(Last updated: 3-20-2017)

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR ME AS A PERSON THEN I ADVISE YOU TO TURN AWAY NOW. CLICK THE 'X' IN THE TOP CORNER OF YOUR SCREEN! RUN, FLEE, ESCAPE. IF YOU ARE A FAMILY MEMBER THEN YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ENTER BEYOND THIS POINT!

Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.

If you want to know who the hell I am and why I spent my hard-earned $8.42 to register this domain and to share my thoughts with the world then you can click here to find out. I have no update schedule so if you don't like it then you can ggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttt oooooooouuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt!



"Game over man, GAME OVER!" –Bill Paxton in Aliens (RIP)

Click here to check out my bootleg quotes page.

BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE CRAP FORUMS THAT ALMOST NO ONE EVER USES!

CLICK HERE TO VISIT MY BADASS CHAT FORUMS.

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Why are you still here? Chances are pretty damn good that I WILL insult you in some fashion if you choose to continue beyond this point. The purpose of this site is to entertain me, and I am often entertained at the expense of others. Therefore, prepare to be slandered. A lot. It's still not to late to leave with your feelings intact!

Monday, 3-20-17: Five hours 'til court.
I have to do a court eviction today. What a bunch of crap! I've written at length about this piece of crap tenant in the property that I manage, but there is even more to the story. This chick is a huge pile of civilian shit, and I just texted her this message a few minutes ago "I love how you complain to me daily and not pay ANY rent. Everything you need costs money. I am going to have my heating contractor look at it."

That text message is in reply to her request to have the heating in the apartment adjusted. She was using an old turd-tanker furnace for most of the winter, but the furnace developed a cracked heat-exchanger and is no longer usable without emitting some funes into the apartment. She knew this back in January, but she kept using that furnace until she got behind on her March rent. Once I gave her a 7-day pay or quit (eviction) notice she was suddenly and conveniently not okay with using that furnace anymore. She called code enforcement, and it was a mess. Thankfully there is a 35,000BTU natural gas monitor heater in the apartment so the owners are not required to repair/replace the furnace.

After leaving the apartment for 4 days last weekend this chick and her two kids returned to start living there again. She owed the gas company money from her previous residence, but somehow she convinced them to set her up with an account again so I coordinated a gas turn-on for her. She is so stupid and selfish that she texted me in the middle of last week's big blizzard to tell me she was at the gas company paying them and she wanted it turned on ASAP. I told her my heating guy wasn't coming in a blizzard, but I did get it done the very next morning for her. The fact she wanted it done in a big snowstorm with no advance planning shows how bad she really is.

Now that the gas is on she is not happy. She says the living room gets too hot and the upstairs bedrooms get too cold. What a bunch of crap! She texted me to complain about it last Friday so I asked her if I could email her about trying to reach a compromise. This is the email I sent to her on Friday:

The owners and I are hoping to find a middle ground of sorts with you regarding your apartment. I know you are unhappy about certain aspects of the place, and we are unhappy that rent is not being paid. I have done my best to solve the recent problems you have encountered with the apartment, but the furnace dying is not something with an easy or inexpensive solution. I know you also expressed your disdain for the natural gas heater and how it distributes heat within the apartment.

What I hope to find out is how willing you are to keep things out of court. I do have the FED hearing scheduled for Monday March 20th at 1PM, but I can cancel that if we are able to come to an agreement. We are hoping to hear from you regarding what you think is fair. How much rent do you feel you should pay for March and for April? I know April is not here yet, but I also know asking for full rent might not be fair considering your issues with the place overall. If we can make a plan to get us through the end of April that would be a win for us all.

I am sorry things have not worked out as expected. Now I only ask you to tell us what YOU think is fair. What would you like to see the owners and I do to get us to the finish line in good standing for you and your apartment? What do you think is a fair rent for you to pay for this month and for April? Feel free to call or text if that is easier for you than emailing. I personally prefer email for longer threads of dialogue, but I am available to you any way including a face to face meeting if you would like. Thank you in advance and we hope to hear from you soon.

She knew the email was coming because I texted her to confirm her email address and to let her know we would be reaching out, but I heard nothing back from her until just before bedtime last night when she texted me and replied to my email with this:

Under the circumstances I will be out by April 30... you can keep my security deposit and I would like a written reference for my next place of tenancy...

OMG SERIOUSLY?! THAT IS HER COMPROMISE?! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! HEY DUMBASS CHICK WE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT APRIL 30 IS YOUR LAST DAY REGARDLESS OF ANY OTHER SCENARIO SO THAT IS NO FAVOR. WHAT ABOUT MARCH RENT? WHAT ABOUT THE WATER BILL YOU ARE SURE TO LEAVE IN YOUR WAKE? WHAT ABOUT CLEANING OF THE APARTMENT THAT YOU WILL NOT DO? A WRITTEN REFERENCE GTFO WITH THAT UNACCEPTABLE BULLSHIT. THIS IS THE WRITTEN REFERENCE I WILL GIVE TO YOU:

Dear Sir or Ma'am, do not rent to this woman. She lies. A lot. She also sucks at paying rent, and when you ask for rent she complains. Then she lets shit like this happen:

After she breaks your stuff she will claim it is a manufatcurer defect and not her fault. She will be one of your worst tenants. She has been my worst tenant since 2009. Seriously. You are better off letting your rental sit vacant than to do business with this pathetic, selfish, lying pile of civilian shit. The end.

