I can't go Mon-Wed this week. On Monday I have things to do up here, and Tues-Wed I am going turkey hunting down at the ol' homestead. I should be looking forward to turkey hunting more than I am right now. I have too much fucking work to do, and it is starting to piss me off. I can't wait until this summer when I can actually haul on a property and reign it in a bit. Hopefully I can convince my wife to quit her Sunday night gig, too. Live to work, not work to live. Right now we are not on the correct end of that expression. What a bunch of crap!

I should not complain too much because having too much work is probably better than having not enough work. We don't have to worry about going broke anytime soon, and the extra money we are both making by working extra is a blessing of sorts. Especially since I am trying to establish my own tax business and fully be self-employed pretty much year-round. I do think both Kat and I need to cut back later this year, though. I used to have a good handle on my work-life balance, but lately I have fucked it away. What a bunch of crap!

One way I might be able to cut back on my responsibilities is by hauling on the one property that I manage. I don't even remember when I started managing that place. 2012? I should look it up, but F it I guess I don't even care... whether or not I care. It has been several years, and it might come to an end sooner rather than later. The owner is a fucking douchebag, but he said he does have ADD or some shit so maybe that explains some of his bad behavior. However, a disability is really no excuse for acting like a fuckin' DINK so nevermind on that last part.

Every year for the past 3 or 4 years we go back and forth on emails about my social security number For some reason the owner thinks he needs my SSN in order to claim the income that he receives from that property on his taxes. He has owned it since roughly forever, but he lives in Rhode Island so he and I have never actually met. Every year I send him his income and expenses, and every year he thinks he needs a 1099 and my SSN. I don't trust that guy with my SSN when he uses TurboTax to file his taxes! Finally things got heated at the tax deadline a couple weeks ago when he sent me this email that made me want to quit on the spot:


YOU ARE PREVENTING ME FROM ee Filing both my FEDERAL and STATE completed tax returns via TT today when due 4-15-19 !!


REFER TO YOUR below email dated 4-8-19; to wit, you claim to be a TAX preparer and can EE File etc etc.

Yet you never sent me any 1099-MISC for any year. Fine with me BUT not the IRS or State. NOW IN TIME, I am pissed that YOU are blocking me from EE Filing both my completed Fed and State tax returns by refusing to give me your Fed Tax ID OR even your SS number !!!

I will be charging you any late charges and fines because now I have to print out my returns and take the time to get them mailed off via the US Mail !. The Post Offices are already closed for the day, since it is after 5pm !! Hence I will be late filing !!!

I demand you immediately, by return email, get me one or both of the REQUIRED numbers per the two attachments which show how you are blocking my ee Filing.

Your cooperation is fully demanded and expected; or show cause.


So I wrote this back to the asshole who think his shit don't stink:

It's like if I tried to build my own car and then got pissed when I got on the road and the wheels fell off. You're trying to do more complicated tax stuff all on your own when you probably should be taking it to a professional preparer. You don't need my SSN to file your taxes. We go through this every year. I don't give you a 1099-MISC. All you need to enter is the total income received. I am fine with getting done managing your property, and I can recommend a property management company who can take care of you for probably the same price if not even less.


Fuck him. I make a couple grand a year, give or take, from managing that property. It is a good amount of money, but fuck it I can make up that difference somewhere else and easily enough at that. I take good care of that mother fucker and don't even charge his worthless ass for half the things I do there. $20 for mowing the lawn 8-10 times a year?! A steal considering the size of the lawn. I think this year I'll hire 2Dubb to do it and he can pay $40 a mow. Then he can hide and go fuck himself all over again.

The guy waits til the last tax day (deadline to file in Maine and Mass this year was the 17th, but in RI it was the 15th. Stupid Patriots Day holiday.) and then thinks he can do it all on his own using the Interweb?! FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.

^Awarded to the shitheel owner of the one property that I manage. He can fuck off. I have not heard from him in a couple weeks; he did not call or reply to my email so I guess he wants me to manage his property still? I sure as hell ain't paying and "late fees" for his taxes. I don't even want to manage that property anymore and probably will reach out to Marsh (that Rent Bangor thing) regarding his company taking over that place. Fuck it I don't even care... whether or not I care. I am too busy doing other things now to make that a priority, but hopefully later this year I can officially haul on his ass. I'd buy the place and own it for the right price, but managing it = DO NOT WANT.

I guess I should go over to North Main and drain the water out of the cellar again. Then I can go to Jester's for the last hour of the karaoke show. Normally my awesome wife does NOT work there on Sat nights, but she agreed to fill in for the Sat DJ. There are a lot of people there still so I am not in a hurry to get there. Plus I don't wanna drink too much since I have to work a long day tomorrow. I'll get roughly 5 hours of sleep tonight if things go well, 0200-0700. 5 hours of sleep sucks, but it is better than 4! The end. Fin.



Friday, 4-26-19: No work in Oakland today.
Rain is coming. Again. What a bunch of crap! The basement over at N Main had about 3" of water in it last night, although the floor is far from level over there so that number varies from under 1 to close to 6 depending on what nook and cranny you'd measure. I drained all the water out Tuesday morning so it had been 2.5 days since I ran the pump. Thankfully the furnace is still safely dry. I didn't drain all the water out last night because it would have taken over an hour so Dakota and I drained it for about a half hour before we put the dogs out and went over to the Eagles Club.

