(Last updated: 2-16-2017)
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Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.
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Thursday, 2-16-17: I need a good plow dude (or
We got two inches of snow last night so I didn't think he would bother to plow. Two inches is not much, not considering the shit-show we had Sunday night into Monday when we got two feet of snow in about 24 hours. The snow ended today around 0800 so I assumed if he was going to plow he would do it in the morning. Nope! Turns out he waited until midafternoon to go around and half-ass pushing around some snow. Of course half of the snow had already melted so it was basically just pushing aside some slush at the end of driveways. Kat said he was at our place for about 3 minutes and made it actually worse. What a bunch of crap!
All I wanna know is why? Why did he let 4-foot drifts form all over my properties before he plowed Monday evening yet today we got two friggin' useless inches of snow and he is deciding to plow some more? I still have a bitter taste in my mouth over the way he handled the blizzard on Monday. I know two gods damned feet of snow is borderline state of emergency, but he should have not let it get out of hand like he did. I see all my neighbors got their shit done yet at our house he never came along so Kat had to ask a neighbor to do it for us. What a bunch of crap!
Worst of all is the bill I got earlier in my email:
WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! HEY DUDE GIMME A BREAK WILL YA? FOUR FUCKING PLOWS FOR THE BLIZZARD ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? GODS DAMN YOUZ. All I wanna know is why? Why did he charge me that much when he did a shitty job and kept getting stuck everywhere and didn't even show up at some of my properties to the point that tenants found their own plow solution? Note the "Holyoak" invoice where it even says tenants took care of remainder. Well gee thanks for not charging my ass for that but thanks for pissing off the tenants. Also, nice job not spelling the street name right dude.
I am not okay with getting charged 4 plows from one storm when I had so many issues with his ass. Plus I know at my Bangor duplex he was not there any fuckin' four times. I had to call him to have him come take care of it on Tuesday afternoon as I shovelled off the porch roof when I got there at 1430 and saw it wasn't cleaned up yet. That mudda fucka! Totally not cool dude.
The fact that my fucking dumpster is buried over by my office makes me unhappy, too. He was supposed to send someone yesterday with a tractor to dig it all out for $200, but he never got it done or even called me with an excuse for his fail. What a bunch of crap! So I told him yesterday don't even bother I can dig it out myself. I already dug a path so the dumpster is useable, and this coming weekend we should see some melting so I can deal with getting it free next week. Thankfully the dumpster is almost empty now and does not get picked up until a week from today so I have time to figure it all out.
^WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! We need some serious melting to happen ASAP.
Oh well, at least the last "storm" underperformed and was mostly a miss. They said 6-12" for us, but southern areas got the brunt of it. They never can forecast those norlum trough storm too well. I'm glad it missed, but it sucks we got two measly inches and he still went around and plowed everything.
Plow guy: YOUUUUUUUUUUU'RRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! (Evil Vince McMahon voice)
Wednesday, 2-15-17: Blizzard of 2017 = totally
The blizzard finally let up just before dark Monday, but by then it was game over for us all. My plow guy was supposed to make the rounds around noon, but city road crews gave up so he could not get from Orrington to here until that evening. By then drifts were unbelievable because we got massive snows during the entire day Monday. Our own driveway was a total shit-show; we all went out to shovel for a while and made enough progress to barely free the truck, but not much more. The dogs loved it, though.
The storm was fascinating to watch when it was unfolding, but the aftermath makes me hate the planet. Yesterday was a very bad day for me thanks in large to the storm aftermath. Actually, Monday night sucked as well. Tenants wanted to know where the plow was, he said he was coming, but he kept getting stuck and didn't come. What a bunch of crap!
Yesterday morning I had to go shovel. A lot. I also had to make the rounds to the properties and inspect the snow-carnage. Roofs looked like this:
Oh, check out the dumpster over by my office and gym yesterday:
That dumpster-burial will cost me $200 extra. Yeah, $200! There was so much snow everywhere that the plow had no choice but to bury it. I guess? I am not impressed at all. Today he has to send a guy with a tractor to move the snow and unearth that dumpster. I cannot shovel it out myself because it is too much. If I even tried to do it I would have to spend about 8 hours and shovel so hard that my entire body would have a blowout. I wasted the hell out of my body yesterday just doing so much shovelling.
I am considering hauling on my plow guy after Monday and yesterday's debacle. The tenants at a couple of my properties took matters into their own hands and hired their own plow people after my guy failed. He was supposed to get our driveway here done, but he never came so Sweet Pea and the kids had to shovel here for hours while I was at work. Finally Sweet Pea found a nice neighbor to help out so thankfully our own driveway is done. My guy does a good job, but he is not reliable enough. He says he will be there and then says he got stuck so he doesn't come. I know this past storm overwhelmed him. We're getting more snow tonight so he better step it up or else he is all done. I give him a grade of D- for his handling of my plowing since Monday. What a bunch of crap!
