(Last updated: 10-20-2016)


Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.

If you want to know who the hell I am and why I spent my hard-earned $8.42 to register this domain and to share my thoughts with the world then you can click here to find out. I have no update schedule so if you don't like it then you can ggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttt oooooooouuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt!

“I know our complex tax laws better than anyone who has ever run for president and am the only one who can fix them." –Donald Trump (who claimed a $915 million dollar loss on his 1995 taxes that carried over for up to 18 years.)

Click here to check out my bootleg quotes page.

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Why are you still here? Chances are pretty damn good that I WILL insult you in some fashion if you choose to continue beyond this point. The purpose of this site is to entertain me, and I am often entertained at the expense of others. Therefore, prepare to be slandered. A lot. It's still not to late to leave with your feelings intact!

Thursday, 10-20-16: I hate my life right now.
Gods damn it! I just wrote about three paragraphs on this bootleg site that no one will read, I went to save, and I accidentally closed it out and bye bye everything that I just wrote. What a bunch of crap! I dunno how I did that? It didn't even ask me if I wanted to save the changes. Fuck my life right now.

Oh great, half the chairs just fell off the table on the deck and made all kinds of noise. Almost broke the slider, too. Thank you, puppies. I'll be shocked if that doesn't wake up the wife who is still sleeping and trying to recover from a cold. Poor Sweet Pea, she has been sick all damn week.

Kat and I were relaxing last night and watching season 1 of The Walking Dead (I've never seen season 1 before) when I got a text message from my new Bangor tenant. Earlier in the day I had dropped off extra keys for the apartment along with an envelope for next month's rent into her mailbox, she didn't think to check the box for the keys until 1930 that evening, and by then they were gone. OMG WHO TOOK THE KEYS?! Since I left them in a stamped envelope in the mailbox I really have no one to blame but myself. My bad there, I didn't want to use the mailbox but couldn't think of a better place to temporarily leave them. Plus it was a small envelope that sank way to the bottom of the mailbox so I'm shocked it got taken. My guess is the mailman thought it was outgoing mail and took it. I hope! The reason why it was a stamped envelope with my address is I planned to drop off both the keys and the envelope for her to use to send along November's rent. Was is a stupid decision to leave it in the mailbox? YES.

Of course she was not ok with missing keys to her apartment being out there in the world, and it was going to be her and her kids first night there so I had to go to Home Depot to buy a new lockset and then go install it for them. Bye bye an hour of my evening for that mess, but at least she was happy that I took care of it immediately. Kat was mad at me for the rest of the night, though. What a bunch of crap!

I spent most of Monday getting my new tenant situated at my Bangor duplex, and since then I've shifted my focus primarily on the duplex that I manage here in Brewer located only a stone's throw (literally) from my bootleg office. The tenant moved out of the back 3BR apartment so I need to get that ready for my new tenant. My new tenant is actually the person who rents the house across the street from my bootleg office; she plans to downsize her living space to save money. Since she is moving I also need to get that hose rented for when she ldaves later this month. I do have an approved applicant with whom I have been coordinating, but we're still not 100% sure if that will work or not so I might not have it rented. I dunno yet but hope to know very soon for sure.

The guy who moved out of that 3BR at the property I manage left it a shit-show mess, but he and I did text back and forth and he did say he intends to come back to do some cleaning. I sure hope he does come back because that place looks all bad now. Flies buzzing around, dishes in the sink, some food in the fridge, and a lot of his own stuff still stowed in the basement. What a bunch of crap! As long as he does some more cleaning and gets his crap the hell out of there by the end of this week I'll be happy enough. I can't have the new person start moving in yet anyway because I have to paint, have the carpets professionally cleaned (tomorrow for that), and most importantly replace this bootleg porch:

^About to fall right off the house. What a bunch of crap! All I wanna know is why? Why did the person who built that in years past not spend $5 or less on some joist hangers? Epic fail.

I ripped the porch off Tuesday morning:

That took about an hour, maybe less, and then I spent a couple hours in the afternoon getting this far:

Yesterday I worked on the porch for another roughly four hours, and this is how it looks now:

I'm pretty close to the finish line on the porch, and I do expect to have it all done today as long as the weather holds. Yesterday was a fantastic day for working outside with sun and a high temp of 72 degrees. (Probably the last great warm weather day for this area for half a year. What a bunch of crap!) Today clouds roll in and we hit 60, not too bad, but then we will get rain, wind, and next week much colder air so today is my best shot at getting it done. I think two more hours will get me to the finish line as I only need to do the railing. I already have the concrete footings poured, and the lags and carriage bolts all in place for my structural integrity. Even though I don't own the building I still built that porch as sturdy as I would have if it was my own building.

