(Last updated: 9-22-2021)

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR ME AS A PERSON THEN I ADVISE YOU TO TURN AWAY NOW. CLICK THE 'X' IN THE TOP CORNER OF YOUR SCREEN! RUN, FLEE, ESCAPE. IF YOU ARE A FAMILY MEMBER THEN YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ENTER BEYOND THIS POINT!

Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.

If you want to know who the hell I am and why I spent my hard-earned $18.17 to register this domain and to share my thoughts with the world then you can click here to find out. I have no update schedule so if you don't like it then you can ggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttt oooooooouuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt!



"One of my wedding clients went crazy and tried to kill her fiance. She went crazy and beat the shit out of him." -
Kat
"When did you find this out?" -
Me
"When I was in the looney-bin!" -
Kat

Click here to check out my bootleg quotes page.

 

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Why are you still here? Chances are pretty damn good that I WILL insult you in some fashion if you choose to continue beyond this point. The purpose of this site is to entertain me, and I am often entertained at the expense of others. Therefore, prepare to be slandered. A lot. It's still not to late to leave with your feelings intact!

Wednesday, 9-22-21: Roof not started, office not finished, work-timeline fail (again.)
I was planning to start the roof on our house Monday, but I have not even gotten up there yet to do one thing. What a bunch of crap! Problem: I can't find the matching color shingles. I could just use black shingles, those are in stock, but then it might look stupid compared to the "Weathered Grey" shingles on the newer addition part of the house. The color I need to do it right is not available at either Home Depot (where I got the Weathered Grey back in 2015) or Lowe's. Maybe I could shop around more, but I don't even care... whether or not I care. I have lots of other things to do, and the roof only leaks a little hehe.

I should get this friggin' roof done this fall, but there aren't too many weeks left of decent weather. I don't want to be doing our roof when it is frosty and snowing. F that. I did this roof way back in the early winter of 2007 and it sucked. A lot:

^NO MORE BIG WINTER PROJECTS. That photo is probably from early 2008, but we were trying to do that roof late in 2007 and that December we ended up with something like 54 inches of snow for the month. I was not so wise regaring carpentry and remodeling back then. I wa not so wise about a lot of things. What a bunch of crap!

Our roof can wait until the spring. Maybe? Hopefully! It's only 11 square so it's not even very large, but I have so much else going on that it has not been a priority. Between Covid outbreaks at the bar, losing Copper, and more recently Doug's health scare things have been busy as ever. Plus Kat has her own health issues and works too much still. I like to think things will get easier this fall, but we'll see. Technically this is the first day of fall on the calendar. The equinox where there should be 12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of dark. However, there is 12:09 of sunlight so someone must have made a clerical error along the way? Where's my Morla meme, damnit?

^If I cared more I'd research why the equinox in these parts is not exactly 12 hours of sunrise and 12 hours of sunset...

Kat and I saw a license plate on a car parked at the bar a few days ago that read ATREJU. A Neverending Story fan? Not sure, but it's awesome and we hope to see it again. We hope to never see the Giblet-head chick who came into the bar last night, though.

Kat and I had the evening off and were watching some TV and finishing supper when she got the phone call from Katherine (Manager on duty at the time.) A lady came into the bar and was asking staff and customers if they had cocaine. OMG. She was indirect with her request with some and she was very direct with others. So we told Katherine to give the chick the boot immediately since we do not condone that at or around our establishment. Katherine was friendly about it, but the chick was like a turd that will not flush and she would not leave. OMG. Finally Katherine got her outside, but the chick started screaming and yelling and we have it on video and it was terrible. The cops had to arrest her. Poor Katherine she handled it well, but that chick was way out of line for acting that way.

To make matters worse later that night the same chick called the bar to threaten to sue our bar and to threaten Katherine. What a bunch of crap! Obviously that bag of human shit is banned from our place forever. FOREVER. Katherine had to make another police report. The chick is a traveling nurse from Lewiston-Auburn so that explains a lot, at least the part where she is from. Thanks to the Interweb the staff has her full name, phone number, license plate, and where she works. If she fucks with us again she's going to jail. That beotch!

