(Last updated: 2-25-2020)
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Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.
If you want to know who the hell I am and why I spent my hard-earned $18.17 to register this domain and to share my thoughts with the world then you can click here to find out. I have no update schedule so if you don't like it then you can ggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttt oooooooouuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt!
Click here to check out my bootleg quotes page.
ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Why are you still here? Chances are pretty damn good that I WILL insult you in some fashion if you choose to continue beyond this point. The purpose of this site is to entertain me, and I am often entertained at the expense of others. Therefore, prepare to be slandered. A lot. It's still not to late to leave with your feelings intact!
Tuesday, 2-25-20: Property taxes and income taxes.
WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!
Brewer is too gods damned expensive. Gods damn it! $19,000 a year in property taxes for 6 buildings. Ouch! Taxes are actually escrowed for both our own house and the Chamberlain duplex so that is why I "only" paid about $5700 this time. Plus I had paid a little extra on the Allen Rd buildings last fall when I had all the precious... precious money from the Holyoke St house sale.
^Holyoke house late last summer before it hit the market. I didn't get what I wanted from that sale, but the proceeds did help pay down the Lowe's and Home Depot cards, they helped finish this tax business, and that sale last fall gave me enough saved in the bank to pay off the property taxes. For the first time in MANY years I paid all the property taxes on time. Oh Jesus hell ya! I also have the Lowe's card paid down to a zero balance, and I "only" owe $4800 on the Home Depot card. Last year at this time I owed a few thousand in property taxes and I had somewhere between $15-$18k out on the Home Depot and Lowe's cards. Most of that was no-interest promotional pricing, but owing that much still sucks. A lot. In many past years I've had liens put on properties from the city because I sucked at paying the property taxes. What a bunch of crap!
Hopefully I can get the Home Depot card down to zero later this year. The $4800 left is no-interest, but that expires in the fall so if I don't have that part paid off I get pwned in back interest at something like 26% a year. I'd love to see the bank account increase instead of decrease, but I don't really expect that can happen until summer. Heat and plowing cost a lot this time of year, and the tax business is not profitable yet. Thankfully today is 45 degrees again and nat gas is cheap so heat hasn't been ridiculous to pay for this winter. Plowing hasn't been horrible, but we have had a lot of 3" snow events. Small snowfalls but just enough to need plowing.
Speaking of the tax business, I did have a walk-in client not long ago. Nice older lady who didn't want to wait hours at the library for the free AARP tax service. She said there were two volunteers on duty and 60 people in line ahead of her so she left and just came to my place. All I wanna know is why? Why would people wait for hours for free tax prep like that? Funny I just changed my sandwich-board sign this morning to say in part "Low senior and veteran prices call or stop by" (Phone number on the sign, too.) Changing the sign is a bit of work, but I think I need to mix it up every now and then because I am not advertising anywhere so that sign is like my beacon to the world out by the road. I think my LED sign in the window helps, too.
Today I've had a couple phone calls as well, people making appointments. I've logged 34 paid tax returns so far, and I've actually filed 38. I have three others unpaid (friends/family whom I trust will actually pay me) and Katherine's done for free because hers was so easy and my first one of the season. I have no problem doing a family simple tax return for free, but most people including my own family members will pay at least something since it costs me precious... precious money to run this place.
I also have 6 other tax returns at varying points of "in process", some just awaiting clients to come sign and pay. At this time in prior years working at JH I would have done 4 or 5 times as many tax returns, but I'm totally fine with not being that busy so far. I have had a lot of new clients this year, people who have just showed up at my door, so that is great. I've met some great new clients and hopefully they will stick with me for many years to come. Some of them are 80+ years old so law of averages, life expectancies, etc will cause natural attrition. I'll be sad when a couple of my really old clients do check out for good because they are the best ones.
My goal was to do 100 paid tax returns this season, and I think I will fall short of that. However, if I get a big push in April it is definitely possible. I wanted to take in $10k in gross revenue (before any expenses) and that seems less than likely, too. Oh well I'm happy enough with how things are going so far. I've gotten positive feedback and people seem happy with me so that is the most important factor in whether or not I can succeed long-term. Doesn't matter how many customers I get if half of them think I am a piece of shit!
Monday, 2-24-20: The Corona virus and a birthday.
We finalized our airfare for our upcoming May 2-8 Mexico vacation to the Royal Haciendas a few days ago. Kat and I finally decided to pick SW Airlines out of Boston, and hopefully we can rent a van to drive to and from the airport since this time around there are 8 of us going. Large group = more entertainment. However, large group = more coordination with flights and all that related stuff. I spent a total of several hours (at least) shopping flights since late last year. Prices are not great, but oh well we just have to accept our fates. At least SW Air doesn't charge those bullshit bag fees. What a bunch of crap those are!
The stock markets are down bigtime today across the globe; the DOW is down 1032 points right now. OMG! It is only early PM so maybe it will recover some in the next 3 hours before the closing bell rings. I don't really care that much what it does since I don't plan to cash in any of my tiny little IRA anytime soon. I should put more money into the IRA, but fuck it. Globally there are major fears about a spreading pandemic known as the Corona virus. The thing originated in China a few weeks ago, and now more and more cases are showing up everywhere. Except in North Korea because apparently they are all invincible warlords there...
^Kinda funny but morbidly so since my awesome wife does have lyme disease. I still don't know how I have avoided lyme for all these years considering the amount of tick bites I have gotten from these Maine woods.
Travel to and from China is nearly at a halt, and if this Mexican-beer-named virus keep spreading all over the place then our vacation plans could be in serious trouble. Having to cancel a vacation to the source of actual Corona beer would be an ironic and cruel bunch of crap so I would like to see this thing wind down ASAP. Seems things are getting worse instead of better at this point, though. Gods damn it! Now Italy has announced a large amount of Corona-virus cases so that is all bad.
