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"Today Pop turns 46 years old." - My June 7, 1995 journal entry (I'm 46 years old now.)

Wednesday, 6-29-22: A day off today?
It's noon, and I haven't gone to work today. I don't think I'll go at all today, but who knows? If it gets busy tonight I'll go help. When was the last time I didn't go do at least some work at the bar? 2021? My awesome wife is down at the bar working, though. What a bunch of crap!

We celebrated our 8-years together in epic fashion last night. We started off having a mediocre meal at a competing local restaurant (We didn't want to eat at our own place because there would be too many distractions.) before heading to our own bar for some drinks, karaoke, etc. We even used our new pool table for the first time, and that was really fun. I can't even remember the last time I played a game of pool. A decade? Kat said she had never played until a few days ago. Wow! We don't own the table, it's owned by a gaming company, and it costs $1.50 a game, 6 quarters. We get a cut of whatever profits come. Right now the pool table is in the event room, and most likely that's where it will stay. We can't make it available 100% of the time we are open because people use the event room for other things. Last Friday was a huge Sweet 16 birthday party, and they used it a lot during their private event.

For the first time in a long time my awesome wife and I had a really fun time together. Best time we've had so far this year for sure. We needed it, too. So far 2022 has been a bunch of crap, especially lately since she is still recovering from her stroke and I am recovering from whatever the hell I had. I haven't even felt like myself for a long time so last night was a big step in the right direction. Bye bye $150, hello no regrets at all!

I should try to finish this before my next project comes up:

Why is a sink there when nothing else is done?! The plumbers were working this weekend so I asked them to do whatever they could while they were there. We wanted to move the ice machine, but epic failer me the thing is hard-wired and I am not qualified to deal with that electrical connection. We totally emptied it out, went to move it, and then saw we could not do so. What a bunch of crap! Even worse, it was 90 degrees and the machine was off for a few hours. It seems to take longer to make ice when it's so hot so we went into our Saturday night with hardly enough ice. Thankfully it wasn't crazy-busy so we barely got by.

It will be a burden trying to do the floor in that soon-to-be bathroom, but I think I can lift up that sink base and work around it. Maybe? Hopefully! I need to get it done because I'm sick of having things on my list that are only half-done. Whose fault is that? Me, myself, and I!

I opened an E-Trade account a week or two ago, and this morning I finally pulled the trigger on some investments. I used to have money in the stock market, but I cleaned it all out to do the bar. For decades I had an Edward Jones account, but this time I decided to just do my own thing since they get lots of fees and commissions. I need to give Phil a huge thanks since he gave me advice on what to buy. I was about to invest some in Bitcoin/crypto, but Phil said it's "speculative junk" so I just took his advice. Gavin also gave me some advice so I bought a bit of his suggestion, too. I don't want to be a day trader so I'm hoping to just leave it and see if it can grow. The markets are down bigtime now thanks to our pudding-head president and his failed policies. Buy low, sell high! Right?

In a perfect world that money will stay in the market and grow for a couple decades and then we can cash some or all of it in when we retire. If we live that long? If not oh well I guess I should log back in and figure out who gets it if we both check out. It's not huge money anyway, but I'd hate to die and have it stuck there and ending up in government hands in purgatory.

Saturday, 6-25-22: Self control before work.
We just watched some wrestling on TV, stuff we recorded from last night (WWE Smackdown and AEW Rampage) and now it's time for a little channel 1928 before I get ready for work. Just as I put on the fantastic 80s-music channel Laura Branigan's Self Control came on. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I love this song! If you don't like this song then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.

I hope I have self control at work today. Last night was tough at work for my loser-ass. Running the Friday and Saturday nights sucks sometimes. It wasn't busy at first, but then it gots busy in a hurry. One of our servers called out, we were short-staffed, and a bunch of little-league kids and their parents all came in just after 2000. We're mostly 21+ and adult-themed and loud once karaoke starts at 2030, but in the past we have allowed the kids and their parents to stay until closer to 2100. I told them the kids have to go by 2100, but we got crushed and I had to go cook so we didn't even get all their food out until 2055. What a bunch of crap! (It did take them a while to order so we had a decent ticket-time in the kitchen and we totally crushed it.)