We spent the last couple hours of Kat's four-hour karaoke show over at the Eagles, and it was hilariously fun. Dakota is only 21, and the average age of the women over there is close to 3 times that number. I am being a little facetious about that fact, but seriously most of the people who go there are old. We grabbed a table near a bunch of the older ladies, and two of them loved Dakota. He was fresh meat! Dakota is far from shy, and he knows exactly how to ham it up and entertain so within 20 minutes he was crushing it on the mic to Whitesnake's Here I Go Again and then on the dance floor not long after that dancing with the old ladies to the Cupid Shuffle. It was sooooooooooo fun to watch! He got compliment after compliment from boozed up old ladies. They all want us to come back next week, and I am sure we will since it is my awesome wife's last week there until the regular DJ gets back from his Florida 3-month "vacation."

We more than earned our beers last night because for the past two days we've worked hard down in Oakland renovating Phil and Danielle's house. The rot we found in the back section was terrible, and it created a tremendous amount of extra work for us. What a bunch of crap! Phil actually thought he had to jack up part of his house, but thank the gods who do not exist that I talked him out of that decision. I'm not qualified to jack up part of a house. F that! I told him as much, and he doesn't have time to help me do that, so he finally decided to go with my plan "A" that still in no way compromises the structural integrity of their house. Maybe? Hopefully!

^Epic failer. We had to rip off half their back deck, and bye bye a few hours just for that part of the job. Who is going to rebuild that deck? Phil probably hopes I will raise my hand and say "Oh Jesus Hell ya!" but I have no desire to do that. I like building decks, but I'm already going to be over-schedule down in Oakland and I really can't be working down there for months on end.

Thankfully I taught Dakota how to shingle and he caught on quickly so he could do some shingling while I rebuilt rotten sills. Dakota has done great down there with me over the three days that we did go this week. As you can see in the photo above that shows rot-hell Dakota is also installing shingles. Since I took that photo I did replace most of the rotten box-sill, but not al of it yet.

Rain is coming around midday so we won't work down there today, and tomorrow I have six showings at a rental property. Maybe we can go Sunday, but that is far from certain. Then next week I want to spend two days and one overnight at the ol' homestead spending some time with Mom and Dad and *maybe* Jason if he's not too busy. Spring turkey season begins Monday so I want to go either Mon/Tues or, more likely, Tues/Wed. That means almost no work down at Phil's for several days. Maybe one day of of the next 7 we will be able to work down there? Hopefully the following week, the week before our vacation, we can work down there 4 days. We've done 3 days so far so I sill have a chance to get to 10 days down there before our vacation, but odds of hitting that mark are diminishing with each passing day. Now 8 days at most seems likely, and that means almost for sure we will still have that work looming over us into June. What a bunch of crap!



Tuesday, 4-23-19: ROT.
Dakota and I worked our first day down in Oakland yesterday, and things didn't go the way I had hoped. My plan was to strip old shingles off one section of the house, tarpaper, and start installing the new shingles on that same section (~100 square feet.) Unfortunately once I got to the area where the large back deck meets the house plans had to change, and change bigtime:

^ROT! That photo is only a small sample of what will be a shitload of rot, too. What a bunch of crap! The deck was installed after the siding was installed, and it was not installed with any consideration for water and moisture. Nothing was flashed at all so the deck just trapped all the water in the shingles, and over the years it created a spongy shit-show. Now the entire deck has to come off, and just doing that will take hours. Then I have to cut out the rotten sill areas, but if too much of the sill is rotten we might have to jack up part of the house before I can even replace any of that. It is all-bad, and a lot more work than what I had hoped. I'm not happy about that since I have a shitload of other things to do this year, but all I can do it work with what I have. Hopefully replacing all that rot won't take too many extra days...

Even if there was no rot at all there would still be a tremendous amount of work left to do down there just in shingle-installing. Their house is awesome to behold because it is unique and in a great, private location. Too bad all those unique features of the house, the octagon-room itself, and all the other nooks, crannies, and dormers means a copious amount of edges and corner-cuts for all the shingles. There is only one speed I can do in order to do it right: SLOW. I really don't think I can even finish down there by the end of next month as originally planned. I think it will be some time in June, and if I end up having a lot to do for the apartments then I won't finish down in Oakland for Phil and Danielle until later in the year. What a bunch of crap!

We're not going down there to work today because the weather is poor. It's not a total washout, but it is wet and very chilly. 44 degrees with temps expected to fall during the day, and the radar still shows numerous showers around. Tomorrow's forecast is not much better, but I am hoping we can do tomorrow, Thursday (looks great Thurs!) and hopefully Friday. Thankfully Dakota did a good job yesterday and he seems eager to come with me again so having his help will be fantastic. Without a helper I'd be down there all damn summer for sure!

I slept great last night; we bivouaced early and my awesome wife is still in bed. I slept for a couple hours Sunday night, I got up in the middle of the night to help break down the DJ gear from her karaoke show, and we watched episode 2 of season 8 Game of Thrones. It was glorious eating a McDonald's breakfast burrito and watching the show, and I have no regrets about getting jack shit for sleep. I probably did get close to 4 total hours of sleep that night in two separate 2-hr chunks so that was good enough. I didn't really even feel tired yesterday until closer to bedime. I started falling asleep a little while watching Jeopardy and some of WWE Monday Night RAW. WWE isn't even that good anymore, but we still watch it mostly out of habit at this point. On Jeopardy there is some guy who wins around $70-100k each time. OMG! If I was ever on that show my goal would be to win $1000 (the guaranteed minimum for the third-place finisher ahahahaha!)

