(Last updated: 1-20-2022)


Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.

If you want to know who the hell I am and why I spent my hard-earned $18.17 to register this domain and to share my thoughts with the world then you can click here to find out. I have no update schedule so if you don't like it then you can ggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttt oooooooouuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt!

"Who would pay for farts in a jar?
" -Me
"I give you my farts for free.
" -Kat

Click here to check out my bootleg quotes page.


ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Why are you still here? Chances are pretty damn good that I WILL insult you in some fashion if you choose to continue beyond this point. The purpose of this site is to entertain me, and I am often entertained at the expense of others. Therefore, prepare to be slandered. A lot. It's still not to late to leave with your feelings intact!

Thursday, 1-20-22: Biden after one year in office.
Our useless, mind-pudding, career politician of a president jut reached one year in office. His term is 25% over, and so far it has ben a total shit-show. Democratic president Joe Biden is awful. Worse than Obama? I fucking hated Obama's presidency for the unconstitutional and far-overreaching "Obamacare" health insurance mandate he put in place. What a bunch of crap that was! Obama was a FUCKING TERRIBLE president. Biden was his vice president, and now Biden is our president. Is Biden worse than Obama was? Of course he is!

I miss Trump as president, and I hope he runs again so I can vote for him. My fucking bad not voting for Trump 14 months ago. I didn't vote for Biden either because I've always thought Biden was a piece of shit. I thought Trump was also a piece of shit. I actually still think Trump is a piece of shit. He probably cheats on his wife and he thinks he is a deity. However, when Trump was president we prospered. We were energy independent, the economy did well, and our border was a lot more secure. If our economy is good do I really care if Trump says stupid shit like "Just grab her by the pussy?" I do care, I waant a good president who is an honorably-discharged military veteran with at least some moral certitude. Sadly as long as the other candidates are terrible I'll take Trump all day every day.

According to NBC Biden's approval rating is all the way down to 43%. That is all-bad. However, supposdely Trump's approval rating after one year in office was only 39%. All I wanna know is why? Why is that so? It was an NBC poll so I guess it has bias? I don't know one single person who has EVER sang any praise to Biden. NONE. Everyone thinks he is a pudding-head!


When I was younger I didn't care as much about who ran this nation as I do now. Decisions made at the very top affect everything my awesome wife and I do as business owners. Our restaurant and bar will fail if we have weak-ass leaders who keep letting a two-year pandemic rule people's lives. Also, inflation is at a multi-decade high so how long will it be before we have to start charging $20 for a burger and fries? How can we stay in business if inflation is fucked and no one has any buying power?

A big effect of the Biden disasterous presidency is energy prices. We just got the electric bill for the bar, $2112 for the last month. OMG WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! Next month's gas bill for heat and cooking is going to be just as high. Fuel prices are close to double what they were just a year or two ago, and to make matters worse this has been a very cold month. Below average lately, and next week looks to be very cold as well. What a bunch of crap!

Enough about politics. I feel ready for the tax season, and my first three in-person customers are on the calendar for next Monday. I didn't have to work too hard today, just some training courses, but I work at the bar as night manager for the next three nights and next week I also have a 2-bedroom apartment to start renovating. The same tenants have been there since before I bought the place in 2005 so it will need all new paint and probably several other upgrades. The timing of that is TERRIBLE since I am starting to get tax clients and since I have to start working more at the bar. What a bunch of crap!

2022 is NOT off to a good start.

A rep from a company selling Mainiac hard cider alcohol came to the bar when I was in the office doing some "Servesafe" type training yesterday. Servesafe is important, and if I want to be a restaurant owner I should know that stuff. Plus I need to do it before we can renew an upcoming permit hehehe. The course talks about things like how to be safe around food so we don't get customers sick. I learned who Typhoid Mary was, and I know how to properly wash my hands after I take a shit. I already knew how to wash my hands, but when I take a dump at work and go to handle food I have to "double wash" my hands. Reminds me of bus driver Miss Gushee's "Double warning" from when I was a kid. One time I got kicked off the bus (double warning?) and could not get a ride to school so I had to stay home and stack wood for a few days. What a bunch of crap! School was not that far away I guess my parents hated me and didn't want to drive me? I barely remember that.

