9-04 10-04 11-04 12-04 1-05 2-05 3-05 4-05 5-05 6-05 7-05 8-05 9-05 10-05 11-05 12-05 1-06 2-06 3-06
4-06 5-06 6-06 7-06 8-06 9-06 10-06 11-06 12-06 1-07 2/07 3-07 4-07 5-07 6-07 7-07 8-07 9-07 10-07 11-07 12-07 1-08 2-08 3-08 4-08 5-08 6-08 7-08 8-08 9-08 10-08 11-08 12-08 1-09 2-09 3-09 4-09 5-09 6-09 7-09 8-09 9-09 10-09 11-09 12-09 1-10 2-10 3-10 4-10 5-10 6-10 7-10 8-10 9-10 10-10 11-10 12-10 1-11 2-11 3-11 4-11 5-11 6-11 7-11 8-11 9-11 10-11 11-11 12-11 1-12 2-12 3-12 4-12 5-12 6-12 7-12 8-12 9-12 10-12 11-12 12-12 1-13 2-13 3-13 4-13 5-13 6-13 7-13 8-13 9-13 10-13 11-13 12-13 1-14 2-14 3-14 4-14 5-14 6-14 7-14 8-14 9-14 10-14 11-14 12-14 1-15 2-15 3-15 4-15 5-15 6-15 7-15 8-15 9-15 10-15 11-15 12-15 1-16 2-16 3-16 4-16 5-16 6-16 7-16 8-16 9-16 10-16 11-16 12-16 1-17 2-17 3-17 4-17 5-17 6-17 7-17 8-17 9-17 10-17 11-17 12-17 1-18 2-18 3-18 4-18 5-18 6-18 7-18 8-18 9-18 10-18 11-18 12-18 1-19 2-19 3-19 4-19 5-19 6-19 7-19 8-19 9-19 10-19 11-19 12-19 1-20 2-20 3-20 4-20 5-20 6-20 7-20 8-20 9-20 10-20 11-20 12-20 1-21 2-21 3-21 4-21 5-21 6-21 7-21 8-21 9-21 10-21 11-21 12-21 1-22 2-22 3-22 4-22 5-22 6-22 7-22 8-22 9-22 10-22 11-22 12-22 1-23 2-23 3-23 4-23 5-23 6-23 7-23 8-23 9-23 10-23 11-23 12-23 1-24 2-24 3-24 4-24 5-24 6-24 7-24 8-24 9-24 10-24


"I need a wall - like the US needs - but not quite as long - with a door and about 300sf of flooring." -Carpentry customer texting me about work he needs done.

Thursday, 11-28-24: Thanksgiving, my birthday, my Amazon order.
Today is not only Thanksgiving but it is also my birthday. Where is my bootleg crap-cake that I've posted on this bootleg site in the past? Guy looks around for it...

^CLASSIC WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP NOT EVEN IN ENGLISH HEHEHE.

My day was all over the map today, as usual. First was midnight today when I was at the restaurant that I fuckin' hate doing dishes. I finished around 0100 and normally we aren't open so late on a Wednesday, but the day before Thanksgiving Day is the busiest drinking day of the year (or so they say) so we did decent business. Not all-time great, but better than I expected. I closed dish for a few hours after I helped my awesome wife host the usual trivia. One of the categories was Disney and I knew zero of the ten answers on that one. ZERO. What a bunch of crap! I know some Disney and I like a lot of their movies, but I'm not that big of a fan. Moana is fantastic, one of their best of all-time, and part 2 just hit theaters so a couple questions were about that flick. Did I know who The Rock was in that movie? NOPE. The correct answer is a "Demi-God." I already stopped caring...

I ate an edible, thanks Andrea, and I bivouaced around 0145. I got my ass up before 0800 so I could shovel in some food, throw some stuff in the truck and get to Eddington to work on our soon-to-be home. Every time we go up there we bring some stuff so in theory the actual move will be easier. I worked there for close to 4 hours before I had to head home, clean up, and get to the bar for our usual Thanksgiving meal. Every year for the past four years we've done Thanksgiving at the restaurant with friends, co-workers, and family and my awesome wife was there all morning doing the meal while I did carpentry. CARPENTRY > COOKING. Fuck cooking I hate it. I'll just eat sandwiches and Lunchables hehehe. Just kidding I do eat fairly healthy. I think? I'm not FAT so that counts for something. Too bad I don't feel healthy becuase my life is a toilet.