I did a couple hours worth of tax stuff to start the day, had a client stop in right as I was opening so he could finish his stuff that I started last week. I had some other things to work on, but now I don't have much going on so maybe I will get someone else to stop by and/or to call. If no one else comes in then I will just read and screw off on the computer until I can close. The weather outside looks fantastic today so we're losing some of the snow. 46 degrees and sunny = WANT MORE. Winter has not been bad at all this year, and I thank the gods who do not really exist for that. We don't have a huge snowpack on the ground, but what we do have is very dense since we got heavy sleet a couple weeks ago to pack it all down.
Our own driveway is kind-of a mess because of all the sleet and ice we did get. I'm fine with just driving over it, but finally last week Kat had enough so she attacked the snow at the end of the driveway with a pick, sledge, and the shovel. I was at work so I didn't see it, but she went BEAST MODE and got rid of a lot of it. Then she fell down and had a sore back for a few days before she went to the doc. Turns out she has two cracked ribs from that fall. TWO. OMG WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! It is pretty much my fault since I was sick when we got all that sleet and I didn't do well at all cleaning the driveway. It was too dense for the snowblower the next day and I was too cheap to have our plow people come give it all a push. Me = epic failer husband.
Overall we had a decent weekend. I got more drunk than I should have gotten Friday night, but I still had the energy to use my gym and to play racquetball Saturday PM. It was the first Saturday all year where I actually exercised. I got myself into a pattern that I actually like quite a bit where I get good exercise Sun-Fri and then I can get boozed up Friday night and just hang out and recover Saturday. I haven't really had a bad hangover on a Sat, but we bivouac so late Friday night that we always end up fatigued Sat anyway.
My awesome DJ wife worked 4 consecutive nights Thursday night through last night (with cracked ribs and broken glasses) so I'm sure she is glad to have today off. The precious... precious money she made is great. We spent a lot of it in one chunk yesterday morning at the grocery store. We bought a bunch of healthier foods like fish, gluten-free snacks and pasta, low-sugar Greek Yogurt, fruits, etc. Eating healthy is definitely more expensive than eating trashy. I skipped the donuts like a boss, but I felt that gravitational pull towards them as we passed the bakery area... Poor Kat needs to try as hard as she can to avoid sugary and gluteny (real word?) foods to help the antibiotics that she is on fight her lyme. I wish she would get better ASAP, but she has a long way to go still.
Friday, 2-21-20: FUCK THIS FUCKING SNES SHIT!
I watched some news, I played some SNES Classic, and now here I am. Oh, I also checked in on the Celtics game a little. They won and are having a great season, but I am only a casual NBA fan. Watching Fox News and CNN is more entertaining to me for the political shit regarding Trump, the Democrats, and etc.
Fucking SNES Classic, old video games are hard gods damn it. I swore at my TV a lot tonight. A LOT. I was in level 7, and once I made it to the emeny boss in the photo above. Then I immediately got pwned and I could not do shit. These fucking wizards in the level, gods damn it they piss me off. They are like turds that do not flush.
^See that mother fucker who is kinda not there but who is actually there? Those guys can eat the peanuts out of my sheeeeeeeiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttt! I only made it to that red door once, and behind that door is the enemy boss in the first of the two photos. I got PWNED immediately. Gods damn it I cannot even beat an old video game I am a useless piece of shit! Oh, those ghost-turtle things also can eat my ass. You step on them and they die for a minute, but then they come back to life and eat your soul. It is all bad.
I died like 35 times tonight, an average easily of once a minute or more becaue I didn't pay for that long. I wrote pay but I mean to twrite play oh man maybe I should not be driving to the bar thankfully the bar is close and I ain't scared. Oh, check this out some bullshit happened today that I was not even witness to but that I will have to deal with.
Yesterday the code office called me regarding the addition we put onto the house four years ago. Apparently they never did a final walkthrough so they had to come and sign off on it. The dude was supposed to be here at 0900, but at 0920 he was not here so I had to go to work. He showded up fuck I can't write I am too boozed up what a bunch of crap! Okay ures I will come back later and figure it all out Goonies never say die! I haed to rewind and fix that wtwice and I still Fed it up. All I wanna know is why? Why am I so boozed up when it is only 2242? There are still over two hours until last call so I better fix my shit.
I forgot who I am and why I am here. Gav texted me earlier; on his way back from Rball there were a bunch of cops on the 395 bridge because someone threw him or herself off the thing and died in the Penob. All I wanna know is why? Why would you throw yourself off a bridge, ever? Especially in the winter in Maine when it was -11 this morning and all you have to do is drink a bottle of booze and go freeze. I will go freeze myself one day unless I die in some sudden other way that is not forseen. I don't give a fuck if I die. I am not going to kill myself yet becaue I think I am still healthy, but one day I will fail and then go check out. Once I thought living to be 100 years old would be awesome, but that was dumb and I take it back. Oh, I have had to rewind and fix this about 10 times a second because I am pwned so it is time to go find a dubloob, sell it on Amazon.com, and then go retire.
Just kidding I am nog going to retire becaue retirement seems boring. Daytime TV = what a bunch of crap! I am too drink to write anymore and I am too lazt to fix my shit so goodbye you scumpags. All two of youz! Goonies nver daty die!
Wait I am not done yet. I have to complain some more. It is bullshit abot the rando wizrds in SNES Mario. Like, seriously not cool. I am too dumb to get it right so I have to die one time a minute or more, and that suciks. A lot. I need cheat codes gods damn it. or I need to play Populpus. I want that game because it is great. The end now. Fin.
Thursday, 2-20-20: Dracula and Democrats (No
connection in this bootleg post.)