I'm watching highlights on the news of the last presidential debate from last night. We watched some of it before we bivouaced. Trump vs. Clinton 2016 = turd vs. turdette 2016. Normally on a Wednesday night we are up at The Roost for a karaoke show, but since Kat was sick I called her out and her backup/fill-in DJ did the show last night. I hate that my wife was sick in bed all day, but I didn't hate not going to watch drunk college kids scream into microphones until 0100. I got a good night's sleep, I feel good, and I'm about to take the puppies over to the gym with me before I try to finish that porch later this morning.

I don't hate all of my life right now, but parts of it do suck. It's October 20th and I haven't even gone deer hunting once yet. What a bunch of crap! I should go this evening, but I need to spend some time with the family, too. Once I get all the apartment stuff taken care of (November?) then things will start looking up when I get some more free time. I hope!



Saturday, 10-15-16: I ditched my wife last night at the bar.
I got somewhat liquored up last night and was having some fun at Jester's until just before the end of the night. Sweet Pea was also liquored up, and I know this because when she has too much tequila she dances all over the bar including ON the bar. She can easily run her karaoke show down there while buzzed and/or somewhat drunk so no worries there. Sometimes after I've had a few drinks I decide it would be a good idea to sing a song, but not that often. Last night I decided that I wanted to sing Motley Crue, but Kat told me no because I suck. WTF, OVER?!

I asked her again not much later, and I got her to say yes to my singing a Motley Crue song. She asked me to pick a song so my first choice was my favorite Motley Crue song: Girls, Girls, Girls. DENIED. Second choice: Same Ol' Situation. DENIED. Third choice: Wild Side. DENIED. Fourth choice: Dr. Feelgood.


Finally Kat told me I could sing Kickstart My Heart. Works for me! However, she almost immediately changed her mind and said nevermind because, again, she said I suck. She said she would just play the song at the end of the night so we could dance to it. What a bunch of crap!

LET ME SING MOTLEY CRUE GODS DAMN IT. I guess I should have requested Def Leppard since I was wearing my Hysteria tee shirt.

I was not in the mood for any bullshit last night because I have been super stressed out and generally unhappy lately for a variety of reasons, most of which is the fact I am very busy and can't seem to make forward progress on my lenghty "to do" list. Then when I do get some things done more piles on, and my wife gets mad at me when she thinks I work too much. She really didn't take it well when I told her I am getting sick of going to all her DJ gigs with her. That went about as well as a juicy, smelly fart in a quiet church. Or laughing at a funny Internet Meme at a funeral. There has been tension between us so that was a recipe for a fail last night between us.

When my own wife told me I was not allowed to sing because I suck at karaoke that rubbed me the wrong way, and I reacted accordingly. I went and got her keys, I took the house key off the ring, and walked my half-drunk ass home. I was liquored up, but I was not shit-show drunk and I remember it well enough. We texted back and forth a little, but I did not go back to Jester's. I wrote this to her: "Doors are unlocked not ok with you telling me I suck see you eventually dogs are going out now." She wrote back that she was just joking, but some fucking joke when she doesn't finish it up with "okay I was teasing you can sing now." She had no intention of letting me sing, and she really does think I suck. However, lots of other people who sing karaoke suck as well and I'M HER HUSBAND WHO GOES WITH HER TO ALMOST ALL OF HER GIGS TO HELP HER OUT BECAUSE I LOVE HER AND WANT HER TO CRUSH THE COMPETITION LIKE SHE DESERVES BECAUSE SHE IS A GREAT DJ.

I wrote this to her and then went the hell to bed "Yeah nice job shitting all over me. I know I am not a good singer but you don't need to tell me I suck. F that." I fell asleep pretty fast so I don't know what happened after that, but my guess is she told everyone down there that I am a dink. She is very mad at me today, and I might get hauled on. What a bunch of crap!

I haven't seen much of my wife today because I had to go to my Bangor duplex this morning to get the new tenants started and at noon she left for a wedding to DJ. My bad not pulling the FOR SALE sign at the Bangor duplex before today; I had intended to keep the building on the market, but the new tenants were not okay with that. I guess when I first did the showing last week I told them I was going to pull the listing and keep the building, but I totally forgot I had told them that so I looked like a giant lying two-faced asshole. I didn't do it on purpose; I just have so much going on that I lose track of some things. Of course I pulled the sign and let Jody know immediately so it looks like I will be keeping my Bangor duplex for a while more. Maybe I can sell it next year, or maybe I will just keep it until it is paid off and then haul on it for some bargain price that will unload it quickly. I still owe $53,500 on the loan with something like 7.5 years to go.