I need to post an ad for an upcoming vacant apartment and line up some showings for this weekend. Hopefully I can do a few showings Saturday and find some good tenants. The current tenants will be out of there May 15th, but we will be in the middle of what will hopefully be a really fun vacation back to the RH in Mexico and won't even be home until the 18th so whomever does want the place will have to wait until roughly the 21st. If there place is left spotless then I might be able to have it ready to go by the 19th or 20th of next month, but I won't know for sure until we return from our trip. We leave for our vacation in only 17 days!

^Back to the tropics soon, and I am super-excited to go back to our "home away from home." Who needs a summer camp or an RV when you can go to a beautiful place like that instead?!



Sunday, 4-21-19: I need to catch a little sleep tonight.
I'm hoping to get a total of about 4 hours of sleep tonight. 5 would be fantastic, but probably unrealistic. 3 is more likely. I have to haul my worthless ass out of bed tomorrow morning around 0515, and I want to be on the road by 0545 so we can get to Oakland by 0645 and do a walkthrough with Phil before he leaves for his job. Tomorrow is the first day of shingling, and it will be the first of many more to come over the next month or 1.5 months. We did roughly half his house last year, and we still have the other half left to do. I kept track of the work we did last year, and it ended up being 19 days, 154 hours total, just for my own labor. On 16 of those days I had my awesome wife as a helper, and on two of those days we brought a third person along.

This year my awesome wife isn't going with me like she did last year. That is a bummer, but I understand totally because she has a lot of her own work to do up here. So instead I'm bringing Katherine's boyfriend, Dakota, with me. I'm not sure how he will do down there, but I have a feeling he will more than earn his keep. Katherine was a shit-show down there when we brought her with us last year. She did so terribly that I was almost embarassed about it. We tried to have her strip off old shingles, but she got tired within the first hour and was wasted like Doc-J and 8-Ball from Full Metal Jacket for the rest of the day. What a bunch of crap! I didn't even charge Phil the full rate for her labor, I had to eat much of that cost. Another of our days down there we brought Jeremy, and that was almost as bad as when we brought Katherine. Jeremy was drunk for most of the day because he brought "Natty Daddys" and had a blistering sunburn. It was very hot the day we brought Jeremy, too. What a bunch of crap!

I'm hoping to get a total of 10 good work days in down at Phil and Danielle's house before we leave for our Mexico vacation in just under three weeks, but I may have to settle for less. We'll go tomorrow, but likely not Tuesday due to expected rain. Hopefully we can go Wed (iffy forecast right now for Wed) and Thurs. Not sure if we'll go Friday yet, and beyond that it too soon to tell. I do know I want to go down to Warren to turkey hunt for an overnight stay next week so there are two more days of no work in Oakland. After that it's May and almost time for our 4th trip to Mexico in 5 years!

We've had a lot of rain this weekend, and unfortunately a lot of it has ended up in the cellar at our North Main poperty. Thankfully in the past someone installed the most bootleg drainage system, ever. Check out this masterpiece:


Amazingly enough that ancient sump pump still works. The hose that feeds the pump drain up to the shitter was rotting off at the pump end so that sucked. A lot. I had to hold it down onto the pump outflow, and the only way to do that was by standing awkwardly and by keeping my hand in the water. Gods damn it! Fortunately I got it taken care of so now all I have to do is turn the pump on. I've had to pump it several times in the past 3-4 days. Epic failer. Thankfully the furnace didn't flood out or I really would have been pwned. I'll have to address the water issues in that basement sooner rather than later so every year I don't have to rely on some bootleg pump to purge out the water.

^If the furnace floods we are pwned and out a few grand. Thankfully that furnace is elevated a good sum off the floor.

I guess I should get ready to bivouac now so I can sleep a little before my late-night revielle. My awesome wife is set up at The Pour House in Bangor, and she gets done at last call as long as the place can keep customers. Their credit card system was down not long ago, and it is Easter still, so maybe not many people will be there? I'll get up around 1230 and go back over to help her break down. Then we can eat some McDonald's and watch GOT before I try to get a little more sleep. Maybe? Hopefully! If I can't sleep after GOT then I will just stay up and drink MIO energy water throughout the day and sleep like a little baby tomorrow night.



Friday, 4-19-19: Happy... fruit anniversary?!
Today is our 4-year wedding anniversary. How awesome is that?! The percentage of people who thought we would last this long: under 10. I am joking, but not by much. I talked to Mom on the phone Wednesday night for a while, and I joked with her about it. I said "When Kat and I got married 4 years ago you thought it was a terrible idea and it wasn't going to last." She replied honestly and without pause "Yup." AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Back then my awesome wife and I had only been dating for 9 months so of course it seemed like a bad idea. Even part of me thought it was a bad idea, but I'm glad I did it because I knew I was with someone amazing who is one in a billion. I scored a hot chick who ranks above my pay grade wahoo!