The lost wages from giving up 6 hours at JH, the $200 I have to pay to free the dumpster, and all the plowing totaled up will end up being several hundred dollars. Plus many hours of my own time shovelling. This was a very costly storm for me in all three ways. Mentally, physically, and financially. What a bunch of crap! Fuck winter.
I thought I would enjoy some evening time yesterday watching an interesting movie called Arrival with Sweet Pea, but my nose was so plugged up I could barely breathe and the movie had a piece of shit ending. I heard it was a good flick, but if you think it is a good movie I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more if you liked it. It was interesting and fairly engaging throughout, but the ending was a toilet. If they make a sequal it mybe can be salvaged, but if not then fuck you people who made the movie.
As a final FU to me from the world yesterday my tenant at my bastard-stepchild Bangor duplex (FUCK THAT PROPERTY I HATE IT) called to say her carbon monoxide detector was going off so she called the fire department while I headed over. Thankfully there was no furnace gas leak; I guess the detector there was just defective to I gave her my brand new one that I had on hand. Things to always have on hand as a spare as a functional slumlord = Carbon Monoxide alarm, D-Con, sand/salt, wasp killer, and about 1000 other items.
In conclusion yesterday fucking sucked. A lot. Some Valentine's Day. Oh well at least Sweet Pea gave me a really nice card and we did get to spend a couple hours together. The end. Fin.
Monday, 2-13-17: Blizzard of 2017.
I usually get at least a little sick this time of year, and I am right on schedule. I noticed over the weekend, especially yesterday, that I have a stuffy nose and don't feel so great. I wouldn't say I am sick, but I'm walking the line. I did power down a Monster Energy and played racquetball yesterday so I'm not totally down for the count. Hopefully it doesn't get worse, but shovelling 18-24" of snow today won't help. the wind chill is near zero now. What a bunch of crap!
I need to get my camera and take a few photos of the dogs playing in the snow out back. Tiger Lily especially loves being out there in the snow. She rolls around in it, she sticks her face in it, and just getting her to come back inside is a major project. She's scratching at the door now so I I should put them out again. They always want to go out just after they eat their breakfast so this is the norm. Thankfully they can still walk through the snow now so I don't have to go shovel just yet. It's close, though...
I have 9 weeks left at the JH job before the tax filing deadline of April 18th. I prefer the deadline to be April 15th so the job can end sooner, but the last couple years there have been various weekends and holidays so the deadline gets extended. What a bunch of crap! So far is has been a good season and I have done more taxes than I did at this time last year. Hopefully that trend keeps up for the rest of the season so I can get a bigger final bonus check in May.
Other than shovelling snow I don't plan to do too much today. I might lift a few weights later when I go over to the office and surrounding apartments to shovel. We have the midseason Walking Dead premier on the DVR to watch as well as the end of WWE Elimination Chamber to watch this morning. Bruce was scheduled to do a couple smaller plumbing things for me this afternoon, but that obviously ain't happening given the weather conditions. This blizzard is supposed to end later this afternoon, but the winds will howl and drift everything over again and again. The BLIZZARD WARNING doesn't even expire until 0500 tomorrow due to the expected drifting. What a bunch of crap!
The gift I ordered for Sweet Pea for Valentine's Day was supposed to come today, but I don't expect anything to get delivered anywhere in this area. Maybe tomorrow... I should have ordered it back in January, but alas I blew it. Harpswell has 20" of snow now, the highest reported total so far. I have no clue where Harpswell is, but it must be down south somewhere. I know where most towns in Maine are in the general sense thanks to working at FedEx, UPS, and the USPS in years past. However, Harpswell = no clue. I have no plans to go back to work at any of those three shippers anytime ever, especially never UPS because that place was the worst!
Friday, 2-10-17: A very wintry weather pattern
and a possible eviction to do.
This morning I was shovelling snow when it was windy and 3 degrees outside. Fail. However, the worst has not even happened yet because check out this forecast:
More snow is coming tomorrow, 1-3", and on Sunday night and into Monday we are expecting a BLIZZARD. Major storm bombogenesis. Even worse than the last bombogenesis that gave us 7" and downeast 22". Seeing BLIZZARD on the 10-day is rare and never something to anticipate with glee. If we get more than 2" tomorrow then that will be 4 plowings in one week. Maybe 5 if BLIZZARD really gives us a stomping. What a bunch of crap!