Typhoid Mary was a fucking asshole. She had Typhoid, she made food, lots of people got sick and she had to go to prison for 3 years. They let her ass out and told her not to be a cook anymore, but she changed her name and became a cook again and got more people sick. What a bunch of crap! So she got locked up again for the rest of her life, or something like that.

Fuck you, Typhoid Mary! I did most of the training course, and I still don't know exactly what Typhoid is. What a bunch of crap! I know it's all-bad and I don't want it.

This Maniac Cider beer is not so good. I'm half in the bag so it's better than nothing, but not by much. I think Natty Light is better, and it's probably half the price. I got a 4-pack sampler. A cranberry, blueberry, apple, and... apple? I dunno what the difference between the last two is. I tried three of them, and I cleansed my pallette with Dunkin Donuts Munchkins in between tasting. Isn't that the right thing to do? I thought wine tasters ate crackers in between their tasting? I dunno because FUCK WINE. This Cider beer almost tastes like wine, and I don't want to sell it in our bar. It kinda sucks!

One of the best Cider beers I've ever tasted is Blackberry Downeast Cider. We have that on tap now, but I've been told it's only seasonal so soon it might not be available? We also sell a Citizen Cider that is not too shabby. I like most cider-beers, but I can't drink them to excess because they are all too sweet.

^Great Cider beer that wins.

I bought 50 Dunkin Donuts Munchkins yesterday morning, and they cost $11.09. OMG! 50 little donut-holes, not that much product. I had a $5 gift certificate, but I still had to pay $6. It was actually $7 because I left $1 in the tip jar. THAT IS VERY FUCKING EXPENSIVE WTF?! They taste good, but I won't go buy those again because I don't want to go bankrupt buying friggin' donuts. Plus after a day they get crusty and don't taste as good. Gods damn it!

Alright turds, all two of you who read this pathetic excuse for a site, I am going to go do other things now. I was watching channel 1928 (80s music!), I flipped to Fox News where they also hate Biden, and I also was watching Gold Rush Whitewater. I'm watching the one from early December because I don't keep up with the new episodes. What a bunch of crap!



Saturday, 1-15-22: Tax office = pretty much ready to go.
I did a bunch of tax-training, I set up all my programs, I have my memoribila on the walls, and I feel like my new tax office is just about ready to go and I can start taking actual clients. I was supposed to have my first in-person client Monday, but she pushed it back to the 24th. I have two appointments on the calandar for the 24th. The IRS beging accepting e-filed tax returns on the 24th, but the appointments on that date are not by design. People made those appointments before the IRS announced their start date.

I did work on our own taxes. We don't have our w2s yet from the bar (Bangor Savings does our payroll and will issue those most likely next week with paychecks), but I used our pay stubs to extrapolate enough numbers to use. Adding up my rental property data was easier than it's been since around 2005 because I only have the one property left over at Allen Rd. I don't have all of my tax business expenses separated yet, but that won't take long. Looks like we'd owe close to $15,000 to both the IRS and the state if not for what should be some large losses from the bar to offset that. Owing that much = what a bunch of crap! The number wouldn't be so high if we hadn't sold North Main last year...

^Same desk I've had for a few years now, different location.

^I get a good view out that window and to the entry/host area of the bar so when I don't have clients at my desk I can do some tax research/work and help run the bar.

Working on our own taxes before anyone else's taxes gives me a chance to reacquaint with the software and see any new features and things that have changed year-over-year. There is a lot going on this tax season for people who have kids to claim. Child tax credits are higher than ever, and some of those were paid as an advance from July through Dec last year so I have to get that right. Also, there was one stimulus around March last year to reconcile so it won't always be easy. More work for me. What a bunch of crap! Oh well, I will raise the pricing just a tad to help offset that.

^A view of the office from behind the host desk. I did install a drop-box you can see on the left side of the door; we also use that for the bar. I'll have all my customers come in through the bar, but that office does have a separate door (the old Jester's door) that I could use if absolutely needed.