So as an anniversary gift our great friends, Neil and Ang, gave us a fruit basket with all kinds of interesting things including what tastes like strawberry Pop Tarts. They could be raspberry or cherry, but my Pop-Tart-eating ass is pretty sure these are strawberry. Ang said that the 4-year anniversary is the FRUIT ANNIVERSARY because apparently that is when fruit is borne. I suppose there is a child reference mixed in there somewhere, but there shall be no kids for me because kids suck. Kat loves babies and would love to adopt a kid, but F that. However, I love my wife enough that it is tempting. However, nevermind she has kids who will soon enough have kids of their own and then we can hang out with the grandbabies and change their diapers. And when that happens I will have a conveniently-located woodpile out back so I can go chop wood while she does the diapers. Unfortunately if she reads this then I am pwned so nevermind. What a bunch of crap!

Overall it has been a great anniversary for us. Of course since our anniversary this year falls on a Friday it is the usual Jester's routine. I stayed at the bar for a while, but I came home to put the dogs out. As soon as I am done with this bootleg update that no one will ever read then I will put Groot back into her crate and I'll go back to the bar. My awesome wife sang the first song of the night, our wedding song. Ed Sherran Thinking Out Loud. She also played great songs before the show, songs like Girls, Girls, Girls, Heavy Fuel, and Hello America (early Def Leppard!) My wife is THE BEST. If you disagree then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.

This morning we exchanged anniversary gifts. This year was very much a GOT theme, at least for me. Here is a pile of loot that I gave to my Sweet Pea:

^The Iron Throne, Longclaw, The Targarian symbol, and the Hand-of-the-King lapel. I am wearing the lapel right now because I am the "Hand of the queen." Hehehehe. I also have a GOT tee shirt on that says Winter is Coming, and Kat has a GOT tee on that says I know things when I drink. HAHAHAHAHA.

Poor Groot, I feel badly that I have to lock her back up into her crate. Unfortunately she will do stupid shit if I let her be free, and we can't allow that.

^Kat's great gift to me, a wall of memories and a beautiful centerpiece that also has a veiled GOT reference with the wolves (HOUSE STARK!) I suck at photos, and she is great at them. Another of the many ways that we compliment each other. I am bad at a lot of things, and she is great at a lot of things.

The Red Sox managed to win a game tonight in Tampa Bay. Now they are 7-13 on the season and probably still in last place, but checking the standing is too much work. It has been a terrible start to the season for the defending champs. What a bunch of crap! Oh well the season is still early so mabye they can start winning more. Maybe? Hopefully!



Wednesday, 4-17-19: The easiest final tax day for me...ever?
I brought my laptop computer with me to my new tax office today for the first time, and I can now add this place to a LONG list of places where I have updated this bootleg site that hardly anyone ever reads. I don't have any tax clients today, only one to quickly finish, but the sandwich board is out and the OPEN sign is on so maybe someone will stop in. If not no big deal I have plenty of carpentry to do here in the "other office" area. I was free of clients yesterday PM for a few hours so I also worked on that area. I thought I would have finished it months ago, but oh well no rush on it since we're not going to lease it out as was the original plan back in the fall of last year.

So today is easy, very easy. I'm not making any money when there are no customers, but I have already well-exceeded what I thought I would do in my first year as a tax solo proprietor so that is more than fine. No advertising, all word-of-mouth and a sandwich board on the street, so no big business expected. Next fall I can start to prep for being open for an entire tax season, hopefully I can do a little advertising, and hopefully I can at least double what I did this year.

I have a lot to do for the last part of this month. Tomorrow I need to spend some time prepping the upstairs "new addition" area of our house for Katherine to use, and I need to fill some potholes and rake leaves over at the building where I used to live. Maybe clean the gym some, etc. I'm thinking I'll pay Katherine's boyfriend to help me with the yard cleanup over at that property because just raking the leaves and cleaning things up wiill take several hours if I try to do it all myself. Plus it will be a good test to see how good of a worker he is because I plan to bring him to Phil's house with me starting next week.

Last year my awesome wife and I did a tremendous amount of work down at Phil and Danielle's house, and when we finished the season it looked kinda like this out in his back yard:

^That photo is only a small fraction of what we did last year, but it shows where we left off. The remaining work will involve stripping off the old shingles moving from left to right and wrapping around to some point at the front of the house. Since I took that picture Phil did install a deck by that storm door so thankfully we don't have to do that. I love doing the work, but I have a lot of other things to do this year so I want to get his house taken care of ASAP. Hopefully most of it will be done by the time we go to Mexico from May 11-17 next month.

My Sweet Pea won't be able to come with me much if at all this time around for the work at Phil's so that is why I recruited Katherine's boyfriend. Kat will have to work a lot up here because her DJ business is really doing well. Plus someone has to be responsible for the dogs. Last year we only had Copper and Tiger Lily when we went down to Oakland, but now we have Groot and unlike the other two dogs she cannot be left home unattended yet because she finds things to destroy. What a bunch of crap!

I'm hoping to work down in Oakland 4 days a week next week, 2 days the week after (gonna turkey hunt and do a little work down at Mom and Dad's), and 4 days the week of May 6-10. If I can get 10 good work days in down there before our vacation then I think that will get me really close to the finish line of what is needed for work done down there. Maybe? Hopefully! When we get back from vacation I'll have a vacant apartment to re-rent, but I'm expecting that won't be hard to do. In fact I need to push that place hard next week so I can line up some showings and get a renter there. Thankfully that apartment still looks quite nice, at least last time I was there it did, because the tenants who live there now are really good people.