I would love to keep whining on my bootleg site about this manipulative asshole chick, but I have to waste most of my precious... precious morning getting all my stuff together for when we go to court at 1300 today. I hope I win and she gets the boot and has to go live in a homeless shelter. I definitely do not want that to happen to her kids, but they are collateral damage at this point and she made their impending bad luck for them all with her poor life decisions. What a bunch of crap!

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Sunday, 3-19-17: Down to the final month.
I have just over 4 weeks left at JH before the tax season ends. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I should be a free man on the 19th next month, and just in time for our 2-year wedding anniversary. So far this season I have already outpaced what I did for revenue all of last season for JH. I'm at 219 returns, and I did 235 all of last year. I've actually done more than that, but I don't count free returns because I don't get paid a bonus for those. I also don't get paid for returns where clients have their tax prep fees taken out of their refunds and there ends up not being a refund. People who owe a lot for back taxes, child support, student loan debt, etc. get their refunds taken by the government. It doesn't happen too often, but I have had 13 that I know of so far this season that remain unpaid. What a bunch of crap!

My final bonus at the end this year is based upon how many returns I do and not net revenue. In years past it has always been based on revenue, but returns done works for me. My goal is 222 paid returns done so I am almost there already at about 206 now. Oh Jesus, hell ya! Last year in the final month I did around 45 so if I do exactly that this year I'll be at 251. 251 is important because the bonus brackets go 201-250 and then jump up a bit 251-300. The difference between 250 and 251 is a few hundred bucks so it will be a bummer to end at just under 251. However, even if I do end up at between 222 and 250 I should get a nice bonus that eclipses the bonus I got last year.

Last year I gave a lot of my hours to a co-worker and "only" worked about 30-35 hours a week for the final month. This year I expect to work more hours, and in theory that should lead to a few more returns done. Plus I have more clients coming back to see just me so that helps. Each year I do taxes my pool of loyal return clients grows. Business is up this year by a fair amount, and I think that is most excellent.

I only worked 37 hours at JH last week. I lost several hours Tuesday PM due to that big snowstorm or I would have been over 40. I didn't even do a tax return until Thursday last week, but the last three days of last week were decent so I ended up ok for the week overall. Mid-March is always slow, but I have had enough to keep me busy so I have not been bored.

Senator Susan Collins is on NBC right now doing an interview about the ACA (Affordable Care Act.) Obamacare is an epic fail so Trump and many republicans have proposed a repeal of the ACA. The bill as proposed has a lot of people saying NO, including republicans, because it is far from perfect. However, I think it is better than Obama's frigging tax-penalty bullshizzle plan that we are stuck with now so I am all for it. Anything that eliminates tax penalties for NOT having health insurance is a win for me. OBAMACARE IS A BUNCH OF CRAP!


^To everyone who allowed OBAMACARE to happen in this country.

A JH client last week came in, and she made just over the poverty line for the year last year and had to pay a $695 penalty on her taxes because she did not have health insurance in 2016. She is a nice lady; I did her taxes a few times in years past including way back when I worked at Liberty Tax. My co-worker did her taxes and I saw the file after the fact. She doesn't have a lot of money and the extra $695 would have gone a long way for her in this world. Her refund ended up being about $300, and we charged her that much just to do her taxes. What a bunch of crap!

None of my clients so far this year have paid a penalty for not having health insurance. ZERO. I hope to keep it that way, but sometimes my hands are tied. I do know all the exception codes very well so I use them often and liberally. A lot of my clients have health insurance, but for those who do not have it I do everything I can to find my way out of that penalty for them. So far so good, and considering how many tax returns I have done that is no small feat.

Stupid fucking healthcare tax penalty. All I wanna know is why? Why is that not illegal and unconstitutional?

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Wednesday, 3-15-17: I have not done one tax return this week. Why can't I beat level 3?
This week has been a smelly turd so far. What a bunch of crap! We got another huge snowstorm yesterday that puked 14.2" of snow all over us for most of the day, and during the height of that storm I had to install a new water heater. Now it is Wednesday at 1400, I am at JH, and I just realized the week is half over and I have not done one tax return all damn week. Epic fail.

The storm yesterday shut this office down early. I did come into work for my 1000 start time, but the snow started flying around 1100 and I closed at 1300. A 3-hour shift of hanging out and doing no taxes. No one gets their taxes done when a blizzard is beginning. Well at least no one in the middle of March when tax offices are slow. This morning everyone was getting a late start from digging out of all the snow. I actually didn't get to work until 1020 because I had a lot of apartment stuff to do beforehand. Plus I had to do a lot of shovelling at our own house. Fucking winter. One day Kat and I will be out of here this time of year. I hope.

The first half of March has actually been colder than all of February was. The average temp for the entire month of Feb. was 23.1, and we are at 22.5 now. OMG AND WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP ALL ROLLED TOGETHER. Gods damn it. Plus my plow guy will probably fuck me over and charge me for three plows since we got over 12" of snow. Yeah, over a foot of snow gets you the Informer price. What a bunch of crap that is! Hopefully he "only" charges for 2. I need a new plow guy before next winter starts. I might even just buy a plow and do it all my damn self. I don't want to be in Maine for winters anymore, but the reality is we will be here a while more before we are ever able to snowbird or just move for good.


^The last time 12" of snow was good. 1992, SNOW, song called Informer got a lot of air time. I remember "dancing" to it at the senior prom in May of 1993. I don't know how I got a date for that prom by the way. I was definitely not qualified for that mission, but some way some how I pulled it off so let that be a lesson that you better make a damn effort if you want anything worth having in this world.

