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"There is no scenario where you get laid tonight with me." -Gavin (on the phone with his ex girlfriend who wants him back.)

Sunday, 8-31-25: 80s music before an early bedtime tonight. Did some research, did some work, poor Kat...
I had a few drinks Friday night, not enough to get really drunk, but I caught a good buzz and word-vomited on this bootleg site that almost no one will ever read. I was feeling really down about myself Friday night after Kat and I talked and she told me I was an asshole to our soon-to-be 4-year old grandson. I was trying to finish this floor platform downstairs, and it was all quiet until I got down there then Debbie and the kids came over and I could not work on it and I got frustrated. What a bunch of crap! Damon just wanted to help, but he's still 3 years old and his toy drill wasn't going to get anything done.

I just get so overwhelmed with everything we have going on all the time, and I'm often wishing for more simplicity. Thankfully yesterday and today were better days for me and I got some stuff done without feeling completely buried. We had some friends over last night, a small crowd, but it was a lot of fun. Sadly my awesome wife drank too much so she's epic hungover today. It's the worst hangover I've ever seen her have. What a bunch of crap! She bivouaced at 1930 so it's a REALLY early night. I could have watched some TV, but F that the Red Sox played earlier and won so I did some research on insulation options. I need R38 for that garage job, but the plans called for 2x8 rafters so the pink insulation (fiberglass I think) won't work to get R38. Looks like I'd need a mix of Rockwool and foam-board or the homeowner will need to pay a lot of his precious... precious money for spray-foam insulation.

Thankfully I don't need to insulate immediately, but in about a month I think it will be time for at least some insulating so I can sheetrock in October/November. Maybe? Hopefully! I should know what insulation to use, but codes have changed so I'm a little behind on that side of things.

We racked out at 0145 last night, but I switched to water and cut myself off so I wouldn't be hungover and it worked out well. I lost to Gavin at racquetball all 3 games earlier, but that is my lack of talent and not from a hangover. I'm not accurate enough so I mostly lose. What a bunch of crap! I also worked on the shed some more, and it's embarassing the thing isn't functional yet. I'm so close! I just can't manage my time properly to get it finished so we can stuff it full of stuff. I'll finish it next weekend. Maybe? Hopefully!

I have my other work computer on and I might work on some tax stuff. I was doing LLC research earlier because I still have clients needing me and it's ridiculous. Tomorrow I have to meet with Jason about his taxes in his office down in Rockport before we spend the afternoon having family time and celebrating Mom's 69th birthday. It will be a full day for my ass because a trip down to the ol' homestead always takes a while plus the drive. I have to drive through Camden tomorrow gods damn it. Beautiful town, but gets WAY too crowded in the summer and Route 1 going directly through the heart of town is an infrastructure embarassment of epic proportions. It's a bunch of crap! I wish a bunch of houses could get bulldozed to make room for a highway, but that will never happen. Cars just need to fly, but that's not for my lifetime..

Tuesday looks busy-ish for me as well with a 0900 Zoom meeting/appointment with Kat, off to work on that garage for a bit, then to the tax office for more paperwork and a 1400 meeting with a client. My tax office is totally portable now, but it's working okay so far. I bought a small HP printer at WalMart that only cost $119 and it's a black and white laser-printer. I'm sure the ink costs $100, but I shouldn't need that for a while. Maybe? Hopefully! What sucks about this printer is you need some app-thing to run the scanner. I installed the app-thing on the computer, but when I open it I only get this:

WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! THERE ARE NO BUTTONS TO CLICK TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL GODS DAMN IT.

Oh hey cool it's a song by Sisters of Mercy called Dominion/Mother Russia. It played last month or in June and I wrote about it then, but I haven't heard it since and I forgot about it until now. I think it's only the second time I've ever heard it and I should go buy it but I don't know how to buy music anymore. What a bunch of crap! I would buy songs for $2 or $3 a song, but I don't think I can do that. Hey my awesome DJ wife probably can she often buys karaoke songs for around that price from one of her professional websites.

Goodbye to August, 2025 in about 3 hours. Was it a good month for my ass? I would say overall nope, more bad than good. First blueberry raking was WAY too hot so I got an infection and had to quit early. Second it wasn't even a good crop this year the berries were quite sparse. Third when I got back home after raking and recovered from that nasty infection it got WAY too hot again. Early to mid-month was totally ridiculous and some days were VERY difficult to work outside in. Fourth I still have too much going on, and finally we still spend more than we make. What a bunch of crap!

Kat's 2015 GMC Acadia needs work to the tune of a few thousand dollars. Her AWD (All Wheel Drive) died so now it's a front-wheel drive SUV/car. The part alone is $2500 not to mention the labor for install so we are pwned. The Acadia needs new tires as well so that's $1200+ What a bunch of crap! We haven't decided what to do yet and that's a problem for another day.

Oh, my truck is about to officially be 15 years old. It's rusting more and more and it won't last much longer before I have to sink a lot into it. Again. We both need newer vehicles, but we can't afford to just buy them. Maybe we can get a reasonable financing rate on something? I dunno, but I'm not shopping today F that it's almost time to bivouac.

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Friday, 8-29-25: The negative energy... The Nothing... it's winning.
I'm broken and I don't know how to fix myself. I think I have an idea, but it's just a thought. There is too much negative energy in my bootleg life. What a bunch of crap! It's like The Nothing in The Neverending Story. It gets stronger and stronger and if I was Rock Biter my worthless hands were never good, big, strong hands so they never stood a chance. If that makes no sense to you then I highly advise you go watch the movie. If you don't like The Neverending Story then I hate you. I probably hate you already, but I'll hate you a little more.

^Makes no sense yet helps me stay alive because it's from the 80s and without the 80s nostalgia I'm a dead man. I might not write that sober, but half-in-the-bag bootleg Rambo speaks the truth tonight. I'm a fuckin' mess and it's my own gods damned fault.

Kat and I were talking before she bivouaed a couple hours ago (I'm out of here soon myself because I'm getting tired) and she said she was surprised how much of an asshole I've been at times lately. Earlier today we had some rain, I looked at the desk here in the nook off the kitchen/dining room, and I realized I needed to fix this bullshit before I went downstairs to finish some flooring. Papers were everywhere because I am not organized anymore. What a bunch of crap! So I got it mostly organized while I also worked on tax stuff because my tax business is eating my fucking soul lately. I can't believe how much time I'm putting into the business lately it's epic.