I am very thankful that Kat's good friend, Joe, went with her to her wedding down in SW Harbor today because I could ill afford to lose another 12 hours of my life when I have other things to do. Of course I would have gone with her if she needed me without question and just worked on the apartments more tomorrow, but having most of this afternoon free was a tremendous help to me. I did a couple more showings at the house across the street from my office, I met with a tenant at the building I manage who is moving, and I did some office work as well as played racquetball and got the puppies plenty of exercise. I even did an arm workout in my gym tonight. Nice!

In conclusion, I am pretty sure my wife hates me right now so hopefully tomorrow her and I can sort a few things out and get back on the same page. Being in a relationship is fucking hard. However, I wouldn't trade my time with her for all the tea in China. That is a worthless expression because I don't even drink tea. What a bunch of crap! My bad walking out of the bar and going home without my wife last night. I was not happy that she shit on me, but I could have handled it better. I apologized for taking off once earlier, and I will tell her I am sorry again either tonight when she gets home or more likely tomorrow when we have a talk. I'm hoping she is sorry she would not let me sing, too. We shall see...



Friday, 10-14-16: I might take a nap.
It's early afternoon and quiet here at the hacienda on Parkway North. I should take a nap while it stays quiet, but I don't wanna go into the bedroom and wake up my Sweet Pea so I'll wait a bit. She hopped into the rack to take a siesta while I was doing two showings at the house across the street from my bootleg office. That house has now shown 8 times over the past 2.5 weeks, and I have two more showings scheduled for tomorrow. I had the place spoken for last week, but before I could meet to collect my usual $300 nonrefundable deposit the people changed their minds. What a bunch of crap! Oh well, it happens.

The showings today were okay, but nothing to get excited about. Hard telling if either one will return an application or not, but if not that is just fine. I still have a couple more weeks to find someone before I might have a vacancy issue to contend with in November. I really don't want that house to sit vacant for November because it costs me precious... precious money to have a vacancy. My Bangor front 3BR apartment has already been vacant for 2.5 months so that takes a big bite out of the annual vacancy allowance. In a perfect world I would have had someone moving into that Bangor duplex today, but it got pushed back to Monday because I failed an inspection. What a bunch of crap!

Every now and again I rent to people who receive some form of public assistance with their rent. Section 8 is the most common program out there, but there are many others. I don't often approve a Section 8 or related-program tenant, but I am not opposed to doing so and if the right person comes along whom I think it will be a good fit then I go for it. Such was the case recently at my Bangor duplex. Unfortunately, yesterday the place had to be checked for some basic code-type stuff and I failed. Gods damn it! I needed a couple GFCI outlets near sinks (my bad), a couple old and bootleg upstairs windows don't stay open without falling back down, there is no smoke alarm in the basement, and a few other small things need fixing. Thankfully nothing is too costly and I got half of it all done this morning, but it uses up more of my precious... precious time. My bad not having a smoke alarm in the cellar. I've owned the building for 12.5 years so I should know better. What a bunch of crap! I never gave it any thought in all these years.

The leaves are starting to pile up in the back yard. We've had a couple nights dip down close to the freezing mark, but tonight we're looking at 29 so that will kill off most of the surviving vegitation. I should go out there and rake up some of the leaves now, but the maple still has so many left to drop that it seems a waste to clean it up only to have the yard fill right back up with dead leaves. However, if I don't rake it up some then it is almost impossible to find the dog-shit. Last year at this time we had epic fail when our two other dogs (Castiel and Crowley) started eating some of their own crap after it sat among fallen leaves out back so we do not want Copper and Tiger-Lily to start doing that. ALL DOG SHIT MUST GO OVER THE FENCE AND INTO THE ABYSS/SWAMP BEYOND.

^Lots of leaves on the ground now, but check out how many haven't even fallen yet:

^All I wanna know is why? Why can't they just fall off all at once and blow into the neighbor's yard so I don't have to deal with it?

I want to go deer hunting, but I am not ready yet. Fail! I need to shoot my bow some more and set up my new tree stand. Tomorrow would be a great weather-day to go hunting, especially in the morning when it is cold, but I blew it and failed again to properly manage my time so instead I'll just sleep in. Hopefully I can get out there this weekend and get set up so at some point next week I can go try to get a deer. I haven't had deer meat in months because we used all our steaks up. What a bunch of crap!

In three weeks Kat and I will be packing bags and prepping for a week-long vacation to sunny and warm ARIZONA. We'll be staying in Mesa, not far from Phoenix, and we want to drive all over the place to see different sights and to get a feel for where we might possibly like to spend winters in the future. It might be a few years before we can feasably just up and leave for 3-4 months each winter, but now is the time to start laying the foundation for a plan. Fuck this state in the winter.

