(Last updated: 8-10-2020)


Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.

If you want to know who the hell I am and why I spent my hard-earned $18.17 to register this domain and to share my thoughts with the world then you can click here to find out. I have no update schedule so if you don't like it then you can ggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttt oooooooouuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt!

"We should plan some bills in case I die." -
"You're not gonna die." -
"Racquetball might kill me today." -
Not before I do!" -Kat

Click here to check out my bootleg quotes page.


ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Why are you still here? Chances are pretty damn good that I WILL insult you in some fashion if you choose to continue beyond this point. The purpose of this site is to entertain me, and I am often entertained at the expense of others. Therefore, prepare to be slandered. A lot. It's still not to late to leave with your feelings intact!

Monday, 8-10-20: This business venture might actually happen. Fuck off, zero-turn mower.
We are hoping to meet with the landlord and owner of the North Brewer Shopping Plaza tomorrow to put down a deposit on what was once City Side, and from there it will be go-time. At that point we can spread the word and make it official. I haven't even posted these last 2 bootleg site updates updates for secrecy even though no one actually reads this. (What a bunch of crap!) We want a lot of people to know our plans, but one of our friends will have to leave his job, the same job he has had for a long time, so we want it to be a bit more concrete before we make any official declaration and he gives his notice.

The plan is to have four owners. Kat and I, obviously, and our two other friends who have knowledge in key areas and who know how to deal with people. Owning a bar is not owning a party-pad. Owning a bar is owning a place to sell, sell, and sell some more. Drinks, food, more drinks, etc. It's an experience and to succeed it requires very good people-skills. The four of us combined have a good deal of that already (on here my people skills SSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!)

More to come on the new business idea soon...

I went down to the ol' homestead yesterday to see Dad and to do some chores after a nice lunch visit on the back deck on a beautiful and somewhat hot summer day. One of the most important chores: mow their lawn. I haven't mowed the lawn there since the early 1990s OMG! Back then the lawn was a lot different, too. A lot. More rocks, more bumps, and push-mower all-the-way. Since then they have had landscape work done and now Dad owns what he thinks is a sweet zero-turn mower. Me, I don't think it's so sweet. I looked like a drunk asshole driving that mower around yesterday. It began as epic failer.

I've used a ride-on mower before, but the controls of a zero-turn are confusing. You have to move two levers as you roll along, one left "rudder" and one right "rudder. Rein? I dunno it's handles, not a wheel. These fucking handles, man making that thing do a good turn and a nice straight line takes a lot of practice. Dad wanted me to ride around and practice a lot, but I didn't give a fuck about wasting half my precious... precious time learning how to drive a frigging lawn mower so I just did a couple terrible rectangles in the back yard before I went for the gold. My bad there.

^Generic Google photo of what I had to drive around on in the yard.

Within seconds of engaging the mower deck I was running into the wood pile. I almost mowed up a few sticks of oak. What a bunch of crap! That would have been all-bad. Thankfully I stopped the mower blade from spinning so I just crashed and probably made Dad wince (he was on the deck watching the shit-show.) I got out of that mess and then ran over some gutter down-spouts, I crashed into a little cedar tree, and I totally demolished a metal eye-bolt that was sticking out where it should not have been sticking out (IE I should not have been mowing there!) What a bunch of crap!

None of my lines are straight so it looks like a drunk mowed their lawn. I did get it all done, but it took twice as long as it should have taken. I did get a little more comfortable on the mower, but just when I thought I was doing well I grazed that eye bolt I suck! By then Dad hobbled back inside the house so he didn't see all my fails. If he had seem them all he might have had another heart attack and ended up back in Maine Med.

Dad looked pretty tired and weakened, but he did not look terrible. He admitted he was exhausted since lack of sleep has been his worst problem since he got home Thursday last week. Mom texted me this last night so that was really nice: "We are very happy because we got to talk to allour boys in the same day but different places :-) We are so blessed to have such a great family have a nie evening thanks again for all your help." At the end of that were two squares because my phone can't show emojis. HAHAHA. OMG. 6-year old cheap phone like a boss. My phone can only show little squares instead of icons like smiles, thumbs-ups, etc. What a bunch of crap! I really do need a new phone...