Oh well, at least the good thing is I got off work early yesterday due to the storm. It started snowing around late AM, and by midafternoon it was terrible. Lots of places shut down, and rightfully so because conditions were quite poor. Sideways snow, 10 degrees, not fun times at all. The tax office was very slow, but I did have 3 customers over my 5-hour shift so it was not a total waste to have me come in.
Thankfully no major issues came up with the rentals from the snowstorm other than one Giblet tenant calling me around suppertime to ask if I could fix his screen door. The door was jamming a little on the bottom so it was hard to open, and I told him I wasn't gonna come fix it in the middle of a Nor-Easter. He was okay with that, and it took me all of 5 minutes to fix it this morning. Too bad it took me 45 minutes to do all the shovelling of not only our own driveway but also the rentals over by my office. What a bunch of crap!
I haven't complained about winter much these days so hey, I'm past-due. Right?
In other news I have a Giblet-Head tenant at the property I manage who might have to get the boot. When she moved in back in late October/early November she knew there was a like-new natural gas heater in the apartment rated for aroun 30,000 BTU and certainly adequate to heat the entire apartment. In addition to the gas monitor heater the place has an ancient old turd-tanker oil furnace that is probably woefully inefficient yet does still work. This Giblette left her old place owing the gas company money so she didn't want to use gas. I said no prob use the oil furnace. I even had the furnace cleaned for her. In hindsight I should have told her too bad the furnace is SOL, but hey the things still does work so whatever. Plus oil is cheap these days.
Fast-forward a couple months. She asked me if using 100 gallons of oil is normal in a 1.5-week span, and I said absolutely with an old furnace not running efficient like a new one would. Or a NEW GAS HEATER. She then told me she smelled soot in the air when the furnace ran so I had my heading expert look at it. Joe didn't have to look for long to tell me that the heat exchanger is cracked and the furnace cannot be repaired. The only solution is replacement.
The owners will not be buying a new oil furnace for that apartment, not considering how much the gas conversion cost them only 3 years ago. The oil furnace actually still does work, but it's not working great. The soot it spews out is not enough to be a huge health hazard at this time; it doesn't even set off the CO detector in the apartment. However, the tenant is not too happy about it and I knew at some point she would pitch a fit because she is a giant asshole of a human being.
Sure enough shit went down this month. It all started when I sent her a text message on the 6th asking her when we could meet to square up for Feb. rent. My rents are due no later than the 7th, and that is pretty damn fair considering other landlord policies. I didn't hear back from her to I tried to call her on the 7th, and I also sent her a txt message. No response. Fail.
So on the 8th I drew up my 7-day eviction notice and tried to track her down. She was avoiding my ass bigtime because when I knocked on her door there was no answer even though she definitely was home. Thankfully I saw her kid playing in the yard and asked him to go get her. He came back a minute later and said she was getting ready for work and didn't have time for me. No prob, I had him give her the notice and I took off. Less than a minute later my phone was ringning and she was pissed at me. "Steve, really. You're really giving me an eviction notice?!" With nothing but disdain in her voice. This tenant by the way has not been good about paying on time lately so I warned her to get her shit together once before.
I told her she needed to pay her rent on time or else hit the road. It is a simple decision, no black and white here. Pay, stay. Dnon't pay, don't stay. I told her I was sick of excuses and even worse was the fact that she couldn't be bothered to contact me in advance to let me know her rent was going to be late. Her excuse for that was terrible and paper-thin. She ran out of minnutes on her phone and didn't have a way to call me. I told her that was no excuse because she could have dropped off a note in my nearby drop-box or she could have used her work phone or borrowed a phone to call me. She is a bad liar, that's for sure. I've caught her in too many lies to count at this point. What a bunch of crap!
Her main reason for not having the rent is, at least according to her lying ass, her hours got cut at her job. I told her too bad she is out of excuses and she either pays rent by the due-date or it will be a court eviction that is public record and stays with her, making it hard to get another place to rent. She then said she was upset because the oil furnace isn't getting fixed, and I told her too bad you have a like-new gas furnace. She whined she didn't want to use gas, but her reasons are flimsy and again paper-thin. So I told her I know she owes the gas company money and she needs to figure it out. She can either move out or pay rent and stay for now, but there is no new-furnace option for her worthless ass.