Last night I met my new district manager for Jackson Hewitt. Out with the old, in with the new! The old DM was always great to me, but I guess it was his time to retire and ride off into the sunset. There will be some big managerial changes this year at JH, but it looks like my spot at the Bangor WalMart is secure. We had an informal "meet and greet" last night where we reviewed some ideas for the upcoming season. This year they plan to have each location staffed as early as December 27th. OMG F THAT. I prefer not to start until January, but they want to push the refund anticipation stuff so I just roll with it. I need to get this house done before tax season starts, but I have been so royally fucked for time lately that I'm not sure I can pull it off. In theory I should have a big chunk of November and December to work on this place, but with the way this year has gone so far I can't bank on that at all. If I had two or three uninterrupted weeks then I could bang most of it out, but things always seem to come up that pull me in other directions. What a bunch of crap!

EDIT: Ok I am back and somehow I totally fucked it away so a nap seems unlikely. I was gonna lay down at 1600 but then I wanted to wait for Kat to get home from her errands. She got home with the bad news that the Mountaineer rear cargo-seat won't close so we had to dick around with that and I was wide awake and then the puppies needed to be fed and so did I. Oh well, at least I got a bunch of leaves raked up and shot a pretty good series with my bow earlier. Both of the puppies loved the pile of leaves. It's their first ever fall since Copper is only 11 months old and Tiger-Lily is now just over 5 months old. The dogs are a handful, but they are 100% worth it.



Wednesday, 10-12-16: Gods damned vehicle.
I don't feel as busy as I did last week, but only barely so. This week has sucked in a different way. First, the Mountaineer has a coolant leak that has already cost us $274 and that is not fixed yet. What a bunch of crap! I had to waste two hours of my precious... precious time yesterday morning at the repair shop while they replaced a thermostat housing or some shit. I can't even remember what the hell it was anymore. Thankfully it was not a blown head gasket because that would have cost an estimated $1700. (20 hours of labor for a blown head gasket. WTF?!) I left the shop with the vehicle running well, or so I thought.


Today Sweet Pea took her wheels down to the hair place to get a new Smurfette hairdo when she called me to report the latest problem. There was radiator fluid pissing out from the vicinity of the rear axle. OMG WTF?! COOLANT DOES NOT EVEN GO BACK THERE GODS DAMN IT. However, Kat's auto-savvy friend stopped by to tell us coolant goes back there for the cargo-area heater. He said it will take a few hours to fix that coil, it needs to go on a lift (that he doesn't have plus he is busy with school and stuff) so we can expect to dump a bunch more money into it. What a bunch of crap!

So bye bye more of my precious... precious time tomorrow dealing with that bullshit. I gotta get the bootleg vehicle into the shop at 0800 so they can hopefully fix it right. Katherine needs to get to work so Kat will take her and 0930 and then I suppose come get me with the truck. Speaking of the truck, we took that to her gig at The Roost tonight. The Mountaineer is not going anywhere except to the shop because we don't need to be melting the engine. I'm not even at The Roost right now with Kat, but I was there earlier. I had to come home to keep an eye on Tiger Lily because she is not feeling well and has chundered a few times already tonight. What a bunch of crap! It sucks Tiger Lily is not feeling well, but it is nice being home and not at the bar that is likely now half-full of drunk college kids. In another hour it will be totally jammed with drunk college kids up there!

Every fuckin' day some bullshit comes up that pisses away my precious... precious time, and I am getting sick of it. Part of the problem is Kat's DJ business, and we will need to work on a solution for that one. I'm glad she is doing so well and booking so many gigs, but she gets mad at me when I don't go with her and/or stay at her gigs with her. I don't get mad at her when she doesn't help me with rental-property stuff so I don't think it is fair, but life is not usually fair. Lately it feels like I have two jobs, and I really don't want to have two jobs because I want to work to live and not live to work.

Last Saturday kat had a wedding to DJ up in Orono, and I helped her set up for that wedding and then I left so I could go do a few things around the apartments and then help Gav roll out a section of rubber roofing before he and I played racquetball (I lost as usual. What a bunch of crap!) It was glorious and much-needed time for me, but she did not appreciate the fact that I was gone for most of the wedding. I did go back to help her break down the gear and get home of course, but she wanted me there for the whole thing. She has done a gig every Saturday since the end of August, her Wednesday Orono karaoke show, and her usual Friday karaoke show at Jester's. The weekly karaoke gigs aren't as time-consuming as the weddings, but each one still takes 5.5 or 6 hours including setup, breakdown, etc. In addition, bedtime is not until about 0200 on those nights and there is no sleeping in with the puppies. It wears me down, and the Saturday gigs push me close to the breaking point lately. The Saturday weddings gigs last anywhere from 10-14 hours depending on travel time.