Some of the staff and a few customers don't like it when the kids are there late, and I don't like it too much either. We're a loud bar with music cranking once it gets late, but we also want business and the baseball fields are right next to our plaza. You can stand at the entry and see them playing. They sometimes come in other days of the week when it's slow so we like to have them. Plus the kids want to sing, and to their credit they crushed it with a group rendition of Livin on a Prayer last night.

Since we fed them so late there was no chance of getting them out by 2100. What am I gonna do, give them 5 minutes to eat? Plus their parents collectively spent $300 for the 1.5 hours they were there so that's not bad at all. I was still in the kitchen helping crank out food when one of the two bartenders came in and said "It's almost 9 the kids have to go." I was NOT in the mood for that shit, it's my fucking bar (Kat's bar, but I co-own), so I told her to get the fuck out of my kitchen. She was pissy because she doesn't like kids in the bar late, and a few other customers also weren't too happy about it.

Having kids in the place late does interfere with the vibe. Our bartender did have a good point, but at the same time they colletively spent $300 and I don't need my staff telling me what to do when we're in the weeds and incredibly busy. I was NOT going to go throw everyone out right at 2100 so I did the best I could, and the parents knew they all couldn't stay late. The kids won a big game, they were all happy, let them have a good time for a bit.

The next time 11 kids and 9 adults all roll in looking to celebrate a team win so late I think I will have to tell them no, though. It's hard to even find space for that many people so late on a weekend, and they were lucky we even had the tables for them all. Most times we don't. I did talk to one of the parents about it later, and I told him Tuesdays and Sundays are great days for the kids to come do karaoke, but we can't let them sing anymore on a Friday or Saturday night.

It's a tough call that leads to a 50/50 outcome. Let them stay and 20-30 people are happy, but just as many are unhappy. Kick them out and it's the same but in reverse.

My job there on Friday and Saturday nights can be really fucking hard. Then, to make matters worse, just as things were getting crazy-busy Kat showed up breathing fire so I told her to let me run the place, and I was tempted to put in my 2-week notice and leave my own business. What a bunch of crap! Sometimes it's just not worth it. However, most of the time I do still enjoy it. I've gotten tons better in the kitchen and we did awesome getting all that food out for the kids, parents, and what seemed like 50 other customers who all showed up around that same time.

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Friday, 6-24-22: I should jog, but can I?
There have been a lot of really good weather days this month, days with low humidity and temps around 70. Perfect weather for going for a jog. However, physically I am not where I need to be so all I've been able to do is a few short jogs here and there, and most often I have to stop and walk. I can't even usually make it one mile without stopping to walk. What a bunch of crap! I know when you get older everything is harder to do, but I've had a huge drop in a short time. Being sick for half of the spring (no exaggeration) and Kat having a stroke turned everything to shit.

Thankfully my awesome wife is recovering and getting better each day. I'm also feeling better than I did to start the month, but I still get a plugged up and runny nose each and every day without fail. I have more energy, but when I jog it feels I don't have any. I did play racquetball a couple times this week and did okay, and I did lift weights a couple times as well. Overall I feel better this week than I've felt since early May. Still epic failer.

I will try to jog, and I'm okay with only going a mile. Hopefully I can go more, but I already did lift weights a short while ago so that wears me down. I don't even lift heavy anymore, F that. It's 80 degrees, partly cloudy, and not too humid so I should at least try. Tomorrow will be 89 so I won't even attempt to jog. Overall this spring has had really good weather with only one short heat wave back in May. Most of the middle of the country has been extremely hot this month, but not us. I'd call that a win!

The new freezer is installed and working great at the bar. Tomorrow Bruce comes to do some more work for us so I have to be there at 0800. That means about 4 hours of sleep tonight. What a bunch of crap! Oh well, I can *hopefully* take a nap tomorrow afternoon before I work tomorrow night. Of course I work tonight 1700-close as is my usual Friday night shift. For the past couple weeks I've also had to work Tuesday night and some Wed due to callouts and other issues. That cuts into precious... precious time I have to finish all the carpentry that's on my list, but I still made time to work on this yesterday for a few hours:

That's the soon-to-be employee restroom at the bar that I started over a year ago. I just haven't made time to finish it. What a bunch of crap! Bruce might be able to install the toilet and sink tomorrow, but I'm not expeting it. I'm not really 100% ready for it because the floor isn't done, but lately when contractors are there I try to get as much done as possible since they all stay so busy.