I started reading an interesting book about the North Pond Hermit last year, and I finished that one last month. That was a fascinating read, but I would not say it ever totally pulled me in like a good book can do. The next book I read was some piece of shit that I scrounged up from the spare room in the house, something that most likely came off a Goodwill shelf in the past, Clive Cussler's Black Wind. It was a chore to get through that book about espionage and shit, but I did finally finish it earlier this month. I had a little period of time earlier in this month when I was a little more busy here at the tax office so I didn't read much, but lately things have slowed down a tad so I started reading Dracula last week. Now I am up to page 50 and I might not get any further.
^I have a nice copy like that of this "classic" novel. Unfortunately it will probably collect a lot of dust in the years to come because I think it is a bootleg piece of shit. It's a bunch of crap! The story was penned back in 1897 so of course I have to expect many dated references, but the style of presentation totally sucks. I like parts of the first 50 pages when the guy is in Dracula's castle, but then it turns into a bunch of diaries and shit from his wife and other people, and from there I checked out.
My awesome wife bought me a Stephen King that I haven't read yet, The Outsider, but I don't want to start reading that one yet since it is series on HBO that we have been watching. The HBO version of The Outsider is great! If HBO can do Stephen King so well then I have no doubt the actual novel will be a great read. Kat actually bought The Outsider for me over a year ago, Christmas 2018 I think, but I was so busy trying to finish this tax office during last winter that I didn't read it. I had a very busy year last year overall so it is nice not being so busy yet this year.
I don't have any appointments here at the office today, but I did have a couple clients stop in to drop stuff off. This is the time of year when I start seeing more complex things on taxes that require some research on my end and some leg-work from my clients. I did nothing here Monday, but Tuesday I got busy so that was awesome. I had three "drop offs" to work on. One with a Hawaii rental property, one with an installment sale, and one with a gift tax consideration. (Gift usually not taxable but a part of taxes above certain thresholds.)
I don't think I will have a busy March at all here at the tax office so I need a good book or two ASAP. Thankfully I am old and have forgotten half the books I once read so I can re-read a number of those. I think I need to wash the stench of the epic fail Dracula off me ASAP so I will go dig out another Stephen King for tomorrow and next week. For the rest of today I'll just do a couple crossword puzzles and surf the web a little, maybe do some tax reading and hopefully not fall asleep. I also have some budgeting I can do. Three hours til close so maybe I will get a customer, too.
Before we bivouaced last night we watched a little bit of the Democratic debate. Bloomburg, Warren, Sanders, Biden, Buttigeg, and Klobicur. I butchered the spelling on those last two names. What a bunch of crap! Bloomberg got pretty trashed on by the other candidates, and I don't see myself ever voting for that guy. He just looks like an asshole, and his perfornance in the debate no-sold me on him completely. Warren and Biden = DO NOT WANT. Sanders is a fucking nut who claims to be a "Democratic Socialist" yet he owns 3 houses and, well, is nuts. His budget would bankrupt our country fast. Buttigeg I was liking some since he is ex-military, but I'm not there yet. Finally, there is Klobicur (Klobuchar get it right guy!) whom I know almost nothing about. I should read more about her plans for this great nation while I sit here and wait for a customer to hopefully call or come in...
^Klobuchar on the far right side. No political pun intended there hehe.
Okay I am on her website reading her plans. I like a lot of the things I'm reading about this chick, but it is not all sunshine and roses. Here is her plan for healthcare, something that I am very much invested in since I don't have health insurance myself and since my awesome wife has chronic illnesses that cost a shitload of our precious... precious money to battle.
"Senator Klobuchar believes that the Affordable Care Act is a beginning, not an end, and that changes need to be made on both the state and federal level to bring down health care costs. She has fought the Trump Administration’s efforts to dismantle the Affordable Care Act and believes that we must do more to help people gain affordable coverage rather than kicking people with pre-existing conditions off of their health insurance."
I agree changes need to be made, but I fear how those changes will be financed. Who pays for it all? Will there be penalties on taxes for not having health insurance like there was when Failbama was our fearless leader? To this day I would still tell Obama to his face that he should eat the peanuts out of my ssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttt for his fucking health plan that caused millions to pay extra taxes for NOT having health insurance. What a bunch of crap that was! He was the worst president in the history of our country for doing this shit.
Well there is no mention of healthcare mandates, but lower on her own page there is this:
"To pay for these investments Senator Klobuchar will increase the income tax rates for the top two brackets to the rates that were in place before the 2017 Republican tax law, further raise the income tax rate for the highest tax bracket and implement prescription drug reforms."
GODS DAMN YOU DEMOCRATS ALL I WANNA KNOW IS WHY? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS WANT TO TAX THE WEALTHY INTO FRIGGIN' OBLIVION?! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! I have no problem with a progressive tax structure. 10% to start easing up into a maximum of 37%, but when state tax factors in that is already roughly 45 cents of every high-income dollar going to taxes here in Maine. That is a shitload, and there is no need to take even more. I'll never be in that 37% bracket so my issue is not personal at all; I just don't think our frigging government should be any more socialist than it already is.
So in conclusion I am not really sold on Klobuchar at this point, but out of all the Dems she would be my pick. Most likely I will just give my vote in November to Trump since I do lean far right politically, but I really am not 100% decided yet and a good Democratic candidate might get my vote. Maybe some third party person will throw in and also give it a good push. Who knows?
Right now that socialist nut, Sanders, leads the polling for the Democrats so that is horrible and a bunch of crap all rolled up into one. Some of the others are hot on his heels in the polls, though.
Monday, 2-17-20: No customers on President's
Day so I will do some other stuff.