I finally got downstairs around 1500, it took a bit to clean up and set up, and then Debbie was over here with the grandkids and it was game over. I tried to work but it was a clusterfuck of people and then Kat was playing music and singing and all I wanted to do was finish this little 32 square-foot section of flooring in peace gods damn it. She picked out the flooring and it looks nice, but it's only $1.99 per square foot so it's not that easy to work with. It looks good but it's kinda cheap and unforgiving. Plus I had a couple fine cuts to make along the slider side and I could not focus and it was pissing me off. Lately pissing me off does not take much either. I swear too much and I'm becoming an asshole. I can't keep up and I'm really just ready to die but I don't know how to die without looking like a pussy and making a bunch of people sad so I just stay alive and hope my dog-shit life will get better. It is better than it was at the end of last year, but not by much. What a bunch of crap!

Ah well thankfully Def Leppard plays on my YouTube 80s channel. Hysteria, great song from the best album of all-time. Without Def Leppard's Hysteria album I think I would be dead. I'm not kidding either. It lifts me up when I'm down, and lately I am down a lot. A LOT.

So I'm trying to finish this floor and not fuck it up and I got my 4-year old grandson wanting to play and help me with his toy drill and I was kind-of a dink to him. I just wanted his ass to go home so I could finish the fuckin' floor, but I didn't realize how shitty I was. When Kat and I talked later she said she was disappointed in my behavior. She was nice about it, but message totally received. I was also an asshole last week when all I wanted to do was sit in a lawn chair and I was surrounded by our asshole birds. My half-drunk ass admitted to Kat earlier that the birds were a really dumb idea. I hate them and want them gone. I also hate our dogs and half our cats, but let's start with the birds.

We have four roosters and two hens, and you can't give away roosters. I will kill three of them and eat them and I swear to the gods who do not exist I am not joking, but how the fuck am I really going to do that? Let them run around the yard and pick them off with my model 870 shotgun? Tempting but no that's not real hunting. I guess the only right way to do it is to cut their heads off but I'm not qualified to grab them and make that happen without an escape. After they are dead then what? I am emotionally impotent so I'd eat them, but I don't think my awesome wife would and I can't blame her for that. I think three adolecscent roosters would feed us for at least a few days. Maybe? Hopefully.

I'd also kill the ducks and eat them. Duck soup? No clue I can't make fuckin' soup do I look like Chef Boy R Dee?! I'd breast them out like I do when I shoot a wild turkey, but I think my wife would not be impressed. She should just put them all on the Internet and hope someone wants them all. 6 chickens and 3 ducks FREE FOR THE TAKING FUCK MY LIFE.

Our dogs suck and most of our cats suck as well, but that's a problem for another day. It is part of the reason why I'm a dick lately, though. I resent my wife for turning our home into Animal Planet and I resent myself more for ot putting my foot down and telling her hell no to the pets. Sadly I thought the chickens were a good idea back in April. I did tell her no to the ducks and she got three of them anyway. What a bunch of crap! I hate the ducks more than I hate the chickens.

^I SUCK! I'm angry and I'm a pussy when it comes to saying NO to my wife. I think I hate myself.

What cheers me up? More 80s music! Pet Shop Boys Opportunities Let's Make lots of Money. I fuckin' LOVE this song and I feel like it might apply to my wife and I except she has the brains and the looks so I'm just pwned.

What's wrong with me? I used to not be such an asshole who hated most of the world. I think I just have too much going on and I need to stop taking on work. Actually the root of the problem is the failed restaurant sale from last fall. When we were about to sell the place I committed to this HUGE garage job in Brewer, basically a 2-year project, and I would NOT have taken that on had I known the restaurant would not sell. I love working on that garage, but it's only part-time and this house here in Eddington is a full-time job in itself.

I am trying to bring Mad Kat back because I feel guilty. I was the one who decided to shut it down like the experiment in the classic movie Dark City. SHUT IT DOWN. Kat wasn't ready to shut it down, I was, and now I regret it. I should not regret it since I lost a fuckload of money and 4 year of my worthless life doing it, but that's how I feel. I owe my wife a do-over so she can run it on her terms.

I really need more peace and quiet in my life. I want to sit outside on one of our totally bootleg decks with a book or magazine and just relax. However, I never get to do that because there is too much going on. There isn't peace and I need peace or I'm all done forever. I used to have peace and if I could go back in time I would return to 2007-ish so I could play AOE II, sit on the deck and read a book, go deer hunting, play Nintendo, watch The Three Stooges, and be simple. It's not even about wommens either. There is no ex-girlfriend for whom I pine. I just want to be alone for a bit is that too much to ask for? I think it is...

I'm not trashed-drunk, but I am a bit liquored up and I think half of what I just wrote I would not have written had I been more sober. Is there redemption for me? I dunno because I suck with kids, I suck with emotions, and I guess I just overall suck. What a bunch of crap!

Dying of natural causes would be cool because then no one would call me a pussy for dying on purpose. I'm ready.

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Thursday, 8-28-25: Up in the middle of the night again.
All I wanna know is why? Why can't I just stay asleep? This is the second consecutive night where I've bivouaced around 2200 and been up a couple hours later. I mean up, out of bed, on the computer while I eat a little snack and more edible. What a bunch of crap! I've been trying not to do too much edible to help me sleep, but it's obvious if I don't use enough I don't actually stay asleep. (Unless I'm totally wiped out and/or sick.)

I slept better when I was younger, but my mind always races. I think about the next steps on that huge garage job, I think about my wife's health, I think about the shed I'm building that still isn't done, I think about a possible addition on the house, I think about things I have to do for my tax clients, I think about reopening Mad Kat (we did sign a non-compete...), I think about getting a generator for the house, I just think and think and think and it doesn't stop. Am I more screwed up than a soup-sandwich?

^I fail because I always have too much to do.

I thought my life would be more simple after we ditched the restaurant, but it's really not. It is better, though. No stress about running out of money = HUGE difference from last year. However, we still spend more than we make so that can't go on forever. I do make decent money working on that garage job, but it is only about 20 hours a week. I also still have precious... precious money trickle in from the tax business, but it's not enough to live on. I might make another $2000-$3000 from the tax business between now and the end of the year and what couple can live off that? I guess that would buy our food for the rest of the year. Maybe? Hopefully! I dunno food is expensive now gods damn it.

