(Last updated: 8-13-2018)

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR ME AS A PERSON THEN I ADVISE YOU TO TURN AWAY NOW. CLICK THE 'X' IN THE TOP CORNER OF YOUR SCREEN! RUN, FLEE, ESCAPE. IF YOU ARE A FAMILY MEMBER THEN YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ENTER BEYOND THIS POINT!

Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.

If you want to know who the hell I am and why I spent my hard-earned $14.99 to register this domain and to share my thoughts with the world then you can click here to find out. I have no update schedule so if you don't like it then you can ggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttt oooooooouuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt!



"What department is the worst one to work in?" -Me to Katherine regarding her grocery store job
"They're all terrible!" -Katherine

Click here to check out my bootleg quotes page.

 

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Why are you still here? Chances are pretty damn good that I WILL insult you in some fashion if you choose to continue beyond this point. The purpose of this site is to entertain me, and I am often entertained at the expense of others. Therefore, prepare to be slandered. A lot. It's still not to late to leave with your feelings intact!

Monday, 8-13-18: SHUT DOWN BY THE DEP.
Gods damn it the DEP (Department of Environmental Protection) showed up today at our new property and shut my siding removal down. What a bunch of crap!

The day started off on a high note when the dumpster arrived right around 0800 when I rolled in after doing some exercises. I got started right away removing the old asbestos-laced siding, and then Kat arrived to do some debris removal from the upstairs so we were really making great progress. Kat had to leave later in the morning for an appointment, but then Travis showed up so once again there was some serious work getting done. Lots of junk going into the dumpster and lots of siding getting peeled off the place.

I set Travis to work and then I took my lunch. I got back early afternoon to show the place to Dillon and Debbie, and Travis was already there working so that was convenient. Travis is Debbie's cousin, and the three of them are kicking tires on the place right now. They seem to like it, but it is not certain yet whether or not they will take the place. When Debbie and Dillon were taking a look at the downstairs a pickup truck rolled in so I stepped out to say hello, and that is when I was greeted by a guy from the DEP. He said someone called it in so he had to drive up from Rockland to investigate. He said sorry but since it is a commercial/rental building I had to shut it down and hire professional asbestos people. OMG.

I knew someone was going to make at least one phone call about the place so I already have my permits from the city. I told them I was going to replace the siding, they said ok, and I got to it. I also had a feeling someone would bitch about the asbestos siding so I got a lot of it removed Saturday. Had I worked yesterday I would have gotten it all, but as-is I pretty much have three of the four sides stripped right down. Sadly the front and the entire garage are not yet stripped, and the debris all over the place has to be left alone until I can get professionals in there. A remediation contractor will not be cheap so this should be fun.

I GOT BUSTED BY THE DEP OMG WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

Thankfully I did not have to pay a fine. The guy said if it is our primary residence then we can remove it ourselves, but since it is not then too bad so sad. I was tempted to lie and say it was going to be our main residence, but then the guy was saying how they follow up and there are steep fines for noncompliance. I also don't want to lie so I'll take my shutdown like a man. At least the guy wasn't a total dick about it, and thankfully we can still work everywhere else on the place. We just can't mess with the asbestos siding anymore. If we do then I am pwned and will have to be on some shit-list and pay what he implied are pretty steep fines. I asked him how much the fines are because if it was a low number I would have gone right back to work and just paid. However, he said it is worse than just paying for a professional contractor to come finish it up. The contractor has to notify the DEP as well so I can't just hire some Craigslist droolbucket (or Jeremy!)

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Sunday, 8-12-18: Loan #2 = FINALLY done. Progress on our new property so far.
I think my second bank loan, the refinance of the house across the street from my bootleg office, is finally all done. I hope! The closing was scheduled for 1400 Friday so I got there at 1350 ready to roll. The bank lady whom I had never even actually met was thankfully there and seemingly eager to get my loan closed, but the notary was not there. Hey, no prob patience is a virtue. Unfortunately, when 1415 came around and there was no notary that was all bad. Apparently the way they do business is a third party company called SERVICELINK does all their loan papers and sends a notary. Servicelink is in Pennsylvania so they have to sub it all out, and the bank chick told me how much she hates Servicelink because they suck. OMG epic fail!