I saw my old prom date several years ago, and she pokerized my best friend behind an outhouse while a group of us were camping. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I do not care now, and I did not care then because I am very happy where I am in life. Overwhelmed, but overall not looking back with regrets.

I have been very overwhelmed the past few days with work. Funny thing is JH has been easy, but the apartments have been kicking my ass. It all started last week when I had to start eviction proceedings on a tenant. I wrote about that enough last time, but there is plenty more to that saga and I plan to fill in the details on that next time. I have spent many hours dealing with that apartment and tenant, and on top of that I had a freeze at my Bangor duplex, I had a leaking sink to repair, I had to evict some mice, I had to shovel a lot of snow, and yesterday I had to replace a water heater in a blizzard. What a bunch of crap!

The electric hot water heater died for the first-floor apartment at the building by my office. Both water heaters at that building were on my list for replacement this year, but when the tenant texted me Monday just before supper that their hot water has been screwy I knew I needed to replace the thing. I looked at it, and water was actually dripping out from the top thermostat/element housing. Rusty, crappy, bootleg water. What a bunch of crap! The water heater is so old that I don't even know when it was manufactured, but my guess is 1999 based on a model number. OMG 18 years ago! The other water heater for the upstairs apartment was made in 2003 and still works jsut fine, but at 14 years old I made a decision to just buy two new water heaters and be done with it. Oh, I had a 10% off and 12-month special financing coupon for Home Depot so that made the decision to buy two easier.

So yesterday I got off work at 1300 and headed straight to Home Depot to make the purchase. Replacing a water heater in a snowstorm is always fun. The snow actually might have helped because new water heaters dragged nicely across a snowy ground. The tenant for the first-floor apartment helped me bring in the heaters and helped me do the install. It took about 1.5 hours total, and by the time we were done the weather was pure blizzard. It was horrible outside. The National Weather Service actually changed the Winter Storm Warning to a BLIZZARD WARNING, and rightfully so. Thankfully I only had to drive 1/3 of a mile to get home.

Even though I bought two water heaters I only installed one yesterday. I will do the other one when the girls who live in that top apartment move out in July. Maybe sooner if I get the urge. The tenants who live in that first-floor 2BR apt have been there since before I bought the building over 12 years ago. OMG AWESOME. At times those tenants have needed a kick in the ass to get their rent paid on time, but lately they have been awesome and I am glad to have them there. I actually have great tenants not only at those two apartments but also at the other four apartments next door in the building with my office, gym, and old apartment.

I am hoping the next month is easy for the apartment business because this past week has kicked the crap out of me. I have a tenant moving April 15th, and that 2-bedroom Chamberlain St. apartment will be available either later in April or in early May. I am not sure if both guys are moving on the 15th or just one, but I hope to find out soon. Either way I do know they will both be gone by May 1. They have been great tenants and I have plenty of notice from them. Plus May is a good time of year to have turnover because lots of people are looking for a place to live in the spring.

On Monday morning when I woke up at 0400 and could not go back to sleep I played Super Mario World for about an hour before I started my day. I died a lot, but I did manage to get here:

That is the level 3 castle, and I cannot explain why I died so much there. It is fucking hard man! Do I suck at video games now that I am old and have less free time than I want to have? That asshole wizard-thing kept screwing me up in a major way, and I found every way imaginable to die. A lot. I fell into the lava, I got shot by his magic, he formed on my face and crushed me, he turned bricks into enemies that killed me, lava balls smashed into me, and I even drowned. Yeah, I fucking drowned in a lava castle. Twice. What a bunch of crap! The sad thing is the wizard-guy appears AT THE VERY BEGINNING OF THE LEVEL. HE IS NOT EVEN THE ENEMY BOSS. EPIC FAIL.

I need to beat level 3 gods damn it. Maybe I can find a warp tunnel and just go around it.

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Monday, 3-13-17: Why am I awake right now?
All I wanna know is why? Why did I have to wake up at 0400 today? I tossed and turned for a half hour, but I did not feel tired at all so at 0430 I just got up and ate breakfast while I watched some news and weather forecasts. Another big snowstorm is coming tomorrow, 12-18", and that is a bunch of crap. Winter is far from over. Epic fail.

Last week sucked. It was a bunch of crap! The apartment business was an ass-kicker for me last week. I need to either dump a property or not work 40-50 hours a week at Jackson Hewitt next winter. I mostly can make it work doing both, but sometimes it is too much. I like the JH job and since I get paid exponentially based upon what I do it makes more sense to dump a property. Which property should I haul on? Most likely this one:

My bootleg Bangor duplex, the bastard stepchild property of my flock. We had a horrible cold snap hit hard over the weekend so guess what? If you guessed pipes froze over there again you got it. I can't seem to get that place figured out. There is one space in the kitchen area in the front apartment where cold air gets in, and when it is -1 with strong NW winds the cold gets pushed right in and then I have freeze issues. What a bunch of crap! Thankfully it was only a water-line freeze and not the sewer this time. However, it still took a long time to thaw both the hot and cold supplies for that upstairs bathroom.

The pipe-freeze at the Bangor duplex was a pain in my arse that took over an hour of my precious... precious time to resolve, but that was far from the worst things that happened with the apartments last week. The property I manage is in strong contention for hauling on right now as well. I have a tenant in the back apartment at that property who needs to ggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt! I can't stand her; she is a piece of crap. I wrote about her already a couple days ago, but now there is more.

