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"I need to install a het pump for my mom this coming weekend." - Gavin
"Wait, you know how to install a heat pump?" - Me
"Yeah I watched a YouTube video on how to do it." - Gavin
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" - Me

Sunday, 6-30-24: Good riddance to another dog-shit month of my worthless life. Oh, a train-wreck of a debate.
This turd-stained month of my life is almost over, down to the final 8.25 hours, and I thank the gods who do not exist for that. Today actually hasn't been so bad. We had a cook call out from work so I helped for a little bit during brunch but then I freed up to do some house-cleaning, yoga, and play racquetball against both Gavin and Mike. We played two hot, humid games and I somehow won one of them despite having a slightl strained left calf. All the other staff are in place so I won't have to work tonight. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I've been the Sunday PM/evening closing manager for what seems like most of the year and it's too much for me to do with all the other work-shifts I cover.

I'm hoping not having to work on Sundays much will help me get caught up on other things that seem to keep piling up. Work around the house, admin in the office, other work at the bar, etc. I have a list so long that it stresses me out and I can't sleep. What a bunch of crap!

Sales have been great this month including today and the past couple days. We are WAY above where we were last year at this time. The event room had its most productive month, ever. We exceeded December last year event-room sales by just a bit largely in thanks to a lot of graduation parties and that HUGE Eagles dinner that ended up breaking my spirit. That night was such a shit-show that it took me days to recover from it. Literally days. What a bunch of crap! The dish-pit was piled on, my wife was a bitch to me, and I was a dick to her in return. Who knows, maybe I was a dick to her first so she responded in kind? It's all a blur except for the part that it made me fully realize I'm not doing this bullshit until it's time for me to retire or die.

I worked too much in June and I didn't get enough exercise. Friday the delivery came 4 hours late so there went a huge chunk of the day. It was perfect weather as well so when I finally did get free mid-afternoon I thought I'd go for a nice jog. It was going well enough until about 3/4 miles from home when I felt my left calf pull and I had to hobble my ass back home. What a bunch of crap! it felt fine yesterday and was only slightly aggrivated today so I hope it doesn't linger like it did last fall. Maybe I can't jog anymore because I'm too old? I'm not good at it anyway.

Friday was the 10-year anniversary of when Kat and I first hung out around my bootleg fire pit and got to know each other. We did spend a little time together, but not enough thanks to work, work, and more work. Friday sucked for me and it shouldn't have sucked. Work was the culprit as usual. I don't even enjoy going to the restaurant anymore. Not long ago I did enjoy going so I could see the place do well on weekend nights, but now I'm just mentally checked out from the place. I'll do something different at some point soon, and who knows maybe we will just sell it. Maybe? Hopefully!

I am working on getting a valuation for our fledgling business. It will take the guy a couple more weeks, but I met him Friday and got him as much information as I could. I have to tally up the first half of 2024 numbers and get them to him ASAP so he can finish the valuation and that will help us decide the next step in our evolution. I have a minimum number in mind that I'm hoping for, but that doesn't mean we will come close to it.

Wow it's getting dark now. We have some strong thunderstorms inbound:

I saw severe thunderstorm warnings posted up north including a tornado warning a bit south of Houlton. Possibly wind gusts up to 70MPH with some of these storms OMG. Looks like whatever will hit us will blow through quickly. Maybe? Hopefully! I did just get the dogs to take a piss outside before the first rumble of thunder (that I just heard) scared them back inside. Tiger Lily really fears thunderstorms. Groot doesn't fare to well in them either, but she's great compared to Tiger Lily.

I'm hoping July doesn't suck for me as much as June did, but it probably will because I'm so far down the well that it will take some time to crawl out of it. I think I can get out of the hole I'm in, but I'm not even 100% sure. What a bunch of crap! This week should be relatively easy and we're closed on Thursday for the 4th and our usual party. I'm not excited for our party and I almost told Kat I don't want to do it, but we need to do it and I do think I'll have some fun. If the next three days aren't ridiculous as far as work then I'll be in a better head-space for it.