Finally after 25 minutes of waiting and small-talk she told me to take off and go run errands while she switched to her plan B, have it all done right at the bank. In my mind I was thinking "All I wanna know is why? Why was this not the plan all along? Why does a third party have to do this at all?" When I did loan #1 at Bangor Savings Bank a couple weeks ago George made it so easy. A few signatures, some small-talk, and then I had my precious... precious money. I signed the loan papers at 0900 and had my bank check by 0930 for the purchase of our newest property. I highly recommend them.

So I left the bank and went over to Lowe's while I waited. That was actually a fruitful trip because I found 8 windows for the upstairs so bye bye $1074 there. I still need one more upstairs window and all the windows for the downstairs, but the upstairs is priority #1 right now so I think I can start installing the new windows up there this week. I got back to the bank an hour later, and the chick told me the notary was in a car accident but don't worry notary #2 would be there at 1700. She said the bank could not use their own in-house notary due to rules and shit so I had to leave and come back again. What a bunch of crap! Thankfully they waived some $425 fee for my burden, at least so they say. I don't even have my copies of the paperwork because when I got back to sign it all at 1650 I was in a hurry and rushed through it. Maybe my papers are online somewhere; I'll worry about that later.

A funny coincidence, the second notary they got is the same lady who was our wedding officiant. How cool is that?! We serously rushed through all the paperwork because Friday was Dillon's 23rd birthday and we had a 1700 family meal planned that was on hold thanks to my bootleg bank. I guess I'll get my paperwork tomorrow. Maybe? Hell I don't even know when the precious... precious money goes into my account. What a bunch of crap!


^To my useless bank that could barely even finish what should have been a pretty simple refinance loan. Epic fail indeed.

I spent roughly 5.5 hours yesterday removing the old, bootleg siding on our newest property. The siding peels off without too much difficulty, but there is a good chance that it is laced with asbestos so I had to work cautiously and with a mask. Thankfully the stuff is ceramic/slate-like so it doesn't turn to dust when disturbed. I'm sure a little dust goes airborne, though. Asbestos = what a bunch of crap! I stripped down the entire back side and a good amount of the south side. Here is the back side now:

Underneath the siding is tarpaper, but I will still use housewrap before we install vinyl siding. The siding won't get installed for a few more weeks, though, at least on that back side. First I'd like to get those trees removed because installing new siding and then having the trees cut is not smart. If a tree branch hits the building I'd rather have that happen before the siding is brand new.

Speaking of the trees, I met with Dave yesterday, the same fellow who removed a maple from our front yard a couple years ago. I thought maybe the guy retired because I called him a couple days ago and hadn't heard back, but he did call me yesterday and was able to stop in to see the place. He looked at the HUGE maple off to the right in the photo above (behind the building on what is the soouth side) and said F that he ain't touching that. What a bunch of crap! I thought he would pass on the job, but then he looked around some more and decided he could cut that large maple way back and totally remove those three big white pines in the back. I don't blame him for not wanting to do the maple because there are live power lines on that side. I expected total tree removal would be a few thousand so I roughly budgeted $5000 for tree removal. Dave's price for most of the trees to get hauled on: $2750. Works for me! Unfortunately, he is booked out a few weeks so he can't get it done until next month. Oh well, not a huge problem. I have plenty else to keep me busy there in the interim.

The old slate/ceramic/asbestos siding is heavy. I mean it is HEAVY. Each piece doesn't seem too bad, but a bunch of them together really adds up fast. My plan was to use contractor clean-up bags to bag it all up, but after three bags I scarapped that plan. You can only fill a bag about halfway before it becomes almost too heavy to lift and starts to rip apart. What a bunch of crap! So my new plan is to bring my utility trailer over there next Saturday and haul most of it over to the landfill. Hopefully they can take it at the landfill because I don't want to put it into the dumpster.

I wanted to get all the old siding removed before the code guys come Tuesday morning to do a walkthrough with me, but I don't see that happening. I don't want to work on the place today at all, and I think there is too much siding still left on the place to get it all removed tomorrow. Oh well no big problem. Tomorrow I should at least be able to peel the north and south sides completely down to the tarpaper, and then only the front will still have the old, bootleg asbestos-laced siding. The garage will also still have that siding, but I'm not too concerned about the garage right now.

