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"I need to install a het pump for my mom this coming weekend." - Gavin
"Wait, you know how to install a heat pump?" - Me
"Yeah I watched a YouTube video on how to do it." - Gavin
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" - Me

Monday, 7-29-24: Hey cool I didn't have to go.
Kat is getting her right knee replaced Wednesday morning, and we expect it will be a difficult recovery since she's already had a half dozen other surgeries on that same knee including a partial replacement many years ago. She's working hard to get as much done as possible before she has to stay home and recover, and this evening was doing Dillon's birthday about 1.5 weeks early since she can't really do it on his actual birthday this year. Had a nice meal, all good (once Kat figured out how to use the Insta-Pot hehe.) but they bought my ass a movie ticket to go see Deadpool and Wolverine with them. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE MOVIES TONIGHT!

Thankfully Katherine only bought tickets for Kat, her friend Via, and I so when Dillon said he really wanted to go that was an easy decision. Have my ticket happy birthday pal now I can stay home and watch the Red Sox! I've been doing that and enjoying every minute of it as well. 14-3 Sox going into the 7th now = game pretty much over time to listen to channel 1928 and write my useless thoughts to almost no one at all.

The movie looks pretty good and if I wasn't always so friggin' busy I would have wanted to go. If Dillon hadn't wanted to go I'd be there now and probably enjoying the movie, but this is better for me just to have a little time by myself, something I don't get enough of these days. Hopefully Kat isn't mad at me for not going, but she probably will be mad. What a bunch of crap! Oh well if she is because this is how I feel right now:

I would care if I caused a legit reason for her to be mad, but not if she's mad about my not going to a movie so her own son could go in my place. However, she's a female so getting mad every now and then is just baked into her essense.

She was mad at me last Friday for coming down to the bar to have a beer so I just responded by leaving (after I finished the beer of course!) getting pissed at her, writing about how I should divorce her on this bootleg site, and drinking even more at home while she finished her work shift. What a bunch of crap!

That Friday episode was totally uncool of her and I'm still salty about it. I took over the last 4 hours of the Thursday night shift for her and we spent a good chunk of the day Wednesday together so it's not like I'm totally blowing her off to go do my own thing.

I'm not sure how life will unfold after Kat does get home from her knee surgery, but in two days I'll start to find out. She'll be cooped up in the house a lot so I'll spend as much time with her as I can and we'll watch some TV series like the new Cobra Kai (Karate Kid sequel, series, Netflix) and House of the Dragon II (Game of Thrones prequel on HBO) However, I'll also have to be at work a lot since we had a new server quit and since Katherine seems to on a path out the door if she does apply for a vacant bank job and get hired. I don't mind working extra while Kat recovers, but not at her expense where she's stuck home all the time and struggling to get about for bathroom breaks, food, etc. Plus it would be really lonely for her just stuck at home by herself for too long.

So the balance-point between too much work and abandoning my wife at home and not enough work and staying home with her will be a struggle. Not enough hours at work and that place will go to shit in a hurry. Dan and Katherine are supposed to be stepping up, but Katherine was working on her resume earlier and Dan is distracted due to buying that house in Bangor. Dan couldn't even come to Dillon's birthday party dinner because he has a sewer-line plug. What a bunch of crap! Kat called me when I was finishing Jason's taxes wanting me to run right over to Bangor, but once I talked to Dan and found out brown-ish water was coming UP from the shower and another floor drain I knew there was nothing I can do. I just hope they don't need a new sewer line or else they're pwned. We spent $8000 having our own sewer line replaced a couple years ago and I know they can't afford that. Hell, at the time we couldn't afford it either what a bunch of crap!

Kat has other DJs on staff lined up to run the karaoke without her, but it won't be the same. If sales drop off we're cooked and will have no choice but to either close or try to sell. I think sales would be good this fall, but if Kat is out a long time and the place is still without her much into the fall I don't think it will be viable. Sales this month haven't been great and it will be our worst month of the year for sales, but I knew that was coming and sales are actually going to end a lot better than last year in July. August needs to be a good month, at least not a money-loser, or we're really in trouble.

I'd still like to sell the place, but now isn't the right time I want to see if we can keep it together for Kat so when she's better she has a place of work to actually return to that's not a total shit-show. Maybe we can pull that off? Hopefully!

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Friday, 7-26-24: WHAT A BITCH ARE YOU SERIOUS?!.
My wife, see you in divorce court you beotch. She treated me like a total asshole tonight so F that I'll just haul on her ass and be single. Think I'm joking? I am NOT co-dependent and being single seems like it would be totally awesome so let's get it done. I've already tried to divorce her ass a few times over the past decade, but she fights and convinces me to stick around. I gotta admit when it's good it's great, but tonight all I wanna know is why? Why did she have to treat me like I'm a turd in the toilet-bowl? Or like this:

I don't need this bullshit! She wanted to go party Wednesday night late-night, and I didn't. Guess how she handled that when she got home from work? If you guessed she treated me like I'm a piece of shit then you win. However, I lose and I had to eat an edible, stay awake longer, and have more booze just so I didn't have to deal with her ass. We hung out most of the day that day so it's not like I totally avoided her just to do my own thing. Reason #231,098 why life life fuckin SUCKS.

Pet Shop Boys He Dreamed of Machines. I gotta listen to 80s music to cheer me up because, once again, everything fuckin' sucks thanks to my beotch wife who deserves a divorce. The way she treated me tongiht waa 100% unacceptable, but in a weird way it's a win beacause I need this so I can be sure of my decision to kick her to the curb and go be me all by myself. I can deer hunt, I can re-learn how to play AOEII, and I can fix my shit. Maybe? Hopefully!

^I miss my old life where there were no cats and I could play AOE II and just do what I want. It's not tenable in the long-term, but in the short-terms it's what I need in order to save my soul. I haven't played AOE II in a decade what a bunch of crap!