I'm not working on that Brewer garage tomorrow because my helper, Daniel, isn't free until Saturday and I want to spend time with my awesome wife who is still recovering from nasal surgery 8 days ago. She has vastly improved the past couple days, but she isn't 100% and she shouldn't be driving yet so I'll go with her to run some errands in town and maybe grab a meal tomorrow. I will work about 4 hours on that garage Saturday then we're planning a small party here that night. I'll work around the house Sunday and then Labor Day it's down to the ol' homestead for Mom's birthday and a visit with the family. I also have to get together with Jason for a bit to go over his taxes.

Right now I have four tax clients that need some stuff from me in the next few days. First is Jason both his business and their personal taxes. Second is a friend who needs help with 3 years worth of stuff for his now-deceased parents. Third is a client who needs to file 5 years worth of tax returns dating back to 2018 (went to the IRS office with him for that one), and finally is a new client I'll be taking on for 2025. I talked to him for a half-hour yesterday and it will be a partnership LLC situation and what I think and hope will be a great new client.

I now have two tax clients who work for Space-X. How cool is that?! Elon Musk is probably insane, but his ambitions and financial ability to fund them are a wonder. He plans to get people to Mars at some point. Maybe not in my lifetime, but it needs to happen. Or does it? We're trashing this planet so maybe we don't deserve another one?

Mankind really should find a haibtable planet outside this solar system because one day the sun won't exist and neither will this Earth or Mars. However, that's not my problem and the experts say the sun still has millions of years left before it goes to plaid. Oh, speaking of going to plaid Spaceballs 2 is in the works. Wow! I don't know when it comes out so I should look to see if there's even a release date. Get this, Mel Brooks is still alive. Holy crap! I thought he died a long time ago, but nope he's 99 years old. How cool is that?

Sadly no John Candy. He was a MOG: half-man, half-dog. We had Uncle Buck on TV for a little before we attempted to sleep and that guy is so damn funny in that movie. John Candy teaming with John Hughes in the 80s = A+ decision-making.

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Tuesday, 8-26-25: Ladders, ladders, and more ladders. Where is OSHA?
I'm about at my maximum for this huge garage job in Brewer for this month, financially speaking. The homeowner and I have an agreement and I cap my work based on his budget. Sometimes he increases the budget and I work more. It's really a great fit for my loser-ass because I don't have to be there full-time. It's a HUGE job and I am still amazed every time I look at it. I suppose for a real carpenter who builds houses all the time it's no big deal, but for my part-time ass with a cobbled-together crew it's a lot. Most of the time I'm there by myself as I was today for a few hours after another meeting in the tax office. The tax business, OMG. It just keeps going and going and I just replied to an email from a potential new client.

Let's listen to Roxette. Why? The answer is obvious: they rock! Actually last night Kat played a song by them I've never heard and it's catchy so I just found their greatest hits compilation and I'll play some of that before I bivouac soon.

So for that garage job is on schedule. I think? If anything I might be ahead of schedule a tad based on the budget. No way it's getting done this year, but I'd like to finish the exterior. The owner emailed me a Genstone color he really liked just after blueberry raking earlier this month. WTF is Genstone? I had no idea, but now I do and then some since I've researched it, watched videos on it, and I installed some already. Here is a corner piece:

^Genstone is a faux stone made out of a styrofoam-type material that is pretty easy to cut and install. Home Depot sells it to order for delivery. Other places sell it as well, but Home Depot is easy since I have my pro account and I had a 10% off coupon. Plus it's a local place for returns, if needed.

The Genstone looks awesome, but it's close to $20 per square foot. OMG ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! It's just dense styrofoam. Not like the styrofoam peanuts in packing material, much more solid and durable than that, but still... foam stuff. Someone lives in a mansion as a result of this invention hehehe. The front will cost $2000 or so just for the Genstone to cover what, 100 square feet? He might want the Genstone on the porch interior walls as well so that would add at least $1000 more. I'll try to talk him out of that one...

I started installing it 16 feet in the air yesterday as it started to rain. We got a heavy drizzle for a bit and I got a few pieces on before it was too wet on the ladder so I did framing on the second floor under cover. I worked there close to 6 hours yesterday and just under 4 hours today. (I worked full days both days as the other hours were focused on tax work for clients.) I can't use my ladder to do the Genstone because it's not like vinyl siding at all. I'll put the ladder on new siding, but if I put the ladder on the Genstone it will scuff all up and that would be an epic fail. The ladder needs to be below or above it, and right now below is not an option and neither is above. So I rented more scaffholding this morning for another $250. I got $500 of scaffholding on the invoice for the owner, but I got it for a month and it saves a lot of time. A LOT. Plus it's much safer than the ladder. It's well-worth the cost for the hours it will save on the job.

I definitely was ridiculous today with my setup. It was really stupid-looking, but it got me where I needed to be. Mostly. How many ladders did I need?

^AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Not in the photo was a stool on the top floor by the Genstone. The photo doesn't truly show how nice that Genstone looks because of the light and all my ladders clogging up the view. I think a good photo of all of it installed will be a win. Maybe? Hopefully!

If anyone sends that photo to OSHA I am pwned. What a bunch of crap! All joking aside I felt really safe on 3 of the 4 and the bigger ladder extended above the Genstone was the one turd in the proverbial punch-bowl. I did NOT feel safe on that setup so I didn't use it more than once. I'll have to finish the blue siding to the top, the soffit and trim on the eave, and move scaffholding to the front so I can SAFELY finish the Genstone. I was planning for scaffholding there anyway to finish the eaves, trim, top plywood, etc so I just expedited the process.

I don't care if I die, but my mangled corpse does not need to splatter in their driveway from a 25-foot fall. Plus if I fall I'll probably accidentally live and have to spend $100,000 that I don't have on medical bills and wheel around in a bootleg scooter for the rest of my life. Or even worse I'd end up paralyzed drinking from a straw with no way to off myself unless I could bribe someone to do it for me. Hard pass on that lifestyle so safer work, more scaffholding, etc is the right call. We live on a second floor now so there is no wheelchair option that works here hehe.