There is this guy who comes to the bar sometimes, and he gets really drunk and gets way too close to the ladies. He's actually gotten thrown out of the place in the past for inappropriately touching the ladies, and other guys have almost beaten him up. On Friday he was pulling the usual shit, getting too close, and I had enough so I told him to stop. He was really drunk, he looked at me like he gave no fucks, and he kept doing the same stupid shit so I had to take things to another level. DO NOT PUT YOUR HANDS ON MY WIFE GODS DAMN IT!
I'm usually quite mellow and NOT wanting to get into a fight at the bar, but sometimes someone needs to man up. The other guys there also wanted to kick his ass so I'm glad he was given the boot and things got broken up before they really got out of hand. I shoved the guy and he almost fell into one of Kat's speakers (or so I remember.) That was near the end of the night so it was not long before last call and the end of the karaoke show. Both my awesome wife and I were really liquored up so I don't even know how we got home or put the gear away. We did eat a Gluten-free frozen pizza before we bivouaced. Somehow my ballcap ended up in the back yard for a couple days after that, too. Hopefully none of the dogs took a piss on it. Fun times on Friday night!
Thankfully Kat is not mad that I elbowed her in the face. She actually didn't even remember that it happened until one of her friends told her all about it last night. I think she is somewhat happy that I stood up for her, but I don't want to really believe that until I hear her say it to me, which she has not. I'm glad she's not mad at me!
There are no customers at the tax office so far today. No calls or homeless people showing up, no nuthin. It is 1300 so I have been open for three hours and playing to an empty arena, so-to-speak. Hopefully someone shows up or at least calls to make an appointment. I did work on Jason's stuff some more this morning, and I also have to do some budgeting for this upcoming year. I haven't updated the rental property budgets in a half a year, and things always change so it is time to update. Plus I want to know how much money I have to make here at the tax office building just to break even.
I'm sitting up front in the newer "reception" area that I have had set up for a month, maybe 5 weeks. I never posted pictures of this area so I took a couple earlier:
^The sun really lays into the reception area for the first 2-3 hours of the day so sometimes I lower the blinds until the sun slides across to the south side of the building. I really like hanging out in the front area because I can see when someone is coming in, and I also have a better view out the big window. Plus maybe people can drive by and see it looks like someone is actually doing work and available even though I am just screwing off and writing my useless thoughts on this bootleg blog!
^Kat uses the back area for her DJ gear, and keeping her stuff there has worked very well as opposed to loading it and dropping it off at our own house. When it's here at the office there is no chance a cat can rou outside, and at the house we have two doors to pass through whereas here at the tax office there is only one door that we can just leave open for a minute.
Okay well I had in the budget for this office building "Garage rent" $250/month, but there is a problem with that...
^THERE IS NO GARAGE BECAUSE WE CANCELLED THAT SAGGING, ASBESTOS-COVERED THING LAST FALL! What a bunch of crap!
I did pull a permit for a new, smaller garage that hopefully I can build later this year. The permit expires at some point in August (I think?) so I should build it before then. However, what I should do and what I actually do might differ by quite a lot. I have not laid out even a rough work schedule for the spring and summer yet. All depends on what Gavin needs me to do and if Aunt Susie wants siding on her house down on the Cape.
So definitely no garage rent in this revised budget. Thankfully Dillon, Debbie, and Travis in the apartment above are always reliable paying rent so we can count on that income. I do budget overall 4% of projected revenue for bad debt/vacancies, but even with that factored in we still gross over $10 in the upstairs rent. We are a bit below FMV for rent up there since it's family, but that's a trade I will make any day to have our own family so close. You can't always trust everyone in your family, but I trust them completely.
With over $10,000 in rental income it's easy to think this place must be profitable even if I don't do any taxes in this first floor office space or if Kat didn't make any money from her wedding bookings (Meetings with clients here are great and make her look incredibly professional.), but alas there are sizeable expenses. Property taxes ($3356), heat ($2500), and mortgage ($4700) = BYE BYE precious... precious rental income.
After all the projected expenses this place, on average, should be at a loss of $3747 before even one dollar of income is collected from either Kat's DJ business or my tax business.
In reality some of the mortgage payment is a return on equity so that loss is closer to $2000. Eventually on a 15-year note the entire negative cash flow will be cancelled by the return of equity on the loan. However, we spent a ton of our own money and I had to refinance my other gym-property for additional remodel funds so it gets really hard figuring out the real cost of all of that. We took a building that might have been worth $75k, and we made it worth roughly double so all that is equity and, I guess, a non-factor now.
Damn this math is hard. What a bunch of crap! To sum it up and to simplify, I need a profit of close to $4000 before this place breaks even for the year. I think I can do that this year, but not much more. The tax business has its own expenses like the software, antivirus, books, paper, folders, ink, phone, and internet so I'd estimate my gross revenues for the business actually need to be $8000 before a break-even.
I expense electric and plowing to the apartment above since my meter covers the furnace, some common lighting, and the heat-pump electric water heater for the entire building. In the future I will probably shuffle some of that around, but for now it works well enough. The apartment upstairs has access to the Internet so that is a shared expense. Internet and electric cost close to the same and they both serve the entire space. Water/sewer expenses go to the apartment also since it is 90%+ used by them. My one or two piss-breaks a day do not equal jack friggin shit for actual cost. They do laundry, wash dishes, cook, shower, etc. All I do is flush a toilet and rinse my hands between 1000-1700.
So I essentially come over to this office for 35-40 hours a week to make no money after expenses. What a bunch of crap! I expected that to be the case, though. This thing will take a few years to get really going well so I need to be patient. Thankfully a lot of the tax-business expenses to get me through this year are already paid. I have my updated software, I have my books, and I have a pile of paper, folders, and other supplies. $60 spare ink for the printer, check. Between now and April 15th my only expenses should be a little more paper/folders, a few coffee K-cups, and some credit-card processing fees when clients pay with credit/debit. Hopefully my printer or computer doesn't die; they are still like new so I am guessing they both last for a few more years.