Saturday, 8-08-20: Up early, no boozing last night, no Jester's anymore.
Two weeks ago Kat had her final gig at Jester's, and at this time we were both still bivouaced since we didn't get home and crash out until after 0200. It was a fun Friday night, but we had no idea it was to be our last. Two days later the shitbag owner closed the business with no advance notice; she sent a text message to the employees on a Sunday night at 0339 saying the business was closing for good. What a bunch of crap!

Last Friday we had a Jester's farewell party at our house with a large crowd and a lot of fun. We all drank a lot of booze and probably pissed off the neighbors. Also last week Jester's/City Side had a large rolloff dumpster out front that ended up full to the top, and the locks to the place were changed ASAP. It was really sad to see the dumpster there because we had so many fun times at that place, too many fun times to even remember them all.

^Tommy bodyslamming me in Jester's back in 2015 hehehe. We were just joking around so I didn't get hurt. We will all miss Jester's.

Kat has wanted to open her own bar for a long time, but I have very much been against the idea so we didn't talk too much about it. More of a "Maybe one day in the future who knows?" type of passing comment we would make from time to time. Opening a bar is risky and lots of new restaurants and bars fail and fail fast. There are plenty of bars around here as well so trying to compete with established places can be even more of a challenge. Now that has changed and so have our recent conversations and actions.

Kat and I had a serious conversation about opening a place during one of our evening walks a few days ago. Before then I was still against the idea of trying to open our own place because I have to much else going on and because of the risk involved. However, losing Jester's created a void that does need to be filled so the more I thought about it the more I started to open up to the idea. Not only is Jester's gone now, but the Eagles Club is also up for sale and it seems soon that place will either be gone or be in a whole new area. Two places in Brewer, gone.

At first I was leaning hard into either buying a commercial property and modifying it to our needs, but during my search I came across this 1.27-acre piece of land located in a "Generla business" zone of Brewer 2.4 miles from our house:

^$79,900. Not a terrible price and something we can do, especially after I sell my Gilmore house in the next month or two (or three?) Owning a nice lot of land zoned commercial = Oh Jesus, hell ya! We could build our own awesome karaoke bar there. Building a place would take a couple years unless we really had a serious investment partner or two, but the end result would be badass and just to our design. We would want a few thousand square feet of space so the building would be larger than the average house and it would cost a lot to build. A lot. Even with me as the lead carpenter putting in a shitload of sweat equity it would be at least, roughly, $200k. We'd want to offer at least a limited pub menu so a kitchen alone along with the proper venting = $$$$$$. Same for a sprinkler system, fire suppression, so on and so forth. Just the earth work and a foundation would cost tens of thousands of dollars before even one stick of lumber was installed anywhere.

Yesterday when Neil and I were installing another window and more siding over at Allen Rd on what was a beautiful weather day Neil suggested maybe we lease something instead of buying and building. We could lease an existing space, maybe even something with a kitchen already, and see how it goes. If things went well maybe then we could buy or build our own space in the future since paying rent = loss of profits to the landlord each month. No equity other than the brand of the business. Lots of businesses, probably most businesses, lease their spaces so that is not a bad thing.

Neil's suggestion makes a lot of sense. Rent a space and then if it epic fails we are not so screwed and stuck with a piece of land and a failed enterprise that cost more money than we even have and can even pay back. I do NOT want to start a business that could cost us our house if it falls flat. I'll lose a rental property or two, but not our own house. Kat and I liked his suggestion, and I actually called the owner of the plaza where Jester's/City Side was located and got some info. We are going to explore some options there next week because a few spaces are available for lease, including the old City Side restaurant.

Right now we are just getting some options on the table before we make a final decision, but we do hope to open something new in this area to fill the void left by other businesses/places that either have failed or that are on the brink of collapse. What makes us different than those before who have failed? We know a lot of people. A LOT. Many of our friends have skill sets that we will need. Kat can handle the entertainment, I can handle most of the maintenance/repairs and business management. We know bartenders, we know cooks, we know electricians, plumbers, HVAC people, the list goes on and on. Plus we see how some other business owners ran their operations and at times they were terrible. Bad with people, bad with maintenances, bad with repairs, hands-off, not caring, not taking the time to learn, etc.