^From two years ago, 4-20-17, when Phil came up for several days later in April and maybe even into May some to help me with remodeling. That soon-to-be-vacant apartment has had the same tenants since we redid the floors and doors in that place. How cool is it that now I am going to work for him?!

I guess I should eat some lunch and then do carpentry until my self-imposed quitting time of 1600. If I get a customer or calls for later appointments then I will stay past 1600, but I hope I don't because I'd rather quit, go for a jog, and then celebrate the end of the tax seaon by eating pizza and hanging out with my awesome wife.*

*I'm pretty sure I'll do a few more tax returns for late and extension filers later this year, but those ones will be few and far between, if even at all.



Sunday, 4-14-19: Late-night GOT?
I just got back from my bootleg gym where I got a half-assed, but better-than-nothing workout in. About 20 minutes of some chest and back exercises. Decline bench, SLDL, flys, pullups. I think SLDLs also work legs and arms; that is a great core exercise. I don't do regular deadlifts anymore, just the straight-leg ones, because... fuck it I do enough and am cool with my overall health. Mostly. I also did DDP Yoga with my awesome wife this morning, and I went for a 3-mile jog early this afternoon. It was sunny and near 60 degrees, and I felt pretty good. Time of 25:03 ain't great, but the fact that I made it without walking any of it is a win. I've jogged about 20 miles so far this year, and at this point last year I had only gone 5. Not working at JH is all the difference.

I wanted to skip out of the house for a while this evening because it was the season 8 debut of the much-ancipated final season of HBOs Game of Thrones (GOT.) Kat and I watched all of the first seven seasons of GOT earlier this winter, and we loved the show so much that we recently rewatched all of season 1, many episodes of seasons 2-6, and all of season 7. We just finished our second go-around of season 7 last night, and it was glorious. GOT is an awesome show and if you disagree then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.

Katherine also loves GOT, and so does Debbie, so they planned to watch it this evening. Since my awesome wife is at work right now hosting karaoke at the Pour House I didn't want to watch it without her so I balied. First was a stop at my tax office to look a couple things up for Jason. After that was a trip to my gym, and I also spent 20 minutes cleaning my bootleg old primary office. Now I am obviously back home, but not for long because I'll head over to Bangor shortly. The Pour House is right next to a 24/7 McDonald's so hopefully we can grab a few late-night snacks and watch the season 8 debut of GOT around 0130 or 0200 tonight before we bivouac. It will be a late night for sure, but thankfully I feel well-enough rested and I don't need to get to my tax office tomorrow until 1000. I won't sleep in that late, I never do, except for last year's July 4th party when I got wrecked and had a horrible hangover the day after. What a bunch of crap! Ah well that July 4th party was epic and in hindsight I don't have too much in the way of regrets.

^Photo taken a few weeks ago, or so it seems. Since then I have moved that bookcase into my office and built some shelves out of that plywood but overall it is still not even close to clean in that gym area. What a bunch of crap!

My tax office has been way busier than I ever expected it to be, and that is awesome. I have had three walk-ins off the street, people whom I have never before met in my life, and all three of them are now clients. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I did get a 4th walk-in Saturday PM, but he was a neighbor who just wanted to say hello and get a quick form. Maybe he will use me for his taxes in the future, but if not no big deal. I like to meet the neighbors and I have met most of them over at that property. So far they have all been very good to me, and I try to return that courteousy.

In addition to the walkins from the street I have had friends of friends, referrals, family, and friends all reach out to me about taxes. I have not done even close to as many as I did at JH, but I wasn't even open until recently, at least not 100% open, so that is like comparing apples to oranges. Hell it's really like comparing apples to dog shit. Okay maybe not that is a very extreme analogy but the point is the two are very different. I've had former JH clients of mine track me down by Googling my name and finding me. How cool is that? On Friday I had a very nice older lady who tried to find me on Failbook. She must be 70, I forget exactly, but I told her to her face (politely of course) that I think it's hilarious she even knows how to use Failbook at her age! Of couse I don't partake in that monkey-shit, but maybe I will have my awesome wife make me a business Failbook page in the future if it leads to more clients...

I have had to deal with some very complex tax issues this year, and I am enjoying it more than I ever have. Trusts, K-1s, adoption credits, estates, etc. Things that take a fair amount of time to prepare and to research. Anything that appears to be too challenging will go to my old Liberty Tax boss because she also has her own tax business. So far I haven't had to send anyone her way, but I hope I can send her some business if not this year then next year because she is a good person who is the reason I even got into the tax world in the first place. We didn't always see eye-to-eye on how a business should be run, but she has more tax knowledge than I do, especially concerning business corporate taxes and really complicated trust stuff, so I'd gladly send people her way if needed.

There are only 3 days left before the tax deadline, and then after that I can get back into carpentry. I don't know how many more tax clients I will have, but I have four in the queue right now to finish up and I still have our own to finish. I bet I'll have a couple more people show up or call me, too. Maybe? Hopefully! If not that is okay, though, expecially since I have already exceeded what I thought I would do in my first year in business for myself.