Oh hey the Red Sox won again 5-0. They beat the piss out of the Yankees last weekend 3 games to 1 in the Bronx. I watched the one game out of the four they lost on Sunday night. I recorded the start and used FF to turn a 2.5 or 3-hour game into a 1.5-hour game. I actually didn't even watch the 9th inning becase it was a lost cause. What a bunch of crap! The Sox are 73-60 and in a playoff hunt. They lead in the Wild Card race but are 5 games behind Toronto for 1st place. The Yankees are actually 72-60 so it's a close race between the two teams. The Sox are something like 8-2 vs the Yankees this season wow that rocks!

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Saturday, 8-23-25: A decent day today, shed photo, vacation this fall? Oh cool House of Hair.
It's 2135 and bedtime in a bit. We are taking it easy this weekend no parties no people over for karaoke no backyard fire just chillin' and getting things done around the house. My poor wife is still in a lot of pain from her nasal surgery Thursday. Breathing for her is hard, but she's tough and I think she'll start feeling better tomorrow. Maybe? Hopefully! She has this gauze-stuff way up in her nasal cavity that should dissolve away soon and then she can breathe better.

I had a pretty good day today. We had fantastic weather again so I did yoga in the morning, worked on the shed some, went for a jog (yes I walked some I always do), took a lunch break, worked on the shed some more, then had a pizza and hung out with Kat for the evening. We did sit outside for a bit with the kids and ducks and chickens. I'm the warden for the birds until Kat is better, and so far it's easy because she made it easy for me. She got everything doe Wednesday before her surgery, but the ducks cage is dirty again so I have to hose it out tomorrow. She went down there the day before her surgery and two of the ducks were pokerizing in the pool AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I think we have two males and one female so eggs soon? They are closing in on 5 months old, but they are really big and they grew up fast.

We have four roosters and two hens so that will be a problem soon as well. So far no cock-fighting (insert dirty joke here) and no hen eggs, but those come soon. Kat put the roosters on Failbook for free but no one wants them. What a bunch of crap! Do I have to kill three of the roosters? God I hope not I don't want to hold them down and chop their heads off or shoot them. It just seems wrong, and I know that is ironic coming from a hunter but at least hunting the prey has a chance. If I do have to kill them you better believe that's gonna be a few meals!

When I started working on the shed a couple weeks ago I kept track of my hours just to see what I'd have into it, but I lost track beause there are too many days and times where I work on it for a half hour, I get busy doing something else here, I come back to it for a half hour, etc. I'd guess I have 25-30 hours into the thing. I am overbuilding it some, but it will last. Maybe? Hopefully!

^The roof shingles are installed most of the way up on both sides and I've also finished most of the shelving inside and not shown in the photo on the left side. I might build some shelves on the right side later, but that depends on how we try to stack/fit everything in. I'll work on it some tomorrow, but I won't finish it.

100.3 WKIT plays a radio show hosted my Dee Snyder every Saturday night called House of Hair, and I realized I could put that on as I write this bootleg update that almost no one will ever read instead of YouTube 80s music. So far so good! I don't have it cranked, but I might turn it up if a great song comes on. Right now it sounds like old Iron Maiden, but I'm not 100% sure. I like some Iron Maiden and this one is decent. Stranger in a Strange Land is their best song, and I haven't listened to that one in a long time.

Nope my bad I can tell this is Ozzy. I think it's from his Black Sabbath days? Ozzy just checked out of the mortal world a couple weeks ago so he gets extra radio time. That's okay with me as I like a lot of his stuff, but I'm not a huge fan. I can't believe he lived to be 76 OMG. His rock-star lifestyle is quite famous. Did he really bite a head off a bat in the 80s? I dunno I saw a documentarty once many years ago but I forgot and I don't even care... whether or not I care.

I need to decide whether to skim that shed exterior with a thin T-11 plywood siding or vinyl siding. I think vinyl will look better and I won't have to paint it, ever, but it will most certainly cost more and take a little longer to install. It's just a shed so it doesn't need to look fancy. I just want it water-tight, mouse-proof, and I don't want to have to paint it in the future. Our shed in Brewer was a bit smaller and it worked great for us until years later when mice took over and we lost some stuff from the damage. There were turds everywhere those disgusting little bastards. What a bunch of crap!

I went to Interval International earlier, a vacation-booking site, and it had been years since I was on that thing. I didn't know my username and password so I had to have them email the resets to me. What a bunch of crap! I was looking at stuff in Mexico and Arizona and I need to go look some more because we do want to take a trip at some point between the end of next month and November. I think October would be perfect for us if we can find the right option. I would love to get back to The Royal Haciendas in Mexico, but that might have to wait until the spring. Guy goes to shop more now before guy bivouacs shortly...

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Friday, 8-22-25: I'm going down the rabbit-hole again. I need to fix it or I am pwned.
All I wanna know is why? Why can't I keep up with my own bootleg life? I am totally blown up with everything, and I am really struggling to keep it all together. I have no kids and I am self-employed yet it's all I can do to find time for myself at all. Updating this turd-heap that almost no one will ever read? Barely time for that lately. What a bunch of crap! When I do update it I can rarely finish and I can't even cram everything in. Epic fail. So much is going on in my life right now there is no way I can even write about it all before my edible kicks in and I bivouac. I'll try to squeeze as much as possible in, and I need to figure out how to fix my life before it's too late.

Earlier this month blueberry raking didn't turn out so well when it was kind-of a crappy crop, it was 100 fuckin' degrees for half the limited season, and then I got an infection and needed to recover from that. I thought this year would be my best-ever blueberry raking year from a time-management perspective, but nope it was terrible and I got home all backed up on everthing. So what's the problem here? (I don't regret going raking I'd do it again every time.)

I have three problems that need solving. First is this MASSIVE garage job I'm doing in Brewer. I really enjoy the work, but holy crispy crap it is a mammoth job. I'm not there 60 hours a week, far from it. I probably average 15-20 hours a week there and I could do the math since it's all on my spreadsheet, but F that I'm not doing that math. So far since I started that job last fall it's up to $41,862 and it's only roughly halfway done from the perspective of time. I estimated it might cost $100,000 total but some of those costs aren't on me. I'm not installing a heat pump because I don't know how. I'm not pouring a concrete floor for parking because I don't know how. I wish I did know how to do the concrete because I need a couple slabs here at our place, but that is for another day...

This is our desk right now:

Doesn't look too bad, but I have papers EVERYWHERE. I could stop and organize it all, but I have other stuff I want to do and yes that is totally 100% my fault hehe.

The second problem is all the work I have to do here at our house. I need to finish this friggin' 10x12 shed and I barely worked on it this week. I did put in about 3 hours this afternoon, but every fucking time I work on it the weather is hot and there is unlimited sun and I feel like I'm getting cooked. I have the best tan I've ever had in my life, but that doesn't make me invincible and the sun just saps the energy. I can't believe how sunny it's been, and we are officially in a drought that looks to last into September. What a bunch of crap! We finally got perfect temperatures, 70s during the day around 45-55 at night, never humid, but in the sun I still feel like I'm slow-cooking in an oven gods damn it.

I did spend two days with almost no sun on me because Wednesday I had a car appointment at the shop, tax stuff to do, etc. Yesterday my awesome wife had a surgery on her nasal passage so I didn't work outside at all. The surgery for her was much-needed after a fall a few years ago on the cement floor at Mad Kat. She was on the dance floor announcing or singing when some drunk chick hit her from behind and down she went. At the time we didn't realize there was damage, but they had to clean up bone spurs so that took several hours and most of the day. I'm glad she had the surgery, and I was able to do some work in the hospital waiting area while they put her to sleep, fixed her up, and woke her back up. I feel badly for her because she's in a lot of pain right now and she will be for at least a few more days. God forbid she sneezes...

My final problem that is really less of a problem than an unexpected curve is my tax business. Last week, for the first time ever, I went to the Bangor IRS office with a client for a meeting. He owes a lot in back-taxes, I told him that's not my area of expertise, but I know him and he seems to trust me so I think I can help. Maybe? Hopefully! I have other clients needing my ass as well so it just hits me for at least a few hours a week each week and today I booked a 1100 meeting for next Tuesday to finish a tax return for people who had been on extension.

Oh, about 45 minutes ago, 2100 on a friggin' Friday night, I got a text from a client with a 1099. OMG WHO TEXTS THEIR TAX STUFF AT 9PM ON A FRIDAY NIGHT?! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! I'm not replying to that or it sends the wrong message that texting me at all hours is A-ok. I like these people, but they don't do things like most "normal" people do when it comes to taxes. I'll email them and not hear back for two weeks when I know they get the email. Same for calls or texts hahaha.

I am glad the tax business is busy-ish still because I want to focus more and more on that as I grow older. However, I didn't expect it. I went from putting in about 3 hours a month on the tax business May through September the past couple years (before that COVID made it weird) to putting in that much PER WEEK this year. OMG. It won't slow down anytime soon either. Jason came up Monday to drop off his tax stuff so I have that to work on still. It was his first time seeing the house and it was a great visit.

This week kicked the shit out of my ass. Monday I worked about 3 hours before I spent the afternoon with Jason. That night I talked to Phil for an hour-plus on the phone. Tuesday morning was medical appointments with Kat since she's not supposed to drive right now then it was off to the IRS to meet my client and deal with that. Wednesday was the car to the shop, more tax work, then a little on that garage. Yesterday was Kat's surgery and today was some work on that garage before I wanted to come home to make sure Kat was okay. I left her alone about 4 hours, and that's all I wanted to do since she's still recovering from her surgery.

I haven't even covered all of it. I don't think I can, but I will say that even though my life sucks again due to me making my own luck I did have fun last weekend both Friday and Saturday nights. On Friday night we went to Cap's, and I actually had a blast there. First time I've ever had fun at the new Cap's, but I have only gone there a few times since the old one burned down pre-Covid. Most of the people there we knew from Mad Kat, and some chick offered Kat $100,000 to restart Mad Kat. Get this, she offered it IN THE WOMMENS' RESRTOOM AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'd normally think that was a joke, but I think she was serious since she mentioned it to me later and I think she has money...

We can't reopen a restaurant, we signed a non-compete, but we are making plans just in case because Mack's, the place that opened where we were, is not doing well. I won't talk crap about Mack's here, but their Google reviews are worth looking at.

Saturday night we had a family dinner and a fire for a bit (with the garden hose right there since we are in a drought) before we did some karaoke downstairs in what has quickly become an amazing hangout area. I even sang a little! (Mexican Radio solo and Obsession as a duet with my awesome wife. Yes, I was drunk hehe.) We hung out most of the night with Via and Daniel, and they are great people who are interested in the land we own next door. That added more work to my plate, but that one will be worth it if we can do a fair deal. More on that in the weeks to come. Maybe? Hopefully!

When Kat was in surgery yesterday I had my laptop computer with me so I could work. I did a business plan cover letter, I shopped for generators and found a Generac I think will be perfect, and I worked on more tax returns. I swear to the gods who do not exist it just never ends! I know I'm forgetting stuff as well so what I wrote above is just what happened to come to mind after a couple drinks.

It sucks that I can feel myself going down the mental rabbit-hole again. I was doing okay for a while, but it's coming undone and I need to gather it all back up into one organized pile. I used to be VERY organized and thorough but I changed and now I am scattered and all over the map. Kat says it best when she says I put too much on my plate. She's right! Working on our own home is a beast of a job then I have another beast of a job on that garage in Brewer then I also have tax clients.

One thing that ended, a very good thing I think, is Kat's last day of watching baby Dylan was Wednesday. OH JESUS HELL YA! Babies are ugly to look at and they just don't make sense. I know they're required for humanity to continue, but they are certainly not for me. I played with baby Dylan some because I want to help mold the next generation for the sake of mankind. She's about 8 months old, and she doesn't know how to put a square peg into a square hole yet hahahahaha! How old was I when I learned that? If I asked Mom she's probably say I was 10 years old and drooling HAHAHAHA. I am laughing at my own dumb joke on the Interweb what a bunch of crap! I'm sure I was dumber then Dillon and Debbie's kids, though. I am an idiot because what smart person creates this trash-heap website?

Pet Shop Boys play in the background. It was Def Leppard before that and both are amazing options.

I think I hit the sweet-spot. I'm exactly half-drunk and half-baked and it's amazing. It won't last because in a few minutes I will tank out and need to bivouac. I just hope I can sleep. I can't sleep without an edible almost ever because my brain won't "turn off." That's a great expression I first heard from my awesome wife because it happens to her as well. Just laying there thinking is great, but not if you can't stop it from happening naturally. For me edibles save my ass, for her it's just some melatonin and even then it only works for her sometimes. For me the edibles don't always work either because I refuse to overdo it.

So Kat was watching baby Dylan most weeks M-F from 0710 - 1630 or later. That's fine, but the pay wasn't great (it's family so that's secondary but still matters so we can afford our lives.) What really pissed me off about it is the fact that she naps a lot as all babies will, but I had to be very quiet and sometimes one little thing would wake her up. What a bunch of crap! Then Kat would get frustrated and I just wanted to leave.

Our dogs didn't help with that either. They would sometimes bark and wake her up, and when I'm home all they do is follow me around. Our dogs are broken and I can't fix it. Groot really gets amped up, Tiger Lilly is more chill, but Tiger Lilly eats shit every day and that pisses me off. I'll scoop it up but it doesn't matter somtimes she drops a deuce, spins around and starts making it a meal. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! I told Kat I'm ready to re-home our dogs and I meant it at the time, but they are 8 and 9 years old and we are their wardens for as long as they shall live.

After they die I might be done with dogs, though. We shall see...

Alright turds, all two of you who read this bootleg site, I am out of here. Who knows when I'll update again?! Hopefully more often now that we don't have the baby here and we don't HAVE to get up at 0600. I never HAD to get up that early, but I actually liked doing it so who knows maybe that's still my schedule?

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Wednesday, 8-13-25: Very hot weather end soon. Three different work-areas today. I drank too much!
Sunday was 90 degrees, the beginning of a very hot week. We hit 96 Monday, 98 yesterday, and 93 today. It's been BRUTAL. I have mostly exterior work happening right now so this really sucks. A lot. Sunday didn't feel that hot, but my loser-ass was hungover badly. When was the last time I got a hangover?! I'd say years. I drank too much Saturday night. What a bunch of crap! Oh well it was fun and great weather. I actually dry-heaved some Sunday late morning once I got my pathetic ass out of the rack. All I wanna know is why? Why did I get so banged up? I don't think I drank much more than my normal. Did I eat too much edible before I racked out? Kat said since I had just finished strong antibiotics the day before the booze might have hit me harder. Too bad because I really wanted to work on the shed Sunday but I was wasted like Doc-J and 8-Ball from Full Metal Jacket. Gods damn it!

Today I worked most of the morning at that garage job installing a final south-side bottom window and siding before the sun came around and it got too hot. I've had to place myself in the shade as much as possible because working in the sun = DO NOT WANT.

^I plan to have all the windows installed and the siding pretty much done by Labor Day. I was only able to work there a couple hours yesterday and about the same Monday due to the stupid-heat. The siding will slow way down as I elevate, but I dug out more rusty staging from the house here as I cleaned out the area under the back deck so that should help. Even though the staging is rusty it seems strong enough. You can see in the photo I have some rusty staging off to the right in front of the house so I'll move that over later this week or next week. The staging by the house held up just find and that's been there a month.

Thankfully the weather starts to turn for the better tomorrow. We do expect some showers and thunderstorms, but we will "only" be in the 80s and beyond that I see a lot of low humidity days with mostly 70s and some 80s. Lots of dry weather expected as well and we are in a drought now. It's only minor drought, but it will get worse and the state isn't even issuing burn permits in most areas. What a bunch of crap!

After I worked on that garage I went to the tax office to give my new rental plan a trial-run for a client meeting. It worked out great! Here was my temporary office for today:

I dedicated a laptop computer for the tax business (not the one I'm on now) and setup was a breeze. The tables and chairs are provided so it only took me a few minutes to rearrange some and I was good-to-go. The tax business does not stop; every single week I have people needing stuff from me. Sometimes the questions are easy like the guy who called me today asking what taxes he'll pay for selling his house for $208,000. He's lived there with his family for years so that one was easy: NO TAX FOR YOU.

The client I met with today is much more complex and I'm not 100% sure I can handle it. I know the guy so I was honest about it. The IRS needs him to file taxes from as far back as 2018 and I'm meeting an IRS agent with him next week. That will be a first for me, but I'm looking forward to the challenge. Maybe? Hopefully!

The office plan I am on for now allows me use of a private office up to 5 times a month plus mail service and people can drop off to me. It's a lot less expensive than a dedicated office so we'll see how it goes. I need to make sure I don't forget stuff or that will be embarassing so I made a checklist that I will use each time I need an office. I'm using an office there next week as well if not for a client meeting then just for a place to hang out and work while my awesome wife has her car in the shop nearby.

By the time I got home and ready to work on our shed it was "only" 91 outside hehehe. The temp did drop into the 80s, a breeze picked up, and I got some shade in the late PM so I made good progress for a couple more hours. I haven't kept EXACT track of my time, but I think I have about 17.5 hours total into it as of now including planning and getting supplies. For the past two mornings I've been out there working on it before 0700 so I could beat the heat. I get shade there until about 0830. Thankfully once we get back to normal temps I won't have to play that stupid "beat the heat" game anyore. Four consecutive 90+ degree days including a 96 and a 98 = WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

It got up to 95 inside our place here on the 2nd floor both yesterday and Monday. It makes sleeping difficult even when I take an edible. I guess next year we should get a heat pump or some kind of AC because summers are brutal now.

I dunno when I will finish the shed, but I'm thinking next week. All depends on how much I work on it this weekend. Once it's water-tight we can load it right up. I need it done no later than the end of this month so we can ditch at least one of our two storage units. Paying for storage = what a bunch of crap! Building a shed in this heat also = what a bunch of crap!

I almost went for a jog not long ago, but F that it's still too hot and I'm tired of dealing with it. I wanted to go a couple times earlier this week, but 90s is just too hot it takes too long to cool off and it's a good way to get heat stroke. All set. I sweat enough working outside in this bullshit. I'm done with summer bring on fall! Summer kinda sucks now half the time because it gets too hot. What a bunch of crap!

Alright turds, all two of you who read this bootleg site, I'm out of here. My awesome wife should be home soon from an appointment then we'll watch a little TV, eat some food, and bivouac. Maybe tonight we can sleep without three fans on in the bedroom hehehe.

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Saturday, 8-09-25: Three checks to the bank today. A shed that is well on its way.
I can't handle it anyore. We have too much stuff and none of it is where I want it to be. What a bunch of crap! I want to start working on the gym room, but it's so full of possessions that I don't even know where to start. I've been wanting to build a shed here, but I wasn't sure where to put it until Thursday when I was doing yoga. It came to me; the lightbulb went off in my pea-brain! I have a great little spot beyond the dog-corral-area for a 10x12 shed so yesterday morning I loaded up about all my truck can handle for weight and started the footprint:

^Nine concrete blocks about the size of a cinderblock each but no holes like a cinderblock would have. The soil there is really dry and mostly gravel so I'm not worried about a frost-heave. I've built two other sheds in the past the same way and neither of those heaved from frost, at least not that I could tell. This one better not jinx my ass!

Today I got more 2x4s at Lowe's before we played racquetball, and now it looks like this:

Walls all framed up awesome! I need to add a few more nails in spots, a few screws, and a top-plate for the 12-foot sides but that's all easy stuff. Tomorrow I can start the walls. Maybe? Hopefully! I plan to use the lumber we have here for the walls and roof so that will ease the budget a bit.

Wow the weather is perfect right now. Low humidity, breezy, warm, sunny. Great conditions for a party that is going to happen within the hour. I'm all cleaned up after doing the carpentry, losing at racquetball (I won one of 3 cutthroat games not terrible), mowing and weedwacking, etc. The mowing is getting easy since it's been so dry. I haven't even mowed in a couple weeks and it didn't desperately need it today. More dry weather is expected for the next few days as well, but we hit 90+ Mon-Wed and tomorrow will be 88 with humidity increasing. What a bunch of crap! Oh well at least I won't be blueberry raking for this heat wave.

I'm all healed up from my infection, and I just made a coffee brandy and milk. I'll have a few tonight but not so many I get a hangover. Maybe? Hopefully! My last day of raking, possibly ever, was Wednesday. I only raked for 5.25 hours because I got tired and the field was running out in a hurry. I only did 25 boxes, $175, but it's better than nothing. I could have busted it for 30 boxes, but I didn't dare push it since I was still on antibiotics and probably only between 80-90% of full strength. The raking wasn't good, but I really didn't care how can I complain when I made $175 in 5.25 hours of work? It was a full day because the drive is 3 hours round-trip and I was there longer than the 5.25 hours. I arrived around 0830 and stayed until around 1515, but I was talking to Cliff for a while and resting some, the usual. Weather was good, maybe a tad hot with little wind, but no complaints. I still call the season a D on the A-f scale, and I only made $1463 for the season. Roughly $39/hour this season not a terrible hourly, but I had to pay for a doc visit the camping, ice, gas, etc. I guess it was still worth it for the experience. Maybe? Hopefully!

Before I picked Gavin up for racquetball I stopped at Lowe's for supplies and the bank to deposit 3 checks. One was the raking money, one was my monthly payment for that garage job, and the final one was the installment-sale money from the restaurant. $8463 going into the bank Oh Jesus Hell ya! Sadly it's not all gravy because we have some looming bills to pay. It's a lot better than a kick in the nuts hehe.

I'll work on our shed all day tomorrow and Monday it's back to work on that huge garage. All the windows came in yesterday for that garage so that is officially awesome. I'm looking forward to getting windows in and continuing the siding. I'm not looking forward to the damn heat, though. Last heat wave got me a gods damned infection, and I am convinced the stupid-hot weather is the culprit. Raking in that heat was totally ridiculous and what a bunch of crap all rolled up into one.

I have a 1000 appointment Tuesday and a tax client Wednesday so I won't put too much work on that garage those days. The friggin' tax business, OMG. I just keep having clients needing things there is rarely a break. It's not a full-time gig right now, but it easily has been hitting me for a few hours a week minus the blueberry raking week of course. I've been setting up my laptop computer and a couple days ago I got my new office plan in place. I pay a flat rate for the use of a private office up to 5 times a month so I think that's perfect for what I need right now. I'll use an office Wednesday next week the 13th, again on the 20th, and possibly one more time around the 27th if needed. I can get the office for a full day 0900-1700, but I doubt I'll need it for that long since I can do some work from home.

I've still been shopping around for other options for my tax office, but nothing good has shown itself. I am happy where I am now and the option to only have an office 4 or 5 months out of the year and being portable the other months is a good fit. It's not a good long-term plan, but it will get me by until I grow the business enough and/or find the right fit for a year-round office. Being portable will be a pain because I'll have to take 10-15 minutes to set up my computer and a printer and then break it all down after. I'll need a box with me of envelopes, pencils, the calculator, and everything else as well. Hopefully it goes well for my loser-ass.

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Tuesday, 8-05-25: Back to rake one more time tomorrow?
I am still planning to go blueberry raking tomorrow for what will likely be one last time this season. Maybe? Hopefully! I'm not super-excited for it since I got all banged up and infected last week, but I am recovering and I feel a sense of obligation to Cliff. Sadly his field is 60 miles away, 1.5-hours each way (no friggin highway it's a lot of back roads) so when I go I want to stay all day. I am feeling MUCH better and it looks like I can avoid the ER and/or another doc visit. Maybe? Hopefully! On Sunday afternoon my awesome wife was threatening to take me to the ER so I had to fake feeling a little better hehe. I fell asleep on the couch for a bit and when I got up my infected right leg siezed up a bit and I needed a minute before I could walk. What a bunch of crap! Wish she hadn't seen that now she doesn't want my ass going raking but I have to go because if this is my last-ever season (seems likely) I'm not going out like this gods damn it.

I still stand by my assertion from a couple days ago that this raking season was firmly a D on an A-F grading scale. However, there were some good moments like Gavin's ex-girlfriend trying to get back together with him. He kept shutting her down and she kept trying and it was so friggin' funny. She burned him badly in the past so good for him for not wanting to repeat that emotional disaster again. She is one of the boss's daughters so that always adds a layer of complexity to things. However, Cliff likes Gavin and lot and I think Cliff would trade his daughter for Gavin anytime! For the record Cliff has never said this and I'm just throwing it out there as a crazy idea that has no merit based on actual facts. She showed up to our campsite driving way too fast so the owner had to regulate on her and we had to apologize a lot so we didn't get tossed the hell out of there. What a bunch of crap!

I got a good pitcure of Daniel raking on one of the three days he stayed with us and got a taste of the crazy raking-camping life we take on once a week every other year (used to be annual until 2019 when Cliff dropped some fields.)

^He is 24 years old, maybe 25, and the rest of us are double his age or more. Cliff is 75, I'm 49, Gavin is 50, Phil is mid-50s, and Mike is upper 40s. Cliff needs younger people to rake if he plans to keep doing it into his 80s. Not sure he does, but who knows the guy is a beast still. He was telling us stories of his younger years lifting up a VW Beetle with his friend one on each end and people were walking under it OMG HAHAHAHA. Part of the fun of it is listening to Cliff tell old raking stories expecially about a raker nicknamed"Vail Pail" beause he would fluff his buckets up with hay. Too bad I didn't rake for Cliff back when Vail Pail was there I was either in the Navy or raking up here.

^75-year old Cliff raking in the "trash" while Gavin heads down to start a new row. Cliff often wears headphones for music hence the yellow on his head. The guy is simply fucking awesome.

^Funny I've been raking for 35-40 yrs and this is the only year I know of where someone took a picture of me actually blueberry raking thank you, Daniel. That was before I got too infected to work.

Now that I am feeling better I've been more able to work on my tax office stuff from here at home. My tax office looked like this the Saturday before I left for raking:

^My awesome wife helped me there she is in the window!

All cleaned out and mostly in storage for $45/month (sensitive stuff locked up here.) I don't have a tax office right now what a bunch of crap! However, I can pay for a plan there where I can get use of a day-office a few times a month for a reasonable rate. The office would have a desk and chairs, but I need to bring my own other stuff so I need to buy a smaller printer/scanner since the one I have now is pretty bulky. I shopped around at office lease availability and the options are crap, crap, and more crap. What a bunch of crap! I do like the place I am at now and come January I can upgrade to a full office again for a few months then drop back down. Maybe? Hopefully!

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Sunday, 8-03-25: This blueberry season = borderline epic failer.
Blueberry raking 2025 was a shit show for me.  On a school-grading scale of A to F in was firmly a D, and it could go lower if I don't start feeling better soon.  I had to come home 1.5 days early and I had to spend $250 yesterday at walk-in care and the pharmacy.  What a bunch of crap!

The season started off well enough last week on Sunday when I arrived at the field.  Things looked decent and I was able to rake 16 boxes in 2 hours of work.  Not bad!  My plan was always to only rake a couple hours Sunday so I could go visit my family in the afternoon then meet up with Gavin and set up camp that evening. All that day went well enough and it was back to raking Monday.  Sadly Monday was the day when I realized I might have some problems for the season.  It was HOT.  We worked towards the last part of the left field where we usually start and the raking got worse.  My friend, Daniel, arrived Monday morning to rake as well so I showed him how to do it and ended up with a somewhat ok number at lunch.  After lunch it got even hotter and we went to a section we thought would be okay but was not.  It sucked!  I only raked a few after lunch for two reasons.  First it was really hot and second the berries just weren't there.  Going from decent raking to bad raking all in one day = epic failer.

Tuesday was even hotter but we did get the good news when Cliff increased the pay from $6 to $7 per 27-pound box.  Awesome!  Sadly the raking sucked and it was just miserably hot. We thought it would be a little cooler Wednesday and it was, but not by much and after 3 days of raking in very high heat and humidity I started not feeling so well.  Then I noticed some irritation under my right armpit but it was minor.  I was working hard and feeling ok until Wed PM when I noticed things were a little off with me.  Thursday we went from boiling hot to cool and a little too chilly with rain developing.  OMG NO FUCKIN RAIN WAS IN THE FORECAST AT ALL WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!  It rained off and on all day, not a total deluge, but enough to be annoying and slow down my day.  Going from really hot to chilly was not good for me but I did okay that day even though I didn't feel 100%.  Friday the weather was perfect, but I had a little tumor forming under my right arm that wasn't actually a tumor but it looked like a boil/abscess/all-bad.  We were in better raking behind the house so I got 40 boxes on what was a beautiful weather day, but I was not 100% so that cost me a few boxes.

^This is what I saw not long before we left for raking, but we only had one cool day out of them all what a bunch of crap!

I probably should have gone to the doc Friday, but I wanted to rake yesterday to help Cliff before I headed home.  My original plan was to come home today, but I changed it when we had all the heat then cold and I knew I was not doing well physically.  My bootleg body was getting more and more sore and that is NOT normal.  Usually day 3 is the sore-body apex day then it gets better, but each day I was falling apart more and more.  In the beginning I felt good and like I was actually in good raking shape, but that was short-lived.

I did have a good final night camping out with Gavin before yesterday morning when I looked at my boil and knew I was totally screwed.  I had to get to a doc ASAP so I packed up camp and headed home with a stop at a newer "Convenient MD" place in Belfast.  I was planning to go to the Bangor one, but on the drive I remembered seeing the one in Belfast and that was great because there was no line and I got in and out quickly.  The Bangor one would have been packed and I would have had to sit there for hours. It's a definite infection, the doc had to lance my boil and prescribe Cephalexin (strong antibiotic) and send me on my way.  Bye bye $200 for the doc visit and $54 for the antibiotic at Brewer Walgreen's.  What a bunch of crap!

So my raking season was cut short because I got a bad infection.  Then to add insult to injury I have three smaller infected areas on my right outer calf that look like bug bites of some kind.  All I wanna know is why?  Why am I so prone to infections lately?  It seems I've had a few in recent years, some worse than others, and this one is BAD.  They had to send blood from it for a test or culture or some shit.  I won't even get those results back until possibly tomorrow? This sucks!

The quality of the raking wasn't the best, but with the pay raise the opportunity to make good money was still there.  I did make over $200 each day Mon-Fri for a total of around $1280, but camping and supplies eats up $250 and the doc was $250 so I really have "only" made closer to $780 so far.  What a bunch of crap!  I will drive down Wed (assuming I'm healed) and rake all day for another $100-150 (raking will be worse) but I'm only doing that to help Cliff cover ground since it's only Cliff and Phil left.  Gavin goes back to work, Mike already went back to work, and that's it for the crew.

We did have a REALLY great small crew this year.  Mike is a great raker and I worked alongside him a couple years ago as well.  Much like Gavin he takes a week off from his job to rake and earn extra $$$$.  I also used to take vacation to rake, but not in over 10 years since I'm self-employed hehehee. Daniel did awesome and had a great attitude considering the hot weather and not-great raking.  He stayed Wednesday on his last day and got 40.  That ended up being the most of anyone for the day so I'm very happy for him. He could only go for 3 days because he's in the Air Force and had to get back for shifts on the base.