I wouldn't mind going to all the DJ gigs so much if I didn't have seemingly 800 other things to do. The apartment business has kept me very busy lately, and I've had other side-projects to tackle such as painting for my neighbor two houses down and helping a guy I know do his taxes. The extra money is nice, especially with a failure of a vehicle in the family, but free time is nice as well. I'm not even close to ready for hunting season yet; I was supposed to go out and set up my ladder stand last Sunday, but some unpredicted rainstorm cost me that one. What a bunch of crap! A front was supposed to blow through Saturday night with a few showers, but then it stalled and we got rain all day Sunday and into Sunday night. Epic fail. Oh well, it was nice to hang out at the house and spend some time watching movies and football with Kat last Sunday. I had planned to just do the tree stand this week, but so far my plans are all shot to hell because I get so friggin' busy.

Poor Kat, she went to the hair-place to get some nice lavendar highlights added to her hair today, but the chick at that hair place blows and should get a new career. Instead of lavendar Kat got stuck with a blue color that looks more white in certain light. I love my wife no matter what her hair looks like, but I know it bums her out. Women and their hair, go figure. I don't give a shit about my hair as long as it's clean and short so I don't have to comb it. I don't even care if it starts to fall out and I get a big bald spot. It has thinned some, but so far I don't have a totally bald spot. I'm sure that is coming soon, though. Especially with all the stress I've been under lately. What a bunch of crap!

In other news, the Red Sox got swept by the Cleveland Indians and are eliminated from the playoffs after only the first round. What a bunch of crap! I think the Indians led in all three games for the entirety so that blows. David Ortiz got to play his last MLB game at Fenway Park in front of the hometown fans, but it was in defeat. Oh well, it was still a good season for the Red Sox, much more-so than last year's fail-season where they sucked.

^Great final season for the retiring 40-year old player. He and I are almost the same age. I guess that officially makes me too old to try to become a professional baseball player! Hehehehe.



Monday, 10-10-16: This presidential race is getting uglier. Oh, Brady crushed it yesterday!
I've been thinking about voting for Sylvester Stallone for president since the spring when I realized our top two candidates, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, would both be epic fails. Sylvester Stallone is not running for president, but he is about the same age as both Clinton and Trump so why the hell not? The guy is also a living legend who wrote and starred in ROCKY, who played RAMBO, and who also created The Expendables. I don't love The Expendables as much as I love RAMBO and ROCKY, but I still think it is a great series. STALLONE IS MY HERO! (Well, besides my late Papa and my own father.)

^As an added bonus of voting for RAMBO for president, he does not take shit from enemies. BAD GUYS WHO COMMIT HEINOUS ACTS MUST PAY.

Donald Trump, what a hot fuckin' mess that guy is. Over the weekend a huge news story broke concerning 2005 comments Trump made while traveling on a tour bus with some Access Hollywood reporter guy. Trump was talking about trying to pick up chicks, he talked about how easy it is to get with them because he is a celebrity, and he was married at the time. What a bunch of crap! Worst of all was this comment that he was heard saying: "You can do anything. Grab 'em by the pussy." OMG DUDE SERIOSLY?!

^I used to think this guy was funny and had the *potential* to be a success in politics and good for the nation. Now I think not.

Since those comments became public many Republicans have bailed on Trump so the entire Republican party is not looking good right now. My official political position is Independent, but I always lean Republican and I have also balied on Trump. Many Republicans have called for Trump to drop out of the race entirely. Hillary should be running away with this thing right now, but she is such a piece of human dog-shit that she has her own uphill battles to face. She was recently under fire for released comments she made from her expensive-as-fuck-private speeches including this comment from 2013: "You need to have both a public position and a private position." Basically she was saying it is okay to be a two-faced slimeball. What a bunch of crap!

^Hi, Bill Clinton. You're a huge piece of shit, too.

Hillary will NOT be getting my vote, ever. However, Trump will also NOT be getting my vote. Before the latest Trump controversy I was still slightly considering voting for Trump, but now there is no chance. I'm not even hugely offended by his lewd comments, but it is not cool to have a president who acts that way. During the debate Trump said it was just "locker room talk" from 11 years ago, but no one really believes that. I totally believe he has cheated on his wife on many occasions, and I believe he would do it again given the opportunity to do so.

In other news, God Brady returned from a bogus 4-game suspension that the crooked commissioner, Roger Goodell, handed down in the aftermath of "deflategate" from a Patriots-Colts game 1.5 years ago. The Pats played the hapless Browns in Cleveland, and Kat and I watched the entire game. Even though it was a road game for the Greatriots the crowd chanted BRADY, BRADY a couple times. Epic! Tom "God" Brady threw for 406 yards, 3TD, and 0INT in his first game back. He DOMINATED, and he didn't even play the last part of the game because by then it was a given that the Browns were hopelessly pwned. The Pats are now 4-1 on the season. Nice!