DON'T COME TO OUR BAR AND ASK AROUND FOR COCAINE THEN PITCH A TOTAL FIT WHEN YOU ARE ASKED TO LEAVE. THEN DON'T CALL BACK LATER AND THREATEN MY OWN FAMILY YA FUCKIN' DINKETTE!

^Epic failer chick who wanted cocaine at our bar.

I worked on my tax office at the bar some more yesterday, but it's still not done. It should have been done a couple weeks ago, but I suck. Oh well, it happens. Maybe next week I'll have it done? I really just need a floor and some trim. I could do it tomorrow, but other thingss will come up. I ordered a load of reclaim asphault for Allen Rd, and I need to also spend some precious... precious time over there doing yard cleanup and filling potholes before the weather gets cold.

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Thursday, 9-16-21: RIP, Chester Copperpot.
What a giant fucking piece of shit weekend last weekend was. The final fuck you to us from the gods who do not really exist came Sunday evening when we had to put our beloved Golden Retriever to sleep at the emergency vet clinic. He died in our lap, and it was heartbreaking because he was not even 6 years old.

Copper had a fast-moving cancer, lymphoma, that had spread so badly through his body there was no solution. We noticed he stopped getting excited for his food a few weeks ago, and he just seemed off. Kat is incredibly intuitive so she had a gut feeling something was seriously wrong, but we both hoped it was not a severe issue. Maybe he was mad at us because we haven't been home as often this summer? We hoped that was the case. We even tried a new flavor of dog food.

The cancer diagnosis was a real gut-punch to us both. We did get Copper on pregnizone, and that made him piss a lot but also gave him back his appetite and more energy. We knew it was not a long-term solution, but it did seem to help him. He still did want to play fetch often, and he devoured the new wet dog food we gave to him. We thought we had until closer to the end of this month, but then Sunday came around.

I mentioned this weekend was totally fucked, and losing Copper was of course the large part of that. However, Kat and I got stuck at the restaurant working epic hours because we were so short-staffed. 6 people out either with Covid or due to being with someone who has Covid = what a bunch of crap! I did play fetch with Copper Saturday afternoon for a bit, but I had to take a nap since I closed Sat night and opened Sunday morning. Sunday was very busy so I had no chance to play with Copper until around late afternoon after I got home. He did want to play fetch a few times, but then he went and laid down and did not look well. He was coughing, he was vomiting some, and it was awful to see. We tried to feel him the best food we could including tasty human-food, but he wanted nothing to do with it and he looked like he was in pain.

So we made the hard decision to call the emergency vet and schedule the euthanization that night. Kat has a background as a vet-tech so she knew Copper might not even make it through the night, and it he did it would be unfair to him. He declined fast. Way faster than either of us expected. It was a disaster of a night for us; we were both totally exhausted from almost no sleep the night before and emotionally drained. We cried a lot. Now, days later, we still miss Copper and wish he could be here with us. We just had to go get his ashes not long ago so that was not easy either, but at least he is home with us again.

^June, 2016 when Copper was still young and full of life. He was young at heart and full of life almost all the way until the end. He was a retriever who was afraid to swim, but he would play fetch all day every day.

Our biggest regret about losing Copper the way we did is that fucking restaurant of ours. We were stuck there working way too much while our dog was dying. That alone makes me seriously consider selling the place or just shutting it down. This cannot happen again, ever. If we keep having to work so much at Mad Kat then there will be no more Mad Kat for us. We didn't totally ignore our pets, we still made time to play with them, but not enough. I wanted to take them all to Donnell Pond one more time, but fuck that we had too much work.

The real problem is this mother-fucking coronavirus pandemic that won't end. Gods damn it I am so sick of this shit. It's time to just get the 'rona and recover or get the 'rona and die. Anything is better than this shit where we have to hide from it all the damn time. I can't take much more of this crap in my life. I'm over it, and it makes living not even enjoyable half the time. I'm okay with dying, I don't fucking care if a virus kills me, I've had a great life already. I had the frigging virus and it didn't kill me. It didn't kill Kat either, and they said it would kill her because she is immune-compromised. However, what they failed to realize is Kat is still badass and it will take a lot to take her out.