Alright turds, all two of you who actually read this pathetic excuse for a blog, I am going to go do other things now. Hopefully I can make $8000 in revenue doing taxes this year so I can come close to that precious... precious break-even mark. My goal is still $10,000, though. Right now I am not even close. What a bunch of crap! Still 58 days left until the filing deadline, though.
Friday, 2-14-20: Valentine's Day, level 7 Ghost
House, Analog Man, homeless guy.
^That is a generic Google image from someone who possesses far more talent than me. I could not get into the hole without being small (pun intended!) so I just let the evil ghost eat my soul and then I got in. However, it took a lot of tries. A LOT. I don't really know how I got it right in the end. As they say even a blind squirrel eventually finds a nut. Right?
I am almost too drunk to write, but shhhhh that can be our secret. I don't want to listen to Joe Walsh anymore. Let's listen to Slaughter because they are great. I need a hair-band fix gods damn it. Slaughter Up All Night. GREAT SONG. If you disagree then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I will hate you a little more.
So my tax business has been going well this month. I am not raking in money enroute to being independently wealthy anytime soon, but it is doing enough to justify its existence so that is awesome. Lots of new customers with nearly a zero percent of walkins not doing business with me. What I drunkenly mean to say is almost everyone who comes in actually has me do their taxes. However, today was the first time there that I had to tell a guy to ggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttttttttttt ooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. I was at least polite about it, though.
I got there at 0935 (open at 1000), and I thought I would have to shovel some snow. We got an inch of snow last night. Fortunately I had it plowed because my plow people are awesome. Will plowed it all out, but he did not waste my precious... precious money plowing the other properties he only plowed the tax office property. Normally for an inch of snow I'd be PISSED OFF to get plowing, but I need a friggin' clear lot if I want to even pretend to be a real business. Right?
I didn't have any calls or appointments so I worked on Jason's depreciation for a while for his taxes until my 1100 appointment showed up at 1040. I got her right in and was about to start when some guy walked in. I thought the guy might either want his taxes or done or have a question, but nope it was some homeless guy who wanted a place to warm up. OMG!
I swear to the gods who do not exist I can not make this shit up. The guy came in with icicles on his mustache so it was obvious he had been out in the cold. He asked me if I knew what frostbite was and I was a bit taken aback. DUDE OF FUCKING COURSE I KNOW WHAT FROSTBITE IS I GREW UP IN NEW FUCKING FROZEN WINTER ENGLAND. He was telling me some local churches would not let him stay and warm up, and I had another customer show up so I had to politely tell him to ggggggggggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt oooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
OMG A HOMLESS VAGABOND CAME INTO MY TAX OFFICE AND WANTED TO HANG OUT SO HE COULD WARM UP. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! It was only about 10 degrees, but holy crap I can't let some vagabond hang out in my friging tax office when I am trying to do taxes. I am dealing with social security numbers and PRIVATE information, and he is not welcome to spend his time in my waiting area so I politely sent him packing. I told him to go across the street to the shopping plaza there.
I was tempted to let the guy have a coffee or hot chocolate because he looked pretty cold. I told him I was in the middle of doing taxes (TRUE STORY BRUH) and that he needed to go somewhere else (AKA DISAPPEAR, SCUMBAG!) when he said "Can I just talk to you for a minute?" I felt badly, but not really becuse I am NOT running a fucking homeless shelter I am running a tax business so I was brutally honest. I told him it was not ok for him to hang out and I was busy doing taxes so he needed to go warm up somewhere else. Thankfully he left so I could get back to the business at hand.
I ended up finishing 3 tax returns today so now for Feb I'm up to 21 paid tax returns done, 27 total for the season. I"d like to do 100, and I think I can at the pace I'm on now. I expect things to slow down towards the end of this month and into March and then pick back up in April as the filing deadline gets closer.
SO my wife is awesome. We have almost gotten divorced/I have almost gotten hauled on a couple times, but thankfully lately we are doing well. She said she hates Valentine's Day and she didn't want me to get her anything, but then she showed up at the tax office (just missed seeing that nomad vagabond) and gave me chocolates. Then, get this, she got me a card and a very deicious cupcake. OMG! I didn't get her jack shit. I did give her cash to go buy a bra, but come on that is bootleg.
I FUCKING SUCK AS A HUSBAND SO WHEN I GET HAULED ON I CAN JUST CHOP WOOD. That last sentence makes close to zero sense gods damn it and what a bunch of crap all rolled up into one!
^Awarded to myself for how I handle Valentine's Day. Me = epic failer
I am half drunk and am about to go to the bar. I don't have any weekend tax appointments so that is great. Tomorrow my awesome wife and I can hang out and watch Netflix and TV and shit. Now Tesla is playing on my YouTube. I did not ask fo Tesla, but I will not complain because Tesla is awesome. If you disagree with me then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I will hate you a little more.
Okay turds, all two of youz who actually read this pathetic excusse for a website, I am going to go take a piss and then go to ester's now. Goonies never say die and level 7-4 in Super Mario World is gods damned hard! The end. Fin.
Wednesday, 2-12-20: Why does this happen every
So my exercise logs are a quick reference, and I just took a peek back to see if my thoughts were true. Sure enough they are indeed. I get sick almost every fucking February. For the past six years (as far back as I looked) I was sick for five of those 6 Februarys. OMG. Sometimes I even got a little sick again in April, and of course last year I was sick in December and I am just now recovering from being sick here in February. The only year of the past six that I was not sick at all in February was last year and, get this shit, it is because I was sick in January instead. OMG.
SO EVERY FUCKING WINTER I GET SICK. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! ALL I WANNA KNOW IS WHY? WHY DOES IT HAPPEN SO REGULARLY? WHAT AM I NOT DOING RIGHT? FUCK YOU, FEBRUARY.