I don't know how many paying clients I'll have this season, but my guess is somewhere around 150. I think I had 140 last year? Guy looks it up because guy can't remember... 137. I'll pick up a few new ones both from our employees who want my help and from some regular customers who know I have a small tax business. I definitely am NOT advertising or putting up any signs. I'll have to start working 3 days a week at the bar as MOD (manager on duty) starting next month so I won't have as much precious... precious free time starting next month and lasting through mid April. The extra money will be nice to have, though.

We officially announced to the staff that we are going to be closing the bar on Mondays starting on the 31st of this month. No sense being open on a day when, at best, we only break even. This Monday business was down and we actually had a few hundred dollar loss for the day. What a bunch of crap! Yesterday was a good day for business, and it felt like a normal Friday night at the bar for me for the first time since before Christmas. Christmas eve was a Friday the 24th so we lost that night, New Year's eve was a Friday and that was a wild ride, definitely not our usual Friday. Then last week we had limited hours with limited staff since a few of us, myself included, had FUCKING COVID. What a bunch of crap that was!

I don't want to leave the house because it's so cold outside. Last night the temp dropped down to well below zero with wind chill. It was 5 degrees outside midafternoon not long ago. What a bunch of crap! Not sure if this extreme cold will deter people from going out, but it probably will. Plus the Patriots play the Bills tonight in round one of the playoffs so people might just stay home to watch it. The Pats finished their season at 10-7, second place in the division to the Bills. They have to play in Buffalo where it will be around zero degrees. I'll be MOD at work while the game is on. Pats are underdogs, but who knows they did beat the Bills several weeks ago in Buffalo. Then the Bills came to Foxboro and beat the Patriots a couple weeks later. What a bunch of crap!

Alright turds, all two of you who read this bootleg site of mine, I should throw a couple more logs on the fire and get ready for work. For the first time this year my awesome wife and I had a chance to hang out here at the house for a few hours, watch some TV (A terrible NBC show called La Brea that was not really worth our precious... precious time), and have a nice fire. Kat doesn't work tonight so I'll get the fire going nicely for her before I roll out. Sucks I have to warm up the truck for ten minutes just to drive 1/3 of a mile. Winter epic failer.



Tuesday, 1-11-22: Another channel 1928 gem.
Channel 1928 for the win. An ABC song comes on that I like, one I don't know. No one knows who ABC is except for true 80s music affecianados (can't spell that?). I only know two of their songs, Who Wants to be a Millionaire and When Smokey Sings. This one I do not know! Sadly the formatting sucks on our TV so I don't know the name of the song. What a bunch of crap!

I rewound it and am turing it up since, for the first time in what seems like forever, there is no one in the house but me, myself, and I. "All my dreams came true last night. All my hopes and dreams..." Guy Googles this to see what happens. Be near me? This song is great! Be Near Me?

^AHAHAHAHAHHAA! Reminds me of the time I tried to download Cinderalla songs back in the LimeWire/Napster days of illegal song pirating Interweb song looking-up late 90s/early 2000s. When I looked for Cinderella songs by the excellent hair-rock group all I got was Disney crap until I searched more. Guy Google searches ABC and guy gets a bunch of stupid kiddo crap. HEY INTERWEB TAILOR MY SEARCH FOR ONLY AWESOME 1980s stuff! (I search for 2x4 pricing at Lowe's and find photos of Hacksaw Jim Duggan hehehe.)

Awesome, found it! Thank you, Google and YouTube. It is called Be Near Me. Cool song! If you disagree with me then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more. YouTube even has an extended mix that I shall play right now. Sometimes these 80s song remixes are even better than the original. I give as an example one of the best songs, ever. Someday by Glass Tiger. Short barely over 3-minute song kicked into a higher gear by the extended mix.

I got on a little music kick, a trip down lyrical memory lane, when I hooked up my brand new MP3 player that my awesome wife bought for me on Christmas. My old MP3 player is as old as the rest of my nearly ancient technology, and it doesn't work so well. If it takes even the slightest unexpected bump it resets. I don't use it when I do cardio so no worries, but sometimes I just touch the thing when a good song is playing and bye bye good song guy has to wait for a reboot. I plugged the new player into my old-ass computer Sunday before work so I could install a ton of 80s rock. I plan to bring it over to my gym, but I'm not in a hurry since FUCKING COVID made me weak and I can't even use my gym much. What a bunch of crap!