On Friday morning as I was getting to JH to start my work day I got a call from the city code office. The tenant called code and had them come over to look at her "failure" of an apartment. She has a circuit that keeps tripping, and of greater concern is her furnace. There is a natural gas monitor heater, but there is also an old turd-tanker oil furnace that is probably older than me. A couple months ago my heating contractor told me the furnace has a cracked heat-exchanger so it needs to be replaced. Right now the furnace does work, but it belches a small amount of smoke into the apartment. Nothing life-threatening, but noticeable.

The tenant does not want to use gas, she wants to use oil. Gas would be cheaper for her, but she owes the gas company money so she can't sign up. Once we found out the furnace was not going to be a good long-term option for her I told her she could move out, but nope she stayed and kept using the furnace. However, since then she has gotten behind on her rent so now that she is facing a real threat of eviction she needs a reason to push back. What better reason than to have the city come see her furnace, right? WRONG.

This chick, I don't know what her long-term plan was? I guess she was hoping the city would force the owners to get a new furnace, but that was not going to happen. Once the city code guys (with whom I have worked before many times) found out there is a gas heater in the apartment it did not fall back on me or the owners anymore. In fact, the code guys told me to pull the circuit on the furnace because it can't be used anymore. OMG. This chick fucked herself by doing that, and even worse is the fact that extreme, record cold came in that very night. We dropped from 30 degrees Friday afternoon all the way down to -1 by Saturday morning. It got cold fast. FAST. All day Saturday it did not get above zero. We shattered a record for the cold for this time of year. What a bunch of crap!

I let this ignorant chick use some of my spare electric space heaters, but those were like pissing on a wildfire. You cannot heat a 1000 square-foot apartment with space heaters when it is -30 with the wind chill. So she had to leave and either stay in a hotel or stay with friends for the weekend. She told me she was out, I said okay, and I got her permission to go in to winterize the place. I was very conerned pipes could freeze and burst, but she peaced out at 0900 and I had to work at 1000 so that was not going to happen for a few hours. Thankfully JH was not busy so I was able to close early to not only thaw out my Bangor duplex but to also winterize that apartment. Fortunately no pipes had frozen yet at that apartment; I hope nothing is frozen in there now. It is only 8 degrees outside at the moment. I put antifreeze in the drains so we shall see. I guess if any issues do arise they will be in the cellar where there is still water in the lines.

The FED eviction hearing for this useless pile of shit chick is next Monday the 20th. Today I have an electrician coming to take care of her tripping breaker. Just getting an electrician was a major pain in the ass. Ben, the guy I've used for years, is working in Texas and not available anymore. I called a few other guys and a couple of them were booked out 4-6 weeks. What a bunch of crap! Finally I got a guy who said he could help so I am hoping he does not bag out on me today. We shall see soon.

This month is going to cost me a lot of money because winter is back with a vengenace. [sigh] March might actually end up being colder than February. How is that even possible? What a bunch of crap!

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Friday, 3-10-17: I died a lot tonight.
I played some more of Super Mario World tonight, and I died a lot. A LOT. What a bunch of crap! When I started playing I was only on my second drink so there is no excuse. I guess last week I made it to world 3, and that is perplexing because I don't remember defeating the enemy boss who lords over world 2. In fact I remember dying a ton in the last world 2 level before the castle-thing. I simply do not recall beating that boss, but how else can world 3 be available to me? All I wanna know is why? Why do I not remember? I was not even that drunk at the time.

I used to be pretty good at video games. Not so good could ever defeat level 6-2 in Ninja Gaiden, but I could hold my own and I once beat all 1000 levels in Populous. Granted I did not actually play 1000 levels in Populous, but I beat a lot of them. If I recall when you did good in Populous you advanced several worlds at a time. Guy looks it up now on his Google Interweb thing...

Oh cool here is level 6-2 from Ninja Gaiden.

^I'm pretty sure I quit Ninja Gaiden for good when I got to level 6-2. I never beat that level. It pwned us all back then. However, that was probably 1989 or something so I don't know what the hell happened. Hell, back then I rode my bike to the Money Tree Coin Shoppe and bought Wheat Pennies. We also rode to Clayt's market and bought Table Talk Pies and penny candy and ate them under the pine trees near the cemetary. Don't worry, it was the daytime so no cemetary monsters came at us. Plus we weren't actually in the cemetary because that would have been straight-up weird.

Claty's actually sold penny candy, too. It was in big jars and you scooped them out and put them into baggies. I usually bought Sour Patch Kids to go with my Table Talk pies. How was I not a disgusting fatbody back then? Oh I know. It is because we played outside like a boss. We lived in the sticks so it was a 2-mile bike ride to the store. There was no Interweb so we also played cool games like kickball in the summer and Tracker in the winter. Tracker was fucking awesome. The last time I ever appreciated winter was when we played Tracker. Maybe? Jason would get a 5-minute head start and I had to go find his ass and sometimes it took half a damn day and we travelled for frigging miles. No joke. You can only play tracker in the winter when there is snow by the way. The end.

Where was I? I am half in the bag so I need to rewind and take a look at what I just wrote. I am heading to Jester's soon to drink a PBR before we come home and bivouac. Last week I had two PBRs so this week I might have two again. Actually one would be better. I like PBR, but I liked it more when they had Stella Cider on tap. That stuff costs more, but it tastes pretty good. Now their draft beer selection kinda sucks but PBR is not bad and the price is right gods damn it.