The one thing that stands out to me immediately is the lack of daylight and direct sunlight exposure. No vitamin D? I buy vitamin D milk gods damn it. Is vitamin D even the sun-vitamin? I wonder if I need to buy a fake sun? My awesome wife got one a couple months ago, something called a "Happy Light" or some such noonsense. It seems like a bunch of bullshit to me, but they do get good reviews online and Kat seems to like hers well enough (though I am not sure how often she uses the thing) so I should get one for this bootleg tax office.
^HAPPY LIGHT TO NOT ONLY MAKE ME HAPPY BUT TO ALSO KEEP ME HEALTHY HEHE. Business expense for the tax office?! Shhhhh... don't tell the IRS.
If I buy a happy light and get a head cold again next February then I will not be happy and I will demand a full refund from the fake-sun salespeople. That is if I ever buy it at all. I should buy one, but how stupid would I look doing taxes next to a fake sun? The mental image of that is actually making me laugh out loud. (lol)
It's weird that I seem to generally get the same type of sickness. I get a head cold with a lot of congestion. Does that make my bootleg body defective? Now my friggin' right ear is also plugged so that sucks. Yesterday was the left ear so I can't win. Thankfully I have not had to close the tax office, but if Sunday was a work day I would have closed for sure since I was really, really sick. I was wasted like Doc-J and 8-Ball from Full Metal Jacket. What a bunch of crap! For the past two days I have gotten better and today I did yoga and went one pathetic mile on the treadmill so I am close to being good-to go. Maybe? Hopefully! I'm not 100% yet, but I like to think I am gaining.
The tax business is starting to pick up in a good way. I showed up today at 1000 with no appointments at all, but at 1005 the phone rang, a guy wanting to come at 11. Then when I was doing his taxes I got another call for an appt, and three different people popped in. One was to pay to file his from yesterday, one was to drop off taxes for me to start, and the other was to get a business card and to *hopefully* bring his stuff back soon. Being busier and making some money = GIMME MOAR. I could do as many as 7 tax returns a day for 5 days a week, 13 weeks, so that would be 455 tax returns done. This year I might do 100 so there is still room for expansion.
7 tax returns each and every day for 5 days a week all 13 weeks would be a myth much like dry land in the highly underrated Waterworld movie, but the math is fun on the projected revenues that would bring in. Always nice to dream, eh? I actually could really do 10 tax returns a day for 6 days a week, but not really F that I would be burnt right out and over at Acadia seeing a real psycholigist instead of just using this bootleg site that almost no one ever reads for my therapy "sessions."
Saturday, 2-08-20: Stupid head cold.
The weather both yesterday and Thursday was a total bunch of crap. We only got 2-3 inches of snow Thurs during the day, but then it turned to a light freezing drizzle near dusk so the Eagles canceled karaoke that night. We had freezing rain that turned into a dense, fine sleet for most of yesterday so that was even worse. I closed the tax office early Thurs, and I was only open for 3 hours yesterday because there is no point in having full hours in a big winter storm. The storm didn't even end until last night, and the Friday night karaoke was also cancelled due to the weather. Epic fail! It was two bad weather winter days. Scraping the ice off the vehicles was ridiculous earlier. It was a bunch of crap!
Surprisingly even though the roads were pretty bad yesterday I did have three tax clients including people who drove a half-hour to get to my office. Today I only have one scheduled client, but I am glad I got here earlier because I had a guy stop in and I had another guy swing by to finish his stuff that I had on hold. Plus I had to research some Maine state tax stuff for a client from yesterday.
Even though I have a head cold I still plan to booze some tonight. Normally my awesome wife would not be working on a Sat night hosting Jester's karaoke, but the normal Saturday DJ asked her to work on his behalf since he is also a pro wrestler and has a match tonight. Hopefully I can close this tax office up around 1600 and take a little nap so I have more energy for tonight. I'm not as sick as I was in December, but it is annoying I am just sick enough where using my gym or playing rball would not be a good idea. Even taking a nap might not work since my nose is all plugged up gods damn it.
This past week president Trump was acquitted by the senate in his impeachment trial. Pelosi, that fucking beotch making commemorative pens when the House of Reps impeached his ass last December. That broad has all kinds of issues you can just tell when you see her how much she hates Trump. Then she has the nerve to say she doesn't hate him. He is an asshole so there is no shame in hating the guy; she should just tell the damn truth about how she feels.
^From December. Commemorative impeachment pens. Are you fucking kidding me with that bullshit?! All I wanna know is why? Why was that approved by anyone as a good idea? Who the fuck paid for those pens? TAXPAYERS?!
WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!
Fuck you Nancy Pelosi you fucking suck for doing that. The impeachment was stupid in itself, but the pens is overboard and totally unacceptable.
Basically they tried to impeach president Donald Trump because they hate him. He does deserve all kinds of criticism, but come on what about Biden and his shady dealings in Ukraine?
Trump gave a "State of the Union" address Tuesday night that we didn't watch, but I was fascinated by the news breakdown of the act the next morning. I cycled through Fox News, NBC, and CNN for about 45 minutes so see each channel's take on things. It's a love-hate thing based on the TV network. Some pundits thought it was great and others thought it was too over the top, too much like a campaign rally. The major low-light of Tuesday night's speech was definitely the end when Pelosi pulled this horrible stunt:
OMG SHE RIPPED UP THE SPEECH LIKE A SPOILED LITTLE ROTTEN PRINCESS WHO DID NOT GET HER OWN WAY WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! She did that in plain view on all the cameras, too. She must have had that riciculous stunt planned out in advance. She pretty clearly hates Trump.