Alright turds, all two of youz, I am going down to the bar and then we will eat a late-night breakfasty meal and watch GOT. Maybe I'll get 5 hours of sleep tonight. Maybe 4? 3? Hell in a perfect world best-case 6, but belay my last on that one because we have a Baby Groot who does NOT like it when we try to sleep in. Plus we're old now and old people don't sleep in anyway. Hehehehe. Definitely no sleeping in when a 10-month-old dog jumps on you at sunrise!

Oh, we took the dogs to the park and used the grill for the first time today so it is finally feeling like spring. Oh Jesus, hell ya! (I've taken the dogs to the park a few other times, but today both Kat and I were able to go together for a nice walk for the first time.)



Friday, 4-12-19: I gotta pace myself extra carefully drinking tonight.
I have been hanging out at Jester's for a while, but I had to come home to put the dogs outside and to give Groot a little time outside of her crate. Poor Groot needs to get locked up when we are gone because on occasion she does stupid shit like eat blankets, destroy chew-toys, sneak through seemingly impossibly small cat doors to eat cat food. What a bunch of crap that is! She must be close to 10 months old now so in a perfect world she would know better, but since she is still a puppy that just does not happen.

I have been stuffy and not quite 100% for the last couple or three days so I need to drink a little less than I otherwise would drink on a Friday night. When you are fighting off a cold the alcohol always hits harder. I am a huge fan of drinking to help cure a cold, but only in moderation. I'm pretty sure booze was an old-time solution to ails, but hell I dunno maybe I just made that up. I can look it up thanks to the magic of the GOOGLE INTERWEB MACHINE.


"Let's be honest. We're all looking for additional reasons to drink right now. As we head into the holiday season in the wake of the most divisive political upset since King Joffrey donned the crown on GoT, it seems like a great time to start viewing increased alcohol consumption as a medical necessity. Alcohol has been used for its medicinal properties since Biblical times, but we're not just taking god's word for it. I talked to practitioners from both Eastern and Western medicine about the legitimacy of historical alcohol cures to find out which ones are actually grounded in scientific fact and which ones are as baseless as your relatives' drunken rants at the Thanksgiving dinner table."

AHAHAHAHAHAA! This articele was posted on the Interweb in 2016, and that is when Trump defeated Hillary in the presidential election. I am kinda glad that Trump won because Hillary would have been a tumor on our long-term economic viability as a nation, but Trump is a piece of dog shit human being. Trump might actually be a worse human being than Hillary, but they are both terrible. Our fuckin' president dodged the draft and didn't serve his country because he had bone spurs in his foot. FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. Maybe if more people had served then my own dad wouldn't have had it so bad over in 'Nam. Hell what do I know I wasn't even alive way back then.

That article above gets bonus props for referencing GOT. That show is so awesome and if you disagree then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more. The article about whether or not booze helps with a cold was very inconclusive. No shock there, eh? I think, based on my own experience, that sometimes it does help and right now it is helping some. I felt like crap earlier, but I feel better now. Maybe it's because I am on my third drink of the night?

I don't want to get too boozed up tonight because I have a couple tax appointments tomorrow. My tax business has really been going great, and I have several more to finish before the deadline next Wednesday. I just found this funny tax meme online:

^AHAHAHAHAHAHHA! So funny because that bullshit happens to my ass every year. I have a client who gives me a shitload of receipts that smell like cigarette smoke. Pieces of leaves were falling out of his reeipts folder earlier this week. OMG WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! Nothing is organized, and it is a shit-show. Most of my late-filers are pretty awesome people who just waited until the end, and I am okay with that because this year my office wasn't even ready to go until the end. I can't mock the late-filers this year at all because our own taxes are not even done yet. What a bunch of crap! This year our own taxes are the most complex, ever. It has taken a long time to chew through them, and finally I am close to the point where I can submit them.

I had a couple people reach out to me earlier today, former JH clients of mine, and that is a good feeling. Some of these people have Googled my loser ass to get my number, and I am garteful that I fooled them enough into believing I am good at my job. One poor lady today said she had to pay $500 to get her taxes done at a competitor. OMG! That would be reasonable if she had a TON of unique and complex tax issues at hand, but it was only a couple rental properties, SSA, and a w2. Not that hard my price would have been maybe 1/3 of that. Certainly no more than half of that. I've had people coming in off the street, friends of friends, referrals, and former clients all seeming to find me. I won't do hundreds of taxes, not even close, but in this past week I have been plenty busy and I am happy to say that my tax office is a comfortable room in a great location. I am proud to have clients come there because it looks nice and mostly professional, and that is what I need in order to be successful in the years to come. Maybe? Hopefully! I am also grateful to all my friends and family who have had me do their taxes because that is a big part of my future success of the business. I really do enjoy doing taxes so I hope I can keep it going for many more years.

Alright turds, all two of youz who actually read this monkey-crap, I am going to lock Groot back up in her crate (it is a big crate at least, plenty roomy) and then head back down to the bar. Goonies never say die!



Thursday, 4-11-19: Nice haircut, snow, allergies?
It is 2205, and I just finished giving myself a haircut and then getting cleaned up. I cut my own hair about every 3-4 weeks, 1/4" buzz, same cut I've had for almost as long as I can remember. I've gotten pretty good at using mirrors for the back. It might not ever come out perfectly, but it is good enough. I remember when I cut my own hair before our wedding just about 4 years ago I accidentally took a chunk out of the back. What a bunch of crap! Thankfully none of our wedding photos show the back of my bootleg head.