On the inside I have been having Travis and Daniel doing some demolition. I did some demolition myself, mostly in the kitchen, and now the kitchen looks like this:

Cabinets = hauled on. Unfortunately I could not get a dumpster there for the weekend so we have had to stage all the debris in corners of all the rooms. No worries, though. Tomorrow when the dumpster comes we can start filling it up. I plan to have a 40-yard dumpster there for one week so I think in that time we can mostly fill it up and then get it the hell out of there. After a week the dumpster costs $10/day to keep there so F that!

The Red Sox have won three more consecutive games including a doubleheader sweep yesterday in Baltimore and are now an amazing 84-35 on the season. Oh Jesus hell ya! They are an incredible team this year, one of the best Red Sox teams of all-time. Hopefully they stay healthy and motivated right through the fall playoffs and can win another World Series. They are 9.5 games ahead of the Yankees in the standings. Awesome!

Alright turds, all two of youz, I am out of here to go do things now. Goonies never say die!

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Friday, 8-10-18: It's still kinda Thursday night.
All I wanna know is why? Why is it 0136 on a Thursday night / early Friday morning and I am awake and on this bootleg site that no one will ever read? We bivouaced around 2130, I fell asleep for a bit, but then I woke up and tossed and turned and felt wide awake for quite a while. What a bunch of crap! Finally about a half-hour ago I just got up. I'll drink a coffee brandy and milk and go back to bed shortly, and hopefully I can sleep for a few more hours before I have to start my day today/tomorrow. I do not want to drink any alcohol, but in the right amount from time to time a little bit does help put me at ease and help me bivouac. Especially when I have a lot on my mind and/or when I am not feeling well. Tonight I feel good, but I have a lot on my mind.

I keep thinking about the property that we recently bought and that I started working on this week. We got a lot done yesterday thanks to help from Travis and Daniel, but I know not every day will go as well. Travis took down a bunch of the upstairs ceilings, Daniel worked on removing the downstairs ceiling and misc. junk, and I spent half my day on the exterior removing the old original siding. I'm pretty sure the siding is asbestos-laced cement board, and my suspicions were confirmed later that day by some online research. Then I found this from the city:

Oh Yeah baby, asbestos for sure! I definitely do NOT want to pay an exhorbitant amount of our precious... precious money for remediation so hopefully I can get all that siding mostly removed before any neighbors pitch a fit. From my reaearch it seems this type of asbestos siding is not really even hazardous because it is solid and comes off relatively easily, but someone will likely whine and cavetch about it. As long as I am not sanding or grinding it the fibers do not go airborne and I can get it the hell out of there. I hope! I was pretty smart and dropped off a letter to the neighbors introducing ourselves, and that paid dividends this morning in a major way.

Before I started working on the exterior I was in the kitchen removing the old, bootleg cabinets. I heard someone hollering and I thought "Oh great some stranger looking for work." I get that from time to time, some scumbag-looking passer-by seeing my ass at work and wanting to know if I will hire him. This property is VERY visible because it is right on North Main, a very busy road, so I know people will stop by and be nosy. Thankfully I went downstairs and was glad to meet one of the neighbors. He seemed very friendly and introduced me to the other neighbors, and we had a very nice talk. Even better, he wants to buy part of the property already. OMG!

The property that we bought is really an amazing place, and it can be viewed as two separate lots. Here is the city tax map that I just found:

For frame of reference, lot 409/32 to the right and bottom is Jimmy's Ice Cream. Yeah, we bought a bootleg building across the street from the local ice-cream parlor. How cool is that? Ice cream is great and if you disagree then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but ice-cream haters get even more hate than the usual. Especially if you have soft-serve. Soft-serve ice cream is the best of all time.

I digress. Lot 103 is the main "meat and potatos" of the property that contains both the building and a half-failing large garage. Lot 87 is just a grassy area that we thought we would use for parking because it is too small to develop into anything. Hell, I just wanted the property for that main building; I don't even care... whether or not I care about the garage or that bootleg little "bonus" piece of land located in number 87 above.