Trump's speech was a bit over the top at times, but it had some great points and moments. Trump gave Rush Limbaugh a Presidential Medal of Honor, and I wonder why that had to happen. I agree with Limbaugh politically, but personally I think he is a pompous ass. No wonder Trump loves the guy! I don't know if I will vote for Trump in November or not, but the Democratic lineup is very weak and people like Biden, Warren, and Sanders would NEVER EVER get my vote, ever.
Friday, 2-07-20: RIP Uncle Jimmy.
Uncle Jimmy is one of Mom's seven siblings, and she has already lost three of them. Uncle Chippy and Uncle Mark are both gone, and now sadly Uncle Jimmy has also checked out. Uncle Jimmy was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor last fall but he seemed to be doing better lately. Mom said he had recently gone golfing with Uncle Brian and Uncle Greg, and this is totally unexpected and took everyone by surprise. We all knew his odds of living a long life were miniscule once the brain tumor was discovered, but to have his lungs fill with fluid and him die before even getting to the hospital is a shock. The worst part is it happened so fast that only his wife had a chance to say goodbye; no one else was able to get to the hospital in time. The family out there (California) is very close, and they are all great people so I feel terrible for them all.
Uncle Jimmy was a great guy. I saw him at Jason and Holly's wedding 1.5 years ago, and back in the 90s I'd see him quite often when I was stationed in Alameda. I'd hang out mostly with Uncle Kevin out there, but I also visited Grandma and Grandpa, Uncle Brian, Uncle Greg, Uncle Jimmy and their families. Jimmy and Greg were on the San Leandro police force long enough to retire, and they are well-respected members of their community. His service will be huge since he was so well-loved. He truly was a great guy. All of My aunts and uncles on both sides of my family are awesome so it is sad when one of them passes away. I wish I could attend the service, but it is just too far to travel.
Poor Mom has not even slept. She said she tried to sleep, but obviously it was not going to happen. She got the news last night, and I know she is really sad right now. I can't even imagine what Jimmy's wife, Aunt Caroline, is feeling right now. Same for the kids and grandkids. Jimmy was not even 60 years old and he took care of himself so that is even worse. It really puts things into perspective and makes me appreciate what I have even more. Who knows I might wake up tomorrow with a tumor in my head. It already happened to my good friend (Deno) a few years ago when he was my age or younger, but thankfully his tumor was able to be removed and he seems to be doing well. (He kicks my ass at rball 90% of the time. What a bunch of crap!)
I'll definitely call Mom later to see how she is doing. I'm not opening the tax office this morning because of the weather. My 1000 appointment called me on my cell (half my clients have my cellphone number) so we pushed that back to early afternoon. I'm glad Mom is not going to work today, and I hope she can stay in touch with family for most of the day. Dad will also be home with her so she won't be alone, and that is comforting to know.
Tuesday, 2-04-20: Terminator: Dark Fate.
The original Terminator from 1983 was fan-fucking-tastic. It's an absolute scifi movie classic, and it even holds up well today in terms of special effects, story, and acting. That movie was made on a very low budget back when James Cameron didn't get a budget of a bazillion dollars to make special-effect movie marvels. T2: Judgement Day from the early 90s was even better than the original, a rare case of a sequel outshining an original. How many times in movies has the sequel been better than the original? Well I guess there are a lot of examples (Star Wars: Emplire Strikes Back and Aliens come to mind.) I actually threw a quote of the month from T2 up on the top of this bootleg page of mine because that movie is epic and deserves a quote.
T3: Rise of the Machines was not regarded as a great 3rd entry into the Terminator franchise, but I thought it was awesome. I still love T3. Unfortunately things have gone downhill since. They made a couple more Terminator movies that fucked up the franchise timeline and theme so this new Terminator is an effort to abolish all the Terminator movies after T2. Terminator: Dark Fate is essentially supposed to be the replacement and new Terminator 3.
WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW.
Dark Fate starts off badly and never recovers. Within the first minute or two of the movie we see Sarah and John Conner hanging out in some tropical locale. Things seem great, they seem happy. John turns towards his loving mother and then he gets a hole blasted in him as a Terminator shoots him in the chest. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! To add insult to injury the Terminator shoots him again, just to make sure his ass is dead.
OMG FUCK THAT WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!
We then pick up decades later when a new Terminator is sent to kill a new person. Sarah Conner shows up as a bitter but badass older lady, and they have a bunch of chase scenes where they barely escape the "bad" terminator. Thankfully for them there is a good cyborg from the future there to help, and eventually they find an old-ass Arnold Schwarzenegger living in a cabin in Texas. Turns out the old cyborg is the one who killed John Conner, but he felt badly about it, learned to be "human" and even got an insta-family. OMG SERIOUSLY?! Worst of all his fake human name is Carl and he sells window shades.
FUCK THIS MOVIE.
More things happen, the heroine barely lives, and Arnold sacrifices himself to help kill the bad guy robot-thing. Along the way they survive a waterfall over a dam because... reasons. The movie fucking sucks and James Cameron should be ashamed of himself. Cameron did not direct the movie, but he produced the thing and there was some hope that, with his involvement, it might not suck.
^HAHAHAHAHA. Funny meme/quote from the original Terminator movie.
I'd give Terminator: Dark Fate a 2 on a scale of 1-10. It is a bunch of crap! Sadly I think it is time for the Terminator franchise to be dead. Maybe HBO can acquire the rights and make some sweet spinoff show because it is still a fascinating scifi/dystopian universe. I think it could be fleshed out nicely much in the same manner than something like Westworld has been done.
Speaking of Westworld, that comes back next month for season 3. Oh Jesus, hell ya! If you don't like Westworld then I hate you. I probably hate you anyway, but I'll hate you a little more.