I have a couple hours before I have to go back to work. I say "back to work" because Kat and I were at the bar for a while this morning. We set up the event room for a Sweet 16 birthday party tonight, I took care of some paperwork, and did the usual. I have plenty of time to attempt a jog before I mow the back yard, cool off, shovel in some food, get cleaned up, and get my ass back to the bar. Friday nights are usually very busy, same for Saturdays, so I work the busiest two shifts each week. That is not a complaint, though. I like to be there when it's busy because it's never boring. Last Sunday, Father's Day, was actually almost as busy as our normal Friday and Saturdays. We blew our previous Sunday sales record out of the water, and by a lot. Breakfast was massive, and it stayed fairly steady and at times busy all through the afternoon. I actually had to go help cook Sunday evening for a while, and I was happy to do it. This will be a really good week for our restaurant, but we have a lot of bills to pay so it doesn't mean any profit yet. That should come in the future. Maybe? Hopefully!

If not we're pwned because the entire family works there now, and I don't want them all to be jobless.

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Thursday, 6-16-22: Celtics halftime.
I had game 6 of the NBA finals on, but now it's halftime. Celtics-Warriors, and Boston is down 3 games to 2 and currently losing 54-39. What a bunch of crap! They were up 2 games to 1 a week ago. Oh well, if they lose they still had a great run. At least the Red Sox are doing awesome this month.

I'm staying up for a while in case I'm needed down at the bar. I don't think I will be needed, but it's always possible. I had to go down last night, but only for about a half-hour. I spent a lot of time at that place so far this week. Too much, and it started to burn me out. Monday I had to get the old walk-in freezer out of there:

I knew that job was going to suck ass, and I was not wrong. That thing was HEAVY. Nick and I took it apart in pieces, but it still took us 5 hours to get it all out of there. It was a metal box with wooden 2x4 and 2x6 interior supports and fiberglass insulation. Normally would not be so heavy, but over the years it becaome leaky and waterlogged so that was awful. Mold everywhere, too. It probably cost me precious... precious time off my life but I don't really care. I'm good to check out whenever. After we got all the pieces out the back door I had to bleach away mold off the side of that beer cooler, cut out the moldy bottom sheetrock, swing by the dump, and hit up Lowe's for supplies. It was a full work day for sure, and it was tiring.

The new freezer came in later Tuesday. I wasn't supposed to work in an official capacity that day, but our evening manager called out so I ran the night shift. I actually enjoyed working that shift, but I paid for it yesterday when I had a very long day working on getting that new freezer going. Both electricians and Nick (HVAC contractor) were there until quite late. I came home, but then it got busy and I had to go back. What a bunch of crap! It really burned me out so today I was grumpy and feeling beat. I was at the bar this morning, but I didn't even want to be there. I didn't feel good so that also sucked. Sometimes in the morning I just can't get going lately. What a bunch of crap!

I did rally some this afternoon and played racquetball against Mike. I should have won 2 of the 3 games, but I blew it. Up 11-1 in game 1 and lost 16-14. I suck! I get tired because my stamina is not what it once was. I probably won't ever get it back because I'm too old, but something has been wrong with me ever since the pandemic. Is it older age? Covid after-effects? Crazy restaurant schedule? All of the above? I dunno and I will never know. I was feeling better earlier in the week, but today just didn't work for me.

The Celtics are now losing 72-52 halfway through the 3rd. What a bunch of crap!

This weekend is Father's Day, and I plan to go visit Dad. His 73rd birthday was earlier this month and all I did was send a text message. I should have called, but I'm still pissed off at Mom for shtting all over my wife a few months ago. Dad and Mom are pretty much a package deal since they've been married for longer than I've been alive. Their 48th anniversary will be mid-November this year. Wow! Kat and I have been together close to 8 years (married over 7) and it seems like forever.

So when I go to see Dad it will also involve going to see Mom. Mom is a good person who has texted me well-wishes for Kat recently. Mom tends to be judgemental, and I know she still blames my wife for the Doug disaster. Nothing I can say will change her mind on that either. Doug made his own luck when he was back here, and I will leave it at that. It's not my wife's fault that my brother is wired to take more than he is willing to give. It was a total shit-show and epic fail all wrapped up in one crap-roll when Doug was back. Gods damn it! All Doug wanted to do was lift weights and hang out, and I needed to see more than that.

