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"What was Luke and Leia's relationship in Star Wars?" -Trivia question asked at our Monday Night Trivia at the bar
"Father and son." -Devin's (Katherine's fiance) hilarious answer.

Tuesday, 11-30-21: My old apartment from 1998.
On September 1, 1998 Doug, John, and I moved into a bootleg, piece of shit apartment located at what was Prospect Avenue here in Brewer. The place was a mess, and I recall we got a $75 rent discount for cleaning it up and reimbursed with more rent discounting for renting a rug cleaner and buying paint to try to square the place away. The carpets smelled like cat piss. What a bunch of crap! Rent was $545 a month with oil heat included.

John was one of Doug's closest friends, and he lived with us for about a year before he moved on. After John we got Carl, a childhood friend, and after Carl we got some other roommates in the early 2000s including Sam and Tim. Sam smelled like fish (worked at a seafood restaurant hahaha) and Tim worked with me at Circuit City. It was a lifetime ago, and that apartment is still in my life.

I met a couple of my greatest friends through that apartment, Walter and Phil, and it amazes me that we still see each other on occasion to this day. I probably have photos of us partying there in the past in the archives of this bootleg site that almost no one ever reads...

^From 2007 just after I finished building the bar in that apartment. I bought the building in 2005, and I still own it today. I don't really want to own it anymore because I have too much going on and it's a pain in my arse, but the history there is epic. I lived in that apartment for 14.5 years. Wow!

That very apartment is vacant right now, and being in there might not be good for my mental well-being. I don't really know; the memories there are so old now and I'm a different person now. Doug is planning to take the place, and I made a list of things that need to be done earlier today. The apartment is in really good shape overall, and that bar in the photo above still looks great 14 years after I built it. Wow, 14 fucking years! I got so drunk at that bar right there many times. Not all the time, but every now and then we'd do it up good. Sometimes I didn't even make it into my own bed I'd just fall asleep on the floor. What a bunch of crap!

I put it on channel 1928, and Cher sings If I could Turn Back Time. Fitting song for this bootleg update! If I could turn back time I would not have done the bar, but I actually enjoy running the place now so oh well. I do regret losing friends over the place, and my life is pretty fucked right now.

Monday, 11-29-21: Hey cool I'm 46 and way more than halfway to the finish line of life.
I turned 46 years old yesterday, and I don't really care. Kat did get my a very nice card, Doug got me a couple gifts, and Mom and Dad did the same. Jason gave me a call and we talked about deer hunting. He got a doe, and I got nothing. What a bunch of crap! It wasn't a great birthday, it wasn't a terrible birthday, it just was another day in my seemingly crazy life. I did get to see the last half of the Patriots game, and they won their 6th in a row nice job new QB Mac Jones. I also got to play rball against Gavin and Mike, but I would've done that anyway even if it wasn't by birthday.

^A CRAP CAKE FOR MYSELF... What a bunch of crap!

We got our first snow of the season Friday night, a couple inches, and it froze solid after starting to melt on Saturday. I put rock salt and sand down on the front steps, but my awesome wife still fell down them before I got my ass out of bed on my birthday morning. She's all banged up now, but thankfully she didn't have to go to the hospital. It's fucking cold now. What a bunch of crap! Winter finally arrived as we all knew it would.

I didn't even have cake on my birthday, but I don't care... whether or not I care. The pixelated fake crap cake above is good enough. I wonder if that is a real cake? It looks like it was real at some point, probably somewhere in Asia? I'm getting pretty old, and if I live to be 92 I can say I'm halfway to the finish line of my life. However, I'm not living that long F that. Once I had a phase where I thought I could live to be 100, but that was when I was retarded. These days you can't even use words like that, but I just did. I'm sure I used it a lot in the archives of this bootleg site that almost no one will ever read. I still have years' worth of archives that I removed from the Interwebs because some of my writings were so terrible. What a bunch of crap! Maybe one day I will clean them up and repost them, but probably not. I don't even know if I have them anymore anyway.