We had a fantastic meal with good friends and family before getting out of there as the rain turned to snow. We are under a WINTER STORM WARNING, but so far it's not terrible. We have a couple slushy inches of snow on the ground and it ends just after midnight when I will be passed the hell out after a couple drinks and an edible. It's not too bad outside now and this is one of those storms that crept up on us. For days we were expecting a glancing blow and mostly rain then yesterday here comes the WINTER STORM WARNING. What a bunch of crap!

We are NOT ready for winter. I have work to do outside not only at Treats Falls but also here at our house. We don't have plowing set up for our new place in Eddington, and we need it with a 300-foot-long driveway. I don't really know how long the driveway is I just made a guess, but that feels about right. 100 yards, give or take. I love it up there, but it's not even close to winter-ready. Thankfully the forced hot air furnace works great because it's essentially new still. Back to oil for us!

I had a bunch of texts to reply to, mostly "happy birthday" and/or "happy Thanksgiving." It's nice of so many of my friends and family to reach out. Every several years my birthday falls on Thanksgiving. I don't give a fuck about my birthday and I wish we could just skip it.

My awesome wife and I watched a little TV, some AEW wrestling (recorded from last night and we FF through a lot of it) and talked about our soon-to-be new home. We argreed we need to take the ceiling down in what will be the kitchen area so that adds more work. However, I think I can get Chris and Mike to help. They've been helping me at Treats Falls, but we are shut down on that job due to the weather and my overall lack of precious... precious time. We tried to work on that garage yesterday, but after only an hour we got a very annoying and unexpected period of heavy drizzle that soaked everything. Then it turned into a little wet snow. What a bunch of crap! I was PISSED. All my tools were getting wet and it wasn't safe so I had to shut it down. We had just put the first piece of Advantex in as well, but being 14-feet in the air on a wet surface is not ideal. Plus the adhesive was not working anymore beause the joists got too wet. Gods damn it! The sun did come out later in the afternoon, but it was one of those days were nothing actually even dried out. Working outside this time of year SUCKS.

After Kat bivouaced I came out into the living room to order some stuff on Amazon. I hate online shopping for stuff I just need when I know it's near "Black Friday" and everyone else is also shopping online. Hopefully this holds true and I get my stuff next week:

^The racquetball stuff isn't a priority, but I want those 10 light cans for our new place. I haven't gotten jack shit for exercise in the traditional sense lately. No lifting weights, no yoga, no jogging. However, I have played racquetball a couple times including some decent games vs. Mike Tuesday. I've had tennis elbow again from doing all the carpentry and that has also been quite a bit of exercise so I'm not just sitting around gaining weight. I do have CBD "recovery" cream that helps a lot for my tennis elbow. Mudding and sanding is the worst for it, but using the drill, hammer, etc a lot also causes it to flare up. It wasn't a problem for a couple years, but now that I'm bigtime back into carpentry it's the price I pay.

We have to be out of this house in 12 days. OMG! How close are we to being ready? NOT CLOSE AT ALL. Tomorrow I have to replace our bathroom floor and then this weekend I should be able to get back to Eddington. Maybe? Hopefully! I also plan to pay Chris and Mike to help me in Eddington this coming week since we won't be doing that garage. The extended forecast is ten pounds of shit stuffed into a five-pound bag. This time of year even good-forecast days can suck. Like yesterday. Forecast was 42, NW breeze, party cloudy and at noon we were getting heavy drizzle and snow and 35 degrees. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! I had long johns on and was all bundled up so I wasn't cold, but once it got all wet I did start to get a little chilly. Nothing horrible since I was close to home and fresh clothes.

I'm "celebrating" my 49th birthday by listening to the Pet Shop Boys on YouTube as I write this bootleg update that almost no one will ever read. Earlier I listened to some Def Leppard's Hysteria and that seems perfectly appropriate considering it's not only my favorite band of all-time but also my favorite album. Soon I'm out like a fat kid in dodge ball to maybe watch a little football before I bivouac. Busy day tomorrow, busy day the day after, and busy December. I need more than 24 hours in a day gods damn it. Whose fault is this mess? MINE!