I'm in no particular rush this morning. I got up at 0620, and now it is 0850 and I have not left the house. Soon I will go over to my Bangor duplex to finish polyurethaning the cabinets in the front 3BR apartment. If all goes as planned I should have an approved tenant moving into there this week. I do have several things on the list this week so I will be busy, but I shouldn't be as busy as I was last week. I hope not anyway!



Saturday, 10-8-16: COMMANDO!
OMG Commando is on the TV. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I haven't seen this movie in a couple years, give or take, so it's about time I saw at least some of it again. Kat loves movies and owns an epic collection of DVDs and Blue-Rays, but she said she never cared for this movie. What a bunch of crap! Since she's my best friend and awesome wife I will let it slide... barely.

I friggin' love this movie. It is mostly ridiculous and impossible, but that is what makes it so glorious. It's definitely on my top ten of all-time favorite movies list. Right now Schwarzenegger is having a car chase with Sully, and in a minute one of my favorite parts will occur. He's grabbing Sully now, he's dragging the guy to the cliff's edge, and he's dangling the guy over the edge. "You can't kill me Matrix, you need me to find your daughter." "Remeber when I promised to kill you last?" "That's right, you did." "I lied." (drops Sully over the cliff.) Commando then flips the car back over and the chick asks "What happened to Sully?" Commando replies "I let him go." OMG SO AWESOME. Classic cheesy one-liners abound in this 1985 flick.

I've written many times in the past about how glorious Commando is so I won't go on and on about it. It's almost noon now and in a few we will have to load the Montaineer for an afternoon wedding in Orono. Thankfully this wedding is so close to home that I can leave for a while and then return. I'm getting tired of going to all these weddings so I am glad that today I only have to be there for part of the gig. Thankfully next Saturday is Kat's last wedding for the season.

On Wednesday night after I helped Kat set up at The Roost in Orono for her karaoke gig I had just enough time to hit up Tim's Little Big Store in Old Town. That store rocks! I bought a variety of different inexpensive alcoholic beverages, most of which I have never tried before. You can mix and match your own 6-pack for $4 up there so I often do that. Plus they have epic deals on other beers. Most of the stuff is near or past its expiration date, but I don't even care. Last night I drank some of the new stuff, and I gotta say it was a total epic fail. Thankfully I still have some other stuff that *hopefully* does not suck, but this stuff was pretty bad:

^The Root Beer drink, I thought I would love that. Unfortunately, it does not taste anything like the good Coney Island alcoholic root beer that I've had in the past. This stuff tastes way too sugary and not good at all. What a bunch of crap! That pink stuff was also an epic fail. All I wanna know is why? Why did the manufactrer think calling it KINKY was a good idea? What a bunch of crap! There needs to be a beer called RAMBO and another one called COMMANDO. They need to be strong drinks that look like JP-5 jet fuel and that taste like steak and potatoes. Hehehehe.


Speaking of epic, Schwarzenegger and Billy Duke are having their awesome motel fight. "I eat green berets for breakfast, and right now I am very hungry." Chick with Commando. "I can't believe this macho bullshit." Guys then say "Fuck you asshole." to each other. Chick says "You guys eat too much red meat." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bad guy gets spiked through a table and dies fast. This movie should have won awards gods damn it (and not the bad razzie awards either.)


Unfortunately, we have to leave before we will see the end of the movie. What a bunch of crap! We won't get to see Schwarzenegger storm the entire enemy island and single-handedly take out their evil empire.


Also, no final death scene for the bad-guy Bennett today. *sigh* Oh well, I could throw it on the DVR but I own the movie so no thank you. I actually forgot that I even own the movie, but Kat told me that I did. Score!

In conclusion, if you do not love watching Commando then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.



Friday, 10-7-16: Adventures in tenant selection.
I had a new tenant move into my Chamberlain duplex yesterday as I put the finishing touches on the place, and I also finalized tenants for two of my other units yesterday. If all goes as planned I should have everything rented soon. I hope! The first of the two other units is a lady who wants my 3BR over on Kenduskeag ASAP, and the second is a family who wants the house across the street from my bootleg office later this month. I haven't had a chance to meet with either of them yet to collect my usual $300 nonrefundable deposit so things could change, but I am cautiously optimistic that things will work out for both of the other units.

I am very pleased with how my Chamberlain upstairs 2BR came out. The place was in decent enough shape because the tenants there for the past three years were very good, but the usual wear and tear is unavoidable. I did pay $906 to have all new carpets installed in the living room, two bedrooms, small hallway, and office/spare room (537 square feet), but that was money very well spent as the old carpets smelled like pets and were extremely worn. The new carpets were installed Wednesday morning, and they look outstanding. The apartment really looks and smells new again for the first time since the huge remodel ended in the spring of 2008 on that building, and my new tenant loves it. She is actually good friends with my realtor and his wife so I have a feeling it will be a great fit. She better be a good tenant because if she is a shitbag I'll tell her to gggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!