So winter is here, and we just finally got our second furnace installed and working at the restaurant. It was fired up around noon just as people were getting ready to play bridge in the event room. The room was only about 63 degrees when they started, and they are all old so they get cold easily. At 1600 the room was not yet up to my goal of 72 so that sucks, but it is a very large room so I guess it takes a while to heat? If we can't get it warmer in there then we are fucked. Hard. Hopefully tomorrow it's up to 72 or else we are in trouble. I'll keep it around 68-70, but I'm hoping for 72 just to see that it can be done. Real extreme winter isn't even here yet so we damn well better be able to get to 72 with a 120k BTU nat gas furnace and an outside temp of around 20...

It is 2230, and I can't fucking sleep so I got up 20 minutes ago and ate an edible. I tried to bivouac an hour ago, but after laying there for 40 minutes I just gave up. Fuck my life. I have too much on my mind so if this edible doesn't work then I'll just eat more or stay the hell awake. I enjoy doing the restaurant, something I never thought I'd say when we first opened in March, but everything else has been a struggle lately. My marriage goes well for a while then it does not go so well for a while and the back and forth makes me want to quit everything and just leave. Blowout sale, bye bye Allen Rd, this house, my shares in the restaurant, and my time living in Brewer, Maine. It's a big world I can find someplace else. I don't really want to do that, but the thought has crept in more often lately.

I should read some tax-law updates. I was doing that a couple hours ago and started feeling tired, but then I could not sleep. What a bunch of crap! I really enjoy doing most people's taxes, but reading the laws and doing the trainings is a good way to get tired really fast. Or I could play Majohg Tiles. I can't even friggin spell that what a bunch of crap! I was watching some of the Monday Night Football Game, but I don't give a crap about the Seahawks vs. the RedSkins* so I turned it off around halftime and tried to sleep. The game is still on right now, but I don't want to turn on the TV. Maybe I will get tired shortly? I'm tired now, I just can't "shut my brain off" as Kat would say.

*Oh shit I actually forgot they are not the RedSkins anymore because this world is full of snowflake-people who get offended by everything. Now they are simply called the "Washington Football Team." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Reason #865,251 why we need a giant asteroid to come wipe most of us all out so we can start all over. I don't really even think humans deserve a spot on the roster of life anymore... imagine how fucked the entire galaxy is if we ever perfect space-travel? We will go and wreck everything.

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Tuesday, 11-23-21: License = renewed.
Okay, that was too easy. So easy I expect there to be a catch. My driver's license expires in 5 days, and I have not gone to the DMV to get a new one. Going to the DMV for anything at all = what a bunch of crap! They should have a bar and a bartender at the DMV, some little waiting area where you can get boozed up while you wait. However, most people go to the DMV in a MOTORIZED VEHICLE so nevermind. Promoting drunk driving? Hehehehe. It would be awesome to see a total overhaul of the DMV, though.

I got onto the DMV Interweb, and I just paid $32 and renewed my driver's license for another 6 years; the entire process only took about 5 minutes so it seems too easy. What's the catch? I guess a new one comes in the mail in a couple weeks, and until then I print and use this piece of paper:

^I'm not posting my actual license number and address on the Interweb, but it's probably already on there somewhere. I dunno how I update a photo for the actual license, but who cares I still look close enough. I'm a few pounds lighter and there are a few more grey hairs, but in the photo the difference is small enough to not matter.

I need to register the truck soon; that expired Oct 31. What a bunch of crap! I was contemplating buying a newer truck, but F that prices are outrageous right now and we need our precious... precious money for the bar. We did get a $12,000 refund from a purchase we made in early September so that helps the account balance. A lot. However, we can't get a new walk-in freezer right now so that part sucks. A lot. This is what I got from the vendor last week:

Hi Steve,

I am really sorry to tell you this, but Nor-Lake will not honor your walk-in box order. They have gone up on their pricing and will cancel the order if we don’t accept the new pricing. I attached the updated pricing to this email (a big jump in price). They are telling me another 5-7 weeks on the lead time if you want to continue with the order. We totally understand if you would like a full refund. I have checked with all the other walk-in companies and they are much higher in price.