She said fine, I'll be hearing from her lawyer. The end. Then yesterday she texted to say she would have rent paid in full by the 15th so we'll see. I already scheduled the FED (eviction) hearing in case she flakes out so at this point I'm not holding my breath in waiting for her to pay rent. If she pays great. If not I'll give her the boot. Thankfully it's the property I manage and not one of my own so at least it doesn't cost me an arm and a leg. I feel bad for the owners, but these things happen and I will try to avoid the eviction if at all possible. If I can get her to pay rent and stick around through the winter that would be great. I don't want to see the owners get screwed over because they are good to me and I try to be good to them as well. We'll see...
Work is slow. I did three returns to start, boom, boom, boom, and now I'm just hanging out. Bill is working with me today; we're both here until 2000. However, I do not want to be here until 2000 so if it's not busy later I'm out of here around 1800 or 1900. Hopefully no later than 1900 so I can eat, watch Jeopardy, and then help Sweet Pea set up at Jester's. It will be a snow-covered tundra tonight with a low of -7 so that sucks. A lot. Winter = what a bunch of crap!
Tuesday, 2-07-17: A Superbowl game for the ages.
The Patriots made the Superbowl again in the mid 90s. 1997 maybe? I think it was '97 because as I recall I was in the Navy and watched the game at Chase Holden's house with his wife and a couple other friends. The Green Bay Packers won that game, and it wasn't until Tom "God" brady took over as QB that the Patriots made it to the big game again several years later. Brady has since taken the team to an amazing 7 Superbowl games, and after last night records fell. Hell, records were shattered!
The Patriots had another amazing football 2016-2017 season. Unfortunately, Tom Brady was suspended for the first 4 games of the 2016 season due to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell being a scumbag, puke piece of crap. The "deflategate" scandal accused Brady of knowingly allowing footballs to be deflated to below league PSI standards to gain a competetive advantage two years ago. However, there was never any concrete evidence linking Brady to the issue, and the only damning thing Brady did was destroy his phone before it could be confiscated and then all his personal info would be plastered all over TMZ or some other paparazzi bullshit site.
Brady was suspended, he took it to court and won, but then the NFL took it back to court and won again. What a bunch of crap! meanwhile other thug players can beat their chicks in an elevator and only get a couple game suspension. Epic fail. Goodell is a dirtball.
The Patriots went 3-1 withouth Brady because backup QB Garrappalo played well. Brady came back and the Patriots mostly won, going 14-2 on the season overall and taking the top seed in the AFC. They beat Houston and Pittsburgh to advance to the Superbowl, but in the Superbowl the Falcons took an early lead and things looked bleak for the Patriots. It was 21-3 Falcons at halftime, and late in the 3rd quarter it was 28-3 Falcons before God Brady and the Patriots began a record-setting comeback for the ages. Things started going right for the Patriots in a big way, and they managed to tie the game at the end of the 4th quarter thanks to Brady making some great throws and is receivers making some great catches. The catch of the night was Edleman making this seemingly impossible grab:
The game was tied 28-28 so we had to have an overtime period, the Patriots got the ball first, and they marched down the field to score the game-winning touchdown. Oh jesus, hell ya! Here are the game odds as provided by ESPN during the course of the Superbowl:
I did not expect the Patriots to win. It was epic and unforgettable. Even better was seeing all the sports hosts talk about how great Brady is and how amazing the Patriots have been over the past 1.5 decades. Brady won his 5th Superbowl, most of all-time. He's 39 years old and does not have time on his side, but he does take very good care of himself so hopefully he can play at a high level for a couple more years.
In other news I just finished two days off from the JH job. I did have a few rental-property things to take care of, but I had plenty of time to unwind for a bit. I got plenty of exercise, and I feel ready to go back to work and rip out some serious tax returns. I shattered my all-time record for taxes done last week. Great for the year-end bonus, but not great when I was starting to feel burned out. I filed 44 taxes, a lot for one week considering I meet with more people than that every week and I have to field phone calls, answer questions, and solve other problems. My previous record for amount done in one work week was 32 from last year. I know I won't do 44 returns this week because our absolute peak was last week, but if I can do in the mid 20s I'll be happy. My goal is 222 for the season and I am already almost halfway there with 10 weeks left. Things slow down in March before they pick back up again near the deadline in April.
Friday, 2-03-17: Epic taxes done.
I would have done a dozen each of the last two days, but thankfully I've had some much-needed help at the second desk. Doing 8 or 9 in a day is great and more sustainable considering the other things like fielding questions, answering the phone, etc etc. We open at 1000, and I got there yesterday at 0935 to be greeted by two people already waiting at the door. OMG. One person was there since 0815. I've done her taxes the past couple years and I think she's a few nuts short of a fruit basket, but she is at least a working and functional member of society. Of course she and her new husband drove from 45 minutes away and DID NOT BOTHER TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT. OMG. I can see not making an appointment if you live close, but when you have a long drive I would call you a giant nincompoop if you just show up and expect to get in. I actually didn't even start that lady's taxes until 1400 because the people with appointments get first dibs. Oh well, she left happy because she expected to pay in and I got her a refund. Oh Jesus, hell ya!