The way I got treated by my wife tonight seriously makes me want to haul on her ass. I think I will, but not for a while because she's getting a knee replacement next Wednesday so I'll help her through that then go do something else that does not include her again, ever. I shouldn't upload this to the Interweb, but fuck it I deserve better gods damn it.

RESPECT MY AUTHORITAI OR ELSE I WILL JUST LEAVE1

I told Kat a couple weeks ago that everything sucks and I want to part ways after she recovers from her knee surgery and that conversation was a shit-show. I meant it at the time, we sort-of fied out shit for a while, but after tonight it's obvious to me that I need to get a divorce and be single again. I don't even want or have another chick on the side either. F that! I'd love to have no one, be single and just play old Nintendo games, watch the Red Sox, go hunting with Dad before he dies, and not have to worry about my selfish bitch wife along the way.

I give you yesterday for example. I went down the the ol' homestead for Hawke's 5th birthday, it was a fantastic visit, and when I got home I went to work to replace my wife who had worked 12-14 hours already that day. Did I have to do that? Nope! However, it was the right thing to do so i did it and this is how I get treated?

Oh cool, Crowded House Don't Dream It's Over. IT IS OVER! I love this song because it's great. For some odd reason I was listening to this as I was literally dying last year. I had a bad infecton that was making lines go up my arm. It seemed like a death sentence and I didn't care... whether or not I cared. Bring on death it happens to us all. Unfortuately my wife kinda forced me to go to the ER for an IV and if fixed my shit. I think it was October. Last year? I dunno because everything FUCKIN SUCKS.

I should have let the infection kill my ass because I'm done.

Youtube plays more Pet Shop Boys this time it's Suburbia. It makes me sad that I have to haul on my wife, but tonight sealed the deal because I'm NOT tolerating that shit. I can go get a job working in Augusta and/or for Jason, I have options, and doing this crap is not my option that works. No way, no how.

I'm really fuckin' drunk and it's great. I thought I mght have to work tonight, but Katie is running the shit-show so I'm good. I worked all gods damned afternoon so that's good enough. Right? I came home, I went for a jog in the eveing, it waa a great jog and it reminded me of times forever ago when I'd get off work at FedEx and play AOEII, and then since work wasn't busy I watched a great game where the Red Sox beat the Yankees 9-7. Sox had a 4-3 lead, they coughed up the lead in the 7th when Judge crushed a huge HR, and then the Sox took back the lead and won. Oh Jesus, hell ya!

I'm drinking an Angry Orchard becuase I'm angy. How weird is that? It's what we had on-hand and straight liquor seemed like a bad idea. I was all-good until my beotch wife told me not to touch her when I was at the bar so she can have fun being single agian when I HAUL ON HER ASS!

Perfect song plays now because it fits:

Pet Shop Boys What Have I Done (To Deserve This?)

MY LIFE FUCKIN SUCKS AND I WANT TO LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DO SOMETHING ELSE. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

I don't even want to be single so I can pokerize other chicks. I just want to be single so I can have some peace and quiet. Is that too much to ask gods damn it?

I should divorce Kat, sell the house, sell the restaurant, and move away. I might just do that, too.

Okay I am back and I got even more drunk and it's 0107. How can I rack out without my beotch wife? I don't want to go to bed now, but she'll be home soon and I don't want to bivouac with her bitch-ass. I gots Tina Tuner Thunderdone playing and if you don't like this song then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more. THIS SONG RULES! I am too drunk to rite more. I wouled have not gotten this drun,, but my wife treated me like shit so fuck her for that. She can fined a new husbald becuse I QUIT.

I need more Tom Petty-looking guy in an airplane flying around in Mad Max Beyine Thunderdone. \

Oh awesome Starship Sara. It's a totally 100% beautiful song. Some peolpe online seem to hate it, but F them it's fantastic. It remidnes me of when I ddin't rail at file so mushc. Oh by the way I am wrecheked, tottally trashed, so I can't write here amymore Wat a bunh of crap!

I had a good thing going in 1999 and then it went to shit becaue I fucked ut up. Game overl man. gama over. I ot really drunk and am trying t rewing and find it but no time is a good time for Sarah,Sarah stomr operate in your eyse, No time is a good tie got foodbye,

I gotta either keep drinking and pretend I don't notice or go to bed now so don't have to look at my beotch wife. WHAT A BUNNCH OF CRAP!

This is a beautiful song. With Fire and Ice the Dream Win't come true. Soud effects. Sarah, Sarah, no time is a good time for Sarah Sarh srotms operatn in your eyse Sarat no tie is a good tie for goodybbye let's play Metriod. That last parts isn't in the wong but I am UCKED up and hate my shit life nad the best time in my life was preobanly 20 years ago thsi SUKSN THE EKDN

It's sad I want my bitch wife to get hoe and rack out before me so I don;t have to deal ith he. I can see her o caperam but she's not hoe left htis scks A lot I failed. A lot The end. fnfn.. 1980s RULES>!

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Wednesday, 7-24-24: Surgery, my one and only carpentry job in 2024? Oh, a kid in a trash can hehe.
My awesome wife who occasionally pisses me off (not so much lately hehehe) is having her right knee replaced in less than one week. Wednesday next week around this time I'll be with her as she's *hopefully* home and recovering. The surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday the 31st in the morning. After that a lot will change, especially at work, because she's the heart and soul of the place and she won't be able to be there for quite some time. The doc says this will be a difficult surgery since that knee has been worked on before and parts have to be removed before new parts can get installed. She'll be boinic!

I shouldn't joke around because it's really awful. She's not even 50 years old and will have new knees in both knees, and it will be very painful and arduous for her. I really hope things go well and she can be ahead of schedule as far as recovery. It could be months before she can go back to work again. What a bunch of crap! Obviously that will be a financial strain, but more importantly I want her to be okay. At times (even recently) I've wanted to haul on her and reboot my entire life, but I still love her and want her to be well.