Here is the message we received from Nor-Lake:

“I regret to inform you that due to unprecedented supply chain disruptions and material cost increases we have to make the difficult decision to decline purchase order noted below. We are experiencing record increases in metal, foam, wood and transportation costs to name a few and remain under a polyurethane force majeure. Unfortunately, these continued constraints have led to a series of very difficult decisions. We sincerely apologize for these issues and strive to minimize the impact on our customers and partners to the best of our ability. If you would like to reorder any of your items that have been cancelled, please reach back out to me and I will provide you with updated quote and lead time.”

I am verry sorry about this.

Attached in the email was a new quote with a price of 17,600. OMG THAT IS A NEARLY $6000 INCREASE IN THE PRICE WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! WE ARE NOT PAYING $6000 MORE TO GET A NEW FREEZER THAT IS BULLSHIT. All I wanna know it why? Why did we pay for it 2.5 months ago and just recently find out we can't get it? If we had known right after we placed the order we could have had extra precious... precious time to shop around for a used one somewhere. Prices are fucked hard now. Thanks a lot, asshole Biden.

It's actually not all Biden's fault. He's just a talking vegetable these days anyway. However, he is our leader and inflation sucks right now. Supply-chain is nearly broken, and Covid will not end. Covid would still be around if we had God himself (who does not even exist) as our president, but at least a good leader would not allow $3.58 gas and all these Covid restrictons to continue.

Getting the $12,000 refund for the freezer was not a bad thing for us because the freezer we have now is still mostly working. We actually can use that precious... precious money to pay for the new furnace that is almost done. The guys came last week to start the install, and today John (Sparkie) wired it so if all goes well tomorrow we can get it working. Maybe? Hopefully! The timing couldn't be better since today we didn't even hit 40, and there are a lot of pretty cold days in the 7-day forecast. No record cold, but plenty of seasonable cold. Winter is essentially here even though we haven't had snow yet. (might be snow Fri night.) Heating our event-room and back storage areas to a comfortable level is all but impossible until we get that second furnace up and running.

I'm going down to the midcoast tomorrow for one final rifle hunt. Jason saw a massive 12-point buck in person during his hunt Sat PM, but he can't shoot another buck. I've seen the trail-cam photos of this deer, and he is massive. Jason plans to put me in a good spot tomorrow, and in a perfect world I'll have some luck. If not oh well I should be able to muzzle-loader hunt a couple more times in early Dec if things don't get ridiculously cold around here. I'm not hunting if it's only 12 degrees, F that.

In a way I hope I don't shoot a deer because I need to be back for Thanksgiving here. I really should be back tomorrow evening in case the bar gets busy and I need to work so I plan to head home ASAP after my hunt. Maybe if I do get a deer it will happen like it did last year and I can have it all dressed out and tagged quickly. Sunset is so early now that I have to end the hunt around 1630. Early sunsets totally fucking suck, but sometimes, rarely, they are a good thing when I want to end a hunt and have ample time in the evening to do other things like... GO TO WORK. If it's busy at the bar I am happy to work, though. We could use a busy day to make up for the revenue we probably won't take in on Thanksgiving day itself.

We decided to be open Thanksgiving day at 1700 for evening karaoke. Some of the staff actually wanted to work, and they think we can get some customers in that night. We'll see. According to the alcohol reps and several other people the night before Thanksgiving is one of the highest alcohol-drinking nights of the year so there is a chance we get very busy tomorrow night. We'll see. In a perfect world I'll shoot that 12-point buck and still be home in time to help the bar do a huge revenue night. How often do things work out perfectly, though? Ever since Covid I'd say never at all...

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Tuesday, 11-16-21: Dad's deer, couple bar photos.
My awesome wife and I did some administrative work today in the front office that is still not 100% done. The fact I never totally finished that office = what a bunch of crap! I suck! It's 99% done, though. Good enough. The office came out great, and we use it a lot. My tax office desk is off to the left, and this desk is the "Mad Kat" office desk. I do use my tax office desk for the bar as well, though.

^Still need to hang the photos and find a home for some of the smaller items. The Mad Kat herself hard at work!