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Friday, 11-22-24: A small break before going back to work at the place I hate.
Owning this stupid fuckin' restaurant really destroyed my day today, and it's destroying everything about my existence on this planet. I worked there 12 hours, give or take, and I have to go back to work more before I can bivouac. What a bunch of crap! I had to set up for a daytime event, a really nice 50th wedding anniversary that I also bartended for (they didn't drink much) before I had to help during the dinner-hour. I also had to help clean up after the event, book a last-minute event for next week, and then my dishwasher tapped out because he was feeling sick so that sucked even more. Thankfully my awesome wife got someone else in there, but he's only there temporarily until I go back to close it down.

On top of all that sales are down ever since the disaster that was the failed sale from the end of last month three weeks ago. What a bunch of crap! That daytime event really carried us today or else sales would really be bad. Friday nights haven't been so great lately; last Friday we closed 45 minutes early because there were almost no customers left. I was totally fine with that because I just want to be done with it all, and I will be soon.

Kat and I decided yesterday we are done as of Dec 31. If there is no buyer for the place we are going to close and be done with it. The only way I'll stay there into 2025 is if we have a GOOD buyer who needs a little time to get the sale final and to take over properly. We can't make money there and I stopped caring. I hate the place and I really would prefer to just close tomorrow for good, but we owe it to the staff and to people who booked events to forge on for another 5 weeks. Plus keeping it going gives us our only chance to sell.

I called our broker around midday and told him we are all done Dec 31 so it's time to figure out another price-drop. I'll get stupid cheap with the place if I have to because something would be better than nothing. The broker thinks he can get us a good offer by next week as he has some fish on the line, but I've done plenty of fishing and until the fish are in the net and in the boat having one on the line doesn't mean shit. At this point getting my life back means more than the money, but I am willing to work there for a few more weeks because getting some precious... precious money for the place would be ideal.

I feel exhausted. I drank half a Red Bull 1.5 hours ago, but it really didn't work. What a bunch of crap! Adding to the fail that is my dog-shit life is the fact that we had a motor for a kitchen hood go down. I got a new motor, but it doens't perfectly fit and I don't know how to wire it. I don't understand the wiring diagram because there are four different options. Thankfully Sparkies are ready, willing, and able to do it for me. Unfortunately by the time I got up onto the roof yesterday to start working on it a heavy drizzle started. It rained all day today, it rains all day tomorrow, and it will be very windy and cold Sunday so I guess I have to deal with it Monday. What a bunch of crap!

I have so much work to do that I can't possibly get it all done so now I have to decide what work I will just skip. Our soon-to-be home in Eddington is nowhere close to ready and I can barely make time to work on it. I did get quite a bit done there Wednesday in about 5 total hours, but the stupid fuckin restaurant took me away too much yesterday and of course today. I'm still hopeful I can finish the living room and bedroom areas of the place before we start living there, but I'm not really even sure I can do that. I have to make this list a priority if we want precious... precious money:

^I didn't post the second page, but the big one there is something I've known I've had to do for a couple years but I suck at life so I never got on it. I have to cut out a section of the bathroom floor and replace what is most likely water damage from the toilet area. I'm sure the wax seal leaked some and over time that is all-bad. Thankfully it's a small bathroom so redoing the floor shouldn't take forever, but I bet the entire job will eat up a whole day. Gods damn it! Whose fault is that?! MINE.

I'm so overwhelmed all the time that I never finished some things here at our house. I am totally failing at life right now, and it is embarassing. What a bunch of crap!

I should be looking forward to a new start in Eddington, but I have too much to do so forget that. I could hire some of the work out, but we are dangerously low on funds and when I work on our new place I'm making decisions on the fly. We still haven't 100% laid out what will be our kitchen area, but we did score an awesome deal at Home Depot yesterday on new appliances. Somehow we got a nice fridge, oven, washer, dryer, stand-up freezer, and under-cabinet microwave for "only" $3089. That is a lot of dough, but full price with no sale would have been closer to $4500-$5000. OMG.

The big stand-up freezer will be great to have for deer meat and other food. I can't shoot a deer because I fucked every aspect of my shitty life away and I can't go hunting at all this season, but Dad shot a 145-lb 8-pointer and plans to load me up with meat since they have too much. Not going hunting at all this fall is depressing and sad. It's my own dumbass fault, as usual.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Monday, 11-18-24: A 50th anniversary and more work stuff.
Mom and Dad's 50th anniversary was Friday the 15th, three days ago. I did call them Thursday night to wish them a happy anniversary and I went to visit yesterday. Mom worked all day on their actual anniversary because that's how she rolls; they are not big into celebrations of their own milestones and I guess that's where I get my own aversion to celebrating stupid crap like my own birthday.