^Copper and Tiger Lily from March, 2018. Tiger Lily is 6 months younger than Copper, but she already has a lot of grey on her face. We really worry about her and we fear losing Copper will affect her more than we can know. She's had him in her life forever and now he's gone. Groot has had them both, but she seems more insane and focused elsewhere and I think Groot will be ok. Tiger Lily is the one who bears watching. I've tried to play more with them Since Copper passed away.

The most heartbreaking thing about losing Copper happened the following morning before we went to work. I let Tiget Lily lay on the couch with me because fuck it. At this point they can almost do whatever they want. We used to try more to keep them off the furniture, but I am ok with Tiger Lily coming up to visit now. I watched some news for a bit and then I started to get ready for work and Tiger Lily was able to lay her head on the arm of the couch and look out the window. I know why she was doing that, and it was painful. She was looking for her brother (from another mother), and she kept looking for him for a long time.

Kat and I know why Copper is gone, but I don't think the other two dogs can understand that. I hope they can, and I'm sure they knew he was not doing well before he passed away. Before we took him to the energency vet Sunday night they both came over and licked his face. Even Groot behaved well when we got down on the floor with Copper, and for her that is unprecedented because usually when we get on the floor she gets all excited and tries to jump up for play-time. At some level they knew something was wrong.

^FUCKIN' SNOW. They loved to play in the snow. It won't be the same this winter. Thankfully Tiger Lily and Groot have each other to play with still.

Copper was a great dog. Some dogs are assholes [cough:Amos:cough], but Copper was wonderful. At times he did seem to have too much energy, but how is that a bad thing? When we'd go on trips that took us away for more than a day we knew we were missed because when we'd come home he'd be so happy he'd run around and bark at us. Good, happy barks. Of course he'd always need to have a toy in his mouth right before and after he'd bark. He wasn't half a mellow as Tiger Lily so they made a great pair. He always wanted to play, or so it seemed. Fetch, fetch, and more fetch. He was quirky and a bit OCD for a canine. Things that should not scare dogs scared him, things water (swimming anyway) and food on a spoon. try to give him ice cream on a spoon? Forget it. Would shy away as if it was poison. At times he was timid, but that is not meant to be insulting because he had a deep, authoritative bark and was not afraid to sound off if he thought there was danger. He really was a perfect pet for us, and we lost a good one.

RIP, Chester Copperpot (aka Copper) we will always miss you. Thanks for keeping my wife company when she was recovering from knee surgery and I was at work. Thanks for keeping her company (more-so than the other dogs) when she needed a distraction and you were there ready and willing to play fetch. Indoor fetch? No prob! Just use a lightweight little ball that won't break things when it flies off-track...

^The tennis ball, his favorite. We usually keep those outside for play-time, but they often end up indoors for a bit until we can send them back.

So 2021 can kiss my fucking ass, and it is not even close to over yet. I don't even want to write about anything else today because my heart still hurts from losing Copper.

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Friday, 9-10-21: Vaccine mandates and the 'rona.
Fucking Joe Biden. I used to think Obama was the worst president in my lifetime, and most likely the worst president in the history in the entire United States of America. Not anymore! Obama was terrible (FORCED HEALTH INSURANE = FUCK OFF YOU MUDDA FUCKA), but Biden is the worst of the worst. He's a pudding-head anyway so he really doesn't even know what's going on anymore. I still despise the man, though. He doesn't get a pass from me because he probably has dementia. He's blowing it as out leader, and blowing it badly. Trump was an asshole, but I miss him and want him back.

Yesterday Biden mandated Covid vaccines for all federal workers, and he mandated all employers with 100 or more workers have their staff all get vaccinated or else get tested once a week. OMG WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! The government is now forcing people to get vaccinated, and that is totally un-fuckin-acceptable. This vaccine is so new, and I don't blame anyone who doesn't want to get it. I got it, and I don't regret getting it, but I totally understand why millions of people who don't trust the vaccine yet.