While Kat worked up front I also had to coordinate with the heating guys. We have a second furnace coming, possibly as early as this Friday, so the guys were at the bar today to prep and to make a plan. We decided to add the second furnace to tie into the existing duct work, and we realized the duct chase ends at some ancient turd-tanker of a furnace that is way in the catacombs and stuffed into a tight space. I crawled my narrow ass up into there to help access this:

^We needed to get that exposed in order to cover it up. The heat was just seeping out the end and into The Nothing. What a wasteful bunch of crap! I'm glad Jeff (Fire & Ice) noticed that because I hadn't thought of it at all. I used an old piece of 2" foam-board to close it off, and now both the restaurant and the event room should hold heat a little better. Adding the second furnace should also make a HUGE difference. Enough to get us comfortable through the worst of winter? Maybe. Hopefully! The new system will be expensive, hopefully the last big-ticket purchase we need to make for a long time.

^That duct-chase goes a very long way. Probably 150 feet. It looks like something you'd see the good guys in a movie going into to make a great escape while bad guys are below with machine guns randomly shooting up into the ceiling hehe. That tumor-looking bulge off to the right in the foreground is insulation that I stuffed into a non-usable 10" offshoot. We will repurpose that once the heating remodel is done.

Dad got his deer last Friday, a 4-pointer. I was finishing up my hunt at Jason's new property when he called me at 0755. He wasn't sure if he made a good shot, but of course he did right through the heart. It's not good seeing how much Dad struggles just to hunt these days. He needs Jason or I to be around so he has help because he can't shoot a deer and get it dressed out and to the tagging station/butcher by himself. I was happy to help, and now maybe it's my turn! I plan to hunt Thursday again, and in a perfect world I'd hunt both in the morning and in the evening. I might not make the morning hunt, but Jason plans to get off work early so we can hunt together in the afternoon.

^Another deer taken right in their back woods. Dad keeps track, and I he told me that is deer #90 since 2002. Wow! I don't know what my tally is, but definitely lower than Dad and Jason and lower by a lot. I don't care as much as they do. I enjoy it, but it's never atop my priority list like it is for them. Dad also includes his friend, Mike, in that tally. Still a lot of deer harvested among 4 guys in 20 years.

I gutted him out while Dad hobbled back up to the house to get situated. Mike actually showed up to help get him out, and it was easy with Dad's ATV and sled. No real dragging required! Dad almost couldn't get him into the butcher so that is a very real concern for when and if I shoot a deer. I can butcher one myself, I've done it many times, but I don't want to do it this year because it takes up a lot of precious... precious time. I'd rather throw a local butcher $100-$150 (depending on size of the deer) to do it for me. Cutting up a mid-sized deer takes me literally 8 full hours including setup and final cleanup. Griding the meat for burger, etc.

The reason why the butchers are turing people away, at least in the midcoast, is the fact that most hunters can shoot 4 deer this season. OMG. There are more deer than ever down there thanks to some easier winters and overall changing climate. More deer are getting harvested, and the butcher shops can only handle a finite number of deer. The butchers are all seasonal locals who don't have huge operations. Mostly guys who use their garages and stuff like that. I definitely am NOT shooting 4 deer this season, F that. I might not even shoot one. What a bunch of crap!

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Tuesday, 11-09-21: Yard work mostly done.
We had sunshine and low 60s for weather today, light wind. For early November that is awesome! I went for a jog again, same as yesterday, but I had to stop and walk some because my cardio-conditioning is about a D. What a bunch of crap! I'll end up getting less exercise this year than I have in well over a decade. However, I have gotten at least some exercise every day so far this month including the last four days of some cardio. Racquetball both Sat and Sun, and a pathetic 2-mile jog yesterday and today. Good enough.

I actually also had to do some mowing today. For November that is incredibly rare if not unprecedented. One final mow at Allen Rd, one final side-yard mow at the house after I raked away the last of the leaves. I've been working around the house for a bit here and there over the past couple weeks, and things are mostly done now. Wood stacked and staged, gutters cleaned, leaves removed, etc. I enjoy doint the yard-work to a point because the dogs can go outside and play as well.

Hey great, Pet Shop Boys West End Girls. Great song and if you disagree with me then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more. My life sucks. Channel 1928 does not suck, though. However, it looks different I guess someone decided to change the graphics around. Still great music from the 80s so I'm cool with it.

