(Last updated: 5-19-2019)


Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.

If you want to know who the hell I am and why I spent my hard-earned $17.99 to register this domain and to share my thoughts with the world then you can click here to find out. I have no update schedule so if you don't like it then you can ggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttt oooooooouuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt!

"I'm not happy with the way I look either." -Katherine
"What have you done to change that?" -Me
"Nothing!" -Katherine

Click here to check out my bootleg quotes page.


ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Why are you still here? Chances are pretty damn good that I WILL insult you in some fashion if you choose to continue beyond this point. The purpose of this site is to entertain me, and I am often entertained at the expense of others. Therefore, prepare to be slandered. A lot. It's still not to late to leave with your feelings intact!

Sunday, 5-19-19: Vacation = FUN.
We got home from our week-long vacation yesterday just after 0400, and we thankfully didn't have any flight delays or unexpected bullshit either on our way to our beautiful resort or on our way home. The trip was awesome, and we all had a wonderful time down in Mexico at the Royal Haciendas. Our third stay in there since 2015. How cool is that?! Getting our money's worth from buying a time share on our honeymoon four years ago = Oh jesus hell ya!

We brought two of our great friends with us on the trip, Neil and Angela, and they were really cool travelling companions. Ang had never flown before so she was nervous about the flight down to Cancun from Boston. Thankfully it was an uneventful flight and a good trip from the airport to the resort. Unfortunately it was incredibly gods damned hot from our exit off the plane in Cancun until we cleared customs, but we made it through okay. Neil, Kat, and Ang all drank at Jester's right before we left for Boston so being boozed up and then borderline hungover for the flight might not have been the best combination for the bunch. I did sleep for a couple hours before we left, and I didn't drink before we headed south since I was the driver. I more than made up for the drinking during our stay at the RH, though.

This time the four of us decided to take advantage of the AI (all inclusive) option at the resort. Since Kat and I are owners we got a better $70/day/person price for the AI for all of us as opposed to the $100/day rate for nonmembers. AI = all the food and drinks for one price. If we weren't going to have any alcohol I would say the AI is not a great deal, but we drank plenty and then some so AI ended up being a total no-brainer. In fact we spent more time right at the resort than we ever have. We only left the place for two smaller part-day excursions, one to Tulum to see Mayan ruins and one to shop in town for a couple hours.

The resort had everything we needed and then some. Shitloads of great food and a seemingly endless supply of booze. Several different swimming pools as well, and we spent a lot of time down by the water. Too much time because we all got varying degrees of sunburn.

^My awesome wife in the pool making a bootleg smile face with that floatie-thingie. She probably had a few tequila shots by then. We got to know our server well, Juan, and he was amazingly great to us. Of course we tipped him well so that probably encouraged him to give us a little extra service above and beyond the basics.

^Even though we did drink a lot we never overdid it (okay maybe we pushed a little too hard Wed!), and we were able to get up early enough to see a gorgeous sunrise over the Caribbean. Sadly there was a crapload of seaweed in the ocean, but it didn't ruin our fun because swimming in the ocean = what a bunch of crap! Fresh water pools > ocean swims.

^The servers seemed to like us. That middle drink is one shot of Jose Cuervo tequila. One shot. OMG! We guessed it was 3 or 4 ounces, and one shot is normally an ounce so we got hooked the hell up. I drank a lot of tropical drinks by the pool, drinks with cool fun names like Banana Monkey, BBC, Bay Breeze, etc. I also drank a lot of Dos Equis beers as did Neil and Ang. On Wed night I asked Neil how many beers he had drank that day, and he hilariously replied "All of them!" HAHAHAHA.