So the neighbor who lives nearby seems VERY interested in buying that #87 parcel. I had to think quickly on my feet, and both Kat and I had to discuss the possibility of selling that piece. 87 offers a huge parking potential with room for several vehicles so if we do sell it that means we need all our parking to fit onto our lot 103. The bootleg garage takes up all kinds of precious... precious space on the north side of lot 103 so if we do sell lot 87 then we would definitely need to demolish the garage. Thankfully the garage is bootleg, sagging, and probably structurally unsound so I think getting rid of the thing is a win. Unfortunately, demolition of that garage will be VERY costly since it is a huge garage.

^The garage has a furnace in it that looks like something from A Nightmare on Elm Street. Hehehehe. It seriously does look like a furnace that would eat your soul. I think everything about the garage is terrible so Kat and I have tentatively agreed that if we can sell lot 87 for the right price we can use that extra money to properly haul on the garage and turn all that space into parking. What is the right price? Well right now I don't know. I plan to ask the neighbor within the next few days to make us an offer. If the offer is lowball then they can F off and we will keep it, but if their offer is fair then we will likely accept and use that money to both remove and grade that garage space for a sweet parking area.

No wonder I can't friggin' sleep. I have numbers running through my half-chad brain, and I keep thinking about the fact that we bought a building that obviously has asbestos-laced siding. What a bunch of crap! I really hope I can get that siding off ASAP and then I won't have to do all that remediation shit. If I can get it all removed this weekend before someone can whine too much then awesome. It seems really stupid to even say, but I am not afraid of asbestos. Seems from my reading that a lot of what is out there regarding asbestos is a myth. Sorta like dry land in Waterworld. However, Kevin Kostner found his dry land so maybe it is not all myth. From what I have read dusty, airborne clouds of asbestos can cause major lung-cancer, but asbestos that is not airborne in tiny particularites is not that bad. Nevertheless you better gods damn well believe that I will NOT have Daniel, Travis, or any of my helpers working to remove that shit. I'll do it myself with extreme caution and leave the other work for the guys.

If I can get some occasional help from Daniel, Travis, and maybe others then we should be able to get that property done quickly. I realized some things this week already that are working to our advantage. Today we had a HUGE thunderstorm with a deluge of rain and the roof did not leak at all. Awesome! Also, I thought the walls would be plaster, but they appear to all be sheetrock so that is a huge win. Finally, the roof and walls all seems to be insulted so that is great. I budgeted $50k for the remodel of the place so if we can stay UNDER budget and get it all done then I will be very happy with that. Right now it is too early to know for sure what will happen [cough:asbestos:cough] but I see a few signals that indicate we *might* come in under budget. Hopefully!

Before I log off this turd-heap I just wanted to mention that if all goes as planned in about 12 hours I will be signing papers for my second refinance loan, and then I will have the funds needed to tackle all of the heavy-hitting things at that property including massive tree removal and the heating system upgrade. If things all fall into place in track then I will have that upstairs apartment ready for a tenant by the end if September. That is the goal right now anyway. I know there will be bumps along the way (gods damned asbestos!) so hopefully I can overcome any obstacles like a boss. For now I am out of here to try and sleep some more. Come on brain, shut down and stop thinking about everything. Big projects like this are a huge challenge that require a lot of my precious... precious research and time. I just want to go to bed now. The end. Fin.

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Thursday, 8-09-18: A great day yesterday and progress on the new place.
I took yesterday off from working on any of the bootleg properties so Kat and I could spend the day together. Since I am mostly self-employed no reason why I can't take a Wednesday off and make up for it on the weekend, right? Or just take a Wed off AND take the weekend off! However, I won't take this weekend off because I want to get some work done Saturday. I guess technically I didn't take 100% of the day off yesterday since I had to field and make a couple quick phone calls and emails with the bank regarding my refinance loan, but that didn't take long and it didn't really mess up the day at all. Plus it was well worth doing that little bit of correspondence because I now have a closing date and time for the funds. Tomorrow, 1400, right at the bank, cleared to close! OH JESUS HELL YA! I really hope this actually happens so I can get some heavy-hitting work done at our new property.