The Chocolate Eclair Pie used to be my favorite. I think. I'm about 90% sure of that. However, I am old so I dunno for sure. Sometimes I miss my childhood because I could play with Matchbox cars and go eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr all day long and Mom and Dad took care of the important stuff like bills and a roof over our heads. However, I have Kat in my life now so I am past level 6-2 in life and by far better off than I ever was before.

I never did get to buy that 1909VDB for my Wheat Penny collection from The money Tree Coin Shoppe. I guess I needed more than $2 per bucks raking for Art next door! I wonder if Google has a picture of The Money Tree Coin Shoppe from Warren, Maine from the late 80s and early 90s? I doubt it but I shall looks. Now nothing but an empty, falling-down, weed-infested property sits there. That place went out of business forever ago. I went into the Navy in 1993 and time did not stand still like Rush would have you believe if you listen to their great song of the same name. Rush is great by the way. Not in my all-time top 10, but maybe in my all-time top 25...

Well that breaks my heart a little. A Google search for MONEY TREE COIN SHOP WARREN MAINE HISTORY gives nothing. Nada. It is like The Nothing came and took it away like The Nothing once came and took away the beautiful lake from the Rock Biters in the North in The Neverending Story. What a bunch of crap! Mmmm... limestone. My favorite. I miss you Rock Biter, and I miss you Money Tree Coin Shoppe.

At least a Google search shows me the Rock Biter! Fucking nostalgia. Now I just want to be a kid again. I wish Kat and I could have been kids together because we would have been the original Goonies before the 1985 movie ever happened. Goonies never say die!

This update has been one half-in-the-bag trip down memory lane that accomplished nothing. I should apologize to all two of you who actually read this shit-show, but if you don't like it you can ggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttttttttttt ooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt! I'm a 41-year old who thinks the 80s was the greatest decade to sue me. There is nothing wrong with wanting to play old video games and eat Table Talk pies. (early 90s count as awesome, too!)

I need to go to Jester's now and drink that PBR. In conclusion if you do not like my cool 80s references then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more. The end. Fin.

PS: I'll look up Populous next time. That is a great video game!

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Thursday, 3-09-17: Gods damned Giblet tenant.
I have a turd in my tenant punch bowl right now. What a bunch of crap! All the other tenants are decent, but this one is epic fail. She is a bad person. She is full of crap, and she is an ungrateful, miserable, selfish, piece of dump human.

This chick has had trouble paying her damn rent on time lately. She's never been great at paying on time, but recently she is horrible. Last month I gave her an eviction notice and she got all offended about it like I was in the wrong for doing my damn job. I wrote about that on this bootleg site, just check the archives. She finally did pay $550 of the $750 Feb rent around the 15th last month, give or take, so I told her the rest of February rent and all of March rent was due no later than March 7th or she would get another Pay or Quit notice on the 8th. Yesterday was the 8th, she did pay the $200 Feb. rent that she owed, but she had no March rent. She did have excuse #348,567, though. "I checked and my tax refund is coming in on the 14th so I will have it then." NOPE, DENIED. EXCUSE NOT ACCEPTED BECAUSE IT IS PROBABLY ANOTHER LIE. (This chick lies a lot. A LOT.)


EXCUSE DENIED BEOTCH PAY OR GTFO.

All I wanna know is why? Why would someone use that flimsy excuse to someone who is a tax preparer? She knows I do taxes because I did her taxes last year! The IRS "Where's my refund?" feature only goes out a few days at most, not an entire week. However, I suppose it is possible somehow she knows she is getting her refund next week and if she does get it then great she can pay. That didn't stop me from giving her a 7-day notice last night.

It gets worse. She started complaining to me via text messages that she doesn't like the apartment because it is too expensive paying the utilities. Waaaaa... plus supposedly the electrical is unsafe. Waaaaa. I told her she is welcome to move out whenever, but she started complaining some more. Waaaa... you will keep my security deposit. Waaaa... you charged me $90 from my deposit for a sink that broke when it was not my fault.

She is referencing this sink by the way. I wrote about it on this turd-heap last year:

That was a brand new sink before she moved in, and 6 months later look at the thing. Totally ruined! She tried to say it was a manufacturer's defect, and I told her there is no way a manufactuer would give me a new one with it looking like that. I told her too much weight got put on it so she replied "What, are you calling me fat?" Hahahaha. This was our in-person conversation from last night by the way at around 1930 after I got out of work. She is actually fat. What a bunch of crap!

I don't know why she was so worried about a $90 deposit deduction from 6 months ago for a sink she clearly broke, but she mentioned talking to a lawyer about it. I told her I have photos (above) as well as a witness to the condition of that sink since my own stepdaughter used to babysit for this chick. I asked her what a $90 sink had to do with the fact she had none of the $750 March rent that is due. No good answer there, but then she got even more upset because the apartment is unsafe in her opinion.

This useless pile of civilian shit is all about playing games, but she is not very good at these games. The reason I was even able to talk to her in person last night is the fact that, according to her, the electrical panel has a breaker that keeps tripping and is unsafe and a fire hazard. She said she reset it and sparks came out and she got electrocuted. I doubted that very much because she is a habitual liar, but I still needed to see for myself. I fooled around with the breakers and there were no sparks and I did not get electrocuted. There is one faulty breaker causing the kitchen, mudroom, and exterior lights to fail, but there is nothing life-threatening and surely no fire hazard.