I am recovering nicely from the 'rona round 2, but it will take a while to be 100%. I might never be 100% again, but I'll take 80 or 90%. I'm getting old and pathetic, and I hate my life half the time so that makes it hard to physically be well. I was hoping for a better 2022, but so far it has sucked worse than ten pounds of shit stuffed into a 5-pound bag. 2021 can go right here:

If 2022 has to do the same I'm probably going to retire from Maine entirely. Maine sucks this time of year anyway, and today was a perfect example of that. High temp was around 3 degrees, windy, FUCKIN COLD. Oh, gas bills for heat are double what they were at this time last year. What a bunch of crap!

Our business is off to a terrible start to 2022 so Kat and I are making some changes. No more being open on Mondays, F that. When we first formed the idea of the restaurant and bar we wanted more limited hours, but our business partners who had all the restaurant experience talked us into being open 7 days a week. In hindsight that was really fucking stupid because Mondays SUCK. We have had a couple good Mondays, but most of them including the one yesterday have not been good. Our labor cost was over 100% of our sales yesterday. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! After product cost and utilities we lost a few hundred dolars by being open yesterday. Even if we break even on an average Monday after labor, utils, and expenses it's not worth it for the hassle.

Being closed Mondays has other advantages besides the financial aspect. It will give me a day to do some more serious carpentry and repairs that simply can't be done when we are open 7 days a week. I want to sand and stain the bar rail, but I can't do that at 2200 on a Sunday and expect it to be ready to go on the following Monday by noon. Hell we should probably close Tuesdays as well, but for now we'll just try closing Mondays and see how it goes.

I'm drinking my first booze of 2022. I won't drink much tonight because I'm a pussy. Kat is at work for Tuesday night Karaoke, but so far there are no singers. No one wants to go out when it's -3 degrees with a -30 wind chill. FUCK YOU WINTER. Plus half our regulars have FUCKIN COVID or are still recovering from it. No exaggeration there either. It's bad out there right now.

Alright turds, all two of you who read this bootleg site of mine, I need to call Mom and see how her and Dad are doing. My guess is not great because no one I know in my ENTIRE FUCKIN LIFE is doing great anymore. The world is sad, and we all march closer to the finish line. What a bunch of crap! I need a photo to cheer me up...

^A world before Covid, May 2019, my hot wife on the edge of the Caribbean Sea in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico. Our timeshare fee is due again by the 24th, and I gladly pay that because it's worth it and then some. "Dumbest" and best $6500 we ever spent back in 2014!

Edit: Another 80s song I don't really know but that seems to rock out. Pet Shop Boys You Were Always on my Mind. I have heard this before, but not in forever. Channel 1928 is the best!



Sunday, 1-09-22: Almost time to get back to work. Covid = dumpster fire.
I've been feeling off since Monday evening when I started having a sore throat. I was actually sick for a couple or three days midweek and late week last week, but now I just feel a bit run down with a cough and some congestion. I was going to do DDP Yoga this morning for the first time this year (what a bunch of crap epic fail!), but I decided to wait until *hopefully* tomorrow.

I officially have the 'rona, but the CDC rules concerning how long to quarantine and what to do when that quarantine ends are, in the hilarious words of writer Katherine J Wu, a dumpster fire. HAHAHAHAHA! This is the beginning of her recent article (all over the Internet now):

"On Tuesday, the CDC officially dropped the detailed, 1,800-word version of its new isolation guidance for people who have been infected by the coronavirus. So far, the best way I’ve got to sum it up is this: Hunker down for five days instead of the typical 10, then do what you want...

If you’re overwhelmed, you’re not the only one. In the week and a half since the CDC said that it was planning to update its isolation guidance, I’ve heard almost exclusively harsh reactions from experts, who have criticized the recommendations as convoluted, wishy-washy, and even unscientific. The guidance reads like a nightmarish choose-your-own-adventure book, they’ve told me..."

