(Last updated: 2-15-2019)


Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.

If you want to know who the hell I am and why I spent my hard-earned $14.99 to register this domain and to share my thoughts with the world then you can click here to find out. I have no update schedule so if you don't like it then you can ggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttt oooooooouuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt!

"Holly had her ultrasound and it all looked good but there was one problem. The baby looks like Sloth from The Goonies." -Jason referring to his soon-to-be second child.

Click here to check out my bootleg quotes page.


ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Why are you still here? Chances are pretty damn good that I WILL insult you in some fashion if you choose to continue beyond this point. The purpose of this site is to entertain me, and I am often entertained at the expense of others. Therefore, prepare to be slandered. A lot. It's still not to late to leave with your feelings intact!

Friday, 2-15-19: I got a pendant, and I have a functional tax office.
I just finished playing The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past on the SNES for about a half hour. I'm half drunk, but I beat the snake-thingies in the desert wasteland level in the bottom left area of the map. I DOMINATED. That last statement was a lie; I died a few times when I got regulated on, but then I won and got a pendant. Oh Jesus hell ya!

^I win, pixelated snakes lose. That is a generic Google image because I do not have 999 Rupees. I wish I did have that much fake video game money, though. Thankfully the CONTINUE feature in this game is generous because I died 4 times in like 5 minutes. Seriously. What a bunch of crap! 5 hearts worth of life ain't much when the bad guys hit hard and often.

I had not played SNES or any video games in many days because I have been busy doing other things like building an empire and shovelling snow. We got 10" or so of snow midweek, and that is a bunch of crap but not unexpected for this time of year. Unfortunately with no working snowblower for our driveway I spent a ridiculous amount of time shovelling not only our own driveway but also the rental properties. I did have our plow people push snow here at our house, but by the time they arrive we had half the shovelling done. Gods damn it.

Over at North Main I didn't work too much this week on carpentry, but I guess I really did work more than I thought there because now the waiting area and the DJ areas are mostly complete. My amazing wife helped a lot this week, and I greatly appreciate that. I stained the rough-hewn beam in her area midweek, and that was a bunch of crap because I got stain all over the place. Thankfully I stained before I did her floor. I really love how her area looks right now:

^Everything looks GREAT, including that fucking piano that can eat the peanuts out of my sheeeeiiiitttttttt. She really loves that piano, but I was too much of a nincompoop to know that so I treated that piano like a bastard stepchild of sorts. I didn't give a crispy crap about that piano because it was in my way half the time and it took all kinds of precious... precious time and money to get that gods damned thing from the upstairs to the downstairs. I beat it up, not on purpose as a malicious act, but as a result of the remodel of the entire property. My electricians helped with winches and come-alongs just to move that heavy-ass piano onto the first floor. I thought it would be ridiculous located where it is now, but I was wrong and it looks great. Chalk that up as a win for my sweet pea on that vision. Also, she was the one who managed to clean up the piano and make it look almost new again.

We might move that meeting table once her desk is all set up. You can see her desk in that cardboard box behind the table on the floor. It arrived today, but there was no time to put it together because I had other things to do like taxes and finishing the baseboard in her area. I truly am happy with how things look at that place right now. So far it meets my expectations, and it probably actually exceeds them. The place is inviting and comfy, and it's not even done yet. Oh Jesus hell ya!

The waiting area looks like this now:

^No doubt we will rearrange, but as-is it's not too bad. The bathroom still needs more sanding and mud, but next week I can finish that. Then all that will remain is the smaller "other office" area that is not time-sensitive to complete. This morning we got decals up on the windows so now we are *almost* ready to do some real business. I did a tax return there yesterday and one there today, both for people we know, and so far everthing is going great. I think by this time next week I'll be ready for the general public. Maybe? Hopefully!



Sunday, 2-10-19: My first "customer" in my new tax office, Bruce Hornsby and the Range.
Yesterday I spent a couple hours in my new tax office setting up the printer and phone. No issues there, and I thank the gods who do not exist for that. I plugged the phone in, and it just worked. Oh Jesus Hell ya! I have not hooked up a landline phone in probably 12 years, maybe more. Actually I guess I did at Jackson Hewitt. Maybe? I can't remember. We had a landline phone in that bootleg little Walmart office, but maybe someone else actually plugged it into the modem-thingie.