We got about 4" of snow Monday, and we got another 4 inches Tuesday night into Wednesday morning. What a bunch of crap! I'm amazed none of the tenants complained because I decided to skip the plowing. There was not 8" total in the driveways because some of it melted on contact, but there were a few inches. Thankfully right now most of it has melted away because the sun is so strong this time of year.

^Yesterday morning Tiger Lily and Groot thoroughly enjoying the fresh snow. Copper was already inside because he doesn't seem to love the snow like they do. Instead he would rather try to get one of us to throw the ball for him 10000000 times a day.

Groot running in when she thought she'd get a reward for heading our way.

Then she got inside and wanted to go right back out to keep playing. Tiger Lily had huge chunks of wet snow matted into her underbelly from all the playing and rolling around. Our floor will be pwned within a couple years because of the pets, but I love the pets and they are worth it. I do love to watch them play in the snow, but I love it more when there is no snow at all.

So we still have snow on the ground and I had to take my first allergy pill of the season. Epic failer. I just took it a few minutes ago because I kept sneezing. I've been a tad stuffy all day and thought maybe I was fighting a cold, but now I dunno if it's just allergies because I don't really feel sick. Last year I didn't have to take too many allergy pills, but it does vary year-to-year. My nose was running hard for a while and I finally got sick of the sneezing. I did have the energy to lift some weights in my gym this evening so I know I'm not really too sick. At least I hope I'm not sick. I can't get sick because I have a lot more taxes to do!

The tax filing deadline is only five days away now, and my tax business is really doing well. Much better than I expected, and today I had my first ever "walkin" client. I actually had two of them. Oh Jesus, hell ya! No guarantee either of them will finish with me, but I think they will because I have all their stuff and my prices are very fair. I finally decided to try the sandwich board on the sidewalk and the OPEN sign and so far it is paying off. I still don't have regular hours, but I'll be there a lot tomorrow, Saturay, and then Monday-Wednesday of next week. I will take Sunday off unless someone desperately needs me for taxes that day.



Sunday, 4-07-19: Winter is coming (GOT reference.)
In the HBO epic show Game of Thrones they say "Winter is coming." a lot. I could probably Google memes of that shit and find something funny, something worthy of posting on this bootleg site that almost no one ever reads.

Yup, there are 1000 of them on the Interweb because that is a hugely popular show, and it is a damn good show. We have been rewatching some of the older seasons in anticipation of the final season 8 that debuts in one week.

Sadly winter is coming again for our northern asses. We don't normally get lots of snow in April, but tomorrow we are pwned:


OMG PWNED. It gets worse, too. Look at this gods damned forecast from weather.com:

^WHAT A GIANT BUNCH OF CRAP! We got an inch or two of snow a few days ago, and we got an inch of snow late Friday night. The snow we did get mostly melted away, and today was a very nice day. I went for a jog in shorts and a tee shirt, but obviously that will not be happening again for several days or more.

An inch or two of snow this time of year is a nusiance, but not that big of a deal because it melts away so fast. Unfortunately a half a foot of snow means another plowing bill that I was not planning for. What a bunch of crap! Maybe the forecast will end up being wrong and we will get rain or only an inch or two of snow so I don't have to pay for more plowing. Plus this time of year plowing destroys my bootleg dirt driveways and part of lawns where all the gravel from the driveways gets piled upon.

The Red Sox are off to a 3-8 start to their 2019 baseball season. Epif fail 11-game west-coast trip for them. They did win today, 1-0, but so far this season for them has been terrible. I have hardly watched any of their games because a lot of them were late starts due to their being out west. Today they did play at 1600, but we were getting ready for supper and getting ready to watch a little more GOT before my awesome wife had to get ready to go to work. I never watch a game for all 9 innings anyway, but I can watch a little more of the games when they start at 1900 as opposed to when they start at 2200.

There are only 9 days left in the tax-filing season, and I still have not finished our own taxes because I suck. I still have projects ongoing all over the place, and I want to start doing more shingling for Phil and Danielle in 1.5 weeks just after the tax season does end. However, with a very wintry forecast still in place I might not be able to start down there midweek next week if it is all wet/muddy/snowy. I can do shingling when it is still cool outside, but I don't want to destroy their lawn if it is still soft and thawing out. Hopefully the weather takes a drastic change for the better next week so I can bring Dakota down there and start getting some stuff done for them.

Who is Dakota you ask? He is Katherine's new-ish boyfriend. They have been dating for maybe a couple months, and he seems like a decent guy. She is 20 still, he is 21, and he is looking for some work so Kat and I decided that I should bring him with me to help with the carpentry since she is busy working 3 nights a week now, and at the end of this month it will be 4 nights a week for two consecutive weeks. It might not seem like a lot, but for her it is since she has lupus and since working down in Oakland for Phil and Danielle = long days including the travel. Assking my awesome wife to do carpentry with me and to do her DJ stuff would just be way too much.

It is still weird that my wife works Sunday nights now. The bar where she works seems like a piece of shit, but hey people go there and I guess it makes money. The owner seems like a decent guy, but he's usually not there. For this week and for last week they have some bootleg pricing system for their drinks that I hate. The prices of the drinks change, and they have TV screens that show the current price sorta like you'd see on CNBC when they show the stock market screens. It's all based on supply and demand or some shit like that. So for example if a bunch of people buy Fireball the price shoots up. If a bunch of people buy Bud Light then the price shoots up. If no one buys Fireball for a while then the price drops some.