When my knees and/or body gives out what will I do? I'm lucky because I'm ok still, but that will change as I age up towards eventual body-failer. Right now I think I'd just say "fuck it", drink a lot, and go die. Depends on how bad off I am I guess. With no health insurance at all despite being an honorably-discharged Navy veteran I think the checking-out option would be a lot better than the "Spend a shitload of money" option that I currently don't even have since having a lot of money is a pipe-dream. What a bunch of crap!

I am NOT convinved we can keep the restaurant afloat without Kat. We went to a place that went out of business today, and that was a sad thing to see. Queen City Cinema Club in Bangor couldn't make a go of it so we stopped in to buy some stuff that was on sale. Nothing huge, some to-go containers, kitchen containers, small stuff. I taked a little with the management there and it seems they put in the work but it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe they also had a shit landlord like we do? That seemed to be the case, but after only a couple minutes of taking I wouldn't post that as fact. A bad landlord surely does make it harder to succeed as we know.

I still don't really want to do the restaurant, but I will do what I can to keep it going until Kat is well enough to get back to it. Even after that I plan to help as much as I can so we don't lose the place. Selling would be great, but that's not a thing we are sure we can even do. I don't want our failed restaurant/bar to be a giant yard sale for a few days if we do close, but who knows? Sales last week were great for this time of year, but so far this week they're lackluster. However the Bangor State Fair is in town now so that always hurts our sales. Plus there are A LOT of Waterfront Concerts in the next couple weeks.

Thaanfully but maybe not thankfully we have two HUGE events this weekends. A 100-person "Celebration of Life" Friday during the day will bring in some much-needed precious... precious revenue. Another huge Saturday daytime event will help and we also have a smaller Sat night event. Forecast is great, fair in town, more Waterfront Concerts, so those events might carry us through to a halfway respectable week of sales. Maybe? Hopefully!

Last week I finished what might be my only paid carpentry project of 2024. Mike's front steps:

It wasn't a huge job, but it did take a total of 13.5 hours including getting supplies there, removing the old steps, the dump-run, etc. I am happy with the final product and it looks great. I enjoyed doing it and I got a little more tan. Too bad it was so fuckin' hot, though. I was soaked in sweat working on that thing a couple weeks ago and I didn't even bother with it some of the days due to the extreme heat. Thankfully the heat broke and it hasn't been so bad over the past few days. More heat next week, though...

The steps and little porch wouldn't have taken as long had there been a ledger-board attached to the house. I could have done one, but I would have had to remove a lot of siding and there goes precious... precious time. So I just built it as a free-standing structure separate from the house, same as what was there before. However, I couldn't use what was there before as much of a template because the installer(s) of the previous one did a terrible job. What a bunch of crap! Pretty sure no one used a level at all because it was all-bad and epic failer.

I gotta to down to the midcoast tomorrow, my last trip that way for several weeks, for Hawke's 5th birthday. After that we get decimated at work all weekend thanks to being short-staffed. What a bunch of crap! This weekend will suck. A lot. Beautiful weather and I'll barely be able to enjoy any of it. Maybe a quick jog if my friggin' left calf doesn't cramp up again. That's been a bother lately here and there. I have a mild strain again, but it didn't bother me today playing two EPIC games of racquetball against Gavin. They were absolutely fantastic games, and two games in over one hour of playing is really something. Usually we can do 3 or 4 but it was a war today. We had one series of volleys in game 2 that I would pay money for a video of. Sadly no video exists, but Gavin was diving all over the place, I was diving all over the place, and we were totally exhausted and still played 20 more minutes haahahaha. Gavin made some truly amazing plays to keep that thing going. He won game 1, I won game 2, but I told him the score in game 2 didn't even matter because we were both so tired. It was great and I'm glad we played!

In a perfect world I'd play rball once every 5 days or so (too much and I get worn down and/or get tennis elbow) but my trash-can life doesn't allow for that. The last time we played was 10 days ago. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! Why didn't I play more? Too much work gods damn it. I lose probably 75% of the time, but I really enjoy going to play. We were both wasted like DOc-J and 8-Ball from Full Metal Jacket after we played today. I feel better now, but still worn out. I should eat more cookies hehehe.

I was gonna stack some wood for Mom and Dad tomorrow, but it's been a rainy couple days and Dad doesn't want to put it all away in their cellar wet so nevermind. I told them I can't help until September because I'll be busy and Kat will be getting a new knee and she'll need my help so we'll see how it goes. They are getting a new propane heating ssystem installed next month so they don't have to use wood so much. Their days of going up and down the cellar stairs for wood are numbered, and it makes me sad writing that but it's true. No one can beat time. Ever.

Speaking of time, Biden dropped out of the presidential race and VP Harris is taking his place as the candidate for 2025 and beyond. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SHE FUCKIN' SUCKS. She makes Biden and Obama look like saints. Biden was basically forced out due to being mostly mentally checked out from everything in life. He has one foot on a banana peel and one foot in the grave, and he's seemingly a bad person so goodbye. Too bad we're stuck with him as president until next winter unless he kicks the can for good before then. More on that in future bootleg updates that no one will ever read...

I didn't have to work too many hours today so that was great. We were going to do something fun outside until the weather epic failered. Rain, drizzle, crap. Oh well, not gonna complain because 72 degrees > 92 degrees. So we stuck around town, did some shopping, had a nice lunch, put the grandkiddo in a trash can because why not?

^I edited out his face to stay compliant with local laws hehehe. Naw just kidding but I didn't want his parents getting mad if I did put his face on the Interweb. No one really comes here, but one never knows... He's a good kid, 2.75-years old, and for the record that is a brand new, presumably clean trash can. Plus he was having a blast so why not? It's a huge trash can he looks so tiny in there!