If the weather wasn't so great over the past two days I would have stayed down at the bar longer and worked on this total shit-show:

^That is the very back area of our very large 8400 square-feet of rented commercial space. I really need a couple more shelves and organization, but I keep fucking it away by doing things that I want to do like exercise and deer hunt. I could work 60-80 hours a week to finish it, but fuck that I am sick of working that much it sucks and it is ruining my entire life. I'll get to the point soon where the only two good things I appreciate about our bar is all the liquor and the big walk-in freezer. Makes it easy to get boozed up and go check out...

Whitney Houston I wanna Dance with Somebody. Great song! Her slow songs are a bunch of crap, every single one of them. However, she does have a couple catchy faster songs. In general the only good slower songs are power-ballads from the hair rockers. Def Leppard Hysteria, Poison Every Rose Has Its Thorn, etc.

I think I'll post a couple pictures of the bar and then be too drunk to continue. I didn't plan to get drunk tonight, but my life is ten pounds of shit stuffed into a five-pound bag so it happened. I'm not wasted yet, I don't want to get wasted, but I don't want to quit drinking yet either.

^Metaphor for my life. What a bunch of crap!

These photos have been in my collection for a while, but I never make time to post them...

^I see that and I think wow, what an awesome bar we all created. Business has been better lately, too. The TV and radio ads probably help, but so does the positive word-of-mouth. This negative Google review definitely does NOT help, though:

"Rude service and a total dive bar. The drinks are watered down and the people are ignorant and wanna fight! Don't go there!!!"

OMG HEY ASSHOLE WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE CREEPY-PETE WE HAVE HAD TO TOSS YOU A FEW TIMES BECAUSE YOU MAKE EVERYONE UNCOMFORTABLE AND ONCE WHEN IT WAS JESTER'S YOU PAID $40 FOR MY WIFE'S SHOES SO YOU COULD DRUNKENLY GO SNIFF THEM OMG WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

That is a totally true story, he really did but Kat's shoes hehehe.

Overall we have a 4.5-star average out of 93 Google reviews so I guess that is ok. Maybe? Hopefully!

^Nice event-room photo that Kat took last month. We have been getting more interest in the event-room, and I have to spend precious... precious time quoting prices for people who want to use the room and package pricing for people who want both the room and food.

^All I wanna know is why? Why would anyone order that terrible-looking drink? The frigging Bloody Mary drinks on Sunday for brunch are popular so great, but you'll never catch my ass drinking one. I love to drink, but not Bloody Marys and not on a Sunday at 0900. I'd rather drink in the evening, especially when I realize how much my life sucks like tonight, and then go pass out. If I got drunk before noon what would happen to the rest of my day?

^Jeremy and I day-drinking and epic-failing in the 2009 Kenduskeag Stream Canoe Race hehehe. I got so drunk during a couple of those races that I don't really even remember finishing. Once we came in last place. What a bunch of crap! Too drunk and too many piss-breaks. I really don't know how we didn't get kicked out of the race..

James Brown, Living in America. Great song featured in Rocky IV. Right before Apollo Creed died. If he dies, he dies. Fuck you, evil Russian Drago. When I was a kid I never got into the Rocky movies, Rambo was more my thing, but now as an adult I have come to realize how incredible the Rocky franchise is. The first Rocky movie is a 10, a masterpiece in cinema, but don't worry I still love Rambo. Obviously! First Blood is also a masterpiece in cinama. Great, underrated movie about a man just trying to get by in a post-Vietnam-war era. Just writing about it makes me want to watch both movies right now. However, I have other shit to do.

Expose, another great 80s song on channel 1928, Seasons Change. Unfortunately this season is about to change and become winter instead of fall. What a bunch of crap! I used to dread winter, I still do, but I really appreciate fall now. In the fall there is football, plenty of good weather (moreso in Sept/Oct), and deer hunting. I used to love summer the most, but F that hanging out in 90-degree weather and screw you to the nights that don't get below 70. No A/C = no sleep. I used to look forward to blueberry raking in summer, but that has passed me by and this year raking was not enjoyable. Is it because I am too old or is it because my life is a fucking mess? Probably a mix of both. What a bunch of crap!