The bar does have a great selection of beers on tap. However, nevermind because for the past couple weeks their taps have not worked. What a bunch of crap! I wanted to get a cider beer last week, but they didn't seem to have anything even in bottles so I just got a Bud Light. I'm not really a picky drinker and I haven't drank too much on Sunday nights becase Friday is my normal drinking night. I will have a few tonight, though.

^I got that from Google, but the bar does shit like that and it is epic fail. Where the hell is my bootleg fail trophy? Ok here it is...

^Awarded to any bar that decided to base their alcohol prices on micro-economics. Doing that stupid shit means you do suck!

I had intentions of doing actual, real work tonight. Maybe some taxes, maybe some cleaning of my old bootleg rental office, or maybe the last little bit of flooring here at the house. However, I did my DDP Yoga and then I decided to drink alcohol and to write my useless thoughts to almost no one at all except for the three most important people who could read this right now: Me, myself, and I. Where's my psychologist?

I'm not gonna do any work tonight, F that. Instead I will head out shortly and stop by the bar. Then, since the bar is so close to the casino, I will go there and gamble away about 20 bucks of our precious... precious money. I think the casino is comfortable enough, but I believe thier alcohol prices are sad. $4 for a PBR?! Hell maybe now it is $6. I have not gotten a beer from that place in seemingly forever. Maybe they have "stock market" alcohol pricing, too. (I hope not!) I was at the casino for about 30 minutes a couple weeks back while my awesome wife was working, and I was disappointed to not see any video poker machines. Maybe I just didn't happen to spot them, but those used to be my favorite. So instead I sat at a slot machine and blew around 11 bucks.

The one bonus of where my wife does work is the location. There is a 24/7 McDonald's next door so we can get out of work and get cheap food. Tonight hopefully we will do the same, and then we can have a middle-of-the-night snack and watch some of WRESTLEMANIA before we do bivouac. I don't have any appointments until 1100 tomorrow so I can stay up late and sleep in. I also took an hour nap this afternoon so I am good-to-go. I won't work much tomorrow, and the one good thing about the fact that WINTER IS COMING is I have a great excuse to putter around and sorta half-ass my work day.

Alright turds, all two of youz, I guess I am going to go do other things now across the bridge. Who knows maybe I will end up at the casino and win a few bucks. Odds are better I'll get struck by lightning, though. What a bunch of crap!



Thursday, 4-04-19: I bounced around from job to job today.
It has been a long day, and I think I accomplished a decent amount of work. However, nothing is done so maybe not. Nothing is ever done there are always things coming up. I have work going on at three different locations right now. What a bunch of crap! First I have my bootleg old office to clean, and I spent at least an hour maybe two hours over there today not only cleaning that office but also painting a wall where the radio will go in the gym there. Second I worked over at our North Main property removing old flooring in the "other office" area. The old tiles are all asbestos so I'm probably gonna die. Ah well, it only happens once so it's really nothing to fear. Unless you believe in the afterlife in which case dying would suck a lot more. All I can think of right now is that catchy Queen song called Who Wants to Live Forever? Not me, no chance in hell of that. Another decade and I'll call it a win. Two decades and I might start going to church. Three decades? Might be heaven on Earth as long as I am cognizant enough to still appreciate it.

Work at my third location today was right here at our own house; I spent a couple more hours working on these stairs:

I am not done with them, but I made great progress. Hopefully I can finish that before tax season ends in a couple weeks. That's also around the time we hope to move Katherine back upstairs so that is my driving factor in wanting the stairs done. Today we had a second bedbug treatment up in the new addition here, and the prognosis is favorable. There was one live bedbug on the wall, but it was not a Goonie because it was about to die. The remediation-guy treated me well and I think he knew what he was doing. Maybe? Hopefully!

In addition to the carpentry work that I did today I also had to spend time with the pest-service guy at N Main, I had some paperwork to do, and I finished up some more tax returns this afternoon. Two more paying clients checked off the list, another $245 added to the ledger. Not a pace to make us millionaires anytime ever, but good enough for a fledgling little startup business.

My awesome wife is working for another hour, and I can't wait for us to get home and to bivouac. I feel kinda tired, and I am also sore from doing flooring and using my gym. I had intentions of playing racquetball tomorrow, but I think I will skip it and just go for a jog because my tennis elbow is still a nusiance. It is much better than it was, but today's stripping the floor, painting, hammering, etc might aggrivate it a tad. Doing flooring is a lot of up, down, up, down (left right left right B A B A start Konami code like a boss hehehe.) and it always feels a little bit like I used the gym.

Tomorrow I have two more tax appointments. Oh Jesus hell ya! There are only 11 days left before the filing deadline so I really need to get our own taxes finished. It will take at least a couple hours of work to even have ours ready, and maybe even 3-4 hours. I'll do a little here, a little there, and hopefully by this time next week I can get them submitted and then scrape together the money that will be required to pay the taxes due. This year we will be more poor because I will have the expense of the new tax business (it will operate at a substantial loss as expected for year one) so at least we have that to look forward to when we file 2019 taxes in 2020. However, I plan to sell a property and there will be sizeable capital gains so nevermind we will owe a lot next year, too. it never ends. What a bunch of crap!

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