I'm actually not on the work schedule at all for this week. Oh Jesus, hell ya! Of course I will work as there is a lot that can be done. After that it's a parade of people needing time off. First is Katherine taking a week vacation the second week in July. Second is Jess needing surgery, and finally is my awesome wife needing a knee replacement. That's going to mean a lot more work for me as Katherine, Jess, and obviously Kat all help manage and run the place.

I watched the presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden Thursday night and that had its entertaining yet sad moments. Trump is a convicted felon and Biden has one foot on a banana peel and the other in the grave. Biden looked BAD and at one point trailed off in a nearly incoherant mumble finishing with "we finally beat medicare." Trump's reply was hilarious: "I don't even know what he just said." HAHAHAHAHAHAA! July quote of the month that might stay into August because I suck at updating my quotes these days. What a bunch of crap!

^This guy is still our president for 7 more months and possibly longer if he gets re-elected in what is sure to be another rigged election designed to stop Trump.

Biden got crushed in the debate, and it was so bad CNN and other liberal-leaning news networks took a huge verbal dump all over the guy when it was over. Biden couldn't even get down one step to get off the debate stage. His wife had to hold his hand to help him down, and she told him "Good job you answered every question." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just like you'd tell a young child in a classroom. If this guy and his puppet-masters win in November this country is probably screwed past the point of no return.

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Wednesday, 6-26-24: 4 drinks, edible, bed.
I wonder if I can sleep more than 6 consecutive hours tonight? I hope so! I've had 4 drinks and pretty soon I'll eat part of an edible so I think I can rack out for a while. Maybe? Hopefully! I felt the right amount of tired last night, I fell asleep quickly, and then I woke up at 0100 and was wide awake for a bit over two hours. What a bunch of crap! Not sleeping sucks. A lot. I've been pretty bad at sleeping lately so hopefully that changes soon and I can do better.

I took a picture of some things that might not make sense until they are explained:

In the photo my bootleg Winders 7 Acer laptop computer is off to the right. I have 80s music on the TV, I have coffee brandy and milk in that drink (lol!), and those little containers with the labels L, CH, and L are "mini pies" brought by a customer last weekend for a charity fundraiser for another good customer and friend. Calling them a "pie" is a stretch, but they do taste good and they're close enough. L is for lemon and if you don't like lemon-flavored foods then I hate you. I probably hate you already, but I'll hate you a little more. LEMON IS A FANTASTIC FLAVOR!

CH = cherry. There are a bunch of other flavors like apple, peach, blackberry, strawberry, and I even accidentally found a blueberry. Oh Jesus hell ya! We took a bunch of them home Saturday night, there are a lot still at the bar, and I'm not convinced we will eat them all before they expire. I don't want to eat them just to prove a point because getting fat = DO NOT WANT.

Speaking of DO NOT WANT, there are a lot of things in my life right now that I "do not want" including almost everything. Sadly the list of things I do want is too long and that includes basic things like a steady paycheck and not owning a restaurant anymore. At least one of those two if not both needs to happen by the end of the year gods damn it.

Back to the photo above, there is our Spectrum TV remote for the cable box. Are we dinosaurs for still having a cable box? It seems more and more people just have Interweb and download the shows they want to watch. We should do that as well, but I'm bad at using new technology and I don't think I can even log onto Netflix without my awesome wife here to do it for us. What a bunch of crap!

There is a recipe spec-book for the restaurant that I've never read because I don't fuckin' care. I do care, but I can't care because my brain can't fit it in. I'm not going to involve myself with kitchen stuff because I don't care enough and I get overwhelmed.

Oh hey awesome 80s channel plays a classic, Jane Says by Jane's Addiction. The steel drums version is the best, but this original version is still fantastic. What a great band! I never knew this single was from 1988 wow. One guy from this band went on to host a tattoo show that I watched a little hahahaha. It was on Spike TV, but there is no more Spike TV now it's Paramount. Before all of that it wa TNN. How do I remember all of that? I dunno must be the booze!