I don't want to not see Dad because of Mom so I will go. I also do want to see Jason, Holly, Hawke, and Nadia. I'm a terrible uncle who never sees his nephew and niece, but fuck it. I'm not wired for that shit. What the hell am I going to do to entertain a 2-year old boy and a 10-year old girl? I played with Nadia a couple years ago, and it was pretty boring. She had a bunch of stupid Disney shit. I should have brought her my Gunnery Sgt Hartman doll and some RAMBO stuff...

RIP, Hartman. I WILL MOTIVATE YOU, PRIVATE PYLE!

Where's my psychologist? Oh yeah, he's on vacation this week. Hopefully not to Yellowstone because that park is flooded and closed. If he washed away down the Yellowstone river there is no replaement because young people don't become psychologists anymore. The supply does not meet the demand. I could be one, but my advice would be terrible. Someone would be telling me about their shitty life and I'd be charging them admission for a night in our new walk-in freezer. -5 degrees would get the job done pretty fast but then we'd have a frozen corpse to haul out the next day so that part would be a bunch of crap!

I suck at doing things with kids, but today my awesome wife and I went to the park with the dogs and Damon. He's only 8 months old, but he seemed to really enjoy himself. The dogs had fun for a little while, too. Then they got tired because Copper was not there to keep them motivated. It was our first trip to the park since Copper passed away last year, and it wasn't the same. We still miss Copper. A lot. That dog would play fetch for hours, and he had a tremendous amount of energy. I don't believe in an afterlife, but I hope reinccarnation is a thing and he is back somewhere in some form bringing his positive energy to people who need the boost...

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Friday, 6-10-22: We're both getting better.
Kat had COVID and a stroke a couple weeks ago, and I've been sick with some sort of chest cold/sinus problem for just over three weeks. What a bunch of crap! I should have gone to a doc, but I didn't. I saved a couple hours (or more) of precious... precious time by not going, and I saved a couple hundred bucks (or more) as well. I should get signed up through the VA, but I never make things like that a priority.

I have been feeling better lately, and I keep improving. Kat is also improving, and her memory seems much better. She has been able to work down at the bar for a few hours each of the past few mornings until she gets tired and needs to call it a day. She tries to do too much, but I don't blame her for not wanting to just sit around all day. Right now she's cleaning her studio here at the house. That studio has been a catch-all for everything lately so she can't even use it for anything. What a bunch of crap!

I worked some more on this yesterday:

I got a 30-minute lift done and then I did some more painting. I need to get that other stuff out of there, but this is the back-cellar storage area right now:

^What a bunch of crap! Hopefully next week we can get that cleaned out, but I don't want my awesome wife to overdo it so maybe we won't. I can't do it without her because she has to decide what to do with a lot of that stuff. That bed in the first gym photo that I posted was Jason and Doug's bunk bed from our childhood. It's been in the family for decades, and I don't want to get rid of it or take it to Goodwill. Maybe Jason will want it back one day? I'd love for him to have it for his family, but I don't think they will want it.

That bunk-bed set was part of a bunch of other things that I pulled from the Allen Rd cellar when I was cleaning it out 1.5 months ago. I had a lot of stuff left over there, things that were covered in dust and forgotten. I have a box full of old journals as well so I'm planning to read through at least a few of them over the summer.

I don't miss Allen Rd at all so far. I'm quite relieved to not have to do the landlord thing anymore, and I feel like I finally have some precious... precious free time. The new landlords for Allen Rd rented our old apartment 2 to a husband and wife traveling nurse couple. They'll be there for three months, and I'm sure they're paying at least $1600 a month. They actually came into our restaurant a couple days ago and met Dillon. He was their server (also manager on duty) and got to talking to them. Pretty cool he lives right across the street from them with his own family.

Doug, Jon, and I rented that apartment September 1, 1998 for $545 a month with heat included. That place was a piece of shit that smelled like cat piss. The entire property was dumpy and ghetto, and now it's pretty nice.