I drank a shot of Dr. Mcgillicutty and don't feel cured so this brand of alcohol = false advertising. I started with coffee brandy and milk, had some Bud Light Strawberrita, and now this Dr. I am not blackout drunk, but I feel like it's hitting me about right. I don't want to have a hangover tomorrow, but I don't want to quit drinking either so I will have more. I need to fix my shit and the booze does help. It's temporary, but it's right in the moment. I don't really drink that much anymore anyway, especaially compared to how much I could drink a decade ago.

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Thursday, 11-04-21: I should deer hunt more.
I took most of Tuesday off from work (only had to do a few small things earlier in the day) to drive down to Warren to deer hunt. In a perfect world I would have stayed overnight to hunt yesterday also, but I just wanted to rifle hunt with my 30.06 then GTFO. I didn't really want to visit with Mom and Dad because eventually the conversation would have turned to Doug, and that is a topic I don't want to get into with them right now.

Last month Mom bought Doug a big fridge for his in-law apt here at our house. She called me the day before to day she was coming up to buy him a big fridge so I told her no we don't want a big fridge up there because he's not living here forever. I didn't even get a chance to visit with her when she did come up because I was trying to get our roof done and I had a small window of time where the weather was great and where I didn't have to work at the restaurant.

I was up on the roof, driveway side, when Mom got back from shopping with Doug. There was no big fridge with them so I figured they gave up on the idea. I would have been fine with a mini-fridge, even something a little bigger and better than the one up there now, but I didn't want a full-sized fridge up there.

About a week after Mom's visit I was getting ready to go down to the bar to work, and I had shit to do and a certain time I needed to be there. Unfortunately at about 0845 a Best Buy delivery van rolled in and off came a pretty big fridge. Not a huge fridge, but big enough to be as tall as my wife and big enough to barely fit up there stairs. Needless to say I was NOT happy. I couldn't even leave for work because the dogs were freaking out and the delivery people were in my way. What a bunch of crap! Doug blamed Mom and said she bought it for him anyway despite knowing I said NO. I blamed him for being selfish, it ended quite badly. I called Mom that night and reamed her out hard. She thought it was no big deal, and I couldn't make her understand that it's our frigging house not theirs. She asked if I was jealous and things went from bad to worse when I told her the absolute truth. I have nothing to be jealous of at all. I told her I have money in the bank and a hot wife all good on my end. I've never been jealous anyway. Jealousy uses up too much emotional energy, and I don't have enough of that to spare even on good days.

So the conversation with Mom went very badly, and in the end I just hung up on her and didn't even text or call her or Dad for close to a couple weeks. What a bunch of crap! I guess it was a dick move by me to not even talk to Dad since his health sucks, but often talking to him also requires talking to Mom and I just didn't want to talk to her.

Thankfully I did have a good, BRIEF visit two days ago. I helped Dad trim some branches around his badass hunting blind out back before I went off to do my own hunt on Jason's new land down at the end of the Patterson Mill Rd. I love being down there, it's a great spot, and it's also the same land where he shot this huge buck with his crossbow last month:

Jason has some wonderful land to hunt on now, and he is gracious enough to let me hunt on it whenever I want. I should help him scout and manage the land more, but there is never enough precious... precious time. I want to rifle hunt a few more times so I plan to go down again next week and to *hopefully* spend an overnight. I'll do a few small repairs and carpentry for Mom and Dad when I'm down there to help them out.

Part of my feels like I should apologize to Mom for yelling at her on the phone, but then the other part of me doesn't think I owe her an apology at all and in fact she should apologize to me. I don't give a shit what she buys for Doug, not my business, but when I ask her not to do something that affects my own house and she does it anyway then how am I in the wrong? When I yelled at her I didn't call her names or use really offensive language so I guess no apology needed on my end.

I gotta work tonight 1700-close so bedtime is around 0200. I have some free time before I head in so I should shoot my bow in case I do make time to bowhunt up here next week. I won't bowhunt this week, F that, but maybe I can go once or twice up here before the season ends. Maybe? Hopefully!