Also in the photo above, a spray-bottle. All I wanna know is why? Why do we gotta have one of those just sitting there? It's just water, too. Sometimes we have to squirt the asshole cats with water in order to get them to comply with life-orders. It's simple stuff, too. The basics like "Don't try to run outside because you don't understand the world beyond." One cat in particular is the worst offender and I tuly hate him:

^Okay that is a cute photo...

His name is Eleven, and he can fuck right off. He tries to run outside, he runs into the bedroom for no real reason other than to get stuck and cause mayhem, and I don't ever want to look at his stupid-ass face again. However, I have to look at him at least a little on most days since cats live a pretty long time and he's only 5 or so years old (I dunno I just made that number up) and he has a long time before he dies and I can say "good riddance."

I don't hate all the cats, I just hate most of them and Eleven really makes his species look like a bunch of fuckin' assholes.

So far this has been another garbage week in what has been a long string of them. What a bunch of crap! I have too much work and not enough precious... precious free time. I did play two EPIC games of racquetball against Gavin yesterday so that made me hate my life just a tad less. We played for just over an hour, only two games, and they were great. I lost both (what a bunch of crap!) but they were really close and we were beat up at the end. A fantastic workout and really the only reason why I still live in this shitty area that feels less and less like home with each passing day. Gods damn it! I usually lose, but if I can make it really close and get an awesome workout then it's a win and yesterday that was certainly the case.

I finally found someone who can appraise out retaurant that I don't want to own anymore. I've been getting tax records and other info gathered up so hopefully the vaulation part doesn't take forever. I'm hoping the vaule number is good, but I really don't know. I have a number in my head where I'm 100% all-in on a sale, and it's a fairly low number as compared to what we have into the place. Will that be achievable? Only time will tell but I sure hope so because I feel like I need a friggin' year off so I can recover from how far into the shit I seem to have ventured.

Oh, there is another cat in this house who really sucks as well. He's another one of these:

^His name is Schroeder, and he represents everything that is wrong with me in my life. I didn't want any more cats in the house, I said no, my wife pushed for it, I finally said yes, and now we're stuck with this half-tail retard of a cat. I almost forgot about his loser-ass, but then he didn't want to move when I was trying to close a window and that made me remember how much I hate him, too. On a scale of 10/10 I hate "Eleven" about a 9.5 and I hate Schroeder about an 8.5 so there is clearly a "worst cat in the house" winner. I think there are 7 cats here now? Katherine owns 3 of them and that's a fuckin' joke because she really doesn't give a crap about them, at least not that I've ever seen.

I don't hate a couple of the cats because I never see them hehehe. Most of them can eat the peanuts out of my ssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttt, though.

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Monday, 6-24-24: How much is the place worth?
I need to get an idea how much our restaurant/bar is worth so we can find a way to haul on it. I got the number of a guy, I called the guy, he gave me the number of another guy, I called the guy, and he referred my loser-ass elsewhere. This has been over the course of a few days, but I haven't made it a top priority either. Friday comes around and it's time to work, work, and work some more. It was another busy weekend and another nail in my mental coffin. What a bunch of crap!

I've been making some progress on it all and hopefully tomorrow I can talk to someone who really wants a potential commission from a possible sale. I'm heavily leaning to "sell" mode, but at what price? I really don't want to let it go for 1/10 of what we have into it, but 1/2 or more would be very enticing. From my limited time researching it all there are a few different ways to derive a valuation including business stuff that I should know since I have a business degree, but that I don't know because college is mostly stupid unless you're going to be a doctor or some other highly-skilled field. Business degrees are kinda worthless, but I don't think they're as useless as something like fine arts or political science. What a bunch of crap those college degrees are!