HAHAHAHAHAHA! So since I was not feeling well Monday evening my 5-day quarantine period would have ended last night, right? Maybe? I dunno, but I was not feeling like going back to work was the right thing to do. Even today I am not 100% sure it is the right thing to do, but I am feeling a lot better and I don't work until later today so that will be 6 days. I don't have to work, but I want to work. Dillon plans to cover the shift, but he needs time with his family. He worked what was supposed to be my shift last night, and he works again Monday.

The bar was open all day Thursday and only after 1700 on Friday and last night. The place did decent business, definitely enough to justify being open, but not anything like our usual Friday and Saturdays would do. This past week for the business was a fucking train wreck. Much like all of 2021 and this meme:


The way we as a society are handling covid is starting to change, and I think it's for the better. Even though the new CDC guidelines are confusing I get the point they are trying to make. Isolate less because we can't keep hiding from it like we have been. It's here to stay, and all we can do now is hope for a decent herd-immunity. People are going to die from it no matter what we do. Thankfully the latest and most potent variant of the thing, Omnicron, has (in general) been less deadly even though it is more contageous.

I'm actually looking forward to going back to work because I've been hanging out at the house since Wednesday afternoon, doing not too much except for watching TV shows and movies. I did shovel and snowblow some Friday after we got about 4" during the day, but that didn't take too long. The only good part of having to isolate is being able to spend more time with my wife. We actually do better when we spend more time together, unlike many other couples. I'm just not built to sit around this much so I have to get back to it before it really affects me in a negative way both physically and mentally. It already has affected me negatively in both ways, but no so bad that I can't bounce back from it.

We watched the following over the past few days:

Wednesday PM: finished season 4 of Cobra Kai on Netflix. I give that season and entire series a 9/10. It's fucking awesome! If you disagree with me then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.

Thursday: Loki on Disney-Plus. Ties into the Marvel movies, decent little side-story with good special effects and some unique concepts. Not an all-time great, but good. A solid 7.5/10.

Friday: Shadow and Bone season 1 on Netflix. Season 2 is not out yet. It was okay, some cool concepts and decent special effects. Reminded me of a lower-quality version of The Witcher with a few Game of Thrones elements mixed in as well. 5/10.

Saturday: Four movies. First, a hilarious terrible B-movie called Zombie Aquarium. Quality-wise it's a 1/10, but it knew it was a shit movie with almost no budget so for that alone I give it a 3/10. Funny because it was so bad.
Next, 8-Bit Christmas. Great movie about a kid in the 80s who wanted a Nintendo for Christmas. Better than A Christmas Story (I'm so sick of that movie.) 8.5/10 with extra points for how amazing the ending is. A beautiful ending. Probably was going to get a 6 or a 7/10 until the fantastic finish. Many movies epic fail at endings, but a rare few get it perfect.
Third was a futuristic flick with the guy who played Wolverine, I already forgot the name of it. I looked it up, called Reminiscence. Almost a film-noir, but not quite. Some unique concepts about memories and a neat-looking future world where the oceans have risen and cities are partially underwater. Typical class strife mixed in. A few cliche reveals and a kinda stupid ending drop it down to a 5/10 for me.
Finally we watched Shang Chi. Another Marvel comic movie, but with an Asian twist and a separate story from the big comic fare we usually expect. Top-notch visuals with beautiful special effects. Funny sidekick/friend to main character. Decent overall movie unique enough to stand on its own outside of the Marvel universe if it had to. Solid 7/10.

We watched some more stuff than that, but I can't remember what else. A bit of wrestling, some news, some Jeopardy, etc. We didn't just watch TV and movies, but that took up a lot of the time. I could have done some more work around the house, but my tools are at the bar and at Allen Rd, and I was NOT going to go pollute either of those places just to grab a few tools. I didn't go anywhere because I had the FUCKING RONA. What a bunch of crap!