Kat and I went down the ocean with the dogs yesterday; it was a nice 30-ish mile drive down to Searsport and the weather, although humid again, was overall good. Yesterday was the first time since earlier last summer that we have taken the dogs to the water, and just like last time Tiger Lily loved swimming whereas Copper would only wade out to about his chest. The dogs seemed to have a GREAT time, and it was nice being there. Sweet Pea made a nice lunch, and overall it was very relaxing and much-needed for us both. Especially after my being gone all those days for blueberry raking last week.

We had enough time later in the day to do some shopping, to have a nice supper, and even to walk down to Jimmy's for some ice cream. Overall defiitely a great day, and helped to relieve some stress for both of us.

^Even my Sweet Pea got into the relatively warm ocean water, at least up to her knees anyway.

Today I am heading over to our new property to do some more demolition and planning. All the ceilings in the upstairs need to come down, and I need to finish removing old cabinets in the kitchen. If weather permits (showers forecast for a good part of today) then we will also start removing old siding on the exterior. Daniel is planning to work with me for at least part of the day so his help will be very much appreciated. I was also going to have Jeremy help me, but he is out like a fat kid in dodge ball. Probably at some homeless camp drunk off his ass right now. What a bunch of crap! I need to get a large demolition dumpster over there so I'll call Pine Tree Waste for that shortly. Hopefully they can get me one by the end of the week or else I'll be staging a lot of debris and that would suck. A lot.

On Tuesday afternoon I climbed my ass up to the roof and had a look for the first time ever. Yeah, for the first time EVER. We bought the place without even looking at the roof. What a bunch of crap! However, I budgeted for a new roof when I made my offer so I figured if the roof was in good shape it's just a bonus for us.

From the ground level the roof looks flat, but that is a feature of the trim. The roof actually does have a slope down towards the back, and as expeced it is a rubber roof typical of flat-ish roofs. I don't think the roof leaks right now, but I can tell that rubber is older and near or at the end of its useful life. When I walked on it I felt some softer, almost spongy spots so that is a bit of a red flag. No cracks at all in the rubber right now, though.

2-3 huge trees there drop a tremendous amount of needles and leaves, and all those trees need to go ASAP. Not only are they too close to the property but they are also just too big. Hopefully the roof does not leak yet; there has not been enough rain lately for me to tell. I don't think it leaks because there are no wet spots on the ceilings below. When I saw that the first thing I thought was a metal roof would be perfect for the place. Funny Kat suggested that very same thing when I told her about the roof. Great minds think alike! She thinks I could do that myself, but I am not so sure. I have done plenty of shingle roofing, but never metal roofing. If I do it myself and screw it up then I get leaks in what will be a like-new interior space below. That would be a bunch of crap!

Alright losers, all two of youz, I gotta get going so I can make good headway on that place today. If all goes as planned then tomorrow afternoon my next bank loan will close and we will have the funds needed to really get that building remodel cranking. Bruce comes to see it today to make plans for plumbing, I already had Ben there for electric, and next will be scheduling tree removal and heating upgrades. It's been epic hot this week (and most of summer) but soon it will be cold and I will need a good heating system for that place.

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Tuesday, 8-07-18: Feeling better about our new property...
I started working on our newest property for a bit yesterday. I didn't work more than 2-3 hours there because I had to do some mowing and because it was so frigging hot. Today actually feels hotter even though it has dropped to "only" 86 with thunderstorms nearby. Demolition in an upstairs apartment on a day like today = what a bunch of crap! I worked 2-3 hours over there today as well, and I met with Ben regarding the electrical. So far I have removed trim around most upstairs windows so I can get better rough opening measurements, and I opened up some of the ceilings a bit.

I got on my email early afternoon to see that the bank sent me this:

That "points" fee is a toilet, but oh well. The one fee I saw that I really hated was that $775 appraisal fee. OMG WTF? I already paid for the appraisal so do not double-bill me. What a bunch of crap! I asked them about it so either I am misunderstanding the breakdown or there is a mistake. I'd rather know for sure before I sign this bootleg thing. I really just want this loan to close ASAP, but more importantly I don't want to get screwed with bogus fees.