I have not set up the answering machine yet for my new office phone, and I'm hoping there is a way I can forward the thing to my own cellphone from time to time so I can check messages from home in the evening, on weekends, or whenever else I am not there. Yesterday as I was plugging in the phone Gavin stopped in with his tax stuff, and we hung out over there for over an hour taking about his taxes and mostly about all the work he has to do at his own house and all the work that still remains at North Main for my awesome wife and I. Gav will be my first official customer; even though I did Katherine's taxes last week and printed her copies yesterday I don't count her as a real customer since I did those for free as a test to ensure all my systems are working. I would have done hers for free anyway since she's family and since they were very easy to do.

Since G is a great friend, a friend of probably 30+ years, I obviously won't charge him the going rate of $149. I think I'll start at $49 for a simple return, just one or two w2s state and federal, but since he has rentals that would make it more costly. Lot more involved, obviously. He's going to try to pay me full price, but I'll hopefully talk him down. I still feel like I owe him since I talked him into buying a building that will need hundreds of thousand of dollars of work before it is badass. He already has tens of thousands into his foundation alone, but then our foundation contractor died in a car crash. What a bunch of crap!

^Bye bye back part of house, 2014. Wow he has owned that place for damn near 5 years and it is still under construction, bigtime. I'll probably help him with a lot of it later this year, and for a very fair price since I feel badly that he got stuck with all that. Five years ago I was the one with the contract to buy that place, but then it didn't work out financially for me so I talked Gavin into buying it. Reminds me of the Tom Hanks 1980s movie, The Money Pit.

For now I will continue to take care of friends and family for their taxes, and hopefully in a week or two I will be ready for the general public. Probably closer to two weeks (twoooooooooooo weeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkksssssssssssssss!) or maybe even not until March. This coming week I will finish the waiting area and Kat's DJ/entry area. At least I hope I will. Her area is almost ready for flooring install already! The bathroom still needs a few hours more of sheetrock sanding and mud before I can paint that and get it all done.

I'm listening to Bruce Hornsby and the Range, Scenes From the South Side, and the dogs are having an epic rumble all over our nice clean floor. I se just about see the fur flying since they shed a shitload. Clean the floor, an hour later is has clumps of dog hair and fur on it again. What a bunch of crap! Oh Groot just played in the water dish so I gotta clean that up, too. Epic failer.

Scenes From the South Side is a great album, 1988 if I recall correctly. The Valley Road and Look Out Any Window are the two best songs from that collection. I remember when I was in the Navy I got the album on cassette, used, probably from some awesome music store that might have been called Rasputin's. That would have been in the San Leandro area not far from San Fransisco and Alameda where I was stationed. Uncle Kev and I used to eat at a buffet and shop at that music store near there, and it feels like it was a lifetime ago because it was 1994-1996. Damn near 25 years ago!

^Great album. Mellow and not one I'd listen to that often anymore, but better than most of today's crap music.

I probably still have Scenes From the South Side on cassette, but I can't say for sure. I did find an old box of my cassette tapes while cleaning in the cellar at my old apartment (where my bootleg gym and office is now), but I haven't gone through them. I'm sure after all these years they either barely work or don't work at all. They are obsolete now with CDs and especially with MP3s. When Kat and I were shopping a couple weeks ago we found a bunch of great used CDs for $2 each, and of course when I saw Scenes From the South Side I had to have it. It's not as good as their debut 1986 album, The Way it is, but it is still very good. Bruce Hornsby is awesome and if you disagree with me then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.

Alright turds, all two of youz, I gotta get off this bootleg piece of shit site because we have a meeting in Old Town shortly, wedding clients. It would have been nice to meet them at Kat's new studio/office area over at North Main, but the space is not ready yet because I am a month behind schedule. What a bunch of crap! I gotta finish that space ASAP.



Friday, 2-08-19: Grease, tax office, back to the bar.
I just came home from the bar, and in another lifetime a long time ago this would have been officially TAPS TAPS LIGHTS OUT ALL HANDS MAINTAIN SILENCE ABOUT THE DECKS. 2200, 10PM for you nasty civilians. Oh wait, I'm a nasty civvy, too. What a bunch of crap! I don't miss being in the military because F that Lenart used to bivouac in the rack above mine, and when he would rip ass the entire berthing compartment used to smell like we were under gas attack.