Alright turds, all two of you who actually read this bootleg site of mine, I have to go work on an Ohio tax return. Stupid fucking Ohio with their state, local, and in some cases school district taxes. What a bunch of crap that is! I also have a furnace not working so I might have to peel out of this tax office for a bit to go meet the heating guys. Thankfully most of what I have to work on is drop-off and email-type stuff. I do have a 1615 appointment, new client who saw the sign, who went to my business email address, and who wants me to do her taxes. I put the price of the simpler tax returns right on the site, and I quote more complex things on a case-by-case basis. This one will be simple so putting the price on there seems to have gotten her to schedule the appointment.
Right now I consider a "simple" tax return to be no dependents, no extra credits, one federal, one state, up to two w2s or other basic forms, $59. Adding college education credits, child tax credits, etc does increase the price, and that is also posted on my site. I'm cheaper than a lot of the others out there, but we own the building so that is a huge advantage. I have much lower overhead costs to run this place.
Monday, 2-03-20: 4 consecutive days. Trouble
This friggin' guy whom I will not name, man I think he totally sucks. He gets incredibly infatuated with my wife to the point where it is crossing boundaries and even making her uncomfortable. He recently asked her if he could get a tattoo of her handprint on his body. OMG GUY FUCK NO YOU CAN NOT DO THAT WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! Kat treats him well because he falls on the "special needs" spectrum, but I am sick of his ass and now finally she is sick of him also. Last Friday I was boozed up and talking shit at Jester's when he sat down across from me and stared at me. He was looking at me like he wanted me to die so I called him out on his bullshit. I finally got to quote Stone Cold Steve Austin from wrestling when I said "Take the bass out of your eyeballs when you look at me like that." However, the guy kept staring and things went downhill fast after. Once he refused to stop staring I gave him a verbal lashing that was incredibly harsh. I told him he sucked, I told him everyone hates him, and I said 20 other mean things. Once I was done verbally taking a crap all over him he just got up, said bye to Kat, and left.
I'm not sorry I trashed on the guy because he needed to hear it from someone. He makes a lot of people there uncomfortable, and he is obnixious. All of our friends and family prefer he not be there. Katherine and Debbie actually almost didn't go to Jester's Friday night because of him. They almost went to Half-Acre nightclub instead, and I thank the gods who do not exist they did not go to Half-Acre because some dude got shanked there in the parking lot that very night and died. OMG.
The annoying long-time Jester's patron lives for Fridays. It is his one passion, and he thinks my wife is like his family. His infatuation with her is incredibly abnormal and unacceptable. This blowout will not go well because he is borderline nuts. He posted some thing on his Failbook page that Kat showed me yesterday calling me a "Navy Boy" bully, but then his mom made him remove the post.
^FAIL TROPHY FOR THE CREEPY GUY WHO DOES REALLY HAVE SOME SPECIAL NEEDS BUT WHO IS SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOOD AND BAD BEHAVIOR.
ACTING LIKE A STALKER AND STARING AT MY 21-YEAR OLD STEP DAUGHTER'S BOOBS IS NOT OKAY YOU FUCKIN' DINK. NEITHER IS TELLING OUR FRIEND IT IS OKAY SHE IS A LARGER WOMAN BECAUSE FAT CHICKS ARE ATTRACTIVE. I FUCKING HATE THIS GUY!
This dude HATES me now. I hope he does not have the means to acquire firearms because who knows he might try to shoot me in the face. He is getting "banned" from Jester's for a while thanks to Kat, but I need to be careful becase he might show up and cause trouble. In his warped mind I will be the reason why he can't go anymore, and he really is infatuated with my awesome wife in a seriouly concerning way. He doesn't drink and he doesn't drive so that works in my favor. He's just a creepy, obnoxious, weird asshole and I hope he doesn't try to murder me and to kidnap Kat and put her in a pit in his basement.
Despite the drama I had a good weekend and didn't let it bother that me too much. We went out for a couple hours Saturday night, but I didn't drink too much. Yesterday was the Superbowl; the Chiefs beat the 49ers and I watched the last half of the game at the Pour House after we set up for Kat's karaoke show. I had some booze, not too much, and I stayed at the Pour House all night until the show ended at 0100. By the time we got the gear dropped off and got home and into bed it was closer to 0230. I'm probably tired and will crash hard later, but for now I am okay.
I'm at the tax office and I was waiting for a 1215-1230 client, but she is not here and now it is 1300. What a bunch of crap! Ah well I don't care that much she can come another time. She just Failbook messaged my awesome wife for the appt yesterday so everything was quite informal. I do have someone coming at 1330, someone else coming at 1445, and supposedly a couple others are stopping by today to drop off stuff for me to work on. Will they actually come? Maybe, maybe not. Some people want their taxes done quick for a refund, but most of my clients are not in that big of a hurry. There are still 2.5 months left until the filing deadline so no one really has a sense of urgency at this point, at least not in my office. Probably people who want loan advances want their stuff done faster, but thankfully I am not doing any of that bullshit.
January was a decent month for me. Things were quite slow at the tax office, but I read a couple books and learned a lot about various tax laws (mostly S-Corps.) I got a lot of exercise; I actually had my best January ever for exercise in my life so that is awesome. Winter was not harsh at all in January so the gas bills are a tad less than this time a year ago. Only had a couple plowable snows as well so that cost savings really helps, especially since the tax business took in a grand total of $533 for January. I'd say "What a bunch of crap" to that, but I have lots more still to come between now and April 15th.
^The awesome treadmill that I got from my Santa Sweet Pea wife for Christmas has helped me to get extra precious... precious exercise this winter. Also having heat in my bootleg gym now is great. I only keep it around 60 in that gym, a perfect amount of heat to take the chill out of the air and to keep the bars from feeling like ice. There were times in every past winter when it would be really cold in my gym and that made it a little more difficult to get a good workout in. Freezing cold dumbbells and barbells = what a bunch of crap!