The new owners of Allen Rd seem friendly, but they are tough on tenants compared to me. They sent me best wishes for Kat, and they sent me a few photos of the apartment. The place has never looked better, but OMG on the rents. That still pisses me off how much they are increasing rents, but there are two things I can do about it now: nothing and like it. I don't giv a shit if they charge $100,000 a month for my old apartment since that one was vacant, but all the other tenants are getting hosed later this year including poor Daniel and Emily. Rent now $950/month. Rent come fall = $1500/month plus $100/year nonrefundable pet fee. OMG WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! The market right now is just broken. Thanks for the bad economy and inflation, Biden.

I took a little break from getting some of my projects done while I focused on Kat and seeing her improve, and now it's time to get back to it. I'll try to do a little more in the cellar today before I work tonight, and who knows maybe I'll take a nap. We're expecting a 75-degree, low humidity day today so I'd love to go for a jog and sit outside with my best friend/wife. It's 1000 now, and I already spent an hour or more cleaning the house. Soon I'll get off this bootleg site that almost no one ever reads and I'll get to work for a while.

Gas is close to $5 a gallon here now. What a bunch of crap! The Red Sox lost late last night to the Angels after winning 7 in a row. No complaints there. The Celtics are up 2-1 against Golden State in the NBA finals with game 4 in Boston tonight. Go Celtics! Tom Brady is back for what is likely a final season with Tampa Bay for this upcoming NFL season. That guy is going to play QB at age 45, just like he said he would all those years ago when he was still with the Patriots. Wow!

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Monday, 6-06-22: Guy needs to learn how to use his newer phone.
I have this newer Motorola cellphone, and I barely know how to use it. I think I've had it around 4 months? I could check the archives, but it doesn't matter. Whether it's been 3 months, 4 months, or 5 months that's still plenty of time to learn the thing. Unfortunately I haven't made it a priority at all so I am still quite useless with the thing. I have photos in it, but I don't even know how to put them onto my computer. I dunno how to install my Legacy of the Wizard ringtone either. What a bunch of crap!

Yesterday was Kat's 47th birthday, and we tried to do some things and had a bit of success. I got her to the restaurant mid-late morning for our Sunday brunch birthday breakfast. She had COVID and a stroke late last month, but thankfully the COVID test was negative and she is showing some improvement. She's still not close to better, but I see progress. She did better today as well and was able to show me how to do some of our food inventory. I'm not good at inventory at all, and she can fly through it when she is feeling well. Her and I spent 3 hours down at the bar before I brought her home for the day. We had lunch together then I went back to the bar to finish a few things before a trip to the bank and Wal-Mart.

We watched a mediocre movie called Old before bed, and I was happy to be able to talk to her about parts of the movie today. I think if we watched the movie a few days ago she wouldn't have remembered much about it. The short-term memory is seriously impaired still, but on certain things she is really sharp. The movie was about some hidden beach that makes people age rapidly so 30 minutes on the beach equals one year, or something like that. It was an interesting concept, but flawed execution with lots of plot holes. I'd rate it 5/10.

I've still not been feeling well, and I almost went to walk-in care this morning to get checked out. This gods damned cough is like a turd in my life punch-bowl. I've had it for three weeks now, and every time I think I'm doing better it turns out I'm not. I felt like ten pounds of crap stuffed into a five-pound bag this morning, but I did feel somewhat better this afternoon and did better on a jog than I thought I would. Went 2.25 miles and had to walk a bit at the end, but I had only been able to jog/walk for a slow and pathetic one mile Saturday.

^This cough and Kat's stroke = massive turds in the punch-bowl of life. What a bunch of crap!

I haven't gotten anything really productive done lately. I haven't felt good, I've been worried about Kat, and I don't want to start something that pulls me away from her for too long. We are getting a pool table for the bar Thursday, but I don't think that will take up too much of my precious... precious time. We plan to put it in the event room, and we need to figure out how to best utilize it. Maybe on certain nights of the week we can open up the room, staff it with a bartender, and use it as an alternate/overflow. We have done that a few times to mixed success. It's hard to get a lot of people back there just to hang out so the pool table should help with that. Maybe? Hopefully!

On Monday next week I will be busy and probably be putting in a full day of work ripping out our old walk-in freezer and having a new one installed. Our HVAC guy will be there helping, and I have no idea how long it will take. We did buy it from Flagg's and they will come set up the new box. However, getting rid of the old one and clearning out the space is not going to be a fast endeavor.