Okay back so suck-city for my worthless life. Kat wanted to go out and party I guess, but F that I didn't want to go anywhere. She just got home from work all pissed off at me for not wanting to go. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! HAVING A WIFE SUCKS WHEN CAN I JUST BE SINGLE AGAIN AND BE ALL BY MYSELF WITH NO ONE AT ALL? I would enjoy going out from time to time, but WE WORK AT A FUCKIN' KARAOKE BAR WE WORK EVERY DAY NO DAYS OFF WE CONSTANTLY SEE PEOPLE SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY ASS WANTING TO STAY AT HOME?! Plus going out costs precious... precious money and we need to be cheap, especially since we did already drop $50 on lunch earlier today plus we gotta be back at work in the morning because there are always things to do and it's 2300 now and past taps. Gods damn it!

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Wednesday, 7-17-24: Keeping it... for now. Oh, stupid ridiculous dew point.
Kat and I talked at length both Sunday PM and Monday, and we're back on the same page for now. I definitely, 100%, want to sell the restaurant/bar. However, she still loves doing it so what's the harm in keeping it going a bit longer? Either way I'm off the schedule come roughly rifle deer-hunting season. I'll help when I can ON MY OWN TERMS if that is a viable option. If not I'll be at another job somewhere so we can actually pay our bills. She agrees if things start to go sideways we need to try to sell ASAP.

I'm glad my wife still enjoys doing the restaurant because I don't. At times it's a good gig, but that feeling is fleeting. If I can stay focused on a narrow area of responsibility then great, but I end up scattered all over the map and nothing is ever 100% done. What a bunch of crap! My desk right now is all covered in paperwork that I need to deal with tomorrow, if I can. Today was a textbook example of what's wrong with my bootleg life. I started off going to Deno's to work on his front steps that should have been done last week. I spent close to 3 hours on that before it got too hot and I had other things to do. Then it was off to the restaurant to do janitorial work for a while. I also had two event-room meetings, emails to respond to, payroll to process, and a sink faucet to repair. The faucet repair would have been done until a tailpiece broke. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

In the very recent past I would have been totally overwhelmed with the amount of things I had to do today, but I didn't let myself flip out and try to quit my entire world for the 100th time this year. I came close, but I kept my shit together. It's also Katherine's birthday so we had to do her dinner before trivia. We did end up just closing yesterday due to the heat and today was just as hot but we opened anyway and I'm glad we did because we've had a GREAT day of sales. Trivia was fantastic. It's a bit too hot, but there are two things we can do about that: nothing and like it.

We had a staff meeting Monday where we laid options on the line: make some changes to how we operate or close/sell this fall. Our payroll is embarassing as a percentage of our sales and we have too much product waste. Thankfully we've proven that we can pull it off and over the past few days we've been killing it. I truly believe we have the best staff we've ever had. It's not perfect, but we have a lot of great people. We had a family come today who are tourists on vacation here and they said they came due to our great Google reviews. We also got a lot of new people over the weekend as well. A LOT. Oh Jesus, hell ya!

We closed yesterday and sales today alone are better than they were both Tues and Wed combined last week and last year combined as well hahahaha. I wish we could just close Monday and Tuesday, but I think that's a sign we're failing because no restaurant is closed two days a week. Right?

This fuckin' heat is ridiculous and is a serious turd in the punch-bowl of my mid-summer life. It's too hot to go for a jog most days lately. What a bunch of crap! Here is the dew point at 2200, taps taps lights out in a former life:

^OMG ALL I WANNA KNOW IS WHY? WHY DID MAINE BECOME THE TROPICS ALL OF THE SUDDEN?! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! A dew point of 70+ is seriously tropical and incredibly humid. Any dew point of 60+ around here is considered humid and we've non-stop had that since roughly July 4. It's really hard to sleep with no AC because it barely cools off. So far in our area it's the warmest summer since the 1930s. Epic failer! Dew point of 70+ all night = pwned and we've had a bunch of those lately.

Thanfully tonight a front comes through and we get relief. Temps still in the 80s but dew points back into the 50s. I really believe all this heat has cost us some business as well as what will surely be a very high electric bill trying to run the heat pumps to cool the place off. IT FUCKIN' SUCKS. I told Kat I'm already looking forward to winter how sad is that?!

Other than Mike's front steps I've been picking away at some things at the restaurant as time permits. I got a new urinal installed in the event room last week with Bruce's help installing the thing:

^I ripped out the old one as well as the old, moldy sheetrock and I installed 1/2" ply and FRP. Bruce did the urinal and I did the trim work:

^Looks great! The old one was decades old and I took a piss in it many times when I'd go to IWE shows in 2008-2009, etc. This is what I truly belong doing, but I don't know if that will ever be a reality. Do taxes in the winter and hit that hard then do some carpentry stuff and misc side-jobs the rest of the year. I'm still doing taxes now hahahaha! Just finished a tax return Monday for a July 15th deadline for Knox County. We had HUGE storms tear up the state last year and early this year so the deadlines were all over the place based on your county in the state. Here in Penobscot the deadline was June 17. Up north away from the coast it was April. Knox county where I grew up and have a few clients was July 15. OMG RIDICULOUS!

I like doing taxes and some carpentry. I don't like being a manager at the restaurant. I'm going to focus on doing things I like so I can survive. Seems reasonable, right? Maybe? Hopefully!

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Sunday, 7-14-24: $400 and Trump got shot OMG.
The restaurant that I don't want to own anymore ate up most of my precious... precious time yesterday so I was oblivious to the headline news of the day, an assasination attempt on former president and leading Republican candidate Donald Trump. Thankfully he wasn't killed or severely injured, but he's a fuckin' badass for the aftermath and I need to find a picture of it...

^FUCK YEAH "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT" LIKE A BOSS!