Tonight is the second theme night at Jester's, movies and musicals. I wanted to dress up as RAMBO, but when it is the middle of winter and you have to dress like this then no thanks:

^That RAMBO poster is awesome and if you disagree then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more. I still have that poster in my bootleg gym all these years later. How cool is that?!

Party City does not have a RAMBO wig, those mudda fuckas. They should sell one gods damn it. I can't go into the bar with no shirt and a bazooka. Pretty sure I would go to jail if I tried to do that, but maybe not because everyone there knows me and might think it is funny...

Since dressing up as RAMBO was not going to work out I ended up being some dude named Zuko from some toilet-bowl of a movie called Grease. I have never seen Grease, but I have a feeling that it sucks. A lot. My ex from 2010, Kristen, loved that movie and she was more screwed up than a soup sandwich so I am all set. She had her cellphone ring to some song from that movie, or so I recall. I dunno for sure because I never watched the movie and I hope I never watch it. FU musical movies, plays, and operas. Actually, FU art in general unless you are my late awesome Papa, Ansel Adams, or Bob Ross.

My wife looks amazing as Sandy from that movie. I guess I am John Travolta? Hell if I know.

^Maybe that is not Sandy in the image above? I think it is, but I dunno for sure and I don't even care... whether or not I care. Grease can eat the peanuts out of my sssssssssssshhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttt! My wife looks 1000000 times better than the chick in that photo, and that is a verified FACT. Disagree with me and you die.

I got my tax office set up! I think my computer is even connected to the Interweb over there, but I can't be certain because I accidentally hit the OFF switch on the power-surge strip and shut it all down. Then instead of turning it all back on I just left because I wanted to use my bootleg gym and play racquetball. I also need to connect the new printer to the computer, but I think maybe it is wifi because I didn't see a USB-in port plug-thingie. The new printer looks badass, but until I actually use it who knows for sure? It has eco-tank technology and can supposedly print a shitload before it runs out of ink. Maybe? Hopefully.

^Still not 100% done, but damn near-so. Funny when you look from my tax office out into the other areas this is what you see:

^What a bootleg bunch of crap! No matter how fancy my tax office looks the point is moot when the rest of the areas look like shit still. Oh well, it won't take long to get the waiting area and my awesome wife's DJ area done. Another 2-3 work days and I'll be about there. The bathroom (far room in the photo above) won't be done for a week or so, but F it I'll tell the first few people not to come if they have to take a power-dump because the shitter is still under construction. Hehehe.



Thursday, 2-07-19: Awesome Superbowl win, taxes, GOT.
I did my first tax return of the season Sunday, and later that day we watched the Patriots beat the LA Rams in the Superbowl. The Greatriots were not predicted to even get to the Superbowl a few weeks ago, but they kicked it into another gear and got shit done in the playoffs. The Pats were favored to beat the Rams by 3 or 4 points, and the final score ended up being 13-3 good guys. However, most of the game was a close and defensive contest. The Greatriots defense really won them the game by dominating from start to finish. That is now 6 Superbowl titles for QB Tom Brady and coach Bill Bellicheck. Amazing. 9 trips to the Superbowl for the Patriots since 2002 = OMG awesome!

I finished setting up tax software and antivirus/security programs on my brand new tax office computer Sunday morning here at the house, and I did Katherine's taxes as a test of sorts. She only has a w2, piece of cake. Nevertheless there is a learning curve with the new program that I will be using, a professional-grade system that is much more powerful than the TaxAct I had used in years past. As far as I can tell I am all set up and good-to-go with this software, but it is too early to know how I will like the program overall. The true test will be once I am set up in my new tax office and running the business for real.

^Accepted! I wasn't even sure if I got her taxes filed all the way because I am so new to the program. What a bunch of crap! Thankfully at least the IRS has her stuff and it is in process.