I don't even have to take a covid test before I go back into the world today. HAHAHAHA. There aren't enough tests to go around anyway. Stupid fucking Covid. If anything will ruin our new bar/restaurant it will be Covid. Having to close for this gods damned thing three times within our first 10 months of being open = what a bunch of crap! It is incredibly crippling, and we had to dig into funds we had earmarked to pay Q4 sales tax due to the state just 6 days from now. Just when we thought things were going well we get yet one more setback. Oh well, the most important thing is no one who works for us or whom we love dearly has died from Covid yet. I feel sad for those who have lost loved ones to the virus.



Okay, so far it's been a tad over 5 days out of 365, and 2022 has been a fucking shit-show. We had to close the bar again Tuesday night and all of yesterday, I have been sick, and this morning I tested positive for Covid. I have the 'rona again. OMG WHAT A STEAMING BUNCH OF CRAP!

I started to not feel so great later Monday, but I was somewhat okay on Tuesday. Not 100% sick, just fighting it. I did take a covid-test Tuesday morning and that came up negative. Sadly lots of people whom we know have been getting Covid, some staff at the bar were getting worried about it all, so that is why we closed. Half our regulars seemingly have the 'rona now. I felt worse yesterday, but I still went down to the closed bar to help my awesome wife. She and Jay were there deep-cleaning (Jay is a good guy who works for us and who came to help for a couple hrs.) and I did some misc. maintenance including installing some of the clear flaps you see in warehouses, the kind that helps keep cold in (or out in our case) but that you can still pass through. Where's my Google? Guy posts a generic photo of the stuff.

In hindsight I shouldn't have gone down to the bar to work, but I didn't think I had fuckin' covid. I felt like crap yesterday afternoon, and this morning I also felt shitty so Kat and I agreed I needed to test again. Walgreen's in Bangor had a giant endcap display of Covid tests, limit 4 per customer, so we got some earlier this week. Covid tests are hard to get right now so we are lucky. We had a couple employees pick more test kits up so bye bye $173 total for all of that. More incredible financial damage to our new business, but a necessary cost. This round of covid is bad. The new variant is called Omnicron, and it hit hard. Cases nationwide and even locally are higher than ever. What a bunch of crap!

Having the 'rona again, the second time I've had it, sucks. A lot. However, the worst part is the fact I can't work and now have to isolate at home. I'm not built to sit around the house. Today actually sorta feels like a work day, though. Poor Kat has spent hours, literally hours, trying to staff the bar and find ways to keep us open. I've been involved in the process as much as possible, but her phone is blowing up with calls and texts. 25 staff to deal with. Two others tested positive today so that makes 4 of us total on the staff who have the 'rona. Epic fuckin' failer.

The New Year's eve party we had at the bar really seems to have been a super-spreader event. Lots of customers who were there last Friday night for New Year's eve have the virus now. I don't think it's our fault as a business that the virus is running more wild than Hulk Hogan in the '80s, though. Hunreds of people, literally hundreds, came and went at our bar and hopped around to other bars as well. It was a sea of people, no masks, no social distancing. I don't even care either because fuck it. After nearly two years it's obvious we can't win against it. Just too bad that the virus might beat our business and possibly at some point most of the world's ecomony. There is a serious chance this pandemic ends our bar. This latest outbreak is a HUGE setback. The business bank account was negative again this morning. What a bunch of crap!

Fortunately and oddly enough my awesome wife doesn't have the 'rona right now. All I wanna know is why? Why do I have it and not her? I'm incredibly grateful she doesn't have it. Very strange who gets it and who doesn't. We just decided to close the bar tomorrow and Saturday during the day, and not open until 5PM both days. We have 4-8" of snow coming all day tomorrow anyway so I don't even think we'd do any daytime business. If any more of us get sick and/or test covid-positive then we are pwned. Losing another weekend to the 'rona will really hurt the business, but even being open will suck since so many people are sick already. Can't make money when half the customers are in quarantine from FUCKING COVID.

Gods damn it.

I guess I have some time to do some more tax training now. My first client is Monday the 17th of this month. I feel ready-ish, but more training would be great. We an also watch some more TV shows and movies. Last night we finished season 4 of the fantastic Netflix series, Cobra Kai. If you don't like Cobra Kai then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.

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