The most fun I had there was definitely Wednesday. We did morning yoga, ate a huge breakfast (as usual) at the buffet, and then claimed four poolside chairs. We were at the pool before 1000, and Juan was bringing us booze within that hour. I waited until closer to 11 to have my first drink, a rum and coke, and by lunchtime we were all drinking at least a little alcohol. We had a great poolside lunch and kept drinking and swimming, and by later in the PM we were all quite liquored up. By then we were doing lemon drop shots while Kat had more tequila. We did hold up on the booze for a little while for supper, but then it was drink o'clock again before we went down to the evening entertainment of DJ/dance music. "SoChill", the server at the entertainment area, was also fantastic and kept the drinks coming. We all had great fun and my dumb drunk ass has a video somewhere on Failbook of the attempts to drink and dance. Failbook = what a bunch of crap! I'd post the video here as well, but I don't have it since I don't use Failbook.

^The view from our 4th floor balcony. This year we had more time than we have ever had to just relax and enjoy the surroundings. It helped that Kat and I didn't do that timeshare presentation in order to get free stuff that we didn't need. This was the first time ever down there that we didn't do the timeshare thing, and I don't even for one second regret that decision because we got extra precious... precious time to lounge around at the pool and on the resort.

The staff down there was amazing. Even the maids take pride in what they do.

^How cool is that?! They did that last year, too. Also probably the year we stayed on our honeymoon in 2015, but I can't recall that one for sure.

Overall I think the vacation cost Kat and I just under $3000. It is a lot of money, but not that bad considering how much fun we had and how much we ate and drank. Also we spent $200-300 on cool stuff down there when we shopped. Some for ourselves and some gifts for family and friends. We stayed in a spacious 2BR villa with a full kitchen, but F cooking we just ate at the restaurants there all week. Paying Katherine to watch the dogs also factors into that total cost. Drive to Boston, parking, tolls, shuttle to and from resort, etc. Totally worth it and can't wait to do it again!



Friday, 5-10-19: Typical busy before-vacation day.
I had a lot of stuff to do today, and I still have a few more things left on the list at this mid-afternoon hour. We leave for our vacation in under 12 hours now. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I still have to figure out when I will sleep or even IF I will sleep between now and when we head south at about 0200. No big worries if I don't sleep since I've gotten what I believe is a solid night's sleep for the last three consecutive nights. It's been a long time, or so it seems, since I have strung together three consecutive good nights of sleep. Not sleeping enough for days on end = what a bunch of crap!

I think I will sleep tonight for a couple or three hours, maybe 2200-0030? Or I might fall asleep around 1700, but that seems unlikely since I still have to do a walkthrough with Dakota around the bootleg properties. He's gonna mow the lawns next week, at least I hope he is. I originally wanted to mow today and then do it when we get back, but today is fucked up the ass 42 degrees and soaking rains so screw that. A day like today up here sure makes me look forward to tropical weather!

The last two days up here were actually really nice, and we got a lot done down at Phil's house. When we wrapped up for the day yesterday this is where we had left off:

Those gods damned octagon corners... what a bunch of crap those are! As is clearly evident in the photo we still have A LOT left to shingle. Everything to the right plus another larger section not even in the photo. A lot of that right side will be 45-degree cuts and up and down a ladder, too. For sure it will be a busy push the last half of this month for us to get most of that done. We won't work down there again for about 1.5 weeks since we're taking a much-needed vacation.

My phone has been crazy with texts and calls today. I have a meeting tonight at 1900 with a tax client, Kat works at Jester's, and I have been coordinating last-minute things with Phil, with tax clients, with my contractors, etc. Mom is out west she texted me that Uncle Kev won at a casino. I have Gavin set up to cover the rentals in the event of any emergencies. Rent receipts done, one more rent still to collect this PM, trash thrown, house cleaned, hair cut, packing *mostly* done. Lots of shorts, tank tops, and tee shirts. Bring on 88 degrees and ocean breezes! Palm trees?! Oh Jesus can't wait to see them all!

^Used often lately and for good reason because it is awesome, especially after a long Maine winter.