My tax office is coming along bit by bit. When I go over to North Main to work each day I have so much to do that I can't just focus only on my tax office. The bathroom still needs a bit more mudding and sanding, and I still need to install more trim and casing in a few spots. I did get the other office area door installed so we can close that space off and I can finish it later. I had a huge fuckup with that door, but thankfully I found an easy solution. The rough opening width needed to be 34.5", but I accidentally made it 33". OMG What a bunch of crap! Thankfully I was able to remove a 2x4 to get my width, but unfortunately now one side of the door is not double 2x4 like it should be. No proper header either, but oh well it's just an interior door and that entire wall is not load-bearing in any way at all.

Yesterday I painted my tax office door, the old wooden front door for the place. Now my tax office trim, door, and walls are all painted so I should be able to start the floor in there today. If things go really well then I should be able to get the office 100% done and maybe even bring in the desk and put that together. If I can't do the desk today then I definitely need to do it tomorrow so I can bring over my computer, printer, tax books, etc. Then I can do taxes over there! I won't be ready to open to the public for a week or two, but I can take care of some friends and family at least.

On Saturday PM Kat and I decided to start watching a show on HBO called Game of Thrones. Neither one of us had seen the show before, but Katherine loves it and we've heard a lot about it over the years. Every episode of all 7 seasons is available. I had no idea what to expect, but I thought it was about dragons, kings, and sex. Turns out my expectations were spot-on. After the first episode I wasn't 100% sold on the series, but I didn't hate it either so we kept watching. Now, days later, we are almost at the end of season 2 and I think overall it is pretty good. I easily get confused because a lot happens, and the gratuitous sex scenes are overboard at times, but despite those flaws I do enjoy watching the show.

^SPOILER: That chick calls herself the Mother of Dragons, she walked into a fire and hatched three baby dragons, and when those dragons grow up I assume they are going to lay waste to Throne-land and hopefully it will be epic. Pretty much every adult chick on the show shells em out at some point, which is unnecessary for the most part. It doesn't bother me, but now that I am married I don't need to see tits and ass all over the TV. I watch movies and TV for the stories, not for the sexual stuff.

I don't think GOT is as good as Westworld on HBO or Stranger Things on Netflix, but it is better than most of the stuff other channels pump out. We'll definitely watch all of the remaining episodes and seasons, but at an hour per episode and 10 episodes per season it will take a while to chew through it all. Oh well middle of winter can't enjoy the outdoors might as well watch TV! Speaking of middle of winter, it was 53 degrees two days ago. Oh Jesus hell ya! Overall it will end up being a mild week, but next week looks colder. The cost of natural gas has dropped a bit so that along with normal/slightly above normal winter temps so far in 2019 will save us a few bucks on heating costs.



Saturday, 2-02-19: A list of thing I need to do before I can open my tax office.
I still have a lot to do before I can open my new tax office, but hopefully it can all be done within the next week. I'm not planning to work much today, but if I can get over there and spend an hour or two installing trim and finishing paint in my tax office that will put me ahead a little for next week. My tax office looks like this right now:

Walls need one more coat of that tan color, windows need trim, I need a door, and I should have electricians there Monday or Tuesday to install outlets. I could do the outlets myself, but F that I am slow and they are fast. Plus they have to come to finish the panel and some cellar lights anyway. My office door will be a pain in the arse to install because I decided to reuse the old front door for the property so it needs to be sanded and painted. Plus the actual install will be a bitch since the door casing came off in pieces, some of which are in hard shape. I bet my office door will take a few hours to install and to paint.

If I can get my office floor and baseboards done Tuesday or Wednesday this coming week then I can set up my desk, computer, printer/scanner, etc. Just getting the office furnished and operational will easily take a full day. If all goes well then maybe I can do a tax return in there by next Friday. I won't be ready for the general public at that point, but friends and acquaintences *hopefully* won't mind if the other areas are still under construction. If they do mind then they can pay double and ggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttt oooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!

Last night Jester's was epic. The place was super-crowded, and my amazing wife rocked the place like I have never seen before. The owner FINALLY agreed to have karaoke in the bigger restaurant space, or as Kevin "too tall" joked it is now Jester's annex. The door connecting the bar and the restaurant remained open so it was all interconnected and easy to go back and forth. At one point the log-jam was actually at the bar with people trying to get drinks. It took me 20 minutes to get a PBR, but I really wasn't in a huge hurry because I kept talking to everyone and letting people go ahead of me. Overall it was a fun night and a definite success. The bar revenues justified the extra expense of using the bigger space, at least that is how it seemed to me. (I don't work there and have no access to actual numbers, nor do I want that info.)