Jason and I had talked earlier this year about getting Doug back so we could all be together for the incredible occasion, but sadly that didn't work out. We wanted to fly his ass back as a surprise, but things don't always work out the way they are planned. Nevertheless it was a nice visit and all I got for them was a card. No other gift. What a bunch of crap! I SUCK.

Hey I took yesterday off from work. OMG RARE! However, I did stop at Lowe's on the way home for 15 minutes to buy some lumber for this job so I guess I did just a little work:

^I took that picture around midday/early PM. Mike is cutting the next board and Chris is way in the background hoisting a 160" tall 2x8 for a wall stud. Those are some serious walls and moving them is work. We got it to the point we became pretty good at it; we'd build a section no more than 8 feet due to overall weight and install three of the nearly 14-foot studs. Then we'd toe-nail the other studs after the fact. We now have all the walls up 100% for the huge first floor, but I still have to do a couple more headers for windows and doors so I need more lumber. Plus I need three more 2x12x16 for the joists above for what should eventually be a second floor.

I'm anxious to finish the garage framing and plywood so I can shut it down for a while, most likely all winter, so I can work on our soon-to-be new home. Today was decent weather with a high temp close to 50 so working on that garage made sense. There won't be many more 50-degree days this year. What a bunch of crap! Our average high temp is probably closer to 45 now. Soon enough we will have snow, but no snow is expected this week.

I'll work on that garage again tomorrow then it's back to Eddington to work on our new place. I took some pictures last Friday after I framed what will be our bedroom wall:

^Not framed yet, but I did get one with the framing:

^That little area off to the right might be a little office or, more likely, a play area for the grandkids. I'm standing in what will be the living room in that photo. I did get some sheetrock up, but not much because I had to get into the attic crawl-space and run wires. Plus I had to work at the restaurant that night. What a bunch of crap!

Speaking of the restaurant, we don't have a new buyer yet but I talked to our sales broker today and he has some fish on the line. Not sure he can reel them in, but I got the sense from talking to him that he is confident he can get someone to make a reasonable offer soon. I'll believe it when I see it, but it sure would be nice.

I also have to do some work on our house so we can officially get it sold. The buyer was going back and forth all day and sent three different contingency bullshit things, but thankfully Jody handed that like a boss for us so the final one isn't so bad. I don't have precious... precious time to work on this place, but it needs to be done so I will make the time. It all should have been done in the past but I started to fail and life and that includes maintenance on our own house. What a bunch of crap!

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thursday, 11-14-24: The ripple effect of my failed dog-shit life decisions.
We should not still own a restaurant. However, we still own a restaurant. What a bunch of crap! Not selling the place a couple weeks ago really sucked. A lot. There is a ripple-effect of us still owning that gods damned place, and my bootleg once-awesome F150 is a part of that. I can't afford a newer truck so I keep dumping precious... precious money into my 14-year old truck at an alarming rate. For the past couple weeks the thing hasn't been running well at all and the power steering took a dump so that meant I had to get it to the shop ASAP.

The one shop I prefer to use lost all its help so the guy said he couldn't get me in until Dec 10. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! Thankfully Midas got me in and they treated me well, but I also had engine issues and I had to drop another $3465 to get everything mostly done. I need a newer truck really badly, but financially we are a Sarlaac Pit and if I had one I would get boozed up and jump right in. I'm not drunk enough to do that yet, but I have had a few...

^I feel like throwing myself into one of those, but I don't know where to find one. Tattoine? How do I get to this fictional place?

I'd be a fucking idiot to commit suicide by jumping into a Sarlaac Pit because it takes 1000 years to get digested. NO THANK YOU DO NOT WANT. I'd rather just get obliterated and freeze to death. It's been close to cold enough for that lately, but not quite. I think to do it right it's better if temps are below 20. I haven't researched that at all; I'm just making a dumb guess.

FUCK MY LIFE.

^AWARDED TO ME FOR BEING A FAILURE.