So I can't fuckin' sleep again, and it's a night when in the recent past I've slept well. Not anymore! The weekend was so busy that I didn't get a good sleep at all. A little nap, maybe 20 min, but not enough. I worked a very busy Saturday night and felt wasted like Doc-J and 8-Ball from Full Metal Jacket after the shift ended at about 0200. I was still pretty beat Sunday, but I didn't work until 1700. I would have hardly needed to work at all, but there were two callouts and that is a bunch of crap. I did make a quick trip down to the ol' homestead in heavy rain showers for lunch with Mom and Dad and then a stop at Jason and Holly's to get "Body slammed" by my soon-to-be 5-year old nephew. He's light enough that it doesn't really hurt so I'm fine with getting beat up a little.

Kat was irritated with me for going, and that's another nail in the coffin for our marriage. The coffin isn't nailed shut yet, but it's been pried open from half-shut more than once. If that shit keeps up much more then I'm out of here. I swear to the gods who don't really exist I'll put this entire town in my rear-view. I don't need my wife being pissy with me because she wanted me at the restaurant. I already skipped Dad's 75th birthday 3 weeks ago and Father's Day last week for the fuckin' restaurant that I no longer want to own. What a bunch of crap!

I offered up my shares of ownership to her three kids with the stipulation they have to work full-time at least 40 and often 50 hours a week and guess which one of the three decided to step up for the opportunity? NOT ONE OF THEM. Man when I was their age I would have killed for an opportunity like that. I don't really blame Dillon because he has a kid and the restaurant isn't a guaranteed path to steady pay. That restaurant is on a path to profits and it could possibly happen as early as later this year. Certainly next year at the pace of growth. Sales last week were incredible as compared to my projections. We exceeded last year's sales week-over-week by $6000. I should be really happy about that, but I'm just feeling burned out because it's too much work.

So why am I trying so hard to bail out of a business that is on a path to success? Two reasons. First and foremost it's starting to kill me. I can't quantify it with actual data, but I can't sleep, I hate my life, and I can feel myself going downhill both mentally and physically. I crashed out for 10 hours last night (thanks to an edible) and woke up this morning feeling exhausted. Using the gym the past three days? No way in hell I'm still recovering from the weekend of work even now at close to midnight. What a bunch of crap! I rarely can sleep well anymore without eating a pot-cookie or some other form of edible. Hell even when I get half-drunk I don't sleep well and booze used to help me sleep. Gods damn it! I guess I should get more drunk next time hehe.

Second reason I want out is it's not what I truly want to do. I don't want the next two decades of my shitty life (if I live that long) to be managing these crazy chicks who, on average, are between the ages of 18-30 and who have all kinds of issues. Being a restaurant manager FUCKIN SUCKS. Then there are the cooks, the dishwashers, etc. I'm rapidly reaching the point in my life where I'm going to take a hard-pass on anything management-related other than maybe managing my own tax business. When I manage myself is that really being a manager, though?

I might not even have a tax business after this year because that all depends on what happens after we either sell the restaurant or I am officially off the schedule. I might find a 40hr/week job and just do that. I'd rather keep doing taxes and some carpentry, but we'll see how it all unfolds. A huge part of me really doesn't even want to live here anymore.

I'm hoping the restaurant is worth at least $250k, and a higher number would really help to change my failing outlook on everything about my life. If it's only worth $100k (I'm thinking it's worth more) then the hard decisions rear up. A lot of what I've read about valuation revolves around net income after expenses and we've never had that be a positive number, ever. OMG WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! Doesn't help I just finished our taxes last week and the restaurant shows about -54,000 for 2023. Some of that is depreciation, though. The NOL on our own tax return is borderline embarassing at this point.

^ME, MYSELF, AND I.

The saddest part of this bootleg update that almost no one will ever read is the fact that I'm not even drunk-updating like I so-often do. I'm completely sober writing about my shit life. Usually after 3-4 drinks I'll come on here and really let loose. The alcohol lately heightens my hatred for my life. What a bunch of crap! Thankfully I only drink 4-5 about once a week, usually Wednesdays, but not always.

I truly have no one to blame for all of this but myself. Dad says it best: "You make your own luck."