My goal is 222 returns done this season. Last year I did 235, and I am around 89 now with more than likely several more to do today. The appointment calendar is full for the day and I know we will get many walk-ins because we always do. I'm scheduled to start at 1000, but I plan to go in 45 minutes early so I can take care of some things before I dive right in. I have an IRS reject to convert to paper and a couple clients to call back about some other things. Yesterday I had no time at all to deal with some of the side-stuff, and I know we lost some business because we were so busy. I do like being busy because it adds to my year-end bonus, but being too busy for too long burns my ass right out. I don't even feel that great this morning so hopefully I'm not getting sick. I usually catch some kind of a cold this time of year. What a bunch of crap!
I don't even have my work schedule for next week yet. Next week will be busy, and the week after that should start to recede some. I actually think this current week will be my busiest of the year at JH. Thankfully and knock on wood the apartment stuff has been minimal. A few rents to collect, a few bills to pay, but no serious problems to solve. I hope it stays that way for the next couple weeks until the tax job slows down a bit.
Normally I go to the gym at this hour, but I'm not feeling it today. Maybe tonight after I help Kat set up at Jesters if I feel a little better. Half a can of Monster might give me a kick. I did meet my exercise goal last month so Oh Jesus hell ya to that! This month I hope to make my goal, but I have a high chance of fail because February is a tough month. I fuckin' hate February. However, I hate January more so there ya go. March sucks as well, but at least by then the days are longer and the temperatures are increasing. April 18 can't come fast enough, that's for sure.
I suppose I should go do other things now. It's already 0800 so soon I should shower and slowly start getting ready for work. I wonder if the dogs are pissed because I'm still here? Normally I load them up between 0715-0730 and bring them to the gym with me. They love going with me, and Tiger Lily will stick her head out of the truck window no matter the temperature. Right now she's playing with a ball, but Copper took notice and I'm sure he will mooch it from her. Oh, he tried to take it but got pwned so now he is upside-down as she beats him up a little. Our dogs are awesome!
Okay, I'm back and it's not quite Jester's O'clock yet. I was feeling a bit run down this morning, but I powered through the day and feel much better tonight. I drank a little Monster Energy with my supper and did a light workout in my bootleg gym after helping Kat set up at Jester's, and now here I am sipping a little fatass in a glass. I just talked to Mom, and she was telling me how they plan to remodel their kitchen. Her and Dad have talked about doing that for years, but now they are serious enough to be getting quotes and making a few plans. Their kitchen isn't that big, but they are looking at around $20k for the remodel. OMG WTF?! HEY MOM AND DAD ARE YOU GETTING GOLD-PLATED CABINETS OR WHAT?! I'd throw some basic oak cabinets into that muther and throw on some stain and polyurethane, but that's just me. Hell, this kitchen just cost me about $2000 last year:
Mom and Dad's kitchen is bigger than the one in the photo so it's not apples to apples, but still... $20k for a fucking kitchen?! What a bunch of crap! They do want new appliances as well, but a stove and a fridge shouldn't cost that damn much. I guess I am just too used to being stingy for rental properties? I dunno, but my kitchens come out looking decent enough. I'd redo their kitchen for them, but I have way too much going on up here plus I don't want to screw it up and be responsible for any epic fails. At least with the apartments if I fail I only have myself to blame.
After I got a light workout done in my gym I grabbed the office mail, and the last of the gas bills came in. January was several degrees above average in temperature so I saved epic money on the heat bills. My bill from the gas company for this past January as compared to January 2016 were a cumulative $531.31 lower. OH JESUS HELL YA! More money to go to the Home Depot and Lowe's cards. February is starting off colder, but none of the long-range forecasts hint at anything even remotely comparable to what we had two years ago. So far this winter hasn't been horrible at all, and I am okay with that.
Business at JH is crazy. I have shattered my personal records for any week, ever, and there is still tomorrow to get through. I have Sunday and Monday off so I can't wait to get out of work tomorrow. I could really use a break from doing taxes for a couple days. Plus, as an added bonus, the Superbowl is Sunday so watching the Patriots vs the Falcons will be a blast. Hopefully the Pats win, but if they lose I hope at least they make it close and exciting.
Alright turds, all two of youz, I suppose it's time to head over to Jester's to rip out some tunes and have one more beer before we shut it down late-night. Goonies never say die!