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Thursday, 6-02-22: Goodbye to another terrible month.
I couldn't even start this bootleg update that almost no one will ever read because I had to sneeze a couple times and blow out some snot. My health was poor for the last half of May, but I really can't complain that much because my poor wife's health ended up even worse. I had to take her to the ER Saturday night from work because she was a physical mess, and I had to take her again Monday morning. On Monday they determined that not only did she have COVID but she also had a stroke. OMG.

MY WIFE HAD A FUCKING STROKE. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

What caused it? Docs think COVID had a part, maybe caused it all, but it very well could be other factors including the stress of running the restaurant/bar. Kat pours her soul into the place, and she has been working there way too much. We both have been, but especially her with doing inventory, schedules, dealing with reps, hosting karaoke, and dealing with most of the employee gripes, complaints, and stupid shit.

My poor wife had been feeling off for at least a week, and last Thursday she couldn't do her karaoke show because she felt too shitty. Nate covered for her at the last-minute, and I went down to the bar and got drunk while she slept. She was pissed off at me for getting drunk, but I wasn't really sorry. I had to go anyway since Travis didn't have a key (new MOD) and I had to lock up. I did have one too many drinks, though. No booze for me tonight, and none since then. I haven't even had the desire because Kat is not okay right now and I want to be ready if she gets worse. Last week I didn't know she was sick from the 'rona; she gets sick often so it becomes almost the norm at times. Not proud of that, but it's the truth.

Strokes can be scary because you can end up like this guy from Legend of the Fall:

A stroke can turn anyone into a mental baked potato (BIDEN?) so thankfully Kat is not a mental invalid. She is weak, but she is aware. Her short-term memory needs work, but I think she'll get there. I spent time today quizzing her on little things. Stuff like "What do the neighbors have on their porch across the street" and "How many times have I filled up your water bottle for you?" She usually can answer, but it is a slow response. She has to think about it, and sometimes she loses her words for a moment. Sounds terrible when described that way, but it really could be so much worse. She passes all of my tests, but it takes her a little longer than I'd like.

Fucking COVID. What a total shit-show this world has become. Lately I get drunk and write on here how much I hate my life, and it's basically true. My life is a train-wreck ever since we did the restaurant. Covid is like the shit-cherry on top. Now there is sometime called MONKEY POX, but I don't even care about that right now. There is no room for that in my life at the moment. I took two COVID tests recently and they both came back negative, but something questionable is going on since I haven't been well for a couple weeks.

May was a bad month. What a bunch of crap! How many more bad months can I take? Kat was not doing well at all yesterday, but I did see a small improvement today. Plus the weather was perfect so we could go outside for a while, and that helped. I'm also improving, but I'm not great. I did use my bootleg new cellar gym both yesterday and today. Not a long or arduous workout, but it's a start. Yesterday I was finishing up a short, 25-minute lift when I heard a THUD on the floor above. My first thought was Kat fell, but then I heard the dogs prancing around and thought maybe they were playing. I came upstairs ASAP, and Kat was on the kitchen floor. OMG. She landed on her ass so she was not hurt, but it still sucked. She gets dizzy and has a hard time walking around. She's beat.

Thankfully we haven't been needed too much at the restaurant so I've been able to spend time with my wife. I go down and work some here and there because it needs to be done. A little inventory, some bills, payroll, the usual. I got called in to help for a half hour last evening because it got busy for supper. Not full, but hit all at once. Nothing taking me away for too long. Tomorrow I work 1700-close so that will be a 9-hour shift. I don't like leaving Kat at home by herself for that long so I'll count on Dillon and Daniel to check in on her here at the house. Even though work is really close to our house Friday nights get incredibly busy so I can't just take off on a whim.

The Celtics are on right now, and it's 66-60 Golden State in the 3rd. Boston beat Miami in game 7 a few days ago to advance to the finals. Golden State is favored so all I can hope for is a good, close series. I'm not a HUGE fan, but it's interesting enough to watch most of. Go Boston! Kat went to sleep, but I'm staying up just in case I'm needed at the bar. I don't want to leave the house if I don't have to; things are not busy at the bar right now so I think I can stay here and bivouac soon. Maybe? Hopefully!