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Wednesday, 6-19-24: Some recent photos and holy Jebus it's hot!
We're in some bootleg "heat dome" bullshit that has affected a lot of the northeast into the midwest, and today was 95 degrees with a "heat index" of around 105. Tonight's low temperature is expected to be 74. OMG THAT SHIT IS RIDICULOUS. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! All I wanna know is why? Why does it gotta be so hot all night? I can't fuckin' sleep through that! Actually nevermind I kinda can, but it will take more booze and an edible. It is not possible to get a good night sleep with a low temp of 70+ unless one possesses air conditioning, and we do not possess that.

Today was too hot to do any kind of work outdoors. Going for a jog? Forget it. I could have gone around 0900 when it was only 80, but I had a tax client and stuff to do. Plus I suck at jogging no matter the time of day, but I really suck in the early part of the day. I did get a good workout on in my bootleg downstairs gym where it's still nice and cool so that was a win. I also went over to my old building at Allen Rd for a final walkthrough of an apartment that I once renovated. Kat's oldest son lived there with his chick for a few years so I wanted to help with the final walkthrough with the new landlords so he didn't get screwed over. I don't want him getting a security deposit deduction for things that he didn't cause.

I have a good relationship with the new landlords who own Allen Rd. They jacked the rents way up, but rents are stupid-high everywhere so they just did what I probably should have done when I was a landlord. It was nostalgic walking through apt 3 where Pat used to live, and I also saw the cellar where this epic gym was just over two years ago:

^That photo was 5 years ago, give or take (2019) and Groot kinda still looks like that today. I don't even know how old our two dogs are now. What a bunch of crap! I'd guess 8 and 7, but I could be off by a year. Tiger Lily is the older of the two, but when it's 95 and she does this then I question her mental acumen:

^HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG ALL I WANNA KNOW IS WHY? WHY WOULD SHE LIE IN THE SUN IN THE MOST EPIC OF HOT DAYS, EVER? TODAY TIED AN ALL-TIME HIGH TEMP AND THE "FEELS LIKE" TEMP WAS OVER 100 AND THAT WAS AROUND 1430, THE HOTTEST TIME OF THE DAY HAHAHAHAHA.

I still don't miss owning Allen Rd and I like having my more scaled-down version of the gym here at the house. I don't even have to leave home to get my swell on. I only use the gym about 10 times a month so it's a waste of 300 square feet that gets used for 300 minutes a month, on average. However, it's just the cellar so no big deal. I did get good exercise last month, but this month hasn't been quite as good. It's been too hot to go for a jog the past two days and tomorrow will be just as hot. Last week I had too much work thanks to the restaurant, but things should slow down some at the restaurant over the next 2-3 weeks. Usually the end of June and the first week of July slow down. I'd like good sales, but I don't want to get crushed with too much work in the process. If all goes as planned I either won't work there at all by the end of the year, we won't own it because we will find a buyer, or I'll only help some here and there when I can fit it in.

Last week I had to help Dan and his chick move from apt 3 at Allen Rd over to their new house in Bangor. The lawn at their new house = what a bunch of crap! Look at this shit-show:

^AHAHAHAHAHA WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE. I mowed the hell out of that with the mower-wheels all the way up for them, and it's a pretty big lawn so it took a while. I used all kinds of precious... precious time helping them move last week and they really need to work on their gratutide because the thanks I got was kinda half-assed. Not like I don't have 1000 other things I should be doing, but I felt like I owed them since I sold Allen Rd a couple years ago and the new landlords jacked up their rent.

I do like their new house over in Bangor. A former smoker lived there so it smelled like old nicotine, but they cleaned and painted so credit to them for putting in the work. They have a nice yard even though it's still kind-of a jungle. I'll help then when I can, but I have a lot of other things to do so they'll have to figure it ou on their own. It took them a while to find a house, and home prices are a bunch of crap so they probably got screwed over on the price. Sadly everyone buying a house these days is getting screwed over, though. What a bunch of crap!