A bullet clipped his ear, got him bloody, someone died, it was a shit-show, and Trump was still trying to rally the crowd. I want him as the boss of America, please. He's a dick with all kinds of personal flaws, but that was awesome and shows the man has brass balls. He has my vote.

American politics this year has been a circus. It's incredibly entertaining, but it's a bunch of crap all rolled up into one. These past couple months have especially been fun to follow with the Democrats all in-fighting over whether or not Biden needs to drop out of the race.

So I was the event-room bartender for both Friday night and yesterday. I made $400 in tips over the two days. GREAT! It's about time I actually made a little money from that place, and I should do it more. However, we're probably going to sell the place so nevermind. I'm not a real bartender and I had a sign up that said there was a limited menu of bottled beers, shots, and simple cocktails. I sent people to the front bar for fancy stuff that I don't know how to make. Long Island Iced Tea? Nope, go out front. Titos and cranberry? Yup let's effin' go. It worked out well enough and I was able to take care of most people. On Friday night a guy wanted 6 "Green Tea" shots, I said I'm not a real bartender, he said he would rather have me do it so he told me the ingredients and I accidentally made all 6 perfectly so that was awesome.

Yestrday was a wedding that I thought was going to be totally ghetto, but it worked out well enough. Within the first 5 minutes, before the ceremony itself, a guy came over and was talking to me. He was friendly enough, bride's side of the family, and he told me she "hitched her wagon to the wrong horse." HAHAHAHAAHAHA! He said the groom was fairly worthless, couldn't keep a job, and was stuck in video-game-land. It's funny because I met the groom and he was talking about how much he loves video games. HAHAHAHAHA

Later on in the afternoon/early evening (1500-2100 event) some person came up to my bar whom I thought was a guy. Nope, it was a chick who had a couple drinks in her but wasn't drunk enough to be shut off just yet. She was hitting on me in a ridiculous way so I had to point out my wife who was the DJ and in the same room. Then this chick went over to Kat and was telling Kat how she wanted me. Shortly thereafter this chick came back to the bar to tell me she was probably going to fuck some older guy who was tall and who must have a big dick because he was tall. AHAHAHAHAHA! I said "Isn't that your family at that table?!" but the one tall guy was just a family friend, or so she said...

The place was packed last night on the restaurant/bar side so I stayed to help some; I got home a bit before midnight. We had our best single day of July sales, ever so that was great. Sadly we had TERRIBLE sales Tuesday through Thursday. Tuesday we only did a little over $500 for the day. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! That's a fuckin' joke. Plus it's been stupid-hot so our systems are greatly struggling just to keep up. The two ice machines can't make ice fast enough since it's 95 degrees in the back hall area. All 4 heat pumps are on constantly so the next electric bill is going to suck. A lot.

The place is on a path to failure if we don't change things up, I'm burned out and don't want to be there anymore, but Kat does so that's just sad. I met with the business brokers on Friday regaring the valuation of the place, we have a number I can live with and that's actually a bit higher than I expected it to be, and they asked me "On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being you love doing this and 10 being you hate it?" My response was immediate, no hesitation, a 10. I should have said 11, though. What a bunch of crap!

I'M TRYING TO QUIT MY OWN BUSINESS AHAHAHAHAAHA.

Oh wait, it's not really funny. Might as well laugh about it because moping around sucks even more, and I already do plenty of that.

This extreme heat has really hurt things this month, and it makes my poison ivy that I still friggin' have on half my bootleg body itch still because I sweat so much. It's healing, but if not for this bigtime heat I think it would be done by now. I'm ready for winter already gods damn it!

We're probably not even going to open Tuesday with a forecasted heat index of close to 100. All we do is lose money on Tuesdays anyway so closing for the day is a win.

It has been a decent day so far today. It's 90 outside, but the dew point is "only" in the 60s instead of the 70s where it's been the last 3 days. That's still a stupid-hot number, but it's all relative. Right? Gavin and I played 4 games of racquetball and split them 2-2. Great workout, lots of sweat, but I'm in front of the fan right now so that helps. Soon Kat will get home from work and her and I can *hopefully* talk about the future of the place. Katherine just told me we're down a cook so we're already on limited menu at 1545 before dinner. How fuckin' sad is that?! Yet another nail in the coffin of the place that seems to always cost us precious... precious money that we barely have anymore. What a bunch of crap!

Right now it looks like we only have two options: try to sell or just close for good later this summer or early fall. We're going to do 1.1 million in net sales this year (if we kept it going all year) and still barely break even or lose a little money. WHAT A PATHETIC BUNCH OF CRAP!

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Thursday, 7-11-24: I should sleep in the cellar. Stupid housing prices.
It's been a hot summer so far and there is a lot of it left. The bedroom with no A/C = very hard to sleep without some booze and/or an edible. What a bunch of crap! I think this should be our last summer without any A/C, but I've probably written that before on this bootleg piece of shit site that almost no one ever reads. I should sleep on an air mattress on the floor in the cellar in the bootleg little gym I have down there. It's "only" 70 in the cellar and I have the dehumidifier going so it's not too bad as far as moisture in the air.

I bought a new air mattress today, but I don't think I'll use it because I've had a few drinks and I'll eat an edible and just sleep/pass out in the bedroom. Who knows, maybe I'll use it tomorrow, next week, next month, all of the above? I have more than one reason to consider it...

Sales at the restaurant have been a bunch of crap so far this week. Most of the year we're up substantially year-over-year, but we're down a bit this week as compared to last year same time period. What a bunch of crap! Of course we still have Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to rally and we do most of our business over the weekend so we'll see...