This chick is a real piece of crap. She had her kids stuff packed so that they could leave and I guess go stay at a hotel on a moment's noice. She was so worried that the place could set on fire, but I know it was all 100% an act. She was trying to put one over on me and either delay the eviction notice or else build something to use when and if (seems likely we will) we do go go court. She's planning to say "Judge, my landlord did not fix my electrical panel and it was unsafe..."


^Fail trophy awarded to my crappiest of crap tenants.

I told her I was NOT going to have an electrician come in the night and I was NOT going to put them up in a hotel because a tripped breaker was not about to cause the building to burn down. She got PISSED OFF even more after that, she said she would see me in court, and I hit the road. I told her I would have an electrician look at it and I intended to do just that until a couple hours ago today.

I texted her this morning to find out when I could get an electrician to come, she didn't write back for a while, and then she wrote this "I would prefer to be there. I get home around 8." OMG CHICK SERIOUSLY?! I THOUGHT THE PLACE WAS ABOUT TO BURN DOWN AND NOW YOU ARE TELLING ME TO WAIT UNTIL 8PM?! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! I replied "Absolutely not. If you need to be there then let's plan for your next day off. When is that?" I sent that at 1353 and have not heard back. It's not 1715 so obviously it is not that important to her. Fucking beotch. God I hate her.

Fortunately this is the property that I manage so I am not going to lose out on all the rent she probably will never pay, but it still costs me money in lost fees and I will have to spend a ton of time on it. I do feel bad for the owners as well because I was the one who put her in there. I've already spent a ton of time on it today documenting everything in Word file in case it does get messy in court. I'll also have to get a new tenant in there once I can flush this current smelly turd of a tenant. She will leave the place a mess as well so bye bye precious... precious time dealing with it. What a bunch of crap!

So in conclusion it looks like I will be in court later this month. I already filled out the forms to have a sheriff serve her worthless ass, and the FED hearing is scheduled for March 20. I actually scheduled the hearing last month because I saw this one coming. Better to have a court date set then cancel it if not needed. If I had waited until today to call for a court date the hearing would not be happening until April. F that. I want her ass gone ASAP. The end.

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Wednesday, 3-08-17: My first update from the tax office in a while.
It is a pretty slow day here in the JH WalMart office. I have been here for 6 hours, since 1000, and I have done two tax returns. The rest of the time I have been working on some other stuff including paying a few rental property bills. $530.33 mortgage payment #78 of 120 for the house across the street from my bootleg office and gym. I "only" owe a little over $20k on that house, and at my current pace it is paid off in 3.5 years. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I hope to pay it off sooner, but there is a reason I am sitting inside a Wal Mart tax office right now. I don't have a spare 20-grand just lying around in a bank somewhere. Years ago I had that much saved up because I was cheap, but alas no more.

Bye bye $104.89 for the dumpster at my office and gym building. That dumpster has been $104.89 for many years. No price increase = oh Jesus hell ya! My gas bills for the apartments total up to $1830. Not too shabby for the middle of winter. No complaints. Last year at this time the gas bill was $1685, but two years ago the bill was $3263. What a bunch of crap that was! This year the price per therm is lower than at this time last year, but it was a bit colder this year so there is the difference. Two years ago the price per therm was very high and we were in a fucking planet Hoth polar tundra vortex middle finger from Earth scenario. This weekend will be record cold and Hoth-like, but hopefully after that spring starts to win the battle...


^Hoth is only cool in the 1980 classic Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back and not in real life gods damn it.

I also paid $500 to each of the Home Depot and Lowe's credit cards today. Everything on there now is no interest special financing, but a huge chunk of that expires in May. Last year I had those cards at around $16-17k (near the max!), but now the balances are a combined $9378. $3000 of that is special financing expiring in 2018 so really "only" $6340 is due by the end of June. I should be able to take care of all that thanks to the JH job. I hope!

Kat got hired on to work every other Saturday for karaoke at Jester's. She has really gotten that place cranking on Friday nights. A lot of the time the bar is packed for most of the night. She rocks! The owners are very happy with the business they do every Friday. Unfortunately, she might have to work for "free" for a month thanks to the shit-show that ended our Friday night.

We often get drunk Giblets at last call who stick around finishing their drinks while we break down the gear. From time to time someone will offer to help, and we always say thanks but no thanks. Sometimes I must admit I am a drunk Giblet at last call, but I am always able to function. Last Friday this guy thought he would pitch in and help load a speaker. Unfortunately, he was wasted drunk. So drunk he could not stand up. I did not give him permission to take a speaker, but I looked and there he was holding onto a speaker by the Mountaineer and falling down. Fail. Thankfully he did not get hurt, but the speaker took a bad bump. I told him I would get the speaker, but the guy stood back up, picked up the speaker to about waist-high so he could put it into the vehicle, and then he dropped the speaker ONTO THE CONCRETE WALKWAY and then he fell over. The speaker landed hard, too. HARD. The frigging speaker bounced it landed so hard. What a bunch of crap!

Thankfully the guy was not hurt, but the speaker is pwned. It will not even turn on anymore. Gods damn it! A new speaker costs $399, and Kat had to order that Monday. The old speaker was in like-new condition so there is nothing good at all from this epic fail. The guy did text with me and he did promise to pay, but we shall see when and if he ever does. He better pay because 400 fucking dollars is a lot of money. Gods damn it and what a bunch of crap all rolled up into one!