In other news the Celtics won their 18th NBA championship on Monday against the Dallas Mavericks. The Celtics really dominated this season and they killed it in the playoffs. I normally rack out earlier on Mondays, but I stayed up until just past 2300 to see the game end. Soon I won't have to work as much on Sundays because I'm training a new manager to take most of those shifts. I work too gods damned much and that has to end before I lose what few marbles I still have left.

What would it feel like to have weekends off? It's been so long since I had that luxury I wouldn't even know. Whose fault is that? MINE OF COURSE WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

I still hate my life by the way.

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Wednesday, 6-12-24: I'm going to resign. Thank you, Def Leppard.
I'm going to listen to Def Leppard's Pyromania on my bootleg little tin-speakers on this bootleg computer as I write this horrible shit-show of an update that only two people will ever read. First track on the album: Rock Rock till you Drop. THIS ALBUM IS FANTASTIC! Nothing can ever compare to the masterpiece that is Def Leppard's follow-up album, Hysteria, but this one is a very worthy pre-cursor. I'd rate this a 9.5/10 with only Ratt's Invasion of your Privacy ranking higher. I dunno it varies some, but for sure this one is an all-time top five for my loser-ass.

Why is this important? It might be enough to determine whether or not I want to live. Seems an extreme thing to type when I'm half-drunk, but it's true. My life is such a giant piece of shit these days that I have to hold onto things like this in order to stay alive. What a bunch of crap! I see all kinds of crap in the world, literal crap, and my own life features plenty of it so finding some kind of peace in the music of a better generation gone-by helps me justify even being alive anymore.

^Helps keep me alive. Not even joking. 1983-1993 in music = chef's kiss. I don't even know what a chef's kiss is, but it is probably lame and possibly illegal in all 50 states given health-code statutes.

I mentally the fuck checked-out last weekend. It was a shit-show of epic proportions, and I can barely even write this bootleg update because I got drunk first. First we had the truck come about 4 hours late so bye bye daytime Friday. Second we had our only Friday night dishwasher call out so I was pwned. Finally, we had a HUGE event Saturday that didn't exactly go to plan. We had to feed 135 people, and we made some mistakes along the way. However, they made some huge mistakes as well. I told them they can't let 130 people go to a buffet as a "free for all." When you're trying to feed that many people you gotta assign table numbers and do it in order. Did they listen? NOPE!

The to make things worse the restaurant got really busy and for karaoke we were CRUSHED so I had to help in dish. I've never seen so many gods damned dishes. We had to stack plates in milk crates and wash them hours later. OMG WE PUT DIRTY PLATES IN MILK CRATES BECAUSE THERE WAS NOWHERE IN THE DISH AREA TO EVEN STAGE THEM.

WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

Last Saturday destroyed me. I was physically unwell as a result of the carnage, and of course I was mentally unwell also. However, I've been mentally unwell for a long time. I can't do the restaurant anymore, I'm all done, so we met Monday and I laid out my plan. I'm going to be off the schedule at the restaurant by the end of the year, if not sooner. I'm not meant to be a restaurant owner. I don't care if the family decides to sell or to keep it going. I don't want to screw anyone over, but I'm a fuckin' mess right now. It's the worst I've ever been in my life and I don't even care... whether or not I care.

^I AM FUCKIN' DONE.

So I'm leaving the restaurant in an official capacity. I will help here and there if they want to keep it going, but gone will be the days where I'm the manager on duty running the place. I just can't do it because the stress and chaos is going to kill me. I don't care if I die, and I mean that. However, I don't want some fuckin' restaurant to kill me. I'd rather go out on my own terms if possible. Running the restaurant makes me miserable and sad and it makes me hate my life.

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Friday, 6-07-24: Dad's birthday that I can't go to because my life fuckin' sucks.
Pop is 75 today, and it's his actual birthday. I'd see him if I didn't live 1.5 hours away and have my loser fuckin' ass tired to this restaurant that I no longer want to own. Whose fault is that? MINE!