We have a VERY important meeting tomorrow with the guy who has professionally evaluated our business. This meeting will likely and *hopefully* change the course of my dog-shit life. I want to sell the place, and I'm very strong in my conviction. However, a lot of things have to come together for that to happen including the right price and a willing buyer. I'm mentally checked out of everything but awesome 80s music, which of course I have on now as I often do when I update this bootleg site. I was listening to Crowded House Something So Strong and Don't Dream It's Over and now comes Starship Sara. I was going to listen to Crowded House last night, but I rolled with the Pet Shop Boys before an ABC song came on. It plays some of what I select then it goes random, but it often plays things I've listened to recently. In this case YouTube seems to know my half-drunk patterns hehehe.

Oh hey, check this out this is very interesting and might matter soon if things stay in the toilet in my useless life. Here is a house for sale within eyesight of where we live:

^It's 1165 square feet of living space, 1/4 acre lot, very basic and small 3br 1 bath for $299,900. OMG THAT SHIT IS FUCKING CRAZY FOR SUCH A SIMPLE HOUSE! The interior was remodeled so it looks nice, but it's obviously not super fancy, rooms are small, and the living room is also small. Our house > that house by a lot. A LOT. I'd guess, based on that list price, our house is worth at least $350 and probably $400k. Tempting to try and sell? FUCK YEAH!

Sell the restaurant, sell this house, leave? It's on my radar as a possibility. However, the cost of living seems to be ridiculous everywhere so buying a new house or even finding a rental for a fair price is nearly impossible. What a bunch of crap! I don't know exactly what I'm doing yet, I have no solid plan B, but something better than what I have going on now will happen soon because it's hard to get much worse. Maybe? Hopefully! Hauling on the restaurant is priority #1 right now and everything else comes after that. EVERYTHING. I have nothing else I can give emotionally and I'm totally empty right now with no refueling station on the horizon. What a bunch of crap!

I need a fuckin' year off.

Oh hey, another fantastic song. Tina Turner We Don't Need Another Hero (Thunderdome) from the amazingly awesome movie Mad Mad: Beyond Thunderdome. There's a new Mad Max movie out, but Mel Gibson isn't in it. It might still be a good movie, though. The Mad Max: Fury Road from a few years ago was totally awesome and Mel Gibson wasn't in that one. Beyond Thunderdone is definitely the best Mad Max movie of them all. WHO RUNS BARTERTOWN?! Turns out it's a midget and a lot of pig shit hehehe. It's not a cinematic masterpiece, but it rules all. the first Mad Max movie ever made was actually kind-of a turd in my humble opinion...

I still have fuckin' poison ivy on half my bootleg body. What a bunch of crap! I got it about 8 days ago, but I didn't really notice its effects until Friday last week so I guess it's really been 6 days. It's starting to improve but it's still gods damned annoying. Another nail in my shit-life coffin. Oh, I just checked sales at the restaurant and I wish I hadn't done that because OMG it's TERRIBLE. This has been one of, if not the worst, 3-day stretch for the place all year not including closed days for holidays and snow in winter. In the past I would have been quite upset about it due to always worrying about money, but now I care less because it solidifies my need to sell or just close. I can't handle the stress of it all anymore, especially the financial stress.

Kat's knee replacement got moved up from Aug 5 to July 31 so in 20 days she'll have a new right knee and won't be able to work for quite a while. That pushes me to want to sell even sooner because we can't run that place the right way without her. Not even close. The kids said they'll step up, but they're lazy so I really don't belive it. We do have some good people on the staff, but the bad ones cancel them out so it's a push. Hard times are to come for sure so all I can do it take it day by day.

All I wanna know is why? Why is one of these stupid fuck-stain cats meowing and scratching at the bedroom door? It's Schroeder, and he represents all that is wrong with my life. A couple years ago Kat wanted to get another cat (no pun intended), I said NO, she pushed for it, I eventually said yes, and now we're stuck with this needy, missing-chromosome shitbag of a pet. Fuck this.

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Wednesday, 7-10-24: Back to carpentry today on another really hot day. Oh, my life still fuckin' SUCKS.
I got to do some carpentry for most of today. Oh Jesus, hell ya! Doing carpentry > working at the restaurant that I now hate and can't wait to either sell or quit. One of those two things will be happening this year, and hopefully sooner rather than later. I have A LOT of things going on now so I won't have time to write about them all. Plus some things shouldn't be shared on this bootleg site yet.

The carpentry was a relatively simple job over at Mike's replacing his front steps. There's also a landing that was installed horribly so getting it all level (okay, mostly level) and correct took up a little extra precious... precious time. Plus it was HOT today. Again. Mid-upper 80s, working in the sun for half of the day, and incredibly humid. Like, tropical humidity with a dew point in the low 70s. Sweat was flowing and I had to come home and change all my clothes at lunch due to all the sweat. What a bunch of crap!

^When he was buying the place there were no front steps at all so they hired some hack to throw some half-assed, bootleg thing together just to get it sold. They used interior-grade 2x4s for the balusters hahahahaha what a bunch of crap! As you can see it didn't stand the test of time very well at all. Nothing level, nothing done truly right.

^Six total hours of work, but some of that was a trip to Lowe's and loading up tools/planning everything out.

I did have to go to the restaurant today to help host trivia and, before trivia, to help Bruce some for replacing the urinal in the men's event-room bathroom. It seems stupid to do that when we're probably selling the place soon, but it was on the list and we had traded off some work so might as well see it through. Who knows, maybe it will add a little value to a potential buyer?

So what is the value? I do have a little clarity on that, but until a Fridat 1400 meeting I won't know for sure. I'm hoping to finalize some decisions ASAP so I can get out of my toilet-stained life that I did to myself. Everything sucks and now it's hot as balls and we don't have A/C. I might just move into the basement. What a bunch of crap!

Instead if living in my parents' basement I'd be living in my own basement. As long as I'm not chained to the wall like Sloth from The Goonies it's all good hehehe.

Pet Shop Boys, He Dreamed of Machines. Cool song thank you YouTube. Maybe next I'll throw on some Crowded House. I need some 1980s music to help save me from a deep despair and it often does help.