^This is the type of speaker that was ruined. The case was cracked, it was all kinds of bad. What a bunch of crap!

The boss doesn't want anyone working overtime this month, but she wants me to work 5 days a week and we are open 1000-1900 most days. I am here by myself this time of year so that is 44 scheduled hours. I can clock out for lunch to whittle it down and I can also leave early and/or come in late. Most likely I will close a little early Friday and Saturday, but we shall see. Maybe I will close a little early tonight if my 1800 appointment no-shows. I don't want to work overtime anyway, not this time of year, so that plan suits me just fine. I have other apartment stuff to do so that takes up my precious... precious time as well. I might have to do an eviction in a couple weeks, too. More on that next time.

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

Friday, 3-03-17: A video game I've not played in decades.
Katherine helped me play the Nintendo Wii tonight. Oh Jesus, hell ya! I was too dumb to make it work, but she found a solution. No problems, only solutions. My plan was to drink some coffee brandy and play video games for a little bit, and that worked out just fine. If not for Katherine I would not have played video games tonight. There is some thing that connects to some other thing, but that thing did not do it's thing so Katherine found some other thing and then I was good-to-go. To quote Danny Glover from Lethal Weapon I'm too old for this shit. (But not too old to play!)

The fact I need an 18-year old to make a video game console work for me = what a bunch of crap! Seriously pathetic, but kinda funny in a few ways. Even worse is the fact that I grew up with old video games but back then I think it just plugged into a coaxial cable port and worked like a boss every time. Except for the NES when you had to blow into it a few times. Epic fail there. Come to think of it the systems only worked like a boss 50% of the time. What a bunch of crap!

I do not want to play Wii games. I want to play the old NES and SNES games. Thankfully Super Mario World was on the screen as an option from which to choose, and I got to play it for the first time since probably 1992. I do not know how to make old video games appear in the Wii, but a couple of them were just there like magic so I rolled with it. There is a way to download them for a fee, but maybe not anymore because one of Daniel's friends was telling me he waited in line for six hours last night at Best Buy for the new Nintendo thing so now the Wii is obsolete. Hell, I am practically obsolete so no worries there. As long as I can play old video games I'm good.

So I played Super Mario World tonight, and it was everything I hoped it would be and then some. I was NOT good at that game, and at first I had no clue what I was doing. I did die a lot. A LOT. Then I did better and was like a Goonie and did not die. However, I still died some so I was not a true Goonie because everyone knows GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE! Then I got to world 2 and it was a shit-show. Not coincidentally I also had my second coffee brandy drink so perhaps there is a correlation? I died too many times to count, and then I did ok and managed to make it almost to the world 2 castle. However, the level before the castle had football-player-guys along with other enemies and I was pwned:

All I wanna know is why? Why the hell are football players who shoot bullets in this game? They killed me a lot. What a bunch of crap! I guess the football players are the jacked-up turtles. Sting would approve since he once released an album entitled The Dream of the Blue Turtles. I do not see blue turtles in this game and that album was from the mid 80s so maybe Sting just did a lot of drugs. There should be blue turtles. I don't even actually know what I am talking about anymore. What a bunch of crap!

Playing old video games is like a bucket-list thing for me. So cool I can do it before I check out. Maybe I can do it more. I want to play Super Metroid and more Super Mario World. Then maybe some other classic SNES games like Super Ghouls and Ghosts, Secret of Evermore, Populous, Actraiser, Zelda a Link to the Past, and a bunch of others that I can't think of right at this particular moment. OLD VIDEO GAMES ROCK.

I need to head on down to Jester's in a few minutes. I won't get too boozed up because I have to work tomorrow. Plus hangovers suck. A lot. I have Sunday and Monday off and then it's back to the grind at JH Tues-Sat the following week. They are cutting back on hours and overtime, but for some reason they think I do great so they want me there as often as possible and are willing to pay me a little overtime. My location does lead the entire state in several key categories, but it's not just me making it happen. (Okay it is mostly me, but I hate to brad too much.) So far it has been a good tax season; only about 6 more weeks left for me!

That is all. The end. Fin. Time to go watch some karaoke singers and hang out with my Sweet Pea before last call. Unfortunately she has not been feeling well all week, but she is tough and went to work anyway even though she has bronchitis and is on antibodies and stuff. Maybe amoxopillians? I have taken those before and they are pretty damn good. Amoxopillians haul on viruses or no, I guess not viruses but bacteria. I don't know because I am a moron when it comes to health and medicine. I just drink booze once a week and let the rest take care of itself.

In conclusion Super Mario World is awesome! Nostlgia, beotches. Fin.

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Wednesday, 3-01-17: The TV shows we watch and how good they really are.
Kat and I have several TV shows we watch together on a weekly basis. Of course shows come and go so the lineup varies, but in general we find time to watch the following shows lately: Jeopardy, WWE (wrestling), The Walking Dead, Bar Rescue, Colony, The Big Bang Theory, Gold Rush, Emerald City, and The Detour. We almost never watch a show as it airs; we prefer to DVR the shows and then watch them later so we can FF commercials and the crap.

Jeopardy is a show we recently started watching. Alex Trebeck still hosts the show. Amazing! He was the host when I was a kid; I remember watching it in the late 80s and early 90s. With FF it's a 20-minute nightly fun trivia game for us both. The questions are often difficult, but it is fun. It has quickly become one of our favorites and a way to break up the evening a bit since it airs at 1930 Mon-Sat (Sat is a rerun episode.)