We are doing about the same thing that we did last year for our trip to the RH in Mexico, but with different travelling companions. Last year Dillon, Debbie, and Katherine came with us and this year it will be Neil and Angela. Katheine will stay home and watch the dogs for free rent this month. She pays rent because she decided to not go to college so welcome to the "real world." (We don't charge that much, less than if she lived on her own by a lot.) Plus she gets vacation pay from her work, but I'm sure that's not a huge consolation since we're taking a vacation without her this time. Hopefully the kids can come with us next year if they want to do so.

So after Jester's closes down and the gear is stowed here at the house we'll grab Neil and Angala (who both live very close) and head to Boston. Our flight leaves Logan airport at 0755 so if we're on the road by 0200 we'd be at the airport by around 0600. We should land in Cancun around 1115 and then we shuttle to Playa Del Carmen and our "home" resort of the RH. We will get to the RH before our official check-in time of 1600, but that is okay even if our room is not ready we can hang out at the resort and explore around the property for a couple hours. We can get food and a drink, etc. Last year we got there before 1600 and our room was ready so maybe we will get lucky again. We had an AWESOME room last year so hopefully we get a good one again. The rooms are all the same, but certain ones do have better views than others...

We will be exhausted when we arrive, but that's okay it's a small price to pay for what will hopefully be a great getaway. Last year my awesome wife was liquored up for the drive south to Boston, but she did sober up by the time we hit southern Maine. Stop for a piss at a couple different rest areas? Definite yes last year. I'm driving so obviously I won't even have one drop of alcohol tonight. Hopefully I can sleep a little. I normally can sleep some on the plane so if I don't sleep at all tonight I can rest a little on that 4.25-hour journey (one hour time change in flight.)

Why fly out of Boston? In case I didn't mention it the other times we've flown from there, the prices are half what they are in Bangor. Not a huge deal with one traveler, but with a larger group that adds up to many hundreds of dollars saved, even with the gas, tolls, and parking fees needed for a trip to Boston. Plus flight times are a lot better from BOS. If we flew out of Bangor we'd have shitty layovers and longer total travel time whereas our flight south tomorrow is a nonstop to CUN. Nonstop flight = DO WANT MOAR OF.

Alright turds, all two of youz who read this shitpile of a site, I am out of here. I shall return more tan!



Tuesday, 5-07-19: A part-day off.
I took yesterday kinda off from work. We didn't go down to Phil's, but I had a few things to do up here. I had three days worth of mail over at my rental office, I had some rent in the drop box, I collected rent from a tenant, and I met with tax clients. The client meeting was not to actually do taxes, but it was to help them figure out their situation regarding earning income and collecting social security at age 62. I did a bunch of research for them, and they left my office happy. I also gave them some advice as far as being a good slumlord goes since they own a couple rental properties. )Now since they left with my advice their buildings will go to hell in a handbasket hehe...)

I had hoped to fire up a lawn mower yesterday to do a little spot-mowing, but I never got that far. Instead we raked up the front and side yard here at our house and I lifted a few weights and went for a jog before I cooked half of the turkey that I shot last week for supper. Dad told me how to make turkey-tenders, and they came out tasting pretty damn good. Even my awesome wife had some, and she normally doesn't eat my deer or turkey meals becase I am not a very good cook.

^Makes for good turkey tenders, but is a pain in the arse to do because crumbs get all over the place and you have to dip each piece in egg first. I suck in the kitchen, but every now and then I pull something off that tastes okay.

Since some rain is coming from around midday on we're not going down to work at Phil's today. Instead I'll do DDP Yoga in a bit with Kat and then Dakota and I will work around the rental properties for about 3 hours until lunch. I have a dirt pile at North Main that is half-spread around, and I have to load up the truck for a dump run. The dump is open Tues-Sat through most of this month for spring cleanup so that gives me a few extra chances to haul on junk. Normally the dump is only open the first and third Sat of each month, and having the landfill only open twice a month = what a bunch of crap!