I had a great weekend of mostly not-working that was marred by my wife being a total beotch to me. I went down to Waterville to visit Phil, Danielle, and their kids Saturday night. Phil and I played a few ghetto games of pool in his house (pool table in the finished basement) while we visited and caught up. We had a couple drinks but didn't get drunk. I spent the night in their spare room and then Phil took me out on what was a beautiful plane ride Sunday morning before I headed down to meet up with my family. Phil owns an airplane and the last time I was in his plane I was about to chunder due to turbulence. Thankfully this time around things were a lot better and I did enjoy it.

Jason and his gang had their usual rental home on Damiriscotta Lake in Jefferson, the weather was great, we had an awesome lunch, and as an added bonus Mom and Dad also joined us for lunch and we had a GREAT day. Had a fantastic boat ride and overall visit before it was time for my ass to roll out for the 1.5-hr drive home. I was only gone for about 25 total hours, but my wife was an asshole about it so that's another nail in our coffin. However, I'm not writing any more about that shit-show tonight.

I was gonna put on Crowded House, but then Pet Shop Boys You Were Always on My Mind came on so I watched that 1987 song and video. It's great! I'd heard it before, but not in a long time and I wasn't very familiar with it. Now more Pet Shop Boys Suburbia. There are a lot of songs I would like to listen to tonight, but I ate a little edible so I can sleep since my life sucks so hard that I can hardly sleep without one. What a bunch of crap! Plus it's so fucking hot I can't really sleep without one anyway. No A/C in the bedroom and we seem to be on track for the hottest month on record. I'm not joking about that either. Lots of high 80s to around 90 in the next 10-14 days with a lot of low temps 65-70. THAT IS TOTALLY RIDICULOUS AND WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP ALL ROLLED INTO ONE EPIC FAIER SHIT SHOW. Our seaonal avg for this time of year is closer to 79/60 so we're well above that.

I got home and watched some Fox News as well as the Red Sox loss to Oakland. Can't complain too much about the Red Sox losing to the lowly As since they usually beat up on the As. Plus the Sox have actually been playing great lately and are now 49-41 or something like that. Not in 1st place but certainly in contention for at least a wild-card spot with a lot of the season left. Over the weekend the Sox took 2-3 from the Yankees in the Bronx. Oh Jesus, hell ya!

In politics almost all of the talk is about mentally-incompetent Joe Biden and his failing bid for re-election. The guy has one foot on a banana peel and the other in the grave, he's around 80, and he's in no shape at all to be the president. Sadly his VP, Harris, is even worse. She's a HORRIBLE politician who somehow failed forward in her life. Every interview she does is cringe-worthy and embarassing for her.

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Friday, 7-05-24: Not at work!
Hey awesome I'm not on the work schedule at all this week. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I have worked, but not as much as usual. I went in earlier for the dinner-rush and the place got packed full for a while. We were getting our asses handed to us, but sales are good. Right now the Sox are about to lose to the Yankees (What a bunch of crap!) and it's 2200, taps taps lights out in a former life on the ship.

The restaurant/bar is open another three hours and it might get busier later after some country music concert ends at the Waterfront. I do need to go back, but only briefly to finish up a few event-room things. There's a dance ending in an hour so I'll probably head down in about a half-hour, give or take. After I get home my ass plans to rack out so I can help at work tomorrow. I need to learn some bartending since I'm the event-room bartender for a couple events at the end of next week and I'm not really skilled. I can do a lot of drinks, but I can't make a good margarita or a lot of other signature drinks.

It was nice not having to work yesterday. We had our annual July 4th party here, I got pretty drunk, but I wasn't hungover today so bonus there! We started earlier than ever, 1300, and I passed out for good around 2300. I drank a bit more than I should have. What a bunch of crap! I also decided to pass out in a lawn chair for a while because I was tired hahaha. No drinks tonight, F that. I got a decent night of sleep last night since I racked out relatively early as compared to some past July 4th parties here. Overall it was a good party with great weather. Not too hot, not too cold, and good times had by almost everyone. We almost didn't have the party and I would have been fine with not having it. Who knows, it might have been our last July 4th party here if we do sell the restaurant...

Since I'm not on the schedule at all tomorrow and for the first time in a long time we don't have Saturday events out back I'm going to visit Phil and his family tomorrow night, crash out down in Waterville with them, and go to visit Jason and my family Sunday. Jason has their usual lake house that they rent once a week in the summer so I'll probably end up on the boat and in the lake for a bit. Should be a really nice day Sunday, too. Maybe? Hopefully!

Oh wow Yoshida just hit a 2-run home run with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th to tie it up, 3-3. AWESOME!

I sat on the back deck and read some of one of my old journals earlier today. I was mostly in 1999 when Doug, Jon, and I lived at what was at the time 24 Prospect Ave here in Brewer. I was making $6 an hour at Aubuchon Hardware and I was a really big Red Sox fan back then. A lot of my bootleg updates were about the Red Sox and back then the Sox-Yankees rivalry seemed to matter more. Now I really don't care that much, but it is nice to be able to watch some of the game and to not be at work.

I have friggin' poison ivy on half my body. What a bunch of crap! I was weedwacking out back Wednesday and I thought I saw some in the corner by the fence where I've seen it in the past. I dunno wtf I did, but it was hot, I was sweating a lot, and in hindsight I should have left it, put on gloves, pulled it out and then IMMEDIATELY taken a shower. I haven't had bad poison ivy in years so this really sucks. A lot. It's on my skull, arms, legs, etc. Hopefully it gets better ASAP because it's annoying gods damn it.

Okay, I'm back and I got my stuff done at work quickly. The Red Sox did beat the Yankees in the 10th inning so that's awesome! Baseball implemented a new rule several years ago where in extra innings you start with a runner on 2nd base so that helps games from lasting so long. There's also a pitch clock now so most games are done in under 3 hours. However, Sox-Yankees games often take longer plus there was a rain delay earlier.