^New carpets, frest paint = happy new tenant who will hopefully pay rent on time, not beat the place up, and be a good neighbor for the downstairs tenants.

It's 0645 now, and after I write a bit more on this bootleg site that almost no one ever reads I need to head over to Home Depot to but paint and a few other supplies before I stop off at my Bangor duplex to polyurethane the kitchen cabinets. I should have had that done already, but I was hoping to sell the property so I wouldn't have to deal with it. Unfortunately, there has been no interest in the place that I am aware of lately so it's time for my ass to throw some tenants in that front vacant apartment. A long vacancy = what a bunch of crap! I posted that apartment on Craigslist a few days ago, and on that very first day I got a call from people who really wanted to see it. We did the showing, they applied, but they were DENIED because the dude is a convicted felon who spent time not only in jail but also in prison back in 2010 for robbery. Supposedly he is clean and sober now, but I'm all set I'll look elsewhere thank you have a nice life. Plus neither of them had a job at the time they said they just had money saved up to live with for a while. Oh, they also showed up on bicycles.

On Wednesday I did two more showings back-to-back, and the first of the two is the one I intend to rent to. The seconds ones were younger chicks with no jobs who wanted to live there on Secion 8 assisted housing. I will rent to section 8 tenants (not usually), but these chicks were DENIED as well because they were obviously going to be epic fail tenants. Plus her friend just looked like she was pissed off and hated the place. F THAT ACT LIKE YOU WANT TO BE THERE AND HAVE A FUCKIN' CONVERSATION WITH MY ASS OR ELSE DISAPPEAR. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

I am somewhat selective in my tenant decision process, much moreso than I was years ago, but I do take all kinds of different people. The lady who got approved for the apartment has a prior eviction and will get assistance for her rent each month as part of a special program, one of many out there, so I don't discriminate and say 100% no to everyone who has bad stuff from their past. Even though the prior eviction is a red flag she did talk to me about it beforehand and she came with her mom and later her dad. The entire family was engaged and able to actually have a real conversation with me, and that holds weight. I hate doing showings with people who don't like to talk; I always try to strike up a conversation and when I don't get someone who can actually talk to me like a normal human then I'm likely to stamp DENIED on their application.

Even worse than the ones who barely say a word are the ones who won't shut the fuck up. Good lord those ones suck the most. I showed the house across the street from my office Tuesday, and a lady came with her boy-toy or whatever he was to her (introduced as roommate.) The guy barely said anything and just glared the whole time like he hated the place. I asked him what he thought, but she interrupted and ran her fat gom-hole incessently for what seemed like forever. This chick would not disappear, and it was a bunch of crap. HEY GIBLETS WHEN YOU COME LOOK AT ONE OF MY BOOTLEG PROPERTIES BE SOCIAL, CORDIAL, AND OPEN. DO NOT SCOWL AT ME, LOOK LIKE YOU KILL PEOPLE WHEN YOU GET BORED, OR EVEN WORSE DO NOT TALK AND TALK AND TALK AND TALK AND TALK BECAUSE I DO NOT CARE. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

I showed the house across the street from my office I think 6 times over the course of a few days, and I got one completed application for the place. Funny I showed my Bangor 3BR three times and got three applications. Hahahaha. The house didn't show as well as I expected; about half the people who saw it loved it and the other half thought it was a turd in the punch bowl of life. It is an older home, but I've put a lot of money into it and the location is a huge win. Two of the six who did not apply called or texted me saying they loved the place but other circumstances came up so they were not able to apply. I thought that was a nice thing for people to do. One half-crazy chick saw it Monday and pretty much told me she thought it sucked. That broad, good riddance to her flaky ass.

I was finishing up my lunch with Kat here at the house Monday when my phone rang at 1235. I had the lady who was scheduled for the 1300 showing on the line, and she was giggling in a really creepy way and nearly shouting into the phone. "Hey this is Nancy where are you?" My reply was a stunned "Who are you?" That's when things started clicking for me and I realized it was the lady for a showing. Turns out she got there 25 minutes early so she thought it would be fun to just call me and insanely ask me were was. I told her I'd be there between 1250-1255 so she said okay she was gonna go find a place to pee. Hey, I can't even make this shit up. It just writes itself!