^MY ENTIRE LIFE. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

Work is going to be epic busy over the weekend. I expect tonight to crank, and tomorrow will be even busier. Sales *should* be great, and we need the revenue. However, we're running extremely short-staffed all weekend due to some scheduled time off, having to fire a server, and now our only dishwasher for tonight just called out. Gods damn it! The kid better really be sick because he knows how screwed we are without him. We're going to be running a busy Friday night down a server, a new hire out back who has never worked that event before, NO DISHWASHER, down a cook, it's all-bad.

Oh, after we close I have to set the event room up for a giant meeting with 140 people for tomorrow. The room will need to be cleaned, rectangle tables removed and round tables set up, tablecloths, bathrooms cleaned, etc. The event tomorrow will have people rolling in as early as 0800, before we even open officially, so I need to have it done. I'm probably not going to bivouac until 0330-0400 and I need to be back tomorrow by 0900 so I can help. What a bunch of crap!

I doon't mind not seeing Dad on his actual birthday because that's common. Mom works Fridays and Saturdays so they're doing a party for him Sunday, and I can't go because I HAVE TO FUCKING WORK. We have a lot going on Sunday as well including a big graduation party later in the day with 60-70 people coming. I'll go down for a visit next week, but I don't know when yet I'll have to figure that out later. Father's Day is the Suunday the 16th, but I can't go down for that because work should be busy and I'll also be needed for that.

I don't even know what I'd do if I didn't have to work weekends anymore. Would I get bored? I don't mind working weekends if I get time off during the week, but I don't get time off during the week either. What a bunch of crap! Even worse, I don't get paid to work at the restaurant. Hopefully the work we put in will lead to profits one day or at least a good jump in value so we can sell it and walk away with a decent enough chunk of money to not have to stress about paying bills for a long time. Maybe? Hopefully!

The restaurant has become quite popular around town, we have a 4.6 Google rating, and at times we really crank. Unfortunately doing a million dollars in sales in a year isn't enough to make money. What a bunch of crap! The Google rating is one of the best ratings for a restaurant/bar in our entire area. Sadly lots of people still don't know we exist and we still make mistakes that cost us business at times.

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Thursday, 6-06-24: Well that was kind-of a shit party.
On the "I hate my life" scale right now it's a 10/10. What a bunch of crap! However, I am listening to NES Legacy of the Wizard theme song to cheer me up. The guy gets a 'butt cheek" and he has energy. Does it make any sense at all? Of course not! This game was so far ahead of its time that I couldn't even handle it. However, I'm 48.5 years old and I can't really even handle my own life. everything FUCKIN SUCKS.

^The main dungeon theme song for this song is awesome and if you disagree with me then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more. I wish I could make that my cellphone ring-tone again, but I suck. a lot.

My wife's 49th birthday was today, and at times it was a bunch of crap! She got so drunk she chundered in the driveway and all over her sandals, but at least I got those off her before she came into the house. I was a bit drunk, but compared to her ass I was a 1/10 and she is a 10/10 on the drunk-scale. Now I'm boozed up more because I'm thinking about how much I fucked up my life. I suck!

^MY FUCKIN LIFE.

I decided today that I'm done owning a restaurnt. I can't quit now without losing all the money I ever earned in my ENTIRE FUCKIN LIFE but soon enough I'm checked out. Hell, I'm checked out of my own marriage I've tried to divorce my wife a few times but I never got the job done. Opening that restaurant was really dumb. I knew it was dumb at the time as well, but I suck. I never got to that next level, and that's okay because I got far enough. If I die right now hey I don't care I've had a good enough life.

All I wanna know is why? Why at our age does a birthday even matter? I know it's a good way to break up the monotony of everyday life, but birthdays aren't really worth celebrating when you're 48 or 49. I don't even want anyone to know when I have a birthday because I don't want that spotlight.

I was reading an old jornal of my life earlier, and it honestly makes me hate my current life even more. I think I was happier in 1998 and early 1999 working at Aubuchon Hardware for Roger at $6 per hour than I am now. However, I don't even get paid at the restaraunt I make zero dollars. What a bunch of crap!