It's nice not having to be at work on a Friday night. I can get used to this! Sadly this will probably be the last Friday in a long time where I'm not working into the night due to staff vacations, events, etc. I''d love for our valuation to come in next week, we see a number we like, and we sell the place. One can only hope, right?

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Wednesday, 7-03-24: I don't even understand this garbage 1-star review.
Fuckin' Google reviews, man. Our restaurant/bar has a 4.6 and that's great compared to other similar establishments around here. Sadly we get some 1-star reviews for some really stupid reasons. Most of the reviews are great, but this one to come is fresh from the turd-heap:

^IT'S A TURD IN A PUNCH BOWL HAHAHA. OH WAIT IT'S NOT FUNNY.

Here is the review that I just read a couple minutes ago:

"I fought for this country. I lost a lot of friends over the years. I don’t have any issues with people for who they are, I fought for them just as much as anyone. I think no matter who you are you should respect this country. If you are going to fly a flag, the American flag is supposed to be the flag flown highest. Now I’m not typically one to make waves, but I don’t see us flying a flag for any other group. So I find it disrespectful to those who served to put another flag next to it and at the same level. It’s shameful, some of us still believe that the American flag includes everyone, so when you make your own flag you are saying you are separate. I’d look into the history of flags. I’m 100% disabled after fighting for you, do I know you personally? Do I care about what you are into? No, I fought for you as a fellow American and frankly this makes me feel like I’m not welcome!"

All I wanna know is why? Why is that posted on our Google review page? I don't even understand this review. No clue what's going on, and I'm an honorably-discharged veteran so this is extra perplexing for me personally. WE DON'T HAVE A FLAG POSTED IN A DISRESPECTFUL WAY!

Last month was "Pride month" so there was some rainbow flag hanging somewhere. I don't give a crispy fuck about Pride month because it's dumb as shit. Be gay, fine I don't care if you're gay. Gay men make more not-gay women available. I don't care about any of that stupid shit. Maybe that's why this bad review came in? Maybe there's a gay pride flag hanging around? Hell if I know, but I will write a reply because it makes no sense. Even weirder is the 5/5 we got in the same review for service and quality.

WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

This is the stuff I just can't mentally handle anymore so I'm glad to pay a lot of precious... precious money to get the business professionally evaluated so *hopefully* we can get rid of it ASAP. It's sad because sales have been WAY above what I thought they would be. Even tonight is really busy with great sales on what has been one of our worst weeks of the year in the past. However, Kat's all pissed off down there because someone wants the volume of the karaoke turned down and it's not even that loud. I should know because I was there finishing up trivia before I came home to watch some of the Red Sox and some entertaining news headlines regarding our pudding-head president and his lack of mental acumen. Even a lot of Democrats want Biden to retire now AHAHAHAHA.

It's too bad things turned a little sour tonight because the first three days of this month have been great. Beautiful warm weather but not very humid. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I've gotten good exercise and made some progress around the house. We have our usual July 4th party tomorrow that I almost don't want to have, but fuck it might as well as Kat put it best it's most likely our last one here if we do sell or just close the restaurant.

As far as the future of the restaurant, that still remains to be seen. I'd rather just do taxes. I'd guess it will take a few more days, maybe even a week or two, to get some sort of valuation number. I added up the cost and value of the equipment we have on-hand and holy Jebus it's a very high number. Much higher than I expected it to be so that should help. Maybe? Hopefully! It's very comfortably six-digits not including cents.

I can't own a restaurant and find my inner-peace so I really look forward to hauling on the place and/or quitting. It's sad because my awesome wife wants to do it, we're getting a lot of local noteriety, but I'm mentally checked out of it all. I only do it to keep the place open so we don't lose a fuckload of money, and if we keep it open long enough we might be able to sell it instead of just closing. Selling the place for even half of what we have into it would be a major win for me personally, but we'll see.

It will be interesting where I land later this year. If all goes as planned the restaurant will be SOLD, I'll find a little office I can lease for the tax business, and we'll have a few bucks in the bank so we won't have to worry about money for a long time, if ever. Maybe the restaurant won't be sold and if that's the case I hope we can find someone who wants to do it full-time and more. Kat's kids don't give a shit and that's sad because 2 of the 3 are really lazy and those are the ones who still work there! I shouldn't call them lazy, but 25-30 hours a week seems to be all they need and that is fucking garbage-time and "what a bunch of crap" all rolled up into one. When I was in my 20s I worked a lot. A LOT.

Kat better not be mad at me because I don't want to do the restaurant anymore. She can be mad, that's her right, but if she is mad and if she stays mad I'm out like a fat kid in dodge ball. I'm not really even bound to this area and to this life anymore for any good reason so even a shitty small reason might make me pull chocks and put this entire area in my rear-view. I feel like a dink writing that, but it's the absolute truth. What a bunch of crap! I made poor decisions, I have a failing life, and that's my own fault.

Tonight should have been a really good night because sales at the restaurant have been awesome and WAY above my expectations. Sadly it's turd-stained by the usual stupid shit so I'm over it. I ate an edible so soon I can pass out. I'll hopefully have a few hours tomorrow morning before I drink again tomorrow afternoon for our big July 4th party. Not having to work is great since the restaurant is closed. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I'm not on the schedule at all this week so I'll go visit Phil and his family Sat night and maybe go see Jason, Holly, and the kids Sunday. Nothing official on that end yet but it's my current plan and what I need to do. I'm beyond sick of working every Friday and Saturday night until 0200 or so.

I didn't drink too much tonight because I'll drink tomorrow as well and I don't want to be a shit-show all week. However, I caught a good buzz and the edible will help. I really don't sleep without one anymore unless I'm totally wiped out. What a bunch of crap!