I get there at 1250 as promised, but her worthless ass doesn't bother to roll back in until exactly 1300. Fail! Technically she was not late, but come on. She saw the house, she said it looks worse than what she expected from the photos, and then she started telling me about this wonderful house up in Lincoln for $1000 a month with great views, more land, etc. OMG CHICK IF YOU WANT TO LIVE IN A RURAL PLACE THAT IS AN HOUR NORTH OF HERE THEN OF FUCKING COURSE I DO NOT COMPARE TO THAT. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! All I wanna know is why? Why would you expect the in-city going rental rates to be the same as a market located 45 miles away? Epic fail and good riddance to her loser, half-baked ass.

^Congratulations Nancy, you win my bootleg fail trophy because YOU SUCK.

Even though I "only" got one application for that house it is one I approved, and I plan to meet with them soon to collect the deposit. The people seem to really like the place and are excited to move in around November 1st. The tenant in the house now plans to move into one of the 3BR apartments at the building I manage located just two houses down on the same street, but she is waiting until the guy who lives there now spreads out. He plans to be out soon so my next project, getting that apartment ready, will probably start next week. Goddamn I've been busy!

I need to get the puppies in and feed them before I go do work. Today is supposed to be 76 degrees and probably our last summer-like day. After I get those cabinets polyurethaned I need to swing by Chamberlain to take care of a few little things and then spend a couple hours this afternoon painting at a house just down the road. I'll write about that next time. Goonies never say die!



Tuesday, 10-4-16: First place Red Sox, a hurricane, and vacancies.
The Red Sox lost 5 of their last 6 games, but that is okay because they took first place in the division and didn't put their best effort into those last few games once their playoff spot and division crown was secured. They play in Cleveland starting Thursday in what I think is a best of 5 series. Maybe best of 7? I forget because the playoffs in MLB have changed over the past few years.


I had a very busy work day yesterday, and today will also be busy. Actually, the whole week will be busy for my ass. I spent part of yesterday doing a couple more showings at the house across the street from my bootleg office. So far I've shown that house four times, and people have liked it but have yet to apply. I have two more showings scheduled for this afternoon, and I'll spend the rest of my work day over at my Chamberlain Street upstairs vacant apartment. The tenants who had lived there for the past three years bought a house so they spent the weekend spreading out of the apartment, and yesterday was my first day of working over there. The tenants were awesome. They paid rent on time all the time, and they never caused trouble or called me for stupid shit. I was lucky to have them for those three years.

Thankfully that apartment doesn't need a major overhaul. The tenants were nice enough to spackle the tack and nail holes in all the walls so all I have had to do is a little sanding and some painting. Not all the walls need paint, but after three years a lot of walls do need some paint just because of the normal wear and tear. My standard tan color is on all the walls now so reapplying that same color is pretty easy. I also have to rip out the carpets, but that is not too hard. Tomorrow Marden's is coming to install 537 square feet of new carpet. Bye bye $906 for that, but it was needed as the carpets there now are 8.5 years old and worn hard.

As soon as I finish this useless update that almost no one will ever read I have to post my 3-bedroom Bangor apartment that has been vacant for two months on Craigslist. It's time to get a tenant in there as my hopes for selling that building dwindle by the day. I could do one more price drop, but F that I'd rather just keep it and rent it out. Especially since natural gas is still relatively cheap so *hopefully* heating costs won't break me this coming winter. A harsh winter with a huge spike in gas costs will definitely have me regretting not doing one more price drop, but even if I do lower the price again that is not a guarantee of a sale. I paid $103,500 plus some closing costs for the building in May of 2004, and my current list price is $104,900. (I started at $109,000 for the first couple weeks last month.)

FOR SALE. (No one wants it yet. What a bunch of crap!) Call Jody and buy it.

There is a massive hurricane in the Caribbean called Matthew. This storm is a beast, it's about to drill Haiti and eastern Cuba, and after that the track looks all bad for most of the eastern USA including maybe our area by next Sunday.

^That storm creates a serious situation for those two countries.

^That looks like a worst-case scenario. Hopefully the storm dies off and/or goes out to sea. We do need rain up here, but we don't need tropical, flooding rain. According to the local news some of the models take that storm directly up the east coast. What a bunch of crap!

This storm is the top story on the NBC national news show that comes on at 0700. Next they will talk politics including the latest rumor that in 1995 Donald Trump claimed a $915 million loss on his taxes. OMG HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! Of course Hillary has already jumped all over that one saying how Trump hasn't paid taxes in 20 years, etc etc.

Trump vs. Clinton ~ bad vs. worse. I definitely won't vote for Hillary Clinton, but I'm not sure I want to vote for Trump. Might as well just write in STALLONE. Oh, they just showed a poll where Clinton is leading Trump, 50-44%. However, it's NBC so they probably lean toward Clinton and the democratic party. However, I already stopped caring this morning becase I need to get the dogs in, feed them, post that ad for the 3BR, and then get my ass to work. Goonies never say die!

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