^Final verdict: VERY GOOD SHOW

WWE is a show I have watched on and off since the late 90s. We record Monday night Raw and Tuesday Smackdown and FF a lot of the show. What we don't finish before we bivouac we watch the following day. RAW is 3 hours and Smackdown is 2 hours so out of 5 hours of programming each week I would guess we actually "only" watch an hour or two. On occasion we will also hop onto the WWE Network and watch some of a Sunday PPV special, too.


^Final verdict: GOOD SHOW ONLY WITH LIBERAL USE OF FAST-FORWARD

The Walking Dead is one of our favorites. The show is good, and the actors are worthy. Special effects are decent, and the show has such a large following that there is even a talk show that follows called Talking Dead. Since we are nerds at heart we watch Talking Dead, too. Hehe.


^Final verdict: VERY GOOD SHOW

Bar Rescue has been on for a few years, and Kat and I enjoy seeing John Taffer berate failing bar owners and staff. The show is very formulaic, but it never seems to get old. Taffer shows up to a failing bar where everything is a shit-show, he barks and yells, the bar fails some more, he facilitates a renovation of the bar, and then at the end he leaves with things presumably on the right track.


^Final verdict: GOOD SHOW

Gold Rush has also been around for a few years now and follows a few different miners as they quest for gold. I don't rate Gold Rush as high as The Walking Dead or Bar Rescue, but I still like the show. Sometimes if drags a little when they show equipment breakdowns for the 1000th time, but overall it is a good show.


^Final verdict: DECENT SHOW

Emerald City is one of the newer shows that we watch. NBC ordered a 10-episode first season, and the finale is this coming Friday. The show is a different take on the classic Wizard of Oz story. The special effects are great for a TV show, and most of the actors do a very good job. The story can be meandering and confusing at times, but overall we like the show a lot and hope it is renewed. Looking online it seems more likely than not that the show will get hauled on due to low ratings, though. What a bunch of crap!


^Final verdict: GOOD SHOW SO FAR, BUT TOO SOON TO TELL FOR SURE

The Detour just returned last week for a second season on TBS. Season one was hilarious! The first episode of season two was a letdown so we hope it picks back up to where it left off in season 1. The show for the first season was a comedic road trip for a family and all their misadventures. It airs later so it can be more raunchy; sometimes I do think they take the gross humor a little far but the actors all do a great job in their roles.


^Final verdict: TOO SOON TO TELL. (Season 1 was GREAT. Season 2 opener was not great.)

Colony is a show on the USA network about an alien invasion. It has a great concept, but often the execution is flawed and the story tends to drag. Plus none of the actors are great. The guy's wife really sucks; we can't stand her as an actress (she was Rick's wife on The Walking Dead until she died a few years back.) Maybe she really is a good actress, but in both shows we've seen her in we see nothing but epic fail. I don't really care if Colony gets cancelled or not, but we are in season 2 now so if USA does haul on the show I hope they at least wrap everything up and explain some shit. Explanations are few and far between on Colony, and that is a bunch of crap.


^Final verdict: MEDIOCRE SHOW (Needs better actors and pacing)

The Big Bang Theory is a show that has slowly grown on me over the years. It's been on for several years now, and it is about nerds who do funny nerdy things. I still don't love the show, but I do like it and I think it has done a nice job of evolving the characters so nothing stays too stale. The show also gets bonus points with me for having so many fun references to "nerdy" things including Star Wars, video games, comic books, etc. Final verdict: DECENT SHOW

In conclusion I would say the best show we currently watch is The Walking Dead, but Jeopardy is a classic. However, comparing those two shows is like comparing apples to oranges. The worst of the current crop of our shows is Colony. If my DVR was full and I needed space that one would get hauled on first. I don't hate the show, but I don't love it either. The same can be said for Fear the Walking Dead; that show airs in the summer or some time later this year.


9-04
10-04 11-04 12-04 1-05 2-05 3-05 4-05 5-05 6-05 7-05 8-05 9-05 10-05 11-05 12-05 1-06 2-06 3-06
4-06 5-06 6-06 7-06 8-06 9-06 10-06 11-06 12-06 1-07 2/07 3-07 4-07 5-07 6-07 7-07 8-07 9-07 10-07 11-07 12-07 1-08 2-08 3-08 4-08 5-08 6-08 7-08 8-08 9-08 10-08 11-08 12-08 1-09 2-09 3-09 4-09 5-09 6-09 7-09 8-09 9-09 10-09 11-09 12-09 1-10 2-10
3-10 4-10 5-10 6-10 7-10 8-10 9-10 10-10 11-10 12-10 1-11 2-11 3-11 4-11 5-11 6-11 7-11 8-11 9-11 10-11 11-11 12-11 1-12 2-12 3-12 4-12 5-12 6-12 7-12 8-12 9-12 10-12 11-12 12-12 1-13 2-13 3-13 4-13 5-13 6-13 7-13 8-13 9-13 10-13 11-13 12-13 1-14 2-14 3-14 4-14 5-14 6-14 7-14 8-14 9-14 10-14 11-14 12-14 1-15 2-15 3-15 4-15 5-15 6-15 7-15 8-15 9-15 10-15 11-15 12-15 1-16 2-16 3-16 4-16 5-16 6-16 7-16 8-16 9-16 10-16 11-16 12-16 1-17 2-17

Click here to go back to the top...