We will work hard down in Oakland tomorrow and Thursday, and then I can finish up a few more things Friday before we leave for our vacation to the RH in Playa Del Carmen in Mexico. That trip can't come fast enough because it will finally give us a break from working. I really don't get to take many days off lately because even when I don't have a lot on the schedule I end up busy. Yesterday was a classic example of that, and even this morning I've already spend a half hour paying business bills and budgeting. $800 on the Lowe's card, $200 on the Home Depot card, bye bye $1000. I put a lot of supplies for that massive N Main remodel on the Home Depot and Lowe's cards last fall (special dererred interest deals) so now I have to whittle those account balances down before high interest rates kick in.

I don't understand the dogs. It is 0715 so I figure it's time to feed them their breakfast. Groot is a little piggy so she loves feeding time and eats her food quickly. (She's not fat, but she eats like she is!) However, both Copper and Tiger Lily give no craps about their food. Tiger Lily actually walked away from her dog food. Is she a food snob? She just came back and is now picking away at it, but she will walk away again before she finishes because that is how she rolls. Copper is laying over by the bedroom door and hasn't shown any interest at all in his food yet. What a bunch of crap!

Alright, he just came over to sniff his food and now he is eating. It is weird. We buy them good dog food, too.

I guess I should go do things now. The end. Fin. Goonies never say die!



Sunday, 5-05-19: We worked all weekend.
Dakota and I had two very productive days working down at Phil and Danielle's house. The weather was great, not too hot, not too cold, not too sunny, not too windy, and not a drop of rain. Oh Jesus hell ya! Unfortunately the sun is still strong through the clouds, and the sun was out in full just long enough to give us both a bit of a burn. I was very pasty from a winter of no sun so that didn't help at all. Now I am sunburned. What a bunch of crap! I don't think I have a bad burn, though. It doesn't hurt at all, and hopefully tomorrow it will look more tan than red.

^Over the weekend we shingled all of that, which is not much at all from a square footage standpoint. Those gods damned corners do slow us way down. That is an octagon room so there are a lot of corners left to go. What a bunch of crap!

The next section that we need to shingle is on this side:

I had some rot to replace there, but nothing too bad as compared to what I posted a week or two ago. Dealing with that propane-box-thing, the pipes for the gas lines, and the garden spigot took up a lot of precious... precious time. Also stripping off old shingles takes a long time, too. If I had to do it all by myself it would never get done so thankfully I have a helper who is very competent.

I am not working down in Oakland tomorrow because I have things to do up here. Plus we won't bivouac until around 0330 tonight due to the Pour House karaoke show and GAME OF THRONES. There are only three episodes of GOT left, but each episode is around 80-90 minutes long. I am not going to take a nap, I am going to stay awake and power up, and Dakota wants to go over to the Pour House to hang out for a bit so I'll leave shortly for that. I won't booze too much, at least I hope I don't, because being sober-ish for GOT would be nice.

I feel like I still have a lot to do in the next five days before we leave late Friday night/first thing Sat AM for our Mexico vacation. Tomorrow looks to be great weather so hopefully I can get one of my two mowers going (both?) and spot-mow. Nothing is too green yet, but there are a couple spots in need of attention. Not our back yard yet, though. That yard is pwned and I need to figure out how to make it luscious and green. It might be an impossible task with three dogs and a huge maple tree shading out half the yard back there, but I gotta at least try...

Hey awesome, the Red Sox won again today and are now 17-18 on the season. They've played very well lately after a shit-show of a beginning to their season. The Yankees are still ahead of them in the standings, though. What a bunch of crap!



Thursday, 5-02-19: One miss one hit.
We were supposed to go install shingles in Oakland today, but the weather is shit on toast again. What a bunch of crap! 38 degrees, drizzle, and a forecast high temp down there for most of the work day in the low 40s. It will hit 48 there today around 1600, but that would be quitting time so F that. So instead we will go work down there Saturday, and that was originally supposed to be a day off. The weekend looks decent with clouds and temps in the 60s. Oh Jesus hell ya! 60s will feel like a heat wave after so many cooler days lately.