I am really sad and depressed and I really don't want to be alive anymore. What a bunch of crap! The only reason I didn't get wasted and pass out in the Mad Kat freezer yet is I feel badly for people who will be sad when I'm gone. I can't imagine the mess it would cause if my own wife went down there to do inventory and found her dumb, dead husband passed out with no heartbeat in the freezer like Jack Torrence from The Shining. I won't do that to her or to my parents. Maybe one day when Mom and Pop check out if my life is still ten pounds of shit stuffed into a five-pound bag I will reconsider my options...

I am a little hopeful that I can fix my bootleg, totally-failed life. We have a place in Eddington now that seems lovely, but I'm too far against a deadline to really appreciate it. Yesterday there were turkeys running around in the yard then I saw a bobcat. Today I saw 3 deer as I was leaving, right in the back corner of the overgrown back yard area maybe 75 yards away. This fall is totally, 100% ruined for me to enjoy the outdoors and that sucks. A lot. I can't even go hunting with my father who might not even be here to hunt again next fall. I sure hope he is, but his health is not the best these days. Gods damn it!

^What will be our bedroom up at Chemo Pond Rd. I did that Tuesday afternoon...

^Another look at what will be our bedroom from another angle, photo taken yesterday after I did some cleaning. The living room will be off to the right and there will be a wall just past that little pile of lumber.

That fucking restaurant really trashed my life so we have important decisions to make in about 6 weeks. So far there are no other buyers so we will drop the price again if needed and then most likely just close for good Jan 1 with no revenue at all and a lot of debt. Obviously that is a worst-case scenrio and I'd do everything possible to avoid that including letting key members of staff just take over or something creative. It all depends on how sales go from now until then, but tonight has been epic fail and what a bunch of crap all rolled up into one. Worst Thursday of the year. Thankfully yesterday was good and last week was... passable so there is still a little hope.

I am running out of hope.

Trump is president again so that does make me soewhat optimistic about the economic future of our once-great and now shit-show nation. He's a scumbag human, but he will put in the work and surround himself with like-minded people who will also put in the work to "Make America Great Again." What a fantastic slogan that really resonates with me. It should resonate with everyone.

America was great when my grandparents generation were around. A lot of them were racist assholes, but most of them were hard-working, God-fearing (sorry there probably is no god), productive members of society who didn't want welfare, handouts, and stupid shit like defund the police and everything related to social media. Now I'm rambling because I am half in the bag, I'm sad, and I'm unhappy. What a bunch of crap!

If the move to Eddington turns out to be a shit-show then I have no reason to live in Penobscot County ever again in my sad life. This is my last chance in this area and if it fails I might not even be in Maine anymore at this time next year. I do want things to get better up there because it's a beautiful, peaceful-seeming place. We shall see...

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sunday, 11-10-24: We pulled it off and will be moving to Eddington soon!
It took a lot of financial wrangling and a lot of work doing bank-required repairs, but we closed on the sale of Chemo Pond Rd Friday afternoon and now we co-own the properties with Dillon and Debbie. Oh Jesus, hell ya! One house is theirs and the other is ours since there are two buildings there. One building is a huge garage with living space above. It needs a lot more work, but it's ours now and we can make it what we want.

We had to sell two houses to get this deal done. Well, we really only needed Dillon and Debbie to sell their house to make it official, but we do need to sell our house to pay for repairs and upgrades we want for the new place. Plus we owe Dillon and Debbie half the up-front 20% down and all the other closing fees. We can pay that in about a month when our house is *hopefully* sold. We are under contract to close Dec 10 in exactly one month.

I worked a couple hours up at our new place yesterday. I would have worked more, but we still have the restaurant in our life and we are back to working there on weekends. What a bunch of crap! One thing that did make me happy about the restaurant these past few days of reopening is how fantastic our regular customers are. Everyone went above and beyond to be supportive to us and sales weren't as bad as I had feared. We had to close for 8 days so there are many people who think we went out of business...

First on the list as owners of our soon-to-be home: RIP OUT TWO GROSS CARPETS. Fuck carpets they are nasty. One of the rugs smelled like pee so it's gone now. Thankfully no stains appear to have bled through into the subfloor. When the plywood decking gets stains from pee it's all-bad and you can be stuck with the smell forever. I did take a couple pictures:

Today my awesome wife and I talked about how we will remodel the kitchen. Obviously cabinets along the wall to likely form an L-shape with the fridge on the end to the left. We think we also have room for an island near the middle; the wall on the left is not a load-bearing wall so that is coming down this week and the entire kitchen area will be a lot bigger.