In other news, the Red Sox swept the Yankees in a 4-game series at Fenway. I watched about none of the games due to getting back into the world after blueberry raking, and that is a bunch of crap. The Sox are DOMINANT lately, and they are on pace for their most wins in a season, ever...

A 79-34 record with a 9-game lead over the rival Yankees = OH JESUS HELL YA!

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Sunday, 8-05-18: Raking was great this season.
The end. Fin. Raking season 2018 has come to a close, and it was our 15th consecutive year raking for Cliff down in the Hope/Union area. I expected a trash season for the raking itself since Cliff is in the process of switching his fields to organic, but I was pleasantly surprised with his crop this time. Organic berries fetch a higher market rate, but it takes 3 years for the official conversion so for this season Cliff was stuck at the lower price per pound since his field is "only" 2 years removed from chemical treatments now. (Pesticides, fertilizers, etc) Since Cliff could not use chemicals on the field I though there would be a lot of weeds and shit to rake and with fewer berries. Thankfully I was wrong on my expectations, and the reward is a check for $1300, 400 boxes raked, avg hourly pay around $28. Oh Jesus, hell ya! Some parts of the field were a little rough, but other parts were fantastic.

Poor Gavin, I feel badly because he had a horrible season. He has been on-and-off dating one of Cliff's daughters for years, and recently that ended for him. Even worse was the fact that we had to rake Cliff's field right at his house so there were constant reminders for Gavin of that relationship. Then she would show up and not even say hello to Gavin at all. WTF, over? He was laying on the lawn in some shade, she walked right by, and she didn't even acknowledge him at all. He still pays for her phone and they didn't end things with a fight so that it totally not fair of her to do to him. What a bunch of crap!

^Bootleg fail trophy goes to Gavin's ex for treating him like a ghost, and not like the friendly Casper ghost. She is already with some other guy, and she had the gall to bring him over to the house one day. Gavin caught a glimpse of the guy as did I, and we were both disappointed. Then, to make matters worse, Gav had to go back to Brewer on Friday for a half-day to remove a failing smoke alarm at his rental property/house. The poor guy, epic fail for him. I hope he does not get back together with that chick again because she is a shit-show. He deserves much better.

It was a HOT, humid season. Friday morning was the hottest raking I have ever experienced. We started working around 0715, an d by 0720 sweat was dripping off us. The sun was unrelenting, the air was sticky, and there was no wind at all. That last thing was really the killer. On Thursday afternoon it was just as hot, but there was an awesome wind so it didn't feel so terrible. Friday morning with no wind I had to keep taking water breaks, and that definitely hurt production. Thankfully the raking was great so I still made over $200 that day. However, at lunch I was so drenched from sweat that I had to change into fresh clothes back at nearby camp. Gavin said his dad lost 4 chickens to heat exhaustion that day, and just a few days prior at UMaine a student athelete passed away from heat exhaustion so I kept those thoughts in mind as I worked.

I think this might end up being the hottest and most humid summer of all-time here. The extended forecast is 93 tomorrow, 92 Tuesday, and 80s the rest of the week with lows only in the mid to upper 60s. What a bunch of crap! Poor Kat can't sleep because the humidity affects her body in a very adverse way. We tried to buy an air-conditioner at both WalMart and Lowe's earlier, but they are sold out. Gods damn it! Thankfully Gavin loaned us a spare. Unfortunately, we can't run it in the bedroom and watch Netflix at the same time because the A/C is too loud. What a bunch of crap! Hopefully tonight it helps us sleep better.

Okay I did not finish my bootleg update so now it is Monday morning. The A/C worked great for half the night, but then I got up to go take a piss at 0300 and stepped into a puddle. Water was leaking out of the unit and all over the floor. FUCK! I had to clean that up and then try to go back to sleep, and my right arm was a little numb again so that kept me awake even more. I finally did fall back to sleep. Maybe I can adjust the A/C so it does not leak onto our precious... precious floor. I thought those things were supposed to drip water OUTSIDE gods damn it. Not that I am knowledgeable at all on the topic since I have never even owned one before.

I have to mow some lawns today and do a lot of other things. In conclusion it is too friggin hot. The end.

 


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