We know how much we have to pay each month to lease a space nearby so now we have to figure out how much revenue we might be able to take in and to develop a business plan, a concept, and a design. Whatever we do lease needs an overhaul so there will be a tremendous amount of startup expenses. It will be a lot of work, too. Right now we're thinking of having a place open Wed-Sunday, closed Mon & Tues to start off, maybe open afternoon - last call. Karaoke at least 2 nights a week and maybe 4 or 5? Lots to consider. What food would we offer? What will the theme of the place be? How can we lay it out? How can we make it inviting and NICE? Lots of details to come, and the little things matter a lot including the entrance/exit, lighting, bar location inside the space, stage, sound, condition of the bathrooms, so on and so forth.

I plan to set up a S-Corp/LLC ASAP, and we can start thinking of a business name and find a space. This whole thing is my awesome DJ-wife's vision so the name will be something having to do with her. MadKat's Karaoke Bar? MadKat's Bar? Kat's Pub? I dunno there are endless options for a name. Has to be something that tells people what it is so Kat's Place or something vague won't work.

We are going to open our own bar. Maybe? Hopefully!



Thursday, 8-06-20: Dad comes home today?
Poor Dad, he checked into PenBay in Rockport on Monday evening 2.5 weeks ago after some chest tightness, and the next day they sent him down to Maine Med in Portland for heart surgery. He has been in Portland ever since then, and I can't even imagine how much it must suck for him to be laid up in a hospital for so long. 2.5 weeks = what a bunch of crap! Fortunately he should be coming home today because he has been improving well enough since his open-heart surgery last week.

We all had a plan to get Dad home from the hospital, but that plan had to change yesterday. In the original plan I was going to drive down to the midcoast, meet up with Mom and Jason, and the three of us were going to dive down to Portland to pick up Dad. The Covid-19 pandemic is very much still in full-swing so only one person could actually get Dad while the other two of us waited in the vehicle in the parking lot. We'd all then go home and probably visit for a while before I headed home myself. It was going to be 6 total hours of driving for me, but it would have been well worth it to see Dad get home after a life-threatening and life-saving ordeal.

Unfortunately Dad called me yesterday afternoon to change the plan and to piss in my proverbial Cheerios. He said he didn't want me to go along to pick him up due to the 'rona pandemic. OMG. He only wants one person to get him so his risk of getting the virus is reduced. Before he went to the hospital I don't think he worried that much about this virus, but he said there is a whole floor at that Portland hospital with Covid-19 patients and the docs there take it incredibly seriously. He knows if he gets Covid he is going to die because he is so weak right now.

I don't think I am a carrier of the 'rona, but who knows I could be since I have been around plenty of other people lately. Not all people who have the virus get sick from it, and I *might* be one of those people. I think the odds of that are less than 1%, but if I do get too close to Dad and then he dies from the virus because I did unknowingly have it then I have to live with that forever. What a bunch of crap that would be! What a bunch of crap this whole virus is!

Dad's logic makes just enough sense so I can't put up a compelling counter-argument against it. I do think it's a bit ridiculous since I WAS JUST DOWN AT THEIR HOUSE SATURDAY, AND I GAVE MOM A HUG AND NOW HE IS GOING TO SEE MOM AND BE CLOSE TO HER. However, that was five days ago so maybe I got the 'rona since then? I feel pretty good and there aren't any outbreaks around here lately, but in other areas of the country it is very much a shit-show. They just said on the news that Governor Janet Mills extended the Civil State of Emergency until September 3rd. What a bunch of crap! I guess that means Neil can't go back to work until next month as a bartender...

Speaking of Neil, both he and I finished the front of my Allen Rd front Tuesday morning before we met up at Treats Falls to plan a little more work. The front looks nice, but we did make a few little mistakes that aren't too noticeable:

^It does look great, and it will look even better when we clean it up some more and put lattice around the bottom of that new little front porch. I did screw up the height of those two little windows above the porch roof. One is 1.5" lower than the other. What a bunch of crap! The old octagon windows were not lined up either, but I thought I fixed that. My bad. Also, the lower left-most window shutter is off alignment by just a tad. I also had a little trouble in one area at the top-most row of siding due to the building having settled some on the right side. What a bunch of crap! Oh well, minor issues that are no big deal and it is just a rental! Hehe.