THIS IS MY FUCKIN LIFE:

^IT'S A BUTT-CHEEK FROM LEGACY OF THE WIZARD OMG THAT IS MY LIFE, AN 8-BIT ASSHOLE.

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Sunday, 6-02-24: Hey cool I didn't have to walk.
The weather this weekend has been fantastic. It was "only" 72 yesterday and a little crisp at times, but overall no complaints. Today has been the real gem, and I've been outside enough to get a little more tan. Not one cloud and not too windy. I did yoga then went for a 2.5-mile jog, and I didn't have to walk any of it. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I can't remember the last time I was able to go 2.5 miles without walking some of it, definitely not this year. My time was 21:24 so about an 8:41 per mile pace. I felt slow, but that's okay I'm never fast anymore and that pace is about my norm.

^Perfect weather for a jog and that low dew point is really great. I got my ass kicked at work last night and pulled a 12-hour shift; I didn't get home until 0320 and I thought I'd wake up wasted like Doc-J and 8-Ball from Full Metal Jacket and be too tired for a jog. Now I actually feel pretty good, but I'll crash out later.

Work last night wasn't bad to start, but we got packed by 2030-2100 because there was a big drag/metal show in the event room. Sales ended up being fantastic, our best June day of sales in one day ever, but it was a lot of work and a lot of steps for my loser-ass all over the place. That's why I thought I'd suck for a jog today; the standing and cruising all over the place at works wears me out some. Not all at once, but it's definitely cumulative.

The event room was a mess but not damaged, and the metal show went until the very end so the bands were still leaving at 0200. I had to clean the entire space and set up tables and chairs for today's "Country Jam" event. Good thing we have the Country Jam today because sales on the restaurant side suck. What a bunch of crap! It's just too nice of a day, a 10/10 as far as weather. We can't compete with the good, warm, summer-like weather. Too many other fun/relaxing things to do outdoors.

Working at the restaurant is burning my ass out so I don't think I'll be doing it much longer. Kat has a knee replacement scheduled for August 5 so I'll stick it out at least until she recovers well enough to get back at it. I don't plan to simply quit, I'd still help here and there, but working every Friday and Saturday night plus doing everything else = DO NOT WANT. The restaurant business isn't where I truly belong. We don't even make money doing it. What a bunch of crap!

Everything I just wrote in the paragraph above will be moot if we lose money this month. We NEED to turn a profit this month or else we will either have to close or find a buyer for the place. I think we will make money based on upcoming events and the payroll cycle and everything else, but I'm only about 80% confident in that. Last month we spent $9500 more than we made so that's a huge monthly loss. What a bunch of crap! Part of that is the calendar for payroll and other bills, but the other part is our own failure at how we staff and run the place. We just had one bad week, the last week for Memorial Day, but it hit us hard. Next year we'll have to run a smaller staff for Memorial Day weekend, especially if the weather is good like it has been the past couple years.

A stretch of really great weather is expected for most of this week so I'm sure sales will be slow until next weekend. However, we do have some big events next weekend so from Friday-Sunday it's going to be A LOT of work. We're gonna be short-staffed as well, and we had to fire a server. She was one of our best servers, but also one of our worst at times due to almost getting into a fight with two different co-workers, sometimes being a beotch, and being tardy/calling out too much. Too bad for her because overall I did like working with her and I trusted her. She was with us for 3+ years and was almost one of our originals as we hired her only a month after we grand opened in 2021.

We only have a couple people left on our staff who opened the place with us in March, 2021. We have two cooks (one down to part-time two days a week now) and a server/manager. Maybe there's someone else I'm not thinking of, but I doubt it. We do have a few others who've been with us almost since the beginning and of course my awesome wife and I are on that list.

Alright turds, all two of you who read this bootleg site, I gotta clean up and go to work soon for my 1500-2200 shift. If it's really slow I'll be done closer to 2145, but we'll see how it goes. I seriously doubt we'll be busy for dinner. Sometimes we are on a Sunday evening, but usually not when the weather is this nice.