So I have one month to get our new home ready. Can I pull it off? I think so and I hope so. It won't be 100%, but it doesn't need to be perfect. I just don't want sheetrock dust and crap everywhere after we do move in.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thursday, 11-07-24: I think this is actually happening. Maybe? Hopefully!
We have a closing date tomorrow for Chemo Pond Rd in Eddington so I think this thing is actually going to happen for us. Unfortunately the financial side of things was a shit-show and took a lot of massaging on our end to pull off. A LOT. Losing the Mad Kat sale last week was incredibly crippling to the point I had to go meet with a lawyer to explore legal options for the near future. What a bunch of crap! We need new surroundings more than ever.

I had been putting in quite a bit of work at Chemo Pond Rd last week and on Monday afternoon the inspector from the bank came and signed off on everything. I got a lot of trim and misc done including quite a bit of work on what will be our home. I had to remove this bootleg trim and install sheetrock:

^There was all kinds of areas, especially trim work, that was never finished. I only did some of it to pass for the bank. We don't own the place yet so doing too much doesn't make sense.

I also had other trim, lights to hang, decks to repair, etc. It didn't need to be perfect, but it did need to be better than what was there before:

^Photo taken before I did any of the work. I will have to post photos of what it looks like now, but not until probably next week because I'll be really busy. Again. Yes, fuck my life.

I spent time the past three days working on this huge garage:

I did have help the past couple days for a few hours each day, and we got a lot done. That photo was taken yesterday and today we installed a lot more joists along the top. I would have liked to work there more than 4.5 total hours, but the restaurant we shouldn't own anymore chewed up my precious... precious time.

We did get the restaurant reopened yesterday and had mediocre sales. A lot of regulars showed up to support us that was awesome to see. I fear we suffered a huge amount of damage from being closed for a week with no clarity on the future plan, but we won't really get a sense of the damage for a week or so. Tonight sales aren't great, but they are 10% better than this time last year so I can't really complain.

We dropped the asking price for the restaurant to $199,000 down from $249,000. If no one makes an offer we will keep dropping the price until someone does. We need to be done with that place by early 2025 at the latest because F that we need to rebuild our epic-failer life. Worst case we will just close and bankrupt the business unless sales can hit certain numbers that make it viable. Will that happen? 50/50 like almost everything in my shitty life right now. What a bunch of crap!

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Saturday, 11-02-24: At what point do I hit critical mass and melt down for good? NOT SOLD!
In the world of nuclear physics there is a point of critical mass, total meltdown, fin, the end, you are pwned. Right now I'm closing in on that and if I don't fix my shit soon I'm probably done and I'll go pound a handle of liquor and pass out in a snowbank. I can be frozen and brought back to life like Stallone and Snipes in the awesome and ridiculous movie, Demolition Man.

I am not suicidal just yet, but the path is leading me that way so I need a Robert Frost poem to intervene so I can find a new path. However, poetry and art FUCKIN SUCK so nevermind. The only one who can fix this is me, myself, and I. It's a total disaster right now on all fronts of my life and I am really not sure if I can recover. If a few things go our way I think I can. Maybe? Hopefully!

I've had so much going on over the past 9 days since my last bootleg update that I can't even fit it all in. Bullet points maybe?

-Code shut down my garage job because of permit issues. They did let me get back to work on it, but I've had no precious... precious time this past week so I haven't started back up. The permit for the foundation was approved three years ago, but the prior code person blew it and shouldn't have approved it, so if not for that the job would be over.

-We got our house under contract last night for $269,000. We listed for $329,000, we only had two showings over a month, so we dropped it to $309,000 and we're lucky we even got an offer because the market is ICE COLD right now. What a bunch of crap! This guy had offered $250k, we said no, he bumped it to $260k, we said no, and now we have a deal. We don't like the price, but we don't have a choice because we're pwned.

-The restaurant is not sold. THE BUYERS BACKED OUT ONE DAY BEFORE THE SALE. More on that in a minute because it's catastrophic and that is the thing that might end me. I can't even begin to put into words how crippling it is.

-I've been working up in Eddington at our soon-to-be new place trying to get it to pass a final bank inspection. We were going to have plenty of precious... precious money to close the deal, but we are now very poor and that sucks. A lot.