I was planning to put that house on hold for a few days to do other projects, but I might be back over there as early as today. Neil and I did a few smaller things at Treats Falls yesterday, some trim and lattice, and I was planning to go get Dad today and either finish some more small work at Treats Falls tomorrow or go to Phil's tomorrow. However, not getting Dad today now gives me a lot of extra time (that I do NOT want gods damn it.) If Dad is not released from the hospital today due to any complications then I am going to get him tomorrow, though...



Sunday, 8-02-20: Successful surgery.
Dad's open-heart surgery on Thursday did not go as well as planned, but I still call it a success since he didn't die on the operating table and since he is doing better now. A full recovery will take a long time, if ever, but just knowing he is starting to eat food again and he can talk on the phone is a win. I went down to the midcoast yesterday, and I arrived at lunchtime to visit with Mom. Just as she was getting ready to eat her sandwich Dad called her so that was great. His first phone call since the surgery so I know it meant a lot to her to be able to talk to him.

We don't know when Dad will be able to go home, but sometime this weeks is the plan. Tomorrow is a very remote possibility, but mid to late week seems more likely. Jason recently had heat pumps installed in his own house so he has spare window A/C units, and he offered to install a couple of them in the house for Mom and Dad. Of course they were both quite against the idea since they have NEVER had A/C in that house, ever. Mom likes to just have the windows open, even when it is 90 degrees both outside and inside. What a bunch of crap!

Thankfully Dad finally agreed that A/C might be a good idea, especially since it's been such a hot summer. Even though they only live a few miles from the coast there have been very few good sea breezes lately and even yesterday was in the mid-80s down there. We don't want Dad to be recovering from a life-saving heart surgery and being overheated. A big heat wave could stress his body to the point of no return.

So I helped Jason get the two A/C window units installed before I headed back home. I also weedwacked, stacked some wood, and trimmed Dad's food plot out back by the pond. Poor Mom has been so stressed out I can see it in her and she didn't even want her lunch so that's another telling sign. I'm glad I went down there for the afternoon to keep her company, and even better that Jason also came over to help out with some things. We don't know how long Dad will take to recover well enough to even do simple things like mow the lawn (ride-on mower) so they are going to need help for quite some time. Jason lives close, but I can't put all that on him so I plan to go back and forth as much as needed.

I'll play rball this morning and do some mowing at some point today. Then hopefully later I can work on this for a bit:

^Neil and I worked on that side Wednesday, we took Thursday off to go to Schoodic Point, and we worked back on the front Friday. That front has been incredibly hot most days with unlimited sun and plenty of heat. What a bunch of crap! Doing that driveway side does offer morning shade so Wednesday was a nice break from all that sun.

I won't install any new siding today, maybe some J-channel and more work on that door overhang. Removing that old siding up top would be good. There is a lot of debris around the property that needs to be cleaned up and loaded for a dump-run, too. I can't have loose siding there come Tuesday because it looks like Tropical Storm Isaaiah (butchered spelling what a bunch of crap!) is going to hit us Tuesday PM and into Wednesday. The storm might actually be a direct hit, but it will be weaker with winds of "only" 40MPH. Still enough wind to send loose siding flying all over the place.

I have to wait until later this month to do some areas of that building since I need six windows custom-ordered on size. I stopped by Crescent Lumber in Orrington yesterday on the way to Mom and Dad's to order them, Matthew's Brothers brand. I could have ordered them at Lowe's or Home Depot, but in the past I've used Matthews Bros windows there so I wanted some of the areas to match up. Other areas I can use Home Depot windows, and I already have those on-hand from a few days ago thanks 48-month special financing coupon!

Alright turds, all two of you who read this bootleg site of mine, I need to go to other things now. I'll be working in 3 different places this coming week. Tomorrow Neil and I can do windows and siding at the property pictured above, Tuesday and Wednesday it's back to Treats Falls for some smaller things, and Thursday/Friday it's back down to Phil's to finish most if not all of the work he needs done. Somewhere in there will be a day off to help get Dad home, too...


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