Alright slapnuts, all two of youz, I gotta go help Gavin remove his old ugly-tan cast iron tub from his upstairs apartment. Thankfully we can just throw if off the deck. Watching that heavy metal tub land on the frozen ground should be fun. It will shatter and make a mess for sure.*

*The tub wasn't too heavy, but when we threw it off his deck it bounced off the frozen, snowy ground and landed on his ladder. Pretty sure that ladder is in hard shape now and quite damaged. What a bunch of crap!



Friday, 2-01-19: January exercise failer and photos of our renovation property.
I didn't use my gym enough last month. What a bunch of crap! I didn't do enough DDP Yoga and I didn't do enough cardio either. I keep track of it all since I have a myriad of problems, and it looks like last month was my worst January for exercise in at least a decade. However, I don't really believe it was my worst January. In fact it might have been so bad at all considering all the sheetrock work I did last month. Sanding drywall on a large scale is work, damnit. Getting sick for 6 days really sucked for my exercise routine, too.

I had planned to start this month off with a lot of exercise today, but I decided against playing Rball this afternoon with Deno and G because I wanted to spend some time with my awesome wife instead. I did do yoga this morning, and I had a good lift in my cold-ass gym. My gym is about 55 degrees right now, and that is a few degrees colder than what I like. The bars feel kinda cold and it is harder to get loose in the beginning when it is chilly in my bootleg gym. Oh well once I get going for a bit then that 55 usually feels pretty damn good. It will get back up to 60 in that gym next week once this cold-snap passes. 0 degrees with a stiff wind really drops the temp everywhere, including my gym. My office is even worse at 38 degrees. What a bunch of crap that is! Oh well I never use my bootleg rental office anymore anyway. Just enough to stash cash in the safe until it goes to the bank and to pay a few bills a couple times a month. Years ago that office was my base-camp with a fridge, microwave, TV and cable, and high-speed Interweb. I don't miss those days because my life is better now than it was back then.

I just got back from painting the first coat of wall paint in the waiting area at our newest property, and I took some pictures before I spread out of there to come home and to put the dogs out. I finally finished the mudding and sanding over there in that space this morning, and it was an awesome feeling. I still have to mud and sand a bunch in the 8x8 bathroom, but compared to the larger spaces that I have been working in that bathroom should be easy. Plus I have already done a bunch in the bathroom so that is easily half-done.

^The vanity for the bathroom has been a table of sorts for the router and for other things for about two months. That light is just temporary, and it doesn't even work anymore. What a bunch of crap! I'll have that waiting area done by this time next week. Maybe? Hopefully! I am very excited to get furniture over there, and hopefully in about a week we can make that happen. I wanted to have it done by today, the 1st, but F that it was not possible. Too much work.

My awesome wife came with me and worked for a bit for each of the past three days, and together we got a lot done. Her walls are all painted, and all that remains in her area is some edges and trim. I also have to sand and stain the wooden beam:

^Also once I box in that metal post it will look a lot nicer. We have blinds for the windows including the interior windows that Mom said were dumb. HEY MOM YOURE DUMB! J/K she is not really dumb, but when she shit on our idea of three interior windows then I thought she was being ignorant. Yesterday PM I did a lot of trim, but as you can see I still have some left to do. Also that piano can eat the peanuts out of my sssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttt. I would have paid more for the property had it NOT come with a friggin' piano that weighs a half a ton. That piano is seriously heavy, and it gets in my way a lot. What a bunch of crap! Oh how nice in that photo you can see where the side of the piano is all gouged up from its horrible trip from the upstairs to the downstairs months ago. That was one giant epic failer.

We may or may not work on the building some this weekend. All depends on how we feel I guess. Tonight Jester's is rockin out, and my awesome wife FINALLY convinced the owner to do karaoke in the bigger restaurant space adjacent to and connecting to the bar. For each of the past three weeks that bar has been so full that people have left so using a larger space makes sense from the viewpoint of someone who might actually want to make a profit. I'm heading down there shortly, and it's nice knowing that there will actually be room for me because we are in the larger space. Hopefully the revenue coming in justifies the extra staff needed to accommodate the larger space.


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