-It's hunting season and I can't go deer hunting. I thought I could go later this month, but now I think it's just canceled. I'll barely have time to even go celebrate Mom and Dad's 50th wedding anniversary with them in a couple weeks.

-We had farewell parties for the restaurant that aren't really our farewell. We had a private party Wednesday night that was a lot of fun, but it was bittersweet. I ended up with cake all over my face, but so did Caitlin that chick could not fool my ass. Okay, she did, but I was mostly ready.

-The Yankees lost to the Dodgers in the World Series, the Celtics are 5-1 to start the season, and the Patriots are 2-6. I have almost no time to even watch sports. Gods damn it!

-The presidential election is in only 3 days, Trump vs. Harris, and if you vote for Harris I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more. Trump is insane, but he won't fuck around. All Harris does is fuck around.

The biggest story of my shitty life, and it's a HUGE story, is the epic fail that was the restaurant sale that didn't happen. We had a contract in place and the people who wanted to buy the business canceled the sale the day before. I was pulling into what should be our new home in Eddington to do some work, I saw a deer in the yard, and my sales rep was calling me to tell me the buyers cut their offer in half. OH HELL NO. Then, two hours later after some failed negotiations, they called the whole thing off.

WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

This is a fucking catastrophe for us on an epic scale. We were planning on getting a check for $90,000 yesterday and instead we got nothing. ZERO. We are closed, the new owners wanted the place closed for at least a few days, and that's why I am on this bootleg site right now on a Saturday night. We were also supposed to get monthly payments for the next year, enough to cover all our bills plus extra, so we are totally pwned.

Financially we are really screwed. I can't even write that much about the specifics of it all because I will be meeting with a laywer and we are likely going to court over it. You can't just sign a contract then back out of it the day before it's set to take effect. We did nothing wrong, and they seemed to have done a lot wrong. A LOT. They got upset because of social media negative feedback about them, but that's not our fault gods damn it. They wanted to close and cancel four events, they wanted to cut karaoke, and a lot of the staff didn't want to work for them. I don't do social media at all, but those people who do social media sounded off about it all.

We are screwed right now. We have a closed restaurant, we told the staff to get unemployment, and we have little inventory. We don't even know when and if we can get open again, but it seems likely we can open midweek next week. We have an AMAZING staff who all agreed to come back, and all of them even agreed to forgo final vacaion pay so we have enough precious... precious money to restock and get the doors open.

The magnitude of this shit-show is hard to explain. Now we have to reopen and I have to work there 3-4 days a week and most of that will be washing dishes since we lost a couple dishwashers. We also lost a couple cooks because they got other jobs. I don't blame them for that at all, but I do blame the buyers who bailed out.

The bad look for the business can't be quantified yet either, not until we get back open and see who shows back up, but the one thing that could save us is the fact we have a GREAT staff right now and many loyal, fantastic customers who plan to come back when we open and who weren't coming for the new owners.

So we went from being retired from the restaurant business to getting thrown right back into it all with about 48 hours. I did strongly consider just closing for good, but if we reopen we *might* find another buyer. We dropped the asking price already from $250k down to $199k, and if no one buys at that price point I'm sure we will lower it again. The people backing out of the sale so close to the finish line cost is tens of thousands of dollars and I'm thinking at minimum we should ask for $50k in restitution, lost revenue, and now I'm going to be working there when I should be doing carpentry for twice as much money. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

I am beyond stressed and upset, and Kat is as well. I am so sick of worrying about money that it's going to put me into the grave. We should have an extra $90k in the bank right now but that fell apart. To be clear, that $90k was NOT all profit. We have tens of thousands of dollars in final bills to settle for the restaurant.

If the sale of our house falls apart and there is no buyer for the restaurant next month we are done. It will be bankruptcy and either death (depending on how drunk I get and if I can go pass out and freeze to death or not) or living in some small apartment and looking for another job. No carpentry, no doing taxes, no nothing and really no reason to even be alive anymore. Worst case I really don't give a shit if I die. I don't want to commit suicide because everyone will think I'm a pussy so maybe I can go sunbathe under power lines and get cancer so I can die from a sickness and then I'm not the selfish asshole? Sadly I can't sunbathe under power lines this time of year because it's too friggin' cold.

It was 75 Thursday and 73 yesterday wow! Too bad I could barely be outside because my life is this more than ever right now:

Fuck my fuckin' life. The end.