More and more people are covid-fatigued, and I put myself in that category. I'm sick of hiding from this shit. We have six people on our staff who are out with Covid right now, and I thought Doug had covid but thankfully he tested negative today and he is feeling well enough to use the gym. I'm also covid-negative, and that comes as no shock since I feel fine and already had the 'rona a few months ago. Plus I got the vaccine.

Our government has totally blown it on this covid pandemic. I was watching a little news yesterday, and some chick on there said it best. It's not a pandemic anymore now it's an epidemic. It's been (at least) 1.5 years and it seems to be here to stay. No cure? Man-made? Variants? Masks? It's a friggin' mess.

^I love my toilet fail-trophy, but this one is awesome and I should use it from time to time. Here in the USA we have epic failed on how we've handled this covid, but I guess most every nation in the world has also failed. The entire planet = pwned. I guess it's a good thing we don't know how to leave Earth to colonize another world so at least we can't pollute the rest of the galaxy.

I have to work a shitload of hours this week, and Kat has to work just as many hours, just to keep our business open so we can make some money and pay our bills. Plus we need precious... precious money to pay our staff. We had a terrible past few days (as expected after a third covid shutdown), but thankfully today has been better. I ran the place all day, and I was also the server and had a few tables. Earned a few bucks in tips along the way. No server, 1/3 of staff out, but at least I had a bartender and a cook today!

This weekend will be really tough for us. One of our bartenders and good friends just had to take his son to the ER because his wife has covid, and now their young child also has covid and is really sick. Kids are getting the 'rona now, and that is a big change from how things were a year ago when it seemed kids rarely got the virus. We have a cook out with the 'rona, and his kid was still going to school. OMG ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! I think I might fire him because that really pisses me off. Kat feels the same, maybe he doesn't have a job anymore. Plus, to make matters worse, the kid actually tried to come into the restaurant a couple days ago and gave Kat attitude when Kat told her to go home since her dad has covid.

You can't fix stupid. Reason #562,353 why a giant astaroid might just need to come finish us all off.

So in conclusion the Covid-19 has totally fucked our week. Again. What a bunch of crap! We are barely holding things together. Plus Copper has lost 8 pounds in one week, no exaggeation there, and his cancer is even worse so we are going to lose him very soon and we are stuck working too much. Thankfully he still has an appetite so we are feeding him high-protein foods and lots of it. He did play some today. Couldn't play much yesterday thanks to a huge rainstorm. We need to be home more so he doesn't start to die alone. He is an amazing dog and when he passes away Kat and I are going to be a fucking mess.

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Tuesday, 9-07-21: Another Covid shutdown. Hey, time for the gym today.
We had to close the restaurant Sunday around midday, and we were closed all day yesterday because one of our cooks tested Covid-positive. What a bunch of crap! That was our second confirmed case, and even worse his significant-other is also a server for us so of course she became unavailable to work as well. Closing fucking sucked. A lot. We can't keep doing this shit and survive as a business. Thankfully other restaurants are in the same boat these days. Back in mid-August several other local bars and restaurants had to close due to staff getting the 'rona.

We are so new that we don't qualify for jack-fucking-shit for PPP and other government help. If we fail we are fucked. Closing for covid = path to being fucked. Last time we closed it was for a whopping ten days because 7 of us had Covid (including Kat and I what a bunch of crap!) and almost no one was vaccinated yet. Thankfully this time around we "only" had to close for 1.5 days. We are open today, but it is all-bad and we might have to close again.

Things were looking up for us earlier today, but then the wheels fell off the proverbial bus when we found out one of our managers tested positive for Covid. Even worse, she is vaccinated. OMG! She has a sore throat and symptoms. Her husband also works for us (we truly are a family business), but he had the virus back in May when Kat and I had it so he doesn't have it this time.

All I wanna know is why? Why does that happen? Husband has rona, wife does not, they sleep in the same bed. Then, 4 months later, wife has rona and husband does not. They have two young boys so I really hope their kids are healthy. Kids used to be mostly immune to covid, but not so much anymore. These new variants, Delta, Mooo, Booo, and fuck yooooooo are wreaking havoc all over the place.

I can't work for probably a couple hours, and maybe not for days if for some weird reason I do test covid-positive. I have a drive-through test scheduled for 45 minutes from now, and after that I'll have time to shower, eat some food, and *hopefully* get my negative result back so I can go to work. If I can't work tonight we are fucked. Right now Kat is the the only confirmed covid-negative manager we have and she is holding the place together right now. What a bunch of crap!

Physically I feel good. I just got a great workout in my bootleg gym. I'm not really 100% quarantining myself since I've already had rona, I'm vaccinated, and I feel fine. Plus it's my private gym that I fucking own so I'll use it when I want to use it. I won't go to the bar or to stores, out in public until my test result comes back. I did work at the bar this morning before we opened, and then my awesome CEO-wife threw Katherine and I out of there until we get our test results. I'm not mad she had us leave because we should not be there around customers.

Not being able to open the bar yesterday totally fucked my day. Then, to make things even worse, Kat woke up sick so she had to spend the morning in the hospital getting tested for Covid and other stuff. Thankfully she is okay and does not have Covid. It was another nail my my life-coffin, and I don't know how many more nails I can take. I can't run that frigging bar without my wife. I tried to do some inventory, and I did terrible. We did have a few staff there to deep-clean so that was the only positive thing about having to close. We had a chance to tear things apart and tidy them up. I also did FRP on the last wall in the kitchen. It took hours because it was a pain in the ass, but now it's done.

We planned to have plumbers and electricians at the bar yesterday hooking up these:

The washer is actually hooked up, but the new ice machine we just bought is not. The dryer still needs electricians to do a 30A breaker. That shit is 100% above my pay-grade, especially for a commercial setting. The ice maching is not in the photo. That will go off to the left, and we really need it ASAP because buying a few bags a week at the store to supplement what we do have = what a bunch of crap!

Being closed due to 'rona = at least we don't have to run out of ice! (Where's my psychologist, damnit?)

I was in a really bad mood yesterday, and all I wanted to do was close the restaurant and quit everything. Maybe sell the house and even leave the entire area. That restaurant has so much potential to be awesome, but if this pandemic doesn't end we probably won't make it. We keep getting really close to being where we want to be with the place, but we keep having setbacks that totally fuck everything up. If more of us do test covid-positive this week, including myself, we might be all done owning a restaurant. If that happens I guess I can go apply for a job at FedEx. I'm sure they'd hire me, especially this close to what will be a busy Christmas shipping season...

To be clear, I do NOT want to close the restaurant and get a "real" job. I'm happy doing what we do now, and it brings Kat and I closer because we do work so well together. Plus we have so much invested there and so many good, regular customers. Family as employees, etc. Closing for good would be crippling not only financially but also psychologically. Thankfully we do still have some "Oh shit!" money in reserve so we can weather some more covid... for now. If we hadn't sold North Main last month this shutdown probably would have ended our short run as restaurant/bar owners, though. Seriously. We had no reserves for "Oh shit" moments until we closed on that property and got the funds on Auguts 17th.

Alright turds, all two of you who read this bootleg site, I'm heading out soon to go get tested for the 'rona. If I don't have Covid I won't update this shit-heap for a few days because I'll be working. A lot. I have to put in epic hours this week, but it's a small price to pay to keep things running. Until our staff can return from Covid we are thread-bare on help so I'll have to do a little bit of everything there.

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Saturday, 9-04-21: Stupid fucking 'rona.
I'm so sick of this fucking Coronavirus that just lingers on and on, month after month. The thing is a turd that will not flush. It's also a massive turd in the punch-bowl of our lives.

^FUCKING GUMBI-TURD REPRESENTING COVID-19 WITH ITS SHIT-EATING (PUN INTENDED) GRIN IN MY PRECIOUS... PRECIOUS PUNCH BOWL. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

One of our servers was around people who tested positive for Covid at a competing, nearby restaurant and bar. He works there part-time, he just started there a few days ago, and the place already gave him the 'rona. How's that for a welcome to a new job? Since he also works for us he was in Wednesday night (off-duty) and he came over to our table and talked to Doug and I for a while. Kat was also there, but I think she was at the DJ booth when he came to the table. Maybe? Hopefully! We're vaccinated, but that vaccine is not bulletproof and there are lots of "breakthrough" cases lately where vaccinated people still get the virus.

No one was wearing a mask Wednesday night so he could have easily passed his 'rona over to Doug, Kat, and I. I don't think I have 'rona again because I feel fine and I just frigging had it a few months ago. However, this is most likely a man-made piece of shit virus so who knows how many times you can get it? Probably more than once for most people.

I haven't seen Doug yet today to see how he is feeling. Even worse for Doug, on Thursday night he went down to the bar to meet some old high school friends, people he hasn't seen in years, and that guy was their server. OMG! He was wearing a mask then, but he had to leave because he started feeling sick so that is all-bad. I don't know if Doug is vaccinated or not, that is his private business, but I do know he probably hasn't had the 'rona yet like Kat and I did. I hope he's not sick. He was supposed to work with me tonight running the front host desk at the bar, but we'll see maybe he can't work now.

Kat and I have spent a lot of time already today shuffling the proverbial pieces around the staffing board. We are spread very thin tonight so my ass is prepared to work. Poor Kat was supposed to have today off, but she's at the bar now working and has to DJ again tonight. It's all due to Covid, too. What a bunch of crap! The bar was epic-busy last night (great!) so we had to call in extra help and now some of those people need to sleep so it's a domino-effect for us. Will we be epic busy again tonight? Maybe? I almost hope we're not busy so we can handle it all.

If we do end up being too short-staffed we can always close, but I think we have enough people available to make it work. I can run the front and limit how many people we allow in if I have to. I'll start a waiting list. I don't want to, but I will. When we first opened we had a waiting list most Friday and Saturday nights due to Covid limitations. Now we're allowed to let more people in so we almost never have to turn people away.

I wasn't supposed to work until 1700 today, but I already worked three hours so Katherine could sleep. She was MOD today, but thanks to the 'rona that got all twisted. I came home around noon, but I did forget to clock out again epic fail me. I forgot to clock out yesterday, too. I always forget because most of the time I don't even clock in. What a bunch of crap!

The worst part of this new Covid issue is the potential to bone me for tomorrow, hard. Doug and I were going to head down to Warren tomorrow to celebrate Mom's 65th birthday. Her birthday was actually Wednesday, but doing the birthday party on a Sunday works best for her and for Jason due to their work schedules. Now I'm not sure I can even go because I was directly exposed to that fuckin' virus three days ago. I'll call them later and see what they think.

^FUCKERS WHO INVENTED COVID-19 YOU SUCK.

We need some levity here. How about this gem of a $20 bill that circulated into my possession?

^AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA! Hey, it does say "Jackson." below the dude. HAHAHAHAHAHA. I wonder how long that took someone to do? Also, I wonder if the bank would even take it? I might save it because it is genius. Michael Jackson was probably a piece of shit human, but he's dead now and he will forever be an icon. His best song? Thriller of course.

I need to go take a nap soon; I'm just waiting to see if Dillon wants to work a few hours of overtime so Kat and I can rest together before we both work tonight. I don't want her to work tonight, but Heather can't DJ since her babysitter bailed thanks, again, to covid-19.

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Friday, 9-03-21: Bar = busy. Me = boozed up and tired. Copper= hard to write about right now.
I have tonight off from the bar because I worked all day. I don't work too many day shifts down at that place, but today I did and that is okay. My awesome wife writes the schedule and I pretty much just roll with it. Like a Steve Winwood song from 1988! If you don't like Steve Winwood then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more. Winwood is great, but I don't listen to his music very much anymore because 80s hair rock is better.

I was at the bar for a while tonight, but now I am back home and hanging out. I gotta put Copper out more because he is on pregnozone. I just spelled that wrong, but I don't even care... whether or not I care about spelling right now. I do care about Copper, and I played some fetch with him earlier. He is not even 6 years old, and he is dying. Stage 3B lymphoma. I don't know what the hell lymphoma is, but it is a deadly cancer that is not curable. We could drive our Golden down to Portland for doggie-chemo, but according to the experts it would just prolong the inevitable and make him severely uncomfortable. He cannot live to be old, an that is incredibly depressing. Writing "what a bunch of crap!" doesn't even beging to scratch the surface on how Kat and I feel.

^This photo from 2016 when Copper was still only a few months old cripples my entire soul right now. I should delete it, but deleting history = bad life decision. When Copper dies Kat and I are going to be a fucking mess. Possibly for days. I do have extreme emotional flaws, but this one is going to prove I'm not totally emotionally impotent. I already cried once when we found out he has cancer. It's just not fair to him at all because he is a wonderful dog with a great soul. How do you judge a dog's soul? It just happens. Copper and Tiger Lily are amazing dogs. Groot can fuck off, but she is needed because she creates a sort-of bridge that makes both Copper and Tiger Lily play more... So I really don't hate Groot, and I love her more now that I did three years ago when we got her.

All I wanna know is why? Why does our dog have to be dying of fucking cancer before he even hits old age? He still has good energy in spurts, and he still wants to play fetch. It seems unbelievable that in a month or two his body will be ravaged by a cancer that all the money in the world could not cure. We don't even have all the money in the world, not even close, and even if we did I don't think he could be saved. It really pisses me off that a dog can only live 6 years yet a piece of shit human like [Biden] can live to be almost 80. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! For those of you who believe in God, maybe stop because the entire concept is fucked. Our dog is going to die, and he is a great dog and there is no God. Same for little kids who get cancer; that is really the worst. One time in Florida I saw it first-hand, and it almost made me a good person. I'm not there yet, but it brought me closer anyway. When I saw the hall of kids who got cancer and died I became a total shit-show, and I needed half the tissues in that place. Then my chick went in and saw it, she didn't shed one tear, and I knew that was a problem so now I am with a chick who has emotions. When I cry and my chick doesn't cry that is a serious red flag! That last part might not be 100% historically accurate, but damn it is close.

If I get cancer I'm out. Just see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya. I don't fuckin' care if I die my life has been great already. I'll check out whenever because living to be really old = seemed like a good idea 10 years ago but now seems fucking stupid. At least humans can usually be aware when they start to fail, though. Poor Copper has no idea and probably wonders why he feels like shit for half the time. Needless to say we treat him like a king so he gets the best food and play-time from now on. Fuck you, dry dog food. He gets the stuff in a can that even I think looks pretty good. I don't plan to eat canned dog food anytime soon or ever, but I'd take that over the dry stuff. I've actually been so drunk I have eaten dog food before. What a bunch of crap! In my defense that was forever ago, though.

I feel like playing Nintendo, but I ate some of an edible not so long ago so I might not make it. I should bivouac soon since it's only 2300, but we'll see how it goes. I just poured a shot of Dr. McGillicutty's so that might help me sleep a little. Maybe? Hopefully! I don't really sleep well anymore so that sucks. A lot. Half the time I bivouac I either eat some of an edible or have some booze or both. I used to sleep better, but now there is always too much on my mind. What a bunch of crap!

Thinking about cancer just fucked up my night so now I need more alcohol. Poor Copper. I think it was 2012 when I was in Florida with Make-A-Wish and the entire cancer thing. I dunno for sure, but possibly I can look it up in the archives of this bootleg site that no one should ever read. Guy looks...

Okay FUCK THAT. Looking at my archives hurts too much so nevermind that shit. My life = holy fucking shit what in the hell have I done? I've done it all, but I didn't go to prison or do hard drugs so that is a win. Plus I've never cheated so that is also a win, at least for me. There is a cat doing stupid shit right now, but I don't even care... whether or not I care. Bedtime will be soon once this edible kicks in...

I think I will play Super Mario Wii soon. Maybe? Hopefully! We have Katherine's Wii sitting right here, but I don't know if I can turn it on and make it work. Serioulsy! I loaned my SNES Classic to Doug so I won't be playing that. I might not even make it because I am tired and should bivouac soon. We'll see how it goes...


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