We are supposed to hit the low 50s up here today since this "storm" is south of us. That isn't too bad so I'll have Dakota help me for about 2-3 hours this afternoon doing more yard cleanup around the rental properties midafternoon. This morning I'll do some paperwork, do DDP Yoga, and lift some weights in my bootleg gym. I also need a tenant to help me figure out what the hell is going on with this rent check that was in my drop box yesterday:

^AHAHAHAHAHA Epic fail and what a bunch of crap all rolled up into one. It's like he started the check and then decided to just quit halfway through. Did not fill in dollar amount and did not sign it. Does that mean I can make up my own number for the month? Hehehe. My bank would laugh my ass out of there if I tried to cash that note.

I plan to do some cleanup and maybe a little earth work here:

^Between garage and main building, and that part faces the street so everyone who pays attention can see it looks like crap. What a bunch of crap! Shingles from the old garage roof have blown all over the place so that roof needs to get replaced ASAP. Hopefully this fall...

^Back yard extra dirt from having the driveway built. It's looked like that all damn winter. What a bunch of crap! That place still needs much work, but thankfully the office and rental part of the building have been done so we are at least *mostly* covering our costs.

I went down to the ol' homestead and got a turkey. I missed one, I shot one, and I tried to sneak up on one to the end result of epic fail. Dad and I went out to the prison farm Tuesday evening, and there were turkeys everywhere. A group of toms and jakes were in one field, and I snuck up on them in the woods and got pretty close. I did two hen yelps with my little pocket-call, and I got a couple of them to come close. Unfortunately my shot was no good so bye bye turkeys. I am amazed that I missed because the shot felt good enough and they were not far away, but I was in a bunch of brush so that probably screwed me up. I don't even know if I have EVER missed a turkey before in my life. I missed with a bow, but my shotgun is usually deadly when I do it right.

Shortly after that I tried to sneak up on turkeys out in the fields by "Rifleman Rock", but I blew that one. I got perfectly in position to call, but when I reached into my pocket I realized my little call was not there. It had fallen out, and by then I had wasted a shitload of precious... precious energy low-crawling to the edge of that field and was sweaty. I didn't have the energy to low-crawl search backtrack so I just walked around looking for the call as turkeys flew away. What a bunch of crap! I did find my call at least.

Finally when I knew I didn't deserve any success I did get lucky. I tried to call in a large group of turkeys from a rock island in another field, but they were about 75 yards away and just out of range. My calling did not work at all, and I was about to quit when I noticed three turkeys scooting across the field apparently enroute to join the larger group. Even better were the red heads, larger sizes, and proximity. Within range! I called again, turkey hen purrs, and all three stopped to look around. That gave me enough time to line up on the closest one, take my time doing it right (only takes an extra second or two to mentally check off the basics like head firmly on butt of gun, squeeze trigger, etc) and drop that bird on the spot. I thought I had shot a jake, but turns out I got a nice 19.6-pound tom. Oh Jesus hell ya! He was 42 yards away when I shot him so that was a bit of a poke with my shotgun. No brush in the way and a good, still target made the difference.

I should have shot two, but hey one is great.

Yesterday morning Jason and I did some hunting on his new piece of property before he had to leave and go work. He is incredibly busy (I can relate!) so he only hunted with me for about an hour. He has a field out back and nice, open, mostly hardwood forest that goes a few hundred yards back down to the river. He had a shitload of turkeys in his field when I got there, but we could not get a shot at one at all. We snuck up and peeked over a stone wall to see hens only a few feet away. That might have spooked them some, but maybe not. Unfortunately once the turkeys left the field I didn't see or hear another turkey for the rest of the morning. What a bunch of crap! I spent a few hours hunting that property, too. (I actually did see turkeys way in a